00:00She knows a few things about entertaining. Catherine, get on up here.
00:06Hello. You guys, I figured out how to not be nervous as we're coming up here.
00:10And it's drink two glasses of wine really quickly.
00:13I feel great. So just to set the scene for what you're about to experience,
00:18I was supposed to be doing this with my co-worker, Rebecca.
00:21She's unfortunately sick today. We should all send her our best wishes.
00:25So there's actually 50% of the women who are supposed to be on this stage right now,
00:29which felt kind of fitting. So this is going exactly to plan.
00:34So while I can't do what our original pitch was,
00:36which did involve acting out the peach scene from Call Me By Your Name,
00:41and that's not a joke. That's what it involved.
00:45I'm going to talk about another part of my life that gender has kind of shaped,
00:49and it's that I had a stay-at-home dad.
00:53I didn't know that that was not normal until my junior year of high school.
00:59When my teacher said kind of offhand, you know, some people have stay-at-home dads,
01:03and everyone in the class was like, hmm.
01:05And I was like, hmm.
01:08And I mean, my mom, this is always what I knew.
01:11And my mom, my mom worked the same job her whole life.
01:14She actually went into retirement last year,
01:16which is something no one in this room is ever going to experience.
01:21But it's just as how it was.
01:22I mean, my dad did work for a little bit during my early years,
01:26but when I was about seven, they both kind of decided, you know,
01:29dad will stay home with me and my sister, and my mom will continue working.
01:32And this was the 90s, so they were woke as hell.
01:37Yeah, so my dad would pick me up from play practice.
01:40He would take me to the dentist.
01:41He would call the teachers whenever I felt they were treating me unfairly,
01:44which was often.
01:47And, yeah, I mean, and then it just is why I get kind of so annoyed
01:53when there are those, like, one-season shows that get canceled
01:56that the whole premise of them is, like, man tried to raise baby.
01:59And because it's just, well, for one, it perpetuates this stereotype
02:04that women are born just inherently knowing how to raise a child,
02:08how to raise a human life, which is I'm still raising my own human life.
02:12I don't think any of us have any idea how to do that,
02:15so it's pretty, it's kind of the great equalizer.
02:17But then there's the other issue of that even if they do make the decision,
02:20like my mom, to go back to work, they're plagued with this imagery
02:24of just that their male partner is home with the baby,
02:28like, possibly carrying it around by its leg like a dirty dish towel,
02:32which my dad only did to me once, so it's not fair to paint that.
02:37No, there was none of that stuff.
02:39There was, like, my dad never had to do the thing you see sitcoms dad do,
02:42which is, like, you know, tell their daughter how to use a tampon applicator.
02:46I did not ask my dad about that.
02:49When I got my period for the first time,
02:50it was during a matinee performance of Music Man Jr.
02:56And so it happened.
02:57I felt it happen, kind of going like this, and I was like, oh.
03:00And then I got off stage.
03:03I carried on with the rest of the day.
03:05I went home.
03:05I got an AIM, AOL Instant Messenger.
03:09And my mom worked in IT, so she also had an account.
03:12And so I found her in the list, and I was like, mother, hello.
03:18I did get my period today.
03:20And she immediately called me, because why are we doing those in AIM?
03:23And she talked me through the basics, and it was fine.
03:26My dad never knew.
03:27Some other things, my dad didn't have to do the thing where he had to be, like,
03:32chummy with the PTA ladies, because he went to culinary school,
03:35and he can cook a muffin better than literally any of those Mary Berry wannabes.
03:40He also didn't, he never was like, you know, Catherine, you should do sports.
03:44He once thought it would be a good idea for if I were to make and then sell
03:50handbags that were crafted out of upcycled cushions.
03:56And he also would watch Glee without me.
04:01So he's fine.
04:03But, you know, on the flip side, my mom, like, if she were to be portrayed in a movie,
04:07she would be the hardworking, no-nonsense, like, buzzkill, and that's not true.
04:13On my 23rd birthday party, she got more drunk than anyone there,
04:17and I had to put her to bed, because she was, like, getting in the background
04:21of my friend's pictures and putting bunny ears behind their heads.
04:25She also, now that she's retired, went back to school.
04:28My dad did as well, but she's taking a class on sex work and literature.
04:34So she's having a blast.
04:36But I think one of the best things about having a working mom was that there was
04:41just, growing up, never, I never thought my gender was a barrier for anything.
04:45It wasn't weird to me that women would be involved in whatever they wanted to be in.
04:49For instance, I was the only girl on my soccer team, and I would liken that experience
04:55to Air Bud in the movie Air Bud.
04:59He was on the basketball team, and probably for the first few minutes,
05:03it was, like, a little weird, but then you realize that you get all of the attention
05:07when you were the only one.
05:09A more recent experience was I was the only woman in my, like, comedy writing class,
05:16and, like, the male comedy community is pretty notoriously so welcoming and happy
05:21to have a woman who's funnier than them, but actually was really fine,
05:25because it was so tense about the fact that, like, everyone knew, like, one woman,
05:30a bunch of guys, and it was, they were, like, embarrassed for the industry that this was
05:35an advanced class and that there was only one woman in it.
05:37So they had to agree with everything I said.
05:40I could be, like, I am the funniest person here, and they would have to go,
05:43mm-hmm, or else they would be sexist.
05:47Yeah, but, I mean, I think one of the biggest things that I just am happy,
05:52I mean, I really do wish I could have acted out a famous gay masturbation scene
05:56up here in front of you all, but I am happy that I got to be sort of an example
06:00of when 50-50 works out.
06:03If it wasn't for my working mom, I wouldn't be standing here.
06:06I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for my stay-at-home dad.
06:09I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for my stay-at-home co-worker, Rebecca,
06:13who is great.
06:14I'm so sorry she couldn't be here, but I also wouldn't be standing here.
06:17Just a quick shout-out to the women in my group text who, when I, this morning,
06:21I was like, I need to come up with a new thing right now.
06:25They all dropped what they were doing and got on Google Docs and gave me thoughtful
06:29and constructive feedback to make whatever I just presented you somewhat coherent.
06:33So, women are great and so are my dad.
06:36Bye!
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