- 2 years ago
Aspiring British playwright "Jemima Kirke" and her husband work through inklings of a stale marriage HD ( Drama )
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Oh, well. Never mind.
00:00:07What?
00:00:08Never mind. We can't go in now.
00:00:10Well, how do you know?
00:00:11You what?
00:00:12How do you know?
00:00:13Well, where are you going? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:00:14Quick!
00:00:15No, no, no. Come on.
00:00:16No, it's such bullshit that you can die from this.
00:00:18It's actually very good for your skin.
00:00:20Shit from up my nose.
00:00:23It really bothers you, does it?
00:00:25What?
00:00:26Just a bit of fun on your face.
00:00:28Would you like that?
00:00:29Go on, drink it.
00:00:30Would you like that?
00:00:31Come on.
00:00:37Yeah, all right, go on then.
00:00:39If you can't jump in the sea, then we're going to go for a quick run.
00:00:42Wait a minute.
00:00:43Come in there now.
00:00:45Right.
00:00:46Come on, sweetheart.
00:00:47I'm coming.
00:00:48You can do it. You can do it.
00:00:51All right, I've got it.
00:00:53Take it easy.
00:00:54I've got it. It's all right.
00:00:56You won't fall. Look at me.
00:00:57I've got it.
00:00:58Oh, come on, Oliver.
00:00:59All right.
00:01:00What are you doing?
00:01:01I just slipped.
00:01:04Cheater.
00:01:05Look.
00:01:06Oh, isn't it beautiful up here?
00:01:07Yeah.
00:01:08Oh.
00:01:09Oh.
00:01:10Oh.
00:01:11Oh.
00:01:12Oh.
00:01:13Oh.
00:01:14Oh.
00:01:15Oh.
00:01:16Oh.
00:01:22I love living here.
00:01:26It's just, it's perfect for me.
00:01:31I love getting up in the morning and being able to just come out here,
00:01:35see this, go back home, keep writing.
00:01:39It's like, it's the dream.
00:01:41Yeah.
00:01:43I mean, I know that living here is not full of opportunity,
00:01:46but in terms of being an artist and in terms of atmosphere
00:01:50and in terms of inspiration, this, there's nowhere else.
00:01:55New York, L.A., whatever, these big cities, that's, of course, London.
00:02:00These are the places where, you know,
00:02:02if you really want to get your career off the ground,
00:02:04but I'm not quite there yet.
00:02:07Lots of people work at Cardiff as well.
00:02:10You could commute to Cardiff from here.
00:02:13You could still have all of this.
00:02:15Yeah.
00:02:21It's brilliant for kids here.
00:02:23That's my only gripe with it.
00:02:25If I could change it, it would just be a few less families here, less kids.
00:02:32You know, it is getting a bit crowded.
00:02:54Oh.
00:03:00Oh.
00:03:02Oh.
00:03:04Oh.
00:03:09Oh.
00:03:11Oh.
00:03:16Oh.
00:03:23Oh.
00:03:25Oh.
00:03:27Oh.
00:03:29Oh.
00:03:31Oh.
00:03:33Oh.
00:03:35Oh.
00:03:39Why?
00:03:40Why?
00:03:41Why?
00:03:43Oh, oh, are you kidding me?
00:03:46Why are you...
00:03:48Oh, God, just do it normally.
00:03:52No, it's just...
00:03:54No, no, no, no, no.
00:03:56Do not. Do not.
00:03:57No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:04:02I don't like it.
00:04:05Can you just cut me?
00:04:07OK.
00:04:10Mm-hm, that's nice.
00:04:12Mm-hm, mm-hm.
00:04:19You told my mother to fuck off last night.
00:04:26All I told her was that we needed to establish some boundaries.
00:04:29That's all I said.
00:04:31Yeah, but you're late, though.
00:04:32What's the hold-up, or...?
00:04:34Janet, hi. Sorry, it's...
00:04:36Yeah, we go.
00:04:37Hi, it's Gillian.
00:04:39Did you break down? Are you on the way?
00:04:41No, we're not late. I'm sorry, we're not coming.
00:04:43Did he not tell you?
00:04:44When? God, I was...
00:04:46Can you stop calling my husband at this time of night?
00:04:49No, I know we're not at dinner.
00:04:51I know we're not at dinner. I know it's not that late.
00:04:54But it's my husband, and at some point you need to understand
00:04:58that I'm the woman in his life,
00:05:00and that sometimes I want to stay home with my grown husband...
00:05:04Are you just giving me the phone back now?
00:05:06No, no, no, no, no. No, you're not going to speak to your son.
00:05:09This is a sick, sick relationship.
00:05:13You're going to have to sort that out.
00:05:15There's a shitstorm coming of your making, of all day yesterday.
00:05:18You were a bit, let's be honest, you started off,
00:05:21and it might have been a bit of me, but you were a bit touchier.
00:05:25Wasn't it, with all the bin stuff?
00:05:27Do you know how easy it would have been for you to just say,
00:05:31thanks?
00:05:33Thanks, Gillian, that was so nice of you to let me sleep in
00:05:36and to take out the trash for me.
00:05:38I mean, wow, wow.
00:05:40Next time, you sleep in, Gillian, you sleep in,
00:05:44and I'll do the... I'll do everything else.
00:05:47Oh, no, don't pull that card on me now.
00:05:49I have to work at night. Yeah.
00:05:51I'm really sorry, that's what I have to do.
00:05:53Yeah, on the nights that you do have work,
00:05:55but you didn't have work last night.
00:05:57If you're up all night...
00:06:00Don't even. I didn't even. It was a...
00:06:03It was going to be a fucking slap in the head.
00:06:06We both should be doing a bigger job right now.
00:06:08Job? I think I'm the one with a job, though, aren't I?
00:06:11I'm the one who goes out and earns money.
00:06:14Yes, you get paid, you get paid your...
00:06:16Whatever it is.
00:06:18100 quid, I don't know.
00:06:20150. 150. Minimum.
00:06:22What am I paying for? The food, the roof over our head?
00:06:24Not the roof over our head, are you?
00:06:26Well, no. Well, bills.
00:06:28I'm paying for the bills.
00:06:30But actually, you know what, I kind of am paying for the roof over our head.
00:06:33It's my mum.
00:06:35It's not your mum.
00:06:37It's my mum.
00:06:39It is a bit weird that we live in a roof that your mum has paid for.
00:06:44You know what, why don't we just go and do our work that your mum gave us?
00:06:49OK, so I would like, first of all, everyone offstage.
00:06:52Offstage, cos I want to start from the top.
00:06:55That way. Which way? That way. That way.
00:06:57Yeah. Who put the fucking flowers there?
00:07:00In this place ran Cassius Dagger through,
00:07:02see what a rent the envious Casca made.
00:07:04And Tanya, go.
00:07:05Love is merely a madness.
00:07:07Craig, don't stop.
00:07:09Don't stop. Don't stop.
00:07:11Do you want me to stop? Just listen. No, I want you guys to keep going.
00:07:13Just listen to me. Just do it. Just do it. Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
00:07:16And I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a whip as madmen.
00:07:18Judas, the well-beloved brutus, stabbed.
00:07:20And as he plucked his cursed steel away,
00:07:22Mark held the blood of Caesar,
00:07:24fallen it as rushing out of doors.
00:07:26What are you doing there? What are you reading?
00:07:28Julia Caesar, but this is utterly pointless,
00:07:30cos you can't hear us all at the same time, can you?
00:07:32No, but that's the point. I don't want to hear you all at the same time.
00:07:35I want to hear the ambience of the sound.
00:07:37It's a warm-up for me. It's a warm-up for me, OK?
00:07:40You should have warmed up before you came to rehearsals,
00:07:42just like we did. Are you telling me what I should have done?
00:07:44What's with everyone being so fucking aggressive this morning?
00:07:47I don't understand what happened to everyone this morning.
00:07:50I was fine!
00:07:52You know what? If you don't want to listen to me,
00:07:54then don't. Do what you think it should be and I'll watch.
00:07:58From women's eyes, this doctrine I derive
00:08:02to sparkle still the right Promethean fire.
00:08:07Hi.
00:08:09Hi, I'm Rachel. Oh, my God.
00:08:12Sorry, I don't have... We don't have the space for another actor.
00:08:15No, that's Rachel. It's not another actor, it's Rachel, isn't it?
00:08:18It's not one of those... Come you, carry on.
00:08:21Come you!
00:08:23Go on, do it, do it, do it.
00:08:26How are you? I'm good, how are you?
00:08:29Really good. Sorry, I thought that you were an actor
00:08:33because you were on the stage. I was like, ugh.
00:08:36Oh, sorry, we go back... We do.
00:08:39..and we used to do this Shakespeare thing at school.
00:08:42Do you remember when we had to pair up and do the speech? Of course!
00:08:45And I just thought it would be a funny thing, so I just got up there.
00:08:49And it's quite scary when you have all the lights on you and stuff.
00:08:52Yeah, well, that's why you have to be trained as an actor.
00:08:55Guys, I'm really sorry. I know.
00:08:58This one, I did not foresee this.
00:09:01And, yeah, I'm sure you're really good.
00:09:04From women's eyes, this doctrine I derive
00:09:08to sparkle still the great Promethean fire.
00:09:12Wow. Are we not doing that one, though?
00:09:15We're not doing that one. I'm sorry, guys, I'm so sorry.
00:09:19The paid ones, they're, like, stood there, like, reading it.
00:09:23She didn't even have a book and she knew it all.
00:09:25Oh, stop that now. What?
00:09:27Why don't we just go and call up Rachel now
00:09:29and we go and take a picture of her and blow it up really big
00:09:32and then we'll print, like, 5,000 of them
00:09:34and we'll just have Rachel be the poster
00:09:37and then we just put Shakespeare over it
00:09:39and it's just Rachel being like...
00:09:41You know, and then underneath, we'll just put in a tiny, tiny, tiny bit.
00:09:45Just give me a little corner that says,
00:09:47by Gillian, by Gillian blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
00:09:50and just, like, fuck my last name, fuck it.
00:09:52Just let it fall off the end. I think she'll look great.
00:09:55I was trying to help then. Just send them tickets for your thing.
00:09:58You're probably dropping bombs yesterday, weren't you?
00:10:01Everything's going all right. Let's have a chat with my dad.
00:10:04He's cool, cos he is. You have a go at my mam with the stabby.
00:10:08Gillian, did you meet Rachel?
00:10:11Can I adopt you? Would you like to?
00:10:15Have you met her?
00:10:17Oh!
00:10:19Yeah, she's, um...
00:10:23Ollie, I'm dying!
00:10:25You've done something really important and special and meaningful.
00:10:28Any mother-in-law would be proud of you.
00:10:32SHE SCREAMS
00:10:37Is she OK? I don't know if she is OK.
00:10:40If you won't help me...
00:10:43Oh!
00:10:45I'll save you, Gillian.
00:10:47She's killing herself.
00:10:49Oh, no, she's dying.
00:10:52I loved you.
00:10:54All I did was love you.
00:10:57Her guts are on the floor. Let's put them back in.
00:11:00Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry.
00:11:02I was not expecting that.
00:11:04I was just being stupid.
00:11:07Bit of a drama queen, aren't you?
00:11:09She does, doesn't she? She loves it, doesn't she?
00:11:11Yeah, she does, she loves it. Well, she's done all of this, mind.
00:11:14Yeah, she did all of that.
00:11:16Hello, how are you?
00:11:18Honours, Father.
00:11:20Are you around tonight to come round for dinner?
00:11:22David, are we around tonight?
00:11:24Can we go to Clare and Dick's with her and the rest of the family?
00:11:27Oh! We're doing ribs.
00:11:29Oh! Ribs!
00:11:31Oh, ribs! Sorry! Thank you very much.
00:11:33Are you coming, Ollie Pop? Oh!
00:11:35Oh, yeah, I'm going, yeah.
00:11:37Oh, good, good, good. Thank God for that.
00:11:39And then making me not go to that meal?
00:11:41You were here, stop being...
00:11:43Are you... Are you making you not go to that meal?
00:11:46You've got to sell some tickets. You!
00:11:48You said sorry to me. I did.
00:11:50You said sorry, and then it was so nice that we decided to stay in
00:11:53and we stayed... You did... You offered to stay in, making you go.
00:11:56Suddenly it's... We're right back here, aren't we?
00:11:59We're right back. Lots of people know, eh?
00:12:01Can you stop? Can you stop?
00:12:04Stop this, OK?
00:12:06It is not cool that you make this whole thing about motherfucking Rachel.
00:12:10PHONE RINGS
00:12:15Mike.
00:12:18This is Shakespeare Extravaganza, sir.
00:12:21What do you mean, off?
00:12:23We've had some serious health and safety issues at the theatre today.
00:12:26The theatre's closed. I'm up to my fucking eyeballs in it, mate.
00:12:30OK, before you say the theatre's...
00:12:32Before you all get all up, you know, the theatre's closed,
00:12:35how long's it going to take to fix it?
00:12:39Two weeks.
00:12:41Two, three weeks, minimum.
00:12:43Three weeks, but we've got a show in four days, mate, so what?
00:12:46But you can't...
00:12:48What?
00:12:50I'm not putting the lives of the public at risk.
00:12:52I am sorry, but this is it.
00:12:54We're just going to jump in the van now and...
00:12:57I'm up to my ankles in shit.
00:12:59Oh, my God. I can't.
00:13:01Of course you can't. I can't get there. You've got to drive me down there.
00:13:04I don't realise what time it is. I have a meeting.
00:13:06Gillian's going to drive me down there now in the van.
00:13:08I'll speak to you in a minute, OK?
00:13:10OK, on the way, on the way, on the way.
00:13:12OK, I'm going. Bye.
00:13:14Come on. I'm not driving you down there now.
00:13:16I actually do have a meeting.
00:13:18Schedule it again. Change it. I've been preparing for this.
00:13:20I've already redrafted the play for this very meeting.
00:13:22I have to go.
00:13:24There's sewage seeping all through the place.
00:13:26Seepage were the words he said. Yes.
00:13:28And it's going to be everywhere, so we can't really...
00:13:30I'm going. You can't just go like that.
00:13:32Where do you think you're going? Come on.
00:13:36How am I going to get down there now?
00:13:38Huh?
00:13:40You're going to leave me here like this?
00:13:42How am I going to get to my...?
00:13:44Sorry? Are you seriously just going to leave me here now?
00:13:46You're going to go and just leave now? Yeah.
00:13:48You're just going to drive away now? Yeah.
00:13:50But I love you. What? You've got to be...
00:13:58You...
00:14:02You...
00:14:16Oh!
00:14:18What?
00:14:20Hello.
00:14:22I've been walking you like...
00:14:24And you've just been...
00:14:26Sitting.
00:14:28Hi. Hiya.
00:14:30Oh, yeah. Hi. Hi.
00:14:31Look, I'm... So funny.
00:14:33I just want to say straight away, I'm so sorry
00:14:37that we couldn't make it last night. I'm so sorry.
00:14:39Not cool.
00:14:41I knew it was going to be not cool, but as well...
00:14:44Someone cooks chops and chops and marinades and...
00:14:49Mm. Six hours.
00:14:51Delicious, sticky barbecue sauce. Oh.
00:14:54I'm joking. I don't give a fuck.
00:14:57Oh. I'm joking. Oh, really?
00:14:59You didn't believe me. I totally did believe you as well, yeah.
00:15:02Oh, wow. Woo! OK.
00:15:04So, we're OK, yeah? I'm fine.
00:15:06OK, we can forget. I mean, we missed you.
00:15:08And Gillian. I did a little thing for her.
00:15:12Oh, did you?
00:15:14It's too keen, isn't it? No, it's just kind of, you know...
00:15:18It's fine, it's fine.
00:15:19She's, like, hard not to crack, isn't she?
00:15:21Well, no.
00:15:23You came into a slightly tense environment.
00:15:26I know you're kind of a bit worried about it,
00:15:28but, Gillian, we were talking about you.
00:15:30You were fantastic when you were on the stage.
00:15:31Yeah, you were in a bunch of professional actors
00:15:34and you just kind of entered
00:15:37and naturally have a feel for the language.
00:15:40Stop it. Yeah.
00:15:41It's just, like, Gillian's even mentioned about you
00:15:43maybe kind of on a poster or something, if we could...
00:15:46OK, you're taking the mic now.
00:15:47I wish I was, but I'm not. Seriously.
00:15:49And that was all her. Because I've always thought about it.
00:15:51It was all her. We were talking about it.
00:15:52From women's eyes, this doctrine I derive
00:15:57to sparkle still, the right Promethean fire.
00:16:02Hark! What is that I hear?
00:16:05Gillian's men are slain?
00:16:07I must go in the middle of the night
00:16:09and seek for Oliver's comfort.
00:16:12Look, I'm...
00:16:13I'm really sorry, but I...
00:16:14Oh, I've got to go. Oh, yeah.
00:16:16I'm sorry, I'm not going to always do this to you and Gillian,
00:16:19but I've got to get to the pavilion.
00:16:20I'll walk with you. Are you sure?
00:16:21I don't want to force you to go. No, no, no.
00:16:23I was going that way. Yeah?
00:16:24Yeah, yeah.
00:16:25So nice to see you.
00:16:27LO, you've got through to Oliver's phone.
00:16:29Please leave a message after the tone.
00:16:32BEEP
00:16:33Hi, Olly. It's Gillian.
00:16:36I got here.
00:16:38I got here in one piece and, um...
00:16:42Listen, I'm sorry for the way everything just went down.
00:16:47I was just nervous about this morning
00:16:49and I should have been more communicative.
00:16:52I wish I could get you on the phone.
00:16:53I was thinking about, uh...
00:16:56About the show and I thought maybe,
00:16:58what if we just change the venue or, like, push it back?
00:17:03I mean, these kinds of things happen.
00:17:05I mean, this is not the be-all, end-all.
00:17:08Um...
00:17:10Anyway, let me know what you think and, uh...
00:17:15I love you and call me later.
00:17:18OK, bye.
00:17:27Can I change my clothes? Yeah.
00:17:29I'm starting to grow it. You have as well. I have.
00:17:33It does... Did you just sniff your armpit?
00:17:36Well, some... Did you just kind of...
00:17:37No. Your own armpit. But you don't even find it sort of sexy.
00:17:42MUSIC PLAYS
00:17:45MUSIC CONTINUES
00:17:47MUSIC CONTINUES
00:17:49MUSIC CONTINUES
00:17:52MUSIC CONTINUES
00:17:55MUSIC CONTINUES
00:17:57MUSIC CONTINUES
00:17:59No, no, you don't have to do that.
00:18:01Why? What? I don't... It's all right.
00:18:03You don't have to come... Come back up here.
00:18:05It's... It's all right. It doesn't work for me.
00:18:09OK. All right? Yeah.
00:18:11It's not you. I just... You know I just don't...
00:18:14Anyone, not with anyone, I'm not... I just don't...
00:18:16I just don't...
00:18:17MUSIC CONTINUES
00:18:19MUSIC CONTINUES
00:18:21MUSIC CONTINUES
00:18:23MUSIC CONTINUES
00:18:25Oh... Oh, there he is.
00:18:28Don't come in, don't come in. You're not coming in.
00:18:31The whole thing's backed up.
00:18:33Yeah, but it's going to be all right.
00:18:34We've got four days, so that's going to be plenty of time.
00:18:36No, it's not going to be all right for weeks.
00:18:38Can I have a look? No, no, no. You don't want to see.
00:18:41Just cancel it.
00:18:42You're going to have to do your Shakespeare somewhere else.
00:18:45It's off, it's off. It's not my problem.
00:18:47This just seems such a shame, really,
00:18:49because you put so much work into this.
00:18:50Let's think of all the things you do have.
00:18:52You have a great show.
00:18:54You have... Yeah, yeah.
00:18:56..a talented director.
00:19:00You have people that are coming.
00:19:02All you're missing is a venue.
00:19:03Yeah, we haven't got that anymore, have we?
00:19:05That's what we've not got, is that.
00:19:07Well, why don't I call my dad and see if we can get, like,
00:19:11some sort of temporary structure or some sort of, I don't know,
00:19:15marquee or something?
00:19:20Marquee would work, wouldn't it?
00:19:23So, this is it.
00:19:25Oh, my God.
00:19:26My Woman Cave.
00:19:28Wow.
00:19:29It's incredible, isn't it? God, it's amazing.
00:19:31It's amazing.
00:19:33It gives me vertigo just looking at it.
00:19:35I mean, we can have about five minutes here.
00:19:37Oh, thanks. Yeah, I'd love that.
00:19:39Woo! Oh, my God.
00:19:41I know, it's amazing.
00:19:43Oh, my God, the sound is so good.
00:19:45I know.
00:19:47HE SINGS
00:19:51I mean, you'd have to be a trained singer to make that sound good,
00:19:54but...
00:19:55Woo! Woo!
00:19:56It's fun, isn't it?
00:19:58A-woo! Woo!
00:20:00A-woo!
00:20:01Woo! Woo!
00:20:02No, but just hold on.
00:20:03Woo!
00:20:05Yep.
00:20:06Yeah.
00:20:07Woo!
00:20:08Yee-haw!
00:20:12Don't touch that.
00:20:14I... No, I wasn't, actually.
00:20:16It's sort of grease-proof.
00:20:18If you're worried about how far back it goes,
00:20:20it goes back a fuck of a long way.
00:20:23Right. So, their apartment, I think, is going to be on this side,
00:20:26and then to the left of it is going to be, you know,
00:20:28everything else happens outside the apartment,
00:20:30but you always see the apartment.
00:20:32And then I was thinking, when they're watching that play,
00:20:36you know, I think it's going to be something big, like Hamilton,
00:20:38they're sitting on the chairs and they're sitting side by side,
00:20:40and the audience is the audience, you know?
00:20:42You know, it's, who do you fancy?
00:20:44And it's really small, right?
00:20:46Which is nice, in contrast to how big the room is.
00:20:48And then he's like, well, I'm not going to answer that,
00:20:50that's a trick question.
00:20:51And then she's like, just tell me who you fancy.
00:20:53I don't think you want to fuck them or anything, but who do you fancy?
00:20:55Oscar.
00:20:58I've read you a letter.
00:21:00You know, I don't do it good, cos I'm not an actor,
00:21:01but I don't want to go through it.
00:21:04He's like, shut the fuck up, Raquel, you know, because he loves her.
00:21:07And I love saying fuck in this room in particular,
00:21:11cos it feels like such a...
00:21:12With this sort of...
00:21:14The acoustics in here, I think, will be really...
00:21:17If you can get fuck into it, then that will sell tickets.
00:21:20As many fucks on the page as you can.
00:21:22Yeah. Couple of cunts.
00:21:23I can do that. That's thumbs on seats.
00:21:25Yeah. Cos, you know, you're a female writer, so people want...
00:21:28You know, they don't want to come in and watch something
00:21:30about a 50s housewife, you know? No.
00:21:32They want to come in and they want to see some fucking,
00:21:34some rimming and some, like, fisting and... Yeah.
00:21:36..whatever you've got.
00:21:37I want to eat your body. I want to eat you.
00:21:39You know, like, you know when you love someone so much
00:21:41that you just want to...
00:21:43Consume them. Mm.
00:21:45You wish you could put that person inside you.
00:21:47Do you want to go to lunch?
00:21:50Yeah.
00:21:51You hungry?
00:21:53Oh, so, OK, yeah, I am starving, actually.
00:21:56I would like... I... Yeah.
00:21:58I'm buying.
00:22:12Oh, it's Gerald. It's Gerald.
00:22:13Oh, right, right, right, right.
00:22:15Right.
00:22:17Hi, Gerald. It's Rachel.
00:22:20Thanks for calling me back. Rachel.
00:22:22Dick's daughter.
00:22:24Dick?
00:22:26Dick?
00:22:27Yes. Yes, his daughter.
00:22:29Hi. Some friends of mine, lovely people,
00:22:32they've put together this Shakespeare Festival.
00:22:34They're really into plays and actors and things.
00:22:38And, unfortunately, the pavilion that they were going to host it at
00:22:41has fallen through.
00:22:44Mm-hm.
00:22:47Yeah.
00:22:49No, no, I don't think that would...
00:22:53Amazing. Thank you.
00:22:55That's so... Thank you, Gerald.
00:22:57That's so kind.
00:22:59Yeah, I'm on Facebook.
00:23:02OK. Bye now. Bye.
00:23:05Yeah, bye. Will do. Yeah, bye.
00:23:07Bye-bye-bye. Bye.
00:23:09Done.
00:23:10Just done? Done.
00:23:12Done. We've got a marquee.
00:23:13We have a marquee. We've got a marquee.
00:23:15We've got a marquee. We've got a marquee.
00:23:16We've got a marquee.
00:23:17THEY LAUGH
00:23:27We've got a marquee.
00:23:29We've got a marquee.
00:23:30Are you serious? I didn't do anything.
00:23:32I made one call.
00:23:33Congratulations.
00:23:34Aww. To the marquee.
00:23:36To the marquee. To the marquee.
00:23:38We've got a marquee.
00:23:40You've got a marquee.
00:23:42I've got half a marquee with you.
00:23:44I've got half a marquee with you, mate.
00:23:59Hmm.
00:24:02That is so slow.
00:24:04I can't believe it.
00:24:05OK. Down and one.
00:24:12On that.
00:24:13Ooh!
00:24:14Oh, I just find that... I know.
00:24:15..wakes me up for some reason.
00:24:17No, it burns really good right here.
00:24:19Here, I'm kind of a big fish in a small pond,
00:24:22but I like being a big fish.
00:24:23Yeah, who doesn't?
00:24:24Who would want to be a small fish?
00:24:26I'm sort of a big fish in a small pond, too,
00:24:28in the sense that amongst my friends,
00:24:31I'm, like, the loudest, funniest one.
00:24:34Yeah, it's so funny.
00:24:36We've got so much in common.
00:24:38Yeah.
00:24:39I've had several really terrible experiences with men.
00:24:42And that's what I liked about your play,
00:24:44is you just captured the complete...
00:24:47..pointlessness... Mm-hm.
00:24:49..of men.
00:24:52Right.
00:24:53Well... I see you as a bright light.
00:24:56And, I mean, you know, there's a point in your life
00:24:58where you have to say,
00:24:59I'm great, I'm fantastic, I'm the light.
00:25:02I am the light.
00:25:05I say to myself all the time, I'm a fantastic woman.
00:25:09I look in the mirror and I think, yeah.
00:25:12Yeah.
00:25:13You don't need anyone. Yeah.
00:25:15And who needs a relationship when they keep fucking you up?
00:25:21Do you know what? I just feel like you're all the way over there.
00:25:24Yeah.
00:25:25And I'm sort of shouting and there's just a space here.
00:25:29I mean... I know.
00:25:31Do you know what I mean?
00:25:32The thing is, I should have sat there in the beginning,
00:25:34but I actually have to go now.
00:25:36What?
00:25:37Because I feel like I've had one too many already
00:25:40and I should get going.
00:25:42You know, it's just... Oh, that's a shame.
00:25:44I just feel like we've got much more to talk about the play.
00:25:48Yeah.
00:25:49Do you know what I mean? Absolutely.
00:25:51I agree, actually.
00:25:52I don't even know what I was thinking.
00:25:54What are your priorities, right?
00:25:56Um, are you asking me?
00:25:58Yeah.
00:25:59I want to get into the core of you.
00:26:01You've got so much going for you.
00:26:03You're photogenic.
00:26:04I don't want to be, like, sleazy about that,
00:26:06but the thing is, that sells, you know?
00:26:08You can do a lot of press.
00:26:09Oh, my God.
00:26:10So we're going to put you on the poster.
00:26:12Absolutely.
00:26:13I'm not on the poster.
00:26:14Of course you are.
00:26:15Shut up.
00:26:16I mean, I would actually like to keep my face out of it
00:26:18as much as possible.
00:26:19No. No.
00:26:20No?
00:26:21No.
00:26:22OK.
00:26:24You are the play.
00:26:26I'm the play?
00:26:27You are the play.
00:26:28Well, I just sort of thought the play was the play.
00:26:32I mean, I just think, like, a couple more of these...
00:26:35Yeah.
00:26:36...and the play's on.
00:26:38Wait.
00:26:40What do you mean, the play's on?
00:26:43Clarify.
00:26:46Oh, my God.
00:26:47Yes, play's on.
00:26:49Let's get pen and paper.
00:26:51No, let's get...
00:26:52Let's fucking carve it in my arm.
00:26:54Let's get drinks.
00:26:55Let's get another drink.
00:26:56I would love another one.
00:26:58Same again?
00:26:59Or two.
00:27:00OK.
00:27:01Two.
00:27:02OK, OK, OK.
00:27:03And a shot.
00:27:04Absolutely fine.
00:27:05Two and a shot.
00:27:06Let's drink.
00:27:07Yeah.
00:27:08OK.
00:27:10Cheers.
00:27:11Cheers.
00:27:12Cheers.
00:27:13Cheers.
00:27:14Cheers.
00:27:15Cheers.
00:27:16Cheers.
00:27:17Cheers.
00:27:18Cheers.
00:27:19Cheers.
00:27:20Cheers.
00:27:21Cheers.
00:27:22Cheers.
00:27:23Cheers.
00:27:24Cheers.
00:27:25Cheers.
00:27:26Cheers.
00:27:27Cheers.
00:27:28Cheers.
00:27:29Cheers.
00:27:30Cheers.
00:27:31Cheers.
00:27:32Cheers.
00:27:33Cheers.
00:27:34Cheers.
00:27:35Cheers.
00:27:36Cheers.
00:27:37Cheers.
00:27:38Cheers.
00:27:39Cheers.
00:27:40Cheers.
00:27:41Cheers.
00:27:42Cheers.
00:27:43Cheers.
00:27:44Cheers.
00:27:45Cheers.
00:27:46Cheers.
00:27:47Cheers.
00:27:48Cheers.
00:27:49Cheers.
00:27:50Cheers.
00:27:51Cheers.
00:27:52Cheers.
00:27:53Cheers.
00:27:54Cheers.
00:27:55Cheers.
00:27:56Cheers.
00:27:57Cheers.
00:27:58Cheers.
00:27:59Cheers.
00:28:00Cheers.
00:28:01Cheers.
00:28:02Cheers.
00:28:03Cheers.
00:28:04Cheers.
00:28:05Cheers.
00:28:06Cheers.
00:28:07Cheers.
00:28:08Cheers.
00:28:09Cheers.
00:28:10Cheers.
00:28:11Cheers.
00:28:12Cheers.
00:28:13Cheers.
00:28:14Cheers.
00:28:15Cheers.
00:28:16Cheers.
00:28:17Cheers.
00:28:18Cheers.
00:28:19Cheers.
00:28:20Cheers.
00:28:21Cheers.
00:28:22Cheers.
00:28:23Cheers.
00:28:24Cheers.
00:28:25Cheers.
00:28:26Cheers.
00:28:27Cheers.
00:28:28Cheers.
00:28:29Cheers.
00:28:30Cheers.
00:28:31Cheers.
00:28:32Cheers.
00:28:33Cheers.
00:28:34Cheers.
00:28:35Cheers.
00:28:36Cheers.
00:28:37Cheers.
00:28:38Cheers.
00:28:39Cheers.
00:28:40Cheers.
00:28:41Cheers.
00:28:42Cheers.
00:28:43Cheers.
00:28:44Cheers.
00:28:45Cheers.
00:28:46Cheers.
00:28:47Cheers.
00:28:48Cheers.
00:28:49Cheers.
00:28:50Cheers.
00:28:51Cheers.
00:28:52Cheers.
00:28:53Cheers.
00:28:54Cheers.
00:28:55Cheers.
00:28:56Cheers.
00:28:57Cheers.
00:28:58Cheers.
00:28:59Cheers.
00:29:00Cheers.
00:29:01Cheers.
00:29:02Cheers.
00:29:03Cheers.
00:29:04Cheers.
00:29:05Cheers.
00:29:06Cheers.
00:29:07Cheers.
00:29:08Cheers.
00:29:09Cheers.
00:29:10Cheers.
00:29:11Cheers.
00:29:12Cheers.
00:29:13Cheers.
00:29:14Cheers.
00:29:15Cheers.
00:29:16Cheers.
00:29:17Cheers.
00:29:18Cheers.
00:29:19Cheers.
00:29:20Cheers.
00:29:21Cheers.
00:29:22Cheers.
00:29:23Cheers.
00:29:24Cheers.
00:29:25Cheers.
00:29:26Cheers.
00:29:27Cheers.
00:29:28Cheers.
00:29:29Cheers.
00:29:30Cheers.
00:29:31Cheers.
00:29:32Cheers.
00:29:33Cheers.
00:29:34Cheers.
00:29:35Where else are you gonna go if you don't come home?
00:29:37Alright?
00:29:38Oh, I love you.
00:29:39Yeah.
00:29:40Yeah.
00:29:41Ok.
00:29:42It's good, yeah.
00:29:43It's good, yeah.
00:29:44Ok.
00:29:45Alright then.
00:29:46Well I was hoping...
00:29:47I'll just get into a taxi and I'll see you in a bit.
00:29:48Yeah, I'll jump in a cab.
00:29:50I'll see you when you get back, ok?
00:29:51Yeah.
00:29:52Talk!
00:29:53Um...
00:29:54Can I...
00:29:55Hey.
00:29:56Olly, Olly, Olly.
00:29:57Right.
00:30:01Oh, wow.
00:30:02So, we're going now, aren't we?
00:30:05Cheers.
00:30:11Do you want to come to my place?
00:30:13Yes.
00:30:15Yeah.
00:30:25When I made Jill, like, I mean, I made the girl that he needs.
00:30:30Like sort of this nice, normal girl.
00:30:32You look amazing in that.
00:30:35It is.
00:31:06Kiss me.
00:31:08Just kiss you?
00:31:10No, I'm just, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
00:31:20Oh my God.
00:31:23For more kissing, is it?
00:31:35Oh my God.
00:32:06Oh.
00:32:11Oh my God, babe, where have you been?
00:32:13Are you all right?
00:32:15Mm-hm.
00:32:17Oh.
00:32:20Where have you been?
00:32:22Huh, what?
00:32:23I'm out.
00:32:24Huh?
00:32:25I'm out.
00:32:26Out, that's what I'm going to get, out.
00:32:27No.
00:32:28Oh, come on, how did you not...
00:32:30I love you.
00:32:31Just come, just shut up.
00:32:33Shut up and just come, God.
00:32:37Oh.
00:32:38Oh.
00:32:40Oh.
00:32:43Oliver.
00:32:45Yeah?
00:32:48Do you promise you'll never leave me?
00:32:58You all right, babe?
00:33:01Mm-hm.
00:33:04I'm good, I feel good.
00:33:06Yeah?
00:33:07Mm-hm.
00:33:08You sure?
00:33:09Mm-hm.
00:33:15Oh.
00:33:24Do you have any garlic?
00:33:26No, I didn't.
00:33:27Sorry, I didn't know if you needed any.
00:33:29Be a garlic-less pasta sauce.
00:33:32All right.
00:33:40Garlic will make a difference anyway, really.
00:33:42It won't, you know what?
00:33:43It'll be fine.
00:33:44It...
00:33:46Fuck, it will, it will.
00:33:48Let's not pretend, all right?
00:33:50Already...
00:33:51I like it anyway.
00:33:59Oh.
00:34:04How is that?
00:34:07It's all right.
00:34:08It's all right.
00:34:09It's all right.
00:34:10It's a bit sweet.
00:34:11It's not the best, no.
00:34:12No.
00:34:13But, no, it was good.
00:34:14It was good.
00:34:15It was a good night.
00:34:16I'm glad that I went.
00:34:17I'm glad that I stayed late.
00:34:19Not that late, obviously.
00:34:20I could have done without that.
00:34:22But it was good for the job.
00:34:25It was good for the relationship, you know?
00:34:27You want to stay in their consciousness, you know?
00:34:30So you want them to be thinking about you the next day, like,
00:34:32oh, yeah, I love that girl.
00:34:33She was liking your play as well.
00:34:34She was liking...
00:34:35Liking your play.
00:34:36You should love my play.
00:34:37Of course she loves my play.
00:34:38Good, good.
00:34:39That is what's so validating, is just to have someone, you know,
00:34:41who's not my family member, not someone who loves me, you know,
00:34:44think that what I'm making is brilliant, you know?
00:34:48It was funny because she is so fucking smart.
00:34:51She's so on it, especially with this kind of stuff,
00:34:53and, like, we really, like, we really understand,
00:34:55like, she likes the same plays.
00:34:57It was just like boom, boom, boom, boom.
00:34:59And do you know that this was, I mean, whatever, like, I kissed her.
00:35:05I mean, she kissed me, but, yeah.
00:35:08We kissed.
00:35:09Like, what?
00:35:11Like, it's so...
00:35:16So not me.
00:35:18I kissed a girl.
00:35:23Like, it, like, snogged, like, properly, like, oh, my God,
00:35:26like, what am I doing?
00:35:28I must be so drunk.
00:35:30Like, wow, is it just in your 30s that you start, like, being like,
00:35:33whatever, I'm just going to kiss some girl now.
00:35:36Totally kissed her.
00:35:38Just...
00:35:40I guess I should have done it in high school, got it out of my system.
00:35:44Well, kind of, um...
00:35:47So did I.
00:35:48Shut up.
00:35:49What are you two...
00:35:50Don't even, don't even.
00:35:52I got kissed by someone as well.
00:36:03What?
00:36:04It's not, that's not the same, is it, though?
00:36:08No, it's not exactly the same, but it's similar.
00:36:13It's not?
00:36:14I don't think it's the same at all.
00:36:16Other people can kiss girls as well, not just you, maybe.
00:36:19Of course they can kiss...
00:36:20Of course other people can kiss girls, but...
00:36:22Maybe other girls want to kiss me.
00:36:24Maybe somebody kissed me last night.
00:36:26I'm sure other people want to kiss you.
00:36:28I want to kiss you all the fucking time.
00:36:30I know somebody else wanted to kiss me,
00:36:32cos I kissed someone else last night.
00:36:40Um...
00:36:41Bit of fun.
00:36:43Um...
00:36:47Wow.
00:36:49Who did you kiss?
00:36:55I don't want to know.
00:36:56I don't want to know who you kissed.
00:36:57You do know.
00:36:58I don't want to know who you kissed.
00:36:59OK.
00:37:00Actually, just don't even fucking tell me who you kissed.
00:37:03I won't then, I won't.
00:37:04Don't fucking...
00:37:05Do not even try...
00:37:06When?
00:37:07When?
00:37:08When?
00:37:09When?
00:37:10When?
00:37:11Don't even try.
00:37:12Whatever you did is not the same as what I did.
00:37:16No.
00:37:17I was not all night.
00:37:20Um...
00:37:34Yeah.
00:37:35Yeah.
00:37:39Yeah.
00:37:40Just...
00:37:47Oh, shit.
00:37:48Hold on.
00:37:49I forgot the spaghetti.
00:37:50Do you know what?
00:37:51I cannot believe what is going on.
00:37:54It's a bit dry.
00:37:55That was always going to happen with that heat on it.
00:37:59Oh, I knew it.
00:38:00I knew Rachel liked you.
00:38:01I knew she liked you.
00:38:02Yeah, but it's not...
00:38:03I knew it.
00:38:04I knew she had a crush on you.
00:38:06She hasn't got...
00:38:07It was...
00:38:09What's in your line of sight?
00:38:12Did you sleep well last night?
00:38:16Are you doing all right?
00:38:21Hope you're doing all right.
00:38:28If you think I don't think of you
00:38:31Hope you know that could never be true
00:38:33Hi, guys!
00:38:35Guys!
00:38:37Hiya.
00:38:38Wow!
00:38:40Hi!
00:38:41Wow!
00:38:43Oh, my God!
00:38:44It's good, isn't it?
00:38:45Yeah.
00:38:47Yeah?
00:38:48Yeah.
00:38:49Wow!
00:38:50Don't let it stop you.
00:38:51If you're in the middle of it,
00:38:52don't let it stop you, though,
00:38:53because we've got to...
00:38:54Yeah.
00:38:55I'll lead you to it.
00:38:56Oh, OK.
00:38:57Yeah.
00:38:58Bye, guys!
00:38:59OK.
00:39:00Ta-ra now, ta-ra.
00:39:01Ta-ra.
00:39:02Bye!
00:39:03Bye!
00:39:04Thank you for both turning up.
00:39:05We've got a problem with the actors.
00:39:07What's wrong?
00:39:08The actors are saying that they don't think
00:39:09you're really into this.
00:39:10But that's not the point.
00:39:11It doesn't matter what I want and don't want.
00:39:13We're here to do a job, aren't we, Jeff?
00:39:15Am I not there and present every fucking day?
00:39:18Am I not?
00:39:19I'm sorry, what more do you want?
00:39:20You want me to lie?
00:39:21Let's do your play.
00:39:22I'm just telling you what the actors have said.
00:39:23Let's do your play.
00:39:24What do you mean, let's do my play?
00:39:25What about your mum?
00:39:26Oh, forget about my mother.
00:39:28My mother will just sit there and be happy with anything
00:39:30because there's...
00:39:31No, she won't be happy.
00:39:32There's a tent and there'll be a play
00:39:33and my mother will be happy.
00:39:34If we do yours, I'll be happy.
00:39:38It's ready.
00:39:39Let's just do it.
00:39:42Come on, guys.
00:39:43Let me ask them.
00:39:44Let me just show them.
00:39:45I want to hear their thoughts.
00:39:46And I want to see who would...
00:39:48Just give me a second.
00:39:52Are you guys OK?
00:39:54Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're fine.
00:40:05I just came down here with your mother.
00:40:07Yeah?
00:40:08Yeah.
00:40:09We were caught in.
00:40:12Oh, it was years ago.
00:40:13Yeah.
00:40:16Things aren't going the best, really.
00:40:20What, with you and Judith?
00:40:23Yeah.
00:40:24Why?
00:40:27I've done some things wrong.
00:40:29What have you...
00:40:31Come on.
00:40:32Come on.
00:40:35I...
00:40:36kissed Rachel.
00:40:41You've just...
00:40:42just kissed her?
00:40:43Just kissed her.
00:40:45She...
00:40:46She kissed me back.
00:40:47There's nothing wrong
00:40:48with kissing somebody else, you know.
00:40:50I mean...
00:40:51Isn't there?
00:40:52No!
00:40:53She's a lovely girl.
00:40:54She is, yeah.
00:40:55And I...
00:40:58Even an old twat like me, Roy,
00:40:59can realise that she's a very, very...
00:41:01very attractive girl.
00:41:02So...
00:41:03All right.
00:41:04And I can't...
00:41:05I wouldn't blame you...
00:41:06for a minute.
00:41:07It's a bit more complicated.
00:41:09What?
00:41:10It's a bit more complicated than that.
00:41:11What, you mean...
00:41:12No, not me doing anything,
00:41:14but, um...
00:41:15Gillian...
00:41:17she kissed a lady as well, though.
00:41:19I kissed a woman
00:41:20and she kissed a woman.
00:41:21What?
00:41:22Yeah.
00:41:23Gillian?
00:41:25Yeah.
00:41:28Good God.
00:41:29Good God.
00:41:31And I put her down as a bloody...
00:41:32you know...
00:41:34as a...
00:41:37one of them.
00:41:38Yeah.
00:41:39Women, you know.
00:41:40Lesbian, Dad, you can see it.
00:41:41All right, Dad.
00:41:42It's all right.
00:41:43A fucking lesbian.
00:41:44Yeah, you can...
00:41:45You can just say lesbian
00:41:46without the fucking...
00:41:47It's all right.
00:41:49I don't think she is one.
00:41:50No, I don't think she is either.
00:41:51Christ.
00:41:52It's just...
00:41:53It's just one of those...
00:41:54you know...
00:41:56One of those...
00:41:57She did say she was drunk.
00:41:59Well, there you are.
00:42:00I mean, that's it, isn't it?
00:42:02You know, it's as simple as that.
00:42:04You know.
00:42:06I just love her, Dad.
00:42:07I know that.
00:42:08I just love her.
00:42:09I can't...
00:42:10I mean, she's a good kid, you know.
00:42:11She's stepped by you like glue, really.
00:42:14She deserves a medal
00:42:15for putting up with you.
00:42:17No, she does.
00:42:19She does.
00:42:20Great pep talk, Dad.
00:42:21She deserves a medal
00:42:22for putting up with me.
00:42:24It's a beer talk, isn't it?
00:42:27She has to stick around, though, hasn't she?
00:42:29Yeah.
00:42:30I mean, maybe, if you had a job,
00:42:32a proper, proper job, right?
00:42:35Well, I have got a job.
00:42:36A DJ is a proper job, is it?
00:42:39Well, yeah.
00:42:40How much do you make on that?
00:42:42150 quid a week?
00:42:44A night.
00:42:45150 quid a night.
00:42:46A night.
00:42:47How many nights a week?
00:42:48One night a week.
00:42:49One night a week.
00:42:50150 quid a week.
00:42:51All right.
00:42:52150 quid a week.
00:42:53That's what it's about.
00:42:54Yeah, yeah.
00:42:55Yeah.
00:42:56What I suggest you do now
00:42:58is you go out, right?
00:42:59You go all the way, all right?
00:43:01We'll stop, OK?
00:43:02Yeah.
00:43:03You'll pick up a meal,
00:43:04take it away.
00:43:05An Indian or Chinese.
00:43:06She likes Chinese, doesn't she?
00:43:07Yeah, she does.
00:43:08All right, Chinese, OK?
00:43:09Yeah, yeah.
00:43:10Flowers, right?
00:43:11Yeah, the full shebang.
00:43:12Women love that, you know?
00:43:14Yeah.
00:43:15They do.
00:43:16And then sort it out, you know?
00:43:18Just sort it out.
00:43:19Right.
00:43:26I just, like, I'm young.
00:43:31Just because you kissed a girl
00:43:33doesn't mean you don't love your husband.
00:43:41I love my husband.
00:43:43That doesn't mean that I don't like to have sex as well
00:43:45with girls.
00:43:47Actually, what people do
00:43:49as a right of passage
00:43:51is they say,
00:43:52but what people do
00:43:54as a right of passage, isn't it?
00:44:01He loves girls, too.
00:44:02He loves a girl named Rachel.
00:44:03We're not conventional.
00:44:07We're not the conventional sort.
00:44:10He's sending me messages.
00:44:22Matt, wow, hi.
00:44:24Ginny.
00:44:25You look fit.
00:44:27What are you doing here?
00:44:30Ollie's not here.
00:44:31I'm not here for Ollie.
00:44:33I'm here for you.
00:44:34Why have you got me flowers?
00:44:36Because, just listen,
00:44:37I just want to talk to you.
00:44:38That's all right.
00:44:40You know, I went to London
00:44:41and I went to get away
00:44:42because you're with my mate
00:44:44and that's not right
00:44:45that I should have the thoughts that I have,
00:44:47but I have them and I've decided...
00:44:49Just come in.
00:44:50Come in a sec.
00:44:51I would like that very much.
00:44:53What are you talking about?
00:44:55The right thing to do is to be with you.
00:44:58Now, I know that maybe you think,
00:44:59oh, you like writers
00:45:01and you like writing
00:45:02and maybe you think,
00:45:03oh, I can't be that sort of guy,
00:45:04but I can be.
00:45:05I wrote you a poem.
00:45:07Can I read it to you?
00:45:08Oh, yeah.
00:45:09Please, I'd love to hear your poem.
00:45:11I've never written before.
00:45:12I've done this for you.
00:45:14It's called Jillian.
00:45:15Okay.
00:45:16I think of you night and day
00:45:19and how you'd be the greatest lay.
00:45:22I think of us together at last.
00:45:24I think of banging you out on the grass.
00:45:27To kiss your neck would be my task,
00:45:31but in the end I'd want your arse.
00:45:35There is no one finer from here to North Carolina
00:45:39and if you don't mind her,
00:45:41I'd like to kiss your vagina.
00:45:43Oh, my God.
00:45:46Oh, wow.
00:45:47That was so good.
00:45:51If she's in there with you, right,
00:45:52I'm coming in now.
00:45:53I'm just telling you now, right?
00:45:55Shh, things are fucking up.
00:45:56I don't know what's going...
00:45:58All right, mate?
00:45:59All right?
00:46:01You know it's not been right between you two.
00:46:03I'm...
00:46:04And you know it's always been right between us.
00:46:06You need someone your own size.
00:46:08And she's my fit.
00:46:10Matt.
00:46:11In many ways, I've done you a favour.
00:46:13You need to just stop.
00:46:15Just go.
00:46:16I'll be waiting.
00:46:17I don't think.
00:46:18I know.
00:46:19What are you...
00:46:20Oh, God.
00:46:21Oh, God.
00:46:22Oh, God.
00:46:23Oh, God.
00:46:24Oh, God.
00:46:25Oh, God.
00:46:26Oh, God.
00:46:28What are you doing?
00:46:32You fell in love with someone.
00:46:35Oh, God.
00:46:36In love with someone.
00:46:37Oh, in love with someone.
00:46:38Of course I'm not.
00:46:40I don't believe it for a second.
00:46:41I think you're just saying that,
00:46:42and I think you've fallen in love with her,
00:46:43and I think you kissing her is worse than any fucking dick
00:46:46I could take out my pussy right now.
00:46:48I'm in love with you.
00:46:49What the fuck did you do?
00:46:50I'm like some connection.
00:46:51I don't believe you for a second that you're in love with me.
00:46:53I could see you connecting just now.
00:46:54You've had a woman and a man.
00:46:55I've just had one kiss.
00:46:58What are we even doing?
00:47:00I don't know.
00:47:01I'm not doing anything.
00:47:02You're the one doing everything.
00:47:03That's the thing.
00:47:04That's the thing, is you think that,
00:47:06is you think you're not doing anything.
00:47:08What?
00:47:09Get out.
00:47:12Come on.
00:47:13Grow up.
00:47:14What do you mean, get out?
00:47:15Come on.
00:47:16Grow up.
00:47:17Why am I...
00:47:18Grow up.
00:47:19Get out.
00:47:20Get out.
00:47:21We're not doing well.
00:47:22Get out.
00:47:23No, no.
00:47:24Get out.
00:47:26Get out of my mother's house.
00:47:29How's that?
00:47:30Oh, yeah.
00:47:31You get out.
00:47:32Yeah, whose house is that?
00:47:33It's my mummy's house.
00:47:34Yeah, oh, don't bring my mother into it, man.
00:47:37Disgusting, kicking a woman out of her own fucking house.
00:47:40Oh, fuck off.
00:47:55MUSIC PLAYS
00:48:13All right, I'm going to surprise you now, OK?
00:48:15You ready?
00:48:16I'm ready.
00:48:18Oh, my God, you're so good!
00:48:20Left-handed, right.
00:48:22I'm going to do your face when you do it.
00:48:37Right, you ready?
00:48:38I'm going to float it in, right?
00:48:42Oh, sorry, babe, I didn't mean to.
00:48:44Ow!
00:48:45Oh, that one hurt.
00:48:46That was all on me, it was my throat.
00:48:48Come here, come here, look at that.
00:48:50More.
00:48:52Mmm!
00:48:54Better?
00:48:56Yeah?
00:48:57Yeah.
00:48:58Yeah.
00:49:04Oh, yes!
00:49:06Did you see the way you did that?
00:49:07Straight up like that, boom!
00:49:08You like when I go like that?
00:49:09Frisbee!
00:49:10You look gorgeous.
00:49:21MUSIC CONTINUES
00:49:29You having a think?
00:49:35Are you having a think?
00:49:37Yeah.
00:49:40Is it going to take a while?
00:49:46Can you have a think in the car?
00:49:49I forgot to T-vote WWE Smackdown and it's on in 23 minutes.
00:49:54Hey, um...
00:49:57Matt?
00:49:58Yeah?
00:50:00Do you like the beach?
00:50:02Yeah, I love it.
00:50:03You know how parents say that they take, like, a shell
00:50:06and they put it to your ear and they go,
00:50:08you know, that's the ocean?
00:50:09Yeah.
00:50:10Like, my dad did that, he said,
00:50:12he said, this is the sea,
00:50:14and then you listen and it's like...
00:50:16And it sounds like the sea.
00:50:18But actually, it's not.
00:50:20What is it?
00:50:21It's just the way that the shell is structured.
00:50:25And then you look like a fucking idiot
00:50:27when you finally tell someone,
00:50:29and say, it's the sea, and they're like, no, it's not.
00:50:32And I know he wasn't lying, he was just trying to make it nice,
00:50:36but it actually did end up being a lie,
00:50:38cos then you believe it and then you look like a fucking idiot.
00:50:40Right.
00:50:42It's horrible, isn't it?
00:50:44Yeah, yeah.
00:50:46I mean, it sounds like it was quite a long time ago, though,
00:50:50so probably best not to think about it any more.
00:51:02Do you ever think about what love is?
00:51:08Actual love?
00:51:09Yeah, what is it?
00:51:10What do people mean?
00:51:12Because it's this myth, isn't it? It's just a concept.
00:51:16No, love is a thing.
00:51:18What is it?
00:51:19It's a chemical reaction in the body.
00:51:21I look at you and I love you,
00:51:23and what that means is I see you,
00:51:25the image goes through my eyes, to my brain,
00:51:28down to my heart and into my knob,
00:51:31and I get a boner.
00:51:33And that means I love you.
00:51:35And you reciprocate it.
00:51:37You look at me and you see me through your eyes,
00:51:40and it goes through your head, through your heart,
00:51:42and you get a wide-on.
00:51:44And if I have a boner and you have a wide-on, that's love.
00:51:48If I have a boner and you don't have a wide-on, that's unrequited.
00:51:52OK.
00:51:53And vice versa.
00:51:55And when we kiss, that's soul mate for that moment.
00:51:59Yeah.
00:52:01I think you're right.
00:52:03I am right.
00:52:04I think you're right. That's it, though.
00:52:06It's just simple. It's just simple.
00:52:08It's just people have been writing what they've been writing,
00:52:11creating what they've been creating, the message they've been making,
00:52:14and the people they've been murdering for this,
00:52:16all because they're fucking horny.
00:52:19Yeah.
00:52:20You might be right.
00:52:21I'm completely right.
00:52:23I've proved it many times.
00:52:27So you love me?
00:52:29Right now, I love the shit out of you.
00:52:31Do you want to love me in the van?
00:52:33I want to love you till you're dead.
00:52:35OK, in the car.
00:52:37Take me to the van.
00:52:39All right, one sec.
00:52:41Let me...
00:52:44You lie down.
00:52:46I down.
00:52:47I'm just going to climb.
00:52:49OK, now.
00:52:50I'll go up.
00:52:53OK.
00:52:59That's it.
00:53:01Yeah.
00:53:02So this is the...
00:53:04So this is it.
00:53:06This is the tent.
00:53:07This is all yours.
00:53:08It's mine and Oliver's.
00:53:10Americano.
00:53:12Hi.
00:53:13There you go.
00:53:14Good morning.
00:53:15You got this for me?
00:53:16Well, yeah.
00:53:17I know you like it, so...
00:53:18All right, mate?
00:53:19All right, yeah.
00:53:21You only got one.
00:53:22I didn't know you was coming.
00:53:23That's all right, mate.
00:53:24Coffee's bad for you.
00:53:26So how is this feeling for you now?
00:53:28Is this all looking right?
00:53:30Oh, wow.
00:53:31OK, did you do this?
00:53:32Yeah.
00:53:33I'm trying to set it all up.
00:53:34Did you put up that fabric?
00:53:36Yeah, I put it over the thing.
00:53:37That's great.
00:53:39It's small because the ratio of the stage to the tent is a little bit weak.
00:53:43Small and white, yeah.
00:53:44You can put stuff up to break up the white a little bit.
00:53:47Twigs.
00:53:48I hate the twigs.
00:53:49Leave it there.
00:53:50I really hate the twigs.
00:53:51Do whatever you want with them.
00:53:52OK, well, I'll give them a try.
00:53:53I will give them a try.
00:53:54Yeah?
00:53:55Yeah.
00:53:56I'll be getting something else done, maybe.
00:53:57I think you're right about the furloughage, actually.
00:54:00Um...
00:54:01Can I...?
00:54:02Yeah.
00:54:03And you want these?
00:54:04Yeah, we can put those wherever you want.
00:54:06OK, yeah.
00:54:07Mate?
00:54:08Can I have a word?
00:54:09Do you have energy?
00:54:10Yeah, sorry, I've just got to go and have a...
00:54:12Just be a minute, babe.
00:54:13Word.
00:54:14I'll just be a second now.
00:54:15Yeah.
00:54:16Be nice.
00:54:17I redid the life table.
00:54:18The what?
00:54:19Scores have changed.
00:54:20Mate?
00:54:21You're still doing this?
00:54:22Criss-cross.
00:54:23You, blank.
00:54:24Jeff, spots.
00:54:25Jeff, standard, as usual.
00:54:27Girlfriends, me, way more.
00:54:29Wives, yes, you've had one, but I fucked her.
00:54:32One-nighters, loads more.
00:54:34Cool jobs, me, way more.
00:54:36Holidays...
00:54:37Cool jobs?
00:54:38Yeah, mate, I'm a personal trainer.
00:54:40Are you?
00:54:41Yes, mate.
00:54:42Are you actually a personal trainer?
00:54:44Yes, mate.
00:54:45Or?
00:54:46I work with women.
00:54:47I make their butts bigger.
00:54:48Yeah, I'm a DJ.
00:54:49You're a wedding DJ.
00:54:50It's not quite the same.
00:54:51Mate, what do you want?
00:54:52I don't do weddings.
00:54:53I've had the time of my life again, all right?
00:54:55I've got a residency.
00:54:56You're like an uncle.
00:54:57But a DJ...
00:54:58You're a resident uncle.
00:54:59I do birthday parties.
00:55:00Yeah?
00:55:01Any celebration you want, really.
00:55:02I can go around.
00:55:03I do all of the stuff.
00:55:04Moving on.
00:55:05Holidays.
00:55:06Look, I gave you that.
00:55:07OK.
00:55:08Friends, even.
00:55:09Fashion, no competition.
00:55:10Threesomes, no competition.
00:55:12Anal.
00:55:13Although, look, there was that one time you told me about,
00:55:15but I'm sure that was a mistake.
00:55:16Well...
00:55:17True love.
00:55:18True love?
00:55:19Look at that.
00:55:20How were you done?
00:55:21I should be up the top of that.
00:55:22Give me...
00:55:23You can't just be doing that like that,
00:55:24and true love, just all of a sudden.
00:55:25Listen, mate...
00:55:26Jeff's not the same as me as true love.
00:55:27Mate, what did Rihanna say?
00:55:29All's fair in love and war.
00:55:31Oh, look, look.
00:55:32OK, OK, OK.
00:55:33All's fair in all that now, but come on now.
00:55:35You've had a bit of a laugh now, right?
00:55:37You've done that now.
00:55:38Just...
00:55:39I've done that a few times.
00:55:40Oh.
00:55:41What do mates do?
00:55:42They step aside when a mate finds love.
00:55:45Exactly, mate.
00:55:46So...
00:55:47And they let love bloom.
00:55:48OK, so as a mate, you should step aside out of your...
00:55:50What, you two?
00:55:51Do you mind?
00:55:52Just trying to work over here.
00:55:54Do you need any help moving anything?
00:55:56I could move the whole thing if you need it.
00:55:58We don't need the whole thing moving.
00:55:59We just need that moving.
00:56:00We just...
00:56:01How much stuff do you need moved?
00:56:03I can move stuff as well.
00:56:04I'm just trying to focus.
00:56:05It's hard to focus.
00:56:07Sorry.
00:56:08Sorry.
00:56:09It's OK.
00:56:10It's a bit childish, isn't it?
00:56:12A bit childish doing that like that.
00:56:14Isn't it, love?
00:56:16Yep, mate.
00:56:17Go on, then.
00:56:18Argh!
00:56:19Argh!
00:56:20Argh!
00:56:21Argh!
00:56:22Argh!
00:56:23Argh!
00:56:24Argh!
00:56:25Argh!
00:56:26Argh!
00:56:28Get up!
00:56:30Right.
00:56:38You had it!
00:56:54So, this means we're doing?
00:56:56What are you doing there?
00:57:00Fighting.
00:57:01Foot draw?
00:57:02No.
00:57:03What does a draw mean?
00:57:10Is there a plug hole?
00:57:12Yeah.
00:57:13That's good.
00:57:14I love the tent.
00:57:16Good.
00:57:17I really love it.
00:57:18It'll break up the weight.
00:57:20Yeah.
00:57:21Why have you brought a frisbee? I thought we were working out.
00:57:23Okay, catch it. Just keep your eye on it and then you definitely will catch it.
00:57:28Throw it.
00:57:29Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Matt, Matt, what are you doing? Matt!
00:57:34Not right here. I just wanted to play frisbee.
00:57:37Get on my back. That's all I wanted. Just get on my back.
00:57:39Why?
00:57:40Because we're doing a workout. I wanted to show you something.
00:57:43Okay.
00:57:46And now what?
00:57:47Well, if you're not going to do it properly, forget it.
00:57:49But I am. I'm just doing what you told me to do.
00:57:51You're being heavier on purpose.
00:57:53Is that it? Where's the frisbee go then?
00:57:55Oh, fuck the frisbee.
00:57:57Why?
00:57:58We've got to get back. We've got to set up the barbecue.
00:58:01We hardly paid.
00:58:17Oliver.
00:58:19Yeah.
00:58:21It's okay. It's going to be okay.
00:58:24It's all going to be fine.
00:58:26And I'm sorry for...
00:58:27Oh, yeah, no, I was...
00:58:29No, there's nothing to be sorry about.
00:58:31Oh, no, I feel really awful about it.
00:58:33Don't feel awful about it.
00:58:34I mean, I didn't feel awful...
00:58:37kissing you.
00:58:39It was nice.
00:58:42It just... It was a happy moment.
00:58:44It was just a happy moment.
00:58:45Just a happy moment and...
00:58:50I have to get her back.
00:58:55What if we go to the barbecue?
00:58:58Whose barbecue?
00:59:00Oh, Matt's.
00:59:02Up in a barbecue at his parents' house.
00:59:04And if we turn up together then,
00:59:07go in there fairly strong,
00:59:09and then you get straight in, in between...
00:59:12Right.
00:59:13..Matt and Gillian and just take him away.
00:59:15Oh, I see.
00:59:16Because he'll be really into the way you look and stuff.
00:59:20If you can just then keep Matt away,
00:59:22it would just really let me get...
00:59:27I see what you're saying.
00:59:29All right.
00:59:30Yeah?
00:59:31Deal.
00:59:32Deal.
00:59:38You really want her back, don't you?
00:59:41I don't know what to do without her.
00:59:45Oi, you're not vegetarian, are you?
00:59:47What?
00:59:48You're not vegetarian, are you?
00:59:49No.
00:59:50Thank God for that.
00:59:52It is very picnic-y.
00:59:54Heads up.
00:59:55Oh, shit.
00:59:57Oh.
01:00:01Be honest with her.
01:00:02In scene two, you know,
01:00:03she already feels like their marriage is falling apart,
01:00:05and she says, you know,
01:00:06Because that is a trick question.
01:00:07Yeah.
01:00:08If you ask someone who you're with,
01:00:10if they fancy...who they fancy,
01:00:12what do you think they mean?
01:00:14They mean...
01:00:15Hang on.
01:00:16If you ask me who do I fancy...
01:00:18Yeah.
01:00:19Yeah.
01:00:23I was just on the phone to one of my actors.
01:00:25She's a fucking nightmare.
01:00:27She's trying to infuse her own meanings into my writing.
01:00:31Right.
01:00:32All I want her to do is simply say the line, you know?
01:00:36Like, I don't...
01:00:37I don't actually need her to do, like, pregnant pauses.
01:00:40Oh, yeah.
01:00:41So, anyway, I just told her that.
01:00:43Please, just say the lines.
01:00:46And, um...
01:00:48What did she say?
01:00:49She said, uh...
01:00:51She said, sure, but listen,
01:00:53I just don't have a good relationship with these actors.
01:00:56They hate me.
01:00:57They think I'm, like, a...
01:01:00Yeah, you're the boss.
01:01:02I'm just going to spread this blanket out.
01:01:05OK.
01:01:06Yeah.
01:01:07It's a nice blanket.
01:01:09Yeah, it's a solid blanket.
01:01:13Yeah.
01:01:15Do you want to come on the blanket with me?
01:01:18Well, I mean, I'm still cooking, so...
01:01:21Very soft.
01:01:22Mm-hm.
01:01:23Do you want to come lie down on the blanket?
01:01:26Mm-hm.
01:01:27Do you want to come lie down on it with me?
01:01:30I can't take my eyes off this.
01:01:32You overcook these, you're ruined.
01:01:35But I wanted to celebrate.
01:01:40What do you mean?
01:01:42Well, I want to have a celebratory shag.
01:01:45In your mum's garden.
01:01:50What are you celebrating?
01:01:52My play being produced, finally.
01:01:55Yeah, in a tent for, like, 40 people.
01:02:01It's good, it's good.
01:02:04Yeah.
01:02:06Something.
01:02:08Some people never get that.
01:02:10Not even in a tent.
01:02:11That's true.
01:02:13Listen, I'd love to shag you, but Geoff is coming round
01:02:17and my mum could walk in and...
01:02:20What we have is, like, it's more than just sex.
01:02:23You can't just have sex all the time.
01:02:25I love sex. I'm all about sex.
01:02:28But the fact is, there is more to life.
01:02:32Like, sometimes I just want to know about you.
01:02:35The real you.
01:02:37Should I have bought some meat?
01:02:40No, I don't think so.
01:02:42I haven't bought anything.
01:02:44Don't worry about that, I'm just kidding.
01:02:46Guys, I'm not sure this is a good idea.
01:02:49It'll be fine.
01:02:50It's OK, we've got quite a robust plan.
01:02:52Yeah.
01:02:53He specifically invited me, not you guys.
01:02:55I mean...
01:02:56You'll be fine.
01:02:57You'll be fine.
01:02:58You'll be absolutely fine.
01:02:59You're going to have a lovely time.
01:03:00Yeah.
01:03:01And I'm going to...
01:03:02Yeah, that'd be great.
01:03:03Yeah.
01:03:04What a lovely house.
01:03:05It's his parents, I was just honest.
01:03:08Geoffrey!
01:03:09How are you?
01:03:10Got some people with me.
01:03:11Great.
01:03:12More the merrier.
01:03:13Hi.
01:03:14Hey.
01:03:15Rachel.
01:03:16Jeremy.
01:03:17Rachel.
01:03:18Fucking hell, you look great.
01:03:20Hello, mate.
01:03:21You know Oliver.
01:03:22Yeah.
01:03:23Hi, mate.
01:03:30Is it all right if I...?
01:03:33What a lovely barbecue.
01:03:35Yeah.
01:03:36Bought some extra corn, just in case any more women were coming.
01:03:38So corn for the girls.
01:03:39Meat for the boys.
01:03:40Oh, that's considerate.
01:03:43What are you doing here?
01:03:46Geoff asked me to come along.
01:03:49OK, but...
01:03:51But why did you come to the barbecue?
01:03:57He wanted to see you.
01:04:02Right.
01:04:05It's quite hot with that fan, isn't it?
01:04:07I like it.
01:04:11Good.
01:04:12What about you, I mean...?
01:04:13God, well, I've been travelling a lot, actually, for work.
01:04:15Have you?
01:04:16Yeah.
01:04:17Yeah.
01:04:18Can I ask you something?
01:04:19Go on.
01:04:20I don't want to be rude, but could you open your coat a bit?
01:04:24Just a bit, so I could just see what's going on under there.
01:04:28Yeah, that's...
01:04:30That is tremendous.
01:04:33You see how I handled that?
01:04:34Very good.
01:04:36Stoicism.
01:04:38And it just goes away.
01:04:40I prefer that, that thing.
01:04:42Like that.
01:04:43That's just work, is it?
01:04:44Yeah.
01:04:45What kind of work are you doing?
01:04:46I'm working with bats.
01:04:47Oh, you're working with bats?
01:04:48Yeah.
01:04:49Fuck me, well, that's great.
01:04:50I mean, you could...
01:04:51If you want.
01:04:52That is good.
01:04:53Do you know what?
01:04:54For someone your size and shape...
01:04:55Yeah.
01:04:56That is solid.
01:04:58What about the barbecue we had down on the beach?
01:05:00It looked really young.
01:05:02Yeah?
01:05:03Mm-hm.
01:05:04Look what you've done to me.
01:05:06It's all right.
01:05:08I like the wrinkles.
01:05:10There are no wrinkles!
01:05:11OK, sorry, there are no wrinkles.
01:05:14If there were, I'd like them.
01:05:15I know you would.
01:05:16Yeah.
01:05:17I started doing poetry now,
01:05:19so I'm not just, you know, a muscle man.
01:05:21I'm also an artist.
01:05:23Like, look at you, look at you.
01:05:25Your eyes so brown.
01:05:27I'd really like to hear your sex sound.
01:05:30I'd like to lie down with you on your front
01:05:33or turn you over and ignore your...
01:05:37There's just lots of things I have,
01:05:38like other ideas that I have.
01:05:39So good.
01:05:40Poetry?
01:05:41Since when?
01:05:42Since ages.
01:05:43It's just, like, I'll look at something
01:05:44and if I'm inspired by it, I'll do a poem, like...
01:05:46OK.
01:05:47Geoffrey, Geoffrey, your timing's quite shit.
01:05:50Geoffrey, Geoffrey, could you get the fuck out of it?
01:05:53Geoffrey, Geoffrey, we've got a thing happening.
01:05:56Geoffrey, Geoffrey, your presence is crappening.
01:06:00Your presence is crappening.
01:06:16What are you doing?
01:06:18What are you doing?
01:06:19What are you doing?
01:06:21I'm just...
01:06:24trying to hold on to something.
01:06:27I don't work without you.
01:06:33Simple as that.
01:06:34I just don't...
01:06:36work without you.
01:06:41Matt?
01:06:42Don't call him.
01:06:43Matt?
01:06:44Yeah?
01:06:45Could you take me back to your flat, please?
01:06:48Er...
01:06:49Sort of all right here with Rachel, is it, guys?
01:06:52Oh, yeah.
01:06:53Are we really getting on?
01:06:54Yeah.
01:06:55We haven't...
01:06:56OK.
01:06:57No, no, enjoy.
01:06:58You can't leave now.
01:07:01It's for the best, innit?
01:07:03Yeah.
01:07:04It's all OK.
01:07:06Take care.
01:07:07You know, if someone's so fit,
01:07:09she's really, like, complicated.
01:07:12Well, because she looks like that, she can't be complicated.
01:07:15I just think, why bother? Like...
01:07:17Why bother with what? With...
01:07:19With what, just coming, taking her off me,
01:07:21breaking her heart, breaking my heart?
01:07:23If you want her back, you know,
01:07:25I wish you luck, mate.
01:07:27That's it, so I just have her back now?
01:07:29That's it, so you've moved on now?
01:07:31I'm saying you should fight for her, because she's, you know,
01:07:34a nightmare, and I want you to have that.
01:07:36So you want...
01:07:37You know what, I do want that.
01:07:39And I wouldn't make it a nightmare.
01:07:41What have I said mates are for?
01:07:42Mates are for stepping aside when...
01:07:44OK, thank you for stepping aside. ..love is in the way.
01:07:53It's always, always going to be complicated.
01:07:56And you're never going to have a nine-to-five.
01:08:01He knew very well
01:08:04who I was when he married me.
01:08:11And he loved it.
01:08:14So we've accepted that there are complications
01:08:16with me constantly changing,
01:08:19being a fucking moody bitch.
01:08:24And he has to adjust to that, and I have to adjust to him.
01:08:27And he worships me.
01:08:30I mean, he did.
01:08:35But I don't know,
01:08:37I don't know,
01:08:39I mean, he did.
01:08:45He used to.
01:08:47Just not at the moment.
01:09:06You've got your pay.
01:09:08You've got your pay, finally, Julian.
01:09:14And you're miserable.
01:09:16The fuck?
01:09:19Am I going to be the only one sitting at my fucking play?
01:09:24I want him to care about it, though.
01:09:26I really do want him to care.
01:09:27I care about him seeing it.
01:09:30I need him to see it.
01:09:31I want him to see it.
01:09:32I want...
01:09:33Say hello, we'll send this one to your mum.
01:09:35Bye, Janet.
01:09:37Ice cream not good?
01:09:42Shall we try the trick?
01:09:44The wind's going to take it.
01:09:45Come on.
01:09:46Ow!
01:09:47Motherfucker, it hurt myself.
01:09:49Did it hurt you?
01:09:50But you could have had it differently.
01:09:52He could have sat there with you,
01:09:54watching your play,
01:09:56with you, being so fucking proud of you.
01:10:00Yes.
01:10:04Oh, God, please show up.
01:10:25Dear Oliver,
01:10:26I'm not the perfect wife.
01:10:28That's for sure.
01:10:30And I realise you could leave at any point
01:10:33and make someone else wildly happy.
01:10:37But please,
01:10:39please stick around.
01:10:42I'm getting there.
01:10:44Love, Honey Pie.
01:10:48How are you going to pitch it?
01:10:50Um...
01:10:51I'm just going to go in, I'm going to say,
01:10:53I think you need to come and see this.
01:10:59From that one.
01:11:01I'm going to give him another try.
01:11:03It's not going to work.
01:11:04Straight to voicemail?
01:11:05Right, like I said, I just called him
01:11:07and it went straight to voicemail.
01:11:09Oliver!
01:11:10It's Geoffrey!
01:11:11Call me!
01:11:12We're going to just have to presume
01:11:14that we're going ahead without him.
01:11:16So you've tried him,
01:11:17I've left him multiple text messages, I'm sure.
01:11:19Does he not care?
01:11:20That's what I don't understand.
01:11:21Does he not care?
01:11:22I'm sure he...
01:11:23You know what?
01:11:24Actually, I don't care.
01:11:25I don't care.
01:11:26No, I care about this.
01:11:27I don't care.
01:11:28If he makes it, he makes it.
01:11:32OK, you go and I'll park up.
01:11:34OK.
01:11:35See you in a sec.
01:11:36Yeah.
01:11:44PHONE BEEPS
01:11:45PHONE BEEPS
01:11:51Oh, God.
01:12:00Ollie?
01:12:03This time now.
01:12:04Come on.
01:12:06Come on, then.
01:12:07This time now.
01:12:08Come on.
01:12:09Ow!
01:12:10This one.
01:12:11This one.
01:12:12This is going to be the one.
01:12:13Don't blink.
01:12:14Oh!
01:12:15Right, you took it, right?
01:12:16I'm going to catch it.
01:12:17I'm going to throw it around.
01:12:18I'm going to get it.
01:12:19I'm going to catch it.
01:12:20There.
01:12:44Ollie?
01:13:15Baba?
01:13:24I'm sorry.
01:13:37Hello, are you Gerry?
01:13:38Please don't touch me.
01:13:39Can you just meet me to come with me now?
01:13:41Would you be willing to do that with me now?
01:13:43Are you touching me at all?
01:13:44Hi, Gerry.
01:13:45Gerry.
01:13:46Sorry.
01:13:47Sorry about him.
01:13:48Hi, I'm Rachel.
01:13:49You don't know me.
01:13:50No.
01:13:51You don't know my friend.
01:13:52No.
01:13:53I wondered if there's any way that we could show you this performance.
01:13:58I feel like I'm in a piece of theatre right now.
01:14:01Just a bit of a different way.
01:14:02I'm used to people just, you know, posting a script.
01:14:04Right.
01:14:05No, obviously.
01:14:06Obviously.
01:14:07I've heard a lot about you.
01:14:08You've got a very good reputation in the industry.
01:14:10Who told you that?
01:14:11I Googled it.
01:14:12You Googled me?
01:14:14Did you?
01:14:15Yeah.
01:14:16Wow.
01:14:17Yeah, it's quite an impressive thread.
01:14:20You are winning me over.
01:14:22Sort of mesmerising me into, like, going somewhere with you.
01:14:26Is he coming too?
01:14:27Yeah, yeah, this way.
01:14:28This oaf?
01:14:34Excuse me, sorry, hi.
01:14:35Hi.
01:14:36Hi.
01:14:37Actually, we're not quite ready yet.
01:14:39Almost, though.
01:14:40So, just wait over there a minute.
01:14:42Hi.
01:14:43Yeah, not ready, not ready yet.
01:14:44Almost, you're early.
01:14:47Oh, hi, Geoff.
01:14:48We're going to just have to start without Ollie.
01:14:50OK.
01:14:51All right, all right, yeah.
01:14:52Everyone, hi.
01:14:53Hi.
01:14:54Thanks for coming.
01:14:55Boy, what a show we've got for you tonight.
01:14:57This is actually written by a new writer, Gillian Walker.
01:15:01So, please, come in, take a seat and enjoy the show.
01:15:07You ready?
01:15:08Yep.
01:15:10I'll be right there.
01:15:34Not you.
01:15:35Not me.
01:15:36All right.
01:15:37I feel like I'm in prison.
01:15:39Yes, I know what you mean.
01:15:40Is that intended?
01:15:41Yeah, we wanted to have a kind of incarcerated beat in the narrative.
01:15:47Just on to that next.
01:15:48OK, I'm feeling a bit manhandled now.
01:15:50Sorry.
01:15:51It's about oppression of women, right?
01:15:53Yeah, I'm getting it right.
01:15:55Because I felt like he's my owner or my executioner.
01:15:58Watch your head.
01:15:59Get in.
01:16:02OK, everything is going to be absolutely fine.
01:16:10Who do you fancy?
01:16:11Who do I fancy?
01:16:13In here, right now, if I wasn't around, who would you be eyeing up?
01:16:18That's a trick question.
01:16:19I'm not falling for that.
01:16:20Who do you fancy?
01:16:22Where are we now?
01:16:23Very nearly there.
01:16:25This is your new theatre space.
01:16:28Your new theatrical experience.
01:16:32Why are you so defensive?
01:16:33It's not like I'm saying pick someone and fuck it on, is it?
01:16:36You're being silly, Jill, and I'm not playing your games.
01:16:39Who do you fancy?
01:16:41Cracking arse.
01:16:43My arse?
01:16:44Your arse is middle-aged, flabby and spotty.
01:16:48Oi, that's...
01:16:50Well, yeah, actually, that's fair enough.
01:16:53Literally, it was exhausting.
01:16:55Like all the things that are awesome in the world at one time.
01:16:59Forget about it.
01:17:00I mean, he was so embarrassed he didn't have a clue where to look.
01:17:04If he wants to fuck around with Raquel, but John said she was OK.
01:17:09Tits, arse, fannies, cocks.
01:17:13Oh, my God, that sounds amazing!
01:17:16It was fab.
01:17:18Until he didn't get up with the kids in the morning.
01:17:21Oh, it was your turn!
01:17:23I was pounded last night.
01:17:26I'm still sore.
01:17:28Pounded!
01:17:29Oh, I can feel your pain!
01:17:32Hot!
01:17:34Hot!
01:17:35Slow!
01:17:37Deep!
01:17:39Deep!
01:17:40Slow!
01:17:42Move!
01:17:44Deep!
01:17:45Move!
01:17:47Move!
01:17:49Move!
01:17:52Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:01Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:06Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:11Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:16Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:21Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:26Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:30Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:35Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:40Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:45Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:50Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:55Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:18:59Oh, I feel so lonely!
01:19:04I hold this letter in my hand
01:19:08A plea, a petition, a kind of prayer
01:19:12Hope it does as I plan
01:19:16Losing her again is more than I can bear
01:19:21Kiss the cold white envelope
01:19:25Press my lips against her name
01:19:29Two hundred words we live in hope
01:19:33Sky hangs heavy with rain
01:19:38Love letter, love letter
01:19:46Go get her, go get her
01:19:52Love letter, love letter
01:20:01Go tell her, go tell her
01:20:06I love you.
01:20:09I never want to be without you again.
01:20:14Wicked wind whips up the hill
01:20:19Handful of hopeful words
01:20:23I love her and I always will
01:20:27Sky is ready to burst
01:20:31Said something I did not mean to say
01:20:35Said something I did not mean to say