00:00The flirting techniques that some men consider normal are problematic.
00:04very problematic when they reproduce a culture that rewards violence against women.
00:08Because if behind those supposed seduction strategies or manuals there's a lot of violence hidden,
00:14But they became so normalized as a form of conquest that many learned and adopted them without question.
00:19Let's think about Barney Stinson from the series How I Met Your Mother.
00:22He was a very funny and predatory character.
00:24Whether they saw it or not, even knowing that he literally had a book with absurd seduction tactics
00:29that worked for him.
00:30From deceiving women to harass them, to showing up naked in their homes to pressure them.
00:36But what if we told you that this manual of abusive conquest tactics is not fiction,
00:40that exists in real life and has been repeated from voice to voice for years, would you believe us?
00:44This year a study was published by two universities, one in Canada and the other in Northern Ireland.
00:49There, 2,689 men were interviewed, of whom 95% admitted to having used tactics
00:55to pressure or force women to have sex.
00:57Even when they had clearly stated that they did not want to.
01:01From there came a list of at least 36 strategies that are frequently used to
01:05violate consent.
01:06Which ones were the most used?
01:08The most common was to tell a woman what she wanted to hear.
01:11In other words, to lie to him as much as necessary to achieve the greater purpose.
01:15Having sex.
01:16Instead of saying something as simple as I just want to have sex.
01:19Then other strategies appear, such as relentlessly insisting on having sex,
01:23ask other people to intervene to help,
01:26to have someone bring the woman to where he was,
01:29separate her from other people and take her to a private place that was under your control,
01:33he began to undress long before she was ready,
01:36focus on women who they considered unlikely to stop them,
01:39to stop her every time she tried to leave,
01:42or question her sexuality, for example, by calling her a lesbian.
01:45These tactics are not a new discovery.
01:47In reality, almost all of us have heard, seen, or even experienced them.
01:51And if there is any doubt, yes, they are all forms of sexual violence.
01:54We're not the ones saying it.
01:56The World Health Organization explains that sexual violence encompasses acts that range from
02:00from verbal harassment to forced penetration.
02:02But also different forms of coercion such as pressure.
02:05To put it even more simply,
02:07Why is violating consent sexual violence?
02:09Because you are imposing your will on another person.
02:12A woman's silence is not consent.
02:15And wearing someone down until they say yes isn't consent either.
02:18Consent means that all people involved
02:21They agree to participate freely and voluntarily.
02:24And that consent can be withdrawn at any time.
02:27Now, those weren't the only strategies.
02:29The force appeared less frequently, but it was also present.
02:32And that breaks with the idea that sexual violence
02:34It always looks like an attack in a dark alley.
02:37It can also come from a close, trusted, or admired person,
02:40who persists until getting a yes at all costs.
02:43It's all part of a larger manual that has educated us about desire.
02:47The writer Emily Butwell, in her book Transforming Rape Culture,
02:51It explains how these strategies have become so normalized.
02:54It also shows how certain forms of violence can even become sexy,
02:58as happens in 50 Shades of Grey,
03:00or how sexuality can be confused with something very close to violence.
03:03In that context, both men and women can end up assuming
03:06that aggression is inherent to sex.
03:08And therefore inevitable.
03:10Now, the fact that it's normalized doesn't mean that men
03:12do not have the responsibility to question it.
03:14Because it's not enough for us in feminism to simply name things.
03:17and let's learn to identify these forms of violence.
03:19They are also essential to dismantling this dynamic.
03:22And as women, we can also stop romanticizing persistence
03:25as if it were a normal part of the conquest.
03:27So where to begin?
03:28UN Women proposes some pretty concrete things.
03:31Creating a culture of consent,
03:33to question what we understand by masculinity,
03:35have zero tolerance for this violence
03:38and stop making jokes about rape.
03:40This helps to normalize these forms of abuse.
03:42Also, listen to the survivors without blaming them.
03:45and educate the next generation outside of gender stereotypes.
03:48How to stop teaching only girls how to take care of themselves
03:51and also start teaching children to respect boundaries
03:53and not to use violence.
03:55What do you think, equals?
03:56We read them in the comments.
