- 2 months ago
Category
🎮️
GamingTranscript
00:00All right, Joseph, are you ready to get your butt kicked in Mario Tennis?
00:03Dude, you're not gonna beat me.
00:04Oh, I'm gonna beat your butt, so let's play, come on.
00:06Okay, then, come on.
00:07Just hurry up and serve.
00:08I'm getting ready.
00:09God, be patient.
00:10I'm getting dizzy over here.
00:11I bet you are.
00:14Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
00:15It's not fair, I was in my shell, I wasn't ready.
00:17Oh, you weren't in your shell.
00:18Dude, look, look, there's the replay.
00:20Look, see?
00:21I was in my shell.
00:22You saw that, right?
00:23All I see is myself flexing.
00:24All I see is flexing.
00:25Dude, I'm mad now.
00:26I'm flexing.
00:27You know what?
00:31There's no way you're gonna keep her this time.
00:32I'm gonna win.
00:33No way, dude.
00:34Oh, you came to play tennis, huh?
00:35Oh, yeah, I came to play tennis.
00:36Oh, I came to play tennis.
00:37You better not make a mistake.
00:38Oh, you're gonna be the one that makes a mistake.
00:40Oh, yeah, right.
00:40No, you're gonna slip up.
00:42Look, you need to keep up.
00:43I'm keeping up.
00:44You're the one that's poor.
00:44Dude, what me being poor has to do with anything?
00:47Because you are poor.
00:48You know what?
00:49You know what I'm gonna do?
00:50What are you gonna do then, loser?
00:51I'm gonna use my special.
00:53Dude, dude, what the hell is that?
00:55It's my big, huge robotic arm.
00:57And I'm gonna hit you in the butt.
00:59The one we aiming at your butt.
01:00And there.
01:01No, no, no.
01:02Dude, you missed it.
01:03Well, I still got the point, so it doesn't matter.
01:05I got the point.
01:06What?
01:06They gave you the point anyway.
01:07I'm flexing.
01:08I'm still flexing.
01:09You know what?
01:09I'm gonna get a point this time.
01:10Oh, yeah, okay.
01:11Yeah, yeah.
01:11Watch me use my special.
01:13You hit the net.
01:14Huh?
01:14What?
01:15You hit the net, Joseph.
01:16No, no way.
01:16I didn't hit the net, dude.
01:17Oh, let's watch the replay.
01:18I bet you did hit the net.
01:19No, I didn't, dude.
01:20Look right.
01:21I did my special.
01:22Yeah, and you hit the net.
01:23And I'm flexing.
01:24No, I'm a shooter trainer.
01:25They're cheating now.
01:27Yeah, I'm gonna flex.
01:27I'm okay with the flex.
01:29You know what?
01:29I'm gonna use the special again.
01:30Oh, okay.
01:31Yeah, you really are?
01:32Yeah, I'm gonna build it up.
01:32Look, you see?
01:33I'm dancing.
01:34You're gonna get one point.
01:35You're gonna get, like, one point.
01:36Yeah, right, dude.
01:39Dude, I got a KO.
01:40Oh, a KO?
01:41What's that mean?
01:41Dude, I broke your record.
01:43You didn't see your bracket, dude?
01:44Wait, was this hard lost?
01:45Yeah, you're right.
01:45You broke, dude.
01:46No, I can't lose.
01:48There's a replay.
01:49I got my boogie on.
01:50And you know what?
01:51I did a flip in the air.
01:52I was like, ooh, it's stylish.
01:53And then, boom!
01:55Boogie Racky, your racket just exploded, dude.
01:57My racket can break?
01:58Yeah, dude.
01:59That's not fair.
02:00Look, Joseph, I scored seven points.
02:02But I won because I broke your racket.
02:03You won.
02:04I scored more points than you.
02:05Look, I scored more points.
02:06But I won, Junior.
02:07You're a loser.
02:08Well, you just got lucky.
02:09I got lucky?
02:1035 times?
02:11Yeah, you got lucky 35 times.
02:13Whatever, dude.
02:14Hold on.
02:15There's someone at the door.
02:15But you got lucky and you're cheating.
02:17Whatever.
02:17It's 35 times.
02:19Uh, hello?
02:19Hey, Junior.
02:20What's up?
02:20Just playing games with Joseph.
02:21You want to come in?
02:22Yeah, sure.
02:23Hey, Joseph.
02:24Cody was at the door.
02:24Oh, did you tell him how I beat your butt in Mario Tennis?
02:27Okay, you didn't beat my butt, Joseph.
02:28You didn't score a single point.
02:29You got lucky.
02:30Oh, I got lucky 35 times?
02:32Shut up, Joseph.
02:33Mario Tennis?
02:34Oh, yeah, Cody.
02:35They made a new Mario Tennis game.
02:36Oh, cool.
02:36Can I play?
02:39Uh...
02:40Uh...
02:40Dude, don't tell him.
02:42Uh...
02:42What's wrong, Junior?
02:43Can I play or not?
02:44Well, you see, you're not...
02:47What?
02:48Junior, don't tell me I'm not in the game.
02:50Well, you see, they...
02:51Junior, if I'm not in the game, I'm gonna cut off both of your faces and wear them and
02:55they're gonna put me in the next game as both of you.
02:57Uh, you know what, dude?
02:58I think it's time for me to leave.
03:00Oh, Junior, don't leave.
03:01I do...
03:01Junior, am I in the game or not?
03:03Well...
03:04Okay, okay, Cody.
03:05Don't get upset.
03:06Well, I'm already upset, Junior.
03:07Am I in the game or not?
03:08Well, no, you're not in the game.
03:10God fucking damn it, Junior!
03:11Why am I not in the game?
03:12I don't understand why they keep doing this to me!
03:14Look, look, look, look, calm down.
03:15Look, look, look, look.
03:16There's no baby characters.
03:17There's no duplicated characters.
03:19It's just original characters, okay?
03:20I don't care, Junior.
03:21I'm not in the game.
03:22That's the problem.
03:23Well, look, they release new characters every month, so possibly you could come out in the
03:27future.
03:27Okay, show me who's in the game, Junior.
03:29I need to see this.
03:29You don't want to see who's in the game.
03:30I want to see it, Junior.
03:31Show me.
03:32Okay.
03:34See, look, Mario, Luigi, just the main characters.
03:37Junior, is that your dog?
03:40Yeah.
03:40They put your dog in the game, but not me?
03:42Okay, everybody loves Chain Chomp.
03:44He doesn't even have arms, Junior.
03:45He's holding the racket with his mouth.
03:47I have arms.
03:48Put me in the game.
03:49Okay, look, Cody, look.
03:50Everybody knows who Chain Chomp is, and he's been in a million games.
03:52So have I, Junior.
03:54I've been here for years.
03:55Wait, who the fuck is that?
03:56You don't want to know who that is.
03:58Oh, I want to know who that is, Junior.
03:59Show me.
04:01Spike.
04:01Spike?
04:02Who the fuck is Spike?
04:03I've never heard of Spike.
04:04Have you heard of Spike?
04:05No.
04:06Nobody's heard of Spike.
04:07Was there such a demand that they put Spike in the fucking game?
04:10That's a conversation no one's ever had.
04:12Hey, bro, who's your favorite Mario character?
04:15Oh, you know it's Spike.
04:16Oh, mine too.
04:18Everybody loves Spike.
04:19Wanna make out?
04:20Sure.
04:21Mmm.
04:22Mmm.
04:22I sure wish you were Spike.
04:24Cause apparently, he's a fan-fucking favorite.
04:27Well, Cody, just calm down.
04:28Well, don't tell me to calm down, Junior.
04:30You're in the game.
04:31I'm not.
04:31Cause I get beat out by fucking Spike.
04:34He should be the next face of Nintendo.
04:36Super Spike Brothers.
04:37Super Smash Spike.
04:38Spike Tennis.
04:40Well, Cody, look, Spike, you know, he's kinda cool, I guess.
04:43Kinda cool, Junior.
04:43What does he do?
04:44I do magic and I can fly.
04:46What the fuck does he do?
04:47Nothing?
04:48Nothing.
04:48That's exactly right, Junior.
04:50He's not special at all.
04:51He's just some make-a-wish kid's character that they put in the game.
04:54Hey, little Billy, congratulations.
04:56I know you're gonna die in a week, but that's okay.
04:58Because you know that crayon drawing you did?
05:00They put it in Mario Tennis and they named it fucking Spike!
05:03Well, go on a little.
05:04Let's get your mind off of it.
05:05Look, how about, uh, uh, Boom Boom?
05:07Boom Boom.
05:08What the fuck is a Boom Boom?
05:12Junior, who is Boom Boom?
05:14I've never seen Boom Boom.
05:15I've never seen him either, but, I mean, look, he looks cool, though.
05:18Yeah, he looks cool.
05:19Junior, if you showed me that character and asked me what his name was,
05:22never in a million years would I have guessed fucking Boom Boom.
05:25Well, I mean, yeah.
05:26What kind of lazy shit is that?
05:28Oh, okay, well, then who would you have rather replaced Boom Boom?
05:31I don't know, like, Bomb Bomb or maybe Goomba?
05:33Well, they don't have arms.
05:34Neither does your dog, but that doesn't seem to be a fucking problem.
05:37Okay, well, how about, um, Luma?
05:39Luma?
05:40What?
05:41Rosalina's already in the game.
05:42Why do you need Luma?
05:43Well, I mean, I guess that makes kind of sense.
05:46Luma's just her sidekick.
05:47What's the fucking point?
05:48They could have put me there.
05:49Oh, okay, uh, what about, uh, uh, Pauline?
05:53Nice rack, I guess.
05:55And she was in the first Mario game, so I guess that makes sense.
05:58Yeah, yeah, so look, that has to calm you down, right?
06:00I'm still pissed off about Spike.
06:02Go back to Spike.
06:03I want to yell more.
06:03Oh, no, no, no, no.
06:04How about we just watch some TV and not play any video games, okay?
06:07Let's just watch some TV.
06:08Hey there!
06:09Do you like tennis?
06:10Am I naked?
06:11Is this a poorly green-screened background?
06:13If you answered yes to all of those questions, you should come play in the Are You Good At Tennis
06:18Tournament.
06:19The winner will be a character in the new Mario Tennis game for the Nintendo Switch.
06:23So swing on down tomorrow and show us what you got!
06:27Whoa, Cody, look!
06:28All you have to do is win that tennis tournament and you'll be in Mario Tennis!
06:30Yeah!
06:31All I have to do is win a tennis tournament.
06:33Do you think you can do that?
06:34Yeah!
06:35Yeah, I can definitely do that.
06:36I'm a pro at tennis.
06:38What, really?
06:38Yeah, yeah, I'm an ace.
06:40An ace.
06:41I'm an ace at tennis.
06:42I love tennis.
06:43When was the last time you played?
06:44All the time.
06:46All the time.
06:46I'm always playing tennis.
06:47I mean, you know what I did before I came here?
06:49What?
06:49I played tennis.
06:50What, really?
06:51Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:55I played you all the time.
06:57It's my middle name.
06:58You know what my middle name is?
06:59What?
06:59Dennis.
07:00Rhymes with tennis.
07:02My name is Cody Dennis Nutkiss.
07:05Really?
07:06Yeah, I'm great at tennis.
07:07Okay, so then I'll see you at the tennis tournament tomorrow.
07:09Yeah!
07:10Yeah, I will see you at the tennis field with my bat.
07:14You mean court and racket?
07:15Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:17See, that's a little tennis joke for you.
07:19That us tennis players like to tell.
07:23So I will catch you on the flip.
07:25It's, uh, it's another tennis term for you.
07:30All right, uh, bye.
07:32No, Ken.
07:34I suck at tennis.
07:36I've never played a game of tennis in my life.
07:39I'm gonna lose that tournament tomorrow.
07:42Cody, why you in here crying like a woman?
07:43Cause I'm bad at tennis.
07:45Tennis?
07:46Why you trying to play a gay sport like that?
07:47Cause I wanna win a tennis tournament.
07:50But I'm never gonna win.
07:52Cody, just listen to me, okay?
07:53I got a little story to tell you.
07:55When I was a little kid, I thought I would never go to jail.
07:58And by the time I turned 18, I was sentenced to three years in jail.
08:02Oh, I get it.
08:04So what you're saying is, if I don't think I can do something, I'll end up doing it.
08:08Mm-hmm.
08:08Okay, thanks, Dad.
08:10Now take your ass to sleep before I beat you.
08:12Okay, okay, yes, sir.
08:13Yeah, that's what I thought.
08:15Hello and welcome to the first annual Are You Good at Tennis tournament.
08:19Whoever wins this tournament is gonna win this trophy, and they will be a playable character
08:23in the new Mario Tennis game for the Nintendo Switch.
08:27Now let's get to our first match.
08:28Okay, Cody, you can do this.
08:29You can win.
08:30You just gotta believe.
08:31Cody, are you gonna win this tournament?
08:32Junior, I'm a god at tennis.
08:33Anything that involves me and balls, I'm great at.
08:36I'm great at hitting balls.
08:37I'm great at licking balls.
08:38I'm great at sucking balls.
08:39I mean, only one of those has anything to do with tennis, but I'm great.
08:42Why is there a W on your racket?
08:44It stands for wieners.
08:45Oh.
08:46Well, Cody, the other guy looks like he's really good at tennis.
08:48Hurry up and fucking serve!
08:50Junior, just get off the court so I can serve, okay?
08:52Alright.
08:52Cody, can you please serve and start the match?
08:55Alright, Cody, come on.
08:56You can do this.
09:00Hey, Buckhead!
09:01There's a net here!
09:02I know!
09:03Fault!
09:04He hit the net.
09:05Alright, that's 15 love.
09:06Goodman has the lead.
09:07Are you ready, loser?
09:08Yeah.
09:09Bitch!
09:12Ooh, the kid took one right in the gob.
09:15Alright, that's 30 love.
09:17Goodman's still in the lead.
09:19Cody, are you okay?
09:20Yeah, I'm fine, Junior.
09:21I've taken balls to the face that were way bigger than that.
09:23Well, they broke your glasses.
09:25It's fine.
09:25It's fine, Junior.
09:26It doesn't matter.
09:26I don't need them.
09:27Well, I'll tell him you need a forfeit.
09:28No, no, Junior.
09:29I can still win this.
09:32Alright, Cody, come on.
09:33Hit it over the net this time.
09:36Bitch!
09:38Oh, right in the nads.
09:40Oh, yeah.
09:41You ain't having kids when you grow up.
09:43Alright, that's 40 love.
09:46Cody, are you okay?
09:47I want to go home.
09:48They hit you in the nuts, Cody.
09:49Yeah, I kind of felt good though.
09:52Wow, Cody.
09:52I can't believe you had to forfeit.
09:54I got hit in the nuts, Junior.
09:55I'm pretty sure one of them went up inside me.
09:57I can't even find it anymore.
09:58Well, they also broke your glasses.
09:59Yeah, it's a good thing I have a spare pair.
10:01Well, now you'll never be in Mario Tennis, Cody.
10:03You know what, Junior?
10:04I don't even care anymore.
10:05They keep blackballing me and I'm over it.
10:07I don't even care about the stupid game.
10:09Are you just saying that?
10:10No, I'm not just saying that, Junior.
10:11I'm being 100% serious.
10:12You know what?
10:13I don't even want to be in the stupid game anymore.
10:15It doesn't matter.
10:16They don't even deserve me in the game.
10:17I'm too good.
10:18If they came up to me and said,
10:19Hey, Cody, you want to be in the game?
10:20I'd say no.
10:21You better not put me in the game.
10:23If you told me right now that I was in the game,
10:25I'd say I don't even give a shit.
10:26Guys, guys, guys!
10:27Look!
10:28They put Cody in the game!
10:30Yeah!
10:31Oh, my God!
10:32This is awesome, you guys!
10:33It's about damn time!
10:35Thank you so much, Nintendo!
10:36I never wanted anything more in my entire life!
10:39Well, Cody, you just said you didn't care about being in the game.
10:40Well, fuck what I said, Junior.
10:42I'm in the game now.
10:43That's all that matters.
10:44Wait, so you want to verse us now?
10:45Oh, yeah.
10:45I'll kick all y'all's asses.
10:47I'm the best character in the game.
10:48Alright, so you versus me and Joseph.
10:49Yeah.
10:50No, that's not fair.
10:51How's that not fair?
10:52Because it's two against one.
10:53I need a partner.
10:54You don't need a partner.
10:55I need a partner, Junior.
10:57There's your partner.
10:58No, I am not using your dog as my partner.
11:00Why not?
11:01He's in the game and he was in the game before you,
11:03so obviously he's better than you.
11:04He's a dog, Junior!
11:06Are you scared, Cody?
11:07Yeah, are you scared?
11:08No.
11:09Okay, fine.
11:10I'll use your dog as my partner.
11:11Alright, yeah, so 2v2.
11:13Alright, let me get all the stuff ready.
11:14Yeah, dude.
11:15Alright, guys, you ready to play the game?
11:16Yeah, dude.
11:17I guess.
11:20See?
11:20Look at me.
11:21I got a badass intro on everything.
11:23Oh, yeah.
11:24The smoke clears and it's me.
11:26This is so awesome.
11:28Alright, Cody, calm down.
11:29We all have our own intros.
11:29I told you guys I had magic powers.
11:31Oh, yeah.
11:32Oh, yeah.
11:33Everybody in the stands all wants me.
11:35Joseph, can you hurry up and serve it to shut him up?
11:36Oh, yeah, dude.
11:37Watch this.
11:38I got this.
11:40I got this.
11:41We got it already!
11:42Oh, that was easy!
11:43Guys, this isn't fair.
11:44My partner's a dog.
11:45He's not gonna do anything.
11:46Alright, Cody, well, you're the one who chose this.
11:48Stop complaining.
11:50Alright, Joseph, stop again.
11:51Watch this, bro.
11:54Yeah!
11:55We scored again!
11:57Calm on, guys.
11:58This isn't fair.
11:58He's never gonna do anything because he's a dog.
12:00Cody, just shut up.
12:01You're so good, you should be able to carry the team, okay?
12:03Hit the ball.
12:04I fall.
12:05Alright, Joseph, stop again.
12:06Watch this one, bro.
12:08Shut up!
12:10Guys, this is bullshit.
12:11I can't teach a dog to play tennis.
12:13Oh, well, you better start to teach him.
12:15Teach him to play like you.
12:16You'd still suck.
12:17Guys, this isn't fair.
12:19Alright, Joseph, serve him.
12:19Matt, come on, let's do it.
12:23Yeah!
12:24Yeah!
12:25In your face!
12:26I didn't see that one coming.
12:27Guys, this is never gonna work.
12:28He's never gonna play the game.
12:29Because you suck.
12:31No, because he's a dog.
12:32Alright, wait, wait.
12:33Change servers, change servers.
12:34Oh, thank God.
12:35What?
12:36Oh, my God.
12:37Are you kidding me?
12:38Well, it's Chompy served.
12:39Chompy's gonna serve?
12:41Chompy!
12:42Chompy served the ball.
12:44Chompy!
12:45Chompy served!
12:46Chompy served!
12:46Chompy served!
12:46He's not even touching the controller!
12:47Guys, this is bullshit!
12:48Chompy!
12:49What happens if he doesn't serve?
12:50I don't know, do we win?
12:51Chompy, just chew the controller.
12:52I don't know.
12:53Just try biting the button, Chompy.
12:54You know what?
12:55I don't care.
12:56I'm gonna spin.
12:56I'm gonna spin too!
12:57I'm gonna spin too!
12:58Bro, Chompy, bro!
12:59I'm getting nauseous.
13:00I'm getting so pissed.
13:01I might throw up, bro!
13:02If you serve right now, we're gonna win, Chompy!
13:05They're not even playing!
13:06Well, why should Chompy serve?
13:07Chompy, do something!
13:08Wait, wait, wait, what?
13:10You lost, Tony!
13:11Are you kidding me?
13:13You didn't serve within 30 seconds!
13:14It's not my fault, Junior!
13:15My partner's a dog!
13:17He can't serve!
13:18Are you kidding me saying the same excuse over and over again?
13:20My partner's a dog!
13:20My partner's a dog!
13:21Because he is a dog!
13:22There's nothing I can do about that!
13:24What?
13:25What?
13:25We unlocked a new character.
13:26What?
13:27Mr. Goodman.
13:27Oh, he won the tennis tournament, so he's in the game!
13:30Oh.
13:30I wanna verse him!
13:31Okay, yeah, verse him, Cody!
13:32Okay.
13:33Hurry up and fucking serve!