- 12 years ago
Short / Comedy (1947) 17 minutes ~ Black & White
To inherit a fortune, voice teacher Shemp must marry before six o'clock, but no girl will accept his proposal. Finally one of his repulsive students agrees to marry him, just in the nick of time. When the rest of the prospective brides hear about the inheritance, they show up at the ceremony and a free for all ensues. Shemp marries before the deadline, but wishes he was still a free man.
Director: Edward Bernds
Writer: Clyde Bruckman (story and screenplay)
Stars: Shemp Howard, Larry Fine, Moe Howard, Dee Green, Christine McIntyre, Doris Houck
To inherit a fortune, voice teacher Shemp must marry before six o'clock, but no girl will accept his proposal. Finally one of his repulsive students agrees to marry him, just in the nick of time. When the rest of the prospective brides hear about the inheritance, they show up at the ceremony and a free for all ensues. Shemp marries before the deadline, but wishes he was still a free man.
Director: Edward Bernds
Writer: Clyde Bruckman (story and screenplay)
Stars: Shemp Howard, Larry Fine, Moe Howard, Dee Green, Christine McIntyre, Doris Houck
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00The End
00:38Now, you see, Miss Dinkelmeier, that's the way it should be sung.
00:41Shall we try it again?
00:42I'll try anything for you, Professor.
00:44Oh, that's fine, fine.
00:47If you please, Doctor.
00:50Doctor!
00:53Doctor!
00:55Hey.
01:04I'll hear my spring in your heart.
01:12I'm ready to rise and fall.
01:23No, no, you are too portissimo, too allegro, too quantro.
01:27Oh, is that bad?
01:28It ain't good.
01:28You're supposed to be singing about the voices of spring,
01:31not the eruption of a volcano.
01:32Give with the throat, not with the bellows.
01:34Oh, Professor, you want it more like a bird.
01:38That's it. That's it.
01:40Give me the bird.
01:48Look.
01:51Play.
02:00Play.
02:32That's enough, that's enough.
02:34We've done enough for today.
02:35You might hurt your voice, you know, bend it, crack it, or break it or something.
02:38Oh, Professor, you're so considerate.
02:41I'm so crazy about you.
02:44Don't forget, we've got another lesson Tuesday.
02:47Gargle with old razor blades.
02:48All right, Professor, I know you wouldn't want anything to happen to my throat.
02:53Except to have somebody cut it.
02:55How would you like to be married to a dame like that?
02:57Don't even say that.
02:59I order.
03:00You order what?
03:01I ought to be a little more careful.
03:03Well, shut up and listen.
03:04Do you remember your Uncle Caleb?
03:05Do I, why that old tightwad heatsteel flies from a blind spider?
03:08But Shemp, he's a...
03:09He's a louse and a weasel.
03:10Yeah, well, he just died and left you 500,000 bucks.
03:13Just like that old skin flint.
03:16500,000 bucks!
03:18Poor old Uncle Caleb.
03:20Like I was saying, he was a swell guy.
03:22Give me the shirt off his back and throw in the buttons, too.
03:25But there's one little catch.
03:27You get the dough provided you're married.
03:28It's so...
03:30Married!
03:30No!
03:31No, fellas!
03:32I'm gonna faint!
03:34Oh!
03:36Or...
03:36Or what?
03:37If you get married within 48 hours of the reading of the will.
03:40What time was that?
03:41Six o'clock the night before last.
03:43You just got seven hours to get yourself a bride.
03:44It can't be done.
03:45No woman is interested in me.
03:47Maybe not, pal.
03:48But if you look real hard, you might find one that's interested in a half a million bucks.
03:52Maybe you got something there.
03:53You're darn right he has.
03:54Do you know any girls?
03:55I got a lot of numbers, but I haven't had much luck with them lately.
03:57Well, you can't get killed for trying.
03:58Where's the phone?
03:59There's a booth down the hall.
04:00What are we waiting for?
04:01Down the hall!
04:02I ran down the hall!
04:04Oh!
04:05Oh!
04:06Oh!
04:06Oh!
04:07Oh!
04:07Oh!
04:08Oh!
04:08That's six nickels.
04:09That makes 17.
04:10You ought to hit the jackpot with one of them.
04:11Go ahead.
04:21Give me Susquehanna 2-2-2-2.
04:27Say, he's been in there over an hour.
04:29What are you getting nervous about?
04:30When Shem pours on the charm, no dame can resist him.
04:32I hope you're right.
04:33Hello?
04:34Is this Ginger Gray?
04:36It is?
04:37Well, this is your little Snookums.
04:38I'm about to do you a big favor.
04:41Will you marry me?
04:42Oh!
04:43Oh!
04:45Oh!
04:46Oh!
04:47Hey!
04:48Any luck?
04:48I've got one phone number and one nickel left.
04:51Well, start using it.
04:54You clumsy ox, you.
04:56Where'd that go?
04:57It went down here someplace.
04:59Let's find it.
05:01Take it over that side.
05:02Let's go.
05:07Take this receiver.
05:08I got it.
05:09I got it.
05:11All right.
05:12Just take the...
05:12Wait a minute.
05:13Wait a minute.
05:13All right.
05:14Here, now wait.
05:15Get this out of the hair here.
05:17All right.
05:17All right.
05:18Easy, easy.
05:19Get off your foot.
05:20Look at what I got here.
05:21What is that?
05:22One of those...
05:23Yeah.
05:23Wait a minute.
05:23It leads around under my arm and up here around the neck.
05:27Get your hand out of me here.
05:29All right.
05:30All right.
05:30All right.
05:31Wait a minute.
05:35Can you dial from there?
05:37No.
05:37Can you?
05:38Yeah.
05:39Oh.
05:40Oh.
05:45Wait a minute.
05:46If I come around like this one...
05:49and get up in this one...
05:51How's that?
05:52Well, it don't feel as good as what I did this.
05:55Wait.
05:56Wait.
05:56Wait.
05:57Take it easy.
05:58Now, look.
05:59We ain't getting no place fast.
06:02Let's get this thing right.
06:03All right.
06:04Wait.
06:04You won't want to get this off.
06:05All right.
06:06Wait a minute.
06:07All right.
06:07You can't stand it anymore.
06:08It started with the book, didn't it?
06:13Moe!
06:14Where's your hat?
06:20How you doing?
06:26Get your hand out of my face.
06:28That ain't my hand.
06:28That's your hand.
06:29All right.
06:30You asked for it.
06:32Ow!
06:33Ow.
06:33Wait.
06:33Wait.
06:34Oh.
06:35Say, miss.
06:36Would you like to get married?
06:37What?
06:38Get married.
06:39Well, I don't know.
06:40But you are kind of cute at that.
06:42Oh, it's not me.
06:43It's him.
06:45Ow!
06:48You've got to get out of this.
06:49All right.
06:49There isn't much time left.
06:50You know that, don't you?
06:51All right.
06:55That's what I want to know.
07:00Wait a minute.
07:06Did you get a load of that?
07:07What did she?
07:08I wonder who she is.
07:09We'll soon find out.
07:11Oh, boy.
07:11Yes.
07:12Who's the new dame?
07:13A Miss Hopkins.
07:14Miss Hopkins?
07:15Did you hear that, kid?
07:16And good looking, too.
07:17Go get her, chef.
07:20Oh, wait a minute.
07:22You can't propose to a girl looking like that.
07:24We've got to give you the works.
07:25Come on.
07:32Stand still, will you?
07:33We've got to get going.
07:34It's 3 o'clock now.
07:35Yeah?
07:35And if you don't matter, girl, by 6 o'clock,
07:37we're out of the money.
07:41I said stand still.
07:44Oh.
07:45Oh, Mo.
07:46Mo.
07:46I'm blind.
07:47You're pointing my eye out.
07:48Get a towel, Mo.
07:49Get a towel.
07:50Oh.
07:51Oh.
07:51Oh, oh, oh.
07:53Hey, where are the towels?
07:54In the bottom drawer.
07:59I got it.
08:04You sure look funny with a bust of brown collar.
08:06Hold that.
08:08Oh.
08:11Where are you?
08:13Here.
08:15Say, I forgot to tell you.
08:17When the afternoon papers come out,
08:18you're going to be famous.
08:19How come?
08:20I gave the story to the reporters.
08:21Yes, sir.
08:22Shem Howard to inherit a half a million bucks.
08:24Let's get going, kid.
08:32I'll tell you to hold still now.
08:33I'm warning you.
08:34Oh, excuse me.
08:35I thought that was...
08:38I'll tell you.
08:39All stay out.
08:46Almost had seven years until I'd look.
08:56How do you like that?
09:02Oh, I said stand.
09:04Oh, oh, oh.
09:06Hey, I cut off my head.
09:07I cut off my head.
09:08Mo, my head is off.
09:09Mo, my head is off.
09:11My head is off.
09:14Oh, there I am.
09:15And as pretty as a picture.
09:17Yeah, but Nate, let's not get going here.
09:19This means half a million dollars.
09:21I know what it means.
09:24Here you are.
09:28Boy, am I tired.
09:29Why don't I throw this water?
09:32Oh.
09:35You look good.
09:35You look great, kid.
09:36You're a cinch.
09:37Go to it.
09:38Oh, my.
09:39Come on, come on.
09:56Hello.
09:57Oh, hello.
10:00Come in.
10:01Cousin Basil.
10:03Oh, I'm so happy to see you.
10:06I, I...
10:07I've just been dying to meet you.
10:09You're even cuter than that Sadie said you were.
10:15Oh, boy, success.
10:17Yeah, listen to those kisses.
10:22Cut it out.
10:24Oh, you must be exhausted after your long trip.
10:27Sit down.
10:28Let me look at you, Cousin Basil.
10:31Oh.
10:32Now, don't you go away.
10:36Yes, this is Miss Hopkins.
10:39Your cousin Basil?
10:41Well, then who is...
10:41I will just...
10:42How dare you pretend to be my cousin Basil?
10:44I'll teach you a thing or two.
10:46You won't.
10:47I won't.
10:48Don't you dare strike me.
10:49Who?
10:49She's taking advantage of a poor, wild, helpless woman.
10:53Boy, his kisses are getting louder.
10:54You, you, you horrible person, you...
11:00Get up, get up.
11:01What happened, kid?
11:03Can I help it if I ain't Cousin Basil?
11:05Oh, Professor, are you all right?
11:08Oh, I'm fine.
11:10All I wanted to do was propose, but...
11:12Propose?
11:13Oh, Professor, this is so sudden.
11:17You mean you'll really marry him?
11:18Oh, of course.
11:19He's my little old dreamboat.
11:22Your little dreamboat is sailing.
11:24Oh, wait a minute.
11:26You're going to sail away from a half a million bucks?
11:28We only got two hours left.
11:29Come on, get going.
11:30Come on.
11:36I'm right in, folks.
11:40Say, here's the license.
11:41My pal wants to get married in a rush.
11:43Oh, it's splendid.
11:44Oh, excuse me.
11:47Hello?
11:48Who?
11:49Mr. Howard.
11:50Yes, he's here.
11:52Hello?
11:53Yes?
11:54What?
11:55How many of them?
11:57Wow.
11:58Yeah, yeah.
11:58Okay, thanks.
12:00That was the clerk at the apartment.
12:02Those dames you phoned this morning found out about the 500 grand in the papers.
12:05Come on, pal.
12:06We've got to make this fast.
12:07Have you got the ring?
12:08Why, certainly.
12:10Certainly I got it.
12:11Oh.
12:12It went in the piano.
12:15Get it.
12:17You see anything?
12:18Yeah, wires.
12:21Listen, you.
12:22What?
12:22You know, I think the piano's out of tune.
12:24Come on.
12:26I think I see it.
12:29Look out.
12:30Get up.
12:31Get me out of here.
12:32My face.
12:33Oh.
12:34You want to spoil my looks?
12:35Impossible.
12:36Never mind your face and get that ring.
12:38It's a quarter of six.
12:42Oh.
12:43Oh, I'm awful.
12:44Sorry.
12:45So am I.
12:48Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
12:49Quit playing around in there and get that ring.
12:51Oh, oh, oh.
12:53Get me out of here.
12:54Get me out of here.
12:54Get me out of here.
12:55Dummy.
12:56All right.
12:58Oh, oh, oh.
12:59He's all tangled up with wires.
13:01All right.
13:01Well, back him up and let's break him out of here.
13:04Oh, my.
13:05Holy piano.
13:06Shut up.
13:08Hey.
13:08Sit him down.
13:09I've got no grip.
13:10Oh.
13:14Easy now.
13:15Wait.
13:15Get this stuff off.
13:16Oh, oh, oh.
13:17You get in the messes every time.
13:19Give me a round.
13:21I'm a few minutes left and no ring.
13:23No nothing.
13:24Wait a minute, fellas.
13:27Here's the ring.
13:28How do you like that?
13:29Get up.
13:30Okay, partner.
13:31We're ready for the kickoff.
13:33Join hands, you lovebirds.
13:39Wait a minute.
13:41Wait a minute.
13:42Who is this character?
13:45She's the bird.
13:46Oh, yeah?
13:47Not while I got my strength.
13:49Tell me, poodles.
13:49Didn't you propose to me?
13:50Yes, but I'm with you.
13:51Didn't you?
13:52Yes, but you tied me down.
13:53That was before I read the papers.
13:55Now I accept.
13:56Okay, tuts.
13:57Let her rip.
13:58Oh, hold on.
13:58Don't even propose to me, too.
13:59And then.
14:00What?
14:01Wait.
14:02Oh, wait.
14:03Look at that.
14:04We better do something fast.
14:05Yeah.
14:06Oh, you.
14:07Wait a minute.
14:09What's going on here?
14:10Oh, oh, oh.
14:11Oh.
14:12Oh, oh.
14:16Oh, lady.
14:17Oh, oh.
14:17Stop it, you little boy.
14:19Oh, no, bird.
14:20Oh, bird.
14:23Oh, bird.
14:25Oh, bird.
14:26Oh, bird.
14:26Bird, you're all moving.
14:27Oh, bird.
14:28Justice, please.
14:29Please.
14:29Yes, you're giving me.
14:31Hold hands, you lovebirds.
14:33Oh, bird.
14:35Oh, bird.
14:36Oh, bird.
14:37Oh, bird.
14:37Oh, bird.
14:52Wait a minute. You wouldn't hit a lady with that.
14:56Use this. It's bigger.
14:58Oh, please.
15:06Will you marry me?
15:08Never.
15:35I'm getting a headache.
15:36Oh, it's your headache.
15:37Oh, Larry, you're not supposed to stop it.
15:40Larry, hold still. Hold still.
15:43He's got a toll on her.
15:46Now what do you say?
15:47I give up on Marion.
15:50I'm saying there's anyone.
15:56Oh, Mr. Butler, please, please, hurry.
16:03Hold hands, you lovely bird.
16:10How are you?
16:12Oh, my God.
16:13I mean, how am I?
16:15Congratulations, both of you.
16:16Oh, thank you.
16:18We're married.
16:19We made it.
16:20It takes a clock and you're married.
16:21What happened?
16:22What happened?
16:23You're married.
16:23Kids, say something.
16:25Help!
16:26Help!
16:27Help!
16:27Help!
16:27Help!
16:27Help!
16:28Help!
16:28Help!
16:28Help!
16:28Help!
16:30Help!
16:32Help!
16:32Help!
16:32The End