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00:27To be continued...
00:54To be continued...
01:00...full of French's and it's all because of that wonderful Scarlet Pimpernel.
01:05The Scarlet Pimpernel is not wonderful, Mrs. McGins.
01:07There's no reason whatsoever to admire someone for filling London with a load of garlic-chewing French tops.
01:13Crying ooh-la-la and looking for sympathy all the time just because their fathers had their heads cut off.
01:19I'll have a cup of coffee and some shepherd's pie, please.
01:22We don't serve pies anymore.
01:25My French clientele consider pies uncool.
01:28Now, how do they think that a nation that eats snails and would go to bed with the kitchen sink
01:33if it put on a tutu is in any position to preach cuteness?
01:36So what is on the menu?
01:38Well, today's hot choice is chicken Pimpernel in a Scarlet sauce, Scarlet chicken in a Pimpernel sauce, or huge suspicious
01:46-looking sausages in a Scarlet Pimpernel sauce.
01:50What exactly is Scarlet Pimpernel sauce?
01:52You take a large, ripe frog.
01:55Squeeze!
01:56Yes, yes, all right.
01:59Ah, bonjour, monsieur.
02:00Sod off.
02:07Oh, sir, poor little Mildred the cat.
02:12What's he ever done to you?
02:14It is the way of the world, Baldrick.
02:15The abused always kick downwards.
02:17I'm annoyed, and so I kick the cat.
02:19The cat pounces on the mouse, and finally the mouse bites you on the behind.
02:25And what will I do?
02:27Nothing.
02:28You are last in God's great chain.
02:30And that, of course, there's an earwig around here that you like to victimise.
02:34Baldrick, what's happened to your nose?
02:36Nice, isn't it?
02:37No, it isn't.
02:38It's revolting.
02:40Oh, I'll take it off then.
02:43Baldrick, why are you wearing a false boil?
02:46What do we need to expect next?
02:47A beauty wart?
02:49A cosmetic verruca?
02:53It's a scarlet pimple, sir.
02:55Really?
02:56Yeah.
02:56They're all the rage down our way.
02:58Everyone wants to express their admiration for the great pimple and his brilliant disguises.
03:03They seek him here.
03:05They seek him there.
03:06Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.
03:09Is he in heaven or is he in hell?
03:11Then what's that revolting garlic smell?
03:14Baldrick, what has this fellow done, apart from pop over to France to grab a few French
03:19knobs from the ineffectual clutches of some malnourished, whinging lefties, taking the
03:24opportunity while there, no doubt, to pick up some really good cheap wine and some of
03:28their marvellous open fruit flans?
03:31Does anyone know we hate the French?
03:33We fight wars against them.
03:34Did all those men die in vain on the field of Agincourt?
03:37Or was the man who burnt Joan of Arc simply wasting good matches?
03:43Ah, His Royal Highness the Pinhead of Wales, somewhere.
03:47You know, I feel almost well-disposed towards him this morning.
03:50At a chump though he may be, at least he's not French.
03:54Un toast!
03:56Encore un toast, I say.
03:58Le Pimpernel Scarlet.
04:00Le Pimpernel Scarlet.
04:03Ah, Le Adenoir.
04:05Come over with.
04:10This is a fellow to ask you, chaps.
04:12My butler.
04:13Terribly clever.
04:13Brighter than a brain pie.
04:15Ah, Blackadder.
04:17We're trying to guess who the Scarlet Pimpernel is, so we can send him an enormous post-lauder
04:22to express our admiration.
04:23Any ideas?
04:24Well, I'm sure if you address the envelope to the biggest show-off in London, it would
04:28reach him eventually.
04:29Tish and pish!
04:30Dead zooks!
04:31Melarkey!
04:32How dare you say such a thing!
04:34Demi, sir, if you're not the worst kind of swine!
04:37Dem, that's swine!
04:39I'm sorry, sir.
04:40I was merely pointing out that sneaking aristocrats out from under the noses of French revolutionaries
04:44is about as difficult as putting on a hat.
04:47Sink me, sir!
04:48This is treason!
04:49A Scarlet Pimpernel's a hero!
04:51And the revolution is orchestrated by a ruthless band of highly organised killers.
04:56Dem them!
04:57Dem those organised killers!
04:59George, if I remember rightly, we were just discussing the French embassy ball in honour
05:05of the exiled aristocracy.
05:06We certainly were.
05:08Where I intend to wear the most magnificent pair of trousers ever to issue forth from the
05:12delicate hands of Messrs Snipcock and Turkey, couturier to the very wealthy and the extremely
05:17fat.
05:18If the Pimpernel does finally reveal himself, I don't want to get caught out wearing boring
05:22trousers.
05:22Leave those boring trousers!
05:26Well, what say we bet your cocksure domestic a thousand guineas he can't go to France,
05:32rescue an aristocrat, and present him at the ball?
05:37Ha!
05:37That's damned you white, hasn't it?
05:40That's frightened you, you lily-livered, caramel-keeping-custard-coloured can!
05:45Not so buoyant now, are you?
05:47Eh?
05:47Eh?
05:48Eh?
05:49On the contrary, sir, I'll just go and pack.
05:51Oh.
05:52Perhaps Lord Smedley and Lord Toppo will accompany me.
05:56I'm sure it will be a fairly easy trip, the odd death-defying leap and a modest amount
06:00of dental torture.
06:01Do you want to come?
06:02Oh, no!
06:03Oh, no!
06:04Damn!
06:05Damn!
06:05Uh, any day now, I've got an appointment of my doctor.
06:11I've got a bit of a sniffle coming on.
06:13I can feel it in my bones.
06:15Dim bones, dim bones, dim.
06:17What about next week?
06:19Oh, come on, you touch, get your tarries out.
06:21Come on.
06:22All right.
06:23Damn!
06:24Damn!
06:24I've left him behind.
06:25He has.
06:26And besides, I've just remembered, my father's just died.
06:30I've got to beat his funeral in ten minutes.
06:32Damn, sorry.
06:33Goodbye, your highness.
06:35Um, damn.
06:37I'm the best man.
06:39Damn!
06:40Damn, father.
06:41Damn.
06:42Bye.
06:43See you at the ball.
06:45Yes.
06:46Oh, what a shame they were so busy.
06:48It would have been lovely to have had them with us.
06:51Us?
06:51Yes.
06:52You're coming, sir?
06:53Oh, certainly.
06:55Ah.
06:56And nothing I can say about the mind-bending horrors of the revolution could put you off?
07:01Oh, absolutely not.
07:02Now, come on, Blackadder, let's get packing.
07:04I want to look my best for those fabulous French birds.
07:07Sir, the type of women currently favoured in France are toothless crones who just cackle
07:12insanely.
07:14I'll ignore that.
07:15They're just playing hard to get.
07:18By removing all their teeth, going mad and ageing 40 years.
07:22That's right, the little teasers.
07:24Now, come on.
07:25Um, I think a blend of silks and satins.
07:28I fear not, sir.
07:29If we are to stand any chance of survival in France, we shall have to dress as the smelliest
07:33low-life imaginable.
07:35Oh, yes?
07:35What sort of thing?
07:36Well, sir, let me show you our Paris collection.
07:40Baldrick is wearing a sheep's bladder jacket with matching dungball accessories.
07:47Hair by Crazy Meg of bedlam hair.
07:50Notice how the overpowering aroma of rotting pilchards has been woven cunningly into the
07:56ensemble.
07:57Baldrick, when did you last change your trousers?
07:59I have never changed my trousers.
08:03You see, the ancient Greek, sir, wrote in legend of a terrible container in which all the evils
08:08of the world were trapped.
08:09How prophetic they were.
08:10All they got wrong was the name.
08:12They called it Pandora's Box, when, of course, they meant Baldrick's Trousel.
08:18It certainly can get a bit whiffy, there's no doubt.
08:22We are told that when the box was opened, the whole world turned to darkness because of
08:26Pandora's fatal curiosity.
08:28I charge you now, Baldrick, for the good of all mankind, never allow curiosity to lead you
08:34to open your trousers.
08:36And nothing of interest lies therein.
08:39However, your highness, it is trousers exactly like these that you will have to wear if we
08:44are to pass safely into France.
08:47Yes, well, you know, on second thoughts, I think I might give this whole thing a miss.
08:51You know, my tummy's playing up a bit.
08:53I wish, wish I could come, but just not pass with this tongue.
08:56I understand perfectly, sir.
08:58Also, the chances of me scoring if I look and smell like him are zero.
09:02Well, that's true, sir.
09:03We shall return presently to bid you farewell.
09:05Well, Mr. B, I've been having second thoughts about this trip to France.
09:10Now, why?
09:10Well, as far as I can see, looking and smelling like this, there's not much chance of me scoring
09:15either.
09:18Well, Blackadder, this is it.
09:21Yes, sir.
09:21If I don't make it back, please write to my mother and tell her that I've been alive
09:25all the time.
09:26It's just that I couldn't be bothered to get in touch with the old man.
09:29Well, of course, old man.
09:30It's the very least I can do.
09:32We must leave at once.
09:33The shadow's lentil and we have a long and arduous journey ahead of us.
09:37Farewell, dear master, and dare I say, friend.
09:42Farewell, brave liberator, and dare I say it, butler.
09:51Right, stick the kettle on, Balders.
09:53Well, aren't we going to France?
09:55Of course we're not going to France.
09:56It's incredibly dangerous, though.
09:58Well, how are you going to win your bet?
10:00As always, Baldrick, by the use of the large thing between my ears.
10:05Oh, your nose.
10:08No, Baldrick, my brain.
10:11All we do is lie low here for a week, then go to Mrs. Miggins's, pick a banyard,
10:15old French aristocrat, drag him through a puddle, take him to the ball,
10:18and claim our thousand guineas.
10:20But what if the prince finds us here?
10:22He couldn't find his own fly buttons, let alone the kitchen door.
10:28What a pair of trousers!
10:32I shall be the belle of the embassy bull.
10:35Now, how'd you put them on?
10:37Back out of...
10:39Oh, no, damn, he's gone to France.
10:41Well, I'll do it myself.
10:42Shouldn't be too difficult.
10:49Well, Baldrick, what a very pleasant week.
10:52We must do this more often.
10:54Yes, I shall certainly choose revolutionary France for my holiday again next year.
11:00Well, time to go to work.
11:02Off to Mrs. Miggins's to pick up any old French toff.
11:09What do you think that is?
11:10Well, if I was feeling malicious, I would say it was the prince still trying to put his trousers on
11:14after a week.
11:20Ah, Mrs. Miggins, I'd like a massive plate of pig's trotters, frog's legs and snail's ears, please.
11:27All drenched in your lovely scarlet pimpernel sauce.
11:30I'm not so hostile to the Frenchies now, Mr. B.
11:33Certainly not, Mrs. M.
11:34I'd sooner be hostile to my own servant.
11:38In fact, I came here specifically to meet lovely Frenchies.
11:42Well, vive to that and an eclair for both of us.
11:46Vive indeed.
11:46Now, what I'm looking for, Mrs. M., is a particular kind of Frenchie.
11:50Namely one who is transparently of noble blood, but also short on cash.
11:54Oh, well, I've got just the fellow for you.
11:56Over there by the window.
11:58The Comte de Froufrou.
12:01Oh, he's pretty down on his luck.
12:03He has made that horse's willy last all morning.
12:09We have struck garlic.
12:15Now, you can have some lunch for it.
12:19Le Comte de Froufrou, I believe.
12:23Do you speak English?
12:25A little.
12:27Yes.
12:27When you say a little, what exactly do you mean?
12:29I mean, can we talk, or are we going to spend the rest of the afternoon
12:31asking each other the way to the beach in very loud voices?
12:34Oh, no.
12:35I can order coffee, deal with white girls,
12:39make sexy chit-chat with girls, that type of thing.
12:42Oh, well.
12:43Just don't ask me to take a physiology class or direct a light opera.
12:46No, no, I won't.
12:48Now, listen, Froufrou.
12:49Would you like to earn some money?
12:53No, I wouldn't.
12:55I would like other people to earn it and then give it to me.
12:58Just like in France in the good old days.
13:00Yes, but this is a chance to return to the good old days.
13:04Oh, how I would love that.
13:06I hate this life.
13:08The food is filthy.
13:10This huge sausage is very suspicious.
13:13If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a hostage.
13:16Yes, yes, yes, sir.
13:17Listen, the plan is this.
13:20I have a bet on with someone that I can get a Frenchman out of Paris.
13:23I want you to be that Frenchman.
13:26All you have to do is come to the embassy with me,
13:28say that I rescued you,
13:29and then walk away with 50 guineas
13:32and all the volubons you can stuff in your pockets.
13:34What do you say?
13:36It will be a pleasure.
13:38If there's one thing we aristocrats enjoy,
13:41it's a fabulous party.
13:43All the music, all the laughter.
13:47If only I'd brought my mongoose costume.
13:55Yes, well, obviously, it hasn't really got going yet.
13:59I think that's a bit of an understatement, Frou-Frou.
14:01I've been at autopsies with more party hours.
14:04Don't worry.
14:05In a moment, we will hear the sound of music and happy laughter.
14:15Bonsoir, monsieur.
14:16Bonsoir.
14:17Ah, good evening, my man.
14:18Do you speak English?
14:20Little.
14:21Good.
14:21Well, just take me to the ambassador, then, will you?
14:24Pardon?
14:25I have rescued an aristocrat
14:29from the clutches of the evil revolutionaries.
14:33Please take me to the ambassador.
14:37No, I won't.
14:39I am an evil revolutionary
14:42and have murdered the ambassador
14:46and have turned him into...
14:49pate.
15:17Pate.
15:19a boat the stinky weed.
15:21You are attempted to pervert revolutionary justice.
15:25Do you know what they do to people who do that?
15:29They're given a little present and allowed to go free?
15:33No.
15:33They're smacked and told not to be naughty, but basically let off.
15:36No.
15:37I think I know.
15:38What?
15:39They're put in prison for the night and brutally guillotined in the morning.
15:43I'm going to call him.
15:44I'm bored.
15:45I'm bored.
15:45Your little gnome is correct, monsieur.
15:49Gentlemen, welcome to the last day of your life.
15:54I'll tell you, you filthy weasel.
15:56Weasel, ha!
15:57You want to talk, Aristo Warthog.
16:00Warthog?
16:00Ha!
16:01Ha!
16:01Excuse me, prou-prou.
16:03Look, mate, me old mate, we're both working class.
16:07We both hate these rich bastards.
16:08I mean, come on, come on, me old mucker.
16:10Just let me go.
16:12You've got nothing against me.
16:13On the contrary, I hate you, English,
16:16with your boring trousers and your shiny toilet paper
16:20and your ridiculous preconceptions
16:22that Frenchmen are great lovers.
16:25I'm French, and I'm hung like a baby carrot
16:28to the couple of people.
16:31Farewell, old mucker.
16:33And death to the eyestones!
16:35Death to the eyestones!
16:36Oh, shut up, mouse brain.
16:39Monsieur, why do you waste your worlds on this scum?
16:43Have no fear.
16:44This scarlet pimpernel will save us.
16:46Ha! Some hope.
16:48The pimpernel is the most overrated human being
16:51since Judas Iscariot won the AD 31 Best Disciple competition.
16:56Well, if he should fail us,
16:58here, I have these suicide pills.
17:02One for me,
17:04one for you,
17:05and one for the dwarf.
17:09Don't say thank you, Waldoch.
17:11Thank you, Mr. Frooth.
17:13Nuh-uh.
17:15Ah, the pimpernel!
17:17Hooray!
17:19Ah, the ambassador, hooray.
17:23Hmm, I've got nothing to do.
17:26So I think I will torture...
17:30You!
17:31Aristo-mongrel!
17:33Mongrel?
17:33Ha!
17:34I look forward to it, proletarian skunk!
17:36Skunk, ha!
17:37We'll see about that, aristocratic happy bottomless!
17:40Happy bottomless!
17:41We'll soon see who's here!
17:43Happy bottomless!
17:43What about that?
17:44I'm glad to say
17:46I don't think you'll be needing those pills, Mr. B.
17:50Am I jumping the gun, Broderick,
17:52or are the words,
17:53I have a cunning plan,
17:54marching with ill-deserved confidence
17:56in the direction of this conversation?
17:58We certainly are.
18:00Oh, forgive me if I don't jump up and down with glee,
18:02your record in this department is not exactly 100%.
18:05So what's the plan?
18:07We do nothing.
18:09Yep, it's another world beater.
18:13I haven't finished.
18:15We do nothing until our heads have actually been cut off.
18:21And then we spring into action.
18:25Exactly.
18:25You know how when you cut a chicken's head off,
18:28it runs round and round the farmyard?
18:31Yeah.
18:32Well, we wait until our heads have been cut off,
18:35then we run round and round the farmyard,
18:38out the farm gate and escape.
18:41What do you think?
18:42My opinions are rather difficult to express in words,
18:45so I'd like to put it this way.
18:48Well, it doesn't really matter,
18:50because the scarlet pimpernel will save us anyway.
18:53No, he won't, Baldrick.
18:54Either I think up an idea or tomorrow we die.
18:58Which, Baldrick, I have to tell you I have no intention of doing,
19:00because I want to be young and wild,
19:03and then I want to be middle-aged and rich,
19:05and then I want to be old and annoy people by pretending that I'm deaf.
19:11Just be quiet and let me think.
19:15I can't sleep, Mr. Blackadder.
19:17I said shut up.
19:20I'm so excited to think that the scarlet pimpernel will be here at any moment.
19:25I wish you'd forget this ridiculous fantasy, Baldrick.
19:27Even if he did turn up,
19:29the guards would be woken by the scraping noise
19:31as he tried to squeeze his massive swollen head through the door.
19:35I couldn't sleep when I was little.
19:38You still are a little boy.
19:40Yeah, well, when I was even littler.
19:42See, we used to live in this haunted hovel.
19:45Every night, my family were troubled by a visitation
19:49from this disgusting ghoul.
19:52It was terrible.
19:53First there was this unholy smell.
19:56Then this tiny, clammy, hairy creature
20:00would materialise in the bed between them.
20:03Fortunately, I could never see it myself.
20:06Yes.
20:07Tell me, Baldrick,
20:08when you left home,
20:09did this repulsive entity mysteriously disappear?
20:13That very day.
20:16I think, then, that the mystery is solved.
20:18Now, shut up.
20:20Either I think of an idea,
20:21or tomorrow we meet our maker.
20:23In my case, God.
20:24In your case, God knows.
20:27But I'd be surprised if he's won any design awards.
20:33I've thought of a plan.
20:34Hooray!
20:35Also, I've thought of a way to get you to sleep.
20:37What?
20:39Oh!
20:42Morning, scum.
20:44Did you sleep well?
20:45Like a top, thank you.
20:46But by Jiminy,
20:48you must be feeling thirsty
20:49after your long night's brutality.
20:51Drink?
20:52Uh, no, merci.
20:54Not while I'm on duty.
20:55Ah.
20:56Perhaps later.
20:58For you, monsieur,
21:00there is no later.
21:01Because, gentlemen,
21:02I am proud to introduce
21:03France's most...
21:05vicious woman.
21:07Unexpectedly arrived from Paris this morning.
21:09Would you please welcome
21:10Madame Guillotine herself?
21:19Are these the English pigs?
21:22Yes, that's us.
21:23Leave them with me, monsieur ambassador.
21:26I intend to torture them
21:27in a manner so unbearably gruesome,
21:30even you will not be able to stand it.
21:33I don't think I will have a problem, madame.
21:35No, you will be sick.
21:36What if I stay for the first few minutes
21:39and then I leave if I'm feeling queasy?
21:40No, you will be sick immediately.
21:42What if I'm sick quietly in a bag?
21:45I mean, what is in your mind?
21:46I mean, what if I'm sick?
21:49I mean, what if I'm sick?
21:54What if I'm sick?
21:54So, sco...
21:56prepare to be in pain!
22:00Yes, certainly.
22:01But first, perhaps a toast to your beauty.
22:07Oh, thank you.
22:08OK.
22:10Yes.
22:12So I expect you were expected to be rescued.
22:16Huh?
22:16Huh?
22:16Huh?
22:16Huh?
22:16Some bloody hope.
22:18On the contrary, I'm just sorry I'm so late.
22:21What?
22:23Yes, gentlemen, I have come to take you to freedom.
22:26Hooray!
22:27My God, Smedley!
22:28But I thought you were an absolute fathead.
22:30No, just a damn fine actor.
22:33Thank God I got here before you took any of those awful suicide pills.
22:41Yes, I suppose if someone had taken one and wished that he hadn't,
22:44he'd be able to do something about it.
22:46No.
22:47No, they're very odd things.
22:48You see?
22:49The symptoms are most peculiar.
22:51First of all, the victims become very, very depressed.
22:56Oh, God!
22:58But this whole revolution is so depressing.
23:00I mean, sometimes I wonder why I bother.
23:02I mean, I'm so lonely and nobody loves me.
23:05And after the depression comes death.
23:06No, after the depression comes the loss of temper, you stuck-up bastard!
23:10What are you staring at?
23:14And after the temper comes death?
23:16No!
23:17After the temper comes the, um...
23:21Comes the, um...
23:22Forgetfulness?
23:23Yes, that's it.
23:24Comes the, uh...
23:26Forgetfulness.
23:27Yes, yes.
23:28Right in the middle of a thingy, you completely forget what it was you...
23:33Oh, nice pair of shoes.
23:34And after the forgetfulness, you die?
23:37Oh, no!
23:37I forgot one!
23:38After the forgetfulness comes a moment of exquisite happiness!
23:42Jumping up and down and waving your arms in the air
23:45and knowing that in a minute we're all going to be free!
23:47Free!
23:48Free!
23:49And then death?
23:50No, you jump in a corner first.
23:55Hooray!
23:56It's the scarlet Pimpernel!
23:58Yes, Maldry.
23:59And you killed him!
24:01Yes, Maldry.
24:02I mean, what's the bloody point of being the scarlet Pimpernel
24:05if you're going to fall for the old poison cup routine?
24:09Scarlet Pimpernel my foot.
24:10Scarlet git more like it.
24:12But wait.
24:13Here's our chance to escape.
24:14What, what about Mr. Fru?
24:16Ah, forget Fru-Fru.
24:18I wouldn't pick my nose to save his life.
24:21Ah!
24:22Ah!
24:22Fru-Fru, my old friend and comrade.
24:24What are you doing here?
24:25I escaped.
24:26What happened here?
24:28Oh, uh, nothing.
24:29Nothing.
24:29Uh, I thought for a moment the scarlet Pimpernel had saved you.
24:33Ah, ha, ha, ha.
24:35Ah, chaps.
24:40Good to see you.
24:41Just trying on the new trousers.
24:43I return, sir, as promised.
24:44Plus one top French aristocrat, fresh from the Bastille.
24:48Ah!
24:49Pleased to meet you, monsieur.
24:50Do sit down.
24:51Bonjour, d'ailleurs.
24:53Damn sorry about the revolution and all that cake.
24:55I'm almost awfully bad luck.
24:56So tell me, Blackadder, how the devil did you get him out?
24:59Sir, it is an extraordinary tale of courage and heroism,
25:02which I blush from telling myself.
25:03But seeing as there's no one else...
25:05I could try.
25:07We left England in good weather.
25:09But that was as far as our luck held.
25:11In the middle of Dover Harbour, we were struck by a tidal wave.
25:14And I was forced to swim to Boulogne
25:17with the unconscious Baldrick tucked into my trousers.
25:20But then we were taken to Paris, where I was summarily tried and condemned to death,
25:25and then hung by the larger of my testicles from the walls of the Bastille.
25:29It was then that I decided I'd had enough.
25:33Bravo!
25:34So, I rescued the Count, killed the guards, jumped the moat, ran to Versailles,
25:40where I climbed into Mr. Ropespeer's bedroom,
25:42leaving him a small tray of milk chocolates and an insulting note.
25:45But the rest was easy.
25:48That is an incredible story!
25:50Worthy of the Scarlet Pimpernel himself!
25:53Well, I wouldn't know.
25:55I, on the other hand, would.
25:58Because...
25:59your sister...
26:06I, on the Scarlet Pimpernel...
26:10Uh-oh!
26:12Good Lord!
26:14Chopper!
26:15Yes, Your Highness.
26:16But he gads them by jingo with dumplings, steak and kidneys, and a good solid helping of sprouts!
26:21I can't believe it!
26:23You're the fellow who has single-handedly saved all those damn Frenchies from the chop!
26:27Not...
26:27Not quite single-handedly, sir.
26:30I operated with the help of my friend, Smedley.
26:32But he seems to have disappeared for the moment.
26:35Slightly mysteriously.
26:38Shut up, Baldrick.
26:40So...
26:41So, Blackadder rescued the Scarlet Pimpernel?
26:44No, sir. He did not.
26:46Eh?
26:47Prepare yourself for a story of dishonour and deceit that will make your stomach turn.
26:53Well, I say, this is interesting, isn't it, Blackadder?
26:57Not only that, but I trust it will lead to the imprisonment of a man who is a liar, a
27:03bounder, and a cad.
27:08Well, bravo!
27:09Because we hate liars, bounders, and cads, don't we, Blackadder?
27:12Generally speaking, yes, sir.
27:15But perhaps before Lord Topper starts to talk, he might like a glass of wine.
27:21He's looking a little shaken.
27:23Shaken, but not stirred.
27:27It all began last week.
27:29I was sitting in Mrs. Miggins' coffee shop when...
27:33Oh, God!
27:37All this treachery is so depressing.
27:39I mean, the whole thing makes you so incredibly angry!
27:44I mean, it just makes you want to...
27:47Nice waistcoat, Your Majesty.
27:51I'm sorry, I've completely forgotten what I was talking about.
27:54Erm, a story of dishonour and deceit.
27:56Oh! That's a great story!
27:58That's great!
27:59Oh, that's a wonderful story!
28:02Let me just dump it in this corner first.
28:07Roast mine raisins!
28:09He's popped it!
28:11I say, Blackadder, do you think he really was the scarlet Pimpernel?
28:14Well, judging from the ridiculous ostentatiousness of his death, I would say that he was.
28:19Well, then, that's a damn shame.
28:21Because I wanted to give him this enormous postal order.
28:24Lisa, let me finish.
28:25I would say that he was...nt.
28:28You see, the scarlet Pimpernel would never ever reveal his identity.
28:33That's his great secret.
28:34So what you're actually looking for is someone who has, say, just been to France and rescued an aristocrat.
28:42But when asked, are you the scarlet Pimpernel, he replies, absolutely not, sir.
28:47Wait a minute! Blackadder, you've just been to France?
28:50And you've rescued a French aristocrat?
28:53Oh, Blackadder, are you the scarlet Pimpernel?
28:56No?
28:57Absolutely not, sir.
28:59Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
29:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
29:40ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
29:45ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
29:45ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
29:45ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
29:45ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
29:58You