Dad Advice: Managing Your Money! Listener Questions

Stefan Molyneux

Philosopher Stefan Molyneux gives dad advice on managing your money and answers listener questions about staying calm, calling creditors early, and cutting spending on things that do not last. He also covers when debt makes sense, teaching kids about money, and why spouses should share finances.  Questions:  "How to avoid panicking when the financial going gets tough and avoiding desperate maneuvers like high interest loans, making the situation worse. Are there ways to negotiate with creditors to get them off of your back"   "I would like to hear you talk about how involving your kids (even really young ones) in (age appropriate) financial discussions and decisions can help parents stay consistent and clear in their personal/family finances. I find that explaining and involving kids in finances gives the greatest motivation to be thoughtful and have a life long approach to money and investments. Both because it’s a reminder that all we do is for them. But also because they are fantastic at pointing out any potential inconsistencies that we don’t want to see 😉"   "What kind of debt is justifiable to accrue? Is there a form of debt that is unjustifiable per UPB?"   "Hi Stef. I find that financial situation is very often a reflection of one’s way of living in general. How to deal with situations where you finally start to get ahead in financial terms due to many years of learning the game, long term thinking and delayed gratification, but often family and friends who have bad financial situations due to their life choices, start to pull you back. They call you stingy, always say how you’re missing on lif...  0:00:00 Money Foundations 0:02:30 Debt and Panic 0:05:00 Spend Less, Live More 0:24:03 Teaching Kids Money 0:33:57 What Debt Is Worth 0:38:33 Handling Saver Pressure 0:45:18 Stop Showing Off 0:48:30 When to Borrow 0:50:59 Tax Returns and Benefits 0:51:36 Raising Savers 0:52:55 Shared Finances in Marriage 0:54:48 Work, Hobbies, and Purpose 0:57:22 Parental Money Strings 0:57:44 Balancing Saving and Living 1:00:33 Safe Investing Choices 1:00:50 Using Big Platforms  Support philosophy! https://freedomain.com/donate/  GET FREEDOMAIN MERCH! https://shop.freedomain.com/  SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux  Follow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1  GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK! https://peacefulparenting.com/  Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!  Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!  You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!  See you soon! https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/FREEDOMAIN202

Transcript

00:00:00Hi, everybody. It's Stefan Molnou from Freedomain. So I'm sorry it took me a little while to get to these.

00:00:03These are listener questions about finances. This is from freedomain.locals.com.

00:00:11Now, why should you listen to me about finances? Well, you shouldn't. Of course, I'm not a financial advisor. None

00:00:17of this is financial advice. Make your own decisions. Do your own research. Talk to financial advisors.

00:00:22This is really just the sort of dad-style philosophy of money that I kind of wish I'd gotten a

00:00:27hold of when growing up, as I did without a father.

00:00:30So these are just general principles that I live by. Maybe they're helpful for you. Maybe not. But again, none

00:00:35of this is financial advice. I'm telling you what to do with your money.

00:00:38So why should you listen to me? Well, I've been dirt broke. I've made some money. So I have some

00:00:44experience on, I mean, obviously not the top of the equation, but the middle and the bottom of the equation.

00:00:50And I suppose I've managed things okay. And so I've had, obviously, a lot of thoughts over the years about

00:01:03money, right?

00:01:04Money, of course, is stored value, stored time, stored energy, and potential energy. And it is a fascinating, fascinating topic.

00:01:13And, you know, what are the things people fight about? They fight about money, and they fight about love, and

00:01:19its various manifestations, sex, and commitment, and so on.

00:01:23And what are the two things you need to do to be successful in life, in a material sense, or

00:01:29in a sort of psychological sense?

00:01:31Well, you have to have a decently meaningful occupation, and you have to be in love.

00:01:37That love and work are sort of the two sides of the coin. Now, of course, we, who are into

00:01:42philosophy, also have stimulating moral good in society, and so on, all of those kinds of things.

00:01:47But, you know, work and love are the two things, and they're often referenced by money and marriage and children,

00:01:54right?

00:01:54So these are things that are very, very important in life. Most of us don't get to go on big

00:01:59moral crusades in the world, but as far as practical virtues,

00:02:05falling and staying in love and pair-bonded is essential for life's happiness. We are social animals. We are not

00:02:11designed to be isolated.

00:02:12We fragment and go mad on our own.

00:02:14And number two is things cost money, and you have to have a good relationship with money and savings and

00:02:21spending in order to have a life of reasonable comfort and security.

00:02:26So these are very important philosophical topics.

00:02:28So let's dive in. How to avoid panicking? This is a question.

00:02:32How to avoid panicking when the financial going gets tough and avoiding desperate maneuvers like high-interest loans making the

00:02:41situation worse?

00:02:43And are there ways to negotiate with creditors to get them off your back?

00:02:46In general, of course, I remember I had a friend when I was younger who was so in debt that,

00:02:54this is sort of back before cell phones,

00:02:56you had to call, let it ring three times, and then hang up, and then call, let it ring once,

00:03:01and then hang up.

00:03:02And then he would pick up the phone because he was being hounded by so many creditors.

00:03:06If you've ever had someone who owes you money, and most of us, certainly when you grow up poor, someone

00:03:13usually has a bit of cash, other people don't.

00:03:15So there's sort of little interdepartmental loans that go on among my friend groups and I.

00:03:21If you've ever had someone who owes you money, then them being in communication with you is the key.

00:03:26If they start dodging you, it's really frustrating, and it's really annoying, and it does raise all kinds of alarm

00:03:31bells in your head.

00:03:32So if you're in debt, yeah, I mean, absolutely call people, be proactive, and come up with some kind of

00:03:41plan.

00:03:42And of course, if you need to involve third parties, that's fine too.

00:03:45But in general, it's important to stay in contact with the people you owe money to and not dodge them.

00:03:51I understand that it's stressful, but it's going to be more stressful if they end up escalating.

00:03:56So in general, I'm a big fan of honesty and communication when it comes to financial dealings.

00:04:01I don't think I've ever been in a situation, a lot of it's luck.

00:04:06I don't think I've ever been in a situation where I need, I owe someone money and I can't pay.

00:04:13I have definitely hit the wall financially when I was younger.

00:04:17Like, you're just out of money.

00:04:19Like, there's nothing coming in, and renders do.

00:04:21And that was actually a very beneficial thing for me,

00:04:24because I basically kind of freaked out about running out of money.

00:04:29It was really one of the few times in my life that I think the only time maybe that that

00:04:33had happened.

00:04:35And it really drove me to work very, very hard to get my first programming job,

00:04:40and it got me started on this whole tech career thing.

00:04:43So it was actually a very, very good thing.

00:04:45Stuff that is tough at the time when you look backwards,

00:04:48you say either it wasn't as tough as I thought it was,

00:04:51or you say it actually put me in a better direction overall.

00:04:54So try not to judge the good or bad of things until some time has passed.

00:05:01So how do you avoid panicking when financial going gets tough?

00:05:07So philosophy in general is about prevention rather than cure.

00:05:10It's nutrition, not surgery, so to speak.

00:05:12So the skill and art of living with money is to lower consumption.

00:05:24You can't be happy in life if you consume too much.

00:05:31And lowering consumption, being happier with less is really important.

00:05:36You know, I love my life.

00:05:37I have a great life.

00:05:38One of the times that I was happiest was when I was completely broke.

00:05:42I was doing my graduate degree at the University of Toronto,

00:05:47and I had my own little desk in the library.

00:05:52I could take books out as long as I wanted.

00:05:53I would wake up.

00:05:54I would go read great books on philosophy.

00:05:56I worked on a thesis that I ended up getting an A in.

00:06:00It was really challenging.

00:06:02Analyzing four major philosophers with a particular thesis.

00:06:06It was a huge project, and it took me forever to find a thesis advisor

00:06:11who was willing to take on such a big project.

00:06:13And it was a great time.

00:06:16It was a great time.

00:06:17I had nothing.

00:06:19My rent was $275 a month.

00:06:23I lived in a house with five other people.

00:06:25I biked everywhere.

00:06:28I used to make these giant vats of food and then just keep them in the fridge and just nibble

00:06:32all day.

00:06:33I remember there was, in the student newspaper, you could get two-for-one Subway sandwiches.

00:06:38So I'd go to Subway.

00:06:39I'd get two-for-one meat and extra toppings, and I'd just cut them up, and I'd have four dinners

00:06:45for, you know, like five bucks or six bucks or something like that.

00:06:48Like, I had nothing.

00:06:50I had nothing.

00:06:51I didn't go to the dentist.

00:06:52I had nothing.

00:06:53It was a great time.

00:06:55I got to go to the gym.

00:06:56I played squash with friends.

00:06:58I mean, it was really nice.

00:06:59It was a really nice time.

00:07:00And I had nothing.

00:07:00Now, of course, you can't raise a family like that.

00:07:02I get all of them.

00:07:02Well, you can, but it's a little tricky.

00:07:05And so more money doesn't make you happier if you inflate your spending.

00:07:12Like, I remember somebody I was in business with many years ago went from, I tripled my

00:07:19salary in a year as an entrepreneur, and I remember a friend of mine I was working with

00:07:28also had a big increase in salary, and maybe because he was married to a somewhat acquisitive

00:07:34woman.

00:07:34But what happened was when his salary went up, his spending went up, and I remember saying

00:07:39to him, like, bro, you're not wealthier if you just spend more, you know, like your salary

00:07:44doubles, and his expenses more than doubled, because he was like, woohoo, it's going to

00:07:47go on from here.

00:07:48I'm like, eh, you know, winter is coming.

00:07:50You never know, right?

00:07:51Especially in the entrepreneurial world, up and down like the Assyrian Empire.

00:07:55So restraining acquisitiveness, restraining spending is foundational to life.

00:08:04If, if you have a wife, and it's interesting, because if you have a wife, she will want to

00:08:10spend more, but a lot of the things that she'll want to spend on go up in value, you know,

00:08:14like if you remodel the kitchen, or if you buy a bigger house, or whatever you want to

00:08:17do, or whatever she wants to do, those things can actually add value, whereas, of course,

00:08:22men are like, well, we spend less, but a lot of stuff we spend on goes down in value.

00:08:27If power tools go down in value, computers, electronics go down in value, cars go down in value,

00:08:33value, so it's also, I divide things into a couple of categories when it comes to spending.

00:08:40One is things that are cheap, but fun, and, you know, if you want to, you're driving someplace,

00:08:49you've got a little bit of time, and you just want to go play some mini golf with your wife,

00:08:53or whatever, your family, go play some mini golf, it'll be like 30, 40 bucks, and it'll

00:08:57be fun, it'll be fun memory, and all of that.

00:08:59So those things are relatively cheap, but fun.

00:09:02Things that are expensive, but fun.

00:09:04I knew a guy once, he was older than me, and I was in business with him too.

00:09:09He went on a cruise that was, and this is way back in the day, it was $15,000 per

00:09:18person.

00:09:19So he and his wife spent $30,000, not even including flights, $30,000 to go on a cruise for

00:09:2510 days.

00:09:26Now that's expensive, I suppose it's fun, you could not pry that kind of spending out of me

00:09:30with a crowbar, but, I mean, I don't know, unless you're a zillionaire or whatever, but

00:09:37things that are expensive and fun are off the list for me as a whole.

00:09:41Cheap but fun, sure, whatever, right?

00:09:43Things that are cheap and necessary, of course, you get those, right?

00:09:48Groceries, relatively cheap, not so much anymore, but relatively cheap but necessary.

00:09:51You need to pay for your internet, your heating.

00:09:53Relatively cheap compared to like $30,000 on a cruise, and you have to.

00:09:57Now things that are expensive and necessary, you know, the more expensive they are, the

00:10:03more you have to question whether they're necessary or not, and, you know, do you need

00:10:11a self-driving electric car?

00:10:12It seems to come at a bit of a premium, although very high-quality cars, do you need it, or

00:10:17is

00:10:17it not that necessary?

00:10:19So the more expensive things get.

00:10:20Shelter, of course, I mean, you need it, and it can be very expensive, but there's a wide

00:10:25variation in what you can spend.

00:10:27The best way to feel richer is to feel happier with less.

00:10:33And a lot of times, people who lack meaning, people who lack purpose, people who lack love,

00:10:40people who lack grounding in quality relationships, those people end up spending to fill up the

00:10:47hollowness of their existence.

00:10:49So one of the things that I absolutely love to do with friends is play cards.

00:10:54And my daughter actually invented a game, which was really Elements of Sevens, which is really

00:11:01a good game.

00:11:02And we play a game called Cheat, which is part psychological and part cards.

00:11:07Some friends of ours, we play the game, Settlers of Catan, Seafarers, expansion.

00:11:12We're doing that this Sunday.

00:11:16So what does a deck of cards cost?

00:11:18I mean, a couple of bucks?

00:11:20And you can get thousands of hours of enjoyment out of that.

00:11:24Rather than going out to a restaurant, you know, everyone picks up some stuff, and you

00:11:28make, you have like a potluck at someone's house.

00:11:33For me, if you have great conversation, it really doesn't matter where you are.

00:11:37You know, for many years, I have friends who, what we do is we just, we get together and we

00:11:46just chat.

00:11:47And we don't have to go anywhere.

00:11:49We don't have to do anything.

00:11:51We just get together and chat and maybe play some cards and so on.

00:11:56So you can, if you have quality relationships and good conversations, you don't really need to spend that much.

00:12:04Investing time in relationships saves money in spending.

00:12:10Another thing, of course, is, I don't mean to be Mr. Moral Lecturer here, don't drink.

00:12:18Just don't drink.

00:12:19I mean, I'm not going to say, I'm not a total tea totaler.

00:12:24I had some, I had half a glass of wine the other night.

00:12:29I would drink maybe a light beer or maybe half a glass of wine once a month and whatever, right?

00:12:36So I'm not like completely dry, but it's, it's negligible.

00:12:40I mean, I have, I have, I should probably throw these out.

00:12:44I have dusty liquor bottles that my wife had when we got married.

00:12:48They're still not.

00:12:49That was just a quarter century ago.

00:12:50They're still not empty.

00:12:51We should probably get rid of those.

00:12:53Come to think of it.

00:12:53If you got to blow the dust off, it may not be the finest drink experience.

00:12:59So if you don't drink and if you have great conversations and you can enjoy spending time

00:13:07with friends, playing cars and so on or other games, you know, when we had friends over of

00:13:15my daughter's, my wife would set up obstacle courses in, in the local park, right?

00:13:20And, and it was a great fun.

00:13:21So we didn't need to go to a, um, a big expensive theme park or, or something like that.

00:13:29I mean, I think occasionally we would go to Canada's Wonderland or something, but for the

00:13:34most part, it was a just, uh, just fun stuff.

00:13:38Things like when I was a kid, Dungeons and Dragons was a fantastic game because it's free.

00:13:44I mean, you, you pay for a couple of rule books and you get years of entertainment and enjoyment

00:13:49out of that.

00:13:50And so things like that can be really enjoyable.

00:13:55Uh, things like, um, you know, if you get a little karaoke machine, you can get them for

00:13:59like less than a hundred bucks.

00:14:00You can have a lot of fun with that, particularly with younger people who can't necessarily go

00:14:04to karaoke and bars or something like that.

00:14:06So again, just finding ways to enjoy the quality of your relationships without having to spend

00:14:11a lot of money.

00:14:12That's really, really important.

00:14:14Vanity is very expensive.

00:14:16You know, you think of these crazy expensive purses or the guys who want their Rolex watches

00:14:20and so on.

00:14:22Wanting to show other people that you're very successful is one of the most expensive hobbies

00:14:28that you can imagine.

00:14:32And I mean, Jesus, see what happened with the dates, right?

00:14:35To some degree.

00:14:37So if you can be content with what you have, and if you can resist, it's an entirely natural

00:14:44urge to, to display.

00:14:46But if you can resist the urge to display wealth, to brag wealth, particularly as society becomes

00:14:54less high trust, it seems like a good idea.

00:14:58But if you're happy in your relationships and you don't need to quote, show off, and you

00:15:02know, it's a display, I'm not trying to condemn it or anything like that.

00:15:05But if you can resist the urge to show off in that kind of way, I mean, it saves you

00:15:12a massive, a massive amount of time and energy and money.

00:15:17There's other things that are cheap and very positive.

00:15:19So it depends how cheap you want to go with things like a gym membership.

00:15:24You got to do the cost benefit analysis.

00:15:27And a gym membership, you know, whether it's 25 bucks a month, if you're in the middle of

00:15:33nowhere, 50 bucks up to 100 bucks, or more even, you know, it's, it's, it's exercise,

00:15:39you get to meet hopefully quality people.

00:15:41If it's an expensive gym, you're going to meet people who have some education and income

00:15:45probably, and you're, you're healthy and, and so on.

00:15:49These things can be a good investment and so on.

00:15:52And so, sorry, every question won't get the same level of answers.

00:15:56But if you restrain acquisitiveness, right?

00:16:02If you restrain acquisitiveness, which is the desire to buy things for momentary pleasure

00:16:09that you're not going to use or enjoy much in the long run.

00:16:13If you can restrain acquisitiveness, that's the biggest raise that you can get because

00:16:18everything you buy, you buy with after tax income, which depending on your tax bracket

00:16:22and where you are can be 25 or 50% of like a premium, right?

00:16:28So everything costs kind of twice as much in a way.

00:16:31And if you are buying things on credit, it's even more brutal.

00:16:34So if you can find ways to resist the dopamine hit of acquisition, and instead of wanting to

00:16:41go buy something, you can go and do something fun with someone.

00:16:46I had neighbors many years ago who put a putting green in their backyard.

00:16:53And he said, well, it's not golf, but it's cheaper than a golf membership, which is kind

00:16:58of true.

00:16:59So in general, I'm fine to spend money on things that go up in value.

00:17:05I mean, buying a decent place to live because nobody can resist the lure.

00:17:11And the virtue signaling of mass migration, it means that the price of real estate is

00:17:15going to continue to go up.

00:17:17And the only way that the price of real estate will not continue to go up in the long run,

00:17:22in my humble opinion, is if the economy collapses or the boomers gain wisdom.

00:17:26And the economy collapsing is far more likely than the boomers gaining wisdom and being willing

00:17:30to sacrifice for the next generation.

00:17:31So those things, I think, are reasonably good to spend some money on.

00:17:37The quality of your surroundings is kind of important.

00:17:40I had a friend many years ago who he had, I think, a four-story home.

00:17:49He was in...

00:17:50I'm going to get into details.

00:17:52He had a four-story home.

00:17:53He rented out the top three floors and lived in the basement.

00:17:59And I mean, he's like, the house pays for itself.

00:18:01And it's like, but you live among pipes and insulation.

00:18:06I mean, there's a price for that.

00:18:09And having a nice environment, a decent environment, it's good for your mind space.

00:18:14It's good for your confidence and so on.

00:18:18But it is...

00:18:20You've got to find the Aristotelian mean in these things.

00:18:22If you hoard too much, you don't enjoy things.

00:18:25If you spend too much, you don't enjoy things.

00:18:27There's a sweet spot in the middle.

00:18:29You have more control over your desire to buy things than you have over your income.

00:18:35I mean, I have little control over my income.

00:18:41Freedomain.com slash donate if you could help out the show.

00:18:43I'd really, really appreciate it.

00:18:44I have very little control over my income.

00:18:46I used to put out these donation pitches.

00:18:49But this is back when I was a sort of more thunderously sky-spanning intellectual.

00:18:54And they would have some traction.

00:18:56It doesn't really happen as much anymore.

00:18:57I don't have much control over my income.

00:18:59People donate or they don't.

00:19:01It's tough to predict.

00:19:02I don't know, you know, deplatforming.

00:19:04And it's tough, right?

00:19:06So I don't have much control over my income.

00:19:08But I have control over how much I want to spend on things or how much I'm willing to spend

00:19:14on things.

00:19:15That's the single biggest variable is acquisitiveness.

00:19:18Of course, there's a baseline you have to have groceries, shelter, you know, heating, right, blah, blah, blah.

00:19:23So there's a baseline that you have to spend on.

00:19:25But everything above that, you'd be surprised how much, you know, if you walk through people's houses, that's sort of

00:19:30an interesting exercise to me.

00:19:32You walk through people's houses and you look at all of these things, you know, they have all these things

00:19:37on the shelves and they have all these things on the mantelpiece.

00:19:39They have all these things like all over the place, right?

00:19:42I told this story before.

00:19:43I had a friend when I was growing up, his mother liked ducks.

00:19:48And so every birthday, all ducks, everyone got her duck things.

00:19:53And everywhere you look, there were ducks.

00:19:55I had a strong suspicion she didn't particularly like ducks, but she didn't want to undo the sort of family

00:19:59folklore.

00:20:02But I mean, that's a lot of money to spend on ducks.

00:20:06And, of course, everything you spend is something you don't invest at hopefully 3% to 6% to maybe

00:20:118% return.

00:20:13So the thing that you spend $100 on now is going to be $1,000 or $2,000 or $3

00:20:19,000 by the time you retire in real terms if you invest it and you're young.

00:20:26So look through the tunnel of time.

00:20:28The cone, if you don't spend it now but you invest it or whatever it is, put it in something

00:20:32that grows, then it widens.

00:20:35It's like the value widens.

00:20:37It's sort of like this.

00:20:38It's old Dr. Phil where there was this woman who bought shoes and paid the minimum credit card.

00:20:42And it turned out the shoes cost like five times as much because she just paid the minimum.

00:20:46And so just say no.

00:20:49Just say no.

00:20:50And you can be a lot happier.

00:20:52And, of course, we all understand that the pleasure you will get in buying things, if it pushes you to

00:21:02an uncomfortable place financially in the long run, then the pleasure you get from buying things is more than offset

00:21:10by the stress of being broke or the stress of running out of money or the stress of debt.

00:21:14And so have consideration for your future self.

00:21:18Many years ago, I had a friend who would collect music.

00:21:27He would collect me.

00:21:28Like he would go to, there would be this big, this is Back Before or Streaming and all of that,

00:21:33but there were these big record shows.

00:21:41And you'd go to the record shows and you would find live versions.

00:21:45You know, oh, I went to this concert.

00:21:46I'd love to get the live version.

00:21:48And you'd buy the record.

00:21:49You couldn't open it or play it.

00:21:51It was sealed.

00:21:53And he bought movies, obscure movies that he liked.

00:21:57And he bought live albums.

00:21:59And he just had this whole war.

00:22:02This whole war of, I mean, tens of thousands of dollars he'd invested in this stuff.

00:22:09And I just remember one day he was looking at it and he was like, I can't possibly listen to

00:22:16or watch all this stuff.

00:22:17Why do I have it?

00:22:23And this is just when the internet was starting to really break out and you were starting to get stuff.

00:22:27And he's like, and I can't even sell it because it's all coming online anyway.

00:22:33Like, you know, you can go to a queen live in Tokyo in 1978.

00:22:38You know, this would be his sort of treasured blue record that cost him 50 bucks.

00:22:42And now you can just go stream it for nothing.

00:22:45I mean, it's not quite as high a quality, but, you know, the source material.

00:22:48And he'd buy these records and sometimes it would be like somebody just recorded it with a handheld tape recorder

00:22:53near the back.

00:22:54Just thumping and muffling and vague yelling.

00:22:56And, of course, you couldn't hear the band much over people cheering.

00:22:59Like that, the Rolling Stones, start singing, Midnight Rambler.

00:23:05Anyway, so he just felt a sort of great sadness and loss at having spent all of this money collecting

00:23:15things that now had no value.

00:23:16And if you look at things that have stressed you out because you bought them and now you're low on

00:23:23money or you're in debt, they glare at you like gargoyles.

00:23:28Like they look at you, you know, you resent them because it's like, if I hadn't bought you, I wouldn't

00:23:34have these financial issues and so on.

00:23:37You know, like the $3,000 laptop that, you know, has now sat in the closet for two years because

00:23:46it's too slow.

00:23:49You know what I mean?

00:23:50Like, so it's very tough to enjoy things if they cause you stress down the road.

00:23:56The pleasure of the buying is short-lived.

00:23:58The stress of the debt is much longer-lived.

00:24:02All right.

00:24:03I'll be faster, I promise.

00:24:04All right, I would like to hear you talk about how involving your kids, even really young ones, in age

00:24:09-appropriate financial discussions and decisions can help parents stay consistent and clear in their personal slash family finances.

00:24:15I find that explaining and involving kids in finances gives the greatest motivation to be thoughtful and live a life

00:24:19long approach to money and investments, both because it's a reminder that all we do is for them, but it's

00:24:24also, but also they are fantastic at pointing out any potential inconsistencies that we don't want to see.

00:24:31Yeah, I've talked about this before, so I'll keep this brief.

00:24:35But my daughter is a real saver.

00:24:38She is a saver.

00:24:39She hates to spend money.

00:24:41Now, one of the ways that we helped inculcate that was we would buy her things.

00:24:47I'll sort of give you an example.

00:24:48So we would be down in Niagara Falls or someplace, and, you know, they have these penny stamps, you know,

00:24:54and you stamp it and you get this penny and it's a little memento and so on.

00:24:58It's whatever.

00:24:59It's fine.

00:25:03But we bought her one, and I said, you know, you're happy with it, you're young, and so on.

00:25:10And then the next time she wanted to buy one, I said to her, I'm happy to pay for it,

00:25:15but you have to tell me where the last one is.

00:25:18Right?

00:25:19You have to tell me where the last one is.

00:25:21She got very interested, as a lot of kids do, in gems, you know, when she was younger.

00:25:25It's sort of a natural dwarven acquisitiveness or whatever it is.

00:25:27Maybe it's being short.

00:25:29But she ordered a fake diamond and a tiger's eye for her birthday, and I was happy to pay for

00:25:37that.

00:25:37And then when she wanted more gems, I was like, hmm, no problem.

00:25:41Can you tell me where the last ones are, you know, if you don't mind?

00:25:44And she couldn't remember where they were.

00:25:46And I'm like, see, that's the interesting.

00:25:48And I said, that's an interesting thing.

00:25:49It's not a condemned, oh, I see, you buy these things, you don't even use them.

00:25:51But it's an interesting thing.

00:25:53It's like you very much wanted these things, and now you don't know where they are.

00:25:59Like, that's interesting.

00:26:02It's not a criticism at all.

00:26:04Like, you never want to shame people.

00:26:05It's such a boring, right?

00:26:07But it's a really interesting phenomenon.

00:26:08This thing that I desperately, desperately wanted, I now couldn't for the life of me tell you where it is.

00:26:15And I said, and that's interesting.

00:26:17That relationship, like, you want it so much, it consumes you.

00:26:23But a month or two later, you don't even know where they are.

00:26:27I mean, you don't take them out.

00:26:29I said, and when was the last time, and again, this is not a criticism, I do it too.

00:26:32But when was the last time you took out that coin and looked at it?

00:26:37When was the last time you took out that fake diamond and that tiger's eye and looked at them?

00:26:43You know, and they weren't expensive.

00:26:44The tiger's eye, the diamond was like 30 bucks, and the coin was a couple of bucks.

00:26:49But I said, when was the last time you took pleasure in those things that you really, really wanted?

00:26:55And I said, listen, I do the same thing.

00:26:57I absolutely, I do the same thing.

00:27:01But it's important to just track what you spend and measure the pleasure, right?

00:27:06You can't get anywhere in life if you don't measure the pleasure.

00:27:10You got to measure the pleasure and see how long it lasts.

00:27:15And this is also about measuring the unhappiness, measuring it.

00:27:18I had a 1998 Volvo S70 Red.

00:27:22I got it for a business.

00:27:23It was on a car allowance.

00:27:25And once I was fixing some code, which made me late for therapy,

00:27:30I turned too quickly in the underground parking lot where I worked and scraped the side of the car.

00:27:35And I literally felt it, oh, down my own side.

00:27:38Oh, my baby.

00:27:39And, of course, that felt bad at the time.

00:27:41Actually, it ended up being a better thing for reasons.

00:27:43I ended up saving thousands of dollars for reasons I've talked about before.

00:27:46But, you know, that at the time was like, oh, man, that's terrible.

00:27:50I drive around this scraped car.

00:27:52What does it matter?

00:27:53The thing has been a small cube in a landfill for 10 or 15 years now.

00:27:59It doesn't matter.

00:28:01I'm not saying it didn't matter at all, but it doesn't matter in the long run.

00:28:03And you get that kind of perspective.

00:28:04But people need to give you that perspective to remember these things.

00:28:08So with kids, I am happy to buy my daughter things, but I wanted to have her measure the pleasure.

00:28:18Right?

00:28:18These things you desperately want, what is the long-term happiness?

00:28:23And I said, look, there's some things that you want that we take a lot of pleasure in.

00:28:28So we got one of these little plastic.

00:28:30You can make these little roller coaster things, and then the balls go down.

00:28:34And we spent hours doing that.

00:28:36And that was a blast.

00:28:36So I said, you know, the first game we ever played was Go, Go, Giraffe, where you spin things and

00:28:40you race.

00:28:41And I said, we played a lot of hours of that and so on.

00:28:44Some video game we bought that we played.

00:28:47Pixel Junk Shooters, I think it was called.

00:28:49We played that.

00:28:50It was a two-player game.

00:28:50We had a lot of fun with that.

00:28:51So I said, you know, some things are worth spending money on.

00:28:56And some things aren't.

00:28:57And it's different for everyone.

00:28:58I don't know what the answer is for everyone.

00:28:59There's some things I regret purchasing.

00:29:01But because I don't like to buy things as a whole, it's usually not too bad.

00:29:07But so measure the pleasure.

00:29:10Right?

00:29:11These things that you desperately want, are they worth it in the long run?

00:29:15Do they bring you pleasure in the long run?

00:29:17And the other thing that I did was, of course, put my daughter on an allowance when she was quite

00:29:21young, which is what happened with me.

00:29:22There were some expectations that she'd do some work around to get that allowance.

00:29:28And I would give her the allowance.

00:29:29And then she would spend it on things.

00:29:32And she would measure the pleasure.

00:29:34I said, there's pleasure in having money.

00:29:35There's pleasure in spending money.

00:29:36You've got to balance these two.

00:29:37If you spend all your money for things that don't give you much pleasure, you're unhappy.

00:29:41If you don't spend your money at all, it's kind of pointless to have it.

00:29:44So, you know, you probably want to spend a little.

00:29:46At some point, it doesn't have to be now.

00:29:49And so, for a while, if she wanted something more expensive, I would often match it.

00:29:53Actually, she would put in five bucks.

00:29:55I would put in five bucks or ten bucks, ten bucks or whatever.

00:29:57Right?

00:29:57And that diminished her desire to buy things.

00:30:01Because, you know, as long as you're like the socialist fantasy money printing parents, then you can want everything you

00:30:05want.

00:30:05The first thing you want to do is remind kids.

00:30:09Right?

00:30:09This is the basic principle that I was telling her when she was younger.

00:30:13Everybody wants everything, but all resources are finite.

00:30:17It's a basic principle of economics.

00:30:19Human desires are unlimited.

00:30:20Resources are limited.

00:30:21How do you organize and distribute resources through the price system, through the market, and so on?

00:30:26And so, yeah, she wants everything.

00:30:28And she would go into a candy store, and she'd want this, that, and the other.

00:30:30And I'd be like, man, I could fill up five bags with these and eat them before we got back

00:30:34home.

00:30:35And, you know, so you share that.

00:30:36But, you know, do you really want, you know, it's bad for your teeth, blah, blah, blah.

00:30:41Right?

00:30:41So, measure the pleasure is really, really important.

00:30:46You've got to track.

00:30:48What has your track record been of using money to buy sustained happiness?

00:30:56That's an interesting question.

00:30:58Right?

00:30:58When it comes to a wedding, right?

00:31:00It's a huge industry, and it's considered, you know, women get kind of gassed to the max by these semi

00:31:08-satanic wedding organizers and planners and so on.

00:31:11And, I mean, I think a nice wedding is good.

00:31:14Do you want to spend $40,000?

00:31:15That seems kind of deranged.

00:31:16If it's the parents, whatever.

00:31:18It's still less inheritance down the road.

00:31:20But is that something that's going to make you happy?

00:31:24There is actually an inverse correlation between the happiness of the marriage, the length of the marriage, and the size

00:31:30and expense of the wedding, right?

00:31:31The more size and expense of the wedding.

00:31:33Again, it's not causal.

00:31:34Maybe it's correlational or whatever.

00:31:35But there is a relationship.

00:31:36So what is your track record of buying things?

00:31:42So I bought a little Rio 500 music player with 64 megs of RAM.

00:31:52And it could hold, what, 15 songs?

00:31:5615 songs.

00:31:57So I bought that, but I used it a lot.

00:31:59I used it when I was at the gym.

00:32:00I used it walking around.

00:32:01And I enjoyed coming up with playlists and loading them up and so on.

00:32:04It was fun.

00:32:05I like music.

00:32:06So that was a worthwhile investment for me.

00:32:10It lasted a couple of years.

00:32:12I got a little memory expansion and so on.

00:32:15And so that was worth it for me.

00:32:18Music players are worth it for me.

00:32:20This is a, gosh, what is it?

00:32:24A seven or eight-year-old phone.

00:32:25Still works fine.

00:32:26I don't need to really upgrade it and so on.

00:32:28So, and if I did upgrade it, I'd be like, ooh, you know, just throwing something out that works well,

00:32:35getting something new.

00:32:36Maybe it works a little better, but I don't know that it makes a huge difference.

00:32:38It's not like I'm submitting my photographs to competitions or having art galleries or anything.

00:32:45So you've got to measure the pleasure of, and figure out how good are you at predicting spending versus saving

00:32:53and its effect on your happiness.

00:32:55So if you're, you know, my friend who bought tens of thousands of dollars worth of media that ended up

00:33:00as this, I remember he had this whole thing on the wall and it just, it bugged him.

00:33:03And every time he passed it by, he's like, ah, you know, like it became a, again, a gargoyle sitting

00:33:08on his conscience, so to speak.

00:33:10It weighed on him.

00:33:10It was heavy, right?

00:33:12And of course, if you buy some super expensive house you can't afford, then, you know, you're stressed and you

00:33:19don't walk around happier because you're stressed about overspending.

00:33:26You know, if you buy some super expensive car, then if you're worried about making the payments, you don't really

00:33:37enjoy the car.

00:33:38You look at that car and it's just like you're a source of trouble, not a pleasure, right?

00:33:41So you've got to measure the pleasure.

00:33:44How good are you at predicting long-term happiness over your spending?

00:33:47And we all, you know, make good and bad decisions about that, but it's just really important to measure the

00:33:51pleasure and adjust accordingly.

00:33:52So I hope that helps.

00:33:54I hope this stuff helps as a whole.

00:33:56What kind of debt is justifiable to accrue?

00:33:58Is there a form of debt that is unjustifiable per UPB?

00:34:02Well, it would be immoral to enter into a debt that you lacked confidence to repay.

00:34:08So in general, going into debt for that which increases in value is, that's not purely speculative, right?

00:34:17So if you go into debt, in my view, for things that are going to increase in value and you

00:34:23can make the payments, then that is a reasonable thing to do.

00:34:28So I went into debt to start a business, but the business grew and ended up employing like 40 people

00:34:33or 35 people.

00:34:34It's a good business, still running.

00:34:36And so I think that was a good investment.

00:34:39If you have bought a condo and the condo has gone up in value, or at least kept pace with

00:34:45inflation, because, you know, you stick your money in the bank, the endless frickin' bloodthirsty vampire mosquitoes of the central

00:34:52banks will just continually take your money away.

00:34:55So sadly, we're all chased into something that has to be investment worthy.

00:34:58Otherwise, our money just dies and dries out, right?

00:35:02It's like having a tub of water in the desert.

00:35:05It just dries away.

00:35:06Yeah, so if, and so I, what the things that I've invested in, I don't want to get into personal

00:35:13investments.

00:35:13I don't want to keep this philosophical.

00:35:15So, I mean, my only, it's not investment advice, but I just, I don't, I just buy stuff and forget

00:35:23about it.

00:35:24And you have to do that because otherwise your money dies on the vine.

00:35:26But I'm not a buy, sell kind of guy.

00:35:29I think chasing the market, I've seen a bunch of people do that.

00:35:32It's stressful.

00:35:33They get these crazy highs, these crazy lows, and you, in my view, nobody can beat the market.

00:35:39I mean, nobody can beat the market.

00:35:41And I mean, I remember when I worked in a stock trading company, there were companies that would move their

00:35:48entire offices to be slightly closer to the internet hub so their orders could go in like half a millisecond

00:35:54earlier.

00:35:54Like, it literally was that crazy.

00:35:56There's all this automated programming.

00:35:58You don't know what's going on.

00:35:59I wrote some of these programs back in the day in COBOL.

00:36:04So, in my view, you know, you can't beat the market.

00:36:08Some people are lucky.

00:36:09I get that.

00:36:10And some people, their luck creates their own sort of industry, like somebody who has a bunch of luck investing,

00:36:16then becomes wise and everyone follows him.

00:36:19So, what he buys goes up in value as a result of that.

00:36:21And maybe then some people with this parade of principle, deep kind of subterranean, listen to the train tracks, hear

00:36:29the train 100 miles away.

00:36:30They have this sort of weird ability, but very, very few people can beat the market.

00:36:37There's been studies from when I was younger that monkeys throwing darts at a newspaper had about as good a

00:36:43habit of picking stocks as professional stock pickers and so on.

00:36:46So, I don't believe in – my particular thing is trying to beat the market by buying and selling, sort

00:36:51of day trading or short-term trading.

00:36:55I buy some stuff and forget about it in general and just chuck in it once in a while.

00:37:01So, that's my particular approach.

00:37:05Again, I don't know what you should do, but that's my particular approach.

00:37:09So, yeah, debt.

00:37:11So, I invested in my education.

00:37:14I borrowed money for my education, which I think has been in general A+.

00:37:21Plus, the fact that I have a graduate degree in the history of philosophy has helped a little bit.

00:37:27I think it gave me some decent research abilities and so on, but I invested in that, turned out to

00:37:34be a good investment.

00:37:36When I got an inheritance from my grandmother when I was maybe 12, I bought a computer.

00:37:43I got $600, and my mother matched it.

00:37:46She had $600, which is amazing.

00:37:47And I bought an Atari 800, and I learned how to program and so on.

00:37:51And then later on, I became a programmer as an adult, which was fantastic because there was not a huge

00:37:56demand for people with history of philosophy degrees.

00:38:00So, investing in that computer was fantastic.

00:38:05And investing in my education was great.

00:38:08I think investing in a car with good safety features can be very helpful, and so on, side airbags and

00:38:15so on.

00:38:15If you get into some kind of accident, these things can be very helpful.

00:38:18Investing in going to the dentist, investing in exercise and so on.

00:38:22These are all things that pay off.

00:38:24So, but yeah, don't go into debt for things that aren't going to go up in value, in particular, if

00:38:30you are concerned about paying for them in the long run.

00:38:33So, next, high stuff, I find that financial situation is very often a reflection of one's way of living in

00:38:38general.

00:38:38How to deal with situations where you finally start to get ahead in financial terms due to many years of

00:38:43learning the game, long-term thinking and delayed gratification.

00:38:46But often family and friends have had bad financial situations due to their life choices start to pull you back.

00:38:51They call you stingy, always say how you're missing on life and not squandering the money, say what's the point

00:38:55of having money if you're not living their vision of enjoyment and so on.

00:38:58It can be quite an external pressure.

00:39:00I understand it is possible to just walk away, but some good responses on situations like these would be good

00:39:05to have.

00:39:07I used to be more intolerant of the spenders versus the savers.

00:39:13I think maybe it's just a dopamine thing.

00:39:15And as I get older, oh God, I'm old enough to say this now.

00:39:19So, as I get older, now I only had one child.

00:39:24It would have been fascinating.

00:39:24I would love to have had more, but I only had one child.

00:39:27And it would have been fascinating because you get a sense of how much, from what I've heard with parents,

00:39:31you get a sense of how much is genetic in terms of personality and so on.

00:39:36Some people chase more short-term dopamine.

00:39:38Some people get a bit of a kick out of self-denial, right?

00:39:42That's the hedonist versus the monks, right?

00:39:44The monk gets hedonism from self-discipline.

00:39:47And the hedonist gets dopamine from indulgence.

00:39:52Now, one thing that happens, though, is that people take their somewhat involuntary dopamine reward circuitry.

00:40:02Again, some people get pleasure from self-denial.

00:40:05Like I remember Sting was saying, he's remained slender his whole life.

00:40:09And I remember him saying when somebody said, geez, you know, you're getting older.

00:40:13What if you just put on, you know, 30 or 40 pounds?

00:40:15He said, I'd rather die.

00:40:16I would rather die than gain weight.

00:40:20Okay.

00:40:21So, he gets pleasure.

00:40:23And the man is full of semi-justifiable vanity.

00:40:26I mean, yeah, good singer, good songwriter has not made the world a better place at all.

00:40:30In fact, arguably made it worse with all this third-world activism.

00:40:34But, yeah, what was it somebody was talking about that the Bill Gates Foundation gave all these mosquito nets to

00:40:40people in Africa.

00:40:41And they never used them to protect them from mosquitoes.

00:40:43What they did was they used them to fish.

00:40:45But because the mosquito nets are so fine, they scooped up all the baby fish.

00:40:48And now all the fish are gone.

00:40:50And excellent job, everyone.

00:40:52Great job.

00:40:53Well done.

00:40:54Giving people technology beyond their development is a violation of the prime directive.

00:40:58Did Kirk teach us nothing?

00:41:00Have sex with blue aliens with nine boobs?

00:41:03And do not violate the prime directive.

00:41:06So, people, what they do is they say, well, I get more pleasure from spending than saving.

00:41:15And therefore, it is better to spend than to save.

00:41:20Other people say, I get more pleasure from saving than spending.

00:41:23And then they say, it is somehow morally better to save than to spend.

00:41:28So, outside of fraud and outside of, you know, like people who can't pay the bills, declare bankruptcy and so

00:41:35on, there are times when it's understandable, but a lot of times it's not.

00:41:39And it is, you know, declaring bankruptcy when things could have been avoided or prevented.

00:41:43You know, people who just go out and squander a bunch of money and then declare bankruptcy.

00:41:47It's a form of theft.

00:41:48I mean, straight up with you.

00:41:49Straight up with you.

00:41:50It's a form of theft.

00:41:53And I guess debt is prison probably.

00:41:56I don't know exactly when it ended, but it kind of had to end when women got access to more

00:41:59money.

00:42:00It's a hole because women tend to spend going to debt more than men.

00:42:07But people say, well, I like to spend, I like to live in the now.

00:42:10And therefore, it is good for everyone to spend and live in the now.

00:42:13And the people who don't, quote, live in the now but take pleasure from saving, well, they're just anxious.

00:42:18They don't know how to enjoy themselves.

00:42:19They don't know how to have fun.

00:42:20It's like they're just having a different kind of fun.

00:42:22You know, a guy who goes out and spends all his money on big meals and nights out for his

00:42:27friends and he's the big man.

00:42:28Hey, everybody, drink up or oppa, whatever.

00:42:31It's not a Greek thing in particular, but you know what I mean.

00:42:33So he's getting a certain amount of pleasure and all of that.

00:42:37And the guy who saves his money and enjoys the accumulation of resources because spending money makes him anxious or

00:42:44whatever it is.

00:42:45That's just hardwired to a large degree.

00:42:47I mean, things are a little bit adjustable, but a lot of stuff is just really hardwired.

00:42:51And so, I mean, some people take pleasure in the pain of being tattooed.

00:42:57It's incomprehensible to me.

00:42:58Like, why would you want to poison yourself with a slow-release poison for your whole life and mark that

00:43:02you have childhood trauma in a permanent way and pay a lot of money and undergo a lot of pain

00:43:08to do so?

00:43:09But people do that.

00:43:11Some people will pierce their nipples.

00:43:16I mean, horrendous.

00:43:17Horrendous stuff.

00:43:18But, you know, they take pleasure in it or there's some sort of dopamine release for them and so on.

00:43:23We can say it's a trauma response.

00:43:24It probably is.

00:43:26But nonetheless, people have different configurations of pleasure and pain.

00:43:29And what people do is they say, well, my configuration of pleasure and pain is the good.

00:43:33And if I like to save money and other people like to spend money, I mean, the fact that they

00:43:42spend money is also important for the economy.

00:43:44Because if everyone just saved money, there'd be no economy, right?

00:43:47Not very little.

00:43:49So people who save money look down upon those who spend money.

00:43:52And people who spend money look down upon those who save money.

00:43:55And the people who save money say, oh, you're being reckless.

00:43:57It's going to end badly.

00:43:58And the people who spend money say, you don't know how to enjoy yourself.

00:44:01You're going to die like Howard Hughes with a bunch of money in the bank and no happiness in your

00:44:04heart, no memories, no blah, blah, blah.

00:44:06And maybe that's a little cross-pollinating conversation that can fix up the extremes to some degree.

00:44:12But a lot of people will say, my way is the best way.

00:44:16And I'm sort of always aware of this when I'm talking about things.

00:44:19I don't want people to think that that's why I said at the beginning, like this is my preference.

00:44:23I'm a saver.

00:44:24I don't really like to spend, except on the show.

00:44:26Like I will spend, I spent like a crazy amount of money for this chest microphone because audio quality is

00:44:33important to me.

00:44:35So I will spend money on the show.

00:44:39I just spent $1,000 on a camera because my last camera died.

00:44:44And I was like, I could use a webcam, but webcams don't store memory cards.

00:44:50So sometimes they shudder.

00:44:51And then I spend more time lining up the audio and the video.

00:44:54Anyway, so I'm just like, you know, I'll spend the money.

00:44:56I don't like to do it.

00:44:57It hurts my soul.

00:44:59But it's important because it saves time.

00:45:02And you can maybe make more money, but you generally, well, you can make more time too, just by eating

00:45:07well and exercising.

00:45:08At least that's the goal.

00:45:09But you're not in as much control of that as you like.

00:45:14So with people who say, if you make money, you have some money and people know about it.

00:45:24First of all, why do they know?

00:45:25Why do they know?

00:45:27Don't talk about finances.

00:45:28With people, don't talk about your finances with people.

00:45:31Your wife, maybe.

00:45:32But in general, it's not.

00:45:33Now you say, ah, well, they know because I bought a nice house or whatever, right?

00:45:40But in general, shut up.

00:45:44Just shut up.

00:45:46If you bought a nice house, you can say, well, you know, made some money, but I put it all

00:45:49into the house.

00:45:53But don't brag.

00:45:55Don't display.

00:45:56That's so nouveau riche.

00:45:58That's so trailer park guy in a Maserati because he won the lottery stuff.

00:46:04Like, just shut up.

00:46:06So the fact that you've talked about it, you've bragged a little, maybe, not the end of the world, obviously.

00:46:12But when you brag to people and you say, oh, look at all the money I have.

00:46:15Of course, they're going to be like, maybe I can get a hold of some.

00:46:19And so they're going to start to shame you into, yeah, what's it, Kevin O'Leary is his name, Mr.

00:46:25Wonderful.

00:46:25He's got this policy.

00:46:26If somebody wants money from him, he'll say, I'll give you 50,000 bucks for your business idea.

00:46:30But I never want to hear about it again.

00:46:35So, you know, it is entirely possible.

00:46:39It's entirely possible over the course of your life.

00:46:42Let's say you've made some good coin to shut up about it.

00:46:49It's entirely possible.

00:46:51Loose lips sink ships.

00:46:53So you have to look inwards and say, well, why?

00:46:55Why did I tell you've got friends and family here who know you've made money?

00:46:59Good for you.

00:47:01It's a good thing to make some money, honorably.

00:47:04So why does everyone know?

00:47:09I would assume it's because you've bragged a little or you've put out these signs or these

00:47:13indications or whatever it is.

00:47:15Now, of course, I'm not saying that you have to dress in secondhand clothes and live in a

00:47:18cardboard box if you're a zillionaire.

00:47:20But you probably have been playing it up a little bit.

00:47:24And that probably has something to do with insecurity early on in life.

00:47:29But if you know what you have, you don't need to broadcast it, do you?

00:47:34I mean, do you really?

00:47:35Do you really?

00:47:36Because it's going to cause these kinds of problems.

00:47:37And I think it's a certain amount of bragging.

00:47:39I think it may be a certain amount of aggression.

00:47:41Maybe these are people who put you down in the past and you're saying, ah, yes, but I made

00:47:44something of myself now.

00:47:45And so you're kind of getting them back and so on.

00:47:48But those kinds of relationships are not particularly good.

00:47:53But what I would do if I was in your situation, which is not to say what you should do,

00:47:57obviously

00:47:57I don't know.

00:47:58But what I would do is I would say, look, I get pleasure out of saving.

00:48:04You get pleasure out of spending.

00:48:07I've actually had this conversation.

00:48:09I get pleasure out of saving.

00:48:10You get pleasure out of spending.

00:48:12But I enjoy saving.

00:48:14Oh, you don't know how to have fun.

00:48:15It's like, no, it's fun for me.

00:48:18It's fun.

00:48:18I enjoy not spending money.

00:48:21You enjoy spending money.

00:48:23I'm not going to criticize you for that.

00:48:25I'd really appreciate it if you didn't criticize me for not wanting to spend money.

00:48:29Right.

00:48:30So, all right.

00:48:32When is it better to borrow instead of waiting for your own savings to be enough?

00:48:36So for me, the general equation is you can borrow.

00:48:42You can borrow, assuming you can pay it back or have a reasonable opportunity to pay it

00:48:46back.

00:48:47So you can borrow when the increase of value in the thing that you borrow exceeds the interest

00:48:52payments that you're going to make and other opportunities.

00:48:56Right.

00:48:57So if you buy a little condo and it goes up 50 percent or doubles in value, as they sometimes

00:49:03do, then I assume that's more than you're paying in interest.

00:49:08Right.

00:49:08So if the increase in value of that which you're spending on is going to increase faster than

00:49:15the interest payments, then it seems to be a good idea.

00:49:19And so on.

00:49:19Now, people say, ah, but if you buy technology, it goes down in value.

00:49:22Not necessarily.

00:49:23So I have an expensive computer because I produce videos all the time.

00:49:30Right.

00:49:30All the time.

00:49:31I'm producing like five videos a week, six videos a week or audio.

00:49:36And so I need fast processing.

00:49:38It just saves me time.

00:49:39I don't have to sit around and I can go and do other things with a reasonable time frame.

00:49:44And I mean, I had a computer that used to take three or more hours to produce a video.

00:49:48And that's just not as great because it also delays.

00:49:51If I'm doing current events and it takes three hours, that's a three hour.

00:49:54Well, I can get to have a computer that could do the same job now in like 25 minutes.

00:49:59So it just gets out sooner.

00:50:00It gets out faster and so on.

00:50:05And so you can buy things that are going to lose value, like technology loses value, but

00:50:10it has to gain value in some other way.

00:50:12So for me, it's getting out ahead of things when I was doing current events, it would really

00:50:16help and so on and more stable and so on.

00:50:20So I bought a computer with more cores and a faster video card so that it could do video

00:50:24better and faster.

00:50:25And that made a difference when it comes to getting out with breaking stories.

00:50:29So you can buy things that lose value as long as they're adding value in some other way.

00:50:33So if you buy a car that's going to lose value, but you use it to make money, in other

00:50:39words, maybe it's a job you have to commute to, which more than covers the cost of the

00:50:43car, or maybe you use it for delivery or your Uber or something like that, right?

00:50:48So then the car is losing value, but you're gaining value from the car and so on, right?

00:50:55So hopefully that helps.

00:50:57I hope this is helpful as a whole.

00:50:59Is it immoral to receive government benefits and tax returns after being taxed at the

00:51:03same higher amount?

00:51:04No, no, I don't believe so.

00:51:09Tax evasion is a legal tax avoidance where you can legally avoid tax.

00:51:14Obviously, talk to accountants, don't listen to anything I'm saying because I don't know

00:51:16anything about this stuff.

00:51:18But no, it is not immoral, assuming you're not doing anything fraudulent, to receive government

00:51:26benefits and tax returns.

00:51:28In general, if your tax return is high, you're probably not financially planning because you

00:51:31just gave an interest-free loan to the government and so on.

00:51:33But no, it's fine.

00:51:36I'd like to listen about people who save as much as possible and hate to spend money.

00:51:43Well, I think I've talked about that.

00:51:44How to parent upper middle-class children who are not starting from the very bottom like

00:51:49their parents?

00:51:50Again, you want to have children experience the cost of spending money as early as possible,

00:52:00which is why my daughter wants to buy something for $20 and she's got an allowance, which was

00:52:07obviously less than that, much less.

00:52:09Then I say, okay, well, I will cover half of it, but you have to spend some of your own.

00:52:13And then suddenly it's like, oh, okay.

00:52:14So the, quote, pain of loss is something that's important.

00:52:19And if they do spend money, it's really important to not front them more money too early on, right?

00:52:26So if my daughter spent money on something and then wanted to spend money on something

00:52:30else and she was out of money, I wouldn't just lend it to her, right?

00:52:34At least I would certainly have a conversation.

00:52:36If it's really desperate, maybe I'm a bit of a softy that way.

00:52:39But in general, you want children to experience the discomfort of running out of resources

00:52:46as early as possible.

00:52:48And this is going to be, you know, especially that sort of the winter people, the Northern

00:52:52Europeans, we kind of evolve for this kind of stuff.

00:52:56What are the pros and cons of not splitting bills in the family and have all finances shared

00:53:00and common?

00:53:02So I assume you mean husband and wife.

00:53:05If, I think having separate bank accounts when your husband and wife is, frankly, it's

00:53:11beyond deranged.

00:53:11I don't, I don't understand it.

00:53:13My wife and I, we just have one big pool of everything.

00:53:16And I don't, I don't really understand it, but I'll pay my half of the bill and you'll

00:53:21pay your half of the bill and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:53:22It's like you merge body fluids, you merge lives, you grow together like trees, you share

00:53:27roots, you make children that are a combination of the two.

00:53:30The idea that you can mingle lives, fluids, DNA, and everything and living space and you

00:53:35breathe each other's air and, and so on, but you can't mingle finances doesn't make, it

00:53:40doesn't make a shred of sense to me.

00:53:42You need to have compatible, not identical, but compatible financial instincts as husband

00:53:51and wife.

00:53:52In general, the husband's goal is to spend a little less and the wife's goal is to spend

00:53:57a little more.

00:53:57And in the middle is the sweet spot.

00:53:59So sometimes your wife is right that you need to spend more, right?

00:54:03I mean, a couple of years ago, my wife was like, we need to paint.

00:54:07And I'm like, what, learn how to paint?

00:54:09She's like, no, we need to paint.

00:54:12There's Nicks and Marks and kids and blah, blah, blah.

00:54:15And we need to, we need to paint, right?

00:54:20And I was like, huh, because I grew up in rental places.

00:54:23You never paint a rental place, right?

00:54:25So she's like, we need to paint.

00:54:27And I'm like, I trust my wife.

00:54:30So I was like, okay.

00:54:31And so, and, and by golly, she was right.

00:54:34It looks much nicer.

00:54:35It looks fresh and so on.

00:54:37And she's like, it's cheaper than moving.

00:54:38I'm like sold.

00:54:39Right.

00:54:39So, so she's right.

00:54:41I never would have crossed my mind to paint, but, but she was right.

00:54:47So, uh, philosophy of people who get paid in small daily increments, uh, taxi drivers,

00:54:54waiters, plumbers, and just anybody who works for tips or gets paid right after the shift

00:54:58or work.

00:55:00Um, I just throw it in the bank or, or store it somewhere, uh, but don't buy stuff on the

00:55:06way home.

00:55:08All right.

00:55:09This will be for people that have had a bad start in relationships and personal finances

00:55:14in their twenties, balancing pleasure, uh, hobbies versus house purchases and stocks in

00:55:21your thirties when you have neither lived nor have good financial decisions in the past.

00:55:27Um, so hobbies, I don't know.

00:55:30So I don't really have any hobbies.

00:55:34I don't think I have any hobbies for me.

00:55:37Uh, everything competes with doing philosophy or thinking about philosophy or spending time

00:55:41with friends or my wife or my daughter or all combined.

00:55:44I don't, do I have any hobbies?

00:55:46I don't have any train sets because I'm not Neil Young with a disabled kid.

00:55:50Watch big, big props to him for dealing with that.

00:55:53Um, do I have hobbies?

00:55:55I mean, I play some sports.

00:55:57I work out.

00:55:59I'm not, I'm sexy and annoyed and, but hobbies, I don't think so because everything competes

00:56:06with the good that I can do and the mental exercise and the fun and pleasure and thrill

00:56:10of doing philosophy.

00:56:12So when I have some time, my wife's like, I need to wash my hair this morning.

00:56:17She doesn't speak like that.

00:56:19She's going to kill me.

00:56:20Um, but my wife was like, uh, I need to, uh, wash my hair this morning, get ready.

00:56:25We're going to go play, uh, some, uh, pickleball later.

00:56:28And so I'm like, Hey, great.

00:56:30I'll, I'll do some philosophy and answer some questions.

00:56:32It's like, eh.

00:56:32So, um, if you have video games, I don't really play video games.

00:56:42I'll do some crossword games from time to time.

00:56:44So I'm not, I don't know, hobbies.

00:56:50Hobbies are just minor talents that lead nowhere.

00:56:52And as you get older, it's like, okay, so maybe I could learn how to play piano, but

00:56:57then what, what do I do with it?

00:56:59Well, there has to be some practicality to what it is that you're doing.

00:57:02Say, ah, well, you, you, you only occasionally win some pickleball tournaments.

00:57:07It's like, well, well, yes, but, but, uh, I spend fun time, get some sun and, uh, and

00:57:15also, uh, it's exercise.

00:57:17So it's good that way.

00:57:18So it's not really a hobby.

00:57:19So I can't really talk much about hobbies.

00:57:22Uh, accepting money from immoral and abusive parents to fix problems they caused.

00:57:26That's a tricky one.

00:57:27So if they have, if you had really bad parents and they have genuinely repented and they've

00:57:32gone to therapy, they want to pay for you to go to therapy.

00:57:34To me, that's fine.

00:57:35If they're just throwing money at you to say, well, fine, if this is what you want, we'll

00:57:39give you money.

00:57:40I think that's just more control and manipulation.

00:57:42So not really good.

00:57:45Um, the pursuit of the Aristotelian mean of saving versus spending specifically when saving

00:57:49too much for the future at the expense of the present, how to find the middle ground.

00:57:53Yeah.

00:57:53I mean, you should, if you grew up poor and you're sensible.

00:57:57Then you should have anxiety about spending money.

00:58:00I grew up poor.

00:58:01And so I have an anxiety about spending money.

00:58:03However, other people I knew with, other people I knew who grew up poor, um, did not

00:58:10have an anxiety about spending money when they got it.

00:58:12It just passed through their hands like, like water.

00:58:14And it drove me nuts.

00:58:16Um, but you know, everyone's still alive and nobody's in terms of prison, so to speak.

00:58:22Right?

00:58:24So if you have kids, the dollars that you save get handed down to your kids in the long run.

00:58:30That can be helpful for them.

00:58:31If you don't have kids, you might as well spend it because you're not saving it for anyone

00:58:35in particular.

00:58:37You certainly, when you get older and you look back over the years, you want highlights.

00:58:42Right?

00:58:42So you gotta, you gotta think of, your past is like, you ever see those pictures where

00:58:47they have clouds and then there's some mountain peaks poking up through the clouds.

00:58:53You've got this big haze of foggy clouds and these mountain peaks.

00:58:57So most of your memory, you can't remember.

00:59:00Like most, most things you can't remember.

00:59:01You know, someday you went to work, you did some stuff or whatever.

00:59:03Most things.

00:59:04But you can remember, like I remember going from Morocco, going to Morocco for Y2K with

00:59:08a friend of mine and then immediately spending one night at home in Canada and then flying

00:59:13out to do business in China for a couple of weeks.

00:59:16That was 1999 to 2000.

00:59:18Very vivid memories.

00:59:20Very vivid memories.

00:59:21Um, my wife and I went to a B&B not too long ago.

00:59:25Uh, you know, it's very vivid.

00:59:27I don't normally eat breakfast or much breakfast, but you know, it's pretty nice having some

00:59:31waffles and all of that.

00:59:33So, you know, it's a difference, right?

00:59:35So a lot of the copy paste days, the groundhog days, you'll forget about.

00:59:38And sometimes you need to spend money to have those differences, right?

00:59:41So I had to pay money to go to Morocco for Y2K.

00:59:45I have a big party and it was a lot of fun and I had to spend money to do

00:59:49that.

00:59:49Now, if I hadn't spent that money and I'd saved it, I'd have a little bit more money

00:59:53now.

00:59:54Or maybe, maybe, I don't know, I'd have, uh, I don't know if I'd invested it, I'd have

00:59:59maybe, it wasn't that expensive, but I'd maybe have 15K more now.

01:00:04Okay.

01:00:05So, but I wouldn't remember much of that time.

01:00:13So when you look back on your life, if you can't differentiate the days, you probably

01:00:18didn't spend enough, you should spend some things to have some memories.

01:00:21Of course, children cost money, but they're an investment in honoring your ancestors, continuing

01:00:26your bloodline, faith in the future, and resolution in moral courage and battles.

01:00:31So, uh, philosophical perspective on capital preservation, managing investment risks versus

01:00:37playing it too safe.

01:00:39Uh, yeah, I can't, I can't help you with that.

01:00:41That's a level of comfort.

01:00:42Generally, as you get older, you want to take fewer risks because you have less time

01:00:45to recover for losses.

01:00:48Thank you for the great work.

01:00:50All right.

01:00:52Is it immoral or unethical to use companies like Facebook, Google, Meta, Amazon to build

01:00:56one's business for one's financial gain?

01:00:58Uh, no, I don't think that's immoral.

01:01:00You can't control the world.

01:01:01You didn't make the world.

01:01:02You have to live in the world where bad decisions were made decades or centuries ago.

01:01:08And I don't think there's anything wrong with using digital platforms.

01:01:12I mean, I, if I said, well, I'm not going to use any digital platforms, then there would

01:01:19be close to 2 billion more assaults on children than there used to be.

01:01:24I mean, peacefulparenting.com, uh, the numbers are huge, uh, on that book.

01:01:28And so lots of people are downloading, reading, listening to, using the AI to become peaceful

01:01:36parents, to reject the initiation of the use of force against their own children.

01:01:40If I had eschewed, uh, digital platforms, then that would not have happened.

01:01:45And, uh, all of my philosophical thoughts and conversations would all have died with me.

01:01:49I don't see how that is good.

01:01:53Uh, it's like saying, uh, the governments are, governments are on the road.

01:01:56So can I use the roads?

01:01:57Well, bad guys use the roads, bad guys use digital media, bad guys use digital platforms.

01:02:03I mean, what was it?

01:02:03Anthony Fauci's daughter was in charge of a lot of bans at Twitter during the whole COVID

01:02:08thing.

01:02:09So probably another reason why I got toasted from the platform for a while.

01:02:13So bad people use digital media.

01:02:18And if you don't, you're just surrendering the entire battlefield to the worst among us.

01:02:22And that is not a good plan at all.

01:02:27So I hope this helps.

01:02:28Uh, if you've got more questions, of course, you can just email me host at freedomain.com

01:02:35host at freedomain.com.

01:02:36And I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful day.

01:02:38And I hope this is helpful.

01:02:39Let me know in the comments below if you find these kinds of conversations helpful.

01:02:43And, uh, lots of love, my friends.

01:02:44I'll talk to you soon.

01:02:45Bye.

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