00:00You just walked into a house to meet the girl of your dreams, but instead you're met with cameras, police,
00:06and Chris Hansen.
00:07And you have one objective. Get the heck out of there.
00:11Today, I'm going to be breaking down the top three most popular Chris Hansen episodes and showing you how I
00:16would escape.
00:22Contestant number one is 40-year-old John DuPay.
00:25Now, he made the mistake of just walking into this house aimlessly without taking any precautions.
00:30What I'm doing is I'm parking a block away so they don't get my license plate.
00:34Then I'm pulling out my high-speed drone and hitting a crazy route through this house.
00:38That means I'll be able to map out and see if there are any authorities hiding and camping in the
00:42crib.
00:43But let's say I left my drone at home, I would probably just go into the house like normal and
00:47do exactly what this guy does.
00:49But here's where things take a turn. Once Chris reveals himself, I'm going to act like I'm the biggest fan
00:54ever.
00:54Oh my god, Chris, it's an honor to meet you. Can I please shake your hand?
00:58Also, I came prepared. Under my shirt, I'm wearing another shirt that has Chris Hansen's face on it.
01:03So I'm basically just going to act like the craziest fan ever and that I really wanted to meet him
01:07and get on the show.
01:08This will be my alibi as Chris will see me as not an actual predator and just a crazy fan.
01:13I'll even ask for his autograph on the papers with all the text messages.
01:17Chris will think I'm not an actual predator and I'm just a crazy fan and he will let me go.
01:21Then I'll go back home like nothing happened.
01:23But luckily this guy is not as smart as me and he thankfully got arrested.
01:27I'm also just now realizing that this video does not correlate well with my channel name, but you can just
01:33ignore that.
01:34Anyways, the next contestant is 44 year old Jeff Sokol.
01:37Everybody knows this guy is the pizza guy, but he's also the guy that drove two and a half hours
01:41to do this.
01:42So what I'm doing is when I arrive to this house,
01:45I'm going to ask for a fork and knife because I don't really feel like getting my hands dirty eating
01:49the pizza.
01:49And once Chris Hansen reveals himself, I'm going to go microwave the pizza,
01:53but slip in that fork and knife.
01:55This microwave will cause a distraction.
01:57So once everybody starts looking over there,
01:59I'm going to run for it either diving out the window or just running through the front door.
02:03Another option would be hitting up the military store before arriving at the house.
02:07I'm going to buy five EG-18 wire pull smoke grenades, which emit a huge amount of smoke.
02:12Then I'm going to buy some infrared goggles.
02:14So what I'm doing is I'm putting five smoke grenades into the pizza box and then wiring them to the
02:19top of the box.
02:20So when I open it, all five smoke grenades go off at the same time.
02:23I'm going to bring in the pizza.
02:24And then once Chris reveals himself,
02:26I'm going to open the box emitting so much smoke into the air that you can't see anything.
02:31Then I'm going to throw on my goggles and sneakily make my way out of the house.
02:35The entire set and camera crews in a panic and try to open as many windows and doors as possible.
02:40So this will be easy for me because they're basically just letting me escape for free.
02:43Now my search history is filled with smoke grenades to catch a predator clips and infrared night vision goggles.
02:49But anyways, this guy is stupid and is not as smart as me,
02:52so he did not escape and was thankfully arrested.
02:54Our next contestant is 32 year old Mike Manzi.
02:58Now this guy is different from the rest because it seems like he knows the show
03:02and actually did some preparation before coming in.
03:04You'll see that as soon as he walks into the house,
03:06he immediately runs around looking for cameras.
03:08And you could just see it on him that he automatically suspects that something's going on.
03:12Do you mind if I just, like, look around her?
03:14Oh no, I'm okay.
03:15Are you okay?
03:15So when Chris interrogates him, he tries flipping the switch and saying that he was concerned
03:20about the girl talking to people online.
03:22But it was a good try and here's what I'm doing.
03:24I'm showing up to this house dressed as Chris Hansen.
03:27Now there'll be two Chris Hansens and nobody's gonna know who to arrest.
03:31But I don't think a disguise would be good enough, so instead I'm gonna act like I'm the homeowner.
03:36Chris, what are you doing in my house?
03:38And then I'll start asking him increasingly aggressive questions about the mortgage.
03:41But Chris might know what the homeowner looks like, so maybe this one won't work either.
03:46My last way of escaping is gonna have to be to start a podcast.
03:49So when Chris comes out and interrogates me, I'm gonna go,
03:52Chris, before we get into all that, can you tell the audience a little bit about yourself?
03:56And suddenly we've turned this interrogation into a three-hour podcast
03:59and all the police and camera crew will fall asleep.
04:02Once they're all asleep, I'll just sneak out the house like nothing happened.
04:05Yeah, that's about it.
04:06I think I'm out in 30 seconds.
