00:00You know, I was sitting here contemplating exactly what to talk about today and thought
00:08that, you know what, there's something about Jesus that I think a lot of people need to
00:13hear, especially if you've ever felt pressure to become what other people expect you to
00:20be.
00:21Maybe people expect you to always be strong.
00:25Maybe they expect you to always have the answer.
00:28Maybe they only seem to appreciate you when you're helping them, providing for them, fixing
00:36something for them, or being the version of yourself that makes their life easier.
00:42And after a while, you can start losing sight of who you actually are.
00:48And that's why something about Jesus matters so much here.
00:54Jesus constantly had people trying to define him.
00:59Some wanted him to be a political leader.
01:02Some wanted him to be a miracle worker.
01:05Some wanted him to feed them.
01:08Some wanted him to overthrow Rome.
01:11Some wanted him to fit their religious expectations.
01:15Even the people closest to him sometimes had an idea of who they thought he should be.
01:24But Jesus, well, thankfully, Jesus never allowed other people's expectations to become his identity.
01:34Think about how powerful that actually is.
01:38After Jesus fed thousands of people, the crowd became so excited they wanted him to become king.
01:47Most of us would probably think, this is it.
01:51This is the moment.
01:54Everybody finally sees my value.
01:57But Jesus, well, he just walked away.
02:02Why?
02:03Because they wanted to make him into something he had not come to be.
02:07And maybe you need to hear that today.
02:12You know what?
02:13Not every opportunity is your opportunity.
02:17Not every invitation is your assignment.
02:21Not every person who applauds you actually understands you.
02:28Sometimes, well, sometimes people celebrate the version of you that benefits them.
02:35And they love you when you're available.
02:38They love you when you say yes.
02:40They love you when you're solving their problems.
02:44They love you when you fit neatly into what they need.
02:49And then, the moment you set a boundary, change direction, or say,
02:55that's not who I am,
02:57suddenly, they do not understand.
03:00Kind of sounds like being the father of two teenage girls.
03:05You know, Jesus understands that feeling.
03:09He knew what it was like to be surrounded by people
03:12who wanted something from him
03:14while completely misunderstanding his mission.
03:18And that means that you
03:20do not have to feel guilty every time someone is disappointed
03:25because you did not become who they wanted you to become.
03:31There's a difference between disappointing someone
03:34and doing something wrong.
03:36Those are not always the same thing.
03:39Sometimes, disappointment is simply what happens
03:43when you stop living according to someone else's expectations.
03:49Peter did something similar with Jesus.
03:52Pay attention here.
03:54Peter correctly recognized that Jesus was the Messiah.
03:58But when Jesus explained that suffering, rejection, and sacrifice
04:03were going to be part of what was coming ahead,
04:07Peter pushed back.
04:08Peter had an image in his mind of how the Messiah was supposed to operate.
04:14Victory was supposed to look a certain way.
04:18Power?
04:19Well, power was supposed to look a certain way.
04:23And success?
04:24Well, success was supposed to look a certain way.
04:29But God's plan looked different.
04:32And maybe your life looks different, too.
04:35Maybe by now you thought you'd be further ahead.
04:39Or maybe you thought the marriage would have happened.
04:43Maybe the career would have already taken off.
04:47Maybe the business would have succeeded already.
04:51Your health would be better.
04:54Your family would look different.
04:56You thought the prayer would have been answered already.
05:00And because life did not unfold the way you imagined,
05:05you started wondering whether something had gone wrong.
05:08But Jesus reminds us that God's path does not always resemble the path that people expect.
05:17Sometimes, obedience looks slower than ambition.
05:22Healing takes longer than you wanted.
05:26The right decision costs you popularity.
05:30Sometimes doing what God is asking you to do means
05:34walking away from something everyone else thinks you should chase.
05:39Jesus did not measure his life by whether everyone understood him.
05:46And neither should you.
05:48One of the hardest things you will ever learn is that some people may never understand the decisions God is
05:55leading you to make.
05:57And you still have to make them.
06:00There were even moments when crowds walked away from Jesus.
06:04Now I want you to think about that.
06:07Jesus had people leave.
06:11Huh?
06:12But Jesus had people misunderstand him.
06:16Jesus had people criticize him.
06:19Jesus had people reject what he thought.
06:23And he did not immediately change himself to get everybody back.
06:28That's important.
06:30Because I think that many of us spend enormous amounts of emotional energy
06:35trying to keep everybody happy.
06:39We replay the conversations.
06:42I do it.
06:43We wonder whether someone is upset.
06:46We worry about what they're saying.
06:49You know what?
06:50We change our decisions because somebody might criticize us.
06:55We say yes when we want to say no.
06:58I do that.
06:59We stay silent when something needs to be said.
07:03And I do that too.
07:05You know, we stay in situations that are draining us because we're terrified of being misunderstood.
07:12But I want you to look at Jesus.
07:14He loved people completely without allowing people to control him.
07:20And that may be one of the healthiest examples of love anywhere in scripture.
07:25Because love and people-pleasing are not the same thing.
07:32Love sometimes says yes.
07:35But also sometimes says no.
07:39Love sometimes stays.
07:42And sometimes it walks away.
07:45Love sometimes comforts.
07:48And sometimes it confronts.
07:52Jesus did all of those things.
07:54And that means that you're allowed to have boundaries and still be loving.
08:00You're allowed to protect your peace and still care about people.
08:04You're allowed to say, I cannot do that without becoming a bad person.
08:11You know, you're allowed to stop explaining yourself to people who have already decided not to understand you.
08:19And you're allowed to grow beyond the version of you that others have become comfortable with.
08:26And perhaps, most importantly, you're allowed to follow God even when nobody else fully understands where he is leading you.
08:43So, in other words, the source of his identity and authority was not coming from the system standing in front
08:52of him.
08:52There is something there for you too, my friend.
09:17You know, if your identity depends entirely on people approving of you.
09:24You will spend your life constantly adjusting yourself to keep their approval.
09:30But when your identity is anchored in God, something begins to change.
09:36You can listen to advice without being controlled by it.
09:40You can receive criticism without being destroyed by it.
09:45You can appreciate encouragement without becoming addicted to it.
09:49And you can love people without needing every one of them to understand you.
09:56That is freedom.
09:59And maybe today, God is inviting you to some of that freedom.
10:04Maybe you've spent too long trying to become the person everybody else expects.
10:10The perfect parent.
10:12The perfect spouse.
10:14The perfect employee.
10:17The successful one.
10:19The strong one.
10:21The reliable one.
10:23The person who never struggles.
10:26The person who never says no.
10:29But God?
10:30Well, God did not create you merely to satisfy the expectations of everybody around you.
10:37He created you to walk with them.
10:42And walking with them and him may sometimes require the courage to disappoint people.
10:50Jesus did.
10:51He walked away from crowds.
10:54He challenged friends.
10:56He refused false identities.
10:59He rejected shortcuts.
11:01And he stayed faithful to his mission even when people misunderstood him.
11:09And eventually, that faithfulness carried him all the way to the cross.
11:14So, if you're in a season where people do not understand you,
11:20do not immediately assume that means you are doing something wrong.
11:26Bring it to God.
11:28Ask him to correct you where you need correction.
11:33Ask him to humble you where you need humility.
11:36But also, ask him for the courage to walk when you know you are following him.
11:46That's important.
11:48It's important to keep walking when you know who you're following.
11:53You do not need everybody's permission to become the person God is calling you to be.
11:59You don't need everybody's applause.
12:02You don't need everybody to understand.
12:04You just need the courage to keep choosing truth over popularity,
12:09obedience over approval,
12:11and God's direction over everybody else's expectations.
12:16Jesus showed us what that looks like.
12:19And today, you can begin doing the same.
12:23You can love people deeply without handing them control over your identity.
12:28You can serve people faithfully without becoming whatever they demand.
12:34You can care about what people feel without allowing their feelings to become your compass.
12:42And you can trust that the God who created you knows exactly who you are becoming,
12:49even when everybody else still sees who you used to be.
12:57Truth.
12:59My name is Douglas Vandergraaf, and I believe in Jesus Christ.
13:05God bless every single one of you.
13:10Every single one.
13:12And everyone you love.
13:16Bye-bye.
13:19Bye-bye.
