00:00Today is my birthday and it has been the hardest year of my life and I wanted to share something
00:07that I learned with y'all.
00:10When I was younger, I used to define myself as an actor, right, which was never really all that fulfilling.
00:19And then I became a husband and that was much better.
00:20And then I became a father and that was the ultimate.
00:23I could define myself then as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we're
00:34so lucky to live on.
00:35And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition to the question, who am I? What am
00:41I?
00:43And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye.
00:50I had to come nose to nose with death.
00:54And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me.
00:58I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband that was helpful to my wife.
01:04I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be
01:08there for them.
01:09I could not be a provider because I wasn't working.
01:12I couldn't even be a steward of the land because at times I was too weak to prune all the
01:18trees during the window that you're supposed to prune them.
01:22And so I was faced with the question, if I am just a too skinny, weak guy alone in an
01:31apartment with cancer, what am I?
01:39And I meditated and the answer came through, I am worthy of God's love.
01:51And if I am worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own?
01:57And the same is true for you.
