When uneducated street sweepers Stan (Stan Laurel) and Ollie (Oliver Hardy) inadvertently catch a bank robber, the bank rewards the pair by paying for their education at England's prestigious Oxford University. After getting pranked by a group of roguish students, the dimwitted Stan is recognized by Meredith the valet (Forrester Harvey) as refined Oxford undergraduate Lord Paddington, who went missing after a blow to the head left him with amnesia.
#B&W #comedy #family
#B&W #comedy #family
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FunTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:02:08You'll have to get out here, fellas.
00:02:11Thanks for the lift.
00:02:39How about a lift, mister?
00:02:41Sure.
00:02:41Jump on the back.
00:02:42Come on.
00:02:46Are you all left?
00:02:48Okay, let her go.
00:02:59What's the big idea?
00:03:01Oh, what's the matter?
00:03:02Can't you take it, Joe?
00:03:04Jump back on.
00:03:05I was only kidding.
00:03:06Well, it's a good thing you're apologized.
00:03:11You sure did told him off, didn't I?
00:03:13Yeah.
00:03:35This is it, fellas.
00:03:39Thank you very much.
00:04:04What happened?
00:04:06Good morning.
00:04:08Good morning.
00:04:09What can I do for you?
00:04:10Why, we'd like a job, please.
00:04:11What kind of employment do you prefer?
00:04:13Oh, anything you've got, missus.
00:04:15You see, we're down to our last six bucks.
00:04:17Aren't we, Ollie?
00:04:18Yeah.
00:04:20Well, kindly be seated.
00:04:22I'll talk to you in a little while.
00:04:23Thank you, miss.
00:04:24Hello.
00:04:27Yes, this is Sterling Incarnate Agency.
00:04:32Who?
00:04:35Yes.
00:04:38Oh, yes, I understand.
00:04:40Oh, good morning, Mrs. Vanderveer.
00:04:42I'm in a terrible predicament.
00:04:44I'm giving a party tonight.
00:04:45My maiden butler has left me without notice.
00:04:48Could you send me over a couple to replace them?
00:04:50Oh, I'm sorry.
00:04:51I haven't any on the list, but I'll see what I can do for you.
00:04:53Do you wish a single or married couple?
00:04:55I prefer a married couple.
00:04:57All right, Mrs. Vanderveer.
00:04:58I'll do my best to find you a maiden butler.
00:05:00Goodbye.
00:05:03Too bad you wasn't a woman.
00:05:04That'd be a swell job for us.
00:05:22Pardon me, madam, but did I understand you to say that you were looking for a maid and a butler?
00:05:26Yes.
00:05:26Do you know of anyone?
00:05:27I know a couple that will just fill the bill.
00:05:30You do?
00:05:30Are they available?
00:05:31I could get them for you right away, if not sooner.
00:05:33Well, I'd appreciate it very much if you'd have them go to this address immediately.
00:05:36Yes, ma'am.
00:05:37Thank you very much.
00:05:39Come, Stanley.
00:05:43Goodbye.
00:05:44Goodbye.
00:05:48Goodbye.
00:05:50What's the idea?
00:05:51We don't know any couple.
00:05:53Do I?
00:05:54You don't.
00:05:55But I do.
00:05:57Is that so?
00:06:01Ah, very nice, my dear.
00:06:05It's wonderful what you can do when you have to.
00:06:07Thank you, Baldi.
00:06:08You're such a dear.
00:06:10Oh, what's the latest on the maid and butler situation?
00:06:13I haven't heard a thing, and I'm terribly worried.
00:06:16Oh, don't you worry a bit.
00:06:18If the worst comes to the worst, you can serve a buffet.
00:06:22Oh, excuse me.
00:06:36Are you the head butler?
00:06:38I am Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:06:41Oh, well, we are from the employment agency.
00:06:45Oh, yes.
00:06:51We are the best they could do at the last moment.
00:06:55So I can see.
00:06:58Well, come right in.
00:06:59Come, dear.
00:07:05This way.
00:07:09Oh, darling.
00:07:10This is the new maiden butler.
00:07:13Mrs. Vanderbilt.
00:07:14How do you do, ma'am?
00:07:31What a strange-looking person.
00:07:34Well, what do you expect on a few hours' notice?
00:07:36If you'd have gone to the trouble we did to get us a job...
00:07:39What he means, I mean she means, is that this is the best they could do upon such short notice.
00:07:44Oh, never mind, dear.
00:07:46Any old port in a storm, you know.
00:07:48I suppose you're right.
00:07:49Call Pierre.
00:07:53What's your name?
00:07:54My name is Ali.
00:07:56And this is Agnes.
00:08:06A slight accident.
00:08:08Did you ring, madame?
00:08:10Yes, Pierre.
00:08:11This is the new maiden butler.
00:08:14Show them to their quarters and explain their duties.
00:08:17Yes, madame.
00:08:18Come, dear.
00:08:23This way.
00:08:34Well, well, well.
00:08:49No, thank you.
00:08:59No, thank you.
00:09:01They're good.
00:09:06No, thank you.
00:09:24No, thank you.
00:09:49There's everything from soup to nuts, folks.
00:09:52Come and get it.
00:10:02What do I do now?
00:10:05You can take these cocktails.
00:10:08What, all of them?
00:10:09Certainly.
00:10:10See if you can do that without spilling them.
00:10:28Okay, boys, sit down.
00:10:38Now, don't nobody eat till Miss Vandy there gets here.
00:10:41She went to change her dress.
00:10:48Well, kid, how does she look?
00:10:56Well, folks, the joke's on me.
00:10:58I've got you all seated wrong.
00:10:59The old guy wants you all mixed up.
00:11:02I'll fix it.
00:11:02Just say, you.
00:11:04Me?
00:11:04You come over here, yes.
00:11:06And bring your eats with you.
00:11:07And you go over there and take your eats with you.
00:11:09That's right.
00:11:10Now, that's all right.
00:11:11Now, don't get excited.
00:11:12I'll have it all fixed.
00:11:13And you go over there.
00:11:14Take your eats with you now.
00:11:16And you go over there and take your food with you.
00:11:18That's it.
00:11:18And you go over there and take your food with you.
00:11:20And you come over here.
00:11:21And you come over here.
00:11:22And you go over there.
00:11:24Will you keep quiet just a moment, please?
00:11:26And quit interrupting.
00:11:27And you come over here and bring your eats with you.
00:11:29That's it.
00:11:30No, no, no, no, no.
00:11:31Don't sit there.
00:11:32Over here.
00:11:32Bring your eats with you.
00:11:34Don't get them mixed up.
00:11:35And you go over there.
00:11:36I'm going to take one.
00:11:36Now, Jenny, you better go sit down.
00:11:38You come right here and sit down.
00:11:40Right there.
00:11:42Now, your hand away.
00:11:43No, no, no, don't sit there.
00:11:44Now, you go over there and take your eats with you, and you go over there.
00:11:46That's right.
00:11:47Come on, move fast, folks.
00:11:48And you...
00:11:49Now, just take it easy, old boy.
00:11:50We'll have everything all fixed.
00:11:52And...
00:11:52Oh, no, no, no.
00:11:53Get over there, please.
00:11:54And you come over here.
00:11:56Don't you sit...
00:11:57No, no, don't sit there, please.
00:11:59Now, one of you boys go right over there.
00:12:00And you come right here.
00:12:02No, no, no, you must get...
00:12:03You're listening right here.
00:12:04That's right.
00:12:05Now, if you'll just get...
00:12:06That's it.
00:12:06Just go right around there and get your seat.
00:12:08And get your boot.
00:12:09You got...
00:12:10That's...
00:12:10Now, sit down, will you, Pop?
00:12:13Pop!
00:12:14And if you'll go right up there, right there and sit right there.
00:12:17That's it.
00:12:17No, no, no, no, no, no, please.
00:12:19Over on this side.
00:12:20Now, you sit right over there.
00:12:22That's right.
00:12:22Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:12:23No, over here, please.
00:12:24And if you'll sit right there, that's right.
00:12:26No, no, no, not you.
00:12:27The other one.
00:12:28That's right.
00:12:28Now, you sit right there.
00:12:29And you go over there, please.
00:12:31And then you sit right there.
00:12:32I'll have just a moment now.
00:12:33And you sit right there.
00:12:35And you right here, little lady.
00:12:36That's right.
00:12:37Now, if you'll come...
00:12:41Stop!
00:12:42Everyone, sit down right where you are.
00:12:50Agnes, will you please serve this salad without any dressing?
00:13:01What kind of a joint is this?
00:13:03What's the matter?
00:13:05He wants me to serve the salad undressed.
00:13:08Well, if he wants the salad undressed, that's the way he'll have it.
00:13:11Go get the salad.
00:13:42Go get the salad.
00:13:56Go get the salad.
00:13:59Go get the salad.
00:14:10Go get the salad.
00:14:21yeah
00:14:23I
00:14:23yeah
00:14:24yeah
00:14:25yeah
00:14:28yeah
00:14:28yeah
00:14:35yeah
00:14:36yeah
00:14:37yeah
00:14:47I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I told you. I'm sorry, I told you. I didn't have my glasses on.
00:14:52Why don't you be careful? You almost blew my brains out.
00:15:26Why don't you be careful?
00:15:43Why don't you be careful?
00:16:37Why don't you be careful?
00:17:07Why don't you be careful?
00:17:16Well, here we are at last. Right down in the gutter.
00:17:20I wonder what's the matter with us. We're just as good as other people, yet we don't seem to advance
00:17:25ourselves. We never get any place.
00:17:28You know what the trouble is, don't you? We've never had no education. That's what's the matter. You see, we're
00:17:35not illiterate enough.
00:17:36I guess you're right.
00:17:38Sure I'm right. You see, if we went to school like other people, we would learn our three R's, and
00:17:44today there'd be no job too small for us. Believe me.
00:17:48What do you mean, three R's? Well, reading, writing, and... and figuring.
00:17:56Figuring?
00:17:57Sure. You know, two and two make something, and four and four make something. It's different to the first...
00:18:04You mean arithmetic.
00:18:06Yeah, I knew what it meant, but I couldn't say it.
00:18:09Say, I think you've got something there.
00:18:11Have I?
00:18:11Yeah. After we finish work today, we'll start going to night school.
00:18:15That's a good idea. Too bad we didn't think of that before.
00:18:19Oh, yeah.
00:18:28Thanks.
00:18:32Thanks.
00:18:51Come on.
00:19:24Don't throw that on the sidewalk.
00:19:26We're going to clean it up anyway.
00:20:02I want to thank you, officers, for your quick action.
00:20:04Don't thank us.
00:20:06Those are the boys that made the capture.
00:20:11My boys, you've done a service for me that I can never forget.
00:20:15You've saved me hundreds of thousands of dollars.
00:20:17What can I do to repay you?
00:20:19I don't know, sir.
00:20:20Maybe I can give you some work to do in the bank.
00:20:22Well, that's very kind of you, sir, but I'm afraid we wouldn't be of much help to you.
00:20:25You see, we haven't got any education, have we, Stanley?
00:20:29No, we don't know a thing, do we?
00:20:31That's right.
00:20:32In fact, we were just talking of going to night school.
00:20:35I see.
00:20:36Diamonds in the rubble.
00:20:38And all you need is a little polish with the proper setting.
00:20:41If it's an education you want, you shall have the finest that money can buy.
00:20:46What do you think?
00:20:48What do you think?
00:20:50Well, it'll save us the trouble of going to night school.
00:20:52It's a go.
00:21:50What do you think?
00:21:55Do you see what I see?
00:21:57What is it?
00:22:08I think they're entitled to the royal initiation, don't you?
00:22:11By all means.
00:22:13Now listen, you round up the boys, we all have a lot of fun.
00:22:17I'll start them off in the maze.
00:22:20So, this is Oxford.
00:22:22Yes, sir, I think we're going to like it here.
00:22:24Pardon me, but haven't you come to the wrong college?
00:22:27Well, this is Oxford, isn't it?
00:22:28Yes, but you're dressed for eating.
00:22:31Well, that's swell.
00:22:31We haven't eaten since breakfast, haven't we?
00:22:33Haven't eaten since breakfast.
00:22:35It's your idea of us being dressed like this.
00:22:37No wonder everyone's staring at us.
00:22:39Well, gentlemen, if I can be of any help to you at all, I'm entirely at your service.
00:22:43No, thank you very much.
00:22:44I wonder if you could tell us where to find the head teacher.
00:22:47Oh, you mean the dean.
00:22:48Why, it'd be a pleasure to escort you there myself.
00:22:51Oh, by the way, have you a pass?
00:22:54A pass?
00:22:55Yes, you must have a pass to see the dean.
00:22:57Well, where do we get it?
00:22:58From the pass, professor.
00:23:00Well, where do we find it?
00:23:01Well, now, you see that entrance to the hedge over there?
00:23:04Yeah.
00:23:05Well, now, when you enter there, you go to the right, then to the left, then to the right
00:23:09again, and then to the right again.
00:23:11Then, after you've been to the right, you keep going right until you come to the left
00:23:15turn again.
00:23:16Then, you go right again until you find yourself left on the right side.
00:23:20Huh.
00:23:21Oh, I know it sounds a bit complicated, but if you keep to the right, you simply can't
00:23:24go wrong.
00:23:25Oh, thank you.
00:23:26Now then, when you come to the exit on the other side of the hedge, you'll see a sign with
00:23:31a hand pointing to the professor's lodge.
00:23:33Is that to the right or to the left?
00:23:35My dear old thing, it makes no difference.
00:23:38Now, let me get this straight.
00:23:40We go to the left when we're after the...
00:23:42I have the direction, Stanley.
00:23:44Clearly in my mind.
00:23:46Thank you very much.
00:23:49Goodbye.
00:23:50Cheerio.
00:23:50I'll be waiting for you.
00:23:51Goodbye.
00:23:52Goodbye.
00:23:53Goodbye.
00:23:56Goodbye.
00:23:57Well, cheerio.
00:23:58Toodaloo.
00:24:07Gee, he sure is a swell guy, isn't he?
00:24:09He certainly is.
00:24:10I knew it the minute I set eyes on it.
00:24:12Dead?
00:24:13Yeah.
00:24:13That's one thing I pride myself on, is reading character.
00:24:17Is that so?
00:24:17Yeah.
00:24:20Yeah.
00:24:21Yeah.
00:24:23Yeah.
00:24:26Yeah.
00:24:27Yeah.
00:24:27Yeah.
00:24:28Yeah.
00:24:30Yeah.
00:24:37No, no, no.
00:24:38To your left.
00:24:41Now to your right.
00:24:49Left.
00:25:01Now to the right.
00:25:07Wait a minute.
00:25:09All we're doing is going around in cycles.
00:25:16You know what?
00:25:17What?
00:25:18I think we must have taken the wrong turning.
00:25:21What do you mean, the wrong turning?
00:25:23Well, maybe we went to the left instead of to the right.
00:25:26Remember the fellow said, first you turn to the right.
00:25:29All right.
00:25:29All right.
00:25:30Now you go to the left and I'll go to the right.
00:25:33And whoever finds the exit first comes back and gets the other one.
00:25:37That's a good idea.
00:25:38Now we're getting someplace.
00:25:44Say, what are we going to do about the trunk?
00:25:46Think we'd better leave it here?
00:25:47Why, certainly not.
00:25:48We may never be able to find it again.
00:25:50Well, I can't carry it.
00:25:52It's too heavy.
00:25:53All right.
00:25:54I suppose it's up to me as usual.
00:25:56Well, I'm not as big as you are.
00:25:57Get it on my back.
00:25:58Well, I'll do all I can to help you.
00:26:03All right.
00:26:04Slide it up.
00:26:08Take it easy.
00:26:10Got it all right?
00:26:11It'll be all right as soon as I get a grip on it.
00:26:14You want a grip on it?
00:26:15Yeah.
00:26:22There we are now.
00:26:23Now help me up.
00:26:24Now, up to Daisy.
00:26:26Hurry.
00:26:29There we are.
00:26:35All right.
00:26:37Now, don't forget to holler.
00:26:38I won't.
00:26:40Bye.
00:26:41Goodbye.
00:26:42You all right, ma'am?
00:26:43Yes.
00:26:44Goodbye.
00:26:45Goodbye.
00:26:46Goodbye.
00:26:49Bye-bye.
00:26:50Bye-bye.
00:26:58Bye-bye.
00:27:01Bye-bye.
00:27:09Bye-bye.
00:27:29Oh, Wally.
00:27:30Where are you?
00:27:31I'm here.
00:27:32Where are you?
00:27:33I'm here.
00:27:34How can you be here if I'm here?
00:27:36Well, Stan, I'm exactly where you...
00:27:38Will you come and find me?
00:27:39Well, I will as soon as I can find myself.
00:27:42What do you think I am?
00:27:43Can't be in two places at once.
00:27:45Wait.
00:27:48Here we are.
00:27:49Will you show me the exit?
00:27:50Here it is.
00:27:51Oh, swell.
00:27:52Now get me out of here.
00:27:53All right.
00:27:53You follow me.
00:27:54We'll take the shortcut.
00:27:55All right.
00:27:56Right this way.
00:27:57All right.
00:27:57Now, don't lose me.
00:27:58I won't.
00:28:17Hey, just a minute.
00:28:20What did you do with the suitcases?
00:28:22I put them on top of the trunk.
00:28:25If I've been carrying these all the time, get this off of my back.
00:28:35Let's rest a while.
00:28:37I'm tired.
00:28:38I am too.
00:28:39Oh, my God.
00:29:33Give me my handkerchief.
00:29:58Thank you, Ollie.
00:29:59Give me my handkerchief.
00:30:04Will you leave that alone?
00:30:06I thought you just gave it to me.
00:30:29Now, cut that out.
00:30:42I thought you just gave it to me.
00:31:08I thought you just gave it to me.
00:31:37Now, what's the matter now?
00:31:39I just saw three hands.
00:31:41Now, sit down.
00:31:42You're crazy.
00:31:43You've been going around in cycles all day and you're dizzy.
00:31:46Is that what it is?
00:31:47Why, sadly, you just had a dizzy spell.
00:31:50Now, let me get some rest, will you?
00:31:58Never had one of those before.
00:32:13Now, let me get some rest.
00:32:36I don't know.
00:33:09Hey, Ollie, I don't want to bother you, but I just had another one of those dizzy spells.
00:33:16No wonder.
00:33:18Smoking those big black cigars, they're too strong for you.
00:33:21Tell what it...
00:33:21Certainly.
00:33:30I don't know.
00:33:33I don't know.
00:34:05Did you see that?
00:34:07Sure.
00:34:07Oh, it's one of those dizzy spells again.
00:34:09That wasn't no dizzy spell.
00:34:11Go see what it was.
00:34:13I don't want to see what it was.
00:34:14Go see what it was and don't argue.
00:34:16Hurry up.
00:34:17I'll wait right here for you.
00:34:43No, nobody there.
00:34:45Just one of those dizzy spells again.
00:34:47Hey, even you look different.
00:34:49Stand.
00:34:50Oh, stand.
00:34:51What?
00:34:52Come on.
00:34:53Okay, I'll...
00:34:59Don't leave me, Ollie.
00:35:00Give me your hand.
00:35:01Baby, ah!
00:35:05Ah!
00:35:08Oh, my God!
00:35:13Ah!
00:35:16Ah!
00:35:19Ah!
00:35:22Ah!
00:35:24Ah!
00:35:25Ah!
00:35:25Ah!
00:35:26Ah!
00:35:27Ah!
00:35:28Ah!
00:35:30Well, can you beat that?
00:35:32Welcome to Oxford.
00:35:39You know what?
00:35:40What?
00:35:41I think that fellow that sent us in here made a fool out of you.
00:35:45Yes, and if I ever see him again, I'll punch him right in the nose.
00:35:48I don't blame you.
00:35:50Say, I thought you said you could read character.
00:35:53I can, but he was two-faced.
00:35:56Oh.
00:35:56You know, I'll never trust anybody again as long as I live.
00:36:00That's a good idea.
00:36:02Bring them across to Johnson's quarters.
00:36:04The boys have everything arranged.
00:36:05Righto.
00:36:08Well, how do I look?
00:36:10Marvelous.
00:36:11Much better than the old Dean himself.
00:36:13Do you think he'll ever recognize me with this?
00:36:15Never in a month of Sundays.
00:36:17Hurry, fellas.
00:36:18Here comes Cecil with the chumps.
00:36:20Oh, uh-oh.
00:36:21Here, bring him in a quick voice.
00:36:22Can I have a name?
00:36:22Here we are.
00:36:29This way, please.
00:36:35Dean, may I present the two new boys from America?
00:36:38This is Dr. Ramsbottom, the Dean of our University.
00:36:43Pleased to meet you, Mr. Dean.
00:36:44Charmed, I'm sure.
00:36:47And meet Professor Pushhaveney, Dr. Pigsfoot, and his brother, Trotter.
00:36:55Well, dear old things, heartiest congratulations on all that sort of thing on your entrance into dear old Oxford.
00:37:02I hope that our association will be a happy union, and we wish to show our hospitality true to the
00:37:09traditions of our college by giving you a most hearty and a royal greeting.
00:37:15Charry-o, I don't think.
00:37:17Thank you very much.
00:37:18Now, is everything in readiness to escort these gentlemen to their quarters?
00:37:23Everything.
00:37:24Then, carry on.
00:37:27For he's a jolly good fellow, he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, and so they
00:37:35all love us.
00:37:36I shall be quite some time at the lecture, Jenkins.
00:37:38You may take the afternoon off.
00:37:40Thank you, sir.
00:37:41Goodbye, sir.
00:37:43For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, and so
00:37:59they all love us.
00:38:00And so they all love us, and so they all love us.
00:38:04For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, and so
00:38:11they all love us.
00:38:14Well, gentlemen, these are your quarters.
00:38:17Now, don't be afraid to make yourselves at home.
00:38:19Now, ta-ta, skip the guppa.
00:38:21And good luck, we don't think.
00:38:29Say, that Dean's a swell guy, ain't he?
00:38:31Now, there's a man that you can trust.
00:38:33He sure is.
00:38:35Gee, this is a swell joint, I don't think.
00:38:38It's a pit.
00:38:39Lovely.
00:38:40No wonder people go to school.
00:38:42Nice place to live in like this.
00:38:45No flies and nothing.
00:38:47I wonder how long this place has been open.
00:38:50I wonder.
00:38:52You'd take me with advertisers, College, and let people know that it was on the map.
00:38:56Say, do you know what?
00:38:57What?
00:38:58We didn't have any sleep last night.
00:39:01That's right.
00:39:02In this excitement, I completely forgot it.
00:39:04I'll tell you what let's do.
00:39:05Let's unpack the trunk and make ourselves at home.
00:39:08That's a good idea.
00:39:09Yeah.
00:39:32Boy, is this the life.
00:39:35These English colleges suddenly give you the wakes.
00:39:37Don't they, though?
00:39:38You should see what they've done to the Dean's bedroom.
00:39:41Fix me another snort.
00:39:43Hey, fellows, Katie.
00:39:46Here comes the Dean.
00:39:47The Dean?
00:39:49No, no, no.
00:39:50He can't get out here.
00:39:51He's coming down the hall.
00:39:52What should he do?
00:40:07Did you hear that?
00:40:08Sure.
00:40:09What is it?
00:40:10I don't know.
00:40:11Go see.
00:40:14Go see.
00:40:15Go see.
00:40:36Nobody there.
00:40:37It couldn't have been somebody.
00:40:39How about 40 winks?
00:40:40That's a good idea.
00:40:50Say, Ollie.
00:40:51What now?
00:40:53How about a nightcap?
00:40:55Well, just one.
00:40:59There's no fish water.
00:41:01Well, get some.
00:41:46There's no more nightcap.
00:41:49Well, now, what would you do in a case like that?
00:42:00Go and get some.
00:42:02Sightly.
00:42:03Sample.
00:42:04I don't think
00:42:34Ripping
00:42:41Say, Ollie
00:42:42What?
00:42:43I wonder who that old buzzard is over there
00:42:46Oh, probably some old cockroach
00:42:48That had this room before we did
00:42:50Get a load of that puss
00:42:51Say, did you ever see a face like that anywhere
00:42:54Except in a zoo?
00:42:56Sure
00:42:56Where?
00:42:57In a monkey house
00:43:00I never thought of that
00:43:03Monkey house
00:43:05Give me some more fizz water
00:43:11Say, I bet your nickel I can hit him in the eye
00:43:14Bet you can
00:43:15Bet you
00:43:15All right
00:43:19You missed
00:43:21Give me the bottle
00:43:24Dime or nothing
00:43:25All right, I'll give you a chance to get even
00:43:27All right
00:43:27Now
00:43:42What are you doing in my quarters?
00:43:44You've got a lot of nerve
00:43:46What do you mean your quarters?
00:43:48They're our quarters
00:43:49The dean, just give them to us
00:43:50I am the dean
00:43:52Read his character
00:43:53I just did
00:43:54He's a phony
00:43:55It's another rib
00:43:56Sure, he's got ribs all over his face
00:43:58See them?
00:44:00Get out of my quarters, I tell you
00:44:02You know what the trouble is?
00:44:03He's got one of those dizzy spells
00:44:05Yeah
00:44:05He's a dizzy dean
00:44:07Sure, that's what he is
00:44:08Now, come on, dizzy
00:44:09Get out of here before I throw you out
00:44:11Yeah, and that goes for me, too, Diz
00:44:13You care
00:44:13This is an outrage
00:44:15I shall have you sent down
00:44:16I'll have you prosecuted
00:44:18Oh, there's her
00:44:20Oh, and as for you
00:44:22You'll suffer for this
00:44:24That's a lot of baloney
00:44:27There's
00:44:27See here
00:44:28Come on, get out of here
00:44:31We'll, we'll
00:44:31How dare you
00:44:33I'll tell him all about
00:44:38I shall speak to my
00:44:41Jacob
00:44:42Come on, get out of here
00:44:43We've had enough
00:44:44Who to take it
00:44:45Get out
00:44:45No one
00:44:46Stay out
00:44:47Who do you think
00:44:55What is the meaning of this?
00:44:57You'll find out
00:44:58Hey, Dini
00:44:59Tell this nitwit to get out of here
00:45:00And stop bothering us
00:45:02Yeah, he's trying to crash in on our party
00:45:04Isn't he?
00:45:04What is this all about?
00:45:06Hey, Dini
00:45:07Tell him
00:45:08Dini
00:45:09I reiterate
00:45:09I am the dean
00:45:10Ah, don't give us that
00:45:12He told us he was the dean
00:45:14And he gave us these quarters
00:45:15Didn't he stand?
00:45:16He certainly did
00:45:17Didn't you?
00:45:18Is this true, Johnson?
00:45:22Yes
00:45:22See?
00:45:23Now, don't you feel silly?
00:45:24Yeah, get out of here now
00:45:25Silence!
00:45:26You should be expelled
00:45:27Sent down for this, my lad
00:45:29All of you
00:45:30This is the most disgraceful outrage
00:45:32Ever perpetrated in the history of Oxford
00:45:34Report to me in the morning
00:45:36You may go
00:45:37Snitchers
00:45:40Jenkins
00:45:41Yes, sir
00:45:42Help them to pack their things
00:45:43And see if they're taken to their proper quarters
00:45:45Very good, sir
00:45:45That's all
00:45:59What will the Peter say
00:46:00When he hears I'm to be expelled?
00:46:02Don't worry
00:46:03We'll see they're not here tomorrow
00:46:04To testify against us
00:46:06Snitchers like that have no place in Oxford
00:46:08You're right
00:46:09The dirty dogs
00:46:11That's one thing we won't tolerate in Oxford
00:46:15Snitching
00:46:15Right
00:46:15Let's show them
00:46:16Let's go
00:46:17Let's go
00:46:17Let's go
00:46:17Let's go
00:46:17Let's go
00:46:17Do something about it
00:46:18Do you think
00:46:19You are, gentlemen?
00:46:20These are your quarters
00:46:26Melody the valley will be here shortly to attend to your needs
00:46:29Good afternoon, gentlemen
00:46:30Good afternoon
00:46:32Well, so far, so good
00:46:35Can you beat that?
00:46:37What?
00:46:37Look
00:46:38We're only that far from home
00:46:40It says
00:46:41Come in
00:46:45How do you do, gentlemen?
00:46:46I'm Meredith
00:46:47I'm Mr. Hardy
00:46:48This is my friend, Mr. Lawrence
00:46:50How do you do, Mr. Hardy?
00:46:52How do you do, Mr. Lawrence?
00:46:54Your lordship
00:46:56Don't you remember me, sir?
00:46:58I'm Meredith
00:46:59Don't you recall
00:47:00I used to take care of you, sir?
00:47:02Look out another rib
00:47:03Say, that's a lot of hooey
00:47:05You never saw him before in your life
00:47:07No, and I never saw you either
00:47:09Oh, pardon me
00:47:11I understand your lordship
00:47:13Why you don't recognize me
00:47:14Oh, it's a pity
00:47:15It's a pity
00:47:17What's a pity?
00:47:18Oh, it's a sad story, sir
00:47:20It was a great blow to Oxford
00:47:22You see, it's like this, sir
00:47:24When his lordship was here before
00:47:25He was the greatest athlete
00:47:27And the greatest scholar
00:47:28This university ever boasted of
00:47:30And, oh, what a brilliant mind
00:47:35Are you trying to make me believe
00:47:37That this is the guy
00:47:38You're talking about?
00:47:39I know it
00:47:40I was never so sure in my life
00:47:43Brilliant mind
00:47:49Well, I've known him for years
00:47:51And he's the dumbest guy I ever saw
00:47:54Aren't you, Stanley?
00:47:55I certainly am
00:47:56That's why I'm here
00:47:58Oh, pardon me, sir
00:47:59You don't understand
00:48:00I can recall your accident
00:48:02I can recall your accident most vividly
00:48:03What accident?
00:48:05It happened in this very room
00:48:07It was right here
00:48:08At this very window
00:48:10Your lordship had just defeated Cambridge
00:48:12And you were standing there
00:48:13Acknowledging the plaudits of the entire student body
00:48:16And just as I came in with your tea and crumpets
00:48:18The window slipped
00:48:20And hit you on the head
00:48:21His odds of every hammer
00:48:23And when you came to
00:48:25You'd lost your memory
00:48:27And wandered away from the university
00:48:29And we never saw or heard of you
00:48:31From that day to this
00:48:33Pardon me for being frank
00:48:35But I think that you are screwy
00:48:37Sure is nuts
00:48:38He's got bees in his cockpit
00:48:40That's what's the matter with him
00:48:41Oh, if I could only bring your memory back
00:48:43Maybe one of these days
00:48:45Some of your peculiar mannerisms may show up
00:48:47What mannerism?
00:48:49Your lordship had a most outstanding one
00:48:52Did I?
00:48:53And when you got very angry
00:48:55You'd wiggle your ears
00:48:56In a most extraordinary manner
00:48:58And you'd fight like a demon
00:49:03Fight like a demon
00:49:05Wiggle your ears
00:49:07What?
00:49:07Wiggle your ears
00:49:14I can't wiggle my ears
00:49:15Of course you can
00:49:16Of course I can
00:49:17Now stop this kidding
00:49:18And we don't want to hear any more about it
00:49:20No more about it
00:49:20Pretty good, sir
00:49:21Don't want to hear it
00:49:23Say, why don't you read his character?
00:49:24Maybe he's right
00:49:26Maybe I am a lordship
00:49:27You are lordship
00:49:31And we're only this far from home
00:49:34Well, I knew a fellow once
00:49:36That lost his memory
00:49:37And he's better now
00:49:38You see
00:49:43Phi, phi, fo, thumb
00:49:47We want the blood of an American
00:49:50Be he alive
00:49:53What's that?
00:49:55I don't know
00:49:55We'll crush his bones
00:49:57To make our bread
00:49:59Phi, phi, fo, thumb
00:50:03We'll beat those Yankees' life
00:50:06I wonder what this is all about
00:50:08That's the student's charm to revenge, sir
00:50:10Evidently some gentleman has violated the ethics of the student body
00:50:14And when that happens
00:50:16They're never satisfied until they've hounded the guilty one out of Oxford
00:50:31Look, they're pointing at us
00:50:32Don't worry
00:50:50We'll take off their britches and throw them out
00:50:52Here, let's break it, chaps
00:50:59They mean us all right
00:51:00What are we going to do?
00:51:01We'd better get out of here
00:51:02If we want the blood of an American
00:51:06Be he alive or be he dead
00:51:10Where can we hide?
00:51:12Climb out the window so long
00:51:14We'll bring all the legs into the next study
00:51:15And make your escape from there
00:51:19Say, Ollie
00:51:19What have we got to do about the trunk?
00:51:21Never mind a trunk
00:51:24And stone will break
00:51:26There are
00:51:33Good gracious, Meredith
00:51:34Why don't you fix that window?
00:51:36Hit me right on the cranium
00:51:37Your lordship
00:51:39You've got your memory back
00:51:40You know me
00:51:41What on earth are you talking about?
00:51:43Of course I know you
00:51:44Where's my teen Krampus?
00:51:45Hurry
00:51:46Oh, it's a miracle
00:51:47A miracle
00:51:49Are you barmy?
00:51:51See who that is
00:51:52Yes
00:51:53Stop annoying me
00:51:54Yes, my lord
00:51:55Must be losing his memory
00:51:57Silly old boundar
00:51:58There's one of them
00:52:00What is the meaning of this vulgar intrusion?
00:52:03You know what we mean
00:52:04We're going to take off your britches
00:52:06And run you out of Oxford
00:52:07What, take off my britches?
00:52:09In the presence of Meredith
00:52:10Yes, you dirty snitcher
00:52:14Repeat that remark again
00:52:15Dirty snitchers
00:52:23Meredith, hold my handkerchief
00:52:26Yes, my lord
00:52:26Now, I demand an immediate apology
00:52:29An apology
00:52:30I'll give you an apology
00:52:32Thank you
00:52:36Hey!
00:52:43Hey!
00:52:46Hey!
00:52:49Hey!
00:52:51Hey!
00:52:53Hey!
00:52:54Hey!
00:52:54Hey!
00:52:54Hey!
00:52:55Hey!
00:52:55Hey!
00:52:55Hey!
00:52:55Hey!
00:52:56Hey!
00:52:57Hey!
00:52:57Hey!
00:52:58Hey!
00:52:59Hey!
00:52:59Hey!
00:53:00Hey!
00:53:01Hey!
00:53:09The Dean! The Dean!
00:53:31Oh.
00:53:44Wonderful, your lordship, wonderful.
00:53:46Right back to your old form again.
00:53:49It may all good to see you carry on.
00:53:52A bit and half for it across them.
00:53:54Don't annoy me, Meredith.
00:53:55Get this place cleaned up and hurry with my teen crumper.
00:53:58A very good day.
00:53:59I'm starved, really.
00:54:01What's the big idea of throwing me out the window?
00:54:04I beg your pardon?
00:54:06Meredith, who's this coarse person with the foreign accent?
00:54:09Why, you little shrimp.
00:54:11Are you trying to rip me now?
00:54:13Be careful, sir, be careful.
00:54:14His lordship's regained his memory.
00:54:17Don't annoy him, sir, or he may again become violent.
00:54:21It's on the level, then.
00:54:23Yes, sir.
00:54:25Well, congratulations.
00:54:26I'm sorry, but we've never been introduced.
00:54:30Meredith, will you kindly officiate?
00:54:33Mr. Hardy, meet Lord Paddington.
00:54:37How do?
00:54:38What is the nature of your business here?
00:54:41Why, Stan, don't you know me?
00:54:45Know you?
00:54:46Why, I never saw you before in all my life.
00:54:48What are you talking about?
00:54:49Don't you remember?
00:54:50We used to sweep the streets together.
00:54:53Sweep the streets?
00:54:54How dare you?
00:54:55How dare you make such slurring remarks?
00:54:58Meredith, show this common person to Egress, and eject him possibly.
00:55:02This way, sir.
00:55:03Wait a minute.
00:55:04I don't know what you're talking about, but this is gone far enough.
00:55:07I'm gonna mop the floor up with you.
00:55:11Have a care.
00:55:16Wiggling your ears ain't gonna stop me.
00:55:21Wiggling my ears...
00:56:06Come in.
00:56:10Oh, good morning, fatty.
00:56:11Good morning, Your Lordship.
00:56:13Tea, Your Lordship.
00:56:16The Dean wishes to speak with you, Your Lordship.
00:56:18Oh, come right in.
00:56:19Come right in.
00:56:20You may remain here, fatty.
00:56:22Good morning, good morning.
00:56:24Would you care to join me in a spot of tea?
00:56:26No, thanks.
00:56:26Not only for me, thank you.
00:56:27Don't stand there like a dummy.
00:56:28Get a chair for the Dean.
00:56:30Pardon my valet being so horribly stupid.
00:56:34He's not quite broken in yet.
00:56:35Rather thick, as it were.
00:56:37Why do you tolerate him?
00:56:38Oh, I don't know.
00:56:39He's got a jolly old face, you know.
00:56:42Breaks the monotony and helps to fill up the room.
00:56:46And, uh, besides, he's something to talk to.
00:56:48You understand?
00:56:49I quite understand, Your Lordship.
00:56:51Well, a thousand congratulations for all the wonderful things you've accomplished since
00:56:56your return to Oxford.
00:56:57Oh, ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.
00:57:00Might I presume to ask you a favor?
00:57:03Why, certainly.
00:57:05Professor Einstein has just arrived from Princeton.
00:57:08And, uh, he's a bit confused about his theory.
00:57:11You don't say.
00:57:12He wondered if you could, uh, straighten him out.
00:57:15It would be a pleasure.
00:57:17When could you give him a few moments?
00:57:19Uh, let me see, uh, oh, Fatty, uh, hand me my memorandum.
00:57:27Let me see now, uh, Monday till Tuesday, and, uh, suppose we'll make it Ash Wednesday.
00:57:36Oh, thank you, Your Lordship.
00:57:38The Professor will be so very grateful to you.
00:57:40That's perfectly all right.
00:57:42Uh, incidentally, you may invite him to have lunch with me.
00:57:44Oh.
00:57:45Uh, I'm having pancakes.
00:57:46Oh, thank you, Your Lordship.
00:57:49Thank you, Fatty.
00:57:57Good gracious, Fatty.
00:57:58What is this, senna tea?
00:57:59Take this stuff away immediately.
00:58:02Don't let it occur again.
00:58:04My goodness.
00:58:06Hm.
00:58:07Einstein.
00:58:08If it wasn't for that bump on the head, he would know Einstein from a beer stein.
00:58:12Uh, by the way, uh, Fatty.
00:58:15Hey, I've noticed lately that, uh, you're getting terribly sloven.
00:58:19How do you mean, sir?
00:58:20Well, uh, you don't seem to have the dignity of becoming of a lackey.
00:58:25Uh, no poise, sir.
00:58:27You don't walk right or something, uh.
00:58:30Let me see, uh, uh, pour in your stomach.
00:58:35That's better.
00:58:36Now, now throw, throw your shoulders back.
00:58:39That's right.
00:58:39Now, uh, chin up.
00:58:40Chin up.
00:58:41No, no, no, no.
00:58:42Both of them.
00:58:48There, that's better now.
00:58:49Now, now walk around.
00:58:51Let me see you.
00:58:52Now, snap into it.
00:58:53Uh, make it brisker.
00:58:55Brisker.
00:58:56Now, chins up.
00:58:57Chin.
00:58:59Now, look what you've done, clumsy.
00:59:04Listen, I've had enough of this.
00:59:05Well, I knew you and I had more brains in my little finger than you had in your whole carcass.
00:59:11Even with your overcoat on.
00:59:12You're a witty old stick in the nut, aren't you, Fanny?
00:59:15You bet I am.
00:59:16And don't call me Fanny.
00:59:17Don't get excited, old dear.
00:59:18Don't get excited.
00:59:18Who's excited?
00:59:20I'm through.
00:59:20You can take your lordships, your Rocksford, and your Paddingtons, and do what you like with them.
00:59:26Why, I'm surprised, Fanny.
00:59:28I'm still trying to help you out, really, old dear.
00:59:30No thing intentional, really.
00:59:32And there's one more thing, too.
00:59:34I didn't like that double chin crack.
00:59:37Well, now, dear old dear, my goodness, what a pepper.
00:59:40For he's a giant fellow, for he's a giant fellow, for he's a giant fellow, which nobody does deny, which
00:59:47nobody does deny, which nobody does deny, which nobody does deny.
00:59:52I'm going to get my clothes and get out of here and get the first boat back.
00:59:55Insult it on every hand.
00:59:56And another thing.
00:59:58Can't buy no more?
00:59:59Get another boy.
01:00:00Goodbye.
01:00:02Hey, Olly.
01:00:04What?
01:00:05Where you going?
01:00:06Back to America for me.
01:00:09Hey, Olly.
01:00:11Olly.
01:00:13What you going to do?
01:00:15Stan, you know me.
01:00:17Well, of course I know you.
01:00:18What's the matter?
01:00:19Have you got one of those dishes?
01:00:31See you.
01:00:32I'm sure you are.
01:00:33I'm sorry.
01:00:34Reach up for me.
01:00:34Try not to call.
01:00:34Payee tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae啦.
01:00:55We're leaving.лаановitory,
01:00:57You