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Film Gorillas
  • 12 years ago
29000 Wishes. 1 Regret. (2012)
Not Rated/Drama (2012) 88 minutes ~ Color

Twenty-somethings Kevin and Jennifer had the perfect lives, and nothing was going to change that... Or so they thought. When they met in college, they planned on being the next power couple. Both graduated at the top of the class, and went onto successful careers. They spoiled themselves with lavish trips to exotic locales, expensive meals, and other decadent treats. Then, the economy collapsed, and the couple lost their jobs. Life went downhill fast as they drained their savings, racked up debt, and finally lost their home. Flash forward one year later. Kevin and Jennifer live in the slums, surviving on their dwindling savings. The one time up and coming couple occupy their time by searching online employment ads and futilely searching for work. The couple languishes in their studio apartment, growing distant from each other. Jennifer escapes to far off virtual lands, playing online games. Kevin lives vicariously through his lecherous single pal Brian who texts his buddy with graphic details of his sexual exploits. Then... Jennifer presents the notion of creating a secret suicide pact: They should live like the old days when they had means. The solution. Max out their credit cards and then kill themselves when they run out of credit to spend. They both agree to execute the plan. Kevin and Jennifer capture their adventures in a self-made video log as they return to a life of decadence. Now, will Kevin and Jennifer really go through with their suicide pact when the borrowed money runs out?

Director: Oliver Robins

Writer: Oliver Robins

Stars: Justus Zimmerman, Casey Ruggieri and Nick Caballero
Transcript
00:00:00Welcome to the new Alpern home.
00:00:03This is our foyer, sort of, foyer number three.
00:00:07Fireplace, beautiful view of the downtown.
00:00:11Did you sketch, did you get that?
00:00:13Good.
00:00:19You thought of everything.
00:00:20I hid candles.
00:00:21Jennifer Alpern, you are such a romantic.
00:00:24Jennifer, I didn't mean to.
00:00:27Jennifer Alpern, you are such a romantic.
00:00:29Jennifer, I just measured it.
00:00:30We totally have room for a billiard table.
00:00:32Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:00:33Come on.
00:00:34No.
00:00:35First of all, I am a pool shark.
00:00:37You know, I'll kill you.
00:00:38You're a pool shark, but you don't play billiards.
00:00:40I can't believe you found that.
00:00:41I put it in the garage in a tiny box in the corner.
00:00:44I was cold.
00:00:45Honey, you've had that sweater since college.
00:00:48It's gross.
00:00:49It has holes in it.
00:00:50It smells like old beer.
00:00:52This is quality.
00:00:53Kevin, if you take off that sweater,
00:00:56I will make love to you in every room in this house,
00:01:00starting right here.
00:01:03That's so itchy.
00:01:05Turn to your left 90 degrees.
00:01:08Open your eyes.
00:01:11What is it?
00:01:12What do you think?
00:01:14What is it?
00:01:15Kiss me.
00:01:20Hi, I'm Jennifer Alpern.
00:01:22And I'm Kevin Alpern.
00:01:24And if you're watching this, then we're not here anymore.
00:01:27That sounds really dramatic.
00:01:29Try it again.
00:01:30Hi, I'm Jennifer.
00:01:31This is Kevin, and we're here to tell you how we spent
00:01:34the last four months of our lives.
00:01:36You probably already know this,
00:01:37but we both lost our jobs about a year or so ago.
00:01:39Yeah, and things went downhill really fast.
00:01:42And then Jennifer had this brilliant idea.
00:01:44Yeah.
00:01:45If we're going downhill anyway,
00:01:46why not be the masters of our own fate
00:01:48and decide when and how we're going to go under?
00:01:51We have about $29,000 left in credit card lines to spend.
00:01:56That's kind of what we want when we want.
00:01:58Yeah, do all the things that we wanted to do,
00:02:00but now, due to the circumstances, can't do.
00:02:03So here we are kind of documenting our adventures for you.
00:02:08Do you have anything else to say?
00:02:09No.
00:02:11I do miss everyone.
00:02:14Just know that we had a really great time
00:02:15these last few months.
00:02:16Yeah.
00:02:17Oh, and I love you, sis.
00:02:21I know we haven't talked in a long time,
00:02:23but I just want you to know I thought about you every day.
00:02:29I'll shut it off now.
00:02:33You come clean and cause a scene
00:02:48My diary writes it's all lies
00:03:03Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
00:03:26Who do you think you are?
00:03:31Lighting this place with dark
00:03:35My time is meant for play
00:03:39You have a better way
00:03:46That bad, huh?
00:03:49Can you say hell?
00:03:51I don't even see what the point is.
00:03:53Hundreds of us, hundreds crammed into this little room,
00:03:56and the looks on everyone's faces just said it all.
00:03:58Take me. I'll be your slave.
00:03:59I'll work for next to nothing.
00:04:01Pathetic.
00:04:02You'll get it. I can feel it.
00:04:04No, I won't.
00:04:06I didn't pass my CPI.
00:04:08Your what?
00:04:09Critical Personality Inventory Exam.
00:04:13It's an exam they invented to test whether
00:04:15your corporate policy gels with you
00:04:17or your personality gels with them.
00:04:20They test your big five, your consciousness,
00:04:22your stability, your openness,
00:04:24agreeableness, your extroversion.
00:04:30Brian's always in trouble.
00:04:32He thinks his new girlfriend of two months is pregnant.
00:04:34What would Brian do without your advice?
00:04:36I am his best friend.
00:04:37It seems like you're his only friend.
00:04:38It's kind of my duty to be there for him.
00:04:40He's going through a tough time.
00:04:41Hello.
00:04:43Well, you're a good guy, Kevin.
00:04:46You know, if you shut off your cell phone,
00:04:47we could save 60 a month.
00:04:49Never.
00:04:50I'm that last link to my old life
00:04:51when I was a mover and shaker.
00:04:52Old habits die hard.
00:04:59So what's for dinner?
00:05:04Boston baked beans.
00:05:07Oh, good.
00:05:08I like beans.
00:05:09Nothing more nutritious than beans.
00:05:10They're low in protein.
00:05:13Oh, I have a surprise.
00:05:14Did we win the lotto?
00:05:15Jackpot's up to 62.5 million.
00:05:17No, close.
00:05:18I just got my last unemployment check.
00:05:21Oh, good.
00:05:22Time to cut loose and celebrate.
00:05:23No, it's time to make the money last.
00:05:26There's always food stamps.
00:05:27Or the place we donated the turkey.
00:05:29The food bank.
00:05:30Yeah.
00:05:31Or maybe we'll get jobs.
00:05:33I sent my resume to over 100 companies.
00:05:35Something's got to give.
00:05:36Maybe we should just go to the store.
00:05:37No, let's order takeout.
00:05:39No.
00:05:40No, we can't.
00:05:41Kevin, that's like over $20 plus a tip.
00:05:43No.
00:05:44We can just get cheese.
00:05:45I can live without toppings, without pepperoni,
00:05:47not mushrooms.
00:05:48Mushrooms are a line in the sand.
00:05:49That's non-negotiable.
00:05:50Kevin, we only have $591.62 to last us an infinite amount of time.
00:05:54We're not getting takeout.
00:05:56We're not going out to eat.
00:06:00Oh, and there was a 50-cent-off pack of 12-pack of tuna.
00:06:04Done.
00:06:05I swore in college I would never eat ramen again.
00:06:08I worked hard enough.
00:06:09I eat the good stuff.
00:06:10Is there a reason why you torture us?
00:06:12How's that?
00:06:13You go on and on about how things used to be.
00:06:16It's getting old.
00:06:17I'm sorry.
00:06:18I'm sorry I'm remembering a better period in our lives.
00:06:20No, you're complaining.
00:06:22You know, triple complaining is my way of remembering better times.
00:06:26Yeah, I'm not having this conversation again.
00:06:30Oh, Brian again.
00:06:33What would he do without your brotherly advice?
00:06:36I have no idea.
00:06:39Hey, remember our old market where we used to buy choices?
00:06:42Like goats.
00:06:44And not just goats.
00:06:45Kimber, Rockfoot.
00:06:47And you could choose what country it came from.
00:06:49And then the region from that country.
00:06:51Are you done?
00:06:52Sorry.
00:06:53I won't reminisce anymore.
00:06:54I'm bad.
00:06:55Hi, Mom.
00:06:56Hi, dear.
00:06:57How are the two of you doing?
00:06:58Doing okay.
00:06:59How's Kevin's job hunt progressing?
00:07:01I don't know.
00:07:02I don't know.
00:07:03I don't know.
00:07:04I don't know.
00:07:05I don't know.
00:07:06How's Kevin's job hunt progressing?
00:07:08I don't know.
00:07:09Let me ask him.
00:07:10My mom wants to know how the job hunt's coming.
00:07:12I hope he hasn't given up.
00:07:14Tell him winners win.
00:07:16My mom says don't give up.
00:07:17Winners win.
00:07:18I bet she does.
00:07:19I just hope he's still looking.
00:07:21Yeah, Mom.
00:07:22He's looking every day.
00:07:23We both are.
00:07:25It's just hard.
00:07:26No one's hiring right now.
00:07:27He needs to pound the pavement.
00:07:29Mom, he is.
00:07:30Are you both coming home for Thanksgiving?
00:07:32Yes, we are coming home for Thanksgiving.
00:07:34I just don't see why someone won't hire him.
00:07:37He's such a smart boy.
00:07:39Such a talented architect.
00:07:42Mom, can I call you back?
00:07:44Okay.
00:07:47You're silly.
00:07:48Isn't that why you married me?
00:07:50Maybe.
00:07:52You made a mess.
00:07:53I know.
00:07:54We better go before they pay for it.
00:07:55No.
00:07:56What is that anyway?
00:07:57It's gelatin.
00:07:58It's Mexican gelatin.
00:07:59It's jalapeno gelatin with queso.
00:08:02What else do we need?
00:08:03I don't know.
00:08:04I got the peanut butter and the beans.
00:08:05You ready?
00:08:08Tuna.
00:08:09Good call.
00:08:10You were so on it.
00:08:11Your favorite.
00:08:12Mmm.
00:08:13Cilantro.
00:08:18It's like knives.
00:08:19I love cilantro.
00:08:20I know.
00:08:21We had tears like streams they run.
00:08:25Don't let sadness stop in the fun.
00:08:30Why can't you let me go?
00:08:39Honest love don't last at all.
00:08:44Honest love just makes me crawl.
00:08:49Honest love makes me go out of my mind.
00:09:06You growing a beard?
00:09:08My new plan is to shave every four days.
00:09:11That way I can save on razors and shaving cream.
00:09:14Do you know that each of those razors are like two dollars?
00:09:16I never realized what a roof off was.
00:09:19Well, I think it's sexy.
00:09:30Do you still love me?
00:09:32Of course I do.
00:09:35Then say it.
00:09:37I don't have to say it.
00:09:39I've never said it.
00:09:43Would I still be with you if I didn't love you?
00:09:45What choice would you have?
00:09:47I could move out.
00:09:48And go where?
00:09:51I don't know, the car?
00:09:53That's my point.
00:09:56I feel like we're together because we have to be together,
00:09:58not because we want to be together.
00:10:00Even when we had everything, I was still with you.
00:10:04Then say it.
00:10:07Even though I don't say it, I just show it.
00:10:10My mother always told my father she loved him,
00:10:13and then they got divorced,
00:10:14and then he remarried Marilyn, his trophy wife,
00:10:16and it didn't matter, they said it.
00:10:18Well, if it means absolutely nothing, then just say it.
00:10:21Why are we having this conversation now?
00:10:23We're married.
00:10:24Because it's important now, okay?
00:10:26I just...
00:10:28need it.
00:10:31I love you, all right?
00:10:33Yeah.
00:10:39Yeah.
00:10:47Okay.
00:10:51Amazing how that guy can interrupt every moment we have.
00:10:54It's like he has relationship sabotage.
00:11:00You know what? It's a nice day.
00:11:02I'm gonna walk home.
00:11:12Are you mad at me?
00:11:14No, I'm not mad.
00:11:16Just sad, I guess.
00:11:18Don't you think I'm sad, too?
00:11:20Not for the same reasons.
00:11:27I miss driving our car.
00:11:29I thought we weren't allowed to get nostalgia.
00:11:31It says bad.
00:11:33I'm allowed to be a little misty once in a while.
00:11:39I kind of like it.
00:11:41I mean, we used to drive everywhere.
00:11:43We never got to see anything.
00:11:45It really opens your eyes up.
00:11:46Yeah.
00:11:47I don't know if I want to see everything.
00:11:50I like living in my own ignorant little world.
00:12:03I'm excited for sandwiches.
00:12:06You have the keys?
00:12:07Yeah.
00:12:12You always were a terrific chef.
00:12:14No, you're sweet.
00:12:16And a bad liar.
00:12:20Huh?
00:12:22I thought we were saving that for a special occasion.
00:12:24Well, you were.
00:12:26We might be waiting a long time, so...
00:12:30What are we toasting to?
00:12:33I don't know.
00:12:36Let's try something.
00:12:38Let's try something.
00:12:40During this entire meal, no one can say anything negative.
00:12:43This is going to be a happy, pleasant meal.
00:12:46Done.
00:12:47And if whoever talks negatively loses and has to finish this for a week.
00:12:52I'm going to make it two weeks.
00:12:54Three weeks.
00:12:55A month.
00:12:56Until spring.
00:12:58Works with me.
00:13:01You know, Kevin, I was thinking.
00:13:03This meal out would have cost us $32 at least.
00:13:06Not to mention the drinks, which would have been at least $10.
00:13:08Yeah, so that's like $42 with tax and tip.
00:13:11Maybe even $45.
00:13:12And for what?
00:13:14Bread that costs $0.10 a slice?
00:13:17I mean, $0.89 a can of tuna?
00:13:19$0.02 worth of mayo?
00:13:21That's like $0.50 a sandwich.
00:13:23That's over a $32 savings.
00:13:25I love tuna.
00:13:27Add a little mayo, relish, celery.
00:13:29It's foodie paradise.
00:13:31Where would we be without peanut butter and tuna fish?
00:13:34Empires were built on these staples.
00:13:36You lose.
00:13:37How's that?
00:13:38You were complaining.
00:13:40Oh, I would like to repeal this ruling.
00:13:43Do you like sex?
00:13:45Oh, that's not fair.
00:13:46You can't use sex as a bargaining chip.
00:13:48Oh.
00:13:50Okay, maybe you can, but that's just not fair.
00:13:53Okay.
00:13:54Maybe I'll consider reducing your sentence to one week.
00:13:58If you work for it.
00:14:02Tell me you love me.
00:14:05Oh, we're back on that again.
00:14:07No, we're not on it.
00:14:10Well, then I only have one question for you.
00:14:13Which type of dishwashing soap do you prefer?
00:14:16Make sure you wash those really good.
00:14:18I'm greasing some of them.
00:14:20Okay.
00:14:24Oh.
00:14:29Is it Brian?
00:14:30I can take care of him.
00:14:31Come on.
00:14:32You are a troublemaker.
00:14:35Looks like he's off the hook.
00:14:36Hillary doesn't have a bun in the oven.
00:14:38She dumped him.
00:14:39Great.
00:14:40I'm so happy for him.
00:14:42I won two tickets to Paris.
00:14:45You mean virtual tickets?
00:14:47My sorority nominated me to go, and I got a new pet.
00:14:50Her name is Tattles.
00:14:52She's coming with me.
00:14:54Is this your way of saying you want a cat?
00:14:56Oh, I'm going to the south of France
00:14:58with my new boyfriend, Henri.
00:15:01Can I come, too?
00:15:03Dumb question, Jen.
00:15:05What joy do you get in going to places that aren't real?
00:15:08The south of France is very real.
00:15:11Not to us.
00:15:14I'm not having this conversation.
00:15:16You never want to talk about it.
00:15:20Talk about what exactly?
00:15:22Our situation.
00:15:24Look, I was just reading in psychology.com
00:15:26that if you talk about your problems
00:15:27and get them out in the open,
00:15:29you're more apt to be a happier, healthier person
00:15:32than holding it inside,
00:15:33and that it's important for couples
00:15:35to have tough conversations,
00:15:37even if it causes friction between those you love.
00:15:40Do you really believe any of that B.S.?
00:15:42I mean, the individual who wrote that
00:15:44is obviously under some deadline to generate content
00:15:47so he doesn't lose his job
00:15:48and the life he worked so hard for
00:15:50and end up like us.
00:15:52That's exactly my point.
00:15:53We're holding on to all this anger,
00:15:54and it's making us depressed.
00:15:56Holding things inside is not what's making me depressed.
00:16:01It's living like this that's making me depressed.
00:16:04It's...
00:16:06Well, we lost our house,
00:16:07and we can't even get jobs,
00:16:09and I don't even think we could get arrested
00:16:10if we wanted to.
00:16:11Oh, I could get arrested.
00:16:12That wouldn't be tough.
00:16:13You see what I'm saying?
00:16:14You said you wanted to have a serious conversation,
00:16:16and you're just making jokes.
00:16:17Well, what am I supposed to do?
00:16:19Talk about it.
00:16:20Maybe making jokes is my way of venting.
00:16:22I think if I were to admit
00:16:24that our lives are going downhill,
00:16:26I wouldn't be able to cope.
00:16:27And now you're being defensive.
00:16:28I'm not being defensive,
00:16:30and I do want to talk about it.
00:16:32No, you don't want to talk about it,
00:16:34because if you did want to talk about it,
00:16:36we'd talk about it.
00:16:38Okay, so talk about it now.
00:16:41I can't just do it on command.
00:16:44Yeah.
00:16:47Where are you going?
00:16:49Out.
00:16:51Hey, where is out exactly?
00:16:55Jen, are you really going?
00:16:58Oh!
00:17:29I'm not going to jump, are you?
00:17:33I miss all the fun we've been having.
00:17:38I was thinking about it.
00:17:42Can we go together?
00:17:45Like a suicide pact?
00:17:48Yeah.
00:17:51I don't know.
00:17:54Can we go together?
00:17:57Like a suicide pact?
00:18:00Well, I wouldn't want to live without you.
00:18:04You'd get over me?
00:18:06On a bet.
00:18:10Guess there's only one way to find out.
00:18:15Think we'd die on impact or in the air?
00:18:18We're not high enough to die midair.
00:18:20It would be on the splat.
00:18:22The splat?
00:18:23Yeah, when we hit the concrete.
00:18:25Is that, like, an official term?
00:18:27No, I made it up.
00:18:32That would be gross.
00:18:35Yeah, bloody.
00:18:38Body parts.
00:18:40Everywhere.
00:18:42Besides, I want an open casket.
00:18:44If we end up, we're going to have to do it some other way.
00:18:47Sleeping pills.
00:18:49Not effective.
00:18:50I've seen people ending up in comas.
00:18:53Gunshot to the temple?
00:18:56To the temple or the mouth.
00:18:59Because you might survive, and then you're just a glorified vegetable.
00:19:15I want chips and salsa.
00:19:19That we can manage.
00:19:27What would happen if you lived and I died?
00:19:30Or the other way around.
00:19:32If we go, we should make sure to go together.
00:19:36Yeah.
00:20:12I don't know.
00:20:15I don't know.
00:20:18And we forget the time.
00:20:39I don't know, let's come over me.
00:20:43Somehow I know that it's gonna be.
00:20:47Spinning round, but I gotta say.
00:20:51I look forward to that special day.
00:20:56When you smile at me.
00:21:00When you smile at me.
00:21:17Hey.
00:21:22Hey.
00:21:25I think I figured it out.
00:21:26Yeah?
00:21:27Yeah.
00:21:28Remember that trip we wanted to take to Paris?
00:21:30Uh-huh.
00:21:31We'll take it.
00:21:34We're going to do everything that we wanted to do.
00:21:36We're going to eat when we want to eat.
00:21:37We're going to do what we want to do.
00:21:39Live high on the hog, no holds barred.
00:21:41Sounds great.
00:21:42Do we win the lottery?
00:21:43Not exactly.
00:21:45Okay, listen.
00:21:47We have $29,000 left on our cards.
00:21:50We're going to spend it.
00:21:52We're going to do all the things we want to do,
00:21:54live the life we were supposed to live
00:21:55before this crap happened to us and we ended up here.
00:21:58We're just going to enjoy ourselves.
00:22:00Okay, I thought that we were saving the credit, though,
00:22:02for when we actually ran out of money and needed to live.
00:22:05We were.
00:22:07But I made one small adjustment to the model.
00:22:10The original plan would have only delayed the inevitable.
00:22:12I mean, those cards would have bought us
00:22:138 months, 10 months tops.
00:22:15And I'm being generous.
00:22:16I won't argue with you.
00:22:17You're our financial guru.
00:22:19So how do you pay it back?
00:22:21We don't.
00:22:23I'm confused.
00:22:25We're not going to pay it back because we don't have to.
00:22:28I'm missing something.
00:22:30It's not like they're going to give us free money.
00:22:32Actually, they kind of are.
00:22:34Just hear me out, okay?
00:22:35Do you like your life the way it is now?
00:22:38No, but...
00:22:39Do you think it's going to get better?
00:22:40I don't know.
00:22:41It's not.
00:22:42It won't.
00:22:43I ran the numbers, okay?
00:22:44We're not going to be out of debt until we're, like, over 55.
00:22:46And that's if we can find work.
00:22:48And that's the best-case scenario.
00:22:49Don't ask me about the worst.
00:22:51There's no emotion in this, Kevin.
00:23:14It's all facts.
00:23:16This could be the only chance we have
00:23:18at the life we wanted for ourselves.
00:23:20Are you serious?
00:23:22Yes, I'm serious.
00:23:24I've never been more serious in my life.
00:23:26This is crazy.
00:23:28What's crazier?
00:23:30Living a wonderful six months with the person you love
00:23:33or living a lifetime of toil and fear and...
00:23:39I know what I'm going for.
00:23:42Maybe we should think about this a little bit more.
00:23:44I don't need to think about it anymore.
00:23:47I've been thinking about it for months.
00:23:51So you're just going to go ahead and do it,
00:23:53whether I'm in or not?
00:23:55I'm just telling you what I want for myself.
00:23:57Maybe you should go see a therapist.
00:24:01I don't need a therapist, Kevin.
00:24:04A therapist isn't going to help our financial situation.
00:24:07And it's easy for the doctor to say,
00:24:09do you be content because he is going to go home
00:24:11to his beautiful suburban home with his white picket fence,
00:24:13which our health insurance helps pay for, by the way.
00:24:16And that's up at the end of the month.
00:24:18So that's great.
00:24:21I just think there has to be a better way.
00:24:24You know, I'm miserable, too.
00:24:26I hate what we're experiencing, but I just...
00:24:28I think there has to be some hope.
00:24:33Hope is just a word that people use
00:24:35so they don't have to deal with the cold, hard facts
00:24:37of the situation.
00:24:40Kevin, I...
00:24:44It's the logical decision.
00:24:47I can't, Jennifer.
00:24:50Fine. Great.
00:24:53Then I'll leave you with half the credit cards, okay?
00:24:55You'll have a little less than four months left.
00:24:57Now, where are you going?
00:24:59Out.
00:25:10♪
00:25:41How'd I know I could find you here?
00:25:44I splurged.
00:25:46Caramel macchiato, $3.75.
00:25:49Sometimes you gotta live.
00:25:58Can we go to Vegas?
00:26:00We always had a blast there.
00:26:04Does this mean you want to end it with me?
00:26:09I don't know.
00:26:12What don't you know?
00:26:14I don't want to live the life that we planned without you.
00:26:19I'd rather have six months with you
00:26:21than spend a lifetime wondering what those last six months
00:26:23would have been like.
00:26:26I love you, Mike.
00:26:29Even though we're gonna off each other.
00:26:32That's something that's pretty weird.
00:26:35How are we gonna do it, anyway?
00:26:37Like, who goes first?
00:26:39Uh, we'll figure that out later.
00:26:42Yeah, just a minor detail, huh?
00:26:52So we're gonna keep a video log of what we're planning to do
00:26:55so our friends and family don't think we decided to do this randomly.
00:26:58I love how you have it all figured out.
00:27:01Just doing what makes sense. It's logical.
00:27:04Finding what seems logical today.
00:27:07Yeah.
00:27:10Come on.
00:27:13Is it on?
00:27:14How do I know?
00:27:15The red light needs to be flashing.
00:27:17And we're recording.
00:27:19Okay.
00:27:21Hi, I'm Jennifer Alpern.
00:27:23And I'm Kevin Alpern.
00:27:25And if you're watching this, then we're not here anymore.
00:27:28That sounds dramatic.
00:27:30Um...
00:27:32Hi, I'm Jennifer. This is Kevin.
00:27:34And we're here to tell you how we spent the last four months of our lives.
00:27:38You probably already know this, but we both lost our jobs about a year or so ago.
00:27:41Yeah, and things went downhill really fast.
00:27:44But then Jennifer had this brilliant idea.
00:27:46Yeah. If we're going downhill anyway, why not be the masters of our fate
00:27:49and decide when and how we go under?
00:27:52We have about $29,000 left in credit card lines to spend.
00:27:56Spend what we want, when we want.
00:27:58Yeah. Do all the things we wanted to do,
00:28:00given the circumstances, won't get a chance to.
00:28:03So here we are, kind of documenting our adventures for you.
00:28:06Anything else to say?
00:28:08No.
00:28:10Um, I do miss everyone.
00:28:13Just know that we had a really great time these last few months.
00:28:16Oh, and I love you, sis.
00:28:19I know we haven't talked in a while,
00:28:21but I just want you to know I thought about you every day.
00:28:25You should probably shut it off now.
00:28:40So, now that we are free, we have to figure out what to do.
00:28:44Uh-huh.
00:28:46Talk to Frank.
00:28:48Yes.
00:28:50You just want to sit topless beaches again.
00:28:52I appreciate French art.
00:28:53Uh-huh, right.
00:28:55Well, your turn then.
00:28:57Africa.
00:28:58I've always wanted to see the lion and its natural habitat.
00:29:00Yeah, you have big bugs there. That's not high on my list.
00:29:02Come on.
00:29:04Of course you're on carriage rides in New York City.
00:29:06That's touristy.
00:29:07Oh, and going on safari isn't.
00:29:09Come on.
00:29:10African safari qualifies as exotic.
00:29:12Carriage ride is generic.
00:29:14All right, Mr. Travel Guide,
00:29:16what is the ultimate experience you could think of doing
00:29:18that we haven't thought of yet?
00:29:20I want to stay on the space station.
00:29:21Yeah.
00:29:22It's a little bit out of our budget.
00:29:24A little.
00:29:25Okay.
00:29:26Uh, Dodger ticket.
00:29:27Fox seats.
00:29:28Yeah.
00:29:29We can do that.
00:29:32Caribbean.
00:29:33British Virgin Islands.
00:29:35I want to walk on the white sand.
00:29:37And I just want to feel the sand in my hands
00:29:39and you and the sun and the sky.
00:29:47I want to drive fast.
00:29:49Okay.
00:29:50Remember that Formula One racing school we talked about?
00:29:52We can both race Porsches on the track.
00:29:54Yeah.
00:29:55I would do that.
00:29:56I would totally do that.
00:29:57I thought you were afraid of high speeds.
00:29:59What's the worst that could happen?
00:30:01Okay, fair enough.
00:30:03Maybe we make that one of the last things we do.
00:30:05Just in case it doesn't, you know, go as planned.
00:30:09Yeah.
00:30:11I want to go on a hot air balloon ride.
00:30:14And drink really expensive champagne.
00:30:16Like, ridiculously expensive.
00:30:18That sounds fantastic.
00:30:19Yeah.
00:30:20Dangle grapes in each other's mouths.
00:30:23Yeah.
00:30:24Sure.
00:30:25It's an image I've always wanted to make happen.
00:30:28So we're really going to do this now?
00:30:31I'm ready.
00:30:32Ready?
00:30:33Mm-hmm.
00:30:50I'm working
00:30:54Briefly
00:30:58On a Saturday
00:31:02Dreaming
00:31:14What you feel
00:31:17What you feel, love
00:31:21I wouldn't say so
00:31:32I feel kind of free.
00:31:33Is that strange?
00:31:34No.
00:31:35No, it's a relief, kind of, to know we can do whatever we want.
00:31:38Mm-hmm.
00:31:39You know, play and make up the rules.
00:31:41We need rules.
00:31:42Good point.
00:31:47You give your whole life thinking that you need to work and make a living.
00:31:52Yeah.
00:31:53Yeah.
00:31:54Yeah, and then there's some big payoff at the end.
00:31:56Mm-hmm.
00:31:57Golden years retirement.
00:31:58Yeah.
00:32:02What's the one thing you would have done
00:32:04if you didn't think it was a responsible thing to do?
00:32:07It's been so long since I've done anything irresponsible.
00:32:11I don't know.
00:32:12Well, what are you feeling right now?
00:32:16I want to stay in an outrageously expensive hotel on the beach.
00:32:20The kind of place you have to take it alone to pay the bill.
00:32:22Yeah.
00:32:23Yeah, the place where they put the little chocolates on the table.
00:32:25Mm-hmm.
00:32:26And all the toiletries you could ever need in the bathroom.
00:32:27Yeah.
00:32:28The fuzzy bathroom.
00:32:29And order room service.
00:32:30Everything on the menu.
00:32:31Yes, yes, yes.
00:32:32Even the expensive cheese plate.
00:32:33And the wine that's really expensive, but not that good, but really expensive.
00:32:35And eat everything in the little fridge.
00:32:36Yes, and not care what you got.
00:32:40I want to see you in that expensive hotel for the next week.
00:32:44Okay.
00:33:00Don't forget to bring your swimming trunks, because we need those.
00:33:04I'm thinking we take that pool naked.
00:33:07I'm sure their curiosity won't go any further than that.
00:33:10Exactly.
00:33:11Why don't we have everything in line?
00:33:13Oh, I can't wait to eat at the restaurant there.
00:33:15You hungry?
00:33:16Five stars.
00:33:17Pretty hungry.
00:33:18I'll be really hungry by the time we get there.
00:33:20Hey.
00:33:21What?
00:33:22Let's have you wear your Ace hat today.
00:33:23I don't like the Ace.
00:33:24You do too.
00:33:25I hate the Ace.
00:33:26Everyone loves the Ace.
00:33:27Really?
00:33:28Thank you so much.
00:33:30Um, can I please bring my linen pants?
00:33:32You have to bring linen pants.
00:33:33We're pretending it's summer.
00:33:34Oh, my gosh.
00:33:35This is going to be awesome.
00:33:36And my white shoes.
00:33:37Yours do suck, too.
00:33:38Fuck them.
00:33:39Yeah.
00:33:40I don't know.
00:33:41I think we made that pretty good.
00:33:42I'm in a fruity drink mood.
00:33:43You know?
00:33:44Yeah.
00:33:54You okay?
00:33:55Yeah.
00:33:56Too heavy.
00:33:57You don't need too much.
00:33:58Pool time?
00:33:59Yeah.
00:34:00A pool party?
00:34:01Actually, I think it was over there.
00:34:02I'm going to miss it.
00:34:03Even if it's only for a little while.
00:34:05The roaches?
00:34:06The strange clanging noise at two in the morning?
00:34:08Don't forget our landlady, Ms. Volker.
00:34:11She has the demeanor of a prison warden.
00:34:13Yeah, I know.
00:34:15Let's not wait around here.
00:34:17Let's get out of here.
00:34:20I have a five-star restaurant here.
00:34:22Oh, yeah?
00:34:23Yes.
00:34:24Would you like to eat there?
00:34:25I would.
00:34:26All right.
00:34:27Immediately?
00:34:28Or do you...
00:34:29Can we take...
00:34:30We can check in.
00:34:31Can we check in?
00:34:36We're home.
00:34:40Pretty good.
00:34:41Not bad.
00:34:51Cheers.
00:34:52Cheers.
00:35:03So, Kevin, how are you feeling right now?
00:35:06I like being on vacation.
00:35:08Is there an apartment?
00:35:09Dog missed the pound?
00:35:12All right, my turn.
00:35:13Hand it over.
00:35:22I think we made the right decision.
00:35:25Definitely.
00:35:26Most outrageously priced hotel in the city.
00:35:28Where else can you get that $10 a bar of chocolate?
00:35:31I meant about us.
00:35:34Definitely.
00:35:35No regrets.
00:35:38I get to spend some quality time with the person I care about the most.
00:35:42And that's more than most people get in their lives, right?
00:35:45We can grow old and miserable alone, probably,
00:35:48because one of us will go first.
00:35:50Penniless.
00:35:52Or we can be in control of how and when we live.
00:35:56Isn't that what most people want?
00:35:59And what's that?
00:36:01To spend the last moments of your life with the person that you love.
00:36:06So what's next?
00:36:09Sushi.
00:36:11I want lots and lots of expensive raw fish.
00:36:14Okay.
00:36:15I'm talking about good stuff.
00:36:16None of that bargain sushi.
00:36:17Let's do it.
00:36:18I just want to order everything.
00:36:19Everything.
00:36:20And not even worry about the cost.
00:36:21I want to get some of the ultra-overpriced...
00:36:23Toro.
00:36:24Toro.
00:36:25I love that.
00:36:26Okay.
00:36:27Really?
00:36:28Yes.
00:36:29We're playing by our own rules now.
00:36:30So we're really doing this?
00:36:35Oh, boy.
00:36:36Anything wrong?
00:36:37Oh, Brian is...
00:36:39You know what?
00:36:40I don't want to know.
00:36:41Just...
00:36:43Let's just go get some raw fish.
00:36:45Okay.
00:36:46I'm starving, actually.
00:36:48Finish this drink.
00:36:49And then we'll go sushi.
00:36:50Cop in the pool?
00:36:52Okay.
00:36:53Who's first?
00:36:54I'll show you my California roll.
00:36:57Let's check out this pool.
00:36:58Here, give me that.
00:37:00Let me hold your drink.
00:37:03Wait.
00:37:04It's good, isn't it?
00:37:05It does.
00:37:10I had to do it.
00:37:11I'm sorry.
00:37:13Is it warm?
00:37:17Do you want me to do it?
00:37:18I don't know.
00:37:19I have to test it first.
00:37:20Down here.
00:37:23Don't.
00:37:24Get away.
00:37:25Get away.
00:37:31It's nice, isn't it?
00:37:32Yeah, it is, actually.
00:38:02It's good, isn't it?
00:38:03Yeah, it is.
00:38:33It's good, isn't it?
00:38:42It's been so long since I've had salmon.
00:38:45It's so good.
00:38:47I want to save this moment.
00:38:51No, don't.
00:38:56Everyone's going to think I'm a pig.
00:38:58Turn it off.
00:38:59We love to watch you eat.
00:39:00Bite me.
00:39:02So, how was the sushi meal?
00:39:05Good, considering the last six months
00:39:07all we've had is peanut butter and canned tuna.
00:39:11It's amazing.
00:39:16What's wrong?
00:39:18Nothing's wrong.
00:39:19Turn it off.
00:39:20What?
00:39:20Turn it off.
00:39:22What is it?
00:39:24We haven't had this happy in a long time.
00:39:32Remember last time we were at this exact counter?
00:39:35Yeah.
00:39:36Celebrating my first commission as an architect.
00:39:38I designed an outdoor playground.
00:39:39Yeah, I remember.
00:39:40You got your promotion after that.
00:39:42And we used bonuses of the money
00:39:43for a down payment on the house.
00:39:45Yeah.
00:39:46We had some great times there.
00:39:50Wasn't this about stuffing ourselves with raw fish
00:39:53until we burst?
00:39:54So, let's do that.
00:39:56What else are we getting?
00:39:58Everything.
00:39:59Everything.
00:39:59We're at the beginning.
00:40:01Yes.
00:40:03That was good.
00:40:05Oh, was Brian the only one that texted you?
00:40:07He was the only one of our friends
00:40:08that didn't mind we're in the poorhouse.
00:40:10I guess I give him credit for that.
00:40:13We should have done that a long time ago.
00:40:16We always have the best ideas.
00:40:20I think I overdid it, though.
00:40:22That last tuna hand roll put me over the edge.
00:40:25It was good, though.
00:40:25I'm losing my physique.
00:40:28You can see the tuna roll.
00:40:31I want shoes.
00:40:32Designer shoes.
00:40:34Robertson Boulevard.
00:40:35Robertson Boulevard?
00:40:37Jennifer is in it.
00:40:40I like that coat.
00:40:41That would look good on you.
00:40:42Yeah?
00:40:43Ooh, but I like that one for me.
00:40:45What are we doing in there?
00:40:45Are we gonna match in coats?
00:40:47No.
00:40:48We should walk the whole thing
00:40:49and come up with a plan.
00:40:51No, I think I'm just gonna go in every store.
00:40:54Excellent.
00:40:55That's the plan, I'll be.
00:40:56Would you please define Hogwild for us?
00:40:59Yes.
00:41:00That is a win.
00:41:01You can go in any store
00:41:02and buy any high-end fashion piece of clothing you want
00:41:05and not care how much it costs.
00:41:06Cool.
00:41:30What do you think about this one?
00:41:45Yes, very good.
00:41:47New rack of shoes on sale,
00:41:48but we don't care about prices,
00:41:49so it doesn't matter.
00:41:55Get rid of it.
00:41:56There you go.
00:41:57Actually, I like these.
00:41:59These are super cute.
00:42:01Those are, those are very young.
00:42:03Yeah, these are fun.
00:42:05Yeah?
00:42:06Isn't it?
00:42:06Would you do that?
00:42:07Totally.
00:42:08I think now we're heading in the right direction.
00:42:10You like black.
00:42:11I like it.
00:42:12I do.
00:42:15Let's go try these on.
00:42:17Let's do it.
00:42:22So I'm gonna try this one on first.
00:42:23Yeah, let's do it.
00:42:25Try it on.
00:42:30It's gonna change.
00:42:31I'm trying them on.
00:42:32You think so?
00:42:33Mm-hmm.
00:42:33First time in a long time.
00:42:44Hold it up.
00:42:45Let me just do that again.
00:42:50Can't wait to wear these.
00:42:52Yes, let's go.
00:42:53Let's go.
00:42:54Let's go.
00:42:54Let's go.
00:42:55Let's go.
00:42:56Let's go.
00:42:57Let's go.
00:42:58Let's go put them on.
00:43:01Especially the laundry, right?
00:43:02Mm-hmm.
00:43:03That was a lot of shopping.
00:43:05Mm-hmm.
00:43:08It used to be us.
00:43:10What?
00:43:12Moving at light speed, aiming for the stars.
00:43:15Brilliant light beckoning us towards a future
00:43:17that was never to be.
00:43:20You're so poetic, Kevin.
00:43:22No, my minor was English Lit.
00:43:24Oh, I was there when you failed your final
00:43:27in the middle of my dreams.
00:43:28That's not fair.
00:43:29That is not fair.
00:43:30Professor Ballantine had it out for me from the beginning
00:43:33because she overheard me talking about her nasty divorce.
00:43:35You always did have a way of winning people over.
00:43:37I won you over, didn't I?
00:43:38Barely.
00:43:40I think you had to ask me out like over 26 times.
00:43:42You were counting?
00:43:44Most guys would have taken the hint.
00:43:46I was committed.
00:43:47But aren't you happy now?
00:43:50Yeah.
00:43:52I get to spend the rest of my life with the man I adore.
00:43:56And then end it with him.
00:43:58I'm gonna stick it last forever.
00:44:00Mm-hmm.
00:44:06Let me see, who could it be?
00:44:08Let me see.
00:44:09Is it Brian?
00:44:12Seems a little hostility.
00:44:14Okay, I have a deal for you.
00:44:16Today will be a text-free day.
00:44:18Brian will have to go 24 hours without your sage advice.
00:44:20Who are you offering in return?
00:44:22I will be the most loving, wonderful wife you've ever known.
00:44:29I think you're getting the better end of the deal.
00:44:31Mm-mm.
00:44:45Now I get to love him.
00:44:53Okay, what's next?
00:44:55You said you wanted to go to Vegas, right?
00:44:58I guess, yeah.
00:44:59Let's go.
00:45:00At this moment?
00:45:01Yeah.
00:45:02We can't, we don't have reservations.
00:45:03We just get in the car and go.
00:45:06Shouldn't we pack?
00:45:08No, I just bought some clothes.
00:45:09We can buy clothes there.
00:45:11We just go.
00:45:12I can live with that.
00:45:15When did you get so spontaneous?
00:45:17I mean, I don't know.
00:45:19When did you get so spontaneous?
00:45:21Maybe I always was and you just didn't notice.
00:45:24I think in four years of marriage I might have noticed.
00:45:27Well, that was before when I thought we had a future.
00:45:30You know, it doesn't really matter.
00:45:31We can just live in the moment.
00:45:35I like this new lifestyle.
00:45:38It's a bummer that it's going to be over so soon.
00:45:42It ends for everyone.
00:45:43You just know now when.
00:45:46Let's go.
00:45:47Alright, let's do it.
00:45:50Vegas!
00:45:58In four hours I'm going to be sitting by a pool and sipping on Mai Tai.
00:46:03This will not do.
00:46:04What?
00:46:05We need an upgrade.
00:46:07We need new wheels.
00:46:15We need new wheels.
00:46:16We need new wheels.
00:46:17We need new wheels.
00:46:18We need new wheels.
00:46:19We need new wheels.
00:46:20We need new wheels.
00:46:21We need new wheels.
00:46:22We need new wheels.
00:46:23We need new wheels.
00:46:24We need new wheels.
00:46:25We need new wheels.
00:46:26We need new wheels.
00:46:27We need new wheels.
00:46:28We need new wheels.
00:46:29We need new wheels.
00:46:30We need new wheels.
00:46:31We need new wheels.
00:46:32We need new wheels.
00:46:33We need new wheels.
00:46:34We need new wheels.
00:46:35We need new wheels.
00:46:36We need new wheels.
00:46:37We need new wheels.
00:46:38We need new wheels.
00:46:39We need new wheels.
00:46:40We need new wheels.
00:46:41We need new wheels.
00:46:42We need new wheels.
00:46:43We need new wheels.
00:46:44We need new wheels.
00:46:45We need new wheels.
00:46:46We need new wheels.
00:46:47We need new wheels.
00:46:48We need new wheels.
00:46:49We need new wheels.
00:46:50We need new wheels.
00:46:51We need new wheels.
00:46:52We need new wheels.
00:46:53We need new wheels.
00:46:54We need new wheels.
00:46:55We need new wheels.
00:46:56We need new wheels.
00:46:57We need new wheels.
00:46:58We need new wheels.
00:46:59We need new wheels.
00:47:00We need new wheels.
00:47:01We need new wheels.
00:47:02We need new wheels.
00:47:03We need new wheels.
00:47:04We need new wheels.
00:47:05We need new wheels.
00:47:06We need new wheels.
00:47:07We need new wheels.
00:47:08We need new wheels.
00:47:09We need new wheels.
00:47:10We need new wheels.
00:47:11We need new wheels.
00:47:12We need new wheels.
00:47:13We need new wheels.
00:47:14We need new wheels.
00:47:15We need new wheels.
00:47:16We need new wheels.
00:47:17We need new wheels.
00:47:18We need new wheels.
00:47:19We need new wheels.
00:47:20We need new wheels.
00:47:21We need new wheels.
00:47:22We need new wheels.
00:47:23We need new wheels.
00:47:24We need new wheels.
00:47:25We need new wheels.
00:47:26We need new wheels.
00:47:27We need new wheels.
00:47:28We need new wheels.
00:47:29We need new wheels.
00:47:30We need new wheels.
00:47:31We need new wheels.
00:47:32We need new wheels.
00:47:33We need new wheels.
00:47:34We need new wheels.
00:47:35We need new wheels.
00:47:36We need new wheels.
00:47:37We need new wheels.
00:47:38We need new wheels.
00:47:39We need new wheels.
00:47:40We need new wheels.
00:47:41We need new wheels.
00:47:42We need new wheels.
00:47:43We need new wheels.
00:47:44We need new wheels.
00:47:45We need new wheels.
00:47:46We need new wheels.
00:47:47We need new wheels.
00:47:48We need new wheels.
00:47:49We need new wheels.
00:47:50We need new wheels.
00:47:51We need new wheels.
00:47:52We need new wheels.
00:47:53We need new wheels.
00:47:54We need new wheels.
00:47:55We need new wheels.
00:47:56We need new wheels.
00:47:57We need new wheels.
00:47:58We need new wheels.
00:47:59We need new wheels.
00:48:00We need new wheels.
00:48:01We need new wheels.
00:48:02We need new wheels.
00:48:03We need new wheels.
00:48:04We need new wheels.
00:48:05We need new wheels.
00:48:06We need new wheels.
00:48:07We need new wheels.
00:48:08We need new wheels.
00:48:09We need new wheels.
00:48:10We need new wheels.
00:48:11We need new wheels.
00:48:12We need new wheels.
00:48:13We need new wheels.
00:48:14We need new wheels.
00:48:15We need new wheels.
00:48:16We need new wheels.
00:48:17We need new wheels.
00:48:18We need new wheels.
00:48:19We need new wheels.
00:48:20We need new wheels.
00:48:21We need new wheels.
00:48:22We need new wheels.
00:48:23We need new wheels.
00:48:24We need new wheels.
00:48:25We need new wheels.
00:48:26We need new wheels.
00:48:27We need new wheels.
00:48:28We need new wheels.
00:48:29We need new wheels.
00:48:30We need new wheels.
00:48:31We need new wheels.
00:48:32We need new wheels.
00:48:33We need new wheels.
00:48:34We need new wheels.
00:48:35We need new wheels.
00:48:36We need new wheels.
00:48:37We need new wheels.
00:48:38We need new wheels.
00:48:39We need new wheels.
00:48:40We need new wheels.
00:48:41We need new wheels.
00:48:42We need new wheels.
00:48:43We need new wheels.
00:48:44We need new wheels.
00:48:45We need new wheels.
00:48:46We need new wheels.
00:48:47We need new wheels.
00:48:48We need new wheels.
00:48:49We need new wheels.
00:48:50We need new wheels.
00:48:51We need new wheels.
00:48:52We need new wheels.
00:48:53We need new wheels.
00:48:54We need new wheels.
00:48:55We need new wheels.
00:48:56We need new wheels.
00:48:57We need new wheels.
00:48:58We need new wheels.
00:48:59We need new wheels.
00:49:00We need new wheels.
00:49:01We need new wheels.
00:49:02We need new wheels.
00:49:03We need new wheels.
00:49:04We need new wheels.
00:49:05We need new wheels.
00:49:06We need new wheels.
00:49:07We need new wheels.
00:49:08We need new wheels.
00:49:10We need new wheels.
00:49:29You can see right through.
00:49:30Yeah.
00:49:33Remember what happened in this very spot?
00:49:35No.
00:49:36You don't remember?
00:49:37I do.
00:49:39They proposed to me right over there.
00:49:41Actually, I think it was right over there.
00:49:45Did you mean what you said in the car?
00:49:47Mm-hmm.
00:49:57Well, let's not wait around here.
00:49:59I feel like this is our wedding night.
00:50:01I can't wait to see the room.
00:50:03I hope they have chicken feet.
00:50:05Yes!
00:50:35Oh, my God.
00:51:05Oh, my God.
00:51:35Oh, my God.
00:52:05Let's get you diamonds.
00:52:27Let's get you diamonds.
00:52:29Yeah, let's. Real ones.
00:52:31These are not expensive enough.
00:52:33Let's get you a skater. That'd be gorgeous on you.
00:52:35Where's the locust?
00:52:37Right here. Isn't that the same thing?
00:52:39I'm thinking no. I'm thinking let's press on to the more expensive stuff.
00:52:41The more expensive stuff. All right.
00:52:43Yeah, it's just not enough.
00:52:45Let's gamble.
00:52:47Come up on the fountain with me.
00:52:49And do what?
00:52:53Milady.
00:52:55What was it you said?
00:52:57No, no. What did you say?
00:52:59You said something.
00:53:01I don't want to ever be
00:53:03with anyone else.
00:53:05Let's get married again.
00:53:07What?
00:53:09What did you say?
00:53:11I mean, take vows.
00:53:13Tell each other we'll spend the rest of our lives with each other.
00:53:15That's what I thought you said.
00:53:17It's weird that I can't even say I love you to you.
00:53:19Nope.
00:53:23Oh.
00:53:25Oh.
00:53:27Kevin Alford.
00:53:29Do you love me?
00:53:31You know I do.
00:53:33Then say those three little words.
00:53:37I think you already know the answer.
00:53:39I think you should say it.
00:53:43I couldn't hear that one.
00:53:45Say it again.
00:53:47Attention, everyone.
00:53:49I love this woman.
00:53:51I love this woman.
00:53:53I love this woman more
00:53:55than any man has ever loved a woman before.
00:53:57Oh, my God.
00:53:59Does that work for you?
00:54:01I think that's the wine talking.
00:54:03I kept up my end of the bargain.
00:54:07You're crazy.
00:54:11Will you marry me?
00:54:13Yeah.
00:54:19Good.
00:54:21Let's go.
00:54:23I want to remove your garter belt this time.
00:54:25At our first wedding?
00:54:27Yeah.
00:54:33And here you are at the Little White Wedding Chapel
00:54:35in Las Vegas, Nevada,
00:54:37once again in front of the altar of marriage.
00:54:39Kevin, do you take Jennifer once again
00:54:41to be your wedded wife?
00:54:43I do.
00:54:45And do you still promise to love and honor,
00:54:47respect and keep her all the days of your life?
00:54:49I do.
00:54:51Jennifer, do you take Kevin once again
00:54:53to be your wedded wife?
00:54:55I do.
00:54:57And do you still promise to love and honor,
00:54:59respect and keep him all the days of your life?
00:55:01I do.
00:55:03Father God, we thank you for Kevin and Jennifer,
00:55:05for their love for each other,
00:55:07their commitment to each other,
00:55:09and their celebration of four years
00:55:11of holy matrimony together.
00:55:13We ask you to continue to give them courage and strength
00:55:15to live up to the sacred vow
00:55:17that they are taking again here today
00:55:19as we ask you to bless these rings
00:55:21as we place the ring on Jennifer's left-hand ring finger
00:55:23and repeat after me,
00:55:25I, Kevin,
00:55:27I, Kevin,
00:55:29take you, Jennifer,
00:55:31take you, Jennifer,
00:55:33once again,
00:55:35once again,
00:55:37for my wife,
00:55:39for my wife,
00:55:41with this ring,
00:55:43with this ring,
00:55:45I recommit myself to you,
00:55:47I recommit myself to you,
00:55:49to you,
00:55:51to you,
00:55:53to you,
00:55:55to you.
00:56:19Whoa.
00:56:25Okay, sweetie.
00:56:33Happy honeymoon.
00:56:35Oh.
00:56:41Brain hurt.
00:56:43Mm-hmm.
00:56:45Maybe we didn't need that gold shoulder.
00:56:47Followed by that Jagermeister.
00:56:49That's a winning combination.
00:56:51For a hangover.
00:56:53Mm-hmm.
00:56:57How'd you end up down there?
00:56:59I think I found you
00:57:01with me in the night.
00:57:03Mm.
00:57:05I'd do it again.
00:57:07Mm.
00:57:13Mm.
00:57:15Mm.
00:57:31Hey.
00:57:35Cheers.
00:57:37Mm.
00:57:43Mm.
00:57:45Jane, can we move here forever?
00:57:49Vegas is everything.
00:57:51Good food,
00:57:53good people,
00:57:55good vices.
00:57:57Where else can you get crab legs at 2 in the morning
00:57:59and then shoot crabs until dawn?
00:58:01Nowhere.
00:58:03Your point?
00:58:05Yes, it is.
00:58:07And I don't want to leave.
00:58:11Are you serious about going through with it?
00:58:13Yes.
00:58:15I was.
00:58:17I am.
00:58:19How much longer do we have?
00:58:21I don't know.
00:58:23Give or take a month, depending on how much we have left on our credit cards.
00:58:27How much are we going through?
00:58:29I'd say, like, six or eight grand.
00:58:31Six or eight grand?
00:58:33Renting for rock stars is expensive, Kevin.
00:58:35Yeah, I know, but it's not like we rented jets
00:58:37or threw parties or...
00:58:43Are you having second thoughts?
00:58:45Honestly?
00:58:53No.
00:58:55I mean, kind of.
00:58:57Yeah.
00:58:59I mean, it sounded like a good idea when you came up with it.
00:59:01You think it's gonna get better?
00:59:03I don't know.
00:59:05It's not. We've...
00:59:07We've already gone over this.
00:59:15Would you do it without me?
00:59:17No.
00:59:19No.
00:59:21No.
00:59:23We're in this together.
00:59:25And so,
00:59:27Kevin and Jennifer make their way
00:59:29from the city of sin
00:59:31onto the next leg of their adventure.
00:59:33Where will these wandering souls end up?
00:59:35The next stop of the intrepid adventurers
00:59:37will be...
00:59:39What's next on the list?
00:59:41Uh, I don't know.
00:59:43Let me look.
00:59:45Next on the list was African Safari,
00:59:47followed by a trip to the south of France,
00:59:49and then Outback of Australia.
00:59:51I vote Outback.
00:59:53I vote Outback.
00:59:55No. That would be diverging from the plan.
00:59:57Yeah, but we're not set in stone.
00:59:59We can diverge from the plan.
01:00:01Ah, you know me. Once I make a plan, I like to stick to it.
01:00:03Yeah.
01:00:05But there's all kinds of crazy diseases we could catch.
01:00:07You know, like Ebola, where you bleed out all your orifices?
01:00:09No, they have shots for that.
01:00:11No, they don't. It's one of those diseases where there's no cure.
01:00:13Once you get it, you're gone.
01:00:15Oh.
01:00:19Hi, Mom.
01:00:21I'm getting your room ready for you.
01:00:23I don't know if we're gonna make it for Thanksgiving anymore.
01:00:25Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
01:00:27It's just we can't afford the plane ticket.
01:00:29Well, we'll miss you both very much.
01:00:31Thank you. I appreciate that.
01:00:33Is Kevin still looking for work?
01:00:35Yes, he's looking.
01:00:37No job leads yet.
01:00:39I've got to run. The plumber just arrived. Love you.
01:00:41All right. I love you, too.
01:00:43You actually just lied to your mother.
01:00:45What was I supposed to tell her?
01:00:47That we're planning on offing each other
01:00:49and we'll be around come Turkey Day?
01:00:51Yeah, that would have played out well.
01:00:53Oh, come on. Your mom would have taken it in stride.
01:00:55Not funny.
01:01:19I love you.
01:01:49I love you, too.
01:02:19I love you, too.
01:02:49None of the cards are working.
01:03:01You can't cancel those cards.
01:03:03They're our cards.
01:03:05I'm sorry, sir. There's nothing else I can do.
01:03:07Well, turn them back on.
01:03:09I can't turn them on, sir. It just can't be done.
01:03:11What do you mean you can't do that?
01:03:13You can reapply for the credit line.
01:03:15No, I'm sorry, sir.
01:03:17I can't do that.
01:03:19No, I'm not going to reapply.
01:03:21Those are our cards. I need those cards.
01:03:23I'm sorry, sir. There's nothing else I can do.
01:03:25No, no, I'm sorry. No.
01:03:27You know, you have a nice day.
01:03:29Thank you for being a customer.
01:03:31No, thank you for ruining the rest of what's left of my life.
01:03:33They can't cancel those cards.
01:03:35They're our cards.
01:03:39Aren't you the least bit upset?
01:03:43You don't seem like it.
01:03:45We're not supposed to pay for anything.
01:03:47We can't pay for Paris or the Outback or the safari
01:03:49with our good looks alone.
01:03:53Maybe you could because you're so pretty.
01:03:55As pretty as Beth.
01:03:57What?
01:04:05What are we going to do?
01:04:07No, Kevin, the question is what are you going to do
01:04:09about Beth having your baby?
01:04:11What are you talking about?
01:04:13Because you got a text message from her
01:04:15while you were pumping gas and she mentioned
01:04:17how nicely she's coming along and that you'd be a daddy soon.
01:04:19And I didn't think you wanted to have kids, Kevin,
01:04:21or was that just not with me?
01:04:23Is that it?
01:04:25No.
01:04:29When were you going to tell me
01:04:31you were going to be a father, huh?
01:04:33We could have thrown a party.
01:04:35It takes time to plan a baby shower, Kevin.
01:04:37You've got to have some consideration for the family
01:04:39flying you from out of town.
01:04:41Kevin, consideration was number one
01:04:43of your strong suits, was it?
01:04:45Or you could have had the party local for her.
01:04:47Her family wouldn't have to fly anywhere.
01:04:49Where is she from?
01:04:51See, area code 609,
01:04:53serving all of Greater Silicon Valley.
01:04:55What are you doing
01:04:57hooking up with a girl so far away, Kevin?
01:04:59Wouldn't you want someone closer
01:05:01for easier access?
01:05:05I know.
01:05:07When you were working on that condo development.
01:05:09Your credit card bills
01:05:11seemed a little high.
01:05:13You know, if you're ever going to cheat on anyone again,
01:05:15Kevin, you should consider using cash
01:05:17for your extramarital affairs.
01:05:19That or marry a really stupid girl.
01:05:23You know, I read all of the texts, Kevin.
01:05:25I especially like the one about your love muscle.
01:05:29Or how you want to take her doggy style.
01:05:31Or how you want to have a threesome with her.
01:05:33Which you said, of course,
01:05:35that you didn't want to do with anyone.
01:05:37So were you lying to me, or to her, or to all of us?
01:05:39Huh?
01:05:43God, are you even capable of being committed to one person, Kevin?
01:05:51Turn that off.
01:05:53Why, Kevin? Turn that off!
01:05:55Why should I? See, I can raise my voice too, Kevin. Does that help us?
01:05:57Turn it off!
01:05:59You know what?
01:06:01And to answer your question about earlier,
01:06:03about what are we going to do,
01:06:05we are getting divorced.
01:06:07Fine. Fine.
01:06:09Yeah, it's fine that you act like a complete douchebag.
01:06:11Break my heart.
01:06:21Let's just go.
01:06:23Drive.
01:06:35Let's go.
01:06:51How could you do this?
01:06:55I don't know how I could do it.
01:06:57Because I never loved you, Jennifer.
01:06:59Because how could I want to be with someone
01:07:01who was always needling me about everything?
01:07:03It just had to be so planned out.
01:07:05Everything was a number, you know?
01:07:07It was a plan we couldn't diverge from.
01:07:09You know, there was never any spontaneity.
01:07:11You slept with someone else
01:07:13because it wasn't spontaneous?
01:07:15I made a mistake, all right?
01:07:17Yeah.
01:07:19You call getting your girlfriend pregnant a mistake?
01:07:21She's not my girlfriend.
01:07:29Pull over.
01:07:31What?
01:07:33Pull over!
01:07:57Jen, what are you doing?
01:07:59Walk away.
01:08:01I can do whatever I want, just like you can.
01:08:03You'll die out here.
01:08:05Good! Wasn't that the plan anyway?
01:08:07I'm sorry about what I said.
01:08:09Sorry about what you said
01:08:11or sorry about what you did?
01:08:13Both.
01:08:15What were you thinking?
01:08:19I screwed up. I'm sorry.
01:08:21I want a divorce.
01:08:25Are you throwing our marriage over this?
01:08:27You already did.
01:08:31Who is she?
01:08:33She's just someone I met.
01:08:35Great.
01:08:37You're having a baby with someone you don't even know?
01:08:39Are you out of your mind?
01:08:41I screwed up. I'm sorry.
01:08:43Me too.
01:08:45Look, it was nothing. It was just one time.
01:08:47It wasn't even serious.
01:08:49Great. Awesome. So obviously you're not even serious about us.
01:08:53Can we just get back in the car?
01:08:55It's freezing out here.
01:08:57Good. I hope you freeze to death.
01:09:03Just take me home.
01:09:05No.
01:09:23Look, I know this may not be the best time
01:09:25to talk about this, but
01:09:27what are we going to do about it?
01:09:29I'll pay it back.
01:09:31How?
01:09:33I'm not going to end my life
01:09:35with someone who obviously didn't want to spend it with me.
01:09:41I do love you, Jennifer.
01:09:43Yeah, you have some twisted idea of love.
01:09:47If I didn't love you, would I want to end my life with you?
01:09:51You weren't going to do it out of love for me.
01:09:53We were both miserable.
01:09:55I was only going to go through with it because of you.
01:09:57Don't give me that. You're just as miserable as me.
01:09:59You were just looking for a way out, and I gave it to you.
01:10:01We agreed we were going to do it together.
01:10:03Yeah, well, that was before all this.
01:10:05Are you going to do it alone?
01:10:07Don't worry about it, Kevin.
01:10:09What about our plan?
01:10:11I'd rather live the rest of my life alone
01:10:13and miserable than end my life with you.
01:10:15But if you want to go ahead and kill yourself,
01:10:17go ahead. I don't care.
01:10:23I will, then.
01:10:25Fine.
01:10:27And don't expect me to feel guilty about it,
01:10:29because I won't.
01:10:31You want to know how I'm going to do it?
01:10:33No, I don't care.
01:10:35Oh, you don't care at all how I'm going to do it?
01:10:37No, and when we get back, I'm moving out.
01:10:39I'll get my stuff later.
01:10:41Where are you going?
01:10:43That's really none of your business, is it?
01:10:49Jen, I really think you're taking this too far.
01:10:51Please, don't talk to me for the duration of this trip.
01:10:57Jennifer, wait, wait.
01:10:59Just hear me out.
01:11:01Please reconsider.
01:11:03I have to go.
01:11:05Let's talk about this.
01:11:07I'm sorry.
01:11:09I'm sorry.
01:11:11I'm sorry.
01:11:13I'm sorry.
01:11:15I'm sorry.
01:11:17I'm sorry.
01:11:19I'm sorry.
01:11:21I'm sorry.
01:11:23I'm sorry.
01:11:25Please reconsider.
01:11:27I have to go.
01:11:29Let's talk about this.
01:11:31I know what I did was really stupid,
01:11:33but it was never meant to be more than just a...
01:11:35Just a fling?
01:11:37I know I sound pathetic, and you hate me now, but...
01:11:39Yeah, you got that right.
01:11:41I'm both down.
01:11:43Probably the smartest thing you've said all day.
01:11:45Goodbye, Kevin.
01:11:55Goodbye.
01:12:25Goodbye.
01:12:55Goodbye.
01:13:25Goodbye.
01:13:27Goodbye.
01:13:29Goodbye.
01:13:31Goodbye.
01:13:33Goodbye.
01:13:35Goodbye.
01:13:37Goodbye.
01:13:39Goodbye.
01:13:41Goodbye.
01:13:43Goodbye.
01:13:45Goodbye.
01:13:47Goodbye.
01:13:49Goodbye.
01:13:51Goodbye.
01:13:53Goodbye.
01:13:55Goodbye.
01:13:57Goodbye.
01:13:59Goodbye.
01:14:01Goodbye.
01:14:03Goodbye.
01:14:05Goodbye.
01:14:07Goodbye.
01:14:09Goodbye.
01:14:11Goodbye.
01:14:13Goodbye.
01:14:15Goodbye.
01:14:17Goodbye.
01:14:19Goodbye.
01:14:21Goodbye.
01:14:23Goodbye.
01:14:25Goodbye.
01:14:27Goodbye.
01:14:29Goodbye.
01:14:31Goodbye.
01:14:33Goodbye.
01:14:35Goodbye.
01:14:37Goodbye.
01:14:39Goodbye.
01:14:41Goodbye.
01:14:43Goodbye.
01:14:45Goodbye.
01:14:47Goodbye.
01:14:49Hey, it's Jennifer.
01:14:51You know what to do.
01:14:53Hey, Jen.
01:14:55It's me, Kevin.
01:14:57I haven't heard from you.
01:14:59It's just...
01:15:01Can you call me when you get this?
01:15:13Hey, Jen.
01:15:15Kevin.
01:15:17Sorry to bother you.
01:15:19Some more bills showed up.
01:15:21So I just...
01:15:23I was thinking that we should
01:15:25talk at some point.
01:15:29Hope you're doing well.
01:15:31Call me back.
01:15:43Hey, Kevin.
01:15:45I...
01:15:49I love you.
01:15:51I miss you.
01:16:09Hi, I'm Kevin Alpern.
01:16:11I really screwed up.
01:16:13I did some really stupid things.
01:16:17Originally, Jennifer and I
01:16:19were going to end it together, but...
01:16:21Careful thought.
01:16:23I decided to go it alone.
01:16:29I don't want to spend the rest of my life without her.
01:16:31I do love her.
01:16:33But that's not the reason I'm doing it.
01:16:35I just have that hunch that
01:16:37things aren't going to get better.
01:16:39You know my story.
01:16:41Credit card debt up the wazoo.
01:16:45Pretty soon I won't even be living here.
01:16:47This will feel like luxury
01:16:49compared to what's next.
01:16:53I don't even want to think about the future.
01:17:05I got an eviction notice today.
01:17:07They were going to kick me out of here.
01:17:09Well, that's the way it works.
01:17:27Well, I'm officially homeless now.
01:17:29Everything I own in one suitcase.
01:17:39It's kind of liberating in a way.
01:17:41No bills.
01:17:43No rules to follow.
01:17:45No responsibilities.
01:17:49Yeah, maybe I made
01:17:51some mistakes.
01:17:53Or some very big errors in judgment.
01:18:05It'll be okay.
01:18:09This is my new home.
01:18:11Gracious, huh?
01:18:15I'm going to make the front seat the kitchen
01:18:17and the back seat
01:18:19is going to be the living room
01:18:21and the bedroom.
01:18:35I miss her.
01:18:37I miss her.
01:18:39What can I say?
01:19:07I miss her.
01:19:09I miss her.
01:19:11I miss her.
01:19:13I miss her.
01:19:15I miss her.
01:19:17I miss her.
01:19:19I miss her.
01:19:21I miss her.
01:19:23I miss her.
01:19:25I miss her.
01:19:27I miss her.
01:19:29I miss her.
01:19:31I miss her.
01:19:33I miss her.
01:19:35I miss her.
01:19:37I miss her.
01:19:39I miss her.
01:19:41I miss her.
01:19:43I miss her.
01:19:45I miss her.
01:19:47I miss her.
01:19:49I miss her.
01:19:51I miss her.
01:19:53I miss her.
01:19:55I miss her.
01:19:57I miss her.
01:19:59I miss her.
01:20:01I miss her.
01:20:04Kevin?
01:20:06Hey.
01:20:08What are you doing here?
01:20:10Oh, I was just passing by.
01:20:12Really?
01:20:14Yeah.
01:20:16I've been meaning to call you.
01:20:18Really?
01:20:20Yeah, about the credit cards.
01:20:22I've been getting a lot of calls about collections.
01:20:25I think we should figure out how to get them back.
01:20:28Yeah, I probably should.
01:20:34So, how have you been?
01:20:37I've been really good.
01:20:39Yeah?
01:20:41Yeah.
01:20:44I've been miserable.
01:20:46I got evicted from our apartment.
01:20:49I've been living in my car for a while.
01:20:53I'm actually still living in the car.
01:20:57I applied for a couple of architecture positions.
01:21:01No calls back yet, but...
01:21:05Are you sorry again?
01:21:08Oh, don't be.
01:21:11Something to be said for downward mobility, you know?
01:21:14There's a freedom in it.
01:21:17How about you?
01:21:20Um, I got hired by a new financial planning firm.
01:21:25I had to take a pay cut, but I'm not complaining.
01:21:29That's great. Good.
01:21:31You deserve it. Congratulations.
01:21:35I guess I should thank you for coming into a jerk off.
01:21:38I guess, you know, I go along with the plan.
01:21:42I don't know.
01:21:44Hmm.
01:21:51Are you seeing anyone?
01:21:53Why do you care?
01:21:55Just wondering.
01:21:58No. Not that it's any of your business.
01:22:01We're separated.
01:22:03Right. You're totally right.
01:22:05None of my business.
01:22:09I guess you're not planning on killing yourself now, huh?
01:22:12No. No.
01:22:14I don't know what I was thinking of that.
01:22:18I had my whole life to pay off those debts, so...
01:22:21Just maybe you're not...
01:22:23I don't know.
01:22:26We did have a good time.
01:22:31We did.
01:22:39Well, it was really good seeing you.
01:22:42You too.
01:22:49Jennifer.
01:22:52If there was someone I'd want to kill myself with, it would be you.
01:22:55Because I don't think I want to live my life without you.
01:22:59When you first came up with this crazy plan,
01:23:01I went along with it because I didn't think we would go through with it,
01:23:04but this time apart has reminded me why I fell in love with you.
01:23:08Why I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
01:23:12If you can find any way to forgive me,
01:23:15I will do anything in my power to make it up to you.
01:23:18I love you so much, Jennifer.
01:23:20I love you too, Henry.
01:23:31I'd like to say that's what I said to her.
01:23:34But I didn't.
01:23:36Good luck with your new position.
01:23:38Hey, things will get better.
01:23:40Keep your head up.
01:23:50I love you.
01:23:52I love you too, Henry.
01:23:54I love you.
01:24:19Jennifer moved on with her life.
01:24:22You know, workaholic that she is.
01:24:24She brosied her job and fell in love with someone who deserved her.
01:24:33As for me, I stuck to the plan.
01:24:53See how the moon looks good on you
01:25:01See how the light is a color blue
01:25:09And all I feel is so much faith from learning how to survive
01:25:17And all I got is one more chance
01:25:21I hope it doesn't die
01:25:26We were colored blue
01:25:29All on me
01:25:32All on you
01:25:34Colored blue
01:25:37Fall on me
01:25:40Fall into you
01:25:52See how the air is white and cold
01:26:00The lines on her face mean she's getting old
01:26:08And all I feel is so much hope from learning how to survive
01:26:17And all I got is one last dance
01:26:21I hope it ends tonight
01:26:28We were colored blue
01:26:31All on me
01:26:34All on you
01:26:37Colored blue
01:26:40All on you
01:26:43All on you
01:26:59I'm never on time
01:27:03I'm never too late
01:27:07I'm never too shy
01:27:10I'm never too safe
01:27:14But nothing is real
01:27:18Our love is not fake
01:27:22Always a big deal
01:27:26So give me a break
01:27:34Like a runaway train to the other side
01:27:41Just try to get a little sunshine
01:27:49Like a runaway train to the other side
01:27:57Just try to get a little sunshine
01:28:10Like a runaway train to the other side
01:28:15Just try to get a little sunshine
01:28:20Like a runaway train to the other side
01:28:25Just try to get a little sunshine