00:01Tell me, what do you know about Rosencrantz and Guildenstern?
00:06Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, they're two idiots hired to spy on Hamlet.
00:10They die at the end, right?
00:13Do you have some young husband in bed with you?
00:16No.
00:16I have to go to the theater where I'm directing Hamlet.
00:21Sort of.
00:21This is Theo Horace, our writer.
00:24The control that this man has over these women is unbelievable.
00:29Did I do good, Master?
00:31No, you did not.
00:32Now everyone thinks he's dead, he can't be in the play.
00:35We've already had all those posters made.
00:37Maybe one of us is gonna, like, get promoted to playing Hamlet, Bob.
00:40That's definitely me.
00:42Why is it definitely you?
00:43Because I'm pretty sure Hamlet wasn't some sort of Spanish male whore.
00:48Everyone involved dies or becomes a vampire themselves.
00:51I know, we're making a play about vampires.
00:54It's not like they're real.
00:55Are they?
00:57I've got to tell you something.
01:02I can't die.
01:02This is terrible timing for me.
01:04I'm playing Hamlet right now.
01:05I think you can kill them with a steak.
01:07You think you drink all that raw blood that they can't handle with steak?
01:10Weird, isn't it?
01:12I want him to take his life.
01:13Theo's a vampire.
01:14You care for Anna enough to risk your life to say, well, that's what I'm asking.
01:17I don't think I can go through with this.
01:19What's the worst that can happen?
01:20See, I don't know, Dad.
01:21Maybe that I die or become a vampire.
01:25I'm going to find the grail and try to cure this curse.
01:28But it's not a curse.
01:29It's a gift.
01:29And with it, you never have to grow up.
01:31I thought you wanted me to grow up.
01:35Okay, so your son's crazy, as you probably know.
01:38And we have enough evidence here to plead insanity, if he turns himself in.
01:45Like, since we're making these modernizations, bro, instead of Rosencrantz and Guildensterns?
01:50But what about, like, Dudencrantz and Dagenstern?
01:54Quick note, there's still time to combine this into one character.
01:59Music
02:01.
02:01Music
02:01.
02:01.
