Horror movies are films designed to evoke fear, suspense, and tension through stories involving monsters, ghosts, serial killers, demons, supernatural creatures, or unexplained events. The genre includes many subgenres such as slasher, paranormal, zombie, psychological thriller, found footage, and survival horror, featuring both timeless classics and modern productions that have shaped the history of horror cinema.
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FunTranscript
00:00:24You
00:00:30Believe nothing you hear
00:00:31And only half of what you see
00:00:35That was the great Edgar Allan Poe
00:00:38And his words couldn't be more true
00:00:41Especially now
00:00:42Good evening everyone
00:00:44And welcome to your live podcast guide
00:00:47Into the unknown
00:00:49Are you ready to take a journey with me
00:00:51Into the nighttime world?
00:01:04You
00:01:07You
00:01:11You
00:01:12You
00:01:12You
00:01:15You
00:01:16You
00:02:30As always, I have some great stories to share with you to help us pass the time.
00:02:35The first is about an ad in the back page classifieds for, well, you'll just have to hear for yourself.
00:02:43And then a few on the subject of eternal life.
00:02:46That's right, my personal favorite, vampires.
00:02:51Before I get to the stories, I'd like to start the night by addressing some of the feedback and calls
00:02:56from last week's show.
00:02:58One on the concept of the undead.
00:03:02Specifically, the supernatural.
00:03:04I started this podcast to look at the stranger, more frightening side of life.
00:03:10The things hidden by the light of day.
00:03:13There's a reason why we fret at night.
00:03:15Why fear comes to us as we're lying in bed waiting for sleep.
00:03:20Because sleep is the closest thing to death that life has to offer us.
00:03:25I believe that every time we sleep, we're experiencing a little death.
00:03:29We shut down and our souls leave our bodies.
00:03:33For where?
00:03:35I don't know.
00:03:36But you've told me of your out-of-body experiences.
00:03:39And let me tell you, I think of death all the time.
00:03:46I don't want to die.
00:03:48I don't think anyone does.
00:03:50Perhaps a few of you don't want to live anymore, but how could anyone want death without really knowing what
00:03:56that means?
00:03:58Whether it's a quick death or one from old age, painless or not, the issue for me is nothing.
00:04:07I'm not worried about heaven or hell.
00:04:10Either would be fine, I suppose.
00:04:11But what if there's just nothing?
00:04:17A few years ago, I had to be put under for a procedure.
00:04:20They used some great drugs.
00:04:22One minute I was awake, then they pumped that shit into me, and the next thing I know, I'm waking
00:04:27up.
00:04:27It was all over.
00:04:30And in between, there was nothing.
00:04:34I don't recall any dreams.
00:04:36I don't remember anything positive or negative.
00:04:39It's just nothing.
00:04:45I see some of you want to talk about this.
00:04:48Just hold tight for a moment.
00:04:51What if there is no soul?
00:04:55What if your brain is like a hard drive, except that when you turn the power off, the drive goes
00:05:01dead?
00:05:03Everything it has on it, all those pictures, videos, sounds, music, experiences, are just gone.
00:05:12And there's nothing.
00:05:15That is what I fear most.
00:05:19That is what keeps me up at night.
00:05:24Now, for some of you, I suppose this might sound like a real vacation.
00:05:29My mother, may she rest in peace, worked in a nursing home, and a real shitty one at that.
00:05:35Some of the stories she told me about that place would make you question human decency.
00:05:41Some would make your skin crawl.
00:05:44But one in particular stuck in my memory.
00:05:48There was a woman there in her 90s, and this was several years ago, mind you.
00:05:54She was physically healthy for her age, but her mind had lost touch with reality.
00:05:59She spent most of her waking hours screaming.
00:06:02Just terrified and screaming all the time.
00:06:06Even the doctors were unable to find any answers, and they ultimately gave up on this poor woman.
00:06:12But my mother refused to give up, and tried to comfort her however she could.
00:06:18One night, my mother sat up holding this poor woman's hand, and suddenly, she went quiet.
00:06:25Her eyes were glued to a spot on the ceiling, a look of pure terror on her face.
00:06:31My mother called out to her, but the woman never acknowledged that she was there.
00:06:37Suddenly, the faintest whisper.
00:06:42If the gas chamber doesn't get you, they'll shoot you dead.
00:06:50You see, the woman was a Holocaust survivor, reliving her time in the camp.
00:06:55The nightmares she lived through were the only thing left in her head,
00:06:59and it was a 24-hour-a-day horror movie.
00:07:04Eternal life would be a curse if it was anything like what that woman was experiencing.
00:07:09I'm sure she would have gladly traded in those days for a blank hard drive.
00:07:14What do you think?
00:07:16If you could live forever, would you want to?
00:07:21Let's take a call.
00:07:26The lines are open, so give me a ring if you'd like to chat.
00:07:38We have a call.
00:07:42This is Nada, and you're on the nighttime world.
00:07:48I'm being made to call you.
00:07:50Okay, so I take it you're not a big fan of the show?
00:07:53I want to die.
00:07:56All right.
00:07:58One vote for not wanting eternal life, albeit a strange one.
00:08:01Thank you for calling.
00:08:02Listen.
00:08:02Listen, she is making me call you.
00:08:06Who is making you call me?
00:08:09This isn't a story.
00:08:11This is for real.
00:08:12So you listen, and you listen carefully.
00:08:15She's standing right here, and she's going to talk to you when it's time.
00:08:21Are you in danger?
00:08:23Is she going to hurt you?
00:08:24She won't let me die.
00:08:27And this is a problem?
00:08:28A month ago, I placed an ad on a website for someone to kill me, and record it on video.
00:08:37Why would you do that?
00:08:39Listen.
00:08:40She answered the ad.
00:08:45Okay.
00:08:46I'll bite.
00:08:48Put her on.
00:08:49Not yet.
00:08:51She wants me to tell you why she answered the ad.
00:08:55Why would anyone answer an ad like that?
00:08:59It's more like a very bloody assisted suicide.
00:09:03But this girl that answered, she's not human.
00:09:07Okay.
00:09:08I don't think I can help you, and I have to take another call now.
00:09:11She says that you don't have any other calls.
00:09:14She says that she is controlling your lines, and that I'm the only person who can call in right now.
00:09:22Regardless, I have a show to do.
00:09:24So best of luck to you, sir.
00:09:30Well, I certainly hope that I'll be getting some calls soon, but in the meantime, let's get into our first
00:09:36story.
00:09:37It's called The Back Page, and it takes us back to a time not so long ago, when there was
00:09:43something called newspapers.
00:09:47When I found out that the two chicks were actually two boys.
00:09:54Woo!
00:09:56No.
00:09:59Shane.
00:10:00Come on.
00:10:01Dude, I'm so fucking bad at this.
00:10:02Let's just go sit at the bar.
00:10:04Bad at what?
00:10:04I literally just smiled at that girl, and she showed me like I was a leper.
00:10:08Oh, come on, Paul.
00:10:09You just gotta loosen up.
00:10:11And how do you expect to meet somebody when you're staring at your lame-ass light beer all night?
00:10:14You gotta turn around and face your fucking opponent.
00:10:17And so what if some chick thinks you're a leopard, you know?
00:10:19Leopard.
00:10:20What?
00:10:21A leper is someone with leprosy.
00:10:22It's like a skin disease.
00:10:24You said leopard, which is a cat.
00:10:26You got a cat?
00:10:27No.
00:10:27No, dude.
00:10:28A leopard is a cat.
00:10:29What I'm trying to tell you is that girl's-
00:10:31Oh, my God, dude.
00:10:31I don't even give a fuck about the words coming out of your mouth right now.
00:10:35What's up, Catalina?
00:10:35Shane, hi.
00:10:37There's like a hundred hot girls here, dude.
00:10:38One of them's bound to be into this hobo look you got going on these days.
00:10:42It's all a numbers game, man.
00:10:43It's about presenting yourself to as many women as physically possible.
00:10:47And when I say physically, you know I mean like physically, you know?
00:10:50Yeah, I know what you mean.
00:10:51You don't need to mime boobs.
00:10:53Oh, I'm glad you have a vague memory of what boobs look like.
00:10:55Fuck you.
00:10:56Fuck me?
00:10:57Sorry, I think this chick's got dibs on my deck for the night.
00:11:00Yeah, she seems real into you.
00:11:02Dude, I don't care if she's dumb as fuck.
00:11:05What I care about is she has a sister and I think if we pay her to her-
00:11:08Hold on, wait.
00:11:09You think her sister would be into me?
00:11:11You?
00:11:12Yeah.
00:11:16Dude, no.
00:11:17No, you didn't let me finish.
00:11:18I'm saying I think I can fuck them both.
00:11:22All right, fine.
00:11:23I'll ask.
00:11:26Hey, uh, you think your sister would be in the pool?
00:11:30Um...
00:11:30Exactly.
00:11:31Sorry, it didn't work out, bro.
00:11:34I'm just out of practice.
00:11:35I mean, it's been six months since Emily and I-
00:11:38Tell me to not just fucking say that horrible word.
00:11:40What's the first commandment?
00:11:42I know, I know.
00:11:43No, say it!
00:11:44I'm not allowed to say that evil-
00:11:45No, say it like we chiseled it into goddamn stone!
00:11:48Stone!
00:11:48We wrote a sharpie on a pizza box!
00:11:50It was symbolism, you piece of shit!
00:11:51Now say it!
00:11:53All right.
00:11:54Thou shalt not say thy evil swine's name aloud, for she hath ruined thine life.
00:11:59Exactly.
00:11:59And what's the second commandment?
00:12:02Yeah, pussy.
00:12:03Amen.
00:12:03Now, peace be with you.
00:12:05Uh, go get him, tiger.
00:12:06Come on, Shane.
00:12:07I need your help.
00:12:09I mean, I'm rusty.
00:12:10In fact, I'm pretty much an out-of-shape ball of rust.
00:12:13Now, now you, you, my friend, are a well-oiled machine.
00:12:18If there's a hundred hot girls here, you've probably banged 95 of them.
00:12:2195?
00:12:22No.
00:12:23Uh, well, uh, are we counting mouth stuff?
00:12:28Because if we count mouth stuff, I might be pretty close, actually.
00:12:31And I also believe I finger-blasted this, uh, bartender,
00:12:35which might explain why I can't get a fucking drink to save my life tonight!
00:12:40Oh, hey, yeah, very nice.
00:12:42Very nice.
00:12:43Same finger I used on you, Matt.
00:12:47All right, dude, I'm sorry.
00:12:48Sorry.
00:12:49You know, you just need something to get you back into the swing of things, you know?
00:12:53Like, I got it, dude.
00:12:57You need a fucking massage.
00:13:00You want me to have a spa day?
00:13:03What the hell are you talking about?
00:13:04No, I'm talking about a fucking massage.
00:13:07Like, one where you have sex with a person?
00:13:09Like, uh, like a ma's fuck?
00:13:12No, that's dumb.
00:13:13That's dumb.
00:13:14Like, uh, like a fuck-son?
00:13:19You, my friend, need a fuck-sage.
00:13:24Yeah, thanks, but I'm not trying to go to jail.
00:13:26Oh, my God, Paul, you're not going to go to jail, you nerd.
00:13:29There's a thing out there, it's called the internet, and on it you can do a lot of stuff, okay?
00:13:33It won't make you as handsome and awesome and hugely downed as me, but it will definitely help you find
00:13:40a site to get your dick sucked.
00:13:43I don't know, man.
00:13:46Relax, okay?
00:13:47I've done it a couple times.
00:13:48I know what sites are safe and discreet.
00:13:51You're definitely not going to get a rest.
00:13:52Besides, Paul, look at me.
00:13:55You need this.
00:13:58I just don't think I've completely hit rock bottom.
00:14:02Hey, fight!
00:14:04Um, back at ya.
00:14:07Is anyone sitting here?
00:14:08No, no, uh, all yours.
00:14:10Go ahead.
00:14:11Go, please.
00:14:17So, I'm, I'm Paul.
00:14:20Casey.
00:14:21Tight.
00:14:21Super tight.
00:14:23I've always dug boys' names on girls.
00:14:25Sorry, what?
00:14:26What the fuck are you saying?
00:14:28I don't fucking know.
00:14:31So, I'm, I'm Paul, by the way.
00:14:34Still Casey.
00:14:35Yeah, still tight.
00:14:38So, uh, it's my mom's birthday coming up.
00:14:45Happy birthday to your mom.
00:14:47Thanks.
00:14:48That's, that's really nice of you.
00:14:49I'm gonna, I'm gonna text her that you, that you said that.
00:14:53Oh, my phone's dead.
00:14:54Can I borrow yours?
00:14:56No, um, I don't, like, give my phone.
00:14:58Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
00:14:59Random people I just met.
00:15:01Like, yeah, yeah, totally.
00:15:02No, no, I get that.
00:15:03Um, so do you, uh,
00:15:06live in the, in the area?
00:15:08No, actually, I just moved from New York.
00:15:10Oh, yeah.
00:15:11New York?
00:15:12I, I've never understood the whole big apple thing.
00:15:14I mean, the city doesn't look like an apple.
00:15:16Do you guys just, just walk around eating apples?
00:15:19Oh, he's quietly.
00:15:20Hey, is this guy bothering you?
00:15:22No.
00:15:25All right, give me the names of those fucking websites.
00:15:27All right, Paul's gonna get his dick sucked tonight.
00:15:31Who's Paul?
00:15:46Hard day at the office?
00:15:48Need to blow off some steam?
00:15:49Come, of course she spelled it that way,
00:15:51to my private studio and allow my soothing touch
00:15:54to jerk your troubles away.
00:15:56Well, now she's not even being subtle
00:15:58about the fact that she jacks off dudes.
00:16:00In-call only, 300 rows donation.
00:16:26Whoa, why are you yelling?
00:16:31Feeling lonely, experience a sensual full-body massage
00:16:34for me, Kate.
00:16:37No Croatians, Vietnamese.
00:16:40That's, that's very specific.
00:16:43I don't, I'm already supporting prostitution.
00:16:45I don't want to support racist prostitution.
00:16:58Shit.
00:16:59Shit.
00:17:22total relaxation allow me to take your body to total relaxation
00:17:27price negotiable will come to you
00:17:30Lilith
00:17:48oh thank god
00:17:50that was stupid
00:17:51you don't actually want to buy a prostitute
00:17:58what do I say
00:18:00what do I say
00:18:01fuck
00:18:01uh hello
00:18:03hi Lilith how's it going
00:18:05ah yes
00:18:07oh would you like to touch my penis for $78
00:18:10yes I do know that's an offensively small amount of money to offer for your services
00:18:14oh you're sending your pimp to stab me in the throat right now
00:18:17sounds great
00:18:17I'll leave the porch light on for him
00:18:21fuck
00:18:22fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
00:18:23hello there
00:18:24you call me
00:18:27no
00:18:29you sure about that
00:18:33second call
00:18:36yes I called you
00:18:38I want total relaxation
00:18:41well okay
00:18:43where do you live
00:18:44616 Hanover Lane
00:18:46I'll be there in 20
00:19:02all right
00:19:0420 minutes
00:19:05I can just rest my eyes
00:19:30fuck
00:19:32fuck
00:19:40hey who's there
00:19:43who the fuck is there
00:19:46it's Lilith
00:19:47who
00:19:49you called me
00:19:53the ad in the paper
00:19:56oh I think you have the wrong
00:20:00the wrong
00:20:01the wrong
00:20:01the wrong nothing
00:20:02you're in the right place
00:20:03well good
00:20:04glad I still know how to read
00:20:06I'm sorry
00:20:07I fell asleep
00:20:08and I had no idea what was going on
00:20:09and then honestly
00:20:10I'm still kind of drunk
00:20:10and I stubbed my toe on the table
00:20:11no worries
00:20:12I'm over it
00:20:14and if I hadn't heard you whimper
00:20:16like a little girl
00:20:17I'd probably be driving home right now
00:20:19and not looking at your cute brown eyes
00:20:25so are your neighbors cool with us doing this on the porch
00:20:30or should we maybe go inside your house
00:20:32oh yeah of course
00:20:43so I'm Paul
00:20:46Lilith
00:20:47tight
00:20:47super
00:20:50so do you come here often
00:20:51to your house
00:20:55yeah
00:20:55no
00:20:58alright
00:20:58good point
00:20:59good point
00:21:00makes sense
00:21:01good point
00:21:02so are you like doing this to pay for college
00:21:04or what
00:21:05I'm not answering stupid questions
00:21:08okay
00:21:08Lilith's a pretty cool name
00:21:10is that like your real name
00:21:11try again
00:21:12uh okay
00:21:13uh
00:21:14how long have you been doing this
00:21:16I don't know
00:21:17what year is it
00:21:18what
00:21:19a while
00:21:20longer than I feel like talking about
00:21:22oh
00:21:23uh
00:21:24I'm sorry
00:21:25it's okay
00:21:26I know you mean well
00:21:28you people always mean well
00:21:31do you not like doing this?
00:21:33yes and no
00:21:35the job is kind of a necessary evil though
00:21:39hey
00:21:39do you want to go to your bedroom?
00:21:42um
00:21:43well
00:21:45I mean can't we just kind of hang out and talk first
00:21:47you know
00:21:48chit chat
00:21:50yeah sure
00:21:55part six is better
00:21:57well yeah but
00:21:58this one has the cooler poster
00:22:01you know I never expected my uh
00:22:04masseuse
00:22:04what should I call your job?
00:22:05call me whatever you want
00:22:08call girl
00:22:10hooker
00:22:11lady of the night
00:22:14just don't call me whore
00:22:15that word is so deuteronomy
00:22:17okay well
00:22:18I never expected a beautiful
00:22:21woman
00:22:22like yourself
00:22:23to be so into horror movies
00:22:25do you want to watch a movie?
00:22:29did you really invite me over here for a movie?
00:22:33you know
00:22:35by now
00:22:36most guys
00:22:37would be begging me
00:22:40to tear them apart
00:22:43I guess I'm not most guys
00:22:46that's okay
00:22:47we'll go at your speed
00:22:49but at some point
00:22:50I'm gonna need to get what I came here for
00:22:58these are cute
00:22:59are you sure you're old enough to have a girl over?
00:23:02hey I'm 24
00:23:04okay
00:23:05but if your parents come home soon
00:23:07I don't want to have to explain to them what I'm doing to their little boy
00:23:11okay
00:23:13first off
00:23:14every inch of this sprawling 900 square foot estate is all mine
00:23:18no parents
00:23:19no roommate
00:23:19and no girlfriend
00:23:21secondly
00:23:22those action figures are worth more than my car
00:23:24in fact
00:23:25depending on how things go tonight
00:23:26I might wind up having to pay you with
00:23:29one of them
00:23:30ham
00:23:50I'm the best
00:23:51what are you saying is that
00:23:57we may be
00:23:57I'm not even
00:23:57we'reял
00:23:57효
00:23:57how if they get
00:24:03Do you really think I'm only worth one of those toys?
00:24:10Come on, let's do this.
00:24:15Yeah, definitely.
00:24:29What's in this thing? Because I should probably say this right now, if it's sex toys, I really don't want
00:24:35anything inside of me.
00:24:36It's my massage table. Is this your bedroom?
00:24:41Yeah.
00:24:45You sleep on an air mattress?
00:24:48Well, my ex took a lot of stuff when she moved out, so I'm currently in between mattresses.
00:24:54That's depressing.
00:24:56Agreed.
00:24:57Should we go back to the living room?
00:25:04I could have just deflated it!
00:25:09I don't want to do it downstairs. I want to do it in here.
00:25:17You don't want your neighbors hearing us.
00:25:20You know, things start to get a little crazy.
00:25:24Yeah, I think I want to get crazy.
00:25:27Oh, do you?
00:25:30Yeah.
00:25:39Great! Now help me set up this table.
00:25:51What the fuck?
00:25:53Let's get you out of these clothes.
00:25:55Wait, wait, wait.
00:25:57I need to say something first.
00:26:00I just went through a really rough breakup and I've kind of let myself go.
00:26:04Like not, I need a crane to get myself out the door and let myself go, but I should definitely
00:26:08not be getting touched by a woman like you.
00:26:10I mean, at my physical peak, I was a seven at best, and right now I'm a solid five and
00:26:14a quarter, which I'm okay with.
00:26:16I really am, but you, you, you're a goddess.
00:26:20I mean, you're basically the most gorgeous woman who's ever talked to me, let alone laid her hands on me.
00:26:24And just to be clear, I'm not delusional.
00:26:26I know this isn't going to be some pretty woman type scenario where I woo you into falling in love
00:26:30with me,
00:26:30because let's be honest, I'm no Richard Gere.
00:26:33In fact, if anything, I'm more of a Richard Dreyfuss, and that movie would have never worked with Dreyfuss.
00:26:39Okay.
00:26:41Look, I know the only reason you're here is because I'm paying you to be here.
00:26:46But, thank you.
00:26:49I need this.
00:26:51And I really hope that I don't disappoint you.
00:26:58I'm not a goddess.
00:27:01They'd be pretty pissed off at the comparison.
00:27:05Paul, don't worry about disappointing me.
00:27:08You seem like a great guy.
00:27:11In fact, kinda wish we'd met under different circumstances.
00:27:16But it was meant to be.
00:27:19We're here.
00:27:21Tonight.
00:27:22Alone.
00:27:24And I can sense your sadness and your loneliness.
00:27:28But I'm gonna make it all go away.
00:27:31I don't care about the outside.
00:27:36This...
00:27:37This is just flesh.
00:27:39It's what's under the flesh that I desire.
00:27:43I don't care.
00:27:56This is eating.
00:27:58It's just flesh.
00:28:00This is yes.
00:28:01The whole thing is for you.
00:28:06It's just flesh.
00:28:07It's just flesh.
00:28:19It's time to relax.
00:28:38Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:29:13Be careful about this.
00:29:17Shh, just relax.
00:29:21And I'll go.
00:29:39Oh, oh, oh.
00:30:33What are you doing to me?
00:30:37Relax.
00:30:40Why can't I feel anything?
00:30:47I said relax.
00:30:59What are you?
00:31:01No!
00:31:02Ah!
00:31:03Ah!
00:31:05Ah!
00:31:14Ah!
00:31:17Ah!
00:31:22Ah!
00:31:25Ah!
00:31:39Ah!
00:31:41Hey.
00:31:44Hey!
00:31:55Whoa!
00:31:56Whoa!
00:31:57Shit!
00:31:57Whoa!
00:31:58What the fuck?
00:31:59What?
00:32:00Hey.
00:32:01Time to go home.
00:32:02Okay.
00:32:03Okay.
00:32:04Okay.
00:32:05All right.
00:32:05I'm going.
00:32:06I'm going.
00:32:06I'm out the door.
00:32:07Hang on.
00:32:08Hey, wait a minute.
00:32:10Catalina?
00:32:12Catalina, where are you at?
00:32:13Where are you at, girl?
00:32:14Dude.
00:32:16Dude.
00:32:16That chick left like three hours ago when she went to the bathroom and you tried to make
00:32:19out with her sister.
00:32:20Whatever.
00:32:21Whatever.
00:32:21Your sister's hotter anyway.
00:32:22Fine.
00:32:23You're sad.
00:32:24And I don't care.
00:32:27Time to go.
00:32:27Well, dude.
00:32:29I can't drive.
00:32:30I'm fucking wasted.
00:32:32Yeah, I know.
00:32:33And I hope that there's ice on all of the roads.
00:32:36What?
00:32:38That is so mean.
00:32:40I don't care.
00:32:41Come on.
00:32:42Well, you know what this is.
00:32:45You over served me.
00:32:47Look at all that.
00:32:49You're a criminal.
00:32:51Yeah.
00:32:51Look away, law breaker.
00:32:53Look away from this crime scene that you have committed.
00:32:58So you know what has to happen now?
00:33:00You need to take me home.
00:33:02No.
00:33:02Okay.
00:33:03You need to take me to a home.
00:33:06Preferably your home.
00:33:08You know?
00:33:08Did I tell you how sexy you're looking tonight?
00:33:10I've been looking at you all night.
00:33:13Just oogling.
00:33:14Wow.
00:33:15Look at that.
00:33:16Wowza.
00:33:18Just thinking of that time, remember?
00:33:20It was you and me in the storage shed.
00:33:23Ah, gross.
00:33:25No.
00:33:25You're right.
00:33:26That was pretty gross.
00:33:29Look.
00:33:30I'll take you to Paul's house if you promise not to touch me.
00:33:38Deal.
00:33:43Hello?
00:33:45Paul?
00:33:47You home?
00:33:48Cause I am.
00:33:51Car was too drunk to drive and that mean bartender lady, she, uh, said that my place was too
00:33:58far so, uh, here I am.
00:34:05What are you, too broke to afford light bulbs?
00:34:08What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:34:10What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:34:24Oh.
00:34:25Paul?
00:34:27I'm taking the last beer.
00:34:30We'll get more in the morning.
00:34:31So, uh, like, don't be a pussy about it.
00:34:44Alright, Paul.
00:34:45Last chance.
00:34:46I'm coming up.
00:34:47You better not be naked, dude.
00:34:50I've had a weird enough night as it is and I don't think I could stand seeing your dick
00:34:54right now.
00:34:59Oh.
00:35:01Are these panties, dude?
00:35:04Are you serious?
00:35:05Did you get with one of those massage chicks?
00:35:07Oh, I can't believe you did it.
00:35:10Huh?
00:35:14What the fuck?
00:35:22What the fuck is this?
00:35:29Oh, jeez.
00:35:32Oh, fuck me.
00:35:37Not the happy ending one would expect.
00:35:42Oh, I see I have a caller who would like to discuss this tale.
00:35:49This is Nada, and you're on the nighttime world.
00:35:57Is someone there?
00:36:02Sorry.
00:36:03I was eating.
00:36:05So you just hang up on people who call you in distress?
00:36:09Who is this?
00:36:12The woman who answered this guy's ad to kill him.
00:36:17Don't hang up on me.
00:36:19Why shouldn't I?
00:36:21You talk about it, but I live in the nighttime world.
00:36:27I've listened to you for quite some time,
00:36:29and I thought tonight was the perfect night
00:36:33to finally call in and meet.
00:36:37All right.
00:36:38Uh, what about the other guy?
00:36:41The one who called earlier?
00:36:42Is he there with you?
00:36:44She's... she's not gonna kill me.
00:36:47She's... she's gonna let me...
00:36:49She's gonna let me live...
00:36:51forever.
00:36:53I see.
00:36:55Let me describe the scene here for you and your listeners.
00:36:59How's that?
00:37:00I'd rather you didn't.
00:37:02He's naked.
00:37:04Very attractive.
00:37:06Nice abs.
00:37:08Shaved.
00:37:10Even his cock and balls.
00:37:12This is not a sex line.
00:37:14A swimmer's body, I would say.
00:37:17Are you?
00:37:19Yes.
00:37:21Can we at least get to the part where this guy's gonna live forever?
00:37:24We'll get there.
00:37:26But first...
00:37:27I'm going to bite his cock and balls off live on your show.
00:37:31For fuck's sake.
00:37:34Vampires are dead below the waist.
00:37:43Okay, good.
00:37:45Well, I'm sorry to everyone for that.
00:37:48To anyone out there who thinks that they're going to call in here and hijack my show...
00:37:53Just take your patronage elsewhere.
00:37:59I believe we got disconnected.
00:38:02How are you doing this?
00:38:05You never had a vampire call into your show before?
00:38:10Let me tell your listeners my story.
00:38:13I don't seem to have much of a choice in the matter.
00:38:16This guy here?
00:38:18He's very much alive to his dismay.
00:38:22You know that's why he's crying, right?
00:38:25Oh, it's not because I orally castrated him.
00:38:28Right.
00:38:28It's because you're a vampire.
00:38:31And you've turned him into a vampire.
00:38:33We get it.
00:38:34Tell him what you wanted me to do.
00:38:38Fl-fl-flamey.
00:38:40What?
00:38:41He's starting to fade.
00:38:43Flay.
00:38:44This crazy motherfucker wanted me to start peeling off his skin.
00:38:49Had all the tools to basically dissect him bit by bit.
00:38:53And record it.
00:38:55Can you believe that?
00:38:57No.
00:38:58Actually, I don't.
00:38:59I answered his ad because I am tired of hearing people say they want to die.
00:39:06And this guy?
00:39:08It's perhaps the grossest cry for attention I have seen in a very long time.
00:39:15It's the second grossest call for attention I've seen in a long time.
00:39:18You have a vampire story. Did I hear right?
00:39:21Yes, I do.
00:39:22Tell it.
00:39:24Keep me company, Troy.
00:39:25Oops. Sorry.
00:39:27Nada.
00:39:30Tell them like you do and maybe I'll take the fear away that keeps you up at night.
00:39:34Is that a threat?
00:39:37Tell me a story.
00:39:42Well, I'm afraid we may have been hacked.
00:39:46I don't know how many people are watching or listening right now, but...
00:39:52The show must go on.
00:39:56And so, I'd like to tell you about Scarlet.
00:40:05Is that her?
00:40:13You should move now then.
00:40:16Hey.
00:40:17You gonna move?
00:40:18Give him a minute.
00:40:21Craig.
00:40:22Hold on.
00:40:29Sorry.
00:40:30She's gonna tear me apart.
00:40:32I can do this.
00:40:33No.
00:40:34Why not?
00:40:35She'll slaughter you.
00:40:36Pray.
00:40:39Do you ever wonder how long she's been around?
00:40:42How many people like me she's off?
00:40:44She has gone.
00:40:44I've a better...
00:40:45Shh.
00:40:48Finish your sentence.
00:40:51You can either take action or you can wait for another little Gregory.
00:41:00Look, man.
00:41:03You're the most affected out of all of us.
00:41:06And that makes you more breakable.
00:41:09She's already expecting me.
00:41:11I can do it right there in the street.
00:41:12No you won't.
00:41:13You sit there and shut up till it's over.
00:41:15Stop!
00:41:16Then what are you waiting for?
00:41:17Calm down.
00:41:21One thing at a time.
00:41:24One thing at a time.
00:41:35Garlic water.
00:41:41Good luck, man.
00:41:44Good luck, man.
00:41:48Good luck, man.
00:42:23Craig!
00:42:31So good to finally meet in person.
00:42:34You look a lot handsomer in real life.
00:42:40You look a lot...
00:42:41Do you want to go back to mine?
00:42:44Yeah, sure.
00:42:48Are you shy?
00:42:49No.
00:42:51I'm shy too.
00:43:14I'm shy.
00:43:16I'm shy.
00:43:18I'm shy.
00:43:29I'm shy.
00:43:49I'm shy.
00:43:52I'm shy.
00:43:53I'm shy.
00:44:04What are you doing?
00:44:06Has your heart always been in that fast?
00:44:11No.
00:44:13Yeah.
00:44:14I don't know.
00:44:18You might want to get that checked out.
00:44:21Never noticed before.
00:44:23No one's...
00:44:44I'm shy.
00:44:46I'm shy.
00:44:48I'm shy.
00:44:50Why?
00:44:51Why?
00:44:51What?
00:44:54Why are you so nervous?
00:44:56I'm not.
00:44:58You are.
00:45:02It's okay.
00:45:04Just relax.
00:45:06I'm sorry.
00:45:07Seriously.
00:45:08That's it.
00:45:08That's it.
00:45:09I-
00:45:09Uh-
00:45:14Shh.
00:45:24You okay?
00:45:26I'm sorry.
00:45:29I'm sorry.
00:45:35You okay?
00:46:00You okay?
00:46:46You okay?
00:47:22I don't think this is gonna work.
00:47:32Don't try me!
00:47:41By the end of tonight, you would beg me to kill you!
00:47:47I have a driver!
00:47:50This is...
00:48:12I have a driver!
00:48:21I have a driver!
00:48:21I have a driver!
00:48:42I have a driver!
00:49:30I have a driver!
00:49:40I have a driver!
00:50:10I have a driver!
00:50:21I have a driver!
00:50:49I am a driver!
00:50:58I have a driver!
00:51:00Does that kill you?
00:51:02Oh, you want to interview this vampire?
00:51:04Let me guess.
00:51:06Your next question is,
00:51:08how old am I?
00:51:12I asked because if sunlight kills you,
00:51:14then dead boy walking can just walk outside in the morning and kill himself.
00:51:19You will not want to do that.
00:51:21It's not the same kind of death.
00:51:24It's way worse.
00:51:26And I'm 153,
00:51:28but I don't look a day over 18.
00:51:31Born, died, and reborn in the great state of Ohio.
00:51:35Go, Puckeyes.
00:51:37And now, you sleep in a coffin.
00:51:39Are you kidding me, dude?
00:51:41Would you sleep in a coffin?
00:51:43No, I have a great apartment with heavy curtains
00:51:45and a king-sized bed with memory foam.
00:51:49So sunlight does kill you, then.
00:51:53There must be something else, too.
00:51:55Otherwise, your kind would be overrunning the streets.
00:51:58Let me tell you about my kind.
00:52:02We are less than you think,
00:52:05but more than you know.
00:52:08Unlike the movies and the mortals that create them,
00:52:12we understand population control.
00:52:16Vampires just don't go around biting people and making more vampires.
00:52:21Some of our subjects are stumped.
00:52:24Look, if vampires just made a vampire with every bite,
00:52:28exponentially, we would overpopulate the Earth in no time,
00:52:31wiping out our own food supply.
00:52:34We're actually an organized race,
00:52:36and frankly, have learned to cultivate a symbiotic relationship with humans.
00:52:41Imagine that.
00:52:42What about this guy?
00:52:44You turned him.
00:52:46Oh.
00:52:46There is something special planned for him.
00:52:50He is not ever going to feed.
00:52:52Ever.
00:52:54I'm going to have him sealed up somewhere,
00:52:58almost cask of Amontillado-like.
00:53:01Ever read that Edgar Allen Poe story?
00:53:04Oh, I love it.
00:53:07Seal him in and let him hunger for eternity,
00:53:09because he doesn't respect the beauty of life.
00:53:14When I was alive, I had cancer.
00:53:19I was the oldest daughter in my family of 12.
00:53:22My father died and my mother needed me.
00:53:25So when I fell ill, I wanted more life, more time,
00:53:30and then one night my prayers were answered and I was turned.
00:53:36And guess what?
00:53:37I didn't go on a bloodthirsty rampage across the countryside.
00:53:43No vampire hunters came for me.
00:53:46I fed on livestock at first.
00:53:49And then vagrants and backwoods yokels.
00:53:52It never took too much.
00:53:55Not enough to turn them.
00:53:57Just enough to make them feel tired all the time.
00:54:01I raised my siblings and I put my mother into the ground with natural causes.
00:54:07You're quite the humanitarian.
00:54:10Think what you will.
00:54:12When I hear of people who want to throw their lives away, it pisses me off.
00:54:19So that gives you the right to do whatever you want.
00:54:22To torture people.
00:54:27You wanted to live.
00:54:29And you got to live.
00:54:31This guy wants to die and you're taking that away from him.
00:54:39Tell me a story.
00:54:40Another vampire story.
00:54:42Are people able to listen?
00:54:46Nada.
00:54:47Tell me a story.
00:54:50Tell me a story.
00:54:56Tell me a story.
00:55:18You have it.
00:55:18Great words.
00:55:19And greater words have never been more true from someone that does not exist.
00:55:24My name no longer matters.
00:55:27And my blood will be my death.
00:55:32I have a sickness. A rare blood disease. I will be remembered as a hero for changing
00:55:41the world through my work. I will be remembered as a villain for the exact same. So different.
00:55:51Yet there's one thing both hero and villain share. Death. But I'm going to defy it. I'm going to cure
00:56:03it.
00:56:06Lab results number 101 show a perfect bond of my DNA and of Desmodo's rotundus. The vampire bat.
00:56:19Death. I'm going to defy it. I'm going to cure it. So in a world of heroes, in a world
00:56:30of villains, what am I?
00:56:45Eight days. Eight days with nothing. Years ago, I created a cure. Years ago, I created my curse.
00:56:58A man into myth. And like the myth, I hunger for blood.
00:57:14Clean blood. Clean blood. Not innocent blood.
00:57:22Hey, you got a light? Hi. Do you have a light?
00:57:28No.
00:57:31Was I an idiot for even asking? Are you just like every other asshole in the city?
00:57:35No.
00:57:37Is no the only word you know?
00:57:42No.
00:57:45So what? Are you on some kind of creepy night stroll? Or do you just prefer to listen to music
00:57:49from the outside?
00:57:51Music? I prefer it when someone actually sings. That is the...
00:57:57Apparently you need a crash course in good music because...
00:58:00Why are you talking to me?
00:58:02I don't know. Guy walking around alone at 1am. Seems like something you could use.
00:58:11I don't.
00:58:12Well, I do. You want to court me and go find a light for this thing?
00:58:16You shouldn't smoke. It's bad for your blood.
00:58:21Hey, I thought you said you weren't an asshole.
00:58:25A friend.
00:58:27A luxury I can't have.
00:58:31Not with the hunger.
00:59:01Nice masks.
00:59:02Thanks. Both of you. Very nice.
00:59:17Is this the guy?
00:59:20Fuck.
00:59:21Fuck.
00:59:23Fucking kidding me. No fucking way.
00:59:26Fuck.
00:59:27Hey!
00:59:29Cute coat!
00:59:33Get him!
00:59:34Okay.
00:59:40Hey!
00:59:42Do it!
01:00:02Ooh!
01:00:10Oh!
01:00:12Oh!
01:00:13Oh!
01:00:14Oh!
01:00:14Ah!
01:00:24Oh, my God.
01:00:51Oh, my God.
01:01:20Oh, my God.
01:01:24Oh, my God.
01:01:28Oh, my God.
01:01:42Oh, my God.
01:01:54Oh, my God.
01:02:19Oh, my God.
01:02:23Oh, my God.
01:02:55Oh, my God.
01:03:00Oh, my God.
01:03:00Oh, my God.
01:03:10Oh, my God.
01:03:18Oh, my God.
01:03:19Oh, my God.
01:03:27Oh, my God.
01:03:28Oh, my God.
01:03:37Oh, my God.
01:03:50Oh, see, it doesn't work on me buddy. See, I got these. Sorry. Can't hypnotize me.
01:04:10Dad gave me this knife.
01:04:13You killed a lot of undead ugly motherfuckers with this knife, pal.
01:04:19Now, I'm gonna edge to the west.
01:04:25Why won't you die?
01:04:35Here's the thing about me dying.
01:04:40It tends to happen a lot.
01:05:00I'm sorry for the blood.
01:05:08I'm sorry for the blood.
01:05:09That's okay.
01:05:10I love the carnage.
01:05:21If you could live forever, would you?
01:05:24You'll never get sick.
01:05:27You'll stop aging.
01:05:30You'll live until the sun finally goes nova and fries this globe into a cinder.
01:05:36I never thought about it that way.
01:05:38You have to consider everything.
01:05:42Can you kill to survive?
01:05:44There is the blood thing.
01:05:47Are we talking about turning me into a vampire now?
01:05:50You're not a killer.
01:05:52So you'll have to get creative.
01:05:55I'll give you an example.
01:05:57One of us that I know, she is a nurse.
01:06:00And she will nip at the terminal.
01:06:02Anemic patients, but...
01:06:04And this is the brilliant part.
01:06:06She simply helps herself to the blood supply of the hospital she works in.
01:06:11It's a pain because she has to keep moving around and she's gone to nursing school like eight times.
01:06:18But she claims that she hasn't had to kill a single mortal in over fifty years.
01:06:24Not bad, right?
01:06:26Okay.
01:06:27What does your audience think?
01:06:30This has to be good for ratings, right?
01:06:33Should they vote?
01:06:34Should Nada be turned or stay mortal?
01:06:37What do you think, Nighttime World listeners?
01:06:40How do I know that you won't seal me up in a crypt for eternity?
01:06:45Because I like you.
01:06:47You respect life.
01:06:50I think you would seize the opportunities afforded you.
01:06:54Consider the ability to pay it forward to people who can't fight like we can.
01:06:59I've killed pedophiles, serial killers, been an avenging angel for some people.
01:07:05Judge, jury and executioner.
01:07:08Spin it however you like.
01:07:10But I'm not ashamed.
01:07:12I've done some good.
01:07:14Maybe you have.
01:07:18Then how do you reconcile all the evil, terrible things that you've done with a few good deeds?
01:07:28You believe you're really talking to a vampire?
01:07:35The story.
01:07:36Yes, the last story.
01:07:38Tell me the last story, please.
01:07:41I've got to get this guy moved soon and tend to one more thing before the night shift is over.
01:07:49This story is about justice.
01:07:52Atonement.
01:07:56Is it now?
01:07:58Thrill me.
01:08:00One more story before bed, please.
01:08:04One more days.
01:08:08In the morning.
01:08:09We have to die.
01:08:10Two days.
01:08:15Two days.
01:08:17Two days.
01:08:20Two days.
01:08:21One more days.
01:08:21Two days.
01:08:22Two days.
01:08:24Two days.
01:08:31One more days.
01:08:32What the fuck?
01:08:43Hey! Hello?
01:08:47Hey! Is anybody out there?
01:08:50Quiet down.
01:08:51What is this?
01:08:52You're pulling that bullshit?
01:08:54I don't care how high you were.
01:08:56Doesn't change what you did.
01:08:58Okay, man, I...
01:09:00Officer.
01:09:02I swear.
01:09:04I didn't do anything.
01:09:05So you don't remember when you killed an innocent man?
01:09:08That doesn't ring any bells.
01:09:09A what?
01:09:11Officer Blake was a good man.
01:09:13A friend.
01:09:14And now the thug who murdered him won't even say he remembers.
01:09:20You know who does remember?
01:09:23His family.
01:09:26A little girl who's never gonna see her dad again.
01:09:29There's gotta be a mix-up here.
01:09:31I'll just call up his wife and kid and tell him it was all just a big mistake.
01:09:37Hey!
01:09:38Hey!
01:09:38Wait, wait!
01:09:42Don't I get a call or a lawyer, right?
01:09:47I would like my phone call.
01:09:50Right.
01:09:52Turn around, stick your hands through the bars, and interlock your fingers.
01:10:10Step back to the far wall.
01:10:24There's your phone call, asshole.
01:10:27Nothing that the courts could hang on you matches what you deserve.
01:10:36You know what I got doing, and then yeah!
01:11:00Not to stop playing on you.
01:11:05want another phone call i could lend you another quarter man you can't do this
01:11:15i'll press charges might be a technical error with the security footage
01:11:19our budget being what it is things like that are bound to happen
01:11:30i wouldn't get too comfortable there boy i'm afraid how'd he die
01:11:36what'd you see you tell me freak you got out of your mind on pcp or
01:11:43something nearly turned him inside out
01:11:48no i i didn't do that and i've never taken pcp bath salts pcp whatever
01:11:55still gonna say you don't remember
01:11:58no i i remember him but
01:12:02i was shot
01:12:06i got shot
01:12:12i swear that was blake's blood you were wearing
01:12:15no i swear i was shot go get the shirt it still got the bullet holes
01:12:21keep it back to me and approach the bars
01:12:23no listen to me get over here
01:12:39i burned that fucking shirt cop killer
01:12:57you want some more maybe i do
01:13:01you best calm down boy you keep pulling that squeamart bully shit
01:13:05gotta figure one day there'll be some consequences
01:13:07back the fuck up you know i didn't kill your friend blake
01:13:13but i did watch him bleed all that pretty blood
01:13:28this is blake
01:13:29outside 1302 west 3rd street
01:13:32no sign of any
01:13:37possible 217 in progress requesting backup
01:13:40backup is en route
01:13:42officers in need of assistance
01:13:44all units respond
01:13:47this is the police make yourselves known
01:14:11uninspiring as last words go
01:14:37what the fuck
01:14:49get back in that cell
01:14:51get back in that cell now
01:14:54don't make me do this boy
01:14:57get back in that cell
01:15:10fuck
01:15:11fuck
01:15:12fuck
01:15:12fuck
01:15:17I don't know.
01:15:50I'd have only taken what I needed, but they saw fit to spill all of your blood.
01:15:59It's perverse.
01:16:06But you will educate them.
01:16:08I expect.
01:16:41I'm not going to talk to you.
01:17:08I'm hungry, but I think I can do better
01:17:13than pig's blood.
01:17:21Go on, little pig.
01:17:24Go hide in your house of stone.
01:17:43Hello?
01:17:44Anyone there?
01:18:15Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who felt no obligation to share their world
01:18:23with the wolf.
01:18:27They called him big and bad and taught the other pigs to fear him and all his kind.
01:18:35They were hateful to him and threw his family in cages.
01:18:43The next part of the story, I'm sure you have heard, but you'll soon learn the true ending.
01:18:52One day, the wolf's anger became so strong that not even a horse of brick and stone could
01:19:01thwart him.
01:19:09And that brings us to the end of another episode of The Nighttime World.
01:19:14I hope that you have enjoyed our time together as much as I have.
01:19:18If so, please consider subscribing and give us a rating on the platform on which you are
01:19:25watching this.
01:19:26Thank you, and we'll see you next time on The Nighttime World.
01:19:43Hello?
01:19:44I was thinking as you told that indictment story, I've come to a decision.
01:19:50A decision about what?
01:19:52I'm not going to seal him up and starve him.
01:19:56Good.
01:19:57He has such beautiful, huge windows in his apartment.
01:20:01It's what he wanted, right?
01:20:03Why am I going to waste such a gift on him, even if it tortures him, punishes him for his
01:20:11ignorance?
01:20:12Listen, the podcast is over.
01:20:14There's nobody listening, there's nobody watching.
01:20:16Like, it's done.
01:20:19I appreciate what you tried to do tonight, but it's time to go to bed now.
01:20:26I have one more stop before bed.
01:20:30Where?
01:20:34You gonna stay on the phone all night, or let me in?
01:20:39Another gift.
01:20:40First.
01:20:45All right.
01:20:57I'm going to try and pick this up.
01:20:57All right.
01:21:07I'm gonna try.
01:21:08I'm gonna release the phone and see the phone.
01:21:09I'm gonna have to take this up.
01:21:09I'm gonna know for you.
01:21:09I'm gonna have to get the phone for you.
01:21:09You're gonna have to take this car.
01:21:10You're gonna be sick!
01:21:10You're gonna have to have a time.
01:21:10I'm gonna have to try and get it on.
01:21:37Let's change your life.
01:21:42Let's change your life.
01:22:11Let's change your life.
01:22:49Let's change your life.
01:23:13Let's change your life.
01:23:26Let's change your life.
01:23:28Let's change your life.
01:23:31Let's change your life.
01:23:39Let's change your life.
01:23:43Let's change your life.
01:23:44Let's change your life.
01:23:54Let's change your life.
01:24:00Let's change your life.
01:24:01Let's change your life.
01:24:03Let's change your life.
01:24:05Let's change your life.
01:24:36Let's change your life.
01:25:04Let's change your life.