00:00Ito, balik ulit dun sa art of breaking up. You've mentioned earlier na, wag maging tanga sa pag-ibig.
00:08Nakarelate ba kayo dun?
00:09Marami, for sure.
00:10But you know why?
00:13Sabi ko nga kanina, based on my personal experience,
00:19there were times before na pagkalit si break na kayo,
00:27or parang on the verge of breaking up.
00:33It doesn't really get easy.
00:36The more iniiwasan mo yung tao,
00:39the more parang ka tinipiss na,
00:45kaya hirap na hirap ka tuloy mag-move on.
00:48So I guess that's what I wanted to say then kanina na,
00:52dahil masyado makinta.
00:54Kasi nasabihan na ako ng ganun na,
00:56Nikki, alam mo, hindi ka mabaitang.
01:00Sabi ko, ngayon iniisip ko,
01:02when I look back,
01:05yung, oo nga ano.
01:06And now, kaya ko nasa-share yun sa mga nakakabata sa akin.
01:12Like, kung ano lang naman yung itinulong sa akin
01:15ng mga nakakatanda akong kaibigan ko.
01:18Para lang,
01:19hindi na ako masyado masaktan.
01:21So they would always tell me na,
01:23you know,
01:24when you're about to break up,
01:26or during a break up,
01:29it really gets harder.
01:31Because,
01:33temptation is always there to,
01:37parang nililito ka ng sitwasyon niya.
01:40Diba?
01:40Yung,
01:41parang binibigyan kanya ng thoughts na,
01:44tama pa to.
01:46May confusion eh,
01:47diba yung,
01:47tama pa to.
01:49or,
01:50baka mamaya,
01:54yung,
01:55inaano kanya para ma-miss mo yung tao.
01:57Pero,
01:58gusto mo na talaga mag-move mo.
01:59So,
02:00talaga payo ko.
02:02Huwag tayo maging masyadong tangan.
02:04Siguro,
02:05kung baligtad lang ng konti,
02:06hindi kaya,
02:07at that point,
02:08you were thinking na,
02:09you want to,
02:11make the,
02:12hindi naman make the most of it,
02:13but,
02:13yung parang,
02:14yung isagad na kasi,
02:15syempre,
02:16iba yung marriage yun sa boyfriend group.
02:18Yes,
02:19correct,
02:20correct.
02:22Well,
02:24everybody knows naman that I came from a failed marriage.
02:28I guess,
02:29the difference noon,
02:31sa boyfriend lang,
02:33at saka sa marriage,
02:34we have a child.
02:36So,
02:37I guess,
02:38nagkaroon ako ng mas malinaw na,
02:42na,
02:43decision.
02:44Because,
02:45I didn't want to,
02:48love my daughter,
02:49noon na,
02:51half-hearted,
02:52or,
02:52hindi ako buo.
02:54Kasi,
02:56paano ko mamahalin yung anak ko ng buo,
02:58kung basag ako,
02:59di ba?
02:59Or,
03:00kung,
03:00kung,
03:03wala ako sa sarili ko.
03:04So,
03:05you can't give from an empty cup.
03:07So,
03:07yung noon,
03:08when I was going through,
03:10uh,
03:11my divorce,
03:12and my failed marriage,
03:14I turned my back,
03:15and I never looked back.
03:17Kasi,
03:19tinapangan ko yung loob ko,
03:20na kahit alam kong,
03:21hindi magiging madali.
03:22But,
03:23uh,
03:23I guess,
03:25it's also nice,
03:27to,
03:28have an inspiration,
03:30to have,
03:30that goal,
03:32why,
03:33why,
03:34you have to go through,
03:36this,
03:36ano,
03:36separation.
03:37Clear yun,
03:38no,
03:38yung boundaries,
03:39and yung self-respect.
03:41Pero,
03:41ma-curious lang ako,
03:42ano yung sukdulan,
03:44yung pagiging tanga?
03:45Ano ba yung parang,
03:46meron yung,
03:47nag-effort ka,
03:48you tried,
03:48but iba na yung,
03:49naging tanga ka na,
03:51parang hindi na tama.
03:53Siguro,
03:55ako kasi,
03:55ang ano ko lang,
03:56ang lagi kong sinasabi,
03:59sa partner ko,
04:01yung,
04:03pag wala na yung respect,
04:05uh,
04:05the love will always be there,
04:07I guess,
04:08it,
04:08there's all kinds of love naman,
04:10um,
04:11pero pagka,
04:14yung nawala na yung respeto,
04:16o,
04:17o,
04:18sa kanya,
04:19and vice versa,
04:20or,
04:21there's no respect left in the relationship,
04:24I think,
04:25for me,
04:26that's really the,
04:27the end of it all.
04:29um,
04:30kasi pag wala ka ng respeto,
04:31wala ka ng takot,
04:33di ba,
04:33sa,
04:34sa,
04:34pwede mong gawin,
04:36um,
04:38kaya mo na lang siguro,
04:39i-take for granted,
04:41yung relationship.
04:43So,
04:43yeah.
04:44And now,
04:46after having made that decision,
04:48with your daughter,
04:49would you say na,
04:50yung goal na yun,
04:52to,
04:53um,
04:53make sure na buo ka,
04:55when it comes to raising her,
04:57na,
04:57ano yung naging,
04:58ano naman sa kanya?
04:59Parang nakita mo na,
05:00okay,
05:01tama tong decision niya,
05:03kahit mahirap.
05:04Um,
05:05alam mo,
05:05at one point,
05:06tinanong ako ng anak ko rin eh,
05:08na,
05:08bakit kami naghiwalay,
05:10yung sa first marriage.
05:12um,
05:13I really had to explain that to her.
05:16But,
05:17um,
05:18now,
05:18now that she's,
05:20old enough to understand,
05:22she knows,
05:23she knows,
05:24um,
05:24and she supports,
05:26uh,
05:26my decision.
05:28Eh,
05:29tingnan mo naman,
05:29pag nag-total surrender ka,
05:31and,
05:31um,
05:32again,
05:33you allowed yourself to go through the process,
05:35um,
05:36of falling,
05:38and,
05:38um,
05:38failing,
05:39and getting hurt,
05:41the healing will come.
05:43Siguro,
05:45pinapatibay ka lang niya,
05:46bilang isang tao.
05:47So now,
05:49um,
05:50when I surrendered everything,
05:52and,
05:54I told myself,
05:55um,
05:55na,
05:56I'm doing this not only for me,
05:58but for my daughter.
05:59I was,
06:01blessed,
06:01um,
06:02with another,
06:04with another relationship,
06:06and a good one at that.
06:08Um,
06:09I'm happily married for,
06:11this August,
06:12uh,
06:12my husband and I worked 38 years,
06:16sa marriage namin.
06:17I know,
06:18there's a long,
06:19long way to go,
06:20but,
06:21we'd forward each other,
06:22you know,
06:23inspiration lang,
06:24as husband and wife,
06:25and,
06:25there's one video,
06:27that stuck with me,
06:28na,
06:29sinasabi nga ng husband,
06:30ko,
06:32do,
06:32ay,
06:32doon sa,
06:33pinarward niya video,
06:34na,
06:38may nag-share na husband din,
06:40na,
06:41uh,
06:41what's the secret daw to,
06:43a long and happy marriage?
06:45Um,
06:46there's no secret,
06:47it's just really,
06:49choosing each other,
06:51um,
06:52every single time,
06:54kasi,
06:56magbabago at magbabago,
06:57ang isang tao,
06:58and you're,
06:59two individuals,
07:01put together,
07:02nagpakasal,
07:03di ba?
07:04So,
07:05marriage talaga,
07:06or any relationship,
07:08is,
07:09is a work in progress,
07:11every single day,
07:13di ba?
07:14You,
07:14you solve something today,
07:16tomorrow,
07:16may bago na namang,
07:18pagdadaanan,
07:19and,
07:20um,
07:21when the time comes,
07:23na,
07:24I always tell him this also,
07:27sana,
07:28pag dumating yung araw,
07:30na magkaroon tayo ng mga,
07:31hindi pa kakaunawaan,
07:33kasi,
07:33di ba,
07:34may mga,
07:34talagang,
07:35ang marriage,
07:36umabot yan sa point na yung,
07:38you just,
07:39get used to it,
07:40to what happens,
07:41between the two of you,
07:43and I told him that,
07:44sana,
07:44pag dumating yung araw na yun,
07:46yung,
07:48piliin pa rin natin,
07:49na,
07:51ayusin,
07:51at mahalin ng isa't isa,
07:53um,
07:54hindi yung,
07:54napipilitan ka na lang,
07:56kasi,
07:56wala ka ng choice,
07:57di ba?
07:58And,
07:59that's what marriage is about,
08:00yung,
08:01it's really,
08:02choosing each other,
08:04wag lang yung,
08:06intentional yung pananakit,
08:08di ba?
08:09In any form,
08:10pero,
08:11ako,
08:12ang,
08:13ang,
08:14challenges,
08:15ang struggles sa,
08:16isang relationship,
08:17that's what makes you,
08:19ano talaga,
08:19matipilitan.
08:22yung,
08:22mahalaga ba yung,
08:23pagpili yung character?
08:25Or,
08:25in your case,
08:26how did you know na,
08:27okay,
08:28this guy,
08:29parang,
08:30maayos siya?
08:30May,
08:31pwede ba yun?
08:32Possibly ba yun na?
08:34nung nagsisimula kami,
08:36I knew,
08:38I was with the right person,
08:40because,
08:41not a single person,
08:43like,
08:44siya,
08:44hindi mo pinapakilala,
08:45agad sa pamilya mo,
08:47di ba?
08:47Kaibigan mo na yan,
08:48mga kaibigan ko,
08:50na pinakilala ko,
08:52yun,
08:52ito yung mga long time friends ko,
08:54talaga na,
08:55sasabihin sa akin,
08:57kahit masaktan ako,
08:59and I knew,
09:00right from the get-go,
09:02that I was with the right man,
09:03because,
09:05narinig ko sa kanila na,
09:09happy kami,
09:10happy kami para sa'yo,
09:12tapos,
09:13yun na,
09:14yung sa family ko,
09:15tapos yun sa family niya,
09:17it,
09:18um,
09:19at,
09:20ang payo ng mami ko kasi,
09:22anak,
09:23pagka,
09:24nagkaroon ka ulit ng relationship,
09:26noon,
09:27noon pa to,
09:28pag nagkaroon ka ulit ng relationship,
09:31kailangan,
09:31hindi lang ikaw yung masaya,
09:33pati yung mga nasa paligid mong masaya,
09:35so,
09:35when I met Louise,
09:37I knew right there and then,
09:39ay,
09:40okay,
09:40ito na yung sinasabi pala ng mami ko na,
09:42everything else that's beautiful and right will follow,
09:46kasi,
09:47tama yung tao.
09:48And ito din,
09:50did you say,
09:50kasi you said na,
09:52you really made sure na healed from love.
09:54Yes,
09:55tama,
09:56tama na yung,
09:58yung,
09:59ano,
09:59ng heart ko eh,
10:01tama na yung,
10:02place niya,
10:03hindi na ako,
10:05hindi na ako,
10:08wasa,
10:10hindi na ako confused,
10:12and,
10:12I knew na,
10:14hindi siya rebound,
10:16kasi,
10:16tapos na ako eh,
10:18okay na.
10:20thank you so much.
