00:00 The more you are capable of aloneness, the more you are capable of love.
00:09 It is a paradox, but go into it.
00:17 Meet as you meet a lover.
00:22 Don't take the other for granted.
00:26 Don't expect that the other would answer the doorbell.
00:32 Don't expect that the other would always be available when you knock.
00:42 Instead meet as lovers do.
00:45 Date each other.
00:48 Then there is a freshness.
00:54 Relationships get spoiled when people cling to each other.
01:03 Then there is just sweat, physical contact and stink.
01:18 Then all that you want is a little separation, a little distance.
01:30 If you really want heart to heart contact, let the bodies be a little separated.
01:39 And by that I do not mean sexual abstinence.
01:45 By that I mean that you do not really have to be in the same physical space, the same
01:51 shared physical space all the time.
01:57 Nobody can bear to keep looking at the same face again and again 24 hours a day.
02:06 Give decent space to each other.
02:11 Sometimes disappear from the other's life.
02:15 Don't keep clinging.
02:16 Tu jaha jaha chalega, mera saya saath hoga.
02:28 To the extent that we have a double commode.
02:41 That is the height of love.
02:49 How can I leave my poor spouse unattended?
02:58 I am not going to leave her even after death.
03:02 Not even Yamraj can take her away from me.
03:09 How can the washroom dare to do what even Yamraj cannot do?
03:21 Even the idea stinks, does it not?
03:25 We all need space.
03:28 Man's inner nature is freedom.
03:31 When I say man, I mean both man and woman, mankind.
03:40 Just as you need free mental space, you also need free physical space.
03:52 In fact, I find the idea of a shared bed quite vulgar.
04:02 The double bed is an invitation to trouble.
04:07 The double bed makes it mandatory that you will necessarily sleep next to the designated
04:15 person.
04:16 Now, this can never be a mandate.
04:21 There must only be single beds and preferably in separate rooms.
04:25 When you want to meet, then only you should meet, as lovers do.
04:36 Sometimes they decide to be in union and only when sometimes you decide to be in physical
04:44 union, then you are in perpetual Atmic union.
04:56 When sex and physical nearness of all kinds start dominating a relationship, then the
05:04 juice dries down.
05:09 Now the other is just a body for you.
05:11 Body for the sake of having sex, body for the sake of upkeep.
05:19 To treat somebody as a body does not necessarily mean that you are always looking sexually
05:27 at the other.
05:29 It also means that you are concerned with nothing else but the body of the other.
05:37 So when the husband says that all that I have is lust towards you, of course, he is looking
05:43 at the wife as a body.
05:45 But equally when the wife is bothered only about the physical health of the husband,
05:52 she too is just looking at the husband as a body.
05:55 Have you not seen mothers?
05:59 All that they are bothered about is the health of the child.
06:02 You ask them, is the child growing in wisdom?
06:06 They would not know.
06:08 All that they know is whether the child has had his meals, is dressed properly, has been
06:13 taking regular baths.
06:17 They would know the weight of the child.
06:19 They would never know the soul of the child.
06:23 Same with the husband.
06:27 Internally the husband is being strangulated, but externally you want to keep him healthy
06:33 and shining.
06:39 You very well know that he must have all the vitamins and proteins in breakfast, but you
06:43 do not know what is the nourishment that the mind needs.
06:51 That too is just the treatment of the other as merely a body.
07:09 You worry a lot when the husband falls sick, physically sick, if he has fever, but you
07:15 do not worry when you see that the husband has no inclination towards spirituality.
07:29 You do not worry when you see that the husband is corrupt and violent, just mechanical.
07:51 Stop seeing other as merely a body.
07:54 Then you will not bother about the other's physical presence so much.
08:03 Then it will be alright for you to sleep on single beds.
08:09 Then it will be alright for you to sometimes not cook meals for him or her.
08:18 Then marriage will not be a problem.
08:22 Marriage will not be a problem when your own life is not a problem to you.
08:28 First of all solve your own life.
08:29 .
08:30 .
08:32 .
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