Their income severely reduced by widespread wartime poverty, bespectacled London entertainer Arthur (Arthur Askey) and his partner, Stinker (Richard Murdoch), struggle to raise the money they need to produce a variety show. After failing to secure themselves an appointment with well-to-do arts patron — and retired singer — Lady Randall (Lily Morris), Arthur and Stinker plot to charm her by sneaking into the palatial Randall estate in costume and joining the ranks of her domestic staff.
#B&W #comedy #family
#B&W #comedy #family
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FunTranscript
00:00:08The End
00:00:35The End
00:01:08The End
00:01:37The End
00:01:58Now why do people who live on this earth
00:02:02Lie in bed snoring for all they are worth
00:02:06When they might be getting some fun
00:02:09If they do as I do, wake up with the sun
00:02:13I'm up with the laugh as soon as it's day
00:02:17I tear off the bedclothes and throw them away
00:02:20Before the day has really begun
00:02:24I'm ready to say hello to the sun
00:02:27I stretch out my arms
00:02:29I try out my legs
00:02:31I sample the coffee, the bacon and eggs
00:02:35I'm way ahead of everyone
00:02:38The first one to say hello to the sun
00:02:42And I go, it's too, too good to be true
00:02:46To do as I feel, to feel as I do
00:02:50I'm up with the laugh, I'm happy that way
00:02:54I'm out and about and happy to say
00:02:57I'm friends with all
00:02:59And jealous of none
00:03:01The first one to say hello to the sun
00:03:31I'm out and happy to say hello to the sun
00:03:34Time at all
00:03:35Okay, George
00:03:55Oh, I seldom drink more than I ought
00:03:58If I'm alone with a bottle of salt
00:04:02There's a different story to tell
00:04:05Though I'm still quite early
00:04:08I'm not very well
00:04:13I'm up with the laugh
00:04:15I've got some to win
00:04:17I tear off with nighty and splash in the sink
00:04:20The landlady's daughter is out for a run
00:04:24So I have to say hello to the sun
00:04:27I swing down the lane
00:04:29I roll in the hay
00:04:31I gather me rosebuds and throw them away
00:04:34I sip the dew
00:04:36It's excellent fun
00:04:38To drink while you say hello to the sun
00:04:42Hey-ho
00:04:44I'm walking on air
00:04:45With time on my hands
00:04:47And straw in my hair
00:04:49I'm up with the laugh
00:04:51I'm out in the blue
00:04:52I'm gone with the wind
00:04:54I'm down with the flu
00:04:57My day is done
00:05:00Before it's begun
00:05:01I'm trying to say hello to the sun
00:05:32You better have your willy back
00:05:33This is for me
00:05:35Bye
00:05:39Hello, Arthur
00:05:41I've been phoning all over the place for you
00:05:42I thought you were at Holborn Station
00:05:44Oh, well, the doctor ordered me a change of air
00:05:45So I've been sleeping up Bond Street
00:05:47Any news?
00:05:48Haven't you had a letter from Lomas?
00:05:49He's putting on the show at last
00:05:50We're meeting at 11
00:05:5111 o'clock at Lomas's
00:05:53Hi, then, go
00:05:57Oh, that's the best scene you've ever written, Ben
00:06:03You think it's funny?
00:06:04It's terrific
00:06:05The people will laugh at it?
00:06:06Oh, Ben, how, Ben?
00:06:08That's one of the serious bits
00:06:10Hey, where is this guy, Lomas?
00:06:12He's gone 11
00:06:12Don't you know when an agent says 11
00:06:14He means 12
00:06:15He has that on his 10%
00:06:16Oh, isn't that a coincidence?
00:06:17My brother who writes lyrics
00:06:18He always makes it 11
00:06:20Because it rhymes with semolina
00:06:21Look, 11 doesn't rhyme with semolina
00:06:23Well, maybe I got the wrong number
00:06:25Or the wrong point
00:06:25Maybe you got the wrong brother
00:06:27But, uh
00:06:27Quiet, brat
00:06:29Yes?
00:06:31All right, I'll tell him
00:06:32All right, I heard
00:06:33I ain't got cloth ears
00:06:36That was the boss
00:06:36He's not dead, then
00:06:38No such luck
00:06:39He's on his way
00:06:40Stop
00:06:41Once again, London's traffic halt
00:06:45Bukaski rides again
00:06:48Oh, Johnny
00:06:52Hello, stinker
00:06:53Arthur
00:06:53See what you've done?
00:06:54Now they all want some
00:06:55Oh, where have you been?
00:06:56We thought you were lost
00:06:57My father lost a big drum once
00:06:58And when they told him to beat it
00:07:00He had to
00:07:00Because he couldn't
00:07:01I'm sorry he didn't beat you
00:07:02Oh, leave her alone
00:07:03She's a good kid
00:07:04Uh-huh, so you're in the mood again
00:07:05There's something about you I like
00:07:07Yeah, well, try and get it
00:07:10Is there really a part for me in this show?
00:07:12One part?
00:07:12I've got three parts for you
00:07:13Three?
00:07:14I'm not the hind legs of anything, am I?
00:07:16This is a review, not a pantomime
00:07:17Why, when we open in Manchester
00:07:19You mean if you open in Manchester
00:07:21I beg your pardon?
00:07:22I said if you open in Manchester
00:07:24Is there an if?
00:07:25There's always an if in Manchester
00:07:27I think it comes from the gas works
00:07:29Oh, shut up a minute
00:07:30What are you getting at?
00:07:31Oh, nothing
00:07:31And you don't count your curtains before they're up
00:07:35Well, well, well
00:07:36Good morning, children
00:07:38Good morning
00:07:38Are we all ready to start?
00:07:40We are
00:07:40How about you, Mr. Lomas?
00:07:42Eh, me?
00:07:43Well, of course
00:07:43Why shouldn't I be ready?
00:07:44Well, there's a rumour going round the London milk bars
00:07:46That you're short of fun
00:07:47Short of?
00:07:49What a scurrilous story
00:07:50Then we do open in Manchester
00:07:52Of course we do
00:07:52And you'll be careful what you say, my lad
00:07:54There'll be an action for slander on your hands
00:07:56Get me Lady Randall
00:07:58Give me Groven a 2-5-4-4, please
00:08:01I'm going to speak to the money now
00:08:03Hello?
00:08:04Hello?
00:08:05What?
00:08:06Oh, can I speak to Lady Randall, please?
00:08:09Who wants a piece?
00:08:10Well, what is it about?
00:08:11If Lady Randall wants you to know, she'll tell you
00:08:13It's her secretary
00:08:14She's a regular female bull
00:08:16Now, Lady Randall
00:08:17Just a moment
00:08:19You're through
00:08:22Oh
00:08:24Oh, dear
00:08:26Oh
00:08:27Oh
00:08:28Oh
00:08:28Let's have a list
00:08:31Oh
00:08:33Lady Randall, what?
00:08:35But
00:08:36Yes, I know, I know
00:08:37But on the last show, we didn't make a profit
00:08:39Profit has never interested me
00:08:41But at the same time, I refuse to be swindled
00:08:43One thing I detest is deceivingly
00:08:45Oh, she's got him daped, all right
00:08:48What's happening?
00:08:49Quiet!
00:08:55I assure you, that's without my private account
00:08:58It's just a coincidence that the amounts are the same
00:09:01Coincidence?
00:09:02Oh, I can't talk to the man
00:09:06And you may consider yourself very lucky we are not taking proceedings
00:09:08And don't try to communicate with my sister-in-law again
00:09:11In future, I'm handling all her business
00:09:17Well, that's a very handsome offer
00:09:19But I don't think I'll need all that
00:09:25That's grand
00:09:26Then I shall expect your checking course of both
00:09:29Goodbye, Lady Randall
00:09:35All right, the check's on its way
00:09:36Oh, yeah?
00:09:40Well, children, get on with your rehearsal
00:09:41I'm going down to the bank
00:09:42If anyone called, turn them off
00:09:44We're back in half an hour
00:09:44Tell them yourself I'm through
00:09:46Through?
00:09:47You mean you're finished?
00:09:49No, I mean you are
00:09:50He's gone as much chance with Lady Randall as I have
00:09:52And he's just been told so on the phone
00:09:54I thought there was a check in the course of the post
00:09:56Well, you wouldn't be too timing us, would you?
00:10:00Well, the fact is, there's been a bit of a hitch
00:10:02Is this check coming or was it?
00:10:03There's nothing to worry about, I assure you
00:10:05It'll all come right in the wash
00:10:07My brother wants to know a handyman
00:10:08Oh, what about these kids that have paid for their costumes?
00:10:11I'm sure something can be arranged
00:10:13You bet something can be arranged
00:10:15And don't listen
00:10:21Hello
00:10:27Yes, this is Lomas' office
00:10:29An appointment?
00:10:30I should go to Scotland Yard and wait these
00:10:33She's bound to turn up sooner or later
00:10:36Oh, well, that's that
00:10:37Three and a quarter minutes
00:10:39The shortest engagement I've ever had
00:10:40Yeah, what's all this about?
00:10:41His backer has backed down
00:10:43What, Lady Randall?
00:10:44Yeah, she's no ordinary backer
00:10:45She only puts up the money to keep the pros in work
00:10:47Whatever for?
00:10:48She used to be a pro herself
00:10:50Never heard of Lily Bennett
00:10:51What?
00:10:52You mean the old music hall, darling?
00:10:53Yes, where pros are concerned
00:10:54She's got a heart as big as a barrel
00:10:57Here!
00:10:58How about sacking Lomas and seeing the old girl ourselves?
00:11:00Well, what good would that do?
00:11:01Well, if she's got a heart as big as a barrel
00:11:03She might pull the bung out for us
00:11:04Come on
00:11:05Good idea
00:11:08Then let me do the talking, Arthur
00:11:10Oh, and I've thought out such a lovely speech
00:11:12With a heart-sob in every line
00:11:13It starts like this
00:11:14Lady Randall, as Shakespeare says
00:11:16All the world's a stage
00:11:17And all the men and women
00:11:19Would you take my card to Lady Latter, please?
00:11:22I'll take it, sir
00:11:22But her ladyship never sees anybody without an appointment
00:11:24Oh, you'd better take her one of mine, then
00:11:26I haven't an appointment either
00:11:33What is it, Salby?
00:11:35Two gentlemen to see her ladyship
00:11:36Your thick-hearted, the Arthur Askey, he's a scream
00:11:40Impertenance
00:11:40They're not gentlemen, Salby
00:11:41They're actors
00:11:42Send them away
00:11:44We'd only ask for 500 pounds to start with
00:11:46Yes
00:11:46I mean, we don't have to be greedy, do we?
00:11:48He's a gentleman
00:11:49Sorry, her ladyship is engaged
00:11:51And can't see anyone
00:11:57Well, we lost that round-on points
00:11:58Never say die, Dickie
00:12:00Oh, if we can't get in at the front
00:12:02Let's try a pencil movement
00:12:03And attack it from the rear
00:12:13Oh, excuse me
00:12:14What are all these people doing here?
00:12:16Well, they're not queuing up for the pictures
00:12:17They come after a job
00:12:18What sort of a job?
00:12:19Her ladyship wants a cook and footman
00:12:21Some people are lucky
00:12:23You've got to be both here
00:12:24There's a battle
00:12:25You're being invaded
00:12:25All right, all right
00:12:29Yes, please
00:12:36I've got a sensational idea
00:12:38I'm going to get in that queue
00:12:39We will see Lady Randall
00:12:40But she wants a foot and cookman
00:12:41I know, but once we get inside
00:12:42We can tell her the tale, can't we?
00:12:43I'll keep the place
00:12:44And you rush off and get Bobby
00:12:46Oh, you mean Bobby can be the cook?
00:12:47Yes
00:12:47Oh, Dickie, I see the whole idea
00:12:49Well, don't stand there looking at it
00:12:50Buzz off
00:12:55Next, please
00:12:57Hey, lad
00:12:58Well, whoever gets the job is welcome to it from me
00:12:59I've had more insults flying at me in five minutes
00:13:02And I've ever had in all my life
00:13:03Are you applying for the job?
00:13:05Yeah, I'm just waiting for my wife
00:13:12Two shillings on the clock, miss?
00:13:13There's the two shillings
00:13:14Can you change a threatening bit?
00:13:16Change a threatening bit?
00:13:17Yes, I always give a tip
00:13:19I wouldn't deprive you, lady
00:13:20Oh, no depravity
00:13:25I do hope I'm not late, dear husband
00:13:27Well, goodbye and good luck
00:13:30Who do you think you are?
00:13:31The woman of your choice
00:13:32Where's Bobby?
00:13:33I couldn't find her
00:13:34So I rifled the prop basket
00:13:35And here I am
00:13:36I jumped into the breach
00:13:37If you think I'm going to take you in there as my wife
00:13:39Good morning
00:13:40Good morning
00:13:44Are we next?
00:13:45We mustn't keep our ladyship waiting
00:13:49Follow me
00:13:52What name is he?
00:13:55Golightly
00:13:55Mrs. Golightly
00:13:57And this is my husband
00:13:58His name's Golightly, too
00:13:59Isn't that a coincidence?
00:14:26Good lady, your morning ship
00:14:27She doesn't ask you, lady Randall
00:14:29Mr. and Mrs. Golightly
00:14:32Lady Randall, we don't want to waste your time
00:14:33And I just wanted to tell you
00:14:34That we came here
00:14:35Please just answer the questions
00:14:36Her ladyship will put you
00:14:37That's quite all right, Miss Pilar
00:14:38Please sit down
00:14:39Thank you
00:14:46It's quite all right, your ladyship
00:14:47I far understand
00:14:49You naughty jumbo
00:14:50Get down
00:14:51Oh, I couldn't be unkind to him
00:14:54I'm so fond of animals
00:15:00I sit over there
00:15:05Get out of it
00:15:09Before we go any further, lady Randall
00:15:10I would just like to tell you
00:15:11Why we came here
00:15:12Lady Randall
00:15:12As Shakespeare says
00:15:13All the world on stage
00:15:15And all the men and women up
00:15:16Lady Randall, what we really wanted is
00:15:18I don't like her face
00:15:21Oh, it's horrible
00:15:23What a shame
00:15:24The poor little dog can't help his face
00:15:26I'm not talking about it
00:15:27I'm talking about yours
00:15:29It's worse than any of them
00:15:30Well, if it comes to that
00:15:31If you had a look at it
00:15:32Lady Randall, we didn't come here to
00:15:34I know
00:15:34But pay no attention to my father
00:15:36He's a sick man
00:15:39I'm not sick
00:15:39I'm as well as any of you
00:15:41You're trying to poison me
00:15:42That's what you're doing
00:15:43And if you turn out any more dogs like this
00:15:45I probably will be sick
00:15:46Right here
00:15:47Oh, father, please
00:15:49Tell me, Mrs. Goodlightly
00:15:51Who was your last employer?
00:15:53Well, let me see
00:15:54We were with Sir Oswald Stowell
00:15:55And prior to that
00:15:56We were two years with Mr. George Black, MP
00:15:58Oh, member of parliament
00:15:59No, manager of the palladium
00:16:01That's just what we wanted to see you about, lady Randall
00:16:04I think Sir Oswald has gone out
00:16:06I'll see who that is
00:16:09Lady Randall
00:16:10I wonder if we could have a few words with you alone
00:16:12Oh, you can speak quite freely here
00:16:13This is my father's physician, Dr. Pope
00:16:16Dr. Pope
00:16:17Dr. Jekyll, you mean
00:16:19And who are you, sir?
00:16:20I can't see her
00:16:20I demand you take my name in
00:16:22Don't you raise your voice to me
00:16:23I tell you, lady Randall's engaged
00:16:24Ah, my dear lady Randall
00:16:27How dare you force your wings at my house
00:16:29But your secretary wouldn't allow me
00:16:31My secretary is quite correct
00:16:32She has a list of people I don't want to see
00:16:34And you are honest
00:16:36But, my dear lady Randall
00:16:37You don't understand
00:16:38The company's already booked
00:16:39I'm not interested in you
00:16:41The company, the theatre
00:16:42Or anything connected with it
00:16:43Get out
00:16:46Shhh
00:16:47Dirty little rat for two fins
00:16:48I'd have wrung his blasted neck
00:16:50Sorry, Miss Playser
00:16:51Oh, that's what I like to hear
00:16:52The old family paddy's coming up
00:16:55You shouldn't upset yourself, lady Randall
00:16:57That wasn't lady Randall
00:16:59That was Lily Bennett
00:16:59Getting back to her old form
00:17:01Now, let me see
00:17:03Oh, dear, it's getting late
00:17:05I think we shall shoot each other
00:17:06And if you care to take the situation
00:17:08You can start right away
00:17:09We can start
00:17:11I'm not going to have any females
00:17:13Looking after me
00:17:13Prying round doorways
00:17:14And picking through keelves
00:17:16Father, you've had quite enough of that
00:17:17All the morning
00:17:18You've objected to everybody else
00:17:19And I've no more time to waste
00:17:21If it's agreeable to you
00:17:22You can start at one
00:17:23Yes, but I...
00:17:24Thank you, my lady
00:17:24If it's all right
00:17:25If you say so, I suppose she must
00:17:27Only let her look out, that's all
00:17:29Come along, please
00:17:30There's lunch to be cooked
00:17:32Yes, come along, my dear
00:17:33There's work to be done
00:17:34One moment, please
00:17:35This is Mr. Bennett's diet chart
00:17:38On no account is he to be given
00:17:39Anything that's not tabulated here
00:17:40You understand?
00:17:42Cook
00:17:43We understand
00:17:44You can rely on us
00:17:45Follow me, please
00:17:52You look better on top of an organ
00:17:58Hurry up, please
00:18:09This is your room
00:18:15Oh, only one
00:18:16Do we both sleep in there?
00:18:18No, my lady
00:18:19Aren't you?
00:18:20Of course
00:18:21Why, our little Willie's
00:18:22Just had his calling-up papers
00:18:23While you're taking off your hat
00:18:25I'll go and get the keys
00:18:25For the store, Father
00:18:29Come on, Dickie
00:18:30Quick, out the back way
00:18:31Don't be a fat head
00:18:32After all the trouble
00:18:33We had to get in
00:18:34We're not stopping here
00:18:35Of course we are
00:18:37What, as foot and cookman?
00:18:38Use your intelligence
00:18:39Now, when in
00:18:39We can see Lady Randall
00:18:40Whenever we like
00:18:41Oh, yes
00:18:42But we saw it
00:18:43Didn't do much good
00:18:43Not with Lomas
00:18:44Coming in and upsetting her
00:18:45But let us simmer down a bit
00:18:46And we'll tackle her again
00:18:47Yes, and in the meantime
00:18:49In the meantime
00:18:50We'll be two of the best servants
00:18:51She ever had
00:18:52Take your hat off
00:18:53Right
00:18:57Now, come into the kitchen
00:18:58I'll show you where everything is
00:18:59Oh, yes, that's so important, isn't it
00:19:01As I always said to dear Sir Oswald
00:19:03If you've got the right things
00:19:04In the right places
00:19:04You can always put your hands on them
00:19:06When you want them
00:19:09The small key is for the store cupboard
00:19:11The large one is for the cellar
00:19:12I think everything you want is secure
00:19:14What's over there?
00:19:15You're served lunch by one o'clock
00:19:17Mr. Belightly
00:19:18You'll find your livery in the other room
00:19:20You'll find his livery in any room
00:19:22No
00:19:23Uniform, my pet
00:19:24Yes, my sweet
00:19:26You're not going to cook in those clothes
00:19:28Oh, no fear
00:19:29I'm not going to have any gravy on my tailor-made
00:19:31While you're on duty
00:19:32You will always wear your overall cap and aching
00:19:34You have those, of course
00:19:35Have I?
00:19:37Of course
00:19:37Oh, yes
00:19:38With trousers to match
00:19:39Don't forget
00:19:40One o'clock sharp
00:19:40I'll be down shortly
00:19:41To see how you're getting along
00:19:45Come back
00:19:46We've got to get ready
00:19:46But I haven't got a cap overall and apron
00:19:48No, but you soon will have
00:19:49Look
00:19:53Oh, I can't say
00:19:54No, you're not taking them
00:19:55You're only bothering them
00:19:56Now, hurry up before she comes back
00:19:58Oh, I don't like to
00:19:59Oh, don't be a silly little woman
00:20:06Excuse me
00:20:07I wonder if I could borrow your cap and apron for a minute
00:20:09I'll bring them back when I'll finish with them
00:20:16They look a bit vague
00:20:17Well, try them on
00:20:18We can pin them up
00:20:18Hey, what about me?
00:20:19I've got a change too, I nearly forgot
00:20:21Don't be long
00:20:21Call the case
00:20:23Here
00:20:23Here, it makes me look as if I'm
00:20:25Oh, you've got it on back to the front
00:20:26Oh, aren't I, silly girl
00:20:27Here, hold that
00:20:30A car
00:20:38Hello
00:20:39I've been messing about with my laundry
00:20:42What's the matter?
00:20:43I'll put my clean cap and apron there
00:20:45Are you sure?
00:20:46Of course I'm sure
00:20:47I must be going barmy
00:20:51How do I look?
00:20:52Oh, not bad
00:20:52Does modem like the gusset at the back
00:20:54Or would modem prefer some pico edging in front?
00:20:58Modem would like some lunch
00:20:59Or modem's cook will be out on their gusset
00:21:02Oh, dicky
00:21:03If only Lord Wharton could see that
00:21:05Here you are
00:21:06The perfect society lunch
00:21:07Baked beans
00:21:08Baked beans in Mayfair
00:21:09Isn't that blue, soire?
00:21:11Doesn't say so on the label
00:21:12I know
00:21:13We'll open some sardines
00:21:14It's only a good idea
00:21:15It's only a good idea
00:21:25It's only a good idea
00:21:32Sardines
00:21:32Oh, but she prefers salmon
00:21:34You're not opening those tins for lunch, are you?
00:21:36Well, it is a bit soon
00:21:37But we'll cover them up to keep the flies off
00:21:39But didn't you find a joint
00:21:40In this refrigerator?
00:21:41We didn't expect to find a refrigerator in this joint
00:21:44Oh?
00:21:45We didn't want to bust it
00:21:47Could be done all at once
00:21:49Lady Randall likes her lunch promptly
00:21:50What a problem
00:21:57I wonder if she's
00:21:58After you
00:21:59I wonder if she'd like it boiled, fried or minced
00:22:01Roast, I should say
00:22:02Do you know how to do it?
00:22:03Yes, just bang it in the oven
00:22:05Shut the door and leave it
00:22:06Oh, I think it's a bit more involved than that
00:22:08You'll soon see
00:22:11We had a 2,000 recite
00:22:12And this is Alvar Liddell reading them to you
00:22:15Meats boiled
00:22:18Meats braised
00:22:18Meats roast
00:22:20Last
00:22:22First wipe the joint with the damp cloth
00:22:24Damp cloth
00:22:27It's hot water taps, a liar
00:22:30One damp cloth coming up
00:22:35Trim off any superfluous fat
00:22:40No, not that
00:22:43That's his rudder
00:22:44We're not leaving something to wag
00:22:46Wait a minute
00:22:47Place in the roasting tin
00:22:49Best side downwards
00:22:50Now, which is his best side?
00:22:52Well, that's his right side
00:22:53That's his left side
00:22:54That's his front side
00:22:55And that's his back
00:22:56Best side
00:22:57Yeah, well, put that down
00:22:58The time required for roasting
00:23:01Will depend on the thickness of the meat
00:23:02But usually a quarter of an hour to the pound
00:23:04And a quarter of an hour over
00:23:05That's one for each and one for the pot
00:23:06Now, the first thing to do is to weigh it
00:23:09Ah
00:23:10You know, I didn't think cooking was as easy as this
00:23:14Who is this Mrs. Beaton, anyway?
00:23:17That's two pounds
00:23:18Three pounds
00:23:19And...
00:23:22That's three pounds and three Aussies
00:23:23Aussies?
00:23:24Yes, those little ones
00:23:25Well, the Aussies is an ounce
00:23:26Oh, that's three pounds
00:23:27Three quarters of an hour
00:23:29And the extra quarter
00:23:30That makes an hour
00:23:31How much shall we allow for each nonce?
00:23:33Makes it a bit difficult
00:23:34Hmm
00:23:35I think it's his rudder that's putting it out
00:23:37I told you so
00:23:38Let's have it off
00:23:38Now, garnish with potatoes
00:23:41And place in a medium oven
00:23:42Ah
00:23:45Statoes
00:23:48Hey, don't put that there
00:23:50You don't know where it's been
00:23:53Yeah, how many spanks?
00:23:54Two for each pound and two over
00:23:56Oh, get on with it
00:24:08This is it
00:24:09Hurry in with it
00:24:18Now we want the match
00:24:19Don't need a match
00:24:20This is worked by electricity
00:24:21Oh
00:24:22All you have to do is to switch it on
00:24:24That shows you that it's on
00:24:25What's the time?
00:24:28Ten to twelve
00:24:29Oh?
00:24:30Lunch will be ready three and a half minutes too soon
00:24:32We should have left the rudder on
00:24:33That would put us right
00:24:35Let's put it in
00:24:36Here
00:24:36Let's put these potatoes in too
00:24:39Well, now we've cooked the joint
00:24:41What about the afters?
00:24:42You mean sweet or savoury or something
00:24:44What's the date?
00:24:45April the 1st
00:24:46Pancake Tuesday
00:24:48Pancakes
00:24:48Pancakes
00:24:50Pancakes
00:24:50Pancakes
00:24:51Here we are
00:24:52Sim into a basin
00:24:53Half a pound of self-raising flour
00:24:55Along with a tablespoon of caster sugar
00:24:56And a piece of salt
00:24:57Add one or two eggs
00:25:00Eggs
00:25:00Eggs?
00:25:02Can't get eggs
00:25:03Pancakes
00:25:03Pancakes
00:25:05No good
00:25:07Ah, well, it's gravy
00:25:08My favourite dish
00:25:09Take one ounce of butter
00:25:11Half a glass of ale or milk
00:25:13We don't want any milk
00:25:14A little salt and mustard
00:25:15And half a pound of cheese
00:25:16Cheese?
00:25:17Can't get cheese
00:25:19First gravy
00:25:21No good
00:25:23What about an economical salad?
00:25:25Mix together equal quantities of haricot beans
00:25:27Cold potatoes cut into thin slices
00:25:29And add a little finely chopped onion
00:25:31Ha ha ha
00:25:32Onion
00:25:34Economical salad
00:25:37No good
00:25:43Well, now we've thinned it down to the basic dishes
00:25:47Say, Dickie
00:25:48I've got an idea
00:25:49What is it?
00:25:50How about opening a tin of pineapple?
00:25:52Why didn't we think of that before?
00:25:54Well, I thought pineapple
00:25:55No good
00:26:01Look at the kettle
00:26:05There's no light under it
00:26:06I know, it's an electric kettle
00:26:07When we switch the oven on
00:26:08We must have switched this on, too
00:26:09Never mind, it'll do for the coffee
00:26:11Look, what's the time?
00:26:12Ten to one
00:26:12The joint
00:26:13We must have a look at it
00:26:14When?
00:26:14Is that wise?
00:26:15I mean, that's in the cold air in
00:26:16Oh, it should be done for now
00:26:17Well, it'll be a bit hard for me
00:26:18I haven't got a floor
00:26:19Well, what'll we do?
00:26:20I know
00:26:21We'll surprise you
00:26:22Yes
00:26:28Right
00:26:37It doesn't look very brown, does it?
00:26:40But the paper
00:26:45It's cold
00:26:48Stone cold
00:26:49Well, the kettle's still boiling
00:26:50I know
00:26:51I'll bet there's a fuse gun
00:26:53Where's the fuse box?
00:26:54Hey, what's this?
00:26:55Low, medium, high
00:26:57That's the trouble
00:26:58We never switch the oven on
00:26:59No, no, there's a fuse gun
00:27:02It's getting hot already
00:27:03Nothing to do with the fuse
00:27:07I tell you, there's a fuse gun
00:27:09There's no fuse gun
00:27:10I think this one has
00:27:11Of course it has
00:27:16Yes, now
00:27:19Oh, I
00:27:21How'd you do?
00:27:22It's ten minutes to one
00:27:23And you haven't laid the table yet
00:27:24I'm just coming up now
00:27:26I hope lunch isn't going to be late
00:27:27Not more than a minute or two
00:27:29Or three
00:27:30Very well
00:27:30Be on time
00:27:33Now what are we going to do?
00:27:35Well, can't we just warm it through
00:27:37And put some hot gravy on it
00:27:38Like you do in the restaurants
00:27:39I'll need to do that now
00:27:40You'll fuse the oven
00:27:40Well, perhaps the cook next door
00:27:42Let us use her
00:27:43Not a good idea
00:27:43Don't ask her
00:27:45Uh-oh
00:27:45Dining room, that'll be for me
00:27:47I've got to go and lay the table
00:27:48Oh, Dickie
00:27:48Dickie
00:27:49Take a long time
00:27:50Open it
00:27:50A very long time
00:28:00Excuse me
00:28:40Are you always as slow as this?
00:28:42Oh, no, Miss
00:28:42But these forks haven't been polished
00:28:44As we like to see them
00:28:46I remember once
00:28:47When we were with the Gaylord Quecks
00:28:49Darnsley as well
00:28:49Did you know we were so successful on
00:28:51You can tell me about that
00:28:52Some other time
00:28:53Yes, right
00:28:54Let me see
00:28:55How many will there be for lunch?
00:28:56Four, including Mr. Bennett
00:28:57But he only has rust and fruit
00:28:59I'll attend to him
00:28:59Come on, come on
00:29:01Let's go
00:29:01Let's go
00:29:03Half one o'clock
00:29:09Ah, well, this muck again
00:29:18Rusts
00:29:18Anybody think I was cutting me teeth
00:29:20If I have many more rusts
00:29:22I shall begin to look like a rust
00:29:24Is lunch ready?
00:29:25Well, it's not
00:29:26It's cell-cooked to serve it
00:29:28At once
00:29:28Well, my lady, I
00:29:34Now, who's going to be mother?
00:29:37Lovely lamb
00:29:39Mint sauce
00:29:40It looks perfectly delicious
00:29:41There I go
00:29:42My lady
00:29:47All right, all right
00:29:49It's coming up
00:29:51Shouldn't gulp your soup so quickly
00:29:56Mint sauce
00:29:57Mint sauce
00:29:59Oh, hello, Bill
00:30:02Hello, Kathleen
00:30:03And what brings you here this morning?
00:30:05I've all to believe that
00:30:06Hmm, smells good, my blue-eyed beauty
00:30:09You can pot it out whenever you like
00:30:11Oh, can I?
00:30:12Now, don't you go and let in the smell of food
00:30:13Spoil your good manners
00:30:14Well, ain't the old girl finished yet?
00:30:16Well, the joint's only just gone up
00:30:18I hope she don't make a pig of herself
00:30:19I'm so hungry, I can eat raw meat
00:30:23Kathleen
00:30:25What is the meaning of this?
00:30:28You have a duck, it's raw
00:30:29After ten years, Kathleen
00:30:31You must know that I would never countenance practical joking
00:30:34But, Mama
00:30:35You had better prepare a cold lunch at once
00:30:37Yes, ma'am
00:30:39Was it a practical joke?
00:30:41Now I know I'm going off me nut
00:30:43Look at the sparks
00:30:44I've peeled them myself
00:30:45You couldn't have done
00:30:46But I remember doing it
00:30:48There, dearly, old girl
00:30:49You've been overworking
00:30:50That's what's the matter with you
00:30:51But I
00:30:54An excellent meal
00:30:56Thank you, my lady
00:30:56Shall I serve coffee now?
00:30:58Please
00:30:58Very good, my lady
00:30:59And ask Cook to come up
00:31:00Yes, my lady
00:31:02Cook, come up, please
00:31:03And bring the coffee
00:31:11Fluffy, please
00:31:11Go down, you fool
00:31:13And come up properly
00:31:15Is Cook coming?
00:31:16I want to congratulate her
00:31:18All right for you
00:31:19Blowing yourselves out with real food
00:31:23I trust the luncheon was to your satisfaction, my lady
00:31:26Very good, indeed
00:31:27Oh, dear
00:31:27We're packing the two fifty-five from King's Tross
00:31:29I want you both to help with the packing
00:31:31Packing?
00:31:32Oh, I forgot to tell you
00:31:33We're going for a week to Harrogate
00:31:35Oh, goody-goody
00:31:36I mean, very good, my lady
00:31:37You'd better hurry and tidy up the kitchen
00:31:39I'll be down in a minute and take you to the bedroom
00:31:40Very good
00:31:51How on earth did you manage to turn out a meal like that?
00:31:54Never mind how it works, all right, didn't it?
00:31:56The old girl's tickled to death
00:31:57Well, now's the time to talk to her
00:31:58After the next meal, we mightn't be quite so popular
00:32:00Be the chance on the train
00:32:06Albert
00:32:07Hello
00:32:08What are you doing here?
00:32:10Having a bit of work
00:32:11Put those pieces down
00:32:12He's putting them down as fast as he can
00:32:15Blimey, who are you supposed to be?
00:32:16Never mind about him, how did you get here?
00:32:18I followed you
00:32:18I thought you were after something
00:32:19Well, you'd better hop it quick
00:32:20Hop it
00:32:21That's good enough for you is good enough for me
00:32:23And if you stay, so do I
00:32:25Of course
00:32:29No bread today, thank you, postman
00:32:32Follow me, please
00:32:33You can bring some of the bags down here to the hall
00:32:35Yes
00:32:36Call back next week with two browns and a coffee
00:32:52There we are
00:32:53Take these away
00:32:58Now all we've got to do is get our things
00:33:00We won't be five minutes
00:33:01Your things?
00:33:02Yes, we can't go to Harrogate without a toothbrush
00:33:04You're not going to Harrogate
00:33:05You're engaged to stop here and look after Mr. Bennet
00:33:08You mean Lady Randall's going without us?
00:33:11Well, of course
00:33:11Surely you understood that
00:33:13Here's some money for the week's housekeeping
00:33:15And I need hardly tell you
00:33:16I shall want to see your accounts when I return
00:33:18Goodbye, Pops
00:33:19Dear, now take good care of yourself, won't you?
00:33:21Yes
00:33:21I shall be back next week
00:33:22Yes, all right, all
00:33:23And if you stop at Doncaster, get me a bit of butterscotch
00:33:26You mustn't have butterscotch
00:33:27Of course you would say something, you old narc
00:33:29I wish you'd go to Harrogate too
00:33:33Well, goodbye
00:33:34Don't forget to take care of my father
00:33:35He's a little ventures
00:33:37You know, so
00:33:38Don't let him out of your sight
00:33:39Dear Lady Randall, before you go
00:33:41There's something we want to tell you
00:33:42We hope we've given you every satisfaction
00:33:44Because we wanted to ask
00:33:45Not to rise already
00:33:47Lady Randall, as Shakespeare says
00:33:49I know all about that too
00:33:50But I've no time to listen
00:33:52How long, Miss Pies?
00:33:53I won't we start a thing?
00:33:54I'll see you at the stage
00:34:01Well, you had a sensational idea, all right
00:34:03All we have to do is go in as a couple of servants
00:34:06And we can see Lady Randall when we like
00:34:13She's only gone for a week
00:34:14We can talk to her when she comes back
00:34:16Do you think I'm going to be a skivvy for seven weary days?
00:34:18Not Pygmalion likely
00:34:21But we can't walk out with all this money
00:34:23Besides what the old man do
00:34:24He can do just what he likes
00:34:26I don't like his face either, see?
00:34:30Now listen, Arthur, don't be a silly little man
00:34:32Just think for a minute
00:34:33He has a grand chance to show her that we're reliable people
00:34:36People she can trust with her money
00:34:37You're not thinking of chugging a pussy job like this
00:34:39To go back on the stage, are you?
00:34:41Well, if I am going to stay here
00:34:43Then I'm going to regain my lost manhood for a start
00:34:45That's the point
00:34:57The first thing we've got to do is to tell Bobby to keep the gang together
00:34:59The first thing to do is to answer that bell
00:35:01Oh, yes, the bell
00:35:02It's funny, I suppose that'll be thought
00:35:04Go and see what he wants
00:35:05Okay
00:35:06I'll give Bobby a ring
00:35:07Oh, shut up, you bell
00:35:12Is the woman deaf as well as dumb?
00:35:15What's the matter with you all down there?
00:35:16I nearly wore my thumb out
00:35:17Get me a whiskey and soda
00:35:18Whiskey and soda?
00:35:20Yes
00:35:21According to this diet list
00:35:23Oh, according to the diet list, nothing
00:35:25I'm master here now
00:35:26You do as you're told
00:35:27Sorry, sir, you can't have a whiskey and soda
00:35:28Oh, can't I?
00:35:30I'll show you
00:35:31I'll get it myself
00:35:32Not too much soda, either
00:35:34Yes, okay, Bobby
00:35:35Yes
00:35:37Yes
00:35:38Bye-bye, Bobby
00:35:39Who's this?
00:35:40This is our son
00:35:41Son?
00:35:42That's right, I've come to help Mum and Daddy
00:35:43Well, I don't like your face, either
00:35:45Who told me you could come here?
00:35:46Nobody, I guessed it
00:35:47He always comes to us
00:35:48He's very useful to run errands and things
00:35:50Aren't you, Junior?
00:35:51Sure, pal
00:35:51I don't like strangers about the house
00:35:53Oh, it's quite all right, I'm housebroken
00:35:55Arthur, Arthur
00:35:56Oh, blimey, you'd better come down
00:35:58Oh, sorry
00:36:00And who's this?
00:36:01All this is our nephew
00:36:02The cousin
00:36:02The cousin
00:36:03He's our fast-spotter
00:36:04Cousin, wife
00:36:05Son
00:36:06Cousin
00:36:07Here, whose house is this?
00:36:08Yours or mine?
00:36:09Where is she?
00:36:10I was in there, where is she?
00:36:12And I suppose this is your aunt
00:36:14No, that's the cook from next door
00:36:15What, she living here, too?
00:36:16No good talking upstairs
00:36:18Come down and face it
00:36:18Well, you'd better come down before she starts begging the house up
00:36:20You say there, Pop
00:36:22Watch, stop here when I might be a scrap
00:36:24I'm coming for you
00:36:25I'd like a bit of fun
00:36:26Same as the rest
00:36:26It is
00:36:27Now then, what's all the trouble?
00:36:32Where is she?
00:36:32That's what I want to know
00:36:33Where is she?
00:36:34She?
00:36:34Who's she?
00:36:35The little twerp of a cook
00:36:36Oh, Daddy, she called Mammy a twerp
00:36:37I call her something worse than that
00:36:39Coming into my place
00:36:40Taking my clothes
00:36:41Stealing the very meat off my stove
00:36:42Don't be ridiculous
00:36:44Ridiculous, eh?
00:36:45Then what's my clothes doing in this kitchen?
00:36:47And our sauce boat
00:36:49With our initials in this here
00:36:50Come to that
00:36:51What are you doing in this here kitchen?
00:36:52That's right, go on
00:36:53Mix it up, mix it up
00:36:54You let me lay my hands on that woman
00:36:56But there's no woman here
00:36:57Oh, yes, there is
00:36:58His mother
00:36:59Sees here and sees the one you want
00:37:00I'll go and fetch her for you
00:37:02No, no, no, no, no, sir
00:37:02You mustn't disturb her
00:37:03She's lying down
00:37:04She'll be lying down a long time
00:37:06When I've finished with her
00:37:08Now, now look here, my good woman
00:37:09I'm not a good woman
00:37:11Woo!
00:37:11Woo, that's good, now
00:37:12Leave with your lips
00:37:13Woo, oh, that's okay, with me
00:37:14That's okay, come on, then
00:37:15Come on, ace for weight
00:37:16Ace for weight, come on
00:37:17You little woman, you old gorilla
00:37:18A good winner, you fiddle-faced old bag of truth
00:37:21Oh, I see what it is
00:37:23Three men against one woman
00:37:24If my bill was there, he'd belt the lot of you
00:37:27I'll tell you
00:37:28Oh, especially about you, Mr. Four Eyes
00:37:31Oh
00:37:40What is all this?
00:37:41Well, uh, my poor mother
00:37:44Who's not very well, you know
00:37:45She's confined
00:37:46To her bedroom
00:37:47She had a bit of difficulty with the stove
00:37:48And as the meat wasn't cooked
00:37:50She thought she'd borrow some from next door
00:37:52So that you wouldn't be disappointed
00:37:53What?
00:37:54Pinch somebody else's joint
00:37:56Yes, that's right
00:37:59That's grand
00:38:01It is, good, isn't it?
00:38:02That's beautiful
00:38:03I know
00:38:05Nothing could be better
00:38:07We, uh, we thought it would be rather fun
00:38:08Yes
00:38:09Now I've got a lever on you
00:38:11A lever?
00:38:13Yes
00:38:13A nice little story to tell my daughter
00:38:15Oh, you wouldn't do that, would you?
00:38:17Well, it depends what you do for me, you know
00:38:19We'd do for you
00:38:20What?
00:38:21We'd do anything for you
00:38:22Oh, that's all right, then
00:38:23Now I'll have a nice whiskey and soda for a start
00:38:26Good, Albert
00:38:26Go get the whiskey bottle
00:38:27It's in the dining room
00:38:28Now, how about cooking some eggs and bacon?
00:38:32Cooking?
00:38:33Well, my poor mother
00:38:34Oh, it's not very well, you know
00:38:35Oh, never mind your mother
00:38:36I can cook eggs and bacon
00:38:37You can?
00:38:38Of course I can
00:38:39Well, make it for four, then
00:38:44Oh, help, I quite forgot the stoves first
00:38:46Oh, these newfangled things are always going wrong
00:38:48I'll use what I'm always using
00:38:50Yes, please
00:38:52Well, chase my aunt funny around the Balkans
00:38:54We could have used that
00:38:55There we are
00:38:55Four whiskies and soda
00:38:57Oh, that's a sum
00:39:01Ah, I'll have a free lunch
00:39:03What?
00:39:05Ah, this reminds me of the old days
00:39:07I always used to cook my own food when I was on tour
00:39:09On tour?
00:39:11Well, you were in the show business
00:39:11Haven't you ever heard of William Bennet?
00:39:13Tops of bills everywhere in the country
00:39:15Oh, William Bennet
00:39:16Oh, yes
00:39:17Well, that's me
00:39:18Yes, of course
00:39:19You were a juggler, weren't you?
00:39:21A juggler, me foot
00:39:22I was Bill Dead-Eye
00:39:23The best sharp super in the world
00:39:24You know I used to stand a man 150 yards away
00:39:27I know
00:39:27Shoot an apple off his head
00:39:28Apple?
00:39:30All the other acts did that
00:39:31I used the great
00:39:33There you are
00:39:33What do you think of that?
00:39:34In the old days
00:39:35I was the best friar in the business
00:39:37Things must have altered since you retired
00:39:39Who said I'd retire?
00:39:41I'm going to stage a comeback one of these days
00:39:43With a show of me own
00:39:44One I've written myself
00:39:45Full of shooting, fighting
00:39:46Cowboys, Indians
00:39:47Is your daughter going to back it?
00:39:49Certainly not
00:39:49I'm going to back it myself
00:39:51Out of me own savings
00:39:53Have you got some of those?
00:39:54Yes, bag them
00:39:55We've got a terrific show just waiting to be put on
00:39:57You have?
00:39:58This isn't our game, really
00:39:59We're only doing this as a fillet
00:40:00We're pros
00:40:01If we could get our show for that
00:40:02We'd make a fortune
00:40:03Not with that
00:40:04Yes, but our show's got wonderful music
00:40:06Beautiful costumes
00:40:08And lovely girls
00:40:10Ah, that's the way you're wrong
00:40:11And that's what's wrong with all those sort of shows
00:40:13Who wants to see women?
00:40:14They're just a petishing nuisance
00:40:16Petishing, yes
00:40:16But, oh, what a lovely death
00:40:18Here we are
00:40:18It's all done now
00:40:19Come on, get it
00:40:20Right down the car, Albert
00:40:22Someone at the front door bear
00:40:23Better go and answer him
00:40:24I've got you in the lunch hour
00:40:25Not likely
00:40:26Got to have an hour off for lunch
00:40:27Trade union room
00:40:28Well, it might be important
00:40:29Somebody's got to go
00:40:30Well, you're not sitting in concrete, are you?
00:40:32It comes to something when I keep a dog
00:40:34And I've got to bark myself
00:40:35I don't know
00:40:36Oh, I don't, I'm coming, I'm coming
00:40:38Hey, he might have cooked a bit of fried bread
00:40:40Your appetite's disgusting
00:40:41Oh, he's laying in a store for the winter
00:40:50Who are you?
00:40:50I'm looking for that little bloke with spectacles
00:40:52What do you want with him?
00:40:53He's been insulting my girl
00:40:54And I'm going to knock his block off
00:40:55Oh, good
00:40:56I know where he is
00:40:57I'll fetch him for you
00:40:58Come on
00:40:58Oh, wait a minute
00:40:59If he sees you, he won't come in
00:41:01Now, you wait outside
00:41:03And don't come in
00:41:04Until you hear me whistle
00:41:05All right, but any funny business
00:41:07And I'll start on you too
00:41:08It's all right
00:41:08Wait out
00:41:10Is he good?
00:41:11Is he good?
00:41:17Oh, wait a minute
00:41:19Oh, wait a minute
00:41:40Titch.
00:41:41Come upstairs.
00:41:42That was Pop, wasn't it?
00:41:44Titch.
00:41:45Who's that?
00:41:45He means you.
00:41:47Me?
00:41:47Hmm.
00:41:48The names I get.
00:41:49You know what somebody called me yesterday?
00:41:51Mr. Shorthouse.
00:41:53Come on!
00:41:54Come on!
00:41:55Hurry up!
00:41:56What's up?
00:41:56Come sit down.
00:41:57In this chair, over here.
00:41:59Come sit down.
00:41:59At ease of silence.
00:41:59That's it.
00:42:00Down there.
00:42:01Here you are.
00:42:02Now, would you like to take your coat off?
00:42:04What for?
00:42:05Well, you don't have to.
00:42:05It's quite optional.
00:42:06Only some of them like to, see?
00:42:08Now, you're nice and comfortable.
00:42:09Yeah.
00:42:10Can you whistle like this?
00:42:11Oh, yes.
00:42:12Well, let's hear you.
00:42:19So you're the little squirt that's been insulting my girl.
00:42:22Me?
00:42:23I've never seen you before in my life.
00:42:25Well, have a good look at me now before I bang both your eyes up.
00:42:28Start proper now.
00:42:29In your corner.
00:42:29Mark for the Queensbury room.
00:42:30Shut up, you.
00:42:31Where the...
00:42:33Oh, Dickie!
00:42:34Oh, just a minute.
00:42:35This time, next train, everything.
00:42:37Dickie!
00:42:48Come up here!
00:42:49Come up here, you little...
00:42:50Dickie, help!
00:42:52Dickie, help us!
00:42:53Help!
00:42:55Come up here!
00:43:01Oh, there's Sappy.
00:43:02This uncivil servant tried to kill me.
00:43:03Who is he?
00:43:04He's the bloke who's going out with the cook next door.
00:43:10Hey, who's with him?
00:43:12Who's with him?
00:43:20There they go.
00:43:21Oh, good, good.
00:43:48Hey, we'd better carry them across the road.
00:43:53I can't lift him, I'll do myself an injury.
00:43:55Come on, Pop, Pop!
00:43:56Where's Pop?
00:43:57Oh, you're competent, you've lost him.
00:43:59Well, we mustn't lose him, we've told him to let him out of our sight.
00:44:01Yeah, you take the dog's home and we'll go and look for him.
00:44:03Well, get him.
00:44:04Pop!
00:44:16Hello.
00:44:17This loan was his office.
00:44:18Yes, we've got nothing for you today.
00:44:19I'm not looking for work.
00:44:20What?
00:44:21Look, do me a flavor.
00:44:22Go away.
00:44:23I'm trying to write.
00:44:24We don't want any character actors.
00:44:26We've got millions of them out of work already.
00:44:28I'm not an actor.
00:44:30I'm one of the heads.
00:44:31I've come to back a show.
00:44:33Though he had the right intentions, still he was good and true.
00:44:37What rhymes with intention?
00:44:40Leslie Henson.
00:44:41Leslie Henson.
00:44:43What did you say?
00:44:44I said Leslie Henson.
00:44:45No, no, no.
00:44:46Before Jack, you said something about backing a show.
00:44:48That's right.
00:44:48With Mazuma, with real cash money.
00:44:50Why, of course.
00:44:50Is that on the open now?
00:44:51Why, of course it is.
00:44:52My dear Santa Claus, come into the office.
00:44:54Where have you been all my life?
00:44:55Who is there?
00:44:56Come inside.
00:44:57Take a sit down.
00:44:58Give me your hat.
00:44:59You got a cigarette?
00:45:00Yes.
00:45:01You're low, my Santa.
00:45:02Well, I brought you my private office, didn't I?
00:45:04What a lucky geezer you are.
00:45:06You want to put on a show, and I've got the very show for you.
00:45:10I don't want your show.
00:45:10I've got one in my own.
00:45:11And what's more, they'll make a big sensation in the West End and go just as big in the Providence's.
00:45:16I'm not interested.
00:45:16But you haven't heard nothing yet.
00:45:18We've got a tip-top slap-up production with a 30-piece orchestra, 24 beautiful gorgeous girls, and 20 gorgeous
00:45:23costumes.
00:45:24And that's just what the public don't want.
00:45:25All right, so we'll cut it down to 10 costumes.
00:45:28Nope.
00:45:29This is the play I'm going to back, beat, and nothing else.
00:45:31Who wrote it?
00:45:32William Bennet.
00:45:33Never heard of him.
00:45:34Some unknown, unemployed, out-of-work hack writer.
00:45:36I?
00:45:37I'll let you know that I am William Bennet.
00:45:39All right, so I dropped a brick.
00:45:42Bennet.
00:45:42Bennet?
00:45:43No relation to Lily Bennet, Lady Randall?
00:45:45He's my daughter.
00:45:47Ah, Mr. Bennet.
00:45:49Well, of course, I should have known right away the same clean-cut features.
00:45:53Oh, never mind about my features.
00:45:54What about the show?
00:45:55There it is.
00:45:56Buckaroos.
00:45:57Broncos.
00:45:58I'm blood-free.
00:45:59Buckaroos.
00:46:00Broncos.
00:46:01Blah.
00:46:01That's the title.
00:46:02Anything wrong with it?
00:46:03No, no, of course not.
00:46:04It's sensational.
00:46:05All right, then get on with it.
00:46:06I don't care what it costs.
00:46:07Don't you worry about anything.
00:46:08I'll have a full cast and submit you between 24 hours.
00:46:11And mind you do.
00:46:12Don't forget there's plenty more agents.
00:46:13I know that.
00:46:14But you couldn't come for a better man than me.
00:46:16Why?
00:46:17I'll do myself a good turn for you.
00:46:19Oh.
00:46:20And don't cast anybody for the part of Robin Hood of the Pampers.
00:46:23Why, you gonna cut the character out?
00:46:24No.
00:46:25I'm gonna play it myself.
00:46:42I still think we ought to have looked in the lake.
00:46:44There he is.
00:46:45Why do I get my hands on him?
00:46:47Oh, Dicky.
00:46:47That man again.
00:46:48Help!
00:46:48Help!
00:46:54Open this door, do you hear me?
00:46:55Open it up!
00:47:00Bill!
00:47:01What have I done, Sonia?
00:47:04A pretty piece of jousting for suit?
00:47:06Yes.
00:47:07Well, you'd better get ready for another joust.
00:47:08The doctor's here.
00:47:09What?
00:47:09Yes, he's been in half an hour and he'd like to see the old man.
00:47:12Aye, so would wait.
00:47:15Ah, so you're back at last.
00:47:16Oh, hello, Doctor.
00:47:17Where's Mr. Bennet?
00:47:18Well, as a matter of fact, he's still out walking.
00:47:20By himself?
00:47:20I hope so.
00:47:21I think so, sir.
00:47:22You've consistently disregarded my instructions.
00:47:24Oh, but Doctor.
00:47:24Not one dose taken.
00:47:26Your wife had orders to give it to him three times a day.
00:47:28Where is she?
00:47:28I must see her immediately.
00:47:30But Doctor, it isn't really Mother's fault.
00:47:31No, she's not being very well.
00:47:32She's confined to her bed.
00:47:34Then I'll go down and see her.
00:47:34There's no need for that, Doctor.
00:47:35Not at all.
00:47:36She's much better today.
00:47:37She can come up and see you.
00:47:39Junior, go and get your mother.
00:47:40Yes, but I...
00:47:40Don't argue.
00:47:41Don't you think of...
00:47:45...the other grasshopper's back.
00:47:47Oh!
00:47:48Two grasshopper's down side over the other grasshopper's back.
00:47:51Oh!
00:47:52Two grasshopper's down side over the other grasshopper's back.
00:47:52Oh, so long.
00:47:53The other grasshopper's back.
00:47:54Oh!
00:47:54I was only playing leapfrog.
00:47:58Oh, hello.
00:47:59What are you doing here?
00:48:00I was only playing leapfrog.
00:48:02Mr. Bennet, you've been taking alcohol.
00:48:04Taking it?
00:48:05I've been playing one and a zander the double for it.
00:48:07Mr. Bennet!
00:48:08Mr. Bennet!
00:48:09Mr. Bennet!
00:48:10Mr. Bennet!
00:48:10What do you want to come and stick in your nose round here for, eh?
00:48:13You are that for a couple of guineas or something.
00:48:16Hey, we're lonely, please.
00:48:18Hurry up.
00:48:21Where's your dress?
00:48:22Oh, Mrs. Fireman's taken it back.
00:48:24Well, we'll have to get it again.
00:48:25You can't go up like that.
00:48:27I can't get it. She's there.
00:48:29Wilson, fix that.
00:48:30I'll get her away.
00:48:50For me lunch, I had eggs and bacon. What do you think of that?
00:48:54You'll ruin your constitution.
00:48:55It's the one that I got in the constitution.
00:48:57After the pig swill you've been falling down me.
00:48:59Where is this cook?
00:49:00Well, she shouldn't be here any moment.
00:49:05Oh, Dr. Pope, this is a pleasure.
00:49:07Here, what are you doing up?
00:49:09Good morning, Mr. Bennet.
00:49:09Oh, get out of here.
00:49:10Take that face with you.
00:49:11Go on. Shoot.
00:49:12Shoot.
00:49:13Shoot.
00:49:13Shoot.
00:49:14Madam, you've entirely ignored that diet chart I gave you.
00:49:16Here, here.
00:49:17It's nothing to do with her.
00:49:18You see, my poor wife, who's not been very well.
00:49:20And has been confined to her bed.
00:49:22Then it is up to you to see that Mr. Bennet had his medicine.
00:49:24But he seems so much better without it.
00:49:25You bet you my life, I'm out for you quite young again.
00:49:29Whoopee!
00:49:30Mr. Bennet.
00:49:31Shh.
00:49:40Here.
00:49:41You may need this yourself.
00:49:43Whoop!
00:49:44Whoop!
00:49:46Whoopee!
00:49:46Runs right off with gloves like everything.
00:49:49Runs right off with everything.
00:49:50Runs right off with everything.
00:49:52Runs right off with everything.
00:49:53Runs right off with everything.
00:49:56Whoopee!
00:49:57If he does that on bacon and eggs we'd better not give him any meat.
00:50:00I'll have tea and toast at 4.30 in me dugout.
00:50:03Okay, Pomp.
00:50:04You know, the old wife.
00:50:06Oh, so.
00:50:07Oh!
00:50:08I thought so.
00:50:09Wearing it as bold as brass, you dirty little tea leaf.
00:50:12Whoop!
00:50:13You bet any nothing!
00:50:15Murder!
00:50:15Please!
00:50:16Blimey, there'll be murder!
00:50:21If he gets you, I'll tear you apart!
00:50:25Take him!
00:50:26Take him!
00:50:27Oh!
00:50:32Oh!
00:50:33You after you!
00:50:34Take him off with!
00:50:37Oh, diggy!
00:50:38Oh!
00:50:39Oh!
00:50:39Oh!
00:50:40Oh!
00:50:40Oh!
00:50:40Come here.
00:50:45Open up behind, lady!
00:50:47It's woman to woman!
00:50:51Oh!
00:50:52Oh!
00:50:52Open the glass!
00:50:53Come out, you snake in the grass!
00:50:57Hey, don't go.
00:50:58That is valuable!
00:50:59Oh!
00:51:01And so was that!
00:51:03Woman to woman!
00:51:04So you want to play ball?
00:51:05Oh!
00:51:06Sorry, Caw.
00:51:08There'll be massacre!
00:51:09Open this door!
00:51:19You, I see you!
00:51:42Ah, cookie, cookie, steady.
00:51:44Take your hands off me.
00:51:46There you are.
00:51:48Now, very long lady, good girl.
00:51:49We've got all you came for.
00:51:51If either of you ever set foot in my kitchen again,
00:51:54you'll get more than you came for, you twerps.
00:52:00Oh, Dicky, I think I'm ruined.
00:52:02You think you're ruined? Just look at this room.
00:52:04All the floor?
00:52:05Yes, it looks like Clapham Junction.
00:52:07The only thing to do is to try and paint them out.
00:52:08Perhaps we could cover it with a mat.
00:52:10She'd be bound to notice.
00:52:11No, the only thing to do is to repaint the whole of the floor.
00:52:13How much do you think it'd take?
00:52:15At least two Threpanley Tins.
00:52:16There you are, Albert. Get ten gallons.
00:52:23Four patients waiting for you, Doctor.
00:52:25Not now, not now.
00:52:26Anything wrong, Doctor?
00:52:27Everything's wrong. Get me Harrogate 4091.
00:52:41What have you done?
00:52:42Sorry, I just put my Watson into yours.
00:52:44Oh, what do you want to paint all that for?
00:52:46Oh.
00:52:47Whoa.
00:52:47We're macaroon.
00:52:48Now, how are we going to get out?
00:52:49Oh, dear.
00:52:50We'll have to wait till it dries.
00:52:52It won't be dried for hours.
00:52:53Yes, we're all right.
00:52:54Look, it says here, fast colour.
00:52:55Oh, that doesn't mean it dries fast.
00:52:57That means it won't come off.
00:52:59I know.
00:53:00We'll get Albert to throw us a clothesline.
00:53:03We'll tie it to the leg of the chair.
00:53:04You and I'll sit on the chair,
00:53:06and we'll get Albert to drag us off.
00:53:08Hmm?
00:53:09But how about the marks we'll make?
00:53:10Oh, we'll paint those out as we go along.
00:53:13I'll ring for Albert.
00:53:16Oh, that's no good, you silly little man.
00:53:19Yeah.
00:53:19I'll hold you, and you ring the bell with this.
00:53:21How do you mean?
00:53:22I'll stretch out with it.
00:53:23Oh, push it with the leg.
00:53:24That's right.
00:53:25You catch hold of mine.
00:53:26Okay.
00:53:26Oh.
00:53:27Oh.
00:53:29Oh.
00:53:32That was a bright idea.
00:53:35Get back.
00:53:36Get back.
00:53:37Get back.
00:53:42Oh, get out of here.
00:53:44Shoo, go away.
00:53:45Oh, Dickey, look at our face.
00:53:47Blimey, what a mess.
00:53:49What do you want to let them out for?
00:53:51Well, I couldn't help it.
00:53:52I've got my hands full.
00:53:53Oh, well, I suppose it doesn't matter me walking on it now.
00:53:59Oh, dirty Towsa, get out.
00:54:01Hey, stop them, boys.
00:54:03Get out.
00:54:04Oh, they'll ruin everything.
00:54:05They'll ruin everything.
00:54:06Don't hear me breaking this next.
00:54:09Oh.
00:54:10Hey, stop them, somebody.
00:54:12Oh.
00:54:13Hey, stop them, somebody.
00:54:15Oh.
00:54:17Hey, stop them, somebody.
00:54:18Oh, don't let them go upstairs.
00:54:22Hey, stop the door! Get over!
00:54:30What's happening here? I can't get a week to sleep.
00:54:33What a lovely mess.
00:54:36And that's Matt, too.
00:54:38I'm going to be here when my daughter sees that.
00:54:42Take them back to the kitchen and fasten them up.
00:54:44This is all your fault? My fault? I like that.
00:54:47I suppose I smashed up the drawing room.
00:54:49What is that smashed up to? I must have a look at this.
00:54:54Better and better and better.
00:54:56Hey, what are we going to do about poor old Towsery's young old pipe balls?
00:54:59We'll have to try and wash it off. Yes, I'll help.
00:55:01You'll do nothing of the sort. You'll go down and finish your sleep.
00:55:04Well, come on, up in the bathroom.
00:55:06Oh, no, you don't. You've caused enough trouble already.
00:55:08Your job's downstairs or up on the roof.
00:55:10Yes, good. There was some fire spotting. That's what we feed you for.
00:55:12When it gets dark, it's the end of the blackout.
00:55:15Here.
00:55:15How about that fire spotting?
00:55:17Well, what about it?
00:55:17You don't want to do it, do you?
00:55:19No.
00:55:19And I don't want to go back to sleep.
00:55:20I'll swap you.
00:55:21You do my sleep, I'll do your fire spotting.
00:55:24I might get a bit of action up there.
00:55:25That's all right.
00:55:26All right, you come down.
00:55:27Yes.
00:55:28That way.
00:55:29Yes, sir.
00:55:36Doesn't seem to be coming off.
00:55:37Perhaps we're using the wrong soap.
00:55:39Put it off your trousers, all right.
00:55:41Wait a minute, what's this?
00:55:42Liquid shampoo.
00:55:44Says it's soapless.
00:55:45Well, what's the good of time that?
00:55:46Soapless, you fool.
00:55:48Oh.
00:55:59Is it coming off now?
00:56:02I think it's a bit better.
00:56:03It's fast colour, all right.
00:56:09Hello?
00:56:10You fool, it's the front door.
00:56:11Oh.
00:56:12Perhaps it's the fighting fireman again.
00:56:14So let the old man bring him in.
00:56:15Tell him I'm out.
00:56:16Okay.
00:56:26Hello, Zicky.
00:56:30Hey, wait for me!
00:56:40Oh, Arthur, how tall you've got.
00:56:42Where's Zicky?
00:56:42Oh, scrap!
00:56:49You can't stay here.
00:56:50You'll get me the sack.
00:56:51You should work for Lady Watch's Name when you've got a gold mine right here in the house.
00:56:54What are you talking about?
00:56:55The old man, the old man.
00:56:56Her lady, she's father.
00:56:57You mean, Paul?
00:56:58Damn.
00:56:59Sure, he's got dough to throw away.
00:57:01You know, that's something that's always worried me.
00:57:03Does he make him need dough because he needs dough?
00:57:04Or does he need dough because he likes eating dough?
00:57:07Don't get my hand.
00:57:09You're on your nation, but you're a silly talk.
00:57:10Get that there.
00:57:11Oh, what a lovely set of teeth.
00:57:13Look at all the fillings.
00:57:14My goodness.
00:57:17Oh, I've been scuttled.
00:57:18Oh, listen, fellas, please tear out.
00:57:21If the old man sees you, it'll be an awful row.
00:57:22That's what we want the old buzzer to do.
00:57:24See it.
00:57:24Sure.
00:57:25Then pick for us to give the show tonight in the Aldrich Tube Shelter.
00:57:28The Aldrich Tube Shelter?
00:57:30Yeah, and with 10,000 people there, you can see it with an audience.
00:57:32Hey, what are you doing?
00:57:34Any more to view Queen Anne's bedroom?
00:57:36Oh, Arthur, please wait, Dickie, do it.
00:57:38Do what?
00:57:39We're going to give the show tonight.
00:57:40Yes, and I've written a special copy to the...
00:57:43It's a good song.
00:57:44Half of everything is yours.
00:57:45The Flying Fortress is playing it now.
00:57:47My assistant will now pass among you with a copy.
00:57:49Take a listen to this.
00:57:54I think we can safely say we've had enough of this.
00:57:59Would you two ladies mind starting that again?
00:58:01Excuse me, there's three of us.
00:58:03Two and one is three.
00:58:04Are you standing in a hole?
00:58:06No.
00:58:07The noblest thing in all the world is friendship, good and true.
00:58:11I think that we can safely say we're really friends, we too.
00:58:16I'll have a shake, Dickie.
00:58:17Sing them, Mr. Albright.
00:58:18Oh, no, those are the actions.
00:58:20Whenever you've been in the soup, my helping hand was near.
00:58:24I've stuck to you through thick and thin, and likewise thick and clear.
00:58:29I'd share my last penny with you.
00:58:33I'd put my last barbting in two.
00:58:35We'll go fifty-fifty on all I've got.
00:58:39Half of everything is yours.
00:58:41I'd give you one leg of my con for the tails of my incendiary bond.
00:58:48We'll go fifty-fifty on all the lot.
00:58:52Half of everything is yours.
00:58:55I'm not cold, big-hearted for nothing.
00:58:58I know your generosity is large.
00:59:01If you give me your quarter pound of butter,
00:59:04I'll let you have my four ounces of mud.
00:59:08I guess, master you, I'll be queen.
00:59:11I make sure who annoys when I breathe.
00:59:14We'll go fifty-fifty on all we've got.
00:59:18Half of everything is yours.
00:59:21Half of everything is yours.
00:59:24I'd share my investments or bets.
00:59:27My taxes, my rates or my debts.
00:59:30We'll go fifty-fifty on all the lot.
00:59:33But at all the lot of everything is yours.
00:59:36My money box to you I'd give.
00:59:39And the knife I'd get pennies out with.
00:59:43We'll go fifty-fifty on all I've got.
00:59:47Half of everything is yours.
00:59:49I'll give you the whole of my income.
00:59:52Oh, ta.
00:59:53Except, of course, the ten bob in the pound.
00:59:56And you can have my guard there, a shelter.
00:59:59There's rats in there, but they've all been drowned.
01:00:03To me or the half of my life.
01:00:06I'd least have led you half of my wife.
01:00:09I don't know exactly what she has got.
01:00:12But half of what there is is yours.
01:00:16Half of everything is yours.
01:00:18Half of all the Lord.
01:00:26THE END
01:01:09THE END
01:01:26THE END
01:01:31THE END
01:01:34intend to stay, but always seems very interesting. How do you do? How do you do? Hey, gang, we've
01:01:41got company. Come in, sit down. Bobby, bring him a sit-down. Girls, bring the brother-in-law
01:01:44some drinks. Come inside. Make like you're one of the family. Why do you care? Oh, hey.
01:01:55Who are you? That's Mr. Brother-in-law. Oh, welcome to our police. I'm so happy to see
01:02:00you. Here, let me have your coat. I didn't know you had a brother-in-law, Ben. My brother
01:02:04in law, nothing. He's Lady Randall's brother-in-law. Oh, I see. What? Sure, he's in charge of
01:02:08all her businesses. Placement, please. I always thought brothers-in-law was policemen. Yes,
01:02:18I told him how you rented the place from Lady Sister-in-law. Chickens. Yes, it was rather
01:02:23a surprise. Yes, it was rather a surprise to us. A drink? Good, thank you. Then what is
01:02:27this? A fancy dress? Oh, we're rehearsing. Yes, it's a show we're hoping to put on. If
01:02:33we can get anybody interested. Oh, surely there should be no difficulty about that. It's
01:02:37such a galaxy of beauty. Oh, Charlie. Would you like to see the show right through? Well,
01:02:49I do know that I should have time to see it all. We'll only show you the good bits. Yes,
01:02:53that won't take long. Bullseye. Simmons. Saddle. All right, don't strain yourself. I'll do it. I don't
01:02:59like her. She's too fat. Yeah, I don't know why I put on so much weight in England. I come
01:03:04from Wales. Oh, from Wales. What did she say? Comes from Wales. Well, you can see
01:03:22the first one to say hello to the sun. I stretch out my arms. I try out my legs. I
01:03:38tackle the
01:03:38coffee, the bacon and eggs. I'm way ahead of everyone. The first one to say hello to the sun.
01:03:47It's too, too good to be true. To do as I feel. To feel as I do. And when I'm
01:03:56up with the
01:03:57dog, everything's right. Nothing is wrong. Up with a nod. Happy that way. Out and about.
01:04:05Happy to say, friends with all the talents of love. Happy to say, hello to the sun.
01:04:22Say, what is this? Old home week. More trouble with the staff. Oh, excuse me. Jeeves,
01:04:27would you get another soften of cider water, please? Oh, who goes there? Friend or foe?
01:04:36Foe. You mustn't say that or I'll have to shoot you. Why? Because I hate women. So do I,
01:04:42but I love treacle pudding. Huh? With black treacle or with golden syrup? I like it with jam.
01:04:47Oh, that's all right then. Fast, though. Oh, jam. Anything else you like? I like my bread
01:04:53buttered on both sides. Oh, it's a bit expensive, ain't it? No, because when I drop my bread and
01:04:57butter, I drop it buttered side down. So if I butter it both sides, there's one buttered side
01:05:00you can't drop down on. Hmm. Oh, Johnny, teach me to dance. Oh, Johnny, come take a chance.
01:05:11Because there's lots of things that I could do if I could get my other options. Oh, Johnny,
01:05:19boy, be a pal. Cause here is a nice little gal. Who knows where she is at? And rather more
01:05:27than
01:05:28that. Oh, Johnny, teach me to dance. Oh, Johnny, teach me to dance. Oh, Johnny, do take a chance.
01:06:00Well, how did you like it? I, you were very good soon, little Izzy. Good. Say, for a thousand
01:06:07balls you can have a third share in the show yes and for two thousand pounds we'll put you on
01:06:11the
01:06:11free lane i don't want a third but i tell you what i'll give us fifteen hundred for the whole
01:06:17show
01:06:17it's a deal where's your checkbook
01:06:23no no not you you
01:06:35pen somebody pen the plume of somebody's tom never mind filling it in just silent we'll do the rest
01:06:40whoa you get blots on the ceiling
01:06:44here wait a minute stick your nose in there that better still miss this oh here
01:06:54can you read the top line from here
01:06:58this is a long way away anybody got a magnifying glass oh
01:07:08put your hand here there you are is that any nearer yes yes
01:07:15no nice blood blood that's not a block that's a goldfish
01:07:22there it is
01:07:26funny i can't write my own name oh here give me your hand i'll guard it now what sort of
01:07:32a signature
01:07:32have you got oh very lovely one he's asleep not for long
01:07:41oh he's cackle high can't we give him something to pull him round i'll make some strong black coffee
01:07:47here dicky dicky wait a minute hey listen not too strong we don't want him too sober
01:08:06good evening
01:08:07good evening my lady this is moses i hope you had a pleasant journey i want a word with you
01:08:11yes would you care to step in the study the children's all blacked up i mean it's not blacked
01:08:15i'll stop my lady if you care to step in there i've had a very disconcerting telephone call from dr
01:08:20folks very very lady i hope there's no real where is your wife send her to me at the place
01:08:24the wife yes lady oh that's uh that's the wireless
01:08:38welcome home milady i bought you some elevens in no i'll go and switch the wireless off i understand
01:08:45this is likely you have not been obeying dr pope's instructions uh by the way where is my father he's
01:08:50in bed oh no he's just leaving it off i mean he's uh come on hey quiet everybody quiet quiet
01:08:58for
01:08:58heaven's sake you've all got to clear out of here lady randall's back i knew it was too good to
01:09:02laugh
01:09:04i assure you my lady nothing has been happening in this house that anyone could disapprove of
01:09:17i don't like it it's very fashionable we copied it from vogue you wicked woman you wicked wicked woman
01:09:26my cup and the stairs oh and the mirror yes that was a bit of bad luck bad luck seven
01:09:34years bad luck
01:09:41you're right you're right who are these people this is miss farrell and mr forsyth and mr potter you know
01:09:50henry there you are man come and join us you are drunk
01:09:53lady randt had to speak the floor
01:09:56hey for this i promise you well it wasn't us the lady but um it was the fireman the fireman
01:10:02yes he was
01:10:03looking for an incendiary bomb with an axe but heaven's not a fire tool no no no not here uh
01:10:07next
01:10:07door yes we told the fireman he wasn't here but he wouldn't believe us
01:10:12that's her no that's her
01:10:13no i miss you put it on i've got a complaint
01:10:16all right
01:10:18ah bill bill what have i done to you
01:10:22it's all your fault you little i'll scratch your eyes out
01:10:26it's all your fault you don't touch me
01:10:26i'll scalp you
01:10:39hello
01:10:44police police police
01:10:46well that's service for you
01:10:50Arrest those men.
01:10:51Arrest everybody.
01:10:52All right, we're going to that in a moment.
01:10:53We'll come to investigate a madman firing a gun in your room.
01:10:55Huh?
01:10:55On our roof?
01:10:56Impossible.
01:10:57Well, there he goes again.
01:10:59He's where I...
01:11:01Help him!
01:11:02I missed him.
01:11:03Oh, must be going to be on a cloud.
01:11:06Bill!
01:11:07Oh, Bill!
01:11:12Bill!
01:11:14Ah!
01:11:15Ah!
01:11:24There he goes!
01:11:27Hey, what do you think you're doing?
01:11:28He's a zeppelin, zeppelin!
01:11:29Zeppelin?
01:11:30I can only get me too thin.
01:11:31He might be...
01:11:31That's a bad-ass balloon.
01:11:32Come on, you.
01:11:33Oh, I think he's got this out of my hand.
01:11:37All right, Steve.
01:11:38I wish he'd probably had my snatch.
01:11:39He's bent over there.
01:11:41Don't run it after me.
01:11:43He's catching me.
01:11:44He's catching me.
01:11:45He's catching me.
01:11:46All right, I'll go quiet.
01:11:47You've passed it.
01:11:48Pass what?
01:11:49The shelter.
01:11:49We're all ready for the concert.
01:11:51Hey, boys, girls, Beatles, come back!
01:11:53Come on!
01:11:59That was very nice of you, Oscar.
01:12:01After all, there were only blanks in the garden.
01:12:03Oh, no, they weren't.
01:12:04Shut up!
01:12:06What's the trouble here?
01:12:07Someone phone for us.
01:12:08The people in that room, arrest them all.
01:12:09Come this way.
01:12:12Oh, good!
01:12:14Good!
01:12:15Any idea where to?
01:12:16I know where they've gone!
01:12:17You do?
01:12:18I should have gone with them.
01:12:20In fact, they can't start the concert without me.
01:12:23Concert?
01:12:23Yeah, and the all-good soup shelter.
01:12:25I know everything.
01:12:26Do that!
01:12:29Oh!
01:12:30Wait a minute!
01:12:30Men and women of this community, you and I are one big family.
01:12:41Men and women, there's one thing we should do.
01:12:46Till and now, I put it up to you.
01:12:51Let's get old, Hitler.
01:12:53Let's get old, Hitler.
01:12:54Let's get old, Hitler.
01:12:54Let's get old, Hitler.
01:12:54Swing him up on high.
01:12:56Anyone in favor?
01:12:59Aye, aye, aye.
01:13:01He thinks we can do it.
01:13:03Oh, what a blink and lie.
01:13:06Everyone in favor?
01:13:08Aye, aye, aye.
01:13:10We'll all feel brighter
01:13:12How the sun will shine
01:13:14When we finish winding up his wash of the bright sun
01:13:20Let's get old, Hitler.
01:13:23Swing him up on high.
01:13:25How high shall we hang him?
01:13:28High, high, high.
01:13:30Let's get old, Hitler.
01:13:31Darling, what a crown.
01:13:34This is the best house we've ever had.
01:13:37Aye, aye, aye.
01:13:39Can you see what I see?
01:13:41Well, it's so nice.
01:13:44Pass it on to all the
01:13:45Aye, aye, aye.
01:13:48It looks like her
01:13:50That's beating down the line
01:13:52Before she started winding up
01:13:55I was young to lie
01:13:57Oh, we had to run and suck
01:13:59In the middle
01:14:01How I shall be hang him
01:14:04High, high, high.
01:14:14Ladies and gentlemen,
01:14:15I have a terrific surprise for you.
01:14:18In the audience tonight is none other than Lady Randall,
01:14:22better known to you all as the famous Lily Bennett,
01:14:25the darling of the gallery,
01:14:26the toast of the storm.
01:14:27Ah, so that's the game, is it?
01:14:30Well, it won't work.
01:14:31Waiting at the church.
01:14:32Waiting at the church.
01:14:35Listen, playmates,
01:14:36you all know that tune,
01:14:38Lily Bennett's most famous song,
01:14:40There was I.
01:14:41Waiting at the church.
01:14:43Waiting at the church.
01:14:44Well, if you cheer, loud it up.
01:14:46I'm sure she'll sing it for you.
01:14:49Oh, wait, wait, wait.
01:14:55Wait, wait, please.
01:15:13I'm in a nice bit of trouble, I confess.
01:15:16Somebody with me has had a gain
01:15:19I should by now be a proud and happy bride
01:15:23But I've still got to keep me single night
01:15:27I was proposed to buy old P. Diabin
01:15:30In a very gentle manly way
01:15:33Lent him all my money so that he could buy the home
01:15:37And punctually at twelve o'clock today
01:15:42There was I waiting at the church
01:15:45Waiting at the church, waiting at the church
01:15:49When I found it left in the lot
01:15:52Lord, how is it upset me?
01:15:56All at once he sent me round a note
01:15:59Here's the very note, this is what he wrote
01:16:03Come get away, I'll marry you today
01:16:07My wife won't upset me
01:16:10There was I waiting at the church
01:16:14Waiting at the church, waiting at the church
01:16:17When I found it, this is what he wrote
01:16:20Lord, how is it upset me?
01:16:24Blimey, all at once he sent me round a note
01:16:28Here's the very note, this is what he wrote
01:16:31Come get away, I'll marry you today
01:16:35My wife will show you today
01:16:38Come get away
01:16:46Hey Edie, Madre!
01:16:47Oh!
01:16:48Edie Madre!
01:16:48Edie!
01:16:48Edie Madre!
01:17:03Edie Madre!
01:17:05I'm ready to change my hope to the sun, I'll spread out my arms, I'll dry out my head,
01:17:11I'll handle the quality of the day to the day, I'll lay away all day to the night,
01:17:18I'll look at the change, I'll look at the sun, it's true, too, good to be true,
01:17:25to do as I feel, to deal as I do, I'm not too long, I'm happy that way,
01:17:31I'm out in a bunch, I'm happy to stay, I'm brave with all that years of man,
01:17:39that happy will change, and all through the sun.