- 1 week ago
Last of Series 1.Trevor Bannister's character wants to take a break from his Womanizing ways.As starts up with another team collecting bins.Julie Goodyear turns up,continuing the Coronation Street connection.
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00:01The dustbin men, B619 stroke 6, part 1, 15 seconds.
00:38The dustbin men, B619 stroke 6, part 1, 15 seconds.
01:00The dustbin men, B619 stroke 6, part 1, 15 seconds.
01:29There. Right, bye-bye, then.
01:35Morning.
01:37Oh, morning, Ipperson. Everything all right, then?
01:39Yes. Chocolate chops.
01:42Made your friends, is it?
01:43Caught in in corporation hours.
01:46Ipperson, the next time you're scavenging on the tip,
01:48I suggest you find yourself a hearing aid, or perhaps even two.
01:51Look, the men of a refuse depot are like a unit of highly trained commandos.
01:55Lady friends don't exist for us.
01:57No.
02:01Do the lads know you're called chuckle chops?
02:16That all depends, madam.
02:18If you think it's Aristotle or bloody Nassish, no.
02:21If you think it's Malcolm Buggish, no.
02:23Try Spiro Acne.
02:25You're not supposed to be looking.
02:26Oh, that's an awe-inspiring sight at 7 o'clock in the morning.
02:31Did that bikini fit when you first bought it?
02:33You're not supposed to be looking.
02:34Oh, that's all right.
02:35We're like doctors.
02:36Only in my entire medical career,
02:38I've never seen I love Lonnie Donovan tattooed on anyone's chest before.
02:42Every breathing I'm in for his kippers.
02:43He has a pair every Monday for breakfast.
02:46Is that all he gets?
02:47A pair of kippers?
02:48On the table, yes.
02:50Under it, mind your own rotten business.
02:54I think her husband referees Sunday morning football.
02:59For the tenth time, all right!
03:01I've bust in your blouse up.
03:03Shoulders like Brian Pig in the ball.
03:06Hey, the woman here says,
03:07would we tell every breathing she's ready to...
03:09We'll tell him.
03:10We'll bloody tell him.
03:13Yes, madam, I will.
03:15You may rest content in the knowledge.
03:18She's an egg.
03:19Eric, my flower.
03:20The lady in there says,
03:21would we kindly tell every breathing the test?
03:23Eric, my flower.
03:24She's an egg.
03:24If you say another word,
03:26I'll hold you upside down in that dustbin
03:28and swivel your head in the tea leaves.
03:30Oh.
03:30You may rest content in the knowledge.
03:39Heavy, rotten, breathing.
03:41Where are you?
03:44Alive and well and living in mortal bloody terror.
03:54What are you doing hiding?
03:57Mainly hiding.
03:59What from?
04:00Guess.
04:01Heavy breathing?
04:02I can't stand it any longer.
04:04I can't.
04:05I can't.
04:06I bloody can't.
04:08Six breakfasts I've had this morning.
04:11Seven, including the one my wife threw at me.
04:13What did we eat them for?
04:15I need the energy, don't I?
04:17That's 12 blocks of flats
04:18lying in ambush up that road.
04:21That's 400 breakfasts
04:23waiting to be eaten.
04:27I was even a sex symbol at school.
04:30In the infants.
04:32A couple of licorice of all sorts
04:34and a conker they'd think you were anybody's.
04:37I thought I'd be safer when I got into long pants.
04:40But no.
04:41Gosh, you're never in them for long, are you?
04:43I sympathise me.
04:45It must be a terrible problem.
04:47It is, it is.
04:48It isn't.
04:49Eh?
04:49Not any longer.
04:50Eh?
04:51Winston, what would happen if Colin Bell stood at the halfway line,
04:54chained up the birds,
04:55while the rest of the team were playing the kneecaps off?
04:57Colin wouldn't.
04:58He's one of nature's bigging gentlemen.
05:00A lead United player, mate.
05:02They're capable of anything.
05:03Especially Bremner.
05:04What would happen to him
05:05if he'd given a free transfer?
05:08Come pray!
05:09Just to recap on that statement I stated,
05:12you want a transfer.
05:13Correct.
05:14Onto another round?
05:15Correct.
05:15Away from number three, gang?
05:16Correct.
05:17Why?
05:18Cheese and egg has had enough.
05:19Of what?
05:20Me having too much.
05:21Of what?
05:22Come to think of it,
05:23I've had enough of me having too much.
05:25Of what?
05:26You dirty pig.
05:30Well, lad,
05:31it's been a long time together,
05:32man and boy.
05:33Yeah.
05:33Friend and colleague.
05:34Yeah.
05:34Well, goodbye, good luck,
05:35and from the bottom of my heart,
05:37good bloody riddance.
05:38Thanks.
05:38Get naughty.
05:39So long, mate.
05:40The longer, the better.
05:41Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:42Thanks.
05:42Get your stuff.
05:43Ta-da.
05:44Be good, Eric.
05:46I've got a goodbye present for you.
05:48You'll see me in the canteen every day.
05:50The round he's going on
05:50will still be in England.
05:53Thanks, Eric.
05:54Found it in the rubbish, did you?
05:55In me mam's jewellery box.
05:57It's a copy of last year's
05:58TV Times Christmas special.
06:00No.
06:01I tell a lie.
06:02The year before,
06:03including a full-colour picture
06:05of Ivory Manuel.
06:07You sure she won't mind?
06:08Has she got another seven?
06:11See ya.
06:14Should old acquaintance be
06:17a god and ne'er
06:20called to mind?
06:23Should...
06:25It'd be funny with no heavy breathing.
06:28Seen a strange face in his place.
06:30Not strange.
06:31Frightening.
06:33Frightening?
06:35Ah!
06:36Hello.
06:38I'm Smelly.
06:39I know.
06:40But who are ya?
06:42I'm your new bin man.
06:43I'll come by me keepers.
06:45Get it?
06:45Yes, and that's a bloody sight
06:47more than you, Will.
06:50Far heck.
06:51Nearly.
07:14Sorry, madam.
07:15Subsection 4,
07:16clause 11
07:16of the 1958 health act.
07:18We're not allowed
07:18to dispose of husbands
07:19at the municipal rubbish dump.
07:20Every housewife will be doing it.
07:22We have the facilities.
07:23You'll just have to go
07:24through the normal divorce channels.
07:26It's all right.
07:26I'm just squashing the rubbish down
07:28to make more room.
07:29That's what they all say, madam.
07:31Honest.
07:31It's all right, madam.
07:32Just my little joke.
07:33Ah.
07:34I like a laugh.
07:35Yes.
07:36Well, it's better than crying, isn't it?
07:38Very true.
07:39Best tonic in the world.
07:41So, yes, sir.
07:43So, we'll, er...
07:45We'll just leave it at that, eh?
07:47What?
07:48A friendly smile.
07:49Good morning.
07:50Nice day.
07:50Finish.
07:51No monkey business.
07:52No wandering hands.
07:53And we'll get along fine.
07:54Understood?
07:55No.
07:57I'm called heavy breathing in the trade.
07:59You've no doubt heard the odd fable about me.
08:01No.
08:02Well, a tip to make it easier for you.
08:04Er, don't gaze into me eyes.
08:05That's fatal.
08:07And if you should happen to notice me muscles rippling under me shirt,
08:09well, just look the other way and think of your children.
08:12Now, granted, you'll probably be driven crazy with desire
08:15just listening to my husky voice or watching my sensuous walk,
08:18but I've got me bins to empty.
08:21Good morning.
08:22Hang on.
08:24It won't work, madam.
08:25You won't be the first one whose clothes have suddenly accidentally
08:27fallen off in the kitchen.
08:28The extra rubbish I was making room for.
08:31Good morning.
08:33W-Weren't you listening to me?
08:34Yes.
08:35Well?
08:37You do like your little joke, don't you?
08:41You're dafter than pinky and perky, but not as sexy.
08:44Good morning.
08:53You're trying to hide your disappointment, aren't you?
08:59Aren't you?
09:17Well, I'd look.
09:27You what, love?
09:29Hello?
09:30Is it something from the war?
09:32Only a few minutes.
09:33I'll keep my cap on and my boots on just to save time.
09:36Doing what?
09:37Think it.
09:38Pardon?
09:38Are you one of every breathing's young girl?
09:42Oh, no, love, no.
09:43You want numbers 15, 11, 7, 6, 3 and 1.
09:50What are you?
09:50Number 12.
09:52Oh, sorry.
09:52But don't you ever, you know, watch it?
09:56Not if I can help it.
09:58I thought you were coming shopping with your mother.
10:01Hang on, Jean.
10:03That's right.
10:05David, come on.
10:09I thought you never, er...
10:11Oh, well, we always have happy event nine months after United win championship at Cup.
10:16I see.
10:17Yes, you see, my hub is a big United supporter and, well, he has his own way of celebrating.
10:22Oh?
10:23Oh, they've had a hell of a good run these last few years.
10:26Yes, I was glad when Matt was very tired.
10:49Yes?
10:51It's me.
10:52It's you.
10:53With no shirt on.
10:55With no shirt on.
10:58With it being such torridot weather.
11:00Oh, fast as fast.
11:03Ah.
11:05I've, er, I've brought your bin back and emptied it and brought it back again.
11:12I know the visual sight of my torso is understandably driving you frantic, but with it, er, being such, er,
11:18torridot weather.
11:20Honestly.
11:21Oh, well, don't you start disrobing.
11:24I've just settled for good morning, nice day and no monkey business.
11:27Actually, I was getting a bucket of cold water to throw over you.
11:37Is it because I've only got eight hairs on me bosom?
11:40A lot of women don't like men with hairy bosoms.
11:44Just eight.
11:52It's as bad as it was before.
11:54We've not progressed.
11:55It's pigging worse.
11:56Whatever time heavy pigging breathing spent doing it, smelly spent double trying to.
11:59Correct.
12:00And if he's not working twice as hard as heavy breathing wasn't, how hard are we?
12:03A lot.
12:04Twice, you great plunk.
12:05Twice, yes.
12:06Correct.
12:07It's become just a job, hasn't it?
12:09What has?
12:10The pigging job.
12:11Oh.
12:11Oh, yes.
12:12No satisfaction.
12:13Only twice as hard and ten times as smelly.
12:17There's only one course of industrial action left, right?
12:20Pardon?
12:21Right?
12:21I thought you said left, right.
12:22Correct.
12:23Come on.
12:31Enjoying your work?
12:33Oh, yeah.
12:34Great.
12:34How's the new round?
12:36Oh, well, you know.
12:37One-trap minds.
12:39How's the old round?
12:41Bloody divinity.
12:42A unit working together.
12:44A happy ship.
12:45Four men with a common purpose.
12:47A common loyalty.
12:49A brotherhood such that if number three gang were to last for a thousand years,
12:54still would men say...
12:58Bye, I'm Nelly.
13:00What a bloody forward line.
13:03We can't stand smelly!
13:05We want the pigging trunks back!
13:07Oh, yeah.
13:24No, I'm Nelly.
13:29You're still on.
13:44The dustbin men, piece 619 stroke 6, part 2, take 1.
14:01The dustbin men, piece 619 stroke 6, part 2, take 1.
14:02The dustbin men, piece 619 stroke 6, part 2, take 1.
14:16There's one thing of mine that heavy breathing's resonant.
14:18It's my esteem.
14:1947 hours he's been in and come straight out again.
14:22Without yielding to temptation.
14:24Glory, glory, hallelujah, Colin Belford King.
14:26He's even working harder than we are.
14:28The only thing is he don't look very happy.
14:31I think he looks bloody fantastic.
14:44Have you been invited to address the Conservative Piggy Party Piggy Confidence again?
14:50Yes.
14:51Have you gonna have to shave lotion on?
14:54You dirty pig.
15:00Good morning.
15:01Good morning.
15:02Good morning.
15:03Shall I do that house?
15:05No!
15:08There's only an inquiry.
15:10I'm gonna ask for my TV Times Christmas special back.
15:22No thanks.
15:24Eh?
15:25Here.
15:27Shouldn't you come rug and roll instead of whistling?
15:30Is that latest?
15:31Aren't you the rug and bone chap?
15:33I'm more of a Prince Charming as far as you're concerned.
15:36Only?
15:37Ander?
15:37Hey?
15:38Ander?
15:39Would you repeat that question?
15:41I'm here in part exchange for every breathing so if you'd like to step inside...
15:45You can't come in!
15:46My friend who was in the next bedroom when we was having us operations is visiting.
15:50She's big.
15:51She'll eat you.
15:52Here you are Mildred.
15:53Here's a nice cup of tea.
15:55Lawrence!
15:56Bloody ding dong.
15:58It is.
15:59It's my Lawrence.
16:00Come back.
16:01Only with no teeth.
16:02Do you know him?
16:03It's only me rotten legally married rancid husband back after 17 years absent from our
16:08bloody knees.
16:08I'm not a Lawrence.
16:09I'm a smelly.
16:10He's on the dustbins.
16:11I'm not.
16:12I'm not.
16:13I'm an article chartered accountant and a commissioner for bloody oath.
16:17I'm sorry.
16:19Ah!
16:19Ah!
16:20Ah!
16:29You don't know me.
16:30You never heard of me.
16:31I don't know where I am.
16:48She smiled at me.
16:51And she wrinkled her nose girlishly.
16:55And her eyes twinkled and her teeth flashed.
16:57She sounds like a pig in fruit machine.
16:59And her little pink tongue shyly moistened her ripe ruby lips.
17:05And she whispered uscally,
17:08Come here.
17:10And I did.
17:13And she stuck her dustbin on me head.
17:16Did you laugh?
17:19Them cops don't keep their shape, do they?
17:21And not for the price.
17:24I believe many people have gone funny.
17:27Under the material emphasis of contemporary society and its undermining of established values.
17:33My ma'am says she noticed it in the butchers.
17:51It's only ever happened once before.
17:54A bird not fancying me.
17:57Once.
17:59Six years ago in Dr. Slushberg's waiting room.
18:03Me and eleven women.
18:05And one of them didn't make a pass at me.
18:09Found out afterwards she was waiting for an anaesthetic to wear off.
18:13And does a Mrs Green Gables fancy you?
18:17I'll tell a lie.
18:19Twice before.
18:21Margot Fontaine when she visited the depot.
18:25She smiled and waved of course.
18:28Wish she didn't wink at me or pinch me bum.
18:32Still she hadn't been a dame five minutes.
18:34I thought you didn't like women taking advantage of you.
18:37What's that got to do with it?
18:38Bloody everything.
18:40No, no, no.
18:42Miss Deep is this.
18:44Do you fancy her?
18:45Don't be so bloody disgusting.
18:48That's too pigging deep for me.
18:52How would you feel?
18:54If Colin Bell suddenly started kicking into his own goal shouting,
18:58I hope we get relegated.
19:00We are pathetic.
19:09Excuse me, Mr Breathing.
19:11Could you spare a moment, please?
19:32It's been a funny year altogether.
19:35Mercury was in retrogression, you know, in the lunar phase.
19:38And Taurus and Aquarius, ha!
19:41They finished up in a right muck-up.
19:43If you tell me your mum noticed that in the butchers,
19:47I'll tread on your head.
19:50Oh.
19:52Now, the situation as I see it at this particular moment,
19:55or possibly juncture in time,
19:57is that you have made the following request.
20:00In answer to any outside enquiries, I am to say,
20:02you do not work here,
20:04and that for personal reasons you wish to remain incognito.
20:08Why? Who are you? Anastasia?
20:10I wish to plead the Fourth Amendment.
20:12It's pathetic.
20:13On the grounds that any answer might incriminate me bloody self.
20:18If MI5 pop round here to hang me upside down by the cuticles,
20:21if you think I'm going to maintain a bow of silence, you've got to...
20:24You're a good job.
20:26Request granted.
20:29You're another one, aren't you?
20:30You're all crumpet bloody crackers, the lot of you.
20:34Well, I'm going back to the lats.
20:36At least I can roll bromide in their fags,
20:38and I'll wish for a transfer.
20:41Now!
20:42Does anybody ever stop to think what I wish?
20:45Morning at Christmas.
20:48Well, I wish it all pickin' well clear off,
20:51and take off ladies pickin' hairdressing!
20:56And that's blinkin' well swearing.
21:04Nice horticultural garden.
21:06Yes.
21:07I'm quite a gardening enthusiast myself.
21:10Yes?
21:11What sort of roses are they?
21:13Tulips.
21:14Ah.
21:17As to breathing,
21:19I want you to do me a favour.
21:22Naturally, sweetheart, I appreciate that.
21:25But what did I tell you that first morning?
21:28What?
21:29No monkey business.
21:31No monkey business.
21:33No wandering hands.
21:34No wandering hands.
21:36And?
21:36And we'll get along fine.
21:39And bloody dandy.
21:40Right?
21:43Well...
21:44Back to me bins.
21:46But I still haven't told you the favour I wanted.
21:48There's no need to, sweetheart.
21:50I understand.
21:51You don't?
21:52Eh?
21:53It isn't you.
21:55It isn't me.
21:57It's Eric.
21:58It's Eric.
21:59The one like a Pekingese puppy with the sexy ears.
22:03Would you tell him that if ever he'd like to pop in for a nice cup of tea?
22:07No monkey business, but just a nice cup of tea.
22:09He's only to...
22:10Eric!
22:11If you could just put in a good word.
22:13Bloody Eric!
22:14Our Eric!
22:15Eric the daft!
22:16You can't be jealous.
22:17Only two minutes ago.
22:18You said you've got bins to...
22:20What?
22:20Jealous?
22:21Of Eric?
22:23Of him?
22:26Jealous?
22:30Ow!
22:33What's that done?
22:38Stand up!
22:39You'll knock me down again.
22:41Won't you, Doris?
22:42If she's so fond of horticulture, let's see if she likes sexy cauliflower ears.
22:47Mrs Green bloody Gables.
22:49A woman.
22:50A woman.
22:51Another bloody woman!
22:53Right!
22:54That's it.
22:55Arrivederci Roma.
22:57Farewell, Manchester.
22:58Goodbye, Mr Chips.
22:59I've had enough.
23:00I'm putting him for a transfer.
23:03They're all this.
23:04Why, two?
23:05When they're only for women.
23:06And therefore, just men.
23:09And therefore, peace.
23:10And therefore, bloody happiness.
23:15Amen.
23:33A man without a woman is like a fish without a tail, like a boat without a rudder, like a
23:43ship without a sail.
23:45Take a look at me, I'm very friendly.
23:47Let me have a jam bag, Jenny!
23:49You're almost a man of a bear with her.
23:55Leave him alive.
24:02Yes, of course.
24:09If he doesn't have run-it, we'll answer his problems, too.
24:14How are his viewers please?
24:14Come in, my mother.
24:14They're only for a baby about a tw BLHT.
24:15I'll pass that a damning tomorrow, then.
24:15Who's standing next meeting?
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