- 6 years ago
Life With Elizabeth:Everything Goes Wrong/Tenderhearted with Animals/Babysitting Eddie Miller
Not Rated | 30min | Comedy | TV Episode
1) Elizabeth sustains a lot of minor injuries. 2) Elizabeth and Alvin observe some animals in the backyard. 3) Babysitting a "child".
Stars: Betty White, Del Moore, Scotty Beckett
Not Rated | 30min | Comedy | TV Episode
1) Elizabeth sustains a lot of minor injuries. 2) Elizabeth and Alvin observe some animals in the backyard. 3) Babysitting a "child".
Stars: Betty White, Del Moore, Scotty Beckett
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Betty White in Life With Elizabeth, featuring Del Moore.
00:20Incident number one in the life of Elizabeth occurred the day everything went wrong.
00:25We all have those days, but when Elizabeth has one, she doesn't fool around.
00:31Everything went wrong, but maybe things are all right by now.
00:37Elizabeth!
00:38How are you tonight?
00:41Oh, I'm sorry.
00:43Isn't that the finger you hurt earlier today?
00:46Too bad.
00:49Were you able to get the ink out of the rug?
00:53How's the burned elbow?
00:57Good.
00:58How's the sprained toe?
01:03Much better.
01:04I have a feeling things will start going right from now on.
01:08May we see the wallpaper you picked out?
01:52Cigarettes.
01:59The paper man said there was a storm brewing, and I see he's right.
02:02Look at that face.
02:04Alvin, I've had a bad day, and I'd prefer it if you'd just skip the funny stuff.
02:09You know what's the matter with you?
02:11You get mad at inanimate objects.
02:13I do not.
02:14Sure you do.
02:15Just now you burned yourself on the lamp, and what did you do?
02:17You tried to take a swing at the light bulb.
02:19I did not.
02:21All right, look.
02:23Let's go through the list of mishaps.
02:25Now, how did you burn your elbow?
02:28On the stove.
02:29And then you went in the other room and spilled the ink.
02:31How did that happen?
02:32Well, the buzzer on the stove made me jump.
02:35And then you smashed your finger.
02:36How did that happen?
02:38On the stove.
02:39And how did you sprain your toe?
02:42I kicked the stove.
02:46Now it's time to laugh.
02:49Is it?
02:50Sure.
02:51Honey, I know you.
02:52Any minute now you'll see something funny in the whole situation, and you'll laugh.
02:56Now, what were you doing in the other room just now?
03:00I was chasing the stupid wallpaper up the wall.
03:04Oh, you'd have died laughing, Alvin.
03:06I held the wallpaper up against the wall like this,
03:08and it wrapped itself around my arm like a boa constrictor.
03:12Well, any other time, that'd make you laugh.
03:15Would you care to go into the snake pit with me and try for a few drinks?
03:18Sure.
03:20Look, I have a feeling that you've had your last accident of the evening.
03:24No, maybe you're right.
03:28What's the matter?
03:30Splinter.
03:33Now, come on.
03:41Now let's take a look at the boa constrictors of yours.
03:44Hold it against the wall.
03:46Wall?
03:48Like this?
03:49Now reach for the yardstick.
03:57Funny?
03:58Well, what's the big idea of holding it against the wall anyway?
04:01Mainly because it's wallpaper.
04:04Look, all you want to do is to see the pattern, right?
04:06Here.
04:07I guess you're right.
04:09Sure, I'm right.
04:15Now.
04:16Here's the one I picked out for this room.
04:18You hold it down at that end.
04:21What do you think?
04:23Let me look at it.
04:27Time to laugh now, Albert?
04:29Don't be ridiculous, Elizabeth.
04:30Get something to put on it.
04:31Here, a book or something.
04:37Elizabeth, let me get...
04:38Look, put the book down there on that end.
04:40I'll hold it down here.
04:42See what you think of this one.
04:43That isn't bad.
04:44I thought you put a book down at the end.
04:45Well, I did, but you didn't.
04:47Elizabeth, let me have this one.
04:48Now, wait a minute.
04:49No, no, wait a minute.
04:54What's so funny?
04:56Nothing, I'm hysterical.
04:58I thought your sense of humor would take over by now.
05:01Wait a minute.
05:02Honey, give me another book.
05:03You're not hysterical.
05:04You did think of something.
05:05Give me another book.
05:06Book.
05:07Yeah.
05:08All right, now come here.
05:11You come around here.
05:14Here.
05:15Take that.
05:18Okay, you ready?
05:20What are we doing?
05:22A dime says this roll is faster than yours.
05:25Okay.
05:26Here we go.
05:27One, two, three, go.
05:32Hey, wait a minute.
05:33This is fun.
05:35Let's have another go at it.
05:36Hey, now, wait a minute.
05:37Oh, now, now, honey, you pushed yours.
05:39That's not fair.
05:40No, I didn't, honey.
05:41These are just faster colors than those, that's all.
05:44I shall leave you at this point, Elizabeth.
05:47Why?
05:48I think there's some faster wallpaper out in the garage.
05:50I'll be right back.
05:53Elizabeth, a big girl like you, aren't you ashamed?
06:02The number two in the life of Elizabeth
06:04occurred because she's a little on the tender-hearted side
06:08when it comes to animals.
06:10I wouldn't want to say she overdoes this tendency,
06:13but Alvin might.
06:19Okay, fellas, dinner's ready.
06:23Let me wash up, honey, and I'll be right with you.
06:26Not you, silly.
06:27I mean the birds.
06:29Look, darling, aren't they cute?
06:31I don't see any birds.
06:33They're still in the bushes.
06:35There's Charlie over there.
06:38And there's Rupert up in the tree.
06:40Look.
06:41Rupert?
06:42I call him Rupert because he's so many different colors.
06:45Rupert colors?
06:47No, Rupert Hughes.
06:52Oh, Rupert.
06:54I've had the bird a lot of times,
06:55but I've never seen a situation like that.
06:59Get a load of the buzzard over by the fence.
07:03Buzzard.
07:04Morning, Mrs. Skinridge.
07:07Just feeding the birds.
07:09How do you like that?
07:10I'd like to look over there one time
07:11without seeing her head hanging over the fence.
07:14You know, I'm beginning to forget
07:15what the rest of her looks like.
07:17Oh, she's very thin.
07:20Matter of fact, you see those two fence posts
07:22standing right next to each other?
07:23Yeah.
07:24Wave to the one on the left.
07:31She'll be watching every move we make
07:33the rest of the afternoon.
07:35I bet that we'll have one day
07:37when I can look over there
07:38and not see that head hanging over the fence.
07:41Gets to be part of the pack.
07:45What are you looking at?
07:47I'm just looking at these ants.
07:51Is this leading up to a joke about uncles?
07:54Seriously, darling.
07:56They say ants are the most intelligent form of life.
08:00Look at this.
08:03Look, honey.
08:05Hundreds of them all busily engaged
08:06in some kind of work, see?
08:09I'll say one thing for them.
08:10They're quiet.
08:12Sure they're quiet.
08:13They're all barefooted.
08:17I don't see anything intelligent about ants.
08:20Look at them.
08:21They keep bumping into each other.
08:22Don't forget I've seen you drive a car.
08:26I still say they're not intelligent.
08:29Look at that stoop trying to carry a telephone pole.
08:32If he's so smart, why doesn't somebody help him?
08:35Maybe the others all belong
08:36to a different union or something.
08:39Uh-oh, uh-oh.
08:40Look at stoop.
08:41He's having trouble.
08:43There's a pebble in the road.
08:46Oh, that won't bother Fred.
08:47He'll go around it.
08:50Fred?
08:51That's his name.
08:52Fred's a genius.
08:53He'll go around the pebble.
08:54Watch.
08:56Bet you a dime he tries to carry the telephone pole
08:59over the top of the pebble.
09:01A bet.
09:02Bet.
09:03Now don't crowd him, Alvin.
09:04Give him room.
09:06He's coming up to the pebble.
09:08Over the top, Fred.
09:09Over the top.
09:10Go around it, Fred.
09:11There's lots of room.
09:12Come on, Fred.
09:13Come on, don't listen to Alvin.
09:14Come on.
09:15All right, Fred.
09:16He's going up.
09:17He's got it.
09:18Oh, ha, ha.
09:19Stoop can play at that game.
09:20All right, Fred.
09:23Oh, no, Fred.
09:24You're giving him signals.
09:25Come on.
09:26What do you mean signals?
09:27I'm not doing any more than you.
09:28Fred, come on.
09:29Fred.
09:30No, Fred.
09:31Come on.
09:32Come on.
09:33Come on.
09:34Get out of my way.
09:35Get out of my way.
09:38Hi, Mrs. Skinridge.
09:40It was the ant.
09:43He was carrying a telephone pole.
09:45He had a bet.
09:48Never mind.
09:50She thinks we've flipped our lid anyway.
09:52He's kind of carried away.
09:55I mean, you don't think her head is caught in the fence, do you?
10:04Elizabeth, did you know that we have a baby volcano on our front lawn?
10:09Where?
10:10Right there, that little mountain.
10:12Oh, that.
10:14That's Floyd's house.
10:17Who's Floyd?
10:19Friend of Rupert's.
10:21Elizabeth, when you start naming worms, you've gone too far.
10:25Alvin, do you really think I'd be so silly as to give a name to a worm?
10:29Well, don't forget, I just meant friend.
10:31Now, who's this character, Floyd?
10:34A gopher.
10:35A gopher?
10:37Seriously, honey, he's so cute, and he's smart, too.
10:40I'm teaching him to sit up.
10:43How can you say a thing like that?
10:45Gophers are pests.
10:47Why, they chew the roots of all of the plants.
10:49You watch, in three months' time, that little beast will chew every plant that we have.
10:53They even pull them down from under the ground.
10:56Not Floyd.
10:57They do.
10:58He doesn't even like roots.
11:00I feed him carrots and warm cereal.
11:03Oh, sweetie, his beady little eyes light up in excitement when I drink them.
11:19Maybe you can explain that to Elizabeth.
11:23Maybe you watered it too much, and it shrank.
11:28I intend to do something about that gopher, and that's all there is to it.
11:31Oh, please, honey.
11:33After all, that's the very first plant he's ever eaten.
11:35It'll be the last plant he'll eat, too.
11:37Oh, no, he's so cute.
11:39And besides, that's a great big plant.
11:41It'll probably be weeks before he can finish all that.
11:44Please?
11:45Oh, please.
11:47Well, if Floyd means that much to you, dear.
12:03Probably be a couple of weeks, huh?
12:06Well, maybe he's giving a party.
12:09Can't you see what he's doing?
12:11He's coming right down the line.
12:13And this one is next on his list.
12:16I never saw the day that one measly little gopher could eat three whole plants.
12:20One maybe, possibly two, but...
12:36How do you like that? Termites.
12:40I'll fix him.
12:43Look out, Floyd!
12:47He's getting a hammer.
12:48Won't do you any good to warn him.
12:49I'll stay here three weeks if I have to.
12:51Come out of there, Floyd.
12:52He's not kidding.
12:53Floyd, I'm not kidding as well.
12:56Here he comes.
12:57Here he comes.
12:58Forget it.
12:59Oh!
13:01Oh, dirt in my face.
13:02How could you?
13:03Floyd!
13:05Oh, he's in there.
13:06Beast.
13:07You make one false move and eat my plants.
13:09Would you come out of there, Floyd?
13:11Floyd.
13:15Alvin, here's Floyd.
13:16Never mind that.
13:17I want to get a little bit...
13:19Delight.
13:21Oh, isn't he cute?
13:23He has another entrance over there, darling.
13:25Are you sure he's not right?
13:26Come on.
13:27Now, how could you be mean to a little fella like this?
13:31Hey, I think he likes me.
13:33Well, sure he does.
13:35Now, aren't you ashamed for...
13:36Come back here.
13:37Aren't you ashamed for ruining his house?
13:39Hey, I think he winked at me.
13:40Hi, Floyd.
13:43Darling, he's crying.
13:45Oh, good.
13:46He's crying.
13:50Uncle Alvin's going to fix you a nice new house.
13:53Look at him.
13:54We'll put him all over the yard.
14:03Hi.
14:04Hi, Mrs. Skinrich.
14:07Alvin was digging a hole for a gopher.
14:11Name's Floyd.
14:17Number three in the life of Elizabeth
14:19started out as just another one of those nights.
14:22Elizabeth was finishing up the dinner dishes
14:24and Alvin was on the phone
14:26talking to his friend, Harry.
14:29Yeah, I'm sorry, Harry.
14:30No poker tonight.
14:32We've been trapped.
14:34Guess what we'll be doing?
14:36Babysitting.
14:38Don't ask me how it happened.
14:40All I know is we're taking care of one of the neighbor's kids.
14:44Now, Elizabeth met this kid's mother.
14:46It's a woman she hardly knows, by the way,
14:48and they started making these female-type arrangements
14:50and all of a sudden I'm a father.
14:54Yeah, we'll have to make it some other night.
14:56Yeah.
14:57Okay, Harry.
14:58Bye.
15:04Who was that, honey?
15:05I was just explaining to Harry
15:06why we're babysitting tonight.
15:07Now maybe you'd explain it to me.
15:09Who was this kid, anyway?
15:11Well, I told you, darling.
15:13You see, I have to walk by the school on my way to the market.
15:16And this little kid just happened to see me
15:19and you know how kids are.
15:21Yeah, he sounds like a little wolf.
15:23Anyway, his mother says she has quite a problem with him
15:26and he doesn't like most people.
15:28Oh, he sounds delightful.
15:31So, when she said that he seemed to like me,
15:33I was kind of flattered.
15:36Before I knew what I was saying,
15:37I told her she could send him over here some evening.
15:40His name's Eddie Miller.
15:42Oh, well, sweetie.
15:43Let's make the best of it.
15:51Now, wait a minute.
15:52It's not that little smart aleck down the block, is it?
15:55I don't know, darling.
15:56I've never seen the boy.
15:57See, he saw me when I walked by the school.
15:59No, no, you know the one I mean, honey.
16:01That little freckle-faced monster that stopped me a few days ago
16:03and asked me why it rained.
16:05What did you tell him?
16:06Well, I told him it rained so things would grow,
16:08like pears and apples and flowers and so on.
16:11Hmm?
16:12What'd he say?
16:13He said, oh, yeah?
16:14Then how come it rains on the sidewalk?
16:20Oh, kids are funny.
16:22Yeah.
16:23I used to embarrass my mother all the time.
16:27She must have changed a lot.
16:30Now, cut that out.
16:36I remember we had this neighbor of ours was sick, you know?
16:39Mm-hmm.
16:40And Mama said, Elizabeth, go on over and see how old Mrs. Cooper is this morning.
16:45Then what happened?
16:47Mrs. Cooper said it was none of Mama's business.
16:54I don't think it happened many years ago.
16:55Well, we can't sit here reminiscing.
16:57We have to get ready.
16:59What I like about you, Elizabeth, when you're through with the conversation,
17:01you don't fool around.
17:03Here, you want to open that?
17:05What is it?
17:06Well, I thought we ought to have some toys for Eddie to play with.
17:13Honey, if the kid's in school, he won't want to play with blocks.
17:17You never know, honey.
17:20Oh, he'll love this.
17:24Why don't you make arrangements to have us babysit with a 19-year-old brunette or something?
17:30Now, let's both go to the door and make the little fella feel welcome.
17:33All right, Eddie.
17:37Come on in, Eddie.
17:46Excuse me, we were expecting someone else.
17:50You hear what my wife said?
17:51We were expecting someone else.
17:52College fraternity's down the street a couple blocks.
17:55We don't need any subscriptions, young man.
17:58I'm Eddie Miller.
17:59Eddie Miller?
18:02Is this the kid?
18:04I don't know.
18:06He's so big and intelligent-looking.
18:10Mama sent me over.
18:13Oh, come on in, Eddie.
18:15Right on over there.
18:16We got some toys for you to play with.
18:19Alvin.
18:22You go right here and sit right down.
18:42What are we talking...
18:44How old are you, Eddie?
18:4519.
18:47Here, darling.
18:48A 19-year-old brunette.
18:52What school do you go to, Eddie?
18:55What school do you go to, Eddie?
18:57City College.
18:59Maybe I didn't say it right.
19:02Are you a sophomore, son?
19:06I say, are you a sophomore?
19:08Are you a sophomore, Eddie?
19:10Oh, yes.
19:13Alvin, don't tease the boy.
19:15Well, it's a little difficult trying to be sociable
19:17looking at a head of hair.
19:19Eddie's just shy, aren't you, Eddie?
19:22Well...
19:30Okay, you can turn back now.
19:32I'd forgotten what you looked like.
19:34Alvin, please.
19:37Why don't you take these toys in the other room?
19:40The amount of intelligence the boy's shown so far,
19:43I'd better not take the toys too far away.
19:51Now then.
19:54Eddie, you don't have to be shy with me.
19:58You know something?
20:00You act like a boy in love.
20:04Well, I am.
20:06I thought so.
20:08And you want somebody to talk it over with, is that it?
20:10Mm-hmm.
20:11Tell me all about her.
20:13Well, she's...
20:15She's wonderful, and she's beautiful,
20:17and I love her.
20:19Of course, she's a little older than I am.
20:21Well, that shouldn't make a bit of difference
20:23if you really love her.
20:25Oh, I love her.
20:26But it's hopeless.
20:28Now, true love is never hopeless.
20:31Besides, she'd be a lucky girl to have a fellow like you.
20:34She doesn't even know I exist.
20:37Then you must do something about it.
20:40I'll help you.
20:41Who is she?
20:43You.
20:44What?
20:46I...
20:48I...
20:50Hey, are you sure you want me there?
20:56I hate him.
20:59Now, Eddie, you mustn't talk like that.
21:01He's my husband, and I love him.
21:04Oh, I know it's hopeless.
21:06In fact, the only thing to do in a case like this
21:08is kill myself.
21:11Now, Eddie, will you listen to me for a minute?
21:13You know, you're really being awfully nice
21:15about this whole thing.
21:16I know it must be pretty tough on you
21:18to be married to a...
21:20a nasty old man like that.
21:24Alvin isn't nasty.
21:28I mean, he... he was.
21:31Every time he comes near you,
21:33I want to throttle him with my bare hands.
21:36Now, Eddie, you're just excited.
21:39So am I.
21:41School. Let's talk about school.
21:44They, um...
21:46They say the square of the hypotenuse
21:48is a nice thing to have on a right triangle.
21:52When he touches you, my blood boils.
21:57What's, um...
21:59What's new in algebra?
22:02Don't worry.
22:04I realize how hopeless it is.
22:07But after I kill myself,
22:09I think I'll kill him.
22:14Eddie, now listen to me.
22:16Well, how's the little old baby coming along, huh?
22:20Alvin, please.
22:21Huh?
22:22We're getting along just fine, darling.
22:24You can't tell me a kid this big needs a babysitter.
22:28I'll bet he maneuvered the whole thing
22:30just to be near you, huh, Elizabeth?
22:32Well, you never know what a boy like Eddie's thinking, Alvin.
22:36Why don't you go change the needle on the phonograph?
22:40Hey, wait a minute.
22:41We don't have any phonographs.
22:44Something's talking too much.
22:47She's always telling these funny jokes.
22:49Don't you wish you had a girl like this, Eddie, huh?
22:53Aw.
22:55Aw.
23:15Wait a minute.
23:16What's going on here anyway?
23:17Nothing, nothing, Alvin.
23:19Eddie and I were just talking about
23:21the hypotenuse of a right triangle.
23:25Now there's a stupid sentence I haven't heard before.
23:27Don't you talk to her like that, you nasty old man.
23:32I love her, and you don't deserve an angel like the...
23:42Let me belt the kid once.
23:44No, Alvin, he's calming down.
23:46Hey, can I have this?
23:48Let me give him this.
23:49This will do him more good.
23:51Yes, you may have that.
23:53It's a picture of my sister.
23:56Gee, she's cool.
23:58She looks just like you.
24:02She isn't married either.
24:08May I put my arm around her now, Eddie?
24:11Sure, go ahead.
24:12Thanks.
24:13Oh, boy, wait till the fellas at school see this.
24:17What are you laughing about?
24:19I was just thinking.
24:22What a goldmine this college is going to be
24:25if you ever get out of line.
24:29Now I don't have to kill myself.
24:31And one thing you can't do,
24:33you've got to stop picking on this nasty old man.
24:36That was the funniest thing that happened
24:37after you came in the door,
24:38and I had these blocks of all things.
24:40I spent at least four or five years old.
24:42I even said, if you're going to say anything,
24:43you want to play with Eddie?
24:44Say goodbye to the people.
24:46Goodbye, everybody.
24:47There's one other funny thing I like.