- 1 year ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:50Operation Jealousy?
01:52Yep.
01:53You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back
01:57together with you.
01:58Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the
02:24night.
02:25Wait, how do you know about this?
02:27This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:49Okay, fair enough.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And...
02:52Oh, oh, whoa.
02:53You already have a match, dude.
02:54You have a match.
02:55And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:58Oh my god, let me see.
03:00Swoonworthy.
03:01Yeah.
03:02Local athlete.
03:03He has a five-star rating.
03:04Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:06Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:07Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy app.
03:09It's a privacy app.
03:10It's a privacy app.
03:11It's a privacy app.
03:12It's a privacy app.
03:13It's a privacy app.
03:14It's a privacy app.
03:15Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:17You have to commit to at least a meet-up.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:25Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoey!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoey!
03:38Too soon!
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:57Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
04:00Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um, no.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah, you too.
04:12You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:36You don't have to wait.
04:37Thank you, though.
04:38I'm not.
04:39Actually, I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:42Do you have to do it right here?
04:44It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:50I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:52Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:59Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Stop Shop 239.
05:01Oh, man.
05:02What?
05:03This is epic.
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08It's not easy.
05:09Please.
05:10Don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay.
05:12I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:21What?
05:22That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a day to make Jake jealous.
05:27Great.
05:28I'm in.
05:29No.
05:30Look, we can't do that.
05:31He's your brother.
05:32Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you?
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:40Yeah.
05:41Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:43Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous, and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
06:02Fine.
06:03But we follow my plan.
06:04No improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:08So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:21Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend.
06:30Remember?
06:31You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay, okay, yeah.
06:34What was the question?
06:36Where did we go on our first date?
06:38Um...
06:40We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:48It's not lame, it's believable.
06:51No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:03Well...
07:05Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:09Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:12I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:15Fine, love at second sight.
07:18Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow.
07:30How romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:34Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With the fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:48Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:56How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risk worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:19Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:27Nope.
08:28No more of that.
08:30Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:33What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:35You already look amazing with that.
08:37You can save the theatrics for now.
08:39We're not at the party yet.
08:40No, I'm serious.
08:41You look beautiful.
08:43You always do.
08:46I guess I'm just nervous.
08:48Don't worry.
08:49I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:51I promise.
08:52You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:54I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:56Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:58When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:02I mean, you're ridiculously smart.
09:06You started all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:09You still have time for math leads.
09:11I can't believe you know all that.
09:15I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend.
09:19I had to keep my distance, but I still paid attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole too cool for school act,
09:26you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Coral.
09:29Hey, careful.
09:31I have a reputation doable.
09:33No, I'm serious.
09:34I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:37I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:44Claire?
09:45We're here.
09:47We're here.
10:05People are looking.
10:07Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking because you're with me.
10:09When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun with me.
10:34I'm going to give this drinks.
10:53I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow.
11:02It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right?
11:05It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:10You and the town hottie?
11:12No, I mean, we're just, I don't know.
11:15Pretending or actually having fun for once?
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my God, there he is.
11:28Oh my God, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me.
11:31Look at his face.
11:33Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:43He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:48It's time to AF this party up.
11:57Did someone say never have I ever?
11:59Woo!
11:59Let's play.
12:04I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:07So wait, why don't you go first?
12:21Okay.
12:23Um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:27Ooh, cute.
12:30Now let's see.
12:32Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:37Ooh!
12:38Okay.
12:40Ooh!
12:40Cute.
12:42Now let's see.
12:44Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:49Ooh!
12:50Okay.
12:51Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:58Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:05Face it, Claire, you'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Claire.
13:23Seriously, Claire?
13:24You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything.
13:27It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:38Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Because that game was brutal.
13:42And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:46He said he was going to be by my side the entire night and I thought we were...
13:52Doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little box,
14:02it all comes crashing out around me.
14:04And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where, probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:13So, yeah, I'm done planning.
14:15Plans can suck it.
14:17Hey, sorry I ran out like that.
14:20I left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:22Of course.
14:24What?
14:25Just...
14:26Wait, wait, wait.
14:27Where are you going?
14:28Home.
14:29And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:31I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:32Hey, talk to me.
14:33You just left me in there.
14:36I know.
14:37I'm sorry.
14:38I wasn't thinking.
14:39I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:40Look, you were right.
14:41Jake's an ass.
14:42So, the plan, this...
14:43It's over.
14:44What if I don't want it to be over?
14:45What if I don't want it to be over?
14:46What if I don't want it to be over?
14:47You could have your pick of any girl out there, so why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
14:49Yeah, I got it.
14:50I got it.
14:51I got it.
14:52I got it.
14:53I got it.
14:54I got it.
14:55I got it.
14:56I got it.
14:57I got it.
14:58I got it.
14:59I got it.
15:00What if I don't want it to be over?
15:03What if I don't want it to be over?
15:06You could have your pick of any girl out there, so why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:10Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:14What?
15:15I deactivated my account.
15:17Why would you do that?
15:19Look, I know.
15:20I'm just another number.
15:21You're not just another number, okay?
15:23You never were.
15:25I don't want a fake date with you anymore.
15:28All right, I want a real one.
15:37I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:41Well, maybe I realize that you're the risk worth taking.
15:58Come on.
16:07Slapshot 239.
16:09Pick me home.
16:11Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:17Yeah, just make sure these two dots match.
16:21They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:23Okay.
16:24I am trusting the process.
16:26I'm just glad we get to go stag together.
16:28You never got a date, right?
16:30No date.
16:31But Damon's really not coming?
16:33I bought him a ticket in case he changed his mind, but he won't budge.
16:36Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:42No way.
16:45I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:47And of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:51I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:56Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:59At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
17:02Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:11Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise.
17:14Shocker.
17:15Where did you even hear that, anyway?
17:17I don't even remember. You know, gossip travels.
17:23That looks pretty good.
17:25But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:33Yes, Damon.
17:35My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:42I mean, at least he's hot.
17:45So hot.
17:48It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:51Um, not that weird.
17:52We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why? I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:56As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations,
17:59it was over before it began.
18:01J-Zoey.
18:03J-Zoey.
18:04Absolutely not.
18:06Well, more Zoe for me.
18:09Nothing's going to keep us apart.
18:11Oh, it's Damon!
18:13Oh, it's Damon!
18:15Or should I say Claremont?
18:18Can I call you back to finish this?
18:20Yeah, you can.
18:21Claremont.
18:22But you better, because we need to finish this look.
18:24Okay, bye!
18:26Hey, beautif-
18:28What's up with your eyes?
18:30It's not finished yet.
18:32You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:35Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes!
18:39I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:42My sincerest apologies, your royalness.
18:46I know how you can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:49Come on, you're seriously going to let me do this alone?
18:52You're not going to be alone.
18:53I thought you were wrong with Zoe.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jake.
18:59Yep, there's Jake, bouncing off the walls.
19:02Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:09What do you mean?
19:10Chelsea's been soft ghosting him.
19:12I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:14Why could that be?
19:16Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:20Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:22I bet that is it.
19:24She's going to be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:28She's going to be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:32And then, you know, for the rest of the school year, because I would have to play in prom
19:37and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen and then-
19:40I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:44How could she not be?
19:46Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake.
19:51It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say.
19:53You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:55I get this seems like a big deal to you now, but I promise when you get out of high school,
20:00you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:04Wow.
20:05And, uh, you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature, maybe you should skip the dance together,
20:16get a cheese board and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:23Oh, look.
20:25Someone my age is calling.
20:27I didn't mean- Claire.
20:28Bye.
20:29I need to fix this.
20:37Hey, Jake.
20:39Claire!
20:40Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:43Whoa, did Zoe do this to you?
20:48It's a work in progress.
20:49What's up?
20:50Cool.
20:51Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base and just, you know, make sure that things don't
20:59get awkward tonight.
21:01You mean if we win?
21:03Uh, we're gonna win.
21:05Is Chelsea gonna be upset if win, we win?
21:12If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:15Aww, texting someone else?
21:17It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship.
21:20That would suck.
21:21Look, Claire, I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but I really am sorry.
21:30I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I would.
21:37It's fine.
21:38It's fine.
21:39Just, at least she'll be there.
21:42Damon won't even come.
21:44Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:48I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know!
21:51It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:56Jinx!
21:58Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:03Whoa.
22:04Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:07Yeah.
22:08I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:12And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:19Yeah.
22:20Me neither.
22:22I hope we win so we at least get one dance together.
22:29Well, how about either way we make it happen.
22:32One dance before the night's over.
22:34Deal.
22:35As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year.
22:41It was both.
22:43Fine.
22:46As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What?
22:51You mean...
22:52This one?
22:53Oh, God.
22:54My eyes!
22:55Stop it!
22:56My eyes!
22:57What, like, you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on.
23:04Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see.
23:07By all means.
23:08Oh, uh, sorry.
23:25Chelsea's calling me.
23:26I should get it.
23:28I'll see you later?
23:29Yeah, yeah.
23:30See ya.
23:31See ya.
23:49Hello?
23:51Hello?
23:52I'm just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:56Wow.
23:57You look incredible.
23:59Thanks.
24:00Are you...
24:01Are you going somewhere?
24:02Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:06Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:08I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and...
24:13I don't know.
24:14I really wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry too.
24:16I...
24:17I should have known how important it was to you.
24:19It's okay.
24:20God, how do you...
24:22How do you do this?
24:23You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:28If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:32Is this going to match your dress?
24:34You're coming?
24:36And you got me a corsage?
24:38Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:40I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:43My grandmothers are just cute.
24:45Wait, what?
24:46Nothing.
24:47Nothing.
24:48I'm just talking to myself.
24:50Okay, well how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:53Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to.
24:55And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
25:00Kay!
25:15This part always gets me.
25:20Yes!
25:21Yes!
25:22Yes!
25:23It is...
25:24I'm so sad.
25:25Are you watching hockey right now?
25:27What?
25:28No.
25:29No, I mean, I'm...
25:30I'm not NOT watching hockey.
25:32Come on, babe.
25:34Tell me some slack.
25:35It's my birthday tomorrow, and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:37This is a classic, Damon.
25:39Anybody who's anybody has seen this.
25:41Classics just code for old.
25:43I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:46Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:50Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half of the day, and then, you know, we got to party later.
25:59Crap, crap, crap, crap.
26:02Um, Nico, guitar plans is calling?
26:06Who's that?
26:07I, I completely forgot.
26:09I have a lesson.
26:11Val!
26:12Is this why you've gotten someone to guitar lately?
26:15Hey, my favorite student, and my favorite student's friend?
26:23We were just watching The Long Way, and we lost track of time.
26:27Oh, yes!
26:28I see you took my recommendation.
26:30Such a classic.
26:32Boyfriend.
26:35What?
26:36I'm not her friend.
26:37I'm her boyfriend.
26:38Oh, lucky guy.
26:40Who was just leaving.
26:42Bye, Damon.
26:43I mean, I can stay.
26:45I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:48But, no!
26:49I, I mean...
26:50No!
26:51No!
26:52She's right.
26:53Music is so personal.
26:55So intimate.
26:56Something to be shared between two.
26:57Or three.
26:58Oh, no.
26:59Almost never three.
27:04Young love.
27:05Such a beautiful thing.
27:06Love, who said?
27:08I, I don't, we...
27:10I, I, we don't, um...
27:14Have you ever been in love?
27:17Of course.
27:18Yeah, I, I've been in love a bunch of times.
27:22I mean, not a, not a bunch of times.
27:24The normal amount of times.
27:26There's just a lot of pressure on when to say it, you know?
27:30There's just, there's a lot of stress, and then, you know, who should say it first, or
27:34when you should say it, or if they'll ever say it back, and...
27:38Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:46Should we begin?
27:48Should we begin?
27:50Yeah.
27:51Yeah.
27:57Damon?
27:58Hey, Zoe!
27:59What's up?
28:00How are you doing?
28:01I'm good.
28:02That's awesome.
28:06I'm, I'm also good.
28:08You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks, coming home tomorrow.
28:12So, here's a funny little question for you.
28:16Claire's guitar teacher.
28:18Nico.
28:19Yeah.
28:20He's, he's not even that good looking, like, at all.
28:22Oh, no, he's a solid 9.5, and then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:26I just think it's, it's weird, you know, we, she's doubled her lessons while I've been
28:36away, and we're watching movies they both like.
28:39Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar
28:43player multiple times a week?
28:44I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:46Zoe.
28:47Okay.
28:48I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:55I would know that she really wants to be with me, and not him.
28:59I just don't get it.
29:01I mean, she's being so secretive about it.
29:03I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:05Yeah, Damon, I don't know.
29:08Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:10Who am I going to talk to, Zoe?
29:12Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:13If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:17Jake?
29:18Yeah.
29:19Is that weird?
29:20I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:23Yeah, okay.
29:24You're right.
29:26You're good friends, though.
29:27Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:29Don't stress.
29:30I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
29:33Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow?
29:35Focus on that.
29:36Yeah.
29:37Thanks, Zoe.
29:38I'll see you tomorrow.
29:40Hey, birthday boy.
29:50Not until tomorrow.
29:51Where's Jake?
29:52He's in the shower.
29:53He just got back from practice and he's disgusting.
29:55I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:03So what's on the agenda?
30:04What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:06Kidding.
30:07Obviously.
30:08Does perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:11Other than running off the guitar teacher?
30:13Probably not.
30:14Oh, that's right.
30:15She started signing with Nico.
30:16Wait, you know Nico?
30:18Yeah.
30:19I set them up.
30:20He's amazing.
30:21So, so talented.
30:23So, so talented.
30:25What do you mean you set them up?
30:27Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn,
30:31so...
30:32Yeah, I don't know.
30:33I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great.
30:35So this is your fault.
30:36Thanks a lot.
30:37Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual?
30:40That's not...
30:42That's not true.
30:43I listen.
30:44Whatever.
30:45Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico.
30:51Every girl should have a few lessons with him.
30:53He teaches you so much.
30:55I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:59What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:01What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:03Music, art, culture, languages.
31:07You're not, like, afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation
31:12with.
31:13Are you?
31:14We have conversations, Chelsea.
31:16Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:18Oh, yeah.
31:19The what, huh?
31:20Hockey?
31:21And then hockey?
31:22Right, there's always hockey.
31:23Seriously, though, Damon, hockey's like your one true love and it's kind of boring.
31:28I love other things.
31:30Like what?
31:31Like Claire.
31:32And I don't want her running off with some guitar-playing, art-culture-looking snob,
31:39all right?
31:41Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced
31:47us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked and she's actually
31:51kind of interesting.
31:55So maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
31:59Yeah.
32:00It's actually not terrible advice.
32:03I considered my birthday gift to you.
32:06Gee, thanks a lot.
32:08So, what are you still doing here?
32:11Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:15Bye!
32:16So, what are you still doing here?
32:18Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:22Bye!
32:23Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever.
32:25Thanks, bye.
32:26Hey, I was just going to call you.
32:43You're all dressed up.
32:45Damon, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel, and this was going to be your birthday
32:52but I just, I didn't think I could wait.
33:00Okay.
33:10You're the cream in my coffee, you're the apple of my eye.
33:15You make me want to laugh, and I think I'm gonna cry.
33:18Like, you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
33:26I have to say, I...
33:30I love you.
33:31I love you too.
33:34I love you too.
33:37Mom and steal her.
33:38I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:40I love you so much, Claire.
33:42And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and...
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah, and she told me not to worry.
33:49And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:52Huh.
33:53Well...
33:54And I talked to Chelsea.
33:56Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58I don't know, she sucks.
33:59But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:02I want to make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:06I want to watch whatever you want to watch and talk about musicals.
34:10Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:12Just, no subtitles.
34:14Deal?
34:15Deal.
34:16Okay.
34:17Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:20Do you think I could finish my song?
34:22I worked really hard on it.
34:24Yes, please.
34:25I'm going to laugh.
34:26I'm going to laugh.
34:27I'm going to laugh.
34:28I'm going to laugh.
34:30I'm going to laugh.
34:31Blue-eyed baby as bright as the sky.
34:32Head in the clouds, and then we fell so high.
34:33I think that you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
34:38I have to say I love you.
34:39Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
34:43I have to say I love you.
34:49Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
34:52Do-do-do-do-do-do.
34:56Did you change your pillowcases?
34:59No.
35:00Claire, do not leave them there.
35:01That looks like trash.
35:03Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:05Not really, but yeah.
35:08Did you get the champagne?
35:10Yes.
35:10Chocolates, rose petals, massage oils, scented candles, all of that.
35:16Claire, I'm playing with you.
35:18I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:21One, Damon's been in your room, and two, you're not a virgin.
35:24I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:27True.
35:28That's awkward.
35:30Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers.
35:37Please do not ever Google that.
35:40Ever.
35:41You're not helping.
35:42So, look, this is a big night.
35:45After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean, this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon.
35:50There's no going back.
35:52Going back to what?
35:53To Jake?
35:54Have you guys been talking or something?
35:57No.
35:57Not talking.
35:58Just, I don't know.
36:01We dated for so long.
36:02It feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:06And, plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:11About time.
36:12She dragged that on long enough.
36:14What's that supposed to mean?
36:15Nothing, Claire.
36:17I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal.
36:20You're good.
36:20You think they'll talk about it?
36:21Oh, my God.
36:23What if they compare notes?
36:25Oh, God.
36:25That's so awkward.
36:26I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:29Plus, Damon is going to be ten times better than Jake.
36:32Think about all that experience.
36:34Why would you say that?
36:36So, I didn't even think of it like that.
36:40He's been with so many girls.
36:42What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:45God, thanks a lot.
36:47It's just what I needed.
36:48That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:52Well, it's Damon.
36:54Wish me luck.
36:55Bye.
37:01Hey.
37:03You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good,
37:10I'll let it slide.
37:12You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good,
37:19I'll let it slide.
37:21Hey, so I got some news.
37:23Bad news?
37:24No, just, do you remember Natasha?
37:27Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to, like, live off the land in Japan?
37:34Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great.
37:37So you remember.
37:39She's back.
37:40Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:42I know we're supposed to hang tonight.
37:43Do you mind if I rain check?
37:44Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:52Hmm, let me think about that.
37:54I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise.
37:56She just wants to stop by, show me some pictures, and she's leaving again in, like, a week.
38:00Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place?
38:02Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:08Actually, uh, do not.
38:11She is the literal girl version of you.
38:13That's exactly why we didn't work.
38:15Trust me, it's strictly a friend name.
38:17I don't know.
38:17I know who you guys were when you were together.
38:19You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:21Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:24I'm being serious.
38:25We both have exes, Claire.
38:27Come on.
38:28Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:30Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:34Okay, I don't want to fight.
38:35I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:38I was hoping this could be our special...
38:42She's here.
38:42I gotta go.
38:43Love you.
38:57I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
39:01Ha ha.
39:02Funny.
39:03You know what else is funny?
39:05Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:07Wow.
39:08Which one?
39:09Please don't say Natasha.
39:11Oh.
39:12Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:16Thailand.
39:17And just for the year, sadly.
39:20Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense, and now she's returned to ruin my perfect night.
39:26Claire, she's an influencer.
39:27Not a comic book villain.
39:29Same difference.
39:30Okay, Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything.
39:33Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:36He showered.
39:38Okay.
39:39He's pretty.
39:40He does that.
39:42Anything else?
39:43I trust Damon.
39:45I don't trust her.
39:48Shit.
39:49She just posted a story.
39:51I can't look at it.
39:52She'll know.
39:52She has 80,000 followers.
39:54She's not gonna see your name.
39:56I can't look, Zoe.
39:57You look.
39:58What is it?
40:02Are they kissing?
40:04Are they back together?
40:05Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:08Why would you have me look at that?
40:20This is it.
40:21You're gonna get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:31Again, with the not helping.
40:33This was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives.
40:35I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:37But you're being insane.
40:39Damon loves you.
40:40He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:42Did you see the photo?
40:44He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:48They're not snuggling.
40:50And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
40:56You didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
41:01What's going on?
41:02Why are you taking my side on this?
41:05Nothing's wrong with me.
41:06I'm just saying that, like, whatever.
41:09I gotta go.
41:10Don't trip.
41:11I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:26Hi.
41:27You calling from Reykjavik?
41:28What?
41:30Nothing.
41:30Where are you?
41:32I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:34Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take.
41:38What happened?
41:40Nothing.
41:40What?
41:40Nothing.
41:41Nothing, nothing, or something, nothing.
41:45You were right.
41:46That was a bad idea.
41:47It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:50She hasn't changed at all.
41:51I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and she tried to kiss me.
41:56Wait.
41:57You kissed?
41:58No, no, she tried.
42:00Look, I'm really sorry, Claire.
42:01I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
42:03Did you want to kiss her?
42:05No way.
42:06Are you kidding?
42:07You're the only person I want to kiss.
42:08Like, ever.
42:09Why don't you say that to my face?
42:13Why don't you let me up?
42:14I'm outside.
42:16You're here?
42:18Wait, are you sure?
42:19I only have 700 followers.
42:21Please, you know she bought all those followers, right?
42:24What?
42:25100%.
42:26But do I see some black silk under there?
42:29I'm much more interested in that.
42:31Come on, let me up.
42:39Keep going.
42:40Now, target zone for the tree.
42:41Punch it right for the front of the face.
42:43Palms are down.
42:44Elbows are tight.
42:45There we go.
42:46Now, we're going to do this.
42:47Damon's texted me, I love you three times since this morning.
42:51Who knew he'd get some mushy after sex?
42:54That's awesome.
42:55And he took me out for breakfast.
42:58Did I say that already?
42:59Like, four times.
43:01Oh, well, now I guess I said it five.
43:03Anyway, could you hear that Natasha pays for her followers?
43:06How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Two uppercuts, let's go.
43:12Uppercuts, target zone.
43:13Where is it?
43:13Underneath the chin.
43:14Elbows tied to the body.
43:16Now.
43:17Wow.
43:18That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:22Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad, I'm just tired.
43:27Well, we can pause it.
43:28I mean, no, Claire.
43:29I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating Damon.
43:35I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right?
43:39And then Damon came.
43:40And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon.
43:44And now Damon's calling me to talk about you, and I am tired of it.
43:48We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend.
43:51No, I'm your best friend, and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:55I am your best friend.
43:56No, I'm your best friend, and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend,
44:03but I don't think it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend.
44:05I mean, well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend
44:08has been going through something huge the past few months.
44:12Oh, my God.
44:14What?
44:14Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually great.
44:18I've been seeing someone, and it's getting pretty serious, but it's been exhausting
44:24not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything.
44:29This is so exciting.
44:30Who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:32What do you mean it's not important?
44:35I want to know who stole my bestie's heart.
44:37Come on.
44:38She didn't steal anything.
44:39It just kind of happened.
44:41I didn't think we'd get along so well, but she's just perfect.
44:48Okay, so we've established it's a girl.
44:52I mean, that shrinks the pool a little, but you still haven't given me a good enough hint.
44:56Okay, maybe she's not perfect, and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking.
45:01I don't know.
45:02I don't know what we are.
45:04It's like, we're dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:09I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:13What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:16Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:19I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:23What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:26Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:28Hold on.
45:31You're dating Chelsea?
45:33Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea.
45:37Are you kidding me?
45:38We hate Chelsea!
45:40You know she broke up with Jake, and he's like devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake.
45:45We care about me, right?
45:46So you're the other woman now.
45:48That's not fair.
45:50Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:52I'm sorry, what?
45:53She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:59Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:01Aren't you in heaven with Damon?
46:02Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:05Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the
46:10she-devil herself.
46:12I would have talked you out of it.
46:14You don't even know her, Claire.
46:15See, it's like I don't know either of you.
46:17And whose fault is that?
46:19Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once,
46:27you get up on your high horse, and you rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:31I'm over it.
46:32Well, that went well.
46:44Uh-oh.
46:45How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:53Gross.
46:54I'm sorry, babe.
46:55I know it couldn't happen easy, but at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you
46:59to tell her?
47:00That feels like a small win.
47:02I guess.
47:03I don't know.
47:03It's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:07Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up,
47:11and I totally respect that.
47:13I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:19Cool.
47:21Cool.
47:22Chelsea, I really like you, and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited
47:34for me.
47:36Whatever.
47:38I don't need her.
47:39I have you.
47:40As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much history
47:45to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about?
47:48Yeah, it's active.
47:50Babe, I'm serious.
47:52You guys have been friends forever, and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years
47:55being the needy one.
47:57Babe, I'm serious.
47:58You guys have been friends forever, and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years
48:02being the needy one.
48:03Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired.
48:06They're done.
48:08I'm over it.
48:08I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason
48:13with Claire, you just bottled it up, and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up
48:17for yourself.
48:18Well, she dominates every single conversation with, me and Damon did this, and me and Damon
48:23did that.
48:24So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us, or about how
48:29you were feeling?
48:30Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond.
48:35Maybe.
48:36Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:40Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:46Bad habit.
48:49Alright, let me figure this out.
48:52Okay, call me back.
48:54Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea?
49:00Did I open a curse box?
49:01Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:04What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:15Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life, too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this?
49:19Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:23No.
49:24Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group, and I'm sick of it.
49:28I thought you guys were becoming buds.
49:29Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Yeah, another way how she's ruined our lives.
49:35Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:41Nothing.
49:42I just, I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:45I think it's cool.
49:46Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me, then?
49:56Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did.
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:01No, no.
50:03I just, I think it's, maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:10Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone.
50:12She's the chillest person I know.
50:14I'm sorry to say it, babe.
50:15You know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:19I was wrong.
50:21You're still very cute, though.
50:23And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:26Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:30Don't hold your breath.
50:31Okay, I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this.
50:41I'm proud of you.
50:43And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course.
50:50You got this.
50:55Pick up, please pick up.
50:57Never have I ever...
51:01Been the biggest jerk in the history of the world?
51:04I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know.
51:15I freaked.
51:17I'm just, I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:21But that doesn't matter.
51:24Because this isn't about me.
51:26Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:30Seriously, Claire.
51:31I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:35I think she might be...
51:37My person.
51:39If you're happy...
51:41I'm happy.
51:43Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:57You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:04I checked.
52:05I'm sorry, too.
52:11I should have told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:22If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:25Wait, Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:32But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets.
52:41You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just...
52:46Your special night?
52:56You have dirt Amen.
52:57Why is RachelIT?
52:57See you soon.
52:58Stop watching.
52:59Bye.
53:00Bye.
53:01Bye.
53:03Leave me alone here.
53:05Bye.
53:07Bye.
53:08Bye.
53:10Bye.
53:18Bye.
53:21Bye.
53:24Bye.
53:24Bye.
53:25Bye.
53:25Bye.