00:13Dear Mr. Black, I'm afraid your novel is unsuitable for us at the present time, and herewith return your manuscript.
00:20I do hope you're not disheartened by this rejection.
00:23Best wishes, Barnaby Chussington Howe Foxforth.
00:28Rejection
00:35Rejection
00:55Dear Mr. Chussington Howe Foxforth, thank you for returning my manuscript and your enclosed nasty miminy-piminy little note.
01:19I am afraid your letter is most unsuitable for me at the present time,
01:23as I've just spent the entire weekend writing the novel that you have summarily rejected.
01:28I can only presume it is company policy to reject all manuscripts not submitted in ten-foot-high braille.
01:36And yes, I am aware that it is traditionally bad form to respond to any kind of criticism or rejection,
01:41but in this, as with all else, I am an innovator, therefore I may freely address you as...
01:47Piss-midget.
01:48Still there's time for you to change your views, and I think you will when we meet, and meet we
01:52most assuredly will.
01:53When I suck out your eyes and use them as stoppers for my ears to muffle the screams you'll make
01:57as I headbutt you into a fine paste.
01:59I do hope you will not be disheartened by your sudden violent death. Yours faithfully, Bernard Black.
02:16Everyone...
02:18Everyone agreed he was right to kill the publisher, and to do it with a flugelhorn was a stroke of
02:23genius.
02:24Bernard, they said. No, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, they said.
02:27Congratulations. Here, have this basket of stuff and come and stay for the weekend.
02:30I'll see you next time.
