- 4 weeks ago
Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00My fiancé spent every Valentine's Day in Aspen with another woman.
00:08He always called it a business trip.
00:16In five years, she got the mountains and the snow.
00:21I got five cheap keychames.
00:25This morning, I canceled the apartment we bought together.
00:30You paid $45,000 down. Don't you want to wait for your fiancé?
00:33I slid the keys across her desk and smiled.
00:37No.
00:39He's in Aspen shopping with his first love.
00:42Yesterday, I opened his old camera.
00:44Dozens of photos showed the same woman in the snow.
00:48The angle never changed over five years.
00:53The same peak always stood behind her.
00:57Ryan only took me on one long trip.
01:00We drove to the next city over and saw this apartment.
01:03Maya.
01:05We don't need fancy things.
01:07A steady life together is enough.
01:12So I built that steady life alone.
01:14I chose the paint myself.
01:17And I picked out every single decoration myself.
01:21I signed the cancellation form and broke down at her desk.
01:25Do you still want to cancel?
01:26I dried my eyes and nodded.
01:32Yes.
01:34My phone buzzed against the desk.
01:36Ryan was texting me from Aspen.
01:38It's snowing here.
01:39Freezing.
01:40I found you a keychain.
01:41Cute, right?
01:41Keychain number five was already on its way.
01:47I drove home with his text still glowing on my screen.
01:50The apartment was dark and silent.
01:52By the front door sat a pair of white canvas shoes.
01:55They were lined up neatly beside Ryan's.
01:57The shoes were tiny.
01:59A women's size five.
02:00I wear a seven.
02:01They were not mine.
02:02And they were not new.
02:03I picked one up and felt a note under the insole.
02:06It read.
02:08Rye, wear these next time.
02:09We had been together for five whole years.
02:12I never knew that anyone called him Rye.
02:15He never once let me use that name.
02:17Another woman had a private name for my fiancé.
02:20Her shoes were already sitting in my hallway.
02:22Then my phone lit up on the counter.
02:24Ryan was video calling me from Aspen.
02:27Did you eat dinner yet?
02:28I already ate.
02:29My flight lands the day after tomorrow.
02:31A woman's voice slipped in behind him.
02:34Rye, the car is here.
02:35I'm coming now.
02:37Hannah needs me.
02:37I have to go.
02:38Why is she at your hotel?
02:41She's right next door.
02:42We're only getting dinner.
02:44He hung up before I could answer.
02:46His nickname belonged to her and never to me.
02:52His laptop was still open on the desk.
02:54The screen woke the moment I touched it.
02:56A travel booking filled the page.
02:58It was a couple's retreat at Lake Tahoe.
03:01In the notes field, he had typed Hannah's birthday gift.
03:04Hannah's birthday is February 15th.
03:06My birthday is March 9th.
03:08Last year, he forgot mine completely.
03:10I had asked him to spend that evening with me.
03:12He told me he had a business dinner.
03:14His text finally came at 11 that night.
03:16Just got home.
03:17Happy birthday.
03:18I'll make it up next time.
03:19He always promised to make it up to me.
03:21It meant the same as every next time.
03:23Not one promise ever came true.
03:25Then I opened his cloud photos.
03:27His album held more than 3,000 pictures.
03:30I scrolled and counted every shot of my face.
03:33Only 11 of them were me.
03:35One folder was labeled Aspen Snow.
03:38I opened it and my chest went tight.
03:39Every single photo inside was Hannah.
03:42Each shot of her was lit and posed with care.
03:45He never once aimed the camera that way for me.
03:49Once I asked him for a better picture of myself.
03:52Can you make me look nice in one?
03:54It's just a photo.
03:55Good enough.
03:56Good enough was all he ever gave me.
03:58Every photo he ever took with care belonged to her.
04:07Two days later, Ryan came home.
04:10He rolled his suitcase through the door.
04:13He handed me a small paper bag first.
04:16Here's your keychain.
04:19Inside, sack a tiny deer on a metal ring.
04:22It was keychain number 5.
04:24Just as promised.
04:25He handed it over without looking up.
04:29Then he pulled a larger bag from his suitcase.
04:32A corner of deep red fabric slipped out.
04:34What is that?
04:35Cashmere scarf for Hannah.
04:37She likes the color and pattern.
04:38You bought her a scarf?
04:40She said she wanted one.
04:41I grabbed one for her on the way.
04:43I touched it once.
04:44It was soft and expensive.
04:45Last winter, I had asked him for a cashmere scarf.
04:49Ryan countered it with a question.
04:51Why?
04:51You already own a few of those.
04:57Every scarf in my closet, I had bought myself.
05:02In Aspen, he had found time to shop for her.
05:07He had never once chosen a real gift for me.
05:10I'm wiped out.
05:11That flight was four hours.
05:13He dropped onto the couch and shut his eyes.
05:15When will you take me to Aspen?
05:16He went still for a second.
05:18Why bring that up now?
05:18I have asked you for five years.
05:20After this busy stretch, next time.
05:24That was the 17th time he said next time.
05:27I had believed every single one.
05:28Then, my phone rang on the table.
05:31His mother's name lit up the screen.
05:38I picked up the phone.
05:40Maya, is Ryan home now?
05:42He's back, Mrs. Hall.
05:44You two need to lock down a wedding date.
05:46People keep asking me about the invitations.
05:51We're still working on it.
05:52Hannah came by last week and chose the wedding cake.
05:54She picked four flavors at the tasting.
05:58I looked over at Ryan, scrolling on the couch.
06:01He had never cared about our wedding at all.
06:05I had handled every part of it alone.
06:09Hannah chose our wedding cake?
06:10She said you were busy, so she came herself.
06:13She is such a thoughtful girl.
06:14You could have just told me directly.
06:16You didn't have to bother her.
06:18Trouble?
06:18She comes three or four times a month.
06:20That is far more often than you.
06:23Ryan had said his mother wanted a quiet house.
06:27But Hannah visited three or four times a month.
06:30His mother had never minded a guest.
06:33She had only ever minded me.
06:35His mother sent a photo to my phone.
06:37Hannah stood in her kitchen, wearing an apron.
06:40She held up a dish and smiled.
06:42The caption read,
06:43Hannah's pot roast tastes just the same as mine.
06:46Hannah looked more at home there than I ever did.
06:48She knew that kitchen better than I did.
06:50Another message came right behind it.
06:52Maya, I'll be honest with you.
06:54I watched Hannah grow up.
06:55She and Ryan are close.
06:57You are sweet, but you don't know how to take care of people.
06:59You should learn that from Hannah.
07:01I set the phone face down on the table.
07:03Even his mother had already chosen Hannah.
07:08Ryan walked into the kitchen.
07:12Why aren't you eating?
07:14I'm not hungry.
07:17He went to the closet for his pajamas.
07:19A red velvet box peeked out of his suit jacket.
07:22What is that?
07:24Hannah's birthday gift.
07:25A necklace.
07:27He opened the box for me to see.
07:29A thin silver chain lay inside.
07:32The pendant was a small aspen leaf.
07:34One letter was engraved at its center.
07:36The letter was R.
07:38R was Ryan's own initial.
07:40He had put his own initial on her gift.
07:42It's custom made.
07:44It took two months.
07:45My engagement ring came from a website.
07:49He had opened the package and slipped it on me.
07:52I asked to choose one in a store.
07:54Ryan said all the rings were the same.
07:57So there was no point in going.
08:01But now he had spent two months on a custom necklace for Hannah.
08:06You had a necklace made for her?
08:08It's her birthday.
08:10It's a small thing.
08:12What did you give me last birthday?
08:14He thought about it for a moment.
08:16I think I sent you some money.
08:18No!
08:19You didn't!
08:21Then I forgot.
08:22I'll make it up next time.
08:26Is any of this normal to you?
08:28Here we go again.
08:30Hannah and I grew up together.
08:31We don't need fancy things, Maya.
08:34A steady life matters more than anything.
08:36He saved every fancy thing for her.
08:39The getaways, the necklace, the birthday surprises were all hers.
08:43All he ever left me was a steady life.
08:51You are right.
08:52I turned off the light and lay down with my back to him.
08:55Then let's live that steady life.
08:58The next day, Owen invited us to a reunion.
09:02He mentioned that Hannah would be there too.
09:06When we arrived, Hannah was already seated.
09:09She was wearing a necklace that Ryan had made for her.
09:12Ryan, over here!
09:14Ryan crossed the room and sat beside her.
09:17I took the seat on his other side.
09:19A woman leaned in toward Hannah's necklace.
09:22That necklace is beautiful.
09:24Who gave it to you?
09:25Hannah held the pendant and glanced at Ryan.
09:29She had wanted someone to ask all along.
09:32Oh, just a friend.
09:33What friend is this generous?
09:35It's custom, isn't it?
09:36I gave it a birthday gift.
09:39Just something I picked up.
09:42He called it something he just picked up.
09:44He had spent two whole months on it.
09:47Casual was always his favorite kind of lie.
09:50The woman's eyes moved between Ryan and me.
09:53So you bought your fiancé one too?
09:55Maya doesn't like wearing these things.
09:57It was not that I disliked them.
09:59He had never once bought me one.
10:02So he decided that I didn't want one.
10:06You don't mind, do you, Maya?
10:08I don't mind.
10:09You are so generous.
10:12I smiled and said nothing at all.
10:14But I had quietly stopped fighting for my place.
10:19Inside, I had already let him go.
10:21I went to the bathroom alone.
10:23Hannah followed me inside.
10:25She touched up her lipstick in the mirror.
10:30Don't take this the wrong way.
10:32Rai is careless, but he is not a bad man.
10:36Try not to be so hard on him.
10:41I am not hard on him.
10:43He says you have been on edge lately.
10:45You get upset over me all the time.
10:48He had carried our private fights straight to her.
10:52To her, I had become the unstable one.
10:56If you can't even trust him, why marry him?
10:58He goes to Aspen with you every year.
11:00What exactly am I supposed to trust?
11:03That is only business.
11:05Business does not photograph one woman for five years.
11:09Her smile held, but her eyes went cold.
11:11Rai and I are friends.
11:12The rest is only in your head.
11:14She picked up her bag and paused at the door.
11:16For your living room, go with warm gray.
11:19Rai likes it better than your cream white.
11:21The door closed behind her.
11:23I had chosen cream white for that wall myself.
11:26I watched the painters roll on two full coats.
11:28Ryan had never once come to see it.
11:30Yet he let Hannah judge my home and agreed with her.
11:33My fiancé had handed her that power.
11:35Even these walls were no longer mine to choose.
11:41On Sunday morning, I made his favorite breakfast.
11:44Pancakes, eggs, and crisp bacon filled his plate.
11:48Ryan, can you stay home with me today?
11:51Why? Is something wrong?
11:52I just want you here for one whole day.
11:55Sure. I have nothing planned anyway.
11:57He smiled and sat down to eat.
11:59I watched him and tried to memorize his face.
12:04Ryan, do you love me?
12:06His fork stopped above his plate.
12:09Why are you asking that now?
12:11I just want to hear you say it once.
12:13I'm about to marry you, aren't I?
12:15Marriage and love are not the same thing.
12:17What has gotten into you today?
12:20I only want to hear the words.
12:22He set down his fork and looked at me.
12:26Maya, of course I...
12:27His phone buzzed against the table.
12:29It was a message from Hannah.
12:31She said a pipe had bursted at her place.
12:33Ryan read it, threw on his coat, and left.
12:37I sat alone at our kitchen table.
12:40The breakfast had gone stone cold.
12:42I rose and walked into the bedroom.
12:44I pulled two suitcases from the closet.
12:46Very little in that home was mine.
12:47One case held my clothes.
12:49Half a case held my books and small things.
12:51My phone buzzed again while I packed.
12:53Home around three.
12:54He had no idea I was already gone.
12:56Hannah had left more behind than I owned.
12:59Her shoes, her coat, and her mug were everywhere.
13:04I packed it all in under an hour.
13:08Five years had shrunk into one hour of packing.
13:11Then I slipped the engagement ring off my finger.
13:14I set it on the coffee table.
13:16Beside it, I lined up the five keychams.
13:19I left a note next to them.
13:21It read,
13:22I canceled the apartment.
13:23Find someone else to go on the honeymoon with.
13:29I dragged the two suitcase to the front door.
13:31I looked back one last time at the apartment.
13:35There was the worn dent where Ryan always sat.
13:38Hannah's coaster still rested on the coffee table.
13:41Her strawberry yogurt was still in the fridge.
13:43This home was full of Ryan and Hannah.
13:46My entire life here fit into two small suitcases.
13:49Five years had shrunk down to just this.
13:55I closed the door and left it unlocked behind me.
14:01A rideshare was already waiting at the curb.
14:04The driver loaded my bags into the trunk.
14:07Where are you headed?
14:10The train station, please.
14:15The car pulled away and I did not look back.
14:18I switched my phone to silent and rode in silence.
14:23Three hours later, the train reached the new city.
14:26The platform was loud and full of strangers.
14:29No one was waiting for me at the station.
14:32Once, that emptiness would have crushed me.
14:35This time, I did not mind at all.
14:38The new city glowed with thousands of distant lights.
14:41Not a single one of them shone for me.
14:45But no light in that old home ever had.
14:48I had stopped needing anyone to wait for me.
14:52I finally took my phone off silent.
14:55A flood of messages poured onto the screen.
15:02The last two were from Ryan.
15:09The last two messages were from Ryan.
15:11I saw the five keychains on the table.
15:13Maya, please pick up my call.
15:15That was his 27th message to me.
15:17I had not opened a single one before now.
15:20Then Claire's name flashed on the screen.
15:23Did you really leave?
15:25Ryan is frantic.
15:26Yes.
15:27I left this morning.
15:29He went to your office looking for you.
15:32I already quit my job.
15:34You quit too?
15:35You gave up everything?
15:37I am starting over in a new city.
15:39Claire went quiet for a moment.
15:42He has called me eight times tonight.
15:45What did you tell him?
15:46I told him I had no idea where you went.
15:48She paused before she spoke again.
15:49His voice was strange, Maya.
15:51He said he doesn't understand why you left.
15:54He said everything between you two was fine.
15:58He truly believed that we were fine.
16:01I decorated that whole apartment alone.
16:04I cancelled it alone and packed alone.
16:09To him, all of it had looked fine.
16:12I had been invisible in my own life.
16:16Claire, give him one message from me.
16:19What is it?
16:20Tell him the note already said everything.
16:22And that's it?
16:23Yes, that is all.
16:25I ended the call and set the phone down.
16:28For five years I had waited.
16:30Now I was finally done.
16:39An unknown number called.
16:41I answered it without thinking.
16:45Is this Maya?
16:47It's Owen, Ryan's friend.
16:50Owen?
16:51What is this about?
16:53Ryan sat at my place for three hours today.
16:56He was not himself at all.
16:58What do you mean?
17:00He kept staring at the note.
17:02You left him.
17:05Then, he asked me a strange question.
17:09What did he ask?
17:10He asked if five keychains were really too few.
17:14My fingers tightened around the phone.
17:17He said it was all he gave you in five years.
17:22Then he opened his phone and scrolled forever.
17:25Scrolled through what?
17:29He scrolled his photos and counted 11 of you.
17:32For Hannah, he stopped counting at 300.
17:38The line went silent for a few seconds.
17:43In 20 years, I have never seen him this broken.
17:49He read your old chats, then said one thing.
17:52What did he say?
17:55He said you told him next time 17 times.
18:00He said he never kept a single promise.
18:04I ended the call and stared out the window.
18:09A new text arrived from Ryan.
18:12Why didn't you tell me you were unhappy?
18:14Why didn't I tell him?
18:16Every time I spoke, someone else came first.
18:19Then another message lit up the screen.
18:21I went to the apartment.
18:23You cancelled it last week.
18:25The agent said you cried there for a long time.
18:28He finally walked into that apartment.
18:31I had spent four months making it ours.
18:34His first visit came after I let it go.
18:38You came too late.
18:44On my third day in the new city, I had two interviews.
18:48My new life was slowly finding a rhythm.
18:52Then Claire called me again at lunch.
18:56Ryan went back to the apartment yesterday.
18:59Why would he go there?
19:00He asked the agent to let him inside.
19:03He said he only wanted one look.
19:09What happened then?
19:11He stayed in there for two whole hours.
19:16I set my fork down on the plate.
19:19He said he froze the second he opened the door.
19:25Why would he freeze?
19:27He never knew you had decorated it that way.
19:34The walls were the cream white you picked.
19:39The curtains were the misty blue you love.
19:42A carpenter built the bookshelf from your own drawing.
19:48Your mint plant was still alive on the balcony.
19:54He never came to see it even once.
19:56For four months, I built that home alone.
20:00I sent him three photos and asked what he thought.
20:03You decide.
20:07They all look nice.
20:09He never even replied to the third one.
20:13After that, I stopped sending them to him.
20:17What else did he say?
20:19He found your renovation journal in a drawer.
20:26The last page had one line on it.
20:30I knew exactly which line she meant.
20:33You wrote you hoped he would like it when he walked in.
20:40The room went quiet, and so did the phone.
20:44I spent four months on it.
20:48He never came once.
20:51Then Hannah made one comment about the wall.
20:55And he wanted it repainted warm gray.
20:59Claire let out a long sigh.
21:02You really won't give him one chance?
21:06I gave him five years.
21:14Five years was every chance he would ever get.
21:17That afternoon, Ryan sent me a message.
21:21It was not words.
21:22It was a photo.
21:23The five keychains sat on the table beside my note.
21:26Below the picture, he had written a line.
21:29I counted.
21:29Five years, five keychains.
21:31I also listed Hannah's gifts, 37 of them.
21:34He had finally counted something real.
21:36For the first time, he counted a number that was mine.
21:39He had never once counted my lonely nights.
21:42Now the numbers finally scared him.
21:44That night, after a shower, I opened our old chat.
21:47His latest messages had arrived at 8.
21:49I cleared all of Hannah's things from the apartment.
21:51Her shoes, her coat, her mug, her lipstick, all gone.
21:54I canceled the trip to Lake Tahoe.
21:56I took the custom necklace back from her.
21:58He took the necklace back at last.
21:59But that necklace never should have left his hands.
22:02He was cleaning up a mess years too late.
22:04He fixed everything for a woman who had left.
22:07I typed a few words and then hesitated.
22:09You took it back?
22:11He replied within seconds.
22:13I did.
22:14Maya, when are you coming home?
22:17I stared at the screen for a long, long moment.
22:21Then I typed my final answer.
22:23I'm not coming back.
22:28On the fourth day, Hannah messaged me.
22:32Maya, are you okay?
22:33I am fine.
22:34What happened between you and Rye?
22:36He has been a different person these days.
22:38He boxed up all my things and took the necklace back.
22:41Her message was not really about me and Ryan.
22:44It was about her things being cleared away.
22:46Then ask him.
22:47I did.
22:47He won't tell me anything.
22:49Maya, did the two of you fight?
22:51No, I left him.
22:53You left?
22:53Where did you even go?
22:55I left him for good.
22:56The typing bubble rose and vanished many times.
22:58Then a long message finally came through.
23:00Maya, maybe I shouldn't say this.
23:02But Rye treats you so well, you know?
23:04He is soft-hearted and kind to everyone.
23:07Don't get jealous just because he is nice to me.
23:09We really are only friends.
23:11Leaving him over this is not worth it.
23:13She thought I had left out of jealousy.
23:14She thought I was being unreasonable.
23:16Hannah, how has he ever been good to me?
23:19Three minutes passed before she answered.
23:21He dated you for five years and bought a home.
23:23You were going to be his wife.
23:25He always calls you independent and capable.
23:28He truly admires you, Maya.
23:30He admired me, but admiration is not love.
23:33He had never once cherished me at all.
23:40Hannah kept calling Ryan kind and warm, so I finally told her the whole truth.
23:44Every Valentine's, he flew to Aspen with you.
23:49I sat home alone and waited each time.
23:53Your birthday got a custom necklace.
23:55Two months in the making.
23:58My ring came off a website, no questions asked.
24:02On my own birthday, he forgot me completely.
24:07He carried your cabinet, but never my box of books.
24:12He saved 300 photo of you.
24:15Of me, he kept only 11.
24:17But those trips were only ever business.
24:20Business does not repeat one woman for five years.
24:24The typing bubble appeared, then stopped cold.
24:29Then, a voice note came through.
24:32Her voice shaking.
24:33Maya, I truly did not know any of this.
24:35Rye never told me that you were unhappy.
24:37I always thought the two of you were fine.
24:39Her first reaction was that she had no idea.
24:42For a second, I almost believed she was sorry.
24:44Then a second voice note arrived.
24:45But Maya, who will go to Aspen with him now?
24:47I worry about him traveling all alone.
24:49Her second thought was not an apology.
24:51It was only about who would keep him accompanied.
24:53Hannah, he is my fiancé, not yours.
24:56Maya, you misunderstand.
24:57I did not mean that.
24:59You know exactly what you meant.
25:05Hannah went quiet, then switched to text.
25:08Maya, let me be honest with you.
25:10Rye's heart has always belonged to me.
25:14In five years, did he ever truly travel with you?
25:17Did he take one good photo of you?
25:19He stayed with you because you suit marriage.
25:21With me, he is actually happy.
25:23You are the kind a man lives with.
25:25I am the kind a man falls for.
25:28She was right about all of it.
25:30To Ryan, I was the woman to marry.
25:32Hannah was the woman to love.
25:34Thank you for telling me.
25:36Maya, please listen.
25:38Don't ever message me again.
25:40I deleted the entire chat.
25:43That night, Claire called me.
25:46Hannah called Ryan and forwarded your whole chat.
25:49She forwarded all of it?
25:50Every line.
25:51Even the part about being loved.
25:54What did Ryan say?
25:57He went silent for a long time.
25:59Then he said he never knew Hannah thought that way.
26:03She paused before she finished.
26:04But he admitted that Hannah was not wrong.
26:06He said he never loved you as he should have.
26:09At last he had admitted the truth.
26:10But admitting it and fixing it are not the same.
26:15Claire, nothing he says matters now.
26:17You really won't go back to him?
26:19I waited five years and believed 17 promises.
26:23I just don't believe him anymore.
26:29On my seventh day in the new city, Ryan found me.
26:32His voice carried in from the front desk.
26:35Hello?
26:35Is Maya Brooks here today?
26:38I watched him through the glass office door.
26:41He looked thinner, unshaven, with dark circles.
26:44He held a small paper bag in one hand.
26:46The receptionist glanced at me.
26:48I shook my head at her.
26:50Ms. Brooks is not in the office today.
26:52When will she be back?
26:53Look, I'm not sure.
26:55Do you want to leave anything?
26:57He set something on the counter and left.
27:00The receptionist brought it over to me.
27:03It was a navy cashmere scarf with no letter on it.
27:06A small note sat inside the box.
27:08It read,
27:09Last winter you wanted a cashmere scarf.
27:12I said you didn't need one.
27:13I'm sorry I am a year too late.
27:16Back then, my small wish only annoyed him.
27:19Now that I had left, he suddenly acted devoted.
27:21The tendness was for show.
27:23Not for me.
27:24At five o'clock, a co-worker hurried over to me.
27:27A man has been standing in the lobby for hours.
27:30I walked to the window and looked down.
27:32Ryan stood below, hands in his pockets, staring at his phone.
27:37I took the elevator down and stepped outside.
27:41Maya, it's you.
27:42How did you even find this place?
27:44I asked Claire.
27:45He looked at me, ready to say a thousand things.
27:49Not one of them would come out.
27:54You've lost weight.
27:57So have you.
28:02Do you know how I got here?
28:04I took a red-eye flight last night.
28:06No one picked me up at the airport.
28:09So I took a rideshare alone to a hotel.
28:14The driver asked if I was really alone so late.
28:17I told him yes.
28:20He paused, his voice growing rough.
28:25The drive was 40 minutes through empty streets.
28:29Sitting in the back, I suddenly understood something.
28:33Understood what exactly?
28:39This was how you came home from my mother's.
28:44Always alone, always late, with no one driving you.
28:49I did not go there often.
28:51But every single time, you rode home alone.
28:57I never once drove you myself.
29:01He had felt one night of what I lived for years.
29:06His voice was shaking now.
29:10I sat in that car and saw how selfish I was.
29:16Ryan, please stop.
29:18Please, let me finish.
29:20He reached into his coat and pulled something out.
29:23It was the silver necklace with the aspen leaf.
29:28He had never given me anything close.
29:32I took this back from Hannah.
29:36It never should have been hers.
29:41I know that now.
29:43Do you know what you had ingraced on it?
29:46An R.
29:46My own initial.
29:48You put your initial on a gift for another woman.
29:52Did that ever feel normal to you?
29:55No.
29:55It never did.
30:06When you had it made, did you think of my empty hands?
30:08No.
30:09I never thought of that.
30:11On those trips, did you recall your 17 promises?
30:13No.
30:14I did not.
30:15Moving her cabinet, do you remember my box of books?
30:18No.
30:19I had no excuse at all.
30:20Each answer came out quieter than the last.
30:22I always thought you simply did not need those things.
30:25You never complained, so I assumed you did not care.
30:27I cared.
30:28I just stopped saying it out loud.
30:30I understand that now.
30:32You understand it far too late.
30:35He was silent for a long moment.
30:37What if we started over again?
30:38There is no starting over.
30:39Then what if I change beginning today?
30:41Ryan, just go home.
30:42I am not going anywhere.
30:43I turn to walk back inside.
30:45Maya, what if I take you to Aspen now?
30:47Not next time.
30:47We go right now.
30:48I stopped for one second.
30:49I don't want to go anymore.
30:51Why not, Maya?
30:52Because Aspen isn't just pretty view to me anymore.
30:55It is your five years with Hannah.
30:57His hand dropped to his side.
30:58The necklace slipped from his fingers and struck the floor.
31:01A faint metallic click rang out behind me.
31:03I did not turn around to look.
31:06Take the necklace.
31:07It was never mine.
31:11The next morning, a co-worker told me something.
31:15He sat in the lobby until sunrise, then left.
31:20I walked to the window and looked down.
31:23The lobby entrance stood empty now.
31:26At ten, a message came from Ryan.
31:30Ryan, I will not give up.
31:32I will wait as long as you talk to me.
31:37At noon, Claire called me again.
31:40Ryan asked me to pass on a message.
31:43What is the message?
31:45He deleted every way to reach Hannah.
31:47He turned off their location sharing.
31:50He erased their whole chat history.
31:54And then what?
31:58He went to that little diner you two loved.
32:02That diner was where it all began.
32:04In our first year, he told me how he felt there.
32:07He swore we would return every anniversary.
32:11After that first time, he never went back.
32:13Now he chased that promise alone, years too late.
32:17He ate there alone and spoke to the owner.
32:20What did he say?
32:21He asked the owner to save him a seat.
32:24He promised to come back every single year.
32:27I said nothing for a moment.
32:29Claire let out a soft sigh.
32:31Maya, I know how much you suffered.
32:33But he really does seem to be changing.
32:35Whether he changes or not, it no longer matters.
32:38Why doesn't it?
32:43Because I am not the girl who waited five years ago.
32:49That afternoon, Ryan waited across the street at a cafe.
32:52I went down to buy coffee and saw him.
32:55You are still here.
32:58I told you I would wait.
33:00I have nothing left to say to you.
33:02But I do.
33:03Please look at this.
33:05He handed me a thick envelope.
33:07Inside was a stack of handwritten pages.
33:09The first page was titled,
33:11What I Owe Maya.
33:12Each line named one thing he had failed to do.
33:15He had skipped our very first anniversary dinner.
33:17He refused me a scarf,
33:19then bought one for Hannah.
33:21My third decorating photo never got a reply.
33:23He would not carry one box of books for me.
33:26In all, the list ran to 47 items.
33:29How long did this take you to write?
33:32It took two days.
33:34If you listed 47 in two days, you always knew.
33:37He had no reply to that.
33:39You knew you owed me.
33:42You chose Hannah anyway.
33:44I do care, Maya.
33:47If you cared, there would not be 47 items.
33:50I stood and pushed the envelope back to him.
33:52You remember my favorite flower now?
33:54You remember my birthday now?
33:57But you are five years too late.
34:01I walked toward the door.
34:03Hannah said you're the one a man marries,
34:05and she's the one he loves!
34:07I stopped at the threshold.
34:09She was wrong about that.
34:11You are the one who deserves to be loved.
34:15I simply put everything in the wrong order.
34:17You are right, Ryan.
34:18I do deserve to be loved.
34:20So I will choose a place where that can happen.
34:22It will not be beside you.
34:27A package arrived at my new office one morning.
34:30The sender was Ryan Hale.
34:32I hesitated, then opened the box.
34:34On top lay a folded letter in his handwriting.
34:37In it, he said he would not hold on to me.
34:40He wrote that he finally accepted it was over.
34:44After all his chasing, he was letting me go.
34:47Beneath the letter, wrapped in bubble wrap, was my journal.
34:50A card was tucked against the cover.
34:52It read, this holds four months of your work.
34:55I cannot keep it.
34:57He was giving back the home I had built.
34:59Under the journal sat the five old keychains.
35:01He had not thrown a single one away.
35:03He had kept every cheap little one.
35:05A note rested beside them.
35:07It read, these were everything you got in five years.
35:10They are yours.
35:11A co-worker glanced over at my desk.
35:13Everything okay over there, Maya?
35:15Yes.
35:15I'm fine, thank you.
35:17At the very bottom lay one more keychain.
35:19It was not from Aspen this time.
35:21It belonged to my new life, not his.
35:24A final note sat under it.
35:26It read, this is your city's landmark.
35:28I bought it at the airport.
35:29Hannah did not pick it.
35:30I chose it myself for the first time.
35:33For five years, he never once chose a gift for me.
35:36The first time he did, I was already gone.
35:38I held that small keychain in my hand for a long time.
35:44That afternoon, my mother called me.
35:47Maya Ryan came by the house today.
35:50What did he go there for?
35:51He brought your father a gift and apologized.
35:54Your father would not let him inside.
35:56Did he leave?
35:58He did.
36:00Before he left, he said one thing.
36:03What did he say?
36:05He said, I'm sorry.
36:07I did not treat her well.
36:09My mother's voice caught for a second.
36:11Maya, are you truly finished with him?
36:14Mom, he stopped wanting me first.
36:17He chose Hannah for five years.
36:19I waited five years.
36:21I am not waiting anymore.
36:22Then take good care of yourself.
36:25I will, Mom.
36:27After the call, his last messages came through.
36:30I mailed you a box.
36:31My letter is on top.
36:33I also put some other things inside.
36:36If you don't want them, just throw them away.
36:39Please be careful, living on your own.
36:41I deleted the Aspen Snow album.
36:43There will be no sixth winter.
36:44I stared at that last line for a long time.
36:47My eyes blurted for a moment.
36:49I typed a reply, then erased it.
36:51In the end, I sent him only one word.
36:54Received.
36:56On my way home, I stopped at a flower shop.
37:00I bought a bunch of Lysanias.
37:05He never knew it was my favorite flower.
37:08Now I no longer needed him to know.
37:12At home, I put the flowers in a vase.
37:15I set the new keychain on my shelf.
37:18It was the first gift he ever truly chose.
37:24It was also the last that I would keep.
37:27My old journal still held that final line.
37:31I had hoped he would like it when he walked in.
37:35He walked in only after I let it go.
37:39But none of that mattered now.
37:42My next home, I will decorate bit by bit.
37:45Not to wait for anyone to walk in.
37:47Only to live there freely.
37:49As myself.
37:50I closed my eyes and spoke only to myself.
37:55I will not wait again.
38:00That afternoon, Ryan waited across the street at a cafe.
38:03I went down to buy coffee and saw him.
38:06You are still here.
38:08I told you I would wait.
38:10I have nothing left to say to you.
38:13But I do.
38:14Please look at this.
38:16He handed me a thick envelope.
38:17Inside was a stack of handwritten pages.
38:20The first page was titled,
38:21What I Owe Maya.
38:23Each line named one thing he had failed to do.
38:25He had skipped our very first anniversary dinner.
38:28He refused me a scarf,
38:30then bought one for Hannah.
38:31My third decorating photo never got a reply.
38:34He would not carry one box of books for me.
38:36In all, the list ran to 47 items.
38:39How long did this take you to write?
38:42It took two days.
38:44If you listed 47 in two days,
38:47you always knew.
38:48He had no reply to that.
38:50You knew you owed me.
38:52You chose Hannah anyway.
38:55I do care, Maya.
38:58If you cared,
38:59there would not be 47 items.
39:01I stood and pushed the envelope back to him.
39:03You remember my favorite flower now.
39:05You remember my birthday now.
39:07But you are five years too late.
39:12I walked toward the door.
39:14Hannah said you're the one a man marries,
39:16and she's the one he loves.
39:18I stopped at the threat hold.
39:20She was wrong about that.
39:21You are the one who deserves to be loved.
39:25I simply put everything in the wrong order.
39:28You are right, Ryan.
39:29I do deserve to be loved.
39:30So I will choose a place where that can happen.
39:33It will not be beside you.
39:38A package arrived at my new office one morning.
39:41The sender was Ryan Hall.
39:42I hesitated, then opened the box.
39:45On top lay a folded letter in his handwriting.
39:47In it, he said he would not hold on to me.
39:51He wrote that he finally accepted it was over.
39:55After all his chasing, he was letting me go.
39:57Beneath the letter, wrapped in bubble wrap, was my journal.
40:00A card was tucked against the cover.
40:03It read,
40:03This holds four months of your work.
40:05I cannot keep it.
40:07He was giving back the home I had built.
40:09Under the journal sat the five old keychains.
40:12He had not thrown a single one away.
40:14He had kept every cheap little one.
40:16A note rested beside them.
40:18It read,
40:19These were everything you got in five years.
40:20They are yours.
40:21A co-worker glanced over at my desk.
40:23Everything okay over there, Maya?
40:25Yes.
40:26I'm fine, thank you.
40:27At the very bottom lay one more keychain.
40:30It was not from Aspen this time.
40:32It belonged to my new life, not his.
40:35A final note sat under it.
40:36It read,
40:37This is your city's landmark.
40:38I bought it at the airport.
40:40Hannah did not pick it.
40:41I chose it myself for the first time.
40:43For five years, he never once chose a gift for me.
40:46The first time he did, I was already gone.
40:48I held that small keychain in my hand for a long time.
40:55That afternoon, my mother called me.
40:57Maya Ryan came by the house today.
41:00What did he go there for?
41:02He brought your father a gift and apologized.
41:05Your father would not let him inside.
41:07Did he leave?
41:09He did.
41:11Before he left, he said one thing.
41:14What did he say?
41:16He said,
41:16I'm sorry.
41:18I did not treat her well.
41:20My mother's voice caught for a second.
41:22Maya, are you truly finished with him?
41:25Mom, he stopped wanting me first.
41:28He chose Hannah for five years.
41:30I waited five years.
41:31I am not waiting anymore.
41:33Then take good care of yourself.
41:36I will, Mom.
41:37After the call,
41:38his last messages came through.
41:40I mailed you a box.
41:42My letter is on top.
41:44I also put some other things inside.
41:46If you don't want them,
41:48just throw them away.
41:50Please be careful,
41:51living on your own.
41:52I deleted the Aspen Snow album.
41:54There will be no sixth winter.
41:55I stared at that last line for a long time.
41:58My eyes blurtied for a moment.
42:00I typed a reply,
42:01then erased it.
42:02In the end,
42:03I sent him only one word.
42:05Received.
42:07On my way home,
42:08I stopped at a flower shop.
42:10I bought a bunch of Lysochium.
42:15He never knew it was my favorite flower.
42:19Now I no longer needed him to know.
42:22At home,
42:23I put the flowers in a vase.
42:25I set the new keycard on my shelf.
42:29It was the first gift he ever truly chose.
42:34It was also the last that I would keep.
42:37My old journal still held that final line.
42:41I had hoped he would like it when he walked in.
42:46He walked in only after I let it go.
42:50But none of that mattered now.
42:52My next home,
42:53I will decorate bit by bit.
42:55Not to wait for anyone to walk in.
42:58Only to live there freely,
42:59as myself.
43:01I closed my eyes and spoke only to myself.
43:05I will not wait again.