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  • 8 years ago
An ancient Chinese servant tries to revive an ancient emperor and his warriors in order to revive the dynasty.
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Transcript
05:36Just a sec.
05:56Freaky.
05:59Tell me about it.
06:01This place is scarier than Martin's closet on laundry day.
06:04But not as scary as Diana's sudden multiple personality disorder.
06:07And definitely not as scary as the outfit she's wearing.
06:10That's enough lip out of you, Pally.
06:12Now let's find our hotel and go see the mayor, capiche?
06:24Hey, you're not supposed to stand out before the boat stops.
06:28Haha, like I care.
06:36That looks painful.
06:38Reminds me of the time I went urban surfing.
06:41Blindfolded.
06:43I was getting ready for the election when I was picked up and tossed through the window like a rag
06:48doll.
06:49It was horrible.
06:51Sounds like your classic shadow demon.
06:53Invisible and super strong.
06:55Sounds like extreme anxiety to me.
06:57It's simple.
06:58The election made you nervous and you had one of them panic attacks.
07:01Nothing to be ashamed of, Pops.
07:05It would take one weird panic attack to do that.
07:08It's probably just a bug bite.
07:10In case you haven't noticed, this joint is seriously infested.
07:15Yeah, right.
07:16Anyway, a bioscan should straighten everything out.
07:26Uh, don't worry, Mr. Mayor, it's standard procedure.
07:34Martin, Diana...
07:38Either there was a robbery at the donut shop or we've got ourselves a situation.
07:42Let's roll.
07:59I wonder what's going on.
08:01You mean besides the creep factor going up by ten?
08:05Look up there!
08:15Okay, ma'am. Just stay calm. I'll help you down.
08:18No! I can't come down! Look at them all!
08:24Sounds like Granny's hallucinating.
08:38Nice catch, Joff.
08:44Call an ambulance.
08:45She's out cold, but she'll be all right.
08:49What that?
08:50I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.
09:05Hello? Anyone there?
09:07I can't see your hurricane going up there!
09:10Gah!
09:15Ah!
09:21Gah!
09:23Ah!
09:25Gah!
09:27Gah!
09:29Gah!
09:31Gah! Gah!
09:35Oh !
09:36Oh !
09:38Oh !
09:41What do we have here ?
09:44Hmm.
09:49Oh, man !
09:52Am I glad to see you guys !
09:54There was all this freaky chanting
09:55and there were eyes everywhere !
09:57And I found this !
09:59What ? You want a gold star or something ?
10:01No, my crude little biker babe !
10:04I want to figure out what this means !
10:06And I want to get out of this swamp
10:08before the stink pollutes my leather !
10:16Oh, what happened ?
10:18Either the maid went ballistic
10:19or someone rifled through our stuff !
10:25Hmm.
10:26My comb is gone !
10:28So's my makeup case !
10:30No nail clipper !
10:32Ugh !
10:35Ah !
10:38Ah !
10:40Ah !
10:41Ah !
10:45Ah !
10:45Hey guys !
10:46Help !
10:47Huh ! Wimps !
10:49I've got the bioscan results !
10:51Go ahead Billy !
10:53The marks on the mayor were psychosomatic !
10:57He means the old dude's marks were created mentally, not physically !
11:01Sounds like good old-fashioned voodoo !
11:03Excuse me ?
11:04Psychosomatic injuries are a classic sign !
11:07I read about it in the Fall Fashion issue of Paranormal Monthly !
11:10Oh, by the way !
11:11Did you know that green is the new biohazard orange ?
11:16Hmm !
11:17Okay !
11:17I think it's time for some real research !
11:20As in, the scientific kind !
11:21Now quit blabbering and fire up the Legendex, Marty !
11:29Legendex selected world !
11:30Now type in Stillwater !
11:34The Legendex says that Stillwater has a history of voodoo that goes back to the 1700s !
11:39Okay, so you were right !
11:41Now quit bragging and keep reading !
11:42A voodoo shaman lived here until he was run out of town !
11:45He was using a powerful talisman made of alligator teeth to control the townspeople !
11:49The Legend says that he turned into an alligator and vanished in the swamp !
11:53Well, I think it's obvious !
11:55The old shaman is back and wants revenge !
11:58Not likely !
11:59I mean, 1700s, the shaman would be pushing out the daisies by now !
12:03My money's on anxiety !
12:04Yeah, well your money would be somewhere else if you saw that alligator I ran into !
12:08Look !
12:09That's just in !
12:10There's a new mayor in Stillwater today !
12:12Since all other candidates were forced to withdraw from the election !
12:15The winner by default is Montgomery Stokes !
12:17Congratulations, Mayor Stokes !
12:20What happened to the other candidates was truly unfortunate !
12:25But as your new mayor, I will do my best to serve the community !
12:31I think it's time we paid Mr. Stokes a little visit !
12:44Can I help you ?
12:46Hi Mr. Stokes ! I'm Martin, this is Diana, and that's Java !
12:49We're investigating the series of attacks that just happened to involve your electoral opponents !
12:55You must forgive me ! Those attacks were very unfortunate !
12:59But this is my first day as mayor, and I have much to do !
13:03Yeah, actually, about that !
13:05What a charmer !
13:07Well, we could talk to the townsfolk !
13:09Find out about Stokes from them !
13:11Or, we could come back tonight for a little beanie !
13:13Bacon and eggs !
13:15These old places always have a rusty lock or two !
13:18Ahem !
13:19What ?
13:19Nothing ! It's just, well, breaking in !
13:23It's kind of against the law !
13:25Look, if we're dealing with an evil voodoo shaman, then all bets are off !
13:29But you can always stay behind if you're chicken !
13:35Uh...
13:42Hmm...
13:46I never knew you were so good at picking locks !
13:49Neither did I !
13:50It's amazing how many rolls you can break with a simple hairpin !
13:56You hear that ?
13:57That's the same noise I heard in the swamp !
14:00Java no like !
14:03Hmm...
14:05Sorry, momentary relapse !
14:08Won't happen again !
14:09Let's just search this place and get out of here !
14:21Hmm...
14:22This confirms it !
14:23Stokes used voodoo to win the election !
14:25Uh-oh !
14:34Java !
14:35Java can't move !
14:42Hey !
14:43Ow !
14:43Elbows don't bend that way !
14:48Yo, who cranked up the A.C. ?
14:54That would be me !
14:56The Honorable Mayor Stokes !
15:00I found the democratic palsy is so tiring !
15:03It's so much easier just to break the rules !
15:19Oh...
15:20Java head hurts !
15:22Yeah...
15:23Major ice cream headache !
15:25Ugh...
15:26More like the adverse effects of the ear-splitting sound of power tools !
15:30Haah !
15:32Oh...
15:33Your way...
15:34Just in time !
15:37Ugh !
15:49Ugh !
15:50Ah...
15:50Ah !
15:52Ah !
15:53Ah !
15:54Ah !
15:54Ah !
15:54Ah !
15:54Ah !
15:55Ah !
15:55Ah !
15:55Ah !
15:55Java !
15:56Leave him alone !
15:57I was worried that I'd have to go out and get your big friend !
16:00But lucky me !
16:01J'ai décidé de te détruire.
16:06Remind me de nouveau, c'était ton plan brillant, n'est-ce pas?
16:15Merci pour votre aide.
16:17Quand je suis tormenté, me prépare de vous donner une clé à la ville.
16:22Restez !
16:24Maintenant, si vous excusez-moi, j'ai un rendez-vous avec un ancêtre.
16:28Ancestor ?
16:29Ce hall est construit sur les remains de la chaman.
16:33La chaman qui est mon grand-grand-grand-père.
16:47OUCH !
16:47Attention !
16:49Je suis, ou j'ai envie d'avoir des 5 o'clock shadow comme 8 o'clock shadow ?
16:54Il semble qu'il y a quelqu'un de retour à la gym.
16:56Oui, rub ma face dans ça, non ?
16:58Ah, oui.
17:00Si ces dolls continuent de travailler, les trois de nous sont prêts à la fin.
17:03Oh, au moins, il a capturé mes bons looks.
17:06Attendez un moment.
17:07C'est tout !
17:10Qu'est-ce que tu fais ?
17:11Les dolls fonctionnent par un peu de vous, comme votre peinture ou votre image.
17:18Donc, si je change mon look, la doll ne va pas avoir un effet sur moi !
17:22Hey, ça marche !
17:25Hey, ça marche !
17:30Whoa !
17:31Major creep alert !
17:41Oh !
17:42Oh, we better get moving before we become part of the scenery !
17:55Le Regendex !
17:57Le Regendex dit qu'il y a un talisman puits, c'est une taille !
18:00Et pour chercher le talisman, il a dû devenir maire.
18:40Finalement, le talisman.
18:50Persistent, n'est-ce pas ?
18:52Alors, tu seras le premier à sentir mon pouvoir.
19:03C'est encore mieux que je l'imaginais.
19:09Diana, donne-moi ma peinture !
19:11C'est désolé, mais le nouveau me ne prendra pas des ordres.
19:18Juste donne-moi, rapide !
19:25Use ma propre peinture contre moi !
19:28Et comment vous proposez-vous faire ça ?
19:33Il semble qu'on allait être dans le même thorn-bush.
19:36C'est assez pour moi, hein ?
19:41Alors, on va voir comment vous aimez être un humain pretzel.
19:50C'est quoi ?
19:54Le talisman !
19:55Put me down !
19:56Anything you say, Mr. Mayor !
20:00Oh, si, c'est parti !
20:06Ah !
20:16Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
20:37...and, of course, bad girl Diana.
20:41That's my name. Don't wear it out.
20:43OK, OK, you proved your point.
20:45You can break the rules with the best of them.
20:47Now, please, Diana, lose the leather
20:49and go back to your old goody-two-shoes self.
20:52Sorry, Marty. The old die don't exist anymore.
20:55I'm one babe that's through being straight-laced.
20:58Hey, look at this!
21:00Someone misspelled our names in the case report!
21:03And they even filled in the wrong date!
21:09Now that's just being lazy!
21:11Regulation 5 subsection 3 clearly states
21:13that the date must be correct on all...
21:15Hey, these are blank.
21:21Gotcha!
21:22Ha ha ha, very funny.
21:25I guess I'm not really cut out to be bad.
21:27Besides, I never would have guessed that just being myself
21:29would have saved my life.
21:30and it's no fun breaking the rules if nobody freaks out.
21:34You have the best conniptions.
21:36Ha ha ha.
21:38Aw, gross! Diana!
21:56aw, gross!
21:57MeganASH
21:58How's he going on...?
21:58Hey, heroons!
22:01We have the last man simultaneously again.
22:01You can't build any things for the money that Oh pra neighbourhood...
22:09Oh, wow!
22:10Wow!
22:10I will pay the bulb out to be much better now.
22:10Let's practice this one!
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