00:00Did you have a girlfriend?
00:01No.
00:01But you did.
00:02Yeah.
00:03Who broke up with who? You? Her or her?
00:05It was on her.
00:06It was on her?
00:08That's one way of saying it.
00:13Yeah, we broke up. It was on her.
00:18How did, how did, how did she undo it?
00:24It was a text during election night.
00:26A text during election night?
00:30Oh my god!
00:32Okay, I got a couple questions.
00:38Question number one.
00:40Who did you vote for in that election?
00:44What was that?
00:45I didn't vote.
00:46You didn't vote.
00:47Okay.
00:49Oh, you're right. Kamala lost by one vote.
00:54Oh no, if only he had done it.
00:59That was the problem.
01:01It was only one.
01:03That's how close she was in Michigan.
01:08What state do you live in?
01:10Virginia.
01:11Virginia.
01:12Red or blue?
01:14Almost purple now.
01:16Blue.
01:16How did it go in your life?
01:18Blue.
01:18Okay.
01:19So who gives a fuck, you know?
01:21But did that have anything to do with her breaking up with you?
01:24I said I didn't think Kamala was going to win.
01:27She did it.
01:27Oh shit.
01:28She did it.
01:32Wait.
01:35This is the problem with Democrats.
01:37Real quick.
01:37Let's just...
01:38Sidebar.
01:40You just said the facts.
01:42And she said we're breaking up.
01:44Yeah, I'm a problem about patriarchy and whatever.
01:47I don't know.
01:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:50And uh...
01:53Do you have these text messages on you right now?
02:03Can I see them?
02:04Can I read them?
02:11Okay.
02:12Oh my god.
02:13Okay, okay, we're good.
02:20It's...
02:20It's not gonna be funny by the way.
02:22I've already seen it.
02:23I was like...
02:23Please don't get to the funny...
02:26Okay, okay, okay.
02:27So...
02:28So she said...
02:29She said...
02:29Oh my god, I had a fucking breakdown tonight.
02:31Right.
02:31The results of this election is scary.
02:33Trump is winning a lot of states.
02:34Yes.
02:35I...
02:35Yeah, we all agree.
02:36We're all here.
02:37Listen...
02:38Listen, if only my show was the one who voted, Jill Stein would've had a chance.
02:44Okay, so...
02:45So you said...
02:46You said...
02:46Don't stress it.
02:48Uh...
02:49Uh...
02:49So you tried to calm it down.
02:52You know?
02:52I know where I went wrong, but...
02:53Yeah.
02:54Okay, okay.
02:55Well, okay, then I'll read it.
02:56We'll see where you went wrong.
02:57Don't stress it.
02:58I don't believe policy changes much based on the face of the president.
03:02No!
03:02Okay, listen, listen.
03:04Guys!
03:05He's letting me read his text messages out loud.
03:10I promise you, you're sitting next to a Trump voter right now.
03:13They just know not to give their phone to a stand-up comedian.
03:22Honestly, I thought it was going to be a tighter race, but this is a sad blowout.
03:27Okay?
03:28Um...
03:29And then you said...
03:30Oh, wait!
03:30She's catching up.
03:35What part of the night was this?
03:36Can you remind me?
03:38You were worried, yeah?
03:40Any note of the prediction definitely gave me up.
03:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:42Okay.
03:43So she said, okay, good.
03:48I'm listening to the news now.
03:49And then you sent 173 to 190.
03:52Those are the electoral counts?
03:53Oh, that was the prediction, I guess.
03:54The prediction.
03:55Okay, cool.
03:56Last time I checked, it was 75, 175, yeah.
03:59Honestly, though, I do think Trump is still going to win.
04:02I can't imagine the general population of America would vote Kavala.
04:06Oh!
04:06You did not.
04:07He is right, though!
04:09Oh, my God!
04:10He's fucking...
04:11He's right!
04:13He's right!
04:14Okay.
04:16Here we go.
04:17Here we go.
04:20Here we go.
04:21Now, again, I promise, every beat of this, everyone's going to go,
04:24Oh!
04:24And then I just want you to remember the conclusion, okay?
04:32I see what you said.
04:33I do think Trump is going to win.
04:34I can't imagine the general population of America would vote Kavala.
04:36Why not?
04:37Because she's a woman.
04:40Now, this is where you should have consulted a friend.
04:46So why not?
04:47Because she's a woman.
04:48And you simply said,
04:50Yep!
04:58And she said, Wow!
05:03And then I'm sure your dot dot dots went up for a couple minutes.
05:08You said,
05:09Only less likely choice for America as a president than someone of an ethnic background is of the female gender.
05:17Honestly, dude, I'm really disappointed to hear you say that.
05:20I'm not saying it should be that way.
05:21Good for you.
05:22I believe that's how most people look at it.
05:24Keep in mind we live in an area of the country that is very different in terms of diversity or
05:28progressiveness compared to the majority of the country.
05:31Yes or no?
05:33And she said,
05:33That's not true. Obama was elected and he's black.
05:40What you said really fucking pissed me off and it was sexist and it gives into the fucked up patriarchy
05:44we live in.
05:45That made me realize our personalities are too different and this isn't going to work.
05:49It was fun going on dates, but I need to end this.
05:51Our personalities are too different. Goodbye.
05:56And then you just wrote back,
05:57Bitch
06:06He didn't write that.
06:08So just to be clear.
06:10In your defense
06:11You gave honestly what the Democratic Party has been saying for the last two months
06:17And... and she dumped you because of it
06:21Honestly, if this turned you into a Trump voter
06:24I wouldn't blame you
06:29I think we all owe this man an apology
06:33Thank you
06:34Thank you very much
06:43Honestly
06:44The real credit to you is that you did not text
06:47After Trump won
06:49You could have
06:54You could
06:59In fact
07:03When I put this video online
07:06You can simply send the link
07:17In the end
07:18In the end
07:26In the end
07:26In the end
07:26With this video
07:26In the end
07:27In the end
