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  • 5 weeks ago
Roland Moody is a newly divorced 42-year-old junk/antique dealer greatly anticipating freedom from matrimonial ties. Daphne Pegg, plain spinster and dedicated civil servant in her early thirties, leaves her home in Bolton after realising that her office boss will never agree to marry her. She heads for London and a clean break, but, owing to a rogue estate agent's dealings, finds that a man - Moody - also has a valid lease arrangement for the property she acquires. Unable to work out who is the squatter, they agree to be feuding partners and share, forging a very uncomfortable situation that is exacerbated by Moody's prodigious line of visiting girlfriends. With hilarious consequences.
Transcript
01:04Daphne, did you hear me when I said I'd give you a lift to the bridge?
01:07Does it interest you?
01:08Yes, it does indeed.
01:10Just please, Roland.
01:11Yes, but I'm going now, dear.
01:12Yes, it's very nice of you, Roland.
01:14Look, I'll just pick up these two crumbs.
01:17Perhaps you'd like to lay a bit of lino down before you go.
01:20You'll slap a quick coat of a moth in on the ceiling.
01:23You civil servants, you've got nothing else to do all day long
01:25except think up new ways of spending my income tax money.
01:28Look, I've got to meet this bloke in Tulse Hill by 9.30 sharp
01:31to give him a price on his escritoire.
01:33Yes, I'm just coming.
01:34Just get me the bag.
01:36With me the bag.
01:36The bag.
01:37You're worse.
01:38You're actually worse than my ex-wife.
01:39Do you know that?
01:40Well, I'm going.
01:41I'm going.
01:41Goodbye.
01:41I'm coming.
01:42I'm coming.
01:43Give me the bag.
01:45Why should I have this aggro?
01:47I'm not married to you.
01:48Just forced to share this flat with you.
01:49I'm not like you.
01:50I'm not a civil servant.
01:51If I don't work, I starve.
01:53It's all right for you.
01:54No, it's not.
01:55A big bankruptcy meeting at 10.
01:5720 million pound insurance company's gone bust.
01:59But I can't tell you who.
02:01Lipstick.
02:02She's putting on lipstick.
02:03Go on.
02:05She's putting on lipstick.
02:06Look, I stand to make a hundred.
02:08Nick her if I can buy this escritoire, right?
02:10Only the fellow's got to leave his shop by 9.30 sharp.
02:12So I tell her this.
02:12I tell her my situation.
02:14I offer her a lift.
02:15And she's putting on lipstick.
02:17Tarting herself up.
02:18Oh, good morning, George.
02:19Morning.
02:20Help yourself do anything you want.
02:22Oh, you have?
02:23Finish with these bits of bacon, have you?
02:24Yes, and there's some coffee in the larder.
02:26He knows, he knows, he doesn't need you to tell him anything.
02:29That human dustbin's been coming here for 12 weeks now to do his cello.
02:32He knows where everything is.
02:33He doesn't need any encouragement.
02:34Will you?
02:35Come on.
02:35Does his clothes look all right for the office?
02:37I mean, it's not too see-through, is it, for a meeting with the official receiver?
02:40I don't look like mutton dressed as lamb.
02:43You look cool, gracious, feminine, yet responsible.
02:49Oh, bless!
02:49I'll have to change it.
02:50Oh, no.
02:51Oh, baby.
02:51You'll be all right, then, George.
02:53Fine.
02:54Can I make a bait and butter with this bread?
02:56Yes, of course.
02:57You're all right, then.
02:58Oh, I'm all right.
03:00Yeah, but am I all right?
03:01Eh?
03:01Is anyone interested in me?
03:04Who?
03:04Who is interested in me?
03:06I've got a meat there by 9.30.
03:08I'll take this other offer.
03:09Keep your hair on, Rowley.
03:11Oh, knickers.
03:12I'm off.
03:13Oh, I just get so agitated.
03:16There's plenty of time to get to Tulse Hill.
03:18Cassie, I'm off and away.
03:19Okay.
03:20There's some cold roast potatoes in the fridge and there's some cheese in the larder,
03:22so don't go hungry.
03:23I'm coming.
03:23Oh, I'm coming.
03:24I'm coming.
03:25I'm coming.
03:26I'm coming.
03:26Keep your hair on, Rowley.
03:28Oh, come on.
03:28I'm coming.

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