00:00I like doing my grocery shopping at 7 p.m. when it's packed.
00:04That way it gives me time to take out my coins and chat with the cashier
00:08until someone in line snaps.
00:13I love a good fight.
00:15I have two or three foolproof techniques.
00:17The first one is to say, excuse me, Miss Cashier, my shopping ends right here.
00:22The bottle of St. Yor, the jar of Nutella, it belongs to the big lady behind me.
00:28And the one that works every single time is to say, excuse me, Miss Cashier,
00:31do you know if there are priority lanes for real French people?
00:38Total brawl.
00:42Yeah, I went grocery shopping last weekend.
00:45It was the kid's birthday. He was turning seven.
00:48Seven? Yeah.
00:50Oh, you know, I buy everything they like.
00:52He calls me Grandma Cookie. It's quite simple, really.
00:55Oh, I buy after eights. Orange Pimm's, coffee ice cream, coffee ice cream.
01:02And if some little brat wants to risk getting the coffee ice cream from the freezer
01:0525 feet deep under the plums and the leg of lamb from the 90s,
01:10good luck, kid.
01:13Yeah, seven years old.
01:15Yeah, he asked me for a Fortnite toy, huh?
01:18I pretended I didn't know what that was.
01:20I'm going to get him a womanizer.
01:21Thanks, Oscar.
01:22Okay.
01:24I'm going to get you.
