00:00Looking good, Jeff.
00:02That beige windbreakers really lighten up my board.
00:05Do you know what I mean? My vagina.
00:07God, that woman is a cancer.
00:09Bye, Jeff.
00:12Oh, God, here comes that weird little stay-at-home mom.
00:14Oh, my God, what is she wearing?
00:15Hi.
00:16Hi, guys.
00:17Maddie was up all night barfing on my hair, but it's great.
00:19I'm very happy.
00:20Gross.
00:21I think she just got her sadness all over me.
00:23Here comes Amy.
00:24Just don't know how you leave your kids all day and go to work?
00:27Oh, yeah, but I also need things like money.
00:30Right.
00:31I'll see you guys later.
00:32I just love how hard she was.
00:34Such a hard worker.
00:35I just said that, Vicki.
00:38We've got four minutes to get Roscoe to the vet, which should be fine.
00:41You're super late for your marketing meeting.
00:43I can't believe I'm gonna be late to my first soccer practice.
00:46You're having a bad day?
00:47It could not get any worse.
00:49Damn.
00:53I called this emergency PTA meeting
00:55to address an issue that affects the safety of our children.
00:58Terrorism.
01:00The bake sale.
01:01Is this a joke?
01:02What's that now?
01:03I can't do this anymore.
01:04I'm done.
01:06In this day and age, it's impossible to be a good mom.
01:08Screw it.
01:09Let's be bad moms.
01:10I'm in.
01:11To bad moms.
01:13Oh, my God.
01:14Somebody move my stool.
01:17Hey.
01:18Hi.
01:19I was going to see if you'd like to join me at the movies this afternoon.
01:21Are we allowed to do that?
01:22This has literally been the best day of my life.
01:27Have a great day at school.
01:28Hey, Amy.
01:29PTA meeting at 2.
01:30Will we see you there?
01:32No.
01:33Bye.
01:36I run the PTA.
01:37Nobody takes a class but plays a clarinet unless I say so.
01:41She's a bully.
01:42We have to take down these perfect moms.
01:44I say we go punch that chick right in the tits.
01:47Yes.
01:48This is the best PTA meeting ever.
01:59I haven't had sex since my divorce.
02:01What if I get someone who's not circumcised?
02:02Run out of the room screaming.
02:04It's like finding a gun in the street.
02:06Just scream and get out of there.
02:08Yay!
02:09I love you.
02:10Oh my God, Mom.
02:11That's so loud.
02:12I love my baby so much!
02:13No!
02:14No!
02:15No!
02:16No!
02:17No!
02:18No!
02:19No!
02:20No!
02:21No!
02:22No!
02:23No!
02:24No!
02:25No!
02:26No!
02:27No!
02:28No!
02:29No!
02:30No!
02:31No!
02:32No!
02:33No!
02:34No!
02:35No!
02:36No!
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