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Transcript

00:00:00On le jour où nous nous entrons dans notre nouveau maison,

00:00:03je découvre que tous les trois habitants ont un propriétaire.

00:00:07Except que il n'y a pas de place pour moi, la fille biologique.

00:00:11Je regarde le plan de la maison que Maman a raconté dans le chat de famille.

00:00:14Je regarde le deuxième fois avant de poser la question,

00:00:17«Maman, où est ma maison ? »

00:00:20Maman a un second de temps, comme si elle a juste rappelé que j'ai besoin d'une maison, aussi.

00:00:24Tu ne dis pas que tu voulais aller de l'Université pour travailler après l'Université ?

00:00:27Une fois que tu es venu, c'est un pire de laisser votre maison empty.

00:00:29Sophie est différent.

00:00:30Her père a fait sa vie, saving votre frère.

00:00:32Et elle n'a pas de famille, elle doit avoir un bâtiment.

00:00:35Je regarde le plan de la maison encore.

00:00:36Le premier bâtiment est pour Maman et Maman.

00:00:38Le deuxième bâtiment est pour Ryan, mon frère.

00:00:40Et le plus haut-leur de l'autre bâtiment est pour Sophie.

00:00:44Ten ans à cause, Sophie's père s'est passé au jour où Ryan fell dans la rivière.

00:00:51Après ça, Sophie vient de vivre avec nous.

00:00:54Maman toujours dit que nous devons lui.

00:00:55Ryan est déjà aidé Sophie à la clôture.

00:00:58Il s'est mis en train de mettre un bâtiment.

00:01:00C'est sa couleur préférée.

00:01:02Qu'est-ce que tu penses ?

00:01:03Il va voir bien quand le soleil arrive.

00:01:06Tout va bien.

00:01:07Vous n'avez pas à travers tout ce problème.

00:01:09You've waited so long to have a room of your own.

00:01:12Of course we're going to decorate it.

00:01:13When I hear that, I glance at the floor plan again.

00:01:16Dad is unpacking boxes nearby.

00:01:18He hears us, but all he does is look over.

00:01:21The rooms have been assigned.

00:01:23Let's just leave it that way.

00:01:25We're busy unpacking today.

00:01:27Don't let this delay our progress.

00:01:28I nod and stop pursuing the matter.

00:01:32My boyfriend of three years, Ethan, is carrying a newly assembled bookshelf into Sophie's room.

00:01:38Sophie, do you want to add another shelf here ?

00:01:40You can keep your sketchbooks down below.

00:01:43Sure.

00:01:44Thank you, Ethan.

00:01:47I sit on a cardboard box in the living room, watching everyone fuss over Sophie.

00:01:51Ryan remembers her favorite color, while Ethan remembers that she loves to draw.

00:01:56Mom has even given her the room that gets the most sunlight.

00:01:59Meanwhile, my belongings are still stacked in the hallway.

00:02:02No one asks where I'm supposed to sleep.

00:02:05For ten years, when it comes to Sophie, I'm always expected to be understanding and put her first.

00:02:10This time, it isn't just my room I'm giving up.

00:02:13Sophie notices that I've been quiet.

00:02:15She looks at me.

00:02:16Erin, are you upset ?

00:02:18Mom speaks for me before I can answer.

00:02:20Why would she be upset ?

00:02:22She's going to move out of state eventually.

00:02:24She's not going to live here forever.

00:02:26Don't worry about her.

00:02:28Just choose your curtains.

00:02:29Sophie finally stops asking.

00:02:31I don't explain myself.

00:02:33After all, they've already decided that I'm leaving.

00:02:36For once, I decide something for myself.

00:02:38I pull out my phone and look at the research program Professor Lawson recommended to me.

00:02:43It was a five-year posting at New Mexico Federal Aviation.

00:02:46I stop hesitating and electronically sign the employment agreement.

00:02:51The moment I sign it, I start counting down the days until I leave.

00:02:55This time, I'm actually leaving.

00:03:07Ethan walks out of Sophie's room, his forehead covered in sweat.

00:03:11I call out to him, just like I always have.

00:03:14Ethan, you've been helping all afternoon.

00:03:16Take a break.

00:03:17He sips some water from the glass on the table, but he gazes back at Sophie's room.

00:03:23Maybe later.

00:03:24The curtain rod is a little crooked.

00:03:26I'll fix it.

00:03:27Then he heads back inside.

00:03:28He walks right past me without even looking my way.

00:03:31We've been together for three years, but he's never put this much effort into doing something for me.

00:03:36Mom calls for me from the kitchen.

00:03:38Erin, don't just sit there.

00:03:40Help Sophie change her sheets.

00:03:42The new bedding is by the door.

00:03:43I glance at my belongings stacked around the corner of the hallway.

00:03:46No one has helped me move.

00:03:48No one has even asked where they should go.

00:03:51Mom, where am I supposed to put my stuff?

00:03:53Mom simply nods toward the narrow door beside the laundry room.

00:03:58Let's just tidy up the storage room and make do with it for now.

00:04:00You're leaving eventually anyway, so you won't be staying here for long.

00:04:05I push the door open.

00:04:06The room is barely 50 square feet.

00:04:09There are cleaning supplies and boxes in a pile.

00:04:12There's no window, and the walls are still damp in places.

00:04:16There's a camping mat on the floor.

00:04:18That's going to be my bed.

00:04:19Ten years ago, when Sophie first came to live with us, Mom asked me to give up my bedroom for

00:04:24her, saying it'd only be a few days.

00:04:26But those days turned into an entire year.

00:04:29Ten years later, we're back in the same place.

00:04:32That night, Mom cooks dinner to celebrate moving in.

00:04:43Ryan keeps pushing the ribs and mac and cheese onto her plate, while Ethan sits beside her and cuts up

00:04:50her food for her.

00:04:50After dinner, I quietly finish the bread on my plate, I barely touch anything else, yet no one notices.

00:04:58After dinner, I go into the kitchen to make myself a spicy chicken sandwich.

00:05:04You won't eat any of the food I just made, but you're going to make something else?

00:05:08It's just a sandwich.

00:05:10How would Sophie feel about that?

00:05:13She's going to think she's the reason you're upset.

00:05:19I pause with the bread knife in my hand, then put the ingredients back.

00:05:26Aaron, you don't like any of this?

00:05:28I'll ask Helen to make your favorite food next time.

00:05:31She always has to make a fuss over something.

00:05:33Just ignore her.

00:05:34Ethan doesn't say anything.

00:05:36He simply keeps cutting the meat for Sophie.

00:05:39At that moment, I finally understand something.

00:05:41They haven't failed to notice me.

00:05:43They just assume I can handle everything on my own.

00:05:46I return to the storage room and close the door behind me.

00:05:51My stomach growls as I lie down on the camping mat.

00:05:55My phone is still showing the signed agreement.

00:05:57The reporting date is August 15, which means there are only 23 days to go.

00:06:02In 23 days, I'll leave this family for good,

00:06:05and it'll probably take them a long time to realize that the storage room is empty.

00:06:12On the fourth day after moving into our new home, I realized something.

00:06:16Even the storage room isn't really mine.

00:06:19During breakfast, Mom casually suggests to Dad that once I move out,

00:06:23they should knock down one of the storage room walls and turn it into a walk-in closet for Sophie.

00:06:29A girl only needs more things as she gets older.

00:06:31One closet won't be enough.

00:06:33Sure.

00:06:34When Aaron's gone, I'll have someone come measure it.

00:06:36Sophie looks embarrassed.

00:06:38Helen, you don't have to do that.

00:06:40I don't have that many clothes.

00:06:41Maybe not now.

00:06:43But I'll buy you more.

00:06:44I drink my coffee and say nothing.

00:06:47Turns out, they've already planned what will happen to the storage room after I'm gone.

00:06:51It'll belong to Sophie.

00:06:53That afternoon, Ethan shows up with two shopping bags.

00:06:56He hands the larger one to Sophie first.

00:06:59Ryan told me you like to draw, so I picked out a set of markers for you.

00:07:03They have a pretty wide range of colors.

00:07:04Try them.

00:07:05Sophie opens the box, and her eyes light up.

00:07:08There are so many colors.

00:07:10They must have cost a lot.

00:07:12As long as you like them.

00:07:13The set costs more than $200.

00:07:16Then, he hands me the smaller bag.

00:07:19It's a bag of caramel candy from the grocery store.

00:07:21It's a clearance product, the yellow discount sticker still sticking on the packaging.

00:07:25It costs less than $2.

00:07:27I grabbed these for you.

00:07:29You like sweets, right?

00:07:30I stare at the candy for a long time before looking at him.

00:07:35Ethan, I don't eat sweets.

00:07:37He looks stunned.

00:07:38I've told you that more than once.

00:07:40I like spicy food.

00:07:41My usual order is spicy chicken sandwich.

00:07:44We've been together for three years, but he doesn't seem to remember that at all.

00:07:49Ethan scratches his head, not thinking much of it.

00:07:52Give it to Sophie, then.

00:07:54Don't let it go to waste.

00:07:57I set the candy down on the coffee table and return to the storage room.

00:08:01As I close the door, I hear Sophie ask him softly.

00:08:04Ethan, is Aaron at fault?

00:08:07There's a brief silence.

00:08:08Then, I hear the plastic packaging around the markers being open and...

00:08:11This is a nice shade of blue.

00:08:13Try it.

00:08:14He doesn't even bother answering Sophie's question.

00:08:17I close the door.

00:08:18My boyfriend of three years hasn't forgotten me on purpose.

00:08:22He's simply gotten used to the idea that my likes and feelings don't matter.

00:08:28That night, I leave the storage room to get some water.

00:08:32As I pass my parents' room, I overhear Dad talking about me.

00:08:37Is Aaron okay?

00:08:38She's been acting strange ever since we moved in.

00:08:40She barely talks anymore.

00:08:42I stop outside their room.

00:08:43I actually feel a small flicker of hope.

00:08:45Dad is the first to notice that something is wrong.

00:08:48But Mom dismisses it immediately.

00:08:51There's nothing wrong with her.

00:08:52She has always been like this.

00:08:54She keeps everything to herself.

00:08:55Don't start indulging her.

00:08:57You'll just spoil her.

00:08:58Dad is silent for a few seconds before finally dropping it.

00:09:02I walk away with my glass of water.

00:09:04So someone has noticed.

00:09:06They just don't think it's worth asking about.

00:09:09Later that evening, I walk past the living room

00:09:12and notice a shopping notification pop up on Sophie's tablet.

00:09:15Mom has ordered her a vanity, a mattress, and a nightstand,

00:09:19spending more than $3,000.

00:09:22I think about the camping mat in the storage room.

00:09:25Then, I keep walking.

00:09:28Sophie probably feels a little guilty

00:09:30because a while later, she comes looking for me with a shopping bag.

00:09:34Aaron, I got you this dress.

00:09:36I saw it and thought you'd look really good in it.

00:09:37I bought it with my own money.

00:09:41I open the bag.

00:09:42It's a pink floral dress,

00:09:44almost identical to the curtains in her room.

00:09:46I never wear pink.

00:09:47I like blue.

00:09:48Still, I accept the dress.

00:09:50Thanks.

00:09:54At least Sophie still thinks of me.

00:09:56But just like everyone else,

00:09:57she doesn't really know what I actually like.

00:10:00I'm lying on the camping mat when my phone suddenly lights up.

00:10:03It's the final confirmation email from the research center.

00:10:07Miss Erin Carter,

00:10:09your employment clearance has been finalized.

00:10:11Please report to the New Mexico Federal Aviation Weather Research Center

00:10:15on your designated start date.

00:10:17A moment later,

00:10:18I receive a message from Professor Lawson.

00:10:21The team is waiting for you.

00:10:23Your data model is exactly what the project needs right now.

00:10:27I stare at her message for a long time.

00:10:30In this family,

00:10:31no one knows about the models I've built

00:10:33or what I've achieved.

00:10:34But thousands of miles away,

00:10:36there are people waiting for me

00:10:38because they believe in my abilities.

00:10:41Turns out,

00:10:42the place that truly needs me

00:10:44has never been this home.

00:10:47The 10th day after moving into our new home

00:10:49happens to be my third anniversary with Ethan.

00:10:52Two days earlier,

00:10:53I made sure to confirm our plans with him.

00:10:55He replied almost immediately

00:10:57and I actually believed

00:10:58that he wouldn't forget it this time.

00:11:01You're free this Saturday afternoon, right?

00:11:06Yes.

00:11:07I remember our plans.

00:11:09On Saturday morning,

00:11:10I dig through my suitcase

00:11:11and pull out a new cardigan.

00:11:13Then I spend a long time doing my makeup

00:11:16in front of the tiny mirror in the storage room.

00:11:19I arrive at the restaurant early

00:11:21and get a table by the window.

00:11:23I even order two drinks in advance

00:11:25and Americano for me

00:11:26and Ethan's favorite ice latte for him.

00:11:28But I wait from afternoon until evening.

00:11:31The ice in the glass melts,

00:11:32gets replaced, and melts again.

00:11:34Still, Ethan never shows up.

00:11:36He doesn't answer my calls

00:11:37or respond to my messages.

00:11:39Two and a half hours later,

00:11:41I finally receive a message from him.

00:11:43Aaron, I'm really sorry.

00:11:45Sophie suddenly wanted to go to the river

00:11:47where her father died.

00:11:48She's really upset.

00:11:50I didn't want to leave her there alone,

00:11:52so I accompanied her.

00:11:53Can we celebrate our anniversary another day?

00:11:55He sends a photo along with his message.

00:11:58In the glow of the sunset,

00:11:59Sophie stands by a river with Ethan behind her.

00:12:02One hand rests on her shoulder

00:12:04and their shadows stretch across the ground,

00:12:06almost merging into one.

00:12:07If a stranger sees that photo,

00:12:09they'll probably assume Sophie and Ethan

00:12:11are together instead.

00:12:12I stare at the photo for a long time.

00:12:15Then, I finish my coffee

00:12:17and pay for both drinks.

00:12:19That's how our third anniversary ends.

00:12:21I thought that things couldn't get any more awkward.

00:12:23But then Ethan shows up the next day.

00:12:26He's holding a large bouquet of roses.

00:12:29It's beautifully wrapped.

00:12:30The moment I see the flowers,

00:12:32my heart skips a beat.

00:12:33We were together for three years,

00:12:35but he has never given me any flowers.

00:12:38I even start to think that he's finally remembered

00:12:40what yesterday was

00:12:41and has come to make it up to me.

00:12:44But when Ethan enters the house,

00:12:46he doesn't slow down.

00:12:48Instead, he carries the roses

00:12:50straight to Sophie's room.

00:12:51I stand in the hallway,

00:12:53watching him walk away.

00:12:55An uneasy feeling settles in my stomach.

00:12:58The next moment,

00:12:59Sophie's bedroom door swings open.

00:13:04The moment Sophie's bedroom door opens,

00:13:06Ethan hands her the roses

00:13:08I've been waiting three years to receive.

00:13:09Sophie,

00:13:11you seemed pretty upset yesterday.

00:13:13I got you these flowers.

00:13:14Hopefully they'll cheer you up.

00:13:16Ethan, thank you.

00:13:18I stand in the hallway

00:13:19and watch Sophie take the roses from Ethan.

00:13:21Then I finally call his name.

00:13:23Ethan, yesterday was our third anniversary.

00:13:25He turns around, looking confused.

00:13:27Then he remembers and slaps his forehead.

00:13:29Right.

00:13:30That's what I forgot yesterday.

00:13:32I'm sorry.

00:13:32I'll make it up to you.

00:13:33But you remembered to buy her flowers.

00:13:37I just happened to pass the flower shop.

00:13:39They didn't cost much.

00:13:40I stare at him.

00:13:42Somehow that hurts even more

00:13:43than him forgetting our anniversary.

00:13:45We've been together for three years,

00:13:47yet you've never given me flowers.

00:13:48Not even once.

00:13:49The hallway falls silent.

00:13:51Ethan looks guilty for a moment,

00:13:53but it quickly fades,

00:13:54replaced by the familiar impatience

00:13:55they know too well.

00:13:56Aaron, don't be so petty.

00:13:58Sophie has been crying all afternoon

00:13:59at the river where her father died yesterday.

00:14:01What's wrong with me getting her some flowers?

00:14:03You're her family.

00:14:04Can't you be a little more understanding?

00:14:06Before I can respond,

00:14:08Ryan steps out from his room

00:14:09after hearing the commotion.

00:14:10Aaron, enough.

00:14:12Sophie's father died saving me.

00:14:14It's only right that we do

00:14:15whatever we can for her.

00:14:16Why do you always want what she has?

00:14:17They both think I want what Sophie has,

00:14:19but I've never wanted her room

00:14:21or asked my family to stop caring about her.

00:14:23All I want to know is why.

00:14:25Whenever someone has to give something up,

00:14:27I'm always the one expected to do it.

00:14:29And now,

00:14:29I'm waiting for my boyfriend

00:14:31to spare me a little attention

00:14:32after giving it all to another woman.

00:14:34I look at Ethan

00:14:35and finally ask the question

00:14:36I've been holding in for so long.

00:14:38I'm not trying to take anything from Sophie.

00:14:40I just want to know who I am to you.

00:14:42Ethan doesn't answer,

00:14:43but his silence is enough.

00:14:47After our argument that day,

00:14:49I stop asking Ethan what I mean to him.

00:14:51After all,

00:14:52there's no point asking a question

00:14:53when the other person refuses

00:14:55to give you an answer.

00:14:56A few days later,

00:14:57something happens

00:14:58that finally makes me give up for good.

00:14:59That afternoon,

00:15:00Ryan goes upstairs to take a shower,

00:15:02leaving his phone on the couch.

00:15:04I'm simply walking past

00:15:05when the screen suddenly lights up.

00:15:07A new message appears.

00:15:09Group chat.

00:15:10Sophie's family.

00:15:11I stare at the chat for a few seconds.

00:15:13That's when I realize

00:15:14that it consists of five members.

00:15:16My parents,

00:15:17Ryan,

00:15:17Sophie,

00:15:18and even my boyfriend,

00:15:19Ethan.

00:15:19My parents,

00:15:20my brother,

00:15:20and my boyfriend

00:15:21are in a group chat

00:15:22with another woman.

00:15:23I'm the only one missing

00:15:25from this so-called family group chat.

00:15:27I know I shouldn't touch Ryan's phone,

00:15:29but I can't help myself.

00:15:30I open the chat.

00:15:32The chat history goes back

00:15:34to the day we moved into the new house.

00:15:37Sophie finally has a room of her own.

00:15:39Ryan responded

00:15:40with a string of celebratory emojis.

00:15:43Anyone who gives my sister

00:15:45a hard time

00:15:45is going to answer to me.

00:15:47When I see that message,

00:15:48I can't help but find it laughable.

00:15:51I'm Ryan's actual sister.

00:15:53Yet while he's promising

00:15:54to protect Sophie,

00:15:55I'm sleeping on a camping mat

00:15:57in a windowless storage room

00:15:58beside the laundry room.

00:15:59As I keep scrolling,

00:16:00I see them checking in on Sophie,

00:16:02talking about what she needs

00:16:03and where she wants to go on weekends.

00:16:05They even remember

00:16:06her favorite colors and food.

00:16:08But no one has ever asked me

00:16:10about any of these things.

00:16:13What surprises me most

00:16:14is that Ethan doesn't seem

00:16:15like an outsider in the chat at all.

00:16:18He asks Sophie how she likes

00:16:19her new art supplies,

00:16:21reminds Ryan to pick up the packages,

00:16:23and even offers to keep her company

00:16:24when Mom worries she's feeling down.

00:16:27My hand tightens around the phone.

00:16:29Then I see a message from Mom.

00:16:31Ethan responds quickly.

00:16:33Don't worry, Miss Carter.

00:16:34I'll always look after Sophie.

00:16:36My fingers go cold.

00:16:38An earlier message

00:16:39leaves me completely frozen.

00:16:41Ethan,

00:16:41do you think Aaron will be upset?

00:16:43Less than a minute later,

00:16:45Ethan responds.

00:16:46No.

00:16:47She doesn't know about this chat.

00:16:49I stare at his response,

00:16:50my fingers turning numb.

00:16:52So they know that I might be hurt.

00:16:54They just believe that as long as I'm in the dark,

00:16:56they can keep doing whatever they want

00:16:58without feeling guilty.

00:16:59At that moment,

00:17:01Ryan emerges from the bathroom.

00:17:03The second he sees his phone in my hands,

00:17:05his expression changes.

00:17:07Are you going through my phone?

00:17:11I look at him

00:17:12and turn the screen toward him.

00:17:17Sophie's family?

00:17:18Why am I not in the chat?

00:17:22My question hangs in the air

00:17:23and the living room goes quiet.

00:17:25Mom comes out of the kitchen.

00:17:27Dad looks up.

00:17:29Sophie stands at the doorway

00:17:30with Ethan by her side.

00:17:32Ryan strides over

00:17:33and snatches his phone out of my hands.

00:17:35It's just a group

00:17:36where we talk about taking care of Sophie.

00:17:37It has nothing to do with you.

00:17:39I can hardly believe my ears.

00:17:41Nothing to do with me?

00:17:42Fine.

00:17:43I get mom, dad,

00:17:44and you being in the group.

00:17:46But Ethan's my boyfriend!

00:17:48Mom frowns.

00:17:49She probably thinks

00:17:50I'm making a big deal

00:17:51out of nothing again.

00:17:52Lower your voice.

00:17:54Sophie hasn't done anything wrong.

00:17:56I look at Sophie.

00:17:58You asked Ethan if I'd be upset.

00:17:59Sophie's face goes pale.

00:18:01She tries to speak,

00:18:02but no words come out.

00:18:04I look at Ryan again.

00:18:06You knew I'd be upset.

00:18:08That's why you never told me

00:18:09about the group, isn't it?

00:18:10Erin, don't blow this out of proportion.

00:18:13We created the group

00:18:15to talk about taking care of Sophie.

00:18:17Taking care of Sophie.

00:18:18I've been hearing those words

00:18:19for ten years.

00:18:21Whenever something is for Sophie,

00:18:22I'm expected to stand aside.

00:18:24But this time,

00:18:25they even bring my boyfriend into this.

00:18:27I look at Ethan.

00:18:28He skips our anniversary

00:18:30to be with Sophie.

00:18:31He gets her expensive gifts,

00:18:33while all I get is discounted candy.

00:18:35Now, he's part of a family group chat

00:18:37that doesn't include me.

00:18:39He even promised to look after her.

00:18:41I finally ask him the question

00:18:42I've been holding back.

00:18:44Ethan, you're my boyfriend.

00:18:46So why are you in Sophie's family?

00:18:51I ask Ethan why he's in the group chat.

00:18:54After a few seconds of silence,

00:18:55he gives me the same answer

00:18:57I've heard countless times before.

00:18:59Erin, you're overthinking.

00:19:00It's just easier for everyone

00:19:02to coordinate in the group

00:19:03to take care of Sophie.

00:19:04There's nothing going on between us.

00:19:06You left me alone in a restaurant

00:19:07for two and a half hours

00:19:09on our anniversary

00:19:09just to be with her.

00:19:11You remembered everything she likes.

00:19:13You also promised my mother

00:19:15you'd take care of her

00:19:16in a family group chat

00:19:17that I'm not even in.

00:19:19How is that overthinking?

00:19:22Ethan looks a little guilty at first,

00:19:24but by the time I finish speaking,

00:19:26that guilt quickly turns into impatience.

00:19:29Sophie was having a hard time that day.

00:19:32I wasn't going to leave her alone

00:19:33by the river.

00:19:35Do you really have to keep

00:19:36bringing up the gift in group chat?

00:19:40Sophie starts to cry.

00:19:41Erin, I'm sorry.

00:19:43It's all my fault.

00:19:44If you don't like the group,

00:19:45I'll leave it.

00:19:46The moment she starts crying,

00:19:48Mom rushes over and hugs her.

00:19:50Sophie, stop blaming yourself

00:19:52for everything.

00:19:53Then Mom turns to me.

00:19:54Erin, Sophie's father died saving Ryan.

00:19:57What's wrong with us

00:19:58doing a little more for her?

00:19:59You're like her sister.

00:20:01Can't you be a little more understanding?

00:20:03I've been hearing those words

00:20:05for ten years.

00:20:09Whenever I feel hurt,

00:20:11they bring up Thomas' death again,

00:20:13as if his sacrifice means

00:20:14that I've no right to feel

00:20:16that I've been treated unfairly.

00:20:17I turn to Ryan.

00:20:18For the first time,

00:20:20I ask him seriously,

00:20:22Ryan, how much longer

00:20:23am I supposed to keep paying for this?

00:20:26What do you mean?

00:20:27I give up my room for Sophie.

00:20:29Our parents put her first,

00:20:30and you always protect her.

00:20:32And now,

00:20:33even my boyfriend

00:20:34is expected to take care of her?

00:20:36How much longer

00:20:37am I supposed to keep paying for this?

00:20:39Ryan's expression darkens instantly.

00:20:42Her father died saving me.

00:20:44I'll spend the rest of my life

00:20:45making it up to her.

00:20:46So do it.

00:20:48Why am I always the one

00:20:49paying the price?

00:20:50Because you're part of this family.

00:20:53I find his reply ironic.

00:20:56So why am I not

00:20:57in the family group chat?

00:20:59The room goes completely silent.

00:21:01Sophie is still crying,

00:21:02and Mom is consoling her.

00:21:04Ethan stands beside them,

00:21:06frowning,

00:21:06while Dad doesn't speak up

00:21:07for me at all.

00:21:08Maybe that's what finally

00:21:10pushes Ryan over the edge.

00:21:11He suddenly points

00:21:13at the front door.

00:21:14If you're not going to help,

00:21:16leave!

00:21:16I look at everyone.

00:21:18Mom is still consoling Sophie.

00:21:20Dad remains silent,

00:21:22and Ethan doesn't say

00:21:23a single word.

00:21:24I nod.

00:21:25Okay.

00:21:26This time,

00:21:27I'm leaving for good.

00:21:31After Ryan tells me to leave,

00:21:33no one brings up

00:21:34the argument again.

00:21:35For the next few days,

00:21:36Mom prepares an early birthday

00:21:37celebration for Sophie

00:21:38and orders a three-tier

00:21:40strawberry cake.

00:21:40Ryan buys decorations

00:21:42for the celebration,

00:21:42and Ethan comes over

00:21:44almost every day

00:21:44to keep Sophie company.

00:21:45Their laughter drifts

00:21:47down the hallway

00:21:48and into the storage room.

00:21:49It's as if nothing

00:21:50ever happened.

00:21:51I stop arguing.

00:21:52Instead, I wait

00:21:53until everyone is asleep

00:21:54before I start packing.

00:21:56Textbooks,

00:21:56old clothes,

00:21:57journals.

00:21:58I get rid of anything

00:21:59I don't need.

00:22:00I wash the pink floral dress

00:22:01Sophie gave me,

00:22:02fold it neatly,

00:22:02and leave it outside her room.

00:22:04At 4 a.m. on August 14,

00:22:05I fold the camping mat

00:22:06and leave it against the wall.

00:22:08I put the cleaning supplies

00:22:09and boxes back

00:22:10exactly where they were.

00:22:11The storage room

00:22:12is spotless again,

00:22:13as though no one

00:22:14has ever lived here.

00:22:15I only have one backpack.

00:22:16It consists of a few

00:22:17sets of clothes,

00:22:18my identification and documents,

00:22:20and the paperwork

00:22:21for the research center.

00:22:22I walk down the hallway

00:22:23without waking anyone.

00:22:24This family doesn't need me,

00:22:25so when I leave,

00:22:26I don't have to say goodbye.

00:22:27A cab I booked in advance

00:22:28is waiting outside.

00:22:30On the way to the airport,

00:22:31I delete my personal contacts

00:22:32one by one.

00:22:33Once I arrive at the research center,

00:22:35my personal devices

00:22:35will be kept away

00:22:36in accordance with protocol.

00:22:38This time,

00:22:38I'm not leaving anyone

00:22:39with a way to reach me

00:22:40whenever they want.

00:22:41At 7.30 a.m. that morning,

00:22:43Mom gets up

00:22:43and starts making breakfast

00:22:44as usual.

00:22:45Sophie,

00:22:45do you want your eggs

00:22:46fried or scrambled?

00:22:47Ryan, get up.

00:22:48It's time for breakfast.

00:22:49She walks past the storage room

00:22:50and opens the door

00:22:51out of habit.

00:22:52The room is completely empty.

00:22:53All that's left

00:22:54is the netly-felded camping mat.

00:22:56Mom immediately calls me,

00:22:57but my phone

00:22:57is already turned off.

00:22:58She sends me a message,

00:22:59only to realize

00:23:00that my personal accounts

00:23:01are no longer accessible.

00:23:02David!

00:23:03Dip-6 is gone!

00:23:05All her things are gone!

00:23:06Ryan comes running

00:23:07out of his room barefoot.

00:23:08He calls my number

00:23:09repeatedly,

00:23:10but he gets the same

00:23:11message every time.

00:23:12My number is unrewritable.

00:23:14Not long after,

00:23:15Ethan arrives.

00:23:16He stands at the entrance

00:23:17of the storage room.

00:23:19For once,

00:23:20he's speechless.

00:23:21Just then,

00:23:22Dad's phone suddenly rings.

00:23:23It's an unknown number calling.

00:23:26Hello?

00:23:27Is this Mr. Carter?

00:23:28I'm Mark.

00:23:28I used to work with Thomas.

00:23:29I was going through

00:23:30some old files recently.

00:23:31And I found the records

00:23:32from the river accident

00:23:33ten years ago.

00:23:34There's a brief pause

00:23:35on the other end.

00:23:37Later,

00:23:38I learned that Dad

00:23:39was stunned

00:23:39in for a few seconds

00:23:40after hearing Mark's words.

00:23:42There are some things

00:23:43about Ryan's accident

00:23:44that you may have

00:23:45gotten wrong

00:23:45all these years.

00:23:46What do you mean?

00:23:48There's a long pause

00:23:49on the other end

00:23:50of the line.

00:23:51The person who saved

00:23:52Ryan wasn't.

00:23:54Dad's expression

00:23:55changes instantly.

00:23:56What did you say?

00:23:58The accident report

00:23:59and witness statement

00:24:01both list

00:24:02someone else's name.

00:24:03I was there that day

00:24:04and I have copies

00:24:05of the original documents.

00:24:06Mom has been trying

00:24:07to call me.

00:24:08When she hears that,

00:24:09she comes over

00:24:10and grabs the phone

00:24:11from Dad.

00:24:12That's impossible.

00:24:14Thomas died saving Ryan.

00:24:15We all know that.

00:24:16It's hard to explain

00:24:17over the phone.

00:24:18I'll come over

00:24:18tomorrow afternoon

00:24:19and bring the documents.

00:24:20You can see them

00:24:20for yourself.

00:24:21The call ends

00:24:22and the living room

00:24:23falls silent.

00:24:25But they barely have time

00:24:26to process what Mark said.

00:24:28There's still a more

00:24:29immediate problem.

00:24:30I have gone missing.

00:24:31Mom starts calling

00:24:32my university.

00:24:33Then she contacts

00:24:34Professor Lawson.

00:24:36Professor Lawson,

00:24:37did Erin join

00:24:38the research program

00:24:39you recommended?

00:24:40Please tell me

00:24:40where she is.

00:24:41I'm going to find her.

00:24:42Erin has left

00:24:43for her new research

00:24:44assignment as planned.

00:24:45She's safe.

00:24:47Mom visibly relaxes.

00:24:49But the next thing

00:24:50she hears

00:24:50leaves her frozen in place.

00:24:54Her exact location

00:24:56and work details

00:24:56are confidential.

00:24:58Erin has not authorized

00:24:59me to share that information

00:25:00with her family.

00:25:01but I'm her mother.

00:25:03I know

00:25:04but she's an adult.

00:25:06But mom refuses

00:25:06to give up.

00:25:08Eventually

00:25:08she goes to the police.

00:25:10After verifying

00:25:11my information

00:25:12the police

00:25:13gives her the same answer.

00:25:14Mrs. Carter

00:25:15we've confirmed

00:25:15that your daughter

00:25:16is safe.

00:25:17There's no indication

00:25:17that she was coerced

00:25:18so there's no emergency

00:25:20requiring intervention.

00:25:21Then where is she?

00:25:24If a competent adult

00:25:25leaves voluntarily

00:25:26and doesn't want

00:25:27their family

00:25:27to know where they are

00:25:28we can't disclose

00:25:29their location.

00:25:30Mom stands there

00:25:31in silence

00:25:32for a long time.

00:25:33So

00:25:33she doesn't want us

00:25:35to find her?

00:25:36The police doesn't answer

00:25:37but everyone knows

00:25:39I'm not missing

00:25:40and I haven't gone

00:25:41into hiding

00:25:42waiting for them

00:25:43to look for me.

00:25:44I've simply made

00:25:45a decision for myself

00:25:46and I don't even want

00:25:48them to know

00:25:48my location.

00:25:51When they return home

00:25:52Ryan is still clinging

00:25:53to the last bit of hope.

00:25:56she'll have to come back

00:25:57for her stuff

00:25:58right?

00:25:59Dad looks at the

00:25:59empty storage room.

00:26:01She didn't leave

00:26:02anything behind.

00:26:03Ethan stands at the doorway

00:26:05without saying anything.

00:26:06It's only then

00:26:07that they finally understand.

00:26:09I haven't gone away

00:26:10temporarily.

00:26:11I've erased myself

00:26:12from this family

00:26:13completely.

00:26:14The next day

00:26:15the doorbell rings

00:26:16right on time.

00:26:17Dad opens the door.

00:26:18Mark is standing outside

00:26:20holding a folder

00:26:21that he has been keeping

00:26:22for a decade.

00:26:23I brought everything

00:26:24I mentioned yesterday.

00:26:26He enters the living room

00:26:28and places the folder

00:26:29onto the table.

00:26:30Then he pulls out

00:26:32the official accident report.

00:26:33Mom stares at the pages.

00:26:35Mark turns to a specific page

00:26:37and slides the report

00:26:38toward them.

00:26:39See for yourselves.

00:26:41Dad reads the report.

00:26:42The person who saved Ryan

00:26:44is someone none of them recognize.

00:26:45It wasn't Thomas.

00:26:49Dad already hears over the phone

00:26:51that Thomas may not have been

00:26:53the one who saved Ryan.

00:26:54But when the official report

00:26:55is finally in front of them

00:26:56Mom still refuses

00:26:58to believe it.

00:27:00She grabs the report

00:27:01and reads it over and over.

00:27:04That's impossible.

00:27:06Thomas died trying to save Ryan.

00:27:08Mark doesn't argue with her.

00:27:09Instead,

00:27:10he opens the witness statement

00:27:11he has been keeping.

00:27:12Jackson Cole,

00:27:13male, 21,

00:27:14rescued Ryan Carter

00:27:15from the river

00:27:15and brought him to the riverbank.

00:27:17I signed this statement myself.

00:27:19The county sheriff's office

00:27:20has the original on file.

00:27:24Then,

00:27:24for the first time,

00:27:26he tells them exactly

00:27:26what happens that day.

00:27:28When Ryan fell into the river,

00:27:29the first person to jump in

00:27:31was a college student

00:27:32who happened to be passing by.

00:27:35That guy was a good swimmer.

00:27:37He got to Ryan quickly

00:27:39and managed to push him

00:27:40to the riverbank.

00:27:41What about Thomas?

00:27:42By the time Thomas got there,

00:27:44Ryan was already

00:27:45out of the water.

00:27:48Everyone falls silent.

00:27:50But the person

00:27:51who was still in danger back then

00:27:52was the college student

00:27:54who had saved Ryan.

00:27:55The current had been too strong

00:27:56for him to reach the riverbank.

00:27:58When Thomas saw him struggling,

00:28:00he snapped a branch

00:28:01off a nearby tree

00:28:01to use to save him,

00:28:03despite not knowing how to swim.

00:28:07Thomas got too close to the edge.

00:28:09The mud suddenly gave way

00:28:11and he fell into the river.

00:28:15The student eventually

00:28:16grabbed onto a rock downstream

00:28:18and managed to pull himself

00:28:19out of the water.

00:28:20But Thomas didn't make it back.

00:28:24Mark pauses for a moment.

00:28:27Thomas was a good man.

00:28:28He knew he couldn't swim.

00:28:30Yet he still tried to help someone

00:28:32who was in danger.

00:28:34But he wasn't the person

00:28:35who saved Ryan.

00:28:36Mom grips the report

00:28:38until her knuckles turn white.

00:28:39That's impossible.

00:28:41Ryan said it himself.

00:28:42Thomas was the one

00:28:43who saved him.

00:28:44Everyone looks at Ryan.

00:28:45His expression changes.

00:28:47I didn't say that.

00:28:49Mom stares at him.

00:28:50What?

00:28:51I was only six

00:28:52when it happened.

00:28:53I don't remember much

00:28:55after I fell into the river.

00:28:56When I woke up,

00:28:57I was already lying

00:28:58on the riverbank.

00:28:59He pauses for a bit.

00:29:00His voice drops.

00:29:02You were the one

00:29:03who told me

00:29:03Thomas died saving me.

00:29:07You'd been saying it

00:29:08for years

00:29:08so I thought

00:29:09he was the one

00:29:10who saved me.

00:29:11Mom's hands begin to shake.

00:29:13For a decade

00:29:14she's been telling everyone

00:29:15that our family

00:29:16owes Sophie a debt

00:29:17for what her father did.

00:29:18Because of this,

00:29:19I've been expected

00:29:20to give up my room,

00:29:21my family's attention,

00:29:23and everything

00:29:23that once belonged to me.

00:29:25Only after I finally leave

00:29:27does the truth come out.

00:29:28The debt that cost me

00:29:29ten years of my life

00:29:30was never real

00:29:31to begin with.

00:29:32Mark looks at them

00:29:33and delivers

00:29:34the final truth.

00:29:36Thomas' death

00:29:37was an accident.

00:29:39He was a good person.

00:29:41But your family

00:29:42doesn't owe him anything

00:29:43for saving Ryan.

00:29:44The color drains

00:29:45from mom's face.

00:29:46Because if that debt

00:29:47never existed,

00:29:49then where does that

00:29:49put me,

00:29:50the one who spent

00:29:51ten years paying for it?

00:29:54Mark doesn't repeat

00:29:55the details of the accident.

00:29:57He simply pushes

00:29:58the report toward mom.

00:30:00Thomas' death

00:30:01and Ryan's rescue

00:30:02happened on the same day.

00:30:03But you're the one

00:30:04who connected them together.

00:30:05Mom finally remembers.

00:30:07Ten years ago,

00:30:08she was the one

00:30:09who asked Thomas

00:30:09to save Ryan.

00:30:11After he died,

00:30:12she carried that guilt

00:30:12for so long

00:30:13that she eventually

00:30:13started telling Ryan

00:30:14her version of the truth.

00:30:17Thomas died saving you.

00:30:19We can never forget

00:30:20what he did for us.

00:30:22Ryan was only six

00:30:23back then.

00:30:24He didn't remember

00:30:25much about the accident,

00:30:26but he'd heard the story

00:30:27so many times

00:30:28that he eventually

00:30:28came to believe

00:30:29it was his own memory.

00:30:30Then Sophie moves in

00:30:32and that guilt

00:30:33becomes the reason

00:30:33everyone expects me

00:30:34to step aside.

00:30:35So all these years,

00:30:37I was the one

00:30:38telling everyone

00:30:39we owed her?

00:30:40There's nothing wrong

00:30:41with taking care of Sophie.

00:30:42What's wrong

00:30:43is making another child

00:30:44pay for your guilt.

00:30:46Mark gathers the documents

00:30:48and leaves the Carter residence.

00:30:50The door closes behind him

00:30:52and for a long time,

00:30:53no one says a single word.

00:30:54Mom suddenly stands

00:30:56and walks straight

00:30:56to the storage room.

00:31:02It's the first time

00:31:03she steps inside

00:31:04since moving in.

00:31:05The room is less

00:31:06than 50 square feet.

00:31:07There's no window

00:31:08and the walls

00:31:09are still damp in places.

00:31:10The cleaning supplies

00:31:12and boxes

00:31:12are neatly arranged

00:31:13while the camping mat

00:31:14sits against the wall.

00:31:15Mom stands there.

00:31:17The room is so small

00:31:18that even turning around

00:31:19feels difficult.

00:31:20Helen?

00:31:21She doesn't answer.

00:31:23She slowly crouches down

00:31:25and touches the camping mat.

00:31:27Only now does she

00:31:27truly understand.

00:31:28While Sophie sleeps

00:31:29in a brand new bed

00:31:30surrounded by expensive furniture,

00:31:32I have been sleeping here

00:31:34every night

00:31:34and she's never once

00:31:35come inside to see me.

00:31:37Erin has been sleeping here

00:31:39for so many days.

00:31:40Her voice begins to tremble.

00:31:42Why have I never once

00:31:44come in here before?

00:31:45No one can answer her

00:31:46because they didn't know

00:31:48that I'd left.

00:31:49They didn't even know

00:31:50when I'd finished

00:31:50packing my things.

00:31:52It isn't until they open

00:31:53this empty room

00:31:54but they finally realize

00:31:55I'm truly gone

00:31:56from this family.

00:31:57Mom slowly slides down

00:31:58the wall

00:31:59and sits on the floor.

00:32:00She finally cries.

00:32:05I don't even know

00:32:06when she left.

00:32:12That night,

00:32:13Ryan opens

00:32:14Sophie's family again.

00:32:15One message in particular

00:32:16makes him stop.

00:32:18Anyone gives my sister

00:32:19a hard time

00:32:19is going to answer to me.

00:32:21He stares at the message

00:32:22for a long time.

00:32:23For the first time,

00:32:24he realizes

00:32:25that his actual sister

00:32:26has never been

00:32:27in the group chat.

00:32:28Everyone in the group

00:32:29remembers everything

00:32:30about Sophie,

00:32:31but no one asks

00:32:32how I'm doing.

00:32:34Dad stands at the doorway.

00:32:36Ryan glances at him

00:32:37and suddenly asks something.

00:32:39Dad,

00:32:40why didn't you say anything

00:32:40when I told Erin

00:32:41to leave the other day?

00:32:42Dad remains silent

00:32:43for a long time.

00:32:44I've always thought

00:32:45that if I stayed out of it,

00:32:46things would eventually

00:32:47blow over.

00:32:48But she has actually left.

00:32:50Yes.

00:32:52Dad lowers his head,

00:32:54his voice becoming softer.

00:32:56The truth is,

00:32:57I noticed something

00:32:58was wrong with her

00:32:58ever since we moved in.

00:33:00I even asked your mom

00:33:01about it,

00:33:01but she told me

00:33:02Erin has always been

00:33:03like that

00:33:04and that I shouldn't

00:33:04indulge her.

00:33:05I could see she was hurting,

00:33:07but I never asked her about it.

00:33:09Only later do I realize

00:33:10that all these years,

00:33:11Dad has believed

00:33:12that staying silent

00:33:13means he isn't hurting anyone.

00:33:14But when everyone

00:33:15is telling me to step aside,

00:33:16his silence is a choice, too.

00:33:18Ryan's thoughts

00:33:19returned to our argument

00:33:20when he yelled at me.

00:33:21If you're not gonna help,

00:33:23leave!

00:33:24Now that the truth is out,

00:33:25I've done exactly

00:33:26what he told me to do.

00:33:27I've left.

00:33:28I always thought

00:33:29I was protecting

00:33:30the right person.

00:33:31He lowers his head,

00:33:32his voice breaking.

00:33:34But when Erin needed me

00:33:35to stand up for her,

00:33:37I never did.

00:33:40This time,

00:33:41Dad doesn't try

00:33:42to make excuses for him.

00:33:45Later,

00:33:46I learn that Sophie

00:33:47starts packing her things

00:33:48the very next day.

00:33:49By the time Mom notices,

00:33:51she has already packed

00:33:51two suitcases.

00:33:53The markers Ethan gave her,

00:33:54the pink curtains,

00:33:55and most of the things

00:33:56in the room,

00:33:57she leaves all of them behind.

00:33:58Sophie,

00:33:59what are you doing?

00:34:02Helen,

00:34:03I'm going to move out.

00:34:04Mom grabs her hands.

00:34:07You can't leave.

00:34:08We were wrong

00:34:09about what happened

00:34:10to your father.

00:34:11But none of this

00:34:12is your fault.

00:34:13You didn't know.

00:34:14Sophie doesn't argue.

00:34:16She simply looks back

00:34:17at the room behind her.

00:34:19Everything in the room

00:34:20has been carefully chosen

00:34:21and arranged for her.

00:34:23I know I didn't make

00:34:24Erin leave,

00:34:26but I can't say

00:34:27I did nothing either.

00:34:28Mom freezes.

00:34:30Sophie admits

00:34:31that she hasn't been

00:34:31completely blind

00:34:32to how much

00:34:33I've been hurting.

00:34:34When we first moved in,

00:34:36she knew that my name

00:34:37wasn't on the floor plan.

00:34:38When Ethan helped her,

00:34:39she asked if I'd be upset.

00:34:42And with Sophie's family,

00:34:44she knew I might

00:34:45have a problem with it.

00:34:47But when Ethan told her

00:34:48that I didn't know

00:34:49about the group,

00:34:50she felt reassured

00:34:51enough to stay.

00:34:55Every time I felt

00:34:56like something wasn't right,

00:34:57someone would tell me

00:34:57that Erin wouldn't mind,

00:34:59that she's the older one,

00:35:00that she'd understand.

00:35:04Ryan stands beside her

00:35:05without saying anything.

00:35:07Sophie looks at him,

00:35:08her voice soft.

00:35:10I have a bedroom

00:35:11because Erin doesn't have one.

00:35:12All the extra attention

00:35:14you give me

00:35:14is because you believe

00:35:15she can do with less.

00:35:18Even when Ethan

00:35:19is good to me,

00:35:20I know full well

00:35:21that he's her boyfriend.

00:35:25Still,

00:35:26I tell myself

00:35:27that as long as

00:35:28I never ask for it,

00:35:30it has nothing

00:35:30to do with me.

00:35:32She starts to cry.

00:35:33But just because

00:35:34I never asked for it,

00:35:35it doesn't mean

00:35:36that I can keep

00:35:37accepting them

00:35:38without feeling guilty.

00:35:41Mom cries

00:35:42and shakes her head.

00:35:43Sophie,

00:35:44we can fix this.

00:35:45Stay.

00:35:46This room

00:35:47is still yours.

00:35:48Sophie places

00:35:49the key on the table.

00:35:51That's exactly

00:35:52why I need to leave.

00:35:54Everything has always

00:35:55been given to me.

00:35:58I don't want to spend

00:35:59the rest of my life

00:36:00staying in this room,

00:36:02knowing that someone else

00:36:04had to give it up for me.

00:36:05She carries her suitcases

00:36:07toward the door.

00:36:08She stops

00:36:09and looks back

00:36:09at the family

00:36:10she's lived with

00:36:11for ten years.

00:36:12Thank you for taking

00:36:13care of me

00:36:14for the last decade,

00:36:15but from now on,

00:36:16I want to take care

00:36:17of myself.

00:36:18No one stops her.

00:36:19She takes her suitcases

00:36:21and disappears

00:36:22through the front door.

00:36:23After Sophie leaves,

00:36:25the bedroom that receives

00:36:26the best sunlight

00:36:27finally sits empty.

00:36:29And only then

00:36:30do they realize

00:36:31that,

00:36:31in just a few weeks,

00:36:33two rooms in their new home

00:36:35have been left empty.

00:36:40After Sophie moves out,

00:36:42Ethan finally steps

00:36:43into the storage room.

00:36:44He already knows

00:36:45what the room looks like.

00:36:46But now that I'm gone,

00:36:48along with everything I own,

00:36:49he realizes that he has

00:36:51never actually taken

00:36:52the time to look at it.

00:36:53Ryan stands in the doorway.

00:36:55Aaron sleeps here

00:36:55every night.

00:36:56Ethan doesn't say anything.

00:36:58He suddenly realizes

00:36:59that he can name

00:37:00Sophie's favorite marker brand,

00:37:01but he doesn't know

00:37:02my favorite color.

00:37:03For three years,

00:37:04I've been telling him

00:37:05about the things I like.

00:37:06But he just assumes

00:37:07that there'll be plenty of time

00:37:08to get to know me.

00:37:10But he doesn't completely

00:37:11ignore me, either.

00:37:13When my thesis gets approved,

00:37:15I excitedly send him

00:37:16a screenshot.

00:37:17He replies with a simple,

00:37:19nice.

00:37:20A few minutes later,

00:37:22he's already asking

00:37:23if Sophie likes

00:37:24the new markers

00:37:25he bought her.

00:37:26None of those moments

00:37:28seem like a big deal

00:37:28on its own.

00:37:29But every single time,

00:37:31I've been moved

00:37:32down the list.

00:37:33And because I always stay,

00:37:35he assumes there'll always

00:37:36be another chance

00:37:36to make it up to me.

00:37:38But now,

00:37:39there won't be

00:37:39another chance.

00:37:41Ethan crouches

00:37:42to get the camping mat

00:37:43and notices a photo

00:37:44tucked underneath it.

00:37:46It was taken shortly

00:37:48after we started college.

00:37:49I was wearing

00:37:50a blue hoodie,

00:37:52standing beneath

00:37:52a maple tree on campus,

00:37:54smiling at the camera.

00:37:55I had written a message

00:37:57on the back,

00:37:58day one with Ethan.

00:37:59I hope we'll be happy

00:38:00together for a long time.

00:38:03Ethan stares

00:38:04at that message.

00:38:06She used to love blue,

00:38:07right?

00:38:08Ethan stares at the photo

00:38:10and doesn't answer him

00:38:11immediately.

00:38:12My blue hoodie,

00:38:13the message on the back

00:38:14of the photo,

00:38:15all the little things

00:38:16I've told him

00:38:17over the years.

00:38:18Suddenly,

00:38:19they all seem

00:38:20painfully obvious.

00:38:21It's not that

00:38:22she never told me.

00:38:23He tightens his grip

00:38:25around the photo.

00:38:26I just never bothered

00:38:27to remember.

00:38:28Ethan finally remembers

00:38:30that I love blue,

00:38:31but he doesn't even

00:38:32know where I am now.

00:38:37While my family

00:38:38is beginning to question

00:38:39everything they've done,

00:38:40I've already arrived

00:38:41in New Mexico.

00:38:42When I arrive,

00:38:43the wind and sand

00:38:44are so fierce

00:38:45that I can barely

00:38:46keep my eyes open.

00:38:47I stand outside

00:38:48the research center

00:38:49with the same backpack

00:38:50I had left home with.

00:38:51All I see are low buildings

00:38:53stretching across

00:38:53an endless desert.

00:38:55A man wearing

00:38:56black-rimmed glasses

00:38:57walks toward me.

00:38:58Aaron Carter?

00:38:59That's me.

00:39:00I'm Luke Anderson,

00:39:01the project's senior researcher.

00:39:03It's good to finally meet you.

00:39:04I'm stunned.

00:39:06Finally?

00:39:06Luke smiles

00:39:07as he takes

00:39:08the folder from me.

00:39:09Professor Lawson

00:39:10has been talking

00:39:10about you for over a month.

00:39:12She says that

00:39:13your weather models

00:39:13are exactly

00:39:14what this project needs.

00:39:15Someone actually asked

00:39:16at yesterday's meeting

00:39:17when you'd be arriving.

00:39:18I don't know what to say.

00:39:19I'd spent 23 years

00:39:21in a home

00:39:22where no one

00:39:22really knew

00:39:23what I studied.

00:39:24No one had asked me

00:39:25about my research

00:39:26either.

00:39:27And now,

00:39:27I've barely arrived

00:39:29in this new place

00:39:30and people already

00:39:30know my name.

00:39:31After I clear

00:39:32the identity check,

00:39:33I hand over

00:39:33my personal devices

00:39:34as required

00:39:35by the project.

00:39:36Personal electronic devices

00:39:37must be secured

00:39:38for the duration

00:39:39of the project.

00:39:41This is your

00:39:41internal terminal.

00:39:43Emergency contacts

00:39:44and essential

00:39:44personal communications

00:39:45can be arranged

00:39:46through the appropriate

00:39:47approval process.

00:39:48I nod and sign

00:39:49the paperwork

00:39:49but I leave

00:39:50the family contact

00:39:51section blank.

00:39:52Not because the project

00:39:54forbids it

00:39:54but because there

00:39:56isn't anyone

00:39:56I want to contact

00:39:57anymore.

00:40:01After I complete

00:40:02the paperwork,

00:40:03Luke shows me

00:40:04to the dorm.

00:40:05It's definitely

00:40:05not as comfortable

00:40:06as living in the city

00:40:07but take a look around.

00:40:08If you need anything,

00:40:10let the staff know.

00:40:11I open the door.

00:40:12Inside,

00:40:13there's a single bed,

00:40:15a desk,

00:40:15and a wardrobe.

00:40:16The walls are worn.

00:40:18I stand in the doorway

00:40:19for a long time

00:40:20without going inside

00:40:21because there's

00:40:22an actual window

00:40:23in the room.

00:40:24Afternoon sunlight

00:40:25streams through the window,

00:40:27spilling across the bed,

00:40:28and more importantly,

00:40:30there's a nameplate

00:40:31on the door.

00:40:32Luke notices me

00:40:33staring at the nameplate

00:40:34and assumes

00:40:35something is wrong.

00:40:36Did they spell

00:40:37your name wrong?

00:40:38No,

00:40:38I touched the nameplate.

00:40:40When Sophie moved in

00:40:41with our family,

00:40:42I gave up my room

00:40:43for her.

00:40:44When we moved

00:40:44into the new house,

00:40:45they let me stay

00:40:46in the storage room

00:40:47temporarily.

00:40:48Once I'm gone,

00:40:49they plan to tear it down

00:40:50and turn it into

00:40:51a bigger closet for her.

00:40:53But now,

00:40:53this modest room

00:40:55has only one name

00:40:55on the door.

00:40:56Mine.

00:40:58It's perfect.

00:41:00Are you sure?

00:41:01That's the nicest thing

00:41:02anyone's ever said

00:41:02about the rooms.

00:41:03The staff might actually

00:41:04feel a little proud.

00:41:05I can't help but laugh.

00:41:08A while later,

00:41:10he knocks on my door again.

00:41:14Get settled in

00:41:15and come downstairs.

00:41:16The project meeting

00:41:17starts in ten minutes.

00:41:18Today?

00:41:19I ask without thinking.

00:41:21Of course.

00:41:22He looks at me

00:41:23as though the answer

00:41:24is obvious.

00:41:25Everyone's waiting for you.

00:41:28I stand by the window,

00:41:30basking in the sunlight.

00:41:32For the first time,

00:41:33New Mexico doesn't feel

00:41:34quite as desolate

00:41:35as I had imagined.

00:41:37At least here,

00:41:38I have a room

00:41:39that is truly mine.

00:41:41And before I even arrive,

00:41:43they've already made sure

00:41:44there's a place for me.

00:41:48After arriving in New Mexico,

00:41:50my life quickly falls

00:41:51into a simple routine.

00:41:52Every morning,

00:41:53I head to the lab.

00:41:55At night,

00:41:55I return to my dorm.

00:41:57Whatever time is left

00:41:58is spent pouring over data,

00:42:00refining models,

00:42:01and running tests.

00:42:02But strangely,

00:42:03I don't feel tired at all.

00:42:07Back in Portland,

00:42:09no matter how well I did,

00:42:11it seemed like

00:42:11no one really cared.

00:42:13Here,

00:42:13if I enter a wrong parameter,

00:42:15someone points it out.

00:42:17If a model produces

00:42:18new results,

00:42:19someone sits down with me

00:42:21to discuss them.

00:42:22For the first time,

00:42:24my worth has nothing to do

00:42:25with how understanding I am.

00:42:28About a month into the project,

00:42:29I discovered that

00:42:30the Research Center's

00:42:31long-standing environmental

00:42:32forecasting model

00:42:33has significant inaccuracies

00:42:34involving dust storms,

00:42:36strong crosswinds,

00:42:37and extreme temperature fluctuations.

00:42:40I show Luke

00:42:41the reorganized data.

00:42:44If we continue

00:42:45using the current model,

00:42:47the flight tests

00:42:47are going to keep

00:42:48getting delayed.

00:42:49Luke doesn't ask

00:42:51whether I'm too young

00:42:51to be making that call,

00:42:53nor does he tell me

00:42:54that the system

00:42:55has been in place

00:42:56for years

00:42:56and shouldn't be changed.

00:42:58He asks only one question.

00:43:00Do you have a better solution?

00:43:03Yes,

00:43:03but I'd have to rebuild

00:43:04the entire core algorithm.

00:43:07Then do it.

00:43:09I stare at him.

00:43:12You're not concerned

00:43:13about the risks?

00:43:14We hired you

00:43:15because the old system

00:43:16can't solve

00:43:17our current problems.

00:43:18If you're too afraid

00:43:19to change it,

00:43:20then what exactly

00:43:20did we hire you for?

00:43:22From that day on,

00:43:24I work with several

00:43:24other researchers

00:43:25to reorganize

00:43:26five years' worth

00:43:27of weather data.

00:43:28For months,

00:43:29we adjust the model,

00:43:30run simulations,

00:43:31tear our results apart,

00:43:32and start over again.

00:43:39During the busiest period,

00:43:41Luke and I are still

00:43:41at the lab

00:43:42at two in the morning.

00:43:43The crosswind data

00:43:44from Site 7 is in.

00:43:46Run the new model.

00:43:47The numbers begin

00:43:48racing across the screen.

00:43:5072% prediction accuracy.

00:43:52New model,

00:43:5394% prediction accuracy.

00:43:55I check the results

00:43:57three times

00:43:58before I finally

00:43:59dare look up.

00:44:00Luke sets his coffee down,

00:44:02grinning.

00:44:02Aaron,

00:44:03you actually fixed it.

00:44:05Once the new model

00:44:06enters the testing phase,

00:44:07several procedures

00:44:08that used to require

00:44:09repeated calibration

00:44:10became much simpler.

00:44:13The project is now

00:44:14expected to reach

00:44:15its key testing phase

00:44:16at least a year

00:44:18ahead of schedule.

00:44:20At the year-end

00:44:21project review,

00:44:22the chief engineer

00:44:23presents the final results

00:44:24to the entire research team.

00:44:25The new environmental

00:44:26forecasting model

00:44:27has increased accuracy

00:44:29in critical scenarios

00:44:30to 94%.

00:44:31At the current pace,

00:44:32it will save us

00:44:33at least a year of testing.

00:44:34He pauses,

00:44:35then looks toward me.

00:44:37The core model

00:44:38was rebuilt

00:44:39under the leadership

00:44:40of Aaron Carter.

00:44:41Applause fills the room.

00:44:43I sit there,

00:44:44suddenly unsure

00:44:45of what to do

00:44:45with my hands.

00:44:46Luke gently nudges me.

00:44:47Do you know

00:44:48how important you are?

00:44:49I look at the data model

00:44:51being shown on the stage,

00:44:52my eyes suddenly stinging.

00:44:53For 23 years,

00:44:55I've had people

00:44:56tell me to give way

00:44:57or to be more understanding.

00:44:59But this is the first time

00:45:00anyone has ever told me,

00:45:02in front of everyone,

00:45:03that they don't need me

00:45:04to make myself smaller.

00:45:05They need more

00:45:06of my ability.

00:45:11Once winter arrives,

00:45:12we spend several weeks

00:45:14working around the clock

00:45:15to complete a critical

00:45:16round of testing.

00:45:17That night,

00:45:18I feel a little lightheaded.

00:45:19I assume it's because

00:45:21I haven't been getting

00:45:21enough sleep.

00:45:22I finish my coffee

00:45:23and continue working.

00:45:25It isn't until the numbers

00:45:27on the screen

00:45:28start blurring together

00:45:29that I realize

00:45:30I can barely hold my mouse.

00:45:32He walks past

00:45:33and takes one look at me.

00:45:35Aaron,

00:45:35why is your face so red?

00:45:36I'm fine.

00:45:37The last batch of data

00:45:38is almost done.

00:45:39Before I can finish speaking,

00:45:41he touches my forehead.

00:45:42You call this fine?

00:45:43I try to turn back

00:45:44to the screen,

00:45:45but he spins my chair around.

00:45:46Get up.

00:45:47We're going to the medical center.

00:45:48Give me 10 more minutes.

00:45:49The model is almost

00:45:50finished running.

00:45:50The model can wait

00:45:51until tomorrow.

00:45:52If you collapse,

00:45:53who's going to be

00:45:54responsible for that?

00:45:55I stare at him

00:45:56for a moment.

00:45:57The words sound

00:45:58so ordinary

00:45:59that they leave me

00:46:01speechless.

00:46:02In the end,

00:46:03Luke saves my work,

00:46:05grabs my coat,

00:46:07and walks me

00:46:08to the medical center.

00:46:12That's a high fever.

00:46:14Have you been getting

00:46:15enough rest lately?

00:46:16Before I can answer,

00:46:17Luke speaks up.

00:46:18She's been working overtime

00:46:20and her meals

00:46:21have been irregular.

00:46:22She was still in the lab

00:46:23at 2 in the morning.

00:46:24How did you know?

00:46:26Because I was there.

00:46:30The doctor tells me

00:46:31to rest for at least

00:46:32two days.

00:46:33My first thought

00:46:34is to ask about

00:46:35the results of the tests

00:46:36on the model.

00:46:39What about the model

00:46:40test results?

00:46:42I'll keep an eye on it.

00:46:44If anything comes up,

00:46:45I'll let you know.

00:46:47Don't you have

00:46:48your own work to do?

00:46:49Exactly.

00:46:50So you need to

00:46:50quickly recover.

00:46:51I don't need you

00:46:52creating more work for me.

00:46:53Even though he sounds

00:46:55like he's complaining,

00:46:56he still gets me

00:46:57a glass of water

00:46:59and places my medication

00:47:00on the bedside table.

00:47:03Lying there,

00:47:05I suddenly remember

00:47:06how whenever I was sick,

00:47:08Ethan would only text me

00:47:10to remind me

00:47:11to take my medan.

00:47:13Back then,

00:47:14I always made excuses

00:47:15for him.

00:47:16I told myself

00:47:17that adults

00:47:18were supposed to

00:47:19take care of themselves.

00:47:21But Luke

00:47:22noticed that I wasn't

00:47:23feeling well

00:47:25before I even had

00:47:26to ask for help.

00:47:28For the first time,

00:47:29I realized that

00:47:30when someone truly cares,

00:47:32you don't have to

00:47:32keep proving

00:47:33how much you're hurting.

00:47:35Luke notices me

00:47:36staring blankly

00:47:37into space

00:47:37and gives me

00:47:38the glass of water.

00:47:39Take your meds.

00:47:40The project won't stop

00:47:41just because you

00:47:42take two days off.

00:47:43I take the glass

00:47:44from him.

00:47:44For once,

00:47:45I don't try

00:47:46to tough it out.

00:47:46The project won't

00:47:48come to a halt

00:47:48just because I rest

00:47:49for two days.

00:47:50And I don't have

00:47:51to push myself

00:47:52to my limits

00:47:52just to prove

00:47:53that I'm useful.

00:47:54This time,

00:47:55someone is actually

00:47:56waiting for me

00:47:57to recover.

00:48:02After spending

00:48:03two days

00:48:04in the medical center,

00:48:05I learned something

00:48:06for the first time.

00:48:07Work matters,

00:48:08but I need to

00:48:09take care of myself too.

00:48:12Once I've fully recovered,

00:48:14I return to the lab.

00:48:15My life finally

00:48:16starts to fall into place.

00:48:19In my second year,

00:48:21the new model

00:48:21my team and I develop

00:48:23passes a series of tests.

00:48:25We compile the results

00:48:26into a paper

00:48:27and submit it

00:48:28to one of the leading journals

00:48:29in the field.

00:48:31A few months later,

00:48:32Professor Lawson

00:48:33forwards me an email.

00:48:34Email notification.

00:48:35Paper officially accepted.

00:48:37First author,

00:48:38Erin Carter.

00:48:39I stare at my name

00:48:40for a long time.

00:48:41Whenever I accomplish

00:48:42something,

00:48:43my first instinct

00:48:44was to tell my family.

00:48:45But after being met

00:48:46with indifference

00:48:46time of time again,

00:48:48I eventually stop

00:48:49telling them anything.

00:48:51But this time,

00:48:52everyone in the lab

00:48:53is even more excited

00:48:54than I am.

00:48:58First author, huh?

00:48:59Does that mean

00:49:00you're buying us

00:49:00dinner tonight?

00:49:01The project bonus

00:49:03hasn't come through yet.

00:49:04Then put it on my tab.

00:49:06I'll keep track.

00:49:07By my third year,

00:49:09I begin independently

00:49:10overseeing one branch

00:49:11of the project's algorithms.

00:49:14It's my first time

00:49:15leading a small team

00:49:16of my own.

00:49:17At project meetings,

00:49:19when people bring up

00:49:20the environmental

00:49:20forecasting model,

00:49:21they no longer refer to me

00:49:23as the lady Professor Lawson

00:49:24recommended.

00:49:25Instead,

00:49:26they call me by my name.

00:49:27Give this section

00:49:28to Erin.

00:49:29She knows it better

00:49:30than anyone.

00:49:32Works for me.

00:49:33Sitting at the conference table,

00:49:35I realize that it's been

00:49:36a long time since I've cared

00:49:38whether someone thinks

00:49:39I'm worth recognizing.

00:49:40What I don't know

00:49:42is that during those

00:49:43same years,

00:49:44the house in Portland

00:49:45is growing quieter.

00:49:48Mom begins going to therapy.

00:49:50She never brings up

00:49:51tearing down

00:49:51the storage room again.

00:49:53One day,

00:49:54Dad is cleaning out

00:49:54an old cabinet

00:49:55when he finds a box

00:49:56filled with family photos.

00:49:58He starts going through them,

00:50:00beginning with photos

00:50:01from my childhood.

00:50:02Before long,

00:50:03he notices something

00:50:04he had never paid

00:50:05attention to before.

00:50:07In the first few years

00:50:09after Sophie joins our family,

00:50:11I'm still in the photos

00:50:12fairly often.

00:50:13But the farther he goes,

00:50:14the farther to the side

00:50:15I am in each photo.

00:50:17Birthdays,

00:50:17Christmas,

00:50:18family vacations.

00:50:19In some of the group photos,

00:50:21I'm not even there anymore.

00:50:23Dad looks at the photos

00:50:24for a long time

00:50:25before finally calling

00:50:26Mom over.

00:50:27Helen,

00:50:28have you noticed something?

00:50:30What?

00:50:32Aaron starts disappearing

00:50:33from the photos

00:50:34after Sophie moves in.

00:50:35Mom goes through each photo,

00:50:37the color slowly draining

00:50:38from her face.

00:50:39In some photos,

00:50:40I'm standing nearby,

00:50:41but no one asks me to join.

00:50:43Other times,

00:50:44while they were busy

00:50:45celebrating with Sophie,

00:50:46I was the one holding

00:50:47the camera

00:50:47or standing just

00:50:48outside the frame.

00:50:52Dad finally picks up

00:50:54a Christmas photo

00:50:54of the four of them.

00:50:56She was always there.

00:50:59He looks at the photos

00:51:00and his voice drops.

00:51:03We just never pointed

00:51:04the camera at her.

00:51:06Meanwhile,

00:51:07back in New Mexico,

00:51:08I've just received

00:51:08a notice that I've been

00:51:09selected for the

00:51:10Research Center's

00:51:10annual award.

00:51:12Award list,

00:51:13Core Algorithm Project

00:51:14Aaron Carter.

00:51:15While I appear

00:51:16less and less

00:51:17in my family photos,

00:51:18my name appears

00:51:19more and more often

00:51:20at the top

00:51:21of Project Reports.

00:51:26That same night,

00:51:28Ryan finds a number

00:51:28in my college alumni directory.

00:51:33He calls a woman

00:51:34I'd been close to

00:51:36during college.

00:51:37Hello, I'm Ryan,

00:51:38Aaron's brother.

00:51:40Have you been in touch

00:51:41with her over

00:51:41the past few years?

00:51:43There is a long pause

00:51:44on the other end

00:51:45of the line.

00:51:47You're her brother?

00:51:48Yes.

00:51:50We haven't been able

00:51:51to find her

00:51:51since she left home.

00:51:53Instead of answering,

00:51:54she asks him a question.

00:51:56Do you know how she

00:51:58moved into her dorm

00:51:58that day?

00:52:01Ryan goes silent.

00:52:03My classmate tells him

00:52:04that I had five large boxes

00:52:05to carry into my new dorm room

00:52:07on the sixth floor

00:52:07and there was no elevator.

00:52:10Ethan had promised to help,

00:52:11but he never showed up.

00:52:12No one from my family

00:52:13came either.

00:52:15In the end,

00:52:15a few young women

00:52:16from my class

00:52:17helped me carry

00:52:17everything upstairs.

00:52:21She ran out of strength

00:52:22halfway up,

00:52:23so she sat on the stairs

00:52:24and cried for a while.

00:52:26We asked if she wanted

00:52:27to call her family,

00:52:28but she said no.

00:52:29She said they were all busy.

00:52:32She wiped her tears

00:52:33and kept going.

00:52:34Ryan stays silent

00:52:35for a long time.

00:52:36My classmate seems to sense

00:52:38that something is wrong.

00:52:40What were you guys

00:52:40doing that day?

00:52:42Her boyfriend and parents

00:52:43weren't there

00:52:44and neither were you.

00:52:47After a long silence,

00:52:48Ryan finally remembers.

00:52:50He knew I was moving

00:52:51in that day,

00:52:51but Sophie had wanted

00:52:52new curtains,

00:52:53so he spent the entire

00:52:54afternoon shopping with her.

00:52:56He even took pictures

00:52:57of the pink floral curtains

00:52:58and posted them

00:52:59in the family group chat

00:53:00so everyone could help choose.

00:53:02Meanwhile,

00:53:03at that precise moment,

00:53:04his sister was carrying

00:53:05five boxes

00:53:06up six flights of stairs.

00:53:08Erin even made excuses

00:53:10for all of you,

00:53:11saying that you were just busy.

00:53:12But every time

00:53:13she needed someone,

00:53:14it seemed like she had

00:53:14to handle everything

00:53:15on her own.

00:53:16After the call ends,

00:53:18Ryan sits in his room

00:53:19for a long time.

00:53:20He had always assumed

00:53:21that because I didn't

00:53:22throw a tantrum

00:53:22and rarely asked for help,

00:53:24I've simply been tougher

00:53:25than Sophie

00:53:26since I was a kid.

00:53:28But now,

00:53:28he finally understands.

00:53:30It wasn't that

00:53:31I didn't need anyone.

00:53:32It's just that after

00:53:33being left waiting

00:53:34so many times,

00:53:34I eventually stopped

00:53:36waiting altogether.

00:53:37And when Ryan remembers

00:53:39that afternoon

00:53:39he spent helping

00:53:40Sophie choose curtains,

00:53:42he can no longer

00:53:43bring myself to say

00:53:44he doesn't know.

00:53:47It has been three years,

00:53:49but Ethan still has

00:53:50our old messages

00:53:50saved on his phone.

00:53:52That day,

00:53:52he scrolls all the way back

00:53:53to the beginning

00:53:54of our conversation.

00:53:55For the first time,

00:53:56he realizes who had been

00:53:57the one keeping

00:53:58the relationship alive.

00:54:01When I told him

00:54:02I was tired

00:54:02from working on a project,

00:54:04he'd only reply

00:54:04a few hours later,

00:54:06telling me to get some rest.

00:54:07I used to ask

00:54:08if he had eaten

00:54:08or how work was going,

00:54:09but he rarely

00:54:10asked me the same.

00:54:11Back then,

00:54:12those conversations

00:54:12seemed insignificant

00:54:13on their own.

00:54:14But seeing them all together,

00:54:15even Ethan can no longer

00:54:16convince himself

00:54:17that he's simply

00:54:18been too busy.

00:54:19Eventually,

00:54:20he stops at the messages

00:54:21from our third anniversary.

00:54:22Sophie's really upset.

00:54:24I didn't want to

00:54:24leave her there alone.

00:54:25Can we celebrate

00:54:26our anniversary another day?

00:54:28Right below

00:54:28is the photo

00:54:29he'd taken

00:54:30of himself and Sophie.

00:54:31Only now does he realize

00:54:32that he stood me up

00:54:33on our anniversary

00:54:34and even sent me

00:54:35a photo of another woman.

00:54:36It has been raining

00:54:37all night.

00:54:38On his way home,

00:54:39he notices a small restaurant

00:54:41near the college,

00:54:42one I've mentioned

00:54:42countless times.

00:54:44Extra Spicy Chicken Sandwich.

00:54:46He finally remembers

00:54:47that I don't have

00:54:48a sweet tooth

00:54:49and that spicy chicken sandwich

00:54:50is my favorite.

00:54:52Ethan walks inside

00:54:53and orders it to be made

00:54:54at the highest spice level.

00:54:57The first bite is so spicy

00:54:58that he has to keep

00:54:59drinking water.

00:55:00Still,

00:55:01he finishes the entire thing.

00:55:03For three years,

00:55:04he has been hearing me

00:55:05talk about the things

00:55:06I liked.

00:55:06It isn't until three years

00:55:08after my departure

00:55:08that he finally makes

00:55:09the effort to learn

00:55:10about them.

00:55:12Some things can still

00:55:13be made right

00:55:13when you realize

00:55:14them too late.

00:55:15But once someone

00:55:16stops waiting,

00:55:17all that's left

00:55:18is regret.

00:55:19Ethan throws

00:55:19the food wrapper away

00:55:20and sits in his car

00:55:22for a long time

00:55:23without starting

00:55:23the engine.

00:55:24The windshield wipers

00:55:25sweep back and forth

00:55:27through the rain.

00:55:27for the first time,

00:55:29he has no idea

00:55:30who he can share

00:55:31this belated realization with.

00:55:36By the fourth year

00:55:37of the project,

00:55:37I finally have a research

00:55:38team of my own.

00:55:39I used to sit toward

00:55:40the back of the room

00:55:41during meetings,

00:55:41listening as everyone else

00:55:42assigned the tasks.

00:55:43Now, I sit at the head

00:55:44of the conference table.

00:55:45The junior researchers

00:55:46come to me whenever

00:55:47they need help

00:55:47with their models.

00:55:49Aaron,

00:55:49there's still some bias

00:55:51in the high cross-wheeled data.

00:55:52Shall we rerun

00:55:53the simulations?

00:55:54Not yet.

00:55:55Pull up the first three

00:55:56data sets and compare them.

00:55:57If the error keeps showing up

00:55:59in the same range,

00:56:00the problem might not

00:56:00be the model.

00:56:02Got it.

00:56:03I watch them leave

00:56:04and suddenly realize

00:56:05how much has changed.

00:56:06I'm no longer the same person

00:56:07who arrived here

00:56:08four years ago

00:56:09with nothing but a backpack.

00:56:10Stunned to hear

00:56:11that everyone

00:56:11has been expecting me.

00:56:12Now, people wait

00:56:13for my judgment

00:56:14and they trust my decisions.

00:56:15Luke is still the same.

00:56:16When the project

00:56:17runs into problems,

00:56:18he stays up late with me.

00:56:19When I forget my meals,

00:56:21he leaves food on my desk.

00:56:22But he never holds

00:56:23these things over my head.

00:56:24He never makes me feel

00:56:25like I owe him anything

00:56:26for helping me.

00:56:27One day,

00:56:28a colleague jokes with him.

00:56:29Luke,

00:56:29you do so much for Erin.

00:56:31Does that mean

00:56:32she has to buy you dinner

00:56:33for the rest of your life?

00:56:34Since when do coworkers

00:56:35keep score?

00:56:37If we did,

00:56:37I'd probably never be able

00:56:38to repay her

00:56:39for all the help

00:56:39she's given me.

00:56:40I smile without saying

00:56:41I smile without saying

00:56:42a single thing.

00:56:45For the longest time,

00:56:47I believed that

00:56:47whenever someone

00:56:48was kind to you,

00:56:49you had to repay them

00:56:50eventually.

00:56:51It isn't until I'm here

00:56:52that I realize

00:56:53that when someone

00:56:53truly respects you,

00:56:54they don't make you feel

00:56:56like you owe them

00:56:56for their kindness.

00:56:57I later learned that

00:56:58around the same time

00:57:00my family has started

00:57:01moving on with their lives.

00:57:02Mom is still in therapy,

00:57:04Ryan's back at work,

00:57:06Sophie is living on her own,

00:57:07and Ethan is still single.

00:57:09I know none of this.

00:57:10I rarely think

00:57:11about the past anymore.

00:57:13At the end of that year,

00:57:15the five-year project

00:57:15enters its final

00:57:16evaluation stage.

00:57:21I've just finished a meeting

00:57:22when I receive

00:57:23several new emails.

00:57:27Luke stands behind me,

00:57:29glancing over my shoulder

00:57:30at the screen.

00:57:32It looks like you're not

00:57:33the one looking

00:57:33for a job anymore.

00:57:35I look at him.

00:57:36You've got plenty

00:57:37of options now.

00:57:37The offers show

00:57:38across my screen.

00:57:39For the first time,

00:57:40the choice is mine.

00:57:44By the spring

00:57:45of our fifth year,

00:57:46we complete the project's

00:57:47final evaluation

00:57:48ahead of schedule.

00:57:49When the final review ends,

00:57:50I stand in the conference room

00:57:52and watch each set of data

00:57:53get checked off the screen.

00:57:54For a moment,

00:57:55I think back

00:57:55to my first day here,

00:57:56when even seeing my name

00:57:57on my dorm room door

00:57:58felt strange.

00:57:59Five years have passed.

00:58:01I've gone from

00:58:01a fresh graduate

00:58:02to a researcher

00:58:03who's capable

00:58:03of leading a team.

00:58:05Headquarters wants you

00:58:06to stay.

00:58:06For the next

00:58:07independent project,

00:58:08you can choose

00:58:09your own research topic

00:58:10and build your own team.

00:58:11I nod.

00:58:11I'll give it

00:58:12some serious thought.

00:58:13The truth is,

00:58:13I already have several

00:58:14offers in my inbox,

00:58:15including a new agreement

00:58:16from the research center itself.

00:58:17The more choices I have,

00:58:18the clearer I became

00:58:19about what I want to do next.

00:58:20On the day I clear out

00:58:21my office,

00:58:22Luke leans against the doorway,

00:58:24watching me pack.

00:58:24You're going back

00:58:25to Portland?

00:58:26Yeah.

00:58:27Did your family

00:58:28finally get in touch?

00:58:29I shake my head.

00:58:29For five years,

00:58:30I haven't reached out

00:58:31to them or given them

00:58:32my address.

00:58:33It isn't because

00:58:33I'm punishing them.

00:58:34I simply don't know

00:58:35what's left to say.

00:58:36Now,

00:58:37I can think about Portland

00:58:38without feeling hurt.

00:58:43I have some time

00:58:44before my next job starts.

00:58:45I want to go back

00:58:46for a while.

00:58:48Are you going

00:58:48to forgive them?

00:58:52I don't know.

00:58:53I really don't,

00:58:55but I was sure

00:58:55about one thing.

00:58:56I'm not going back

00:58:57because I want an apology

00:58:58that's five years too late

00:58:59or to move back

00:59:00into that house.

00:59:01I just want to deal

00:59:02with that part of my life

00:59:02once and for all.

00:59:03Luke nods

00:59:04and does impress me further.

00:59:05Go ahead.

00:59:06Whether you see them

00:59:07or forgive them

00:59:07is up to you.

00:59:08The next day,

00:59:09I hand over

00:59:10the final batch

00:59:10of materials

00:59:11and receive

00:59:12the research center's

00:59:13new agreement.

00:59:14I didn't sign it

00:59:15right away,

00:59:15but I didn't turn

00:59:16it down either.

00:59:17Instead,

00:59:17I put the document

00:59:18into the same backpack

00:59:19I had brought with me

00:59:20five years ago.

00:59:21Back then,

00:59:22it only held

00:59:23a few sets of clothes,

00:59:24my identification,

00:59:25and my onboarding documents.

00:59:26Now,

00:59:27it carries my laptop,

00:59:28my research certificates,

00:59:29and a future

00:59:30that truly belongs to me.

00:59:32When I reach the facility gates,

00:59:33Luke is already waiting

00:59:34with his car keys.

00:59:35The airport is two hours away.

00:59:37I'll give you a ride.

00:59:38I'm about to get in

00:59:39when he asks me a question.

00:59:41Aaron,

00:59:41when you're done

00:59:42with everything back there,

00:59:43are you coming back?

00:59:46I look at him,

00:59:47but don't answer him

00:59:48right away.

00:59:51Luke asks

00:59:52if I'm returning

00:59:52to New Mexico

00:59:53once I've taken care

00:59:54of everything in Portland.

00:59:55I look at the familiar desert

00:59:57and don't hesitate for long.

00:59:59I will.

01:00:00Luke visibly relaxes

01:00:01his grip on the steering wheel.

01:00:02This place is my second home now.

01:00:04He hums an agreement

01:00:05and doesn't ask

01:00:06about my family again.

01:00:07Instead,

01:00:08he keeps telling me

01:00:08how much everyone

01:00:09will miss me

01:00:10and reminds me

01:00:11that if the cactus

01:00:11in my office dies,

01:00:12it'll definitely be my fault.

01:00:15And Mary from the cafeteria

01:00:16was asking yesterday

01:00:17when you'd be back.

01:00:18I'm only going back

01:00:19to Portland for a while.

01:00:20I never said

01:00:21I wasn't coming back.

01:00:23Who knows?

01:00:24With all those offers

01:00:25you're getting,

01:00:26maybe you'll decide

01:00:27that you've had enough

01:00:28of this desert.

01:00:28I can tell

01:00:29that he's joking,

01:00:30but I still reassure him.

01:00:31Don't worry.

01:00:32I'll be back.

01:00:33At the airport,

01:00:33I step out of the car

01:00:34with the same backpack

01:00:35I'd carried with me

01:00:36five years ago.

01:00:37Back then,

01:00:38I had brought it with me

01:00:39when I left Portland

01:00:39because I wanted to get away

01:00:41as far as possible.

01:00:42Five years later,

01:00:43I'm finally willing

01:00:43to return

01:00:44and see what I left behind.

01:00:45By the time

01:00:45the plane lands,

01:00:47it's already afternoon.

01:00:48Portland looks almost

01:00:49exactly the way

01:00:50I remember it,

01:00:51but I no longer feel

01:00:52like I have nowhere to go.

01:00:54I don't return

01:00:55to the Carter residence.

01:00:57Instead,

01:00:57I go to the university

01:00:58to see Professor Lawson.

01:01:03It's been five years.

01:01:06It looks like

01:01:06I made the right call

01:01:07recommending you.

01:01:09If you hadn't given me

01:01:10that opportunity,

01:01:12I might not be

01:01:13where I am today.

01:01:14Professor Lawson

01:01:15shakes her head.

01:01:15An opportunity

01:01:16is just a door.

01:01:18You're the one

01:01:19who walked through it.

01:01:23After leaving the university,

01:01:25I checked into a hotel.

01:01:26I don't tell anyone

01:01:27that I'm back in town.

01:01:28That evening,

01:01:29I go to the restaurant

01:01:30I used to visit

01:01:31all the time.

01:01:34The menu has changed

01:01:35quite a bit,

01:01:36but the spicy chicken sandwich

01:01:37is still there.

01:01:38The spiciest level?

01:01:39I pause before smiling.

01:01:40Yes.

01:01:41The familiar heat

01:01:42hits me with the first bite.

01:01:44Suddenly,

01:01:44I realize just how long

01:01:45five years really is.

01:01:47I'm halfway through

01:01:48the sandwich

01:01:48when the restaurant door opens.

01:01:50A woman walks in,

01:01:52carrying a tray.

01:01:52As she passes my table,

01:01:54she suddenly stops.

01:01:55I look up.

01:01:56She's much thinner now,

01:01:57dressed in a simple jacket

01:01:58with her hair pulled back.

01:01:59She looks almost nothing

01:02:00like the girl

01:02:01who once lived

01:02:01in the nicest bedroom

01:02:02in the house

01:02:03surrounded by people

01:02:04who cared for her.

01:02:05But I recognize her immediately.

01:02:06Sophie recognizes me too.

01:02:08Her hands tremble

01:02:09as they grip the tray.

01:02:10She stares at me

01:02:10for a long time

01:02:11before finally calling out my name.

01:02:13Erin.

01:02:14Five years later,

01:02:16Sophie is the first person

01:02:17I run into

01:02:18when I return to Portland.

01:02:22Five years have passed

01:02:23since I last saw Sophie.

01:02:25Neither of us

01:02:26say anything for some time.

01:02:27Eventually,

01:02:28I point to the empty chair

01:02:29across me.

01:02:30Sit.

01:02:30Sophie looks surprised

01:02:31that I'm willing

01:02:32to talk to her.

01:02:32She tentatively takes a seat,

01:02:34setting down her tray

01:02:34as quietly as possible.

01:02:35Only then do I get

01:02:36a good look at her.

01:02:37Five years ago,

01:02:38her wardrobe was always

01:02:39packed with new outfits.

01:02:40Her room was filled

01:02:41with things Mom and Ryan

01:02:42were constantly buying for her.

01:02:44Now,

01:02:45the jacket she's wearing

01:02:46is slightly worn

01:02:46and the edges

01:02:47of her canvas bag

01:02:48are frayed.

01:02:49When did you get back?

01:02:50Today.

01:02:51Did you go home?

01:02:53Not yet.

01:02:53She lowers her head

01:02:54and fidgets with the paper cup.

01:02:56After a while,

01:02:57she finally tells me

01:02:58that after leaving

01:02:58the Carter residence,

01:02:59she looked into

01:03:00her father's death herself.

01:03:02What Mark said was true.

01:03:03My father wasn't the one

01:03:05who saved Ryan.

01:03:06I don't say a single word.

01:03:07I used to think

01:03:08that as long as I never

01:03:09deliberately took anything

01:03:10from you,

01:03:11none of it was my fault.

01:03:12I never asked for the room

01:03:13or the gifts

01:03:14and Ethan was the one

01:03:16who chose to spend time

01:03:17with me.

01:03:17She looks up at me,

01:03:18but after you left,

01:03:19I realized that you were hurting.

01:03:21She had asked Ethan

01:03:22whether I'd be upset

01:03:23about the family group chat.

01:03:28When we moved

01:03:28into the new house,

01:03:30she knew that I didn't

01:03:31have a room of my own.

01:03:32But every time

01:03:33someone told her

01:03:33that I wouldn't mind,

01:03:34she chose to believe them.

01:03:37Erin, I'm sorry.

01:03:38I never meant

01:03:38to take anything from you,

01:03:40but I know I've benefited

01:03:41from things that came

01:03:42at your expense.

01:03:43The room, the gifts,

01:03:44the way everyone

01:03:45always favored me.

01:03:46I wouldn't have had any of it

01:03:47if you hadn't kept

01:03:48putting me first.

01:03:48Tears roll down her cheeks,

01:03:50but unlike before,

01:03:51she doesn't wait

01:03:52for someone to defend her.

01:03:53I look at her and realize

01:03:54that I don't feel

01:03:54that suffocating pain anymore.

01:03:56Back then,

01:03:57I always thought Sophie

01:03:57was the one

01:03:58who had taken my place,

01:03:59but now I understand

01:04:00that she was just a child

01:04:01who had lost her father.

01:04:02Constantly being told

01:04:03by the adults around her

01:04:04that she deserved all of it.

01:04:05She was never the one

01:04:06making those decisions

01:04:07on her own.

01:04:08I hand her a tissue

01:04:08from the table.

01:04:09Sophie, you were just a kid too.

01:04:11She freezes for a moment

01:04:12and cries even harder.

01:04:13You don't hate me anymore?

01:04:15I don't answer her immediately.

01:04:17Because after five years,

01:04:18I truly don't want

01:04:19to hate her anymore.

01:04:20But that doesn't mean

01:04:21I can pretend

01:04:22that none of it ever happened.

01:04:26Sophie asks me

01:04:27if I don't blame her anymore.

01:04:29I look at her tear-streaked face.

01:04:31Unlike before,

01:04:32I don't immediately dismiss it

01:04:33just to make everyone else

01:04:34feel better.

01:04:35I don't hate you anymore.

01:04:37Sophie visibly relaxes.

01:04:39But that doesn't mean

01:04:39that we can erase what happened.

01:04:41I'm not going to chase anyone

01:04:43for an explanation,

01:04:44and I don't expect her

01:04:45to spend the rest of her life

01:04:46making it up to me.

01:04:47But those ten years

01:04:48really happened,

01:04:50and I don't want to

01:04:51simply dismiss

01:04:51everything that happened

01:04:52and pretend I'm okay with it.

01:04:54Sophie's quiet for a moment

01:04:56before finally nodding.

01:04:57I understand.

01:04:58She doesn't try to explain herself

01:05:00or make excuses

01:05:01for what happened.

01:05:02The fact that you don't hate me

01:05:03is already more

01:05:04than I could have hoped for.

01:05:05I have no right

01:05:06to ask for anything else.

01:05:07For the first time,

01:05:09there's a sense of ease

01:05:10between us.

01:05:11After a while,

01:05:12she tells me that my family

01:05:13never truly stopped

01:05:14looking for me

01:05:15over those five years.

01:05:16At first,

01:05:17Mom spent almost every day

01:05:18trying to find out

01:05:19where I was.

01:05:20It wasn't until

01:05:20she started therapy

01:05:21that she gradually

01:05:22stopped searching

01:05:23so desperately.

01:05:24Ryan has reached out

01:05:25to some of your

01:05:26old classmates, too.

01:05:27As for Ethan,

01:05:28Sophie only has one thing

01:05:29to say about him.

01:05:30He still hasn't moved on.

01:05:32I take a sip of water.

01:05:36That's his problem.

01:05:37Sophie looks at me,

01:05:38but doesn't try to defend him.

01:05:40That surprises me.

01:05:44Five years ago,

01:05:45whenever I had a problem

01:05:46with someone,

01:05:46there was always someone

01:05:47else telling me

01:05:48that the other person

01:05:49had their reasons

01:05:49and that I should try

01:05:50to be more understanding.

01:05:51But now,

01:05:52Sophie simply nods.

01:05:53Yeah.

01:05:54You don't have to see

01:05:55anyone you don't want to.

01:05:56I've waited years

01:05:57to hear those words.

01:05:58I finally realized

01:05:59that respect isn't about

01:06:00deciding who I should forgive.

01:06:01It's about acknowledging

01:06:02that the choice

01:06:03is mine to make.

01:06:03The restaurant is getting

01:06:04ready to close,

01:06:05so we leave together.

01:06:06Before we part,

01:06:07Sophie hesitates

01:06:07for quite some time.

01:06:10Erin,

01:06:10may I ask you something?

01:06:13Sure.

01:06:14Helen has been waiting

01:06:15for you all these years.

01:06:16She doesn't know

01:06:17where you live

01:06:17and she doesn't know

01:06:19if you'll ever come back.

01:06:20I won't tell her

01:06:21which hotel you're staying at

01:06:22and I won't bring them

01:06:23to you either.

01:06:24I just want to know

01:06:25if I can tell her

01:06:25that you're back in Portland.

01:06:26I don't answer right away.

01:06:28Five years ago,

01:06:29all I wanted was for Mom

01:06:30to notice my absence,

01:06:31but now it's up to me

01:06:33whether she knows I'm back.

01:06:34After a moment,

01:06:34I nod.

01:06:35Sure.

01:06:35Sophie starts tearing up again,

01:06:37but I say one more thing.

01:06:38Just tell her that I'm back.

01:06:40I'll decide what happens next.

01:06:42Okay.

01:06:43She agrees without hesitation.

01:06:45For once,

01:06:45no one gets to decide

01:06:46my next steps,

01:06:47and now I get to decide

01:06:49whether I'm ready to face

01:06:50what I left behind

01:06:51five years ago.

01:06:55Not long after I part ways

01:06:56with Sophie,

01:06:57my phone rings.

01:06:58When I see the familiar number

01:07:00on the screen,

01:07:02I stare at it for some time

01:07:04before answering the call.

01:07:05Neither of us says anything

01:07:07right away.

01:07:08Five years have passed,

01:07:10and I've almost forgotten

01:07:11what Mom's voice sounds like

01:07:12when she says my name.

01:07:13But when she finally speaks,

01:07:15her voice still catches me off guard.

01:07:17Erin, her voice is much raspier

01:07:20than I remember.

01:07:20Sophie told me you're back

01:07:22in Portland.

01:07:23Yes.

01:07:25Another long silence

01:07:26stretches between us.

01:07:28I expect her to ask me

01:07:29where I'm staying,

01:07:30or start telling me

01:07:31what to do next,

01:07:32just like she used to.

01:07:34But this time,

01:07:35she asks tentatively.

01:07:37Would you be willing

01:07:38to see me?

01:07:40I don't answer right away.

01:07:42Five years ago,

01:07:43Mom never asked

01:07:44what I wanted.

01:07:46She made every decision

01:07:47for me,

01:07:47and seemed to think

01:07:48that she knew better

01:07:49than I did

01:07:50about how much

01:07:50I should have

01:07:51to put up with.

01:07:52But now,

01:07:53she's asking me

01:07:54what I want.

01:07:54If you don't want

01:07:55to see me,

01:07:56I won't come looking for you.

01:07:58I just want to know

01:07:59if you've been doing okay.

01:08:01I lean against

01:08:02the hotel window

01:08:02and look down

01:08:03at the lights below.

01:08:07Tomorrow.

01:08:10There's an audible pause

01:08:11on the other end of the line.

01:08:18I'll come over tomorrow.

01:08:19I'll come over tomorrow.

01:08:20Mom sounds like

01:08:20she wants to pick me up,

01:08:21but she catches herself.

01:08:23Sure.

01:08:23Whenever you're ready,

01:08:24I'll be here.

01:08:25After I hang up,

01:08:26I sit by the window

01:08:27for a long time.

01:08:28Later,

01:08:29Sophie tells me

01:08:30that Mom barely slept

01:08:31that night.

01:08:32The next morning,

01:08:33for the first time,

01:08:34she prepares lunch

01:08:35based entirely

01:08:36on my preferences.

01:08:37She goes through

01:08:38our old messages

01:08:39just to confirm

01:08:40that I like spicy food.

01:08:42You actually had to look

01:08:43through the messages

01:08:43to find out?

01:08:44Mom doesn't argue.

01:08:46She only answers quietly.

01:08:47I never bothered

01:08:48to remember previously.

01:08:54In the end,

01:08:54she makes a spicy

01:08:55chicken sandwich

01:08:56and places it

01:08:57right in the middle

01:08:58of the dining table.

01:09:02The next afternoon,

01:09:04I put on my blue coat

01:09:05and leave the hotel.

01:09:06When the cab stops

01:09:07at the familiar corner,

01:09:08I look at the house

01:09:09and am suddenly transported

01:09:11back to the morning

01:09:12I left.

01:09:12That day,

01:09:13I carried nothing

01:09:14but a backpack.

01:09:15I was so afraid

01:09:16of making a sound

01:09:17that I barely closed

01:09:18the door behind me.

01:09:19And now,

01:09:20I'm standing here again.

01:09:21I no longer

01:09:22have to sneak around

01:09:23and I don't have to worry

01:09:24about anyone

01:09:25telling me to leave.

01:09:26I walk up

01:09:26to the front door.

01:09:28Before I can even

01:09:29ring the doorbell,

01:09:30it opens from the inside.

01:09:32Mom is standing

01:09:33in the doorway.

01:09:34Five years have passed.

01:09:35Most of her hair

01:09:36has turned gray.

01:09:37from the kitchen

01:09:38behind her

01:09:38wafts the familiar

01:09:40spicy aroma

01:09:41of chili.

01:09:45When the door opens,

01:09:47Mom and I stand

01:09:48facing each other

01:09:48in the doorway

01:09:49for a long moment.

01:09:50When I left

01:09:51five years ago,

01:09:52she only had a few

01:09:52strands of gray hair.

01:09:54Now,

01:09:54she looks as if

01:09:55she has aged

01:09:55a decade overnight.

01:09:57Her lips quiver.

01:09:58In the end,

01:09:59she only manages

01:09:59to say my name,

01:10:01Erin.

01:10:01The next moment,

01:10:02her knees buckle

01:10:03and she nearly

01:10:04collapses.

01:10:05I instinctively

01:10:06reach out

01:10:06to steady her.

01:10:07Mom,

01:10:08be careful.

01:10:09The fact that

01:10:09I still call her

01:10:10Mom makes her

01:10:11eyes fill with tears.

01:10:12But unlike before,

01:10:13she doesn't tell me

01:10:14that family

01:10:15shouldn't hold grudges.

01:10:16She simply squeezes

01:10:17my hand and lets go.

01:10:19I'm sorry.

01:10:20I was the one

01:10:21who decided that

01:10:21you didn't need

01:10:22a bedroom.

01:10:23I kept asking you

01:10:24to give things up

01:10:24for Sophie.

01:10:25I used to think

01:10:26that because you

01:10:27were my daughter,

01:10:27it was okay for you

01:10:29to sacrifice yourself.

01:10:30But I was wrong.

01:10:33I don't answer her.

01:10:35Instead,

01:10:35I simply change

01:10:36my shoes

01:10:36and walk inside.

01:10:40Dad is already

01:10:41in the living room.

01:10:42Before you left,

01:10:43I saw how unfairly

01:10:45you were being treated.

01:10:46But I chose

01:10:47to remain silent.

01:10:48I finally realized

01:10:49that staying quiet

01:10:50is also a decision.

01:10:52Ryan has been standing

01:10:53at the other end

01:10:53of the hallway.

01:10:54He only walks over

01:10:55when I notice him.

01:10:57I was the one

01:10:57who told you to leave.

01:10:59He lowers his head.

01:11:02Aaron,

01:11:03I'm sorry.

01:11:04He doesn't bring up

01:11:05the supposed debt anymore

01:11:07or ask me to be understood.

01:11:08I look at all of them

01:11:09for the first time.

01:11:11I feel that the hurt

01:11:12I carried all those years

01:11:13is finally being acknowledged

01:11:15rather than dismissed.

01:11:16Mom doesn't ask

01:11:17whether I've forgiven them.

01:11:19She only speaks softly.

01:11:20Are you hungry?

01:11:21I made you something.

01:11:23It's the spicy chicken sandwich

01:11:24on the dining table.

01:11:26I'm not sure

01:11:26if your taste has changed.

01:11:27You don't have

01:11:28to force yourself.

01:11:29I sit down

01:11:30and take a bite.

01:11:31Mom watches me nervously.

01:11:33Well,

01:11:34it's pretty good.

01:11:36Her eyes immediately

01:11:37fill with tears.

01:11:39I don't tell them

01:11:40it's fine

01:11:40nor do I tell them

01:11:41I've forgiven them

01:11:42but this time

01:11:43she doesn't pressure me

01:11:44for an answer.

01:11:45When I'm done eating

01:11:46I get up

01:11:47and take my plate

01:11:48to the kitchen.

01:11:49As I walk down

01:11:49the hallway

01:11:50I suddenly stop

01:11:51in my tracks.

01:11:52The door to the storage room

01:11:53is still open.

01:11:57After lunch

01:11:58I walk down the hallway

01:11:59and see that the storage room door

01:12:01is still open.

01:12:02I step inside.

01:12:03Everything is exactly

01:12:04the way it was

01:12:05five years ago.

01:12:06The plan to tear down

01:12:08the walls

01:12:08and expand Sophie's

01:12:09walk-in closet

01:12:10never happened.

01:12:11The camping mat

01:12:12and cleaning supplies

01:12:13are still at the same spot.

01:12:15Mom doesn't come in.

01:12:16Instead,

01:12:17she just stands

01:12:17in the doorway.

01:12:18I never let anyone

01:12:19touch this room

01:12:20after you left.

01:12:21She pauses for a moment.

01:12:23I used to think

01:12:24that if I leave

01:12:25the door open

01:12:25you'd come back someday

01:12:27but now

01:12:28I realize

01:12:28that whether you come back

01:12:29or not

01:12:30isn't up to me.

01:12:31I look at the old

01:12:32camping mat.

01:12:33To my surprise

01:12:34I don't feel trapped anymore.

01:12:36Five years ago

01:12:37this room had felt

01:12:37like their answer to me.

01:12:39Now it's just a place

01:12:40that belongs to the past.

01:12:42This room can't trap me anymore.

01:12:45I gently close

01:12:45the door behind me.

01:12:48Just then

01:12:49the doorbell rings.

01:12:50Ryan opens the door.

01:12:52Then he freezes.

01:12:53I follow his gaze.

01:12:54Ethan is outside.

01:12:55He's lost a lot of weight.

01:12:56He's holding a bouquet

01:12:57of blue hydrangeas.

01:12:59My favorite color.

01:13:00Ethan sees me

01:13:01and visibly tightens

01:13:02his grip around the bouquet.

01:13:03Aaron.

01:13:04He looks like

01:13:05he has plenty to say

01:13:06but when he speaks

01:13:07only a single sentence

01:13:08comes out.

01:13:10I'm sorry.

01:13:11I look at the flowers

01:13:13and feel calm.

01:13:14Five years ago

01:13:15I would have been overjoyed

01:13:16that he finally remembered.

01:13:17But now

01:13:18remembering doesn't make up

01:13:19for being too late.

01:13:23Ethan stands in the doorway.

01:13:25The bouquet of blue hydrangeas

01:13:27shaking slightly in his hands.

01:13:29Over the past five years

01:13:30he's finally taken the time

01:13:31to learn the things about me

01:13:32he never really bothered

01:13:34to learn before.

01:13:35But now that he's actually here

01:13:36I don't need those

01:13:38belated gestures anymore.

01:13:39Aaron.

01:13:40I've spent the past five years

01:13:41wondering

01:13:42wondering if things

01:13:42would have been different

01:13:43if I'd listened a little more

01:13:44or if I'd stood by you

01:13:46just one more time.

01:13:47He doesn't try to explain

01:13:48his mistakes.

01:13:50Instead

01:13:50he simply admits

01:13:52that he took my patience

01:13:53for granted.

01:13:54It wasn't until

01:13:55you actually left

01:13:56that I realized

01:13:57how much I'd taken

01:13:58your feelings for granted.

01:13:59If I had heard those words

01:14:00five years ago

01:14:01I probably would have cried.

01:14:03Now

01:14:03I simply look at him.

01:14:06Aaron.

01:14:06I know I don't have the right

01:14:07to ask you to forget

01:14:08about the past

01:14:09but if I show you

01:14:10that I can love you

01:14:10the way you deserve

01:14:12can we start over?

01:14:13I don't hesitate.

01:14:14No.

01:14:16His fingers tighten

01:14:17around the bouquet.

01:14:19Do you still hate me?

01:14:20No.

01:14:21He looks stunned.

01:14:24Ethan

01:14:24you didn't betray me

01:14:25or deliberately hurt me.

01:14:26You just didn't

01:14:27love me enough.

01:14:28It's not a crime

01:14:29so I don't need to hate you.

01:14:32Ethan starts to cry.

01:14:33Then why can't we start over?

01:14:35I know I was wrong.

01:14:37Because realizing

01:14:38that you were wrong

01:14:39won't give me

01:14:39those three years back.

01:14:41I look at him.

01:14:43I don't want to be

01:14:44anyone's second choice anymore.

01:14:46I don't want to spend

01:14:47my future trying to make up

01:14:48for what should have

01:14:49happened five years ago.

01:14:50What if I've really changed?

01:14:52That's a good thing.

01:14:53But that's your future

01:14:54not ours.

01:14:55I don't accept

01:14:56the blue hydrangeas.

01:14:57Instead I take a step back.

01:14:58Ethan finally lets it go.

01:15:00The door slowly closes.

01:15:01Mom walks over

01:15:02from the other end

01:15:03of the hallway.

01:15:03She doesn't ask

01:15:04why I won't give Ethan

01:15:05another chance.

01:15:06She simply pulls me in

01:15:07for a hug.

01:15:08From now on

01:15:08just go wherever you want.

01:15:10This time

01:15:11no one asks me to stay

01:15:12or decides what's best for me.

01:15:13I close my eyes

01:15:14and rest against

01:15:15mom's shoulder

01:15:16for a moment.

01:15:17This long overdue hug

01:15:18finally comes

01:15:19with no strings attached.

01:15:23I don't move back in

01:15:25with my family.

01:15:26For the next three days

01:15:27I stay at the hotel

01:15:29only returning occasionally

01:15:30to have dinner with them.

01:15:32No one asks me

01:15:33why I won't stay.

01:15:35Some relationships

01:15:36can be repaired

01:15:37over time

01:15:38but that doesn't mean

01:15:39they have to return

01:15:40to the way they were.

01:15:42Three days later

01:15:42I head to the airport

01:15:43as planned.

01:15:44Mom walks me

01:15:45all the way to security.

01:15:46Is your new project

01:15:48going to keep you busy?

01:15:48I think so.

01:15:50She nods

01:15:51then reaches out

01:15:52and hugs me.

01:15:53Then go do what you love.

01:15:54Come home whenever you want.

01:15:56And if you don't want to

01:15:57that's okay.

01:15:58Just go wherever you want.

01:16:00I lean against her shoulder

01:16:01without saying

01:16:02a single word.

01:16:03Five years ago

01:16:04when I left

01:16:04all I wanted

01:16:06was to get away

01:16:06as far as possible.

01:16:08This time

01:16:08I leave with a lightness

01:16:10I've never felt before.

01:16:12When I land in New Mexico

01:16:13Luke is already

01:16:15waiting at the exit.

01:16:16he takes my luggage

01:16:17and tries to sound casual.

01:16:20Has everything

01:16:21been taken care of?

01:16:22Pretty much.

01:16:23What about your ex?

01:16:24I look at him.

01:16:25There's no ex

01:16:26chasing after me.

01:16:27Only someone

01:16:28who has finally realized

01:16:29where he went wrong.

01:16:30Luke visibly relaxes

01:16:31then he clears his throat.

01:16:33I was just asking.

01:16:35Right.

01:16:36He doesn't say anything else

01:16:38but his ears

01:16:39turn a little red.

01:16:40Once we're on

01:16:41the desert highway

01:16:42Luke seems to

01:16:43remember something.

01:16:44There's a new place

01:16:45near the base.

01:16:46They sell spicy

01:16:46chicken sandwiches.

01:16:47I tried it for you.

01:16:49It's actually pretty good.

01:16:50I can't help but laugh.

01:16:51When did you start

01:16:52researching all this?

01:16:54Recently.

01:16:55The sun slowly sinks

01:16:57over the desert

01:16:57painting the sky

01:16:58a deep orange.

01:16:59I roll down the window

01:17:00the familiar wind

01:17:02rushes in

01:17:02dry and gritty

01:17:04carrying the scent of sand.

01:17:06Five years ago

01:17:07I left Portland

01:17:08because I didn't have

01:17:08a room of my own.

01:17:10Back then

01:17:10I thought that

01:17:11if no one was willing

01:17:12to make room for me

01:17:13I had no choice

01:17:14but to leave.

01:17:15But five years later

01:17:16I finally understand.

01:17:18If a place truly

01:17:19belongs to me

01:17:20it should never have to

01:17:21come at someone else's

01:17:22expense.

01:17:23This time

01:17:24I'm not running away.

01:17:25I'm walking toward

01:17:26the life I choose

01:17:27for myself.

01:17:29I'm not running away.

01:17:30I'm not running away.

01:17:30I'm running away.

My Family Never Saved a Place for Me - DRAMA FULL EPISODE ENGLISH SUB

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