00:00Funny, this is a satirical sketch comedy show where you need a strong, tough, edgy female voice.
00:05Just out of interest, how many female writers were there in the Dave Davies show?
00:09You know what, that was an earlier time, and I wish we did have a couple of female comedy writers.
00:14It would have made the show stronger.
00:16Not funnier, but stronger.
00:18What do you call a deer in a forest with no eyes?
00:22No idea!
00:24There you go, you like no one?
00:25Boney says you're threatened by having a female writer.
00:27Oh, Judas.
00:28I love women. I love them individually, I love them collectively.
00:32They're strong, they're invincible, they're not funny.
00:34Oh, that is just sexist.
00:36I'm not sexist, I'm a realist.
00:38You want to know why there are no women writers on most comedy shows?
00:41Because women aren't funny.
00:42There, I said it, I'm the bad man who tells the truth.
00:45This show needs a female writer.
00:47Why? Other shows don't.
00:49Have you ever seen The Daily Show or Letterman win an Emmy for writing?
00:5213 guys get up on stage and one woman.
00:54She's the producer.
00:55There's plenty of funny women.
00:56Julia Louis-Dreyfus was funny in Seinfeld.
00:58Yeah, that's because Larry David was writing all her lines.
01:01I mean, there are a lot of funny female actors,
01:02but pretty much no funny female comedians or writers.
01:05And he says,
01:06Oh, I thought you said pianist!
01:10There you go.
01:11Sorry, I can't bear this.
01:13Now, did you hear about this?
01:15Men and women are as funny as each other.
01:17Really?
01:18Okay, let's list funny people.
01:20Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Gary Shandling, Jerry Seinfeld.
01:22What do they have in common?
01:23They're all circumcised.
01:24They're all men.
01:25Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Mike Myers, Bill Cosby, Chris Rock, Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Ricky Gervais.
01:30I just don't think the jesters need a warm-up guy.
01:32Think of the warm-up guy's showbiz lubricant, Michael.
01:35It'll make it easier for our jokes to penetrate the audience.
01:38That's disgusting.
01:39So is the warm-up guy.
01:40The other day, I went to the zoo.
01:42I paid a fortune to get into the zoo.
01:45It only had one animal.
01:47It was a shit zoo!
01:49Jonathan Winters, Dan Aykroyd, Martin Short.
01:51Jerry Lewis is not a woman.
01:52What's the point for them?
01:53I could just as easily make a list of funny women.
01:56Go ahead.
01:58French and Saunders, the early stuff,
01:59they got a bit carried away with those movie parodies towards him.
02:02Vicar of Dibley, that was a bit slow for my...
02:05Dame Edna!
02:06It's a man, Zach.
02:07It's what the government wants you to think.
02:09Um, Lucille Ball.
02:11I'm not saying no women are funny.
02:13Tina Fey is funny.
02:15So are Roseanne, Lily Tomlin, Elaine May, Sarah Silverman,
02:17Victoria Wood and Ellen DeGeneres, and that's it.
02:20I don't think any of them are going to write for us.
02:22We're getting a female writer, Steve.
02:24We're keeping the warm-up guy, Michael.
02:25But why?
02:26I've always said that's why Monty Python weren't funny, no women writers.
02:29Shut up, Steve.
02:30There's no reason the Beatles weren't much good either.
02:32You listen to this crap.
02:33We're on in 30.
02:34Female writer, warm-up guy, deal with it.
02:38And so the young nun says,
02:40Oh no, not the breathalyser again!
02:44Anybody done any travelling recently?
02:47I just flew in from Adelaide.
02:48I bet your arms are fucking tied.
02:50And now, ladies and gentlemen,
02:52it's time to introduce the stars of our show,
02:55those crazy guys,
02:56the Jester!
02:59The Jester!
03:01The Jester!
03:02Who?
