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Jenna Miscavige is the niece of David Miscavige, the leader of the Church of Scientology. She was raised as a Scientologist and left when she was 22 years old.
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00:00I'm Jenna Miscavige. I was born and raised in Scientology.
00:03My uncle David Miscavige is the leader of Scientology,
00:06and this is everything I'm authorized to tell you.
00:11If you fell asleep at a lecture, you were like made to
00:14scrub a dumpster with a toothbrush. It was all about humiliation.
00:17It was all about control.
00:20There was a period of time when we were expected to work all night.
00:23So it's a kid doing the laundry of adult executives,
00:27basically doing slave labor, only going to school one day a week.
00:32It was evil.
00:38So Scientology is a worldwide religion slash cult.
00:44Like they're in South Africa, they're in the UK,
00:47they're in South America, they're all over the world.
00:51I would say that it is basically a self-help cult that is
00:57masquerading as a religion. It starts out kind of somewhat normal.
01:02And they say like, we'll help you communicate in your marriage better.
01:06But when you look at what Scientology really believes,
01:09they believe that we're all 60 trillion year old beings called thetans.
01:14And we live lifetime after lifetime picking up different bodies.
01:18And your stupid little marriage of this one lifetime is like,
01:22doesn't matter at all.
01:23So it's really kind of like a trick to get you started.
01:26My first memory of Scientology when I was a little kid living in LA,
01:31and my parents were members of Scientology's most dedicated group.
01:35It's called the Sea Org, where you sign one billion year contracts.
01:39And then when I was six years old, I was brought to a place called The Ranch.
01:44It's in San Jacinto.
01:45So it's just for children of parents who work at the International Scientology base,
01:50who are Sea Org members.
01:51There were kids, even like at the beginning, like five years old and up to like 19.
01:59And we're all in the same classroom.
02:01We spent the vast majority of our time doing like manual labor
02:05and then some regular schooling, but it wasn't regular.
02:09Like there weren't grades.
02:11And we were called cadets.
02:13And we were basically Sea Org members in training.
02:16It was like a given and a granted that we were going to be Sea Org members.
02:19So at the ranch, there was about 80 kids.
02:22And there was probably about,
02:25I don't know, I would say maybe eight to 10 adults.
02:27There was a couple security guards.
02:28We're actually all organized into individual units.
02:34There was different hierarchies of kids, like other kids called other kids, sir.
02:39And we were like running our own operation.
02:44So for example, my job for a period of time was that I was like the medical officer.
02:49And I would go around asking each kid if they had any sickness.
02:53And then in Scientology, they have assists, like they have a toothache assist.
02:57They have a headache assist.
02:59So if you're in any kind of pain, you literally like touch someone.
03:03You're like, feel my finger.
03:04I would do that on people.
03:05And I would basically think that I was curing them.
03:08Then after breakfast, after we cleaned, we would do deck work.
03:12So sometimes it was like construction or putting in drywall.
03:17Sometimes it was painting buildings.
03:19Then a lot of times, if you didn't finish your project,
03:21you would have to go finish it during lunchtime.
03:24And then after lunch, probably around two,
03:26we would do like regular academic studies.
03:29And then after dinner, that's when we did Scientology studies.
03:34So that's when we learned about all of the concepts of Scientology.
03:39And then at the end of the night, we would all look at this photo of L. Ron Hubbard,
03:44the founder of Scientology.
03:46And then we would do like three cheers, like hip hip hooray, and clap to his photo.
03:51The ranch wasn't built up yet.
03:52So we're actually like sleeping in tents inside the dorm rooms.
03:57And then eventually after we put together the beds and varnished and lacquered them
04:03and painted the walls in the dorms and sewed the curtains and hung them and installed the ACs,
04:08then we slept in those dorms.
04:12I was really afraid at night for some reason, like terribly afraid.
04:16Like I would have like all my stuffed animals stuffed in there.
04:20And I was like, I couldn't sleep.
04:22Sometimes I would have to like sleep with a friend.
04:24We were completely isolated from the outside world.
04:27I didn't know any non-Scientologists.
04:30So the only change we had within our week from day to day was that on Saturday,
04:34there was no schooling.
04:36We would do heavy labor the entire time.
04:38And we weren't allowed to go to sleep until it passed inspection.
04:42So it was like this really, really thorough cleaning.
04:44After that, we were allowed to go on a bus to our parents' apartment
04:51where we would get there quite late.
04:53And then we could spend the night there.
04:55And then at 11 a.m., we'd already be on our way back to the ranch.
05:00While I was at the ranch, I did constantly miss my parents.
05:03I signed my billion-year contract when I was seven years old.
05:06I was like, sure, a billion years.
05:09My parents are doing that for a billion years.
05:11All I want is to see my parents.
05:12So it's something I wanted and I was always working towards.
05:15You know, if we did our whole curriculum at the ranch,
05:17if we completed all our studies, we did all the things we were supposed to do,
05:21then we would get to work at the international base.
05:24That's where my parents were.
05:25So that was my goal.
05:27That's all I wanted.
05:28That's what I was working towards all the time.
05:35So when I was 12, I was moved to Clearwater, Florida.
05:39That's Scientology's big mecca there for training.
05:42And people come from all over the world to get special training there.
05:46So I went there and I was told that I was a Sea Org member now.
05:51At first, I was put on full-time training.
05:53I was training to be actually somebody who kind of did interrogations on people.
06:00And you have to go through this whole class of learning how to use the e-meter,
06:05which is Scientology's, like, kind of lie detector device.
06:09People work at this for months.
06:11So a Scientology auditing session is a counseling session where they put you on the e-meter.
06:17And you hold two cans.
06:19It sends, like, this teeny tiny electrical current through you.
06:23And they believe that your mind influences this current.
06:26And they look at the e-meter for a response.
06:29Like, say, for instance, they're like, did you do this bad thing?
06:32And if it reads, that means yes.
06:34So you have to answer it.
06:36Then they'll re-ask you the question and see if it reads again.
06:39They go on like this for a long time until your needle floats.
06:42That's how they use the e-meter in an auditing session.
06:44After you finish that, you basically, they do this thing called bull baiting,
06:49where they basically, like, haze you.
06:52And, like, they say, like, sexual things, like, anything they can to provoke a reaction.
06:58Because what they're doing is they're training you to be a counselor.
07:01And they're basically like, if the person who you're counseling treats you in this way, you have to remain calm.
07:06At that time, my job was cleaning the offices of executives with vacuum.
07:12And we would bring snack platters into those offices.
07:17And then we would clean their dorms.
07:20We would do their laundry.
07:22So after dinner, then, I would do studies.
07:24But then at the end of the night, I would go to each room that I had cleaned.
07:28And I would put a vote sheet down where the executive would rate how well I did at ironing,
07:34cleaning, and service.
07:36And that would be my statistic.
07:38And if I got basically good points, then that would determine whether or not I was
07:43allowed to ask for a day off or not.
07:46And at this point, I was on half of half pay.
07:48So I was making $12 a week.
07:50And this was all between when I was 12 and I was 16.
07:55You work 100-hour weeks.
07:57And you have little to no time off.
07:59You live in their communal birthing.
08:01And you are transported by their buses.
08:04You're not allowed to watch TV.
08:06You're not allowed to have a TV.
08:07You're not allowed to access the internet.
08:09Unless you're specially approved and you do it in a room, you're not allowed to have a phone.
08:14In fact, if anybody secretly got a phone, then they would send around these interrogatories
08:20so people could tell on each other and then they would try to confiscate them.
08:23You're all encouraged to write reports on each other.
08:26If you don't report something, then you're in trouble.
08:28So it's like everybody's reporting on each other.
08:30Nobody can trust anybody.
08:32Sometimes in the dining room, they would have a TV and they would play the Olympics
08:38or they would play clips of Tom Cruise on shows.
08:42When I was in Florida, the only interaction I had with people outside of Scientology was
08:46if I had a day off, like if I went to like a store, then I would buy something.
08:51But in Scientology, we called people who aren't Scientologists wogs.
08:55And I was afraid of them.
08:57Like we, like I had no contact with them before.
09:01Like we were told to say like, just say I'm a student.
09:04But I never knew why I was lying.
09:06Like I didn't know what the problem was.
09:08And so I wasn't sure like what would happen if I said the wrong thing and or why.
09:14And so I was just always like just kind of afraid of them.
09:17And then they would always be like, oh, hi, honey.
09:19What are you doing today?
09:20Are you having summer vacation?
09:22And I was like a summer vacation was like not a thing at all.
09:26I didn't know what they're talking about.
09:33So Scientology sort of starts out in a way that seems like a self-help type of thing.
09:40You start at the bottom.
09:41It's called the Bridge to Total Freedom.
09:43And you do it step by step.
09:45You pay as you go.
09:46So in addition to every Scientology level costing money,
09:51Scientology has eight or so large events per year where everyone gets together,
09:58like dresses up, wears like ball gowns and that sort of thing.
10:01And they're always like coming out with some new book, new course,
10:06new something that everyone can pay for.
10:08And after those events, all of the staff, myself included,
10:14basically have to go around like we're given a sales pattern.
10:17That was literally cash or credit.
10:19That was our sales pattern.
10:21And trying to get everyone there to buy whatever it is.
10:25And so Scientology gets big donations through those events.
10:29So Scientology is tax exempt.
10:31I remember there was a big Scientology event where they had this big announcement
10:36and they're like the war is over and they got tax exemption from the IRS.
10:41It's a big incentive for people to donate to them.
10:44A huge one.
10:45Billionaires who are looking to have tax breaks.
10:49But in addition to that, there's certain Scientology organizations like the IAS,
10:54which there's people sitting there at desks all the time.
10:58They call them registrars and they're asking people for money
11:01and they're basically selling them on the fact that they're saving the planet.
11:05And it's all like catering to these people's egos.
11:09Like you're the savior of mankind.
11:11You're a hero.
11:13You're going to get your name and a plaque on the wall.
11:15And so it's kind of interesting.
11:17It's almost like if you're rich, you don't join the seward.
11:22But if you're rich, you remain a Scientology parishioner public where you can have your own
11:26house, you can have your own car, you can have kids, but you give them money.
11:31And if you're famous, you give them PR and money.
11:36The higher up members of Scientology, they might get paid more.
11:40But the truth is that it's about power and the power that money brings you.
11:47So, for instance, my uncle, David Miscavige, he doesn't need to get paid millions of dollars
11:52because his several places all over the world, apartments are paid for by Scientology.
11:58So he can do everything under the radar.
12:00It's actually the best way to be a billionaire without being a billionaire.
12:05The fact that they have all these people's loyalty, they're not just having them pay for courses.
12:09It's an army of people who are willing to lie for them in any legal situation.
12:14So it's not just money.
12:16It's power, devotion, loyalty, dedication, and money.
12:22So as a Sea Org member, you only make like 42 bucks a week and you're not looking to buy
12:28a house.
12:29It's not like you have a bank account where you're setting aside for retirement or your future,
12:34like you're not planning on going to college.
12:36You're not planning on doing anything other than working for Scientology your whole life.
12:42So yeah, that's kind of all you got.
12:44So when you're a Scientology staff member, you don't have to pay for courses.
12:49But if you leave, you owe Scientology all the money for those courses that they made you do.
12:54So if you leave the Sea Org and you decide,
12:56I'm just going to be a Scientologist.
12:58If you want to be in good standing with the church,
13:00you basically get a bill for hundreds of thousands of dollars
13:03that you have to pay off and that many people do.
13:07When we left, my ex-husband wanted to pay it.
13:11We were at war and thankfully he eventually like got on brainwash,
13:15but it was like, it's wild.
13:17And his parents were trying to get him, get us to pay it.
13:25If you're a Scientologist, like a regular Scientologist like Tom Cruise,
13:30who has your own house, has your own car, you can have kids.
13:33You can marry whoever you want to.
13:36Usually it would be a Scientologist or somebody who you're going to make become a Scientologist.
13:42But if you're in the Sea Org, you can only marry another Sea Org member.
13:48And you can really only marry one that's on your base or within your group.
13:53You cannot have sex before you're married.
13:55You don't really have time to do dating.
13:57And if you like, if you touch a boob or anything, you go to the RPF,
14:02which is the Rehabilitation Project Force where you wear all black, you run everywhere.
14:08You're not allowed to speak unless spoken to.
14:11You do heavy manual labor and then you get interrogated for five hours a day.
14:16And they basically like try to literally find your evil intentions and fix them.
14:21You're blacklisted and people are on the RPF for years.
14:24So that's why many people in the Sea Org get married quite young.
14:28Like that's why you have 16 year olds, 17 year olds.
14:32And there isn't like, like you basically believe that age isn't anything.
14:36So you'll have 16 year olds marrying 30 year olds and only having sex for the first time when they
14:43get married.
14:44So it winds up in this really messed up situation.
14:48So I met my ex-husband when I moved to Los Angeles.
14:51When I was 16 and he's just someone who I would see in the halls and I was like, oh,
14:56he's cute.
14:56And sometimes we would work together in the classroom.
14:59He knew that I liked him and then he liked me.
15:02And then like, so basically the only time you can spend together is like after you get home at midnight.
15:09And like we would sit on the fire escape and like talk or like kiss or something like that.
15:15And everyone gets married like a month after you're together when you're there.
15:20And honestly, it's like you really do have everything in common.
15:25You're literally all the same people.
15:27You're wearing the same uniform.
15:29You have the same goals.
15:30So it almost doesn't even matter what your personality is.
15:33It's just like almost like an opportunity to to have a room to yourself instead of being in a dorm.
15:39But that but I don't mean it like like I did really love him.
15:43And it is in many ways, like especially as somebody who didn't have a family.
15:47It's like the closest thing you'll get to it.
15:49And that's a very like natural human desire.
15:52But that person is always still reporting on you.
15:56Their number one loyalty is to Scientology.
15:58And we met and then we decided to get married like a month later.
16:04They wound up taking forever.
16:05So we had sex before we were married when they found out because he confessed,
16:10because you're always taught to confess all the time.
16:13Then they like took him away and like hid him in a building and wouldn't tell me where he was.
16:20And I kind of like went on a rampage to find him because I was like,
16:24this is like the thousandth person in my life who's now been taken away from me.
16:29You know, when I moved from Clearwater, I just lost everybody.
16:32You know, before that, when I moved from the ranch, I lost everybody.
16:36And I was just like, you know, I didn't have my parents.
16:39I didn't have my brothers.
16:40I had nothing.
16:41And I think it just like really set something off in me that I was like, no, you can't do
16:46this anymore.
16:46And we were trying to get married.
16:48You guys wouldn't let us, but we did everything right.
16:51So I, we like started kind of dating when I was 17.
16:55And then we got married when I was 18.
16:59That's how we met.
17:06I mean, I do think that for the most part, people know that Scientology isn't great,
17:11but I do think one misconception is that they think it's just because Scientology is weird and
17:16they believe in aliens and that it's just like sort of making fun of their beliefs when
17:20really it's like terribly abusive organization.
17:25I've been in an interrogation in a day for nine hours.
17:29But like, usually it was like two or three hours a day, but this would go on for months.
17:35It was when my parents had left.
17:38The lady who was interrogating me just went on and on and on.
17:41If they think that you're acting weird, if you're being non-compliant,
17:45if they don't like you or if they are paranoid, as they were most of the time in my case,
17:52because my uncle was the leader of Scientology and they always want to know what I'm up to at
17:56all times, then they'll give you an interrogation.
17:59And the thing is, it's like, if you protest, you just look guilty.
18:04So it's like, you, you don't really have any rights like that.
18:10To them, it's like, why would anybody say no?
18:12Oh, they really are hiding something.
18:15So it's like, you just suck it up.
18:17I experienced anxiety every day of my life that I was there.
18:22Every second of every day, practically.
18:24Not just because of interrogations, but because the e-meter checks in the course room,
18:29the other e-meter checks they did.
18:30Any time you're walking past an executive, no matter what mood they're going to be in,
18:35are you going to be in trouble that day?
18:37It's like, all it is, is anxiety.
18:40And getting asked questions on the e-meter, you like learn to get to this state where
18:45when they're asking you something, you just basically disassociate.
18:49But it is a really kind of messed up thing because you wind up disassociating from yourself,
18:54your emotions, and that affects you long after you leave Scientology.
19:00Like, this is why when I'm talking to you right now, I'm not crying.
19:03I feel nothing.
19:05In the end, Scientology believes that they can cure any illness through Dianetics and Scientology.
19:11They think that that's what's all at the root cause of it.
19:15And they distrust the medical field.
19:19When I was a kid, so if I had a headache, I was never allowed to take Tylenol.
19:23And they just have distrust for that because they don't believe that it's the real cause of illness.
19:30Now, if you're like bleeding out or something like that, they are going to take you to the doctor.
19:34But fundamentally, they don't have a lot of respect for the medical field.
19:39While I was leaving, I had bought a cell phone for myself.
19:44And they tried to take it from me over and over again.
19:47And I would not let them.
19:48I said, if you try to take my phone, I'll call the police.
19:51That was something that my dad told me to say.
19:54I would have never thought to call the police.
19:55And I would never have known those rights.
19:57I would never have reported anything to the police.
20:06So Scientology actually has a program to recruit celebrities that Scientology's founder L. Ron Hubbard laid out.
20:13And it's specifically for the purpose of getting them in.
20:16And if you help them, then they'll become good PR for Scientology.
20:20It's a strategy.
20:22That's why they have celebrity centers.
20:24John Travolta was one of the first celebrities that they ever had that created that L. Ron Hubbard himself was
20:30like, John Travolta creates great PR for us.
20:32So let's do this.
20:33So celebrities are not just about the money, although it is, but it's more about them being able to put
20:39Scientology on the map and to be a good example to people of what Scientology can do.
20:45Actors and certain celebrities, some of them are just like, they get to be a big fish in a small
20:50pond.
20:51And I think that they get something that really caters to their ego.
20:55You can be just like the big man on campus.
20:59Well, when I was in L.A., I worked at more of like a management building.
21:03So actually, I like I would see more celebrities when I was in Clearwater, like I saw John Travolta.
21:10I saw Leah Remini and people like that.
21:13I never met Tom Cruise, but I did think that he was like an awesome hero when he was like
21:21jumping on Oprah's couch and saying all those rude things to Matt Lauer.
21:25I was like, yes, this guy is selling everyone on Scientology.
21:30I was totally brainwashed and had no perspective at all.
21:35I was like, oh, my God, he's so cool.
21:37And now when I watch back, I'm like, oh, also, sometimes he would pay for all of us to go
21:43see a movie.
21:44And so it was usually a Tom Cruise or John Travolta movie.
21:47And I don't know what he would get from that.
21:50I was just happy to be seeing a movie.
21:58I definitely saw my uncle a lot growing up.
22:02L. Ron Hubbard had just recently died and my uncle David Miscavige took over as a leader of Scientology.
22:09On Christmas, we would normally like have the day together.
22:13Basically, sometimes like if I was like when I said we would work in the galley at the international base,
22:20like he would see me and he would like take me to his office.
22:24He would like take pictures of me at his desk, like acting like I had his job and he thought
22:29it was funny and stuff like that.
22:31So my uncle was always around and they always like would send me a Christmas present or a birthday present.
22:37He would always pop in and talk to me briefly.
22:40A lot of the time when I was in Clearwater, I saw him and my Aunt Shelly, his wife, a
22:47lot more than I saw my own parents.
22:49They were working at the end of the hall.
22:51I mean, I think that in order to be like a cult leader, like basically nobody is all evil every
22:57second of the time.
22:59In fact, that's what makes it more insidious.
23:00I think that he's capable of many evil things.
23:03He has many yes men and he's created a system where it's like he can't back out now and start
23:10being good.
23:11So he has to just keep believing his own bull and keep sustaining this system, in my opinion, until he
23:18dies.
23:19And then after that, like, who cares as far as he's concerned?
23:23I don't even know that he actually believes in Scientology.
23:32So randomly, when I was 16, I was taken out of my everyday work, which at that time I was
23:38doing some work in the hotels.
23:40And I started getting interrogated every day by this lady.
23:45She would be doing filmed interrogations of me.
23:48She would ask me all kinds of sexual questions.
23:52What she would ask me stuff about my intentions towards my uncle.
23:56And then the time when I wasn't getting interrogated, I would have to clean the bathroom floor.
24:01And like it was like because I was in trouble, but I didn't know why.
24:06So that went on for a few months.
24:08And then I had no idea what was going on.
24:11I was told to pack up all my stuff that I was going to fly.
24:15So I wound up going to LA and I arrived at the airport.
24:20They took me to a building on Hollywood Boulevard.
24:22I went to like the 10th floor and then I waited in a room for two hours.
24:26And then two high level Scientology executives came in, people who I'd known my whole life.
24:32And they basically told me, your parents have left the Sea Org.
24:37They are in Mexico now.
24:39They live there and we want you to go with them.
24:44And so I was basically like, I have hardly seen my parents at all since I was 12.
24:50And even then I hardly saw them at all.
24:52Like my mom was always off on some project and I was like, they're basically strangers.
24:58And I was afraid of leaving Scientology.
25:01I thought like my my salvation depended on it.
25:04And I was afraid of never seeing any of my friends again.
25:07And so I was like, I don't want to go.
25:08And then I wound up talking to my parents and convincing them to let me stay because my parents
25:15had also been young in the Sea Org like me.
25:18And they, I think, knew that if they didn't let me, then I would hate them.
25:23And so I had to disconnect from them.
25:25And I wasn't allowed to receive any mail or letters or anything from them.
25:30And so Scientology basically like kept me under watch, like having someone guard me all the time.
25:37For several months after that, I continued to get interrogated.
25:41So when I was in Los Angeles, my day to day life was much the same.
25:47Would wake up every day, put on my uniform, eat breakfast.
25:51If you showed up late, you would get brought up in front of the group and humiliated.
25:55Then I would go to my office and I would work on
25:57collecting fabric samples and picking out chairs for different Scientology buildings.
26:03In the evening, I would have Scientology studies.
26:06And then those would be done about 930 at night.
26:09And then honestly, I would go back to the office and work until midnight.
26:13We were expected to work all night.
26:16Like we would like catch an hour or two of sleep under our desk sometimes,
26:20or sometimes you'd be allowed to go home to your dorm to sleep for a few hours.
26:25But we're expected to stay up all night because getting the designs done for these buildings was urgent.
26:35When I was 16, I was sent on a mission to a small failing church in Australia.
26:42We were supposed to fundraise money for them to buy a new building.
26:46It was in Canberra, Australia.
26:48Honestly, I think Scientology was trying to get rid of me.
26:50I think they were trying to get rid of me because I was like asking questions, causing problems.
26:55And I like they were afraid of how my parents being outside of Scientology, like the problems that might cause.
27:03And so I think that's what they were really trying to do.
27:05But it wound up being like one of the first times I really had sustained contact with the outside world,
27:13where I would meet people who weren't Scientologists and they were nice and cool and weren't like terrifying.
27:21And it was also the first time I saw that Scientology wasn't really like everybody knew about it
27:26and was taking over the world and the best thing in the world, like nobody heard of it at that
27:31point.
27:31So that was sort of like life changing for me.
27:34I would say that one of the biggest things I noticed was people were nice to you because that wasn't
27:42how it was in Scientology.
27:43Like the idea of giving someone empathy wasn't a thing.
27:48Like you would robotically acknowledge what someone said, but there wasn't any like shared feelings,
27:55like giving someone a hug if they were having a hard time.
27:58And that was something that really stood out for me as different.
28:01I was like, people are like openly nice to each other and they feel bad if someone went through something
28:08hard.
28:09Like that would be treated with suspicion in Scientology.
28:12And it was actually really nice.
28:13I also had a little bit of like where I wasn't on their tight schedule.
28:18I like wasn't supposed to, but I did watch TV a little bit.
28:21Like I feel like I watched like Australian Idol and Australian Big Brother and it was just like fun.
28:27And so like I had a chance to relax for the first time in my life because I was like
28:32an adult now.
28:34It was almost like I was starting to listen to my own self a little bit more.
28:38And it sort of was the first time that I had any real doubts.
28:45I was also speaking to my parents when I was in Australia, which I wasn't allowed to do when I
28:51was back in the States.
28:53And they would just tell me little things like, you know, it's not what you think it is, but they
28:58would do it very carefully and not to overwhelm me.
29:00I was in Australia for about a year. And then when we went back, the contrast of how like rigid
29:08and horrible and and honestly how much how rude they were to all of us, how horribly we were treated.
29:15It's like if you fell asleep at a lecture, you were like made to scrub a dumpster with a toothbrush.
29:20It was all about humiliation. It was all about like control.
29:25It was evil. It was the first time that I saw I was like, no, they're just like this isn't
29:32how you treat people who you care about.
29:33This isn't how people act who want to help people. And I like just couldn't unsee it.
29:44So when I first thought about escaping Scientology, I was 21 and I just come back from Australia and just
29:54seeing how stark
29:55the conditions were in comparison to the freedom I'd been having.
29:59And on top of it, after my parents having left, other friends having left, I wanted to leave.
30:05I told my husband, he said that he would leave with me if I did all the things I needed
30:11to do in order to leave in good standing.
30:13Because I was just leaving the Sea Org, not Scientology.
30:17I told Scientology that I wanted to leave. Like I was like, no, I don't I don't want to be
30:21here anymore.
30:22I want out. And then so they had me on full time watch where I was being guarded all the
30:28time.
30:29They tried to get me to sign an NDA. And by this time, I was really angry because my husband
30:36started like disappearing.
30:38And then he started like waffling about whether or not he was going to leave with me.
30:41And so I wound up just like shredding this NDA in their face. I was just like, f*** you.
30:47But then when it was time to leave, finally, like my husband would disappear and then he was like started
30:56crying and he was like, I love you so much.
30:59And he was like, they've been talking to me every day and doing interrogations on me and telling me that
31:07if I leave with you, I'm never going to be able to speak to my family again.
31:12Like he grew up in a little bit more of a more normal way than me. And so for him,
31:16the idea of losing his family was terrible.
31:19So we wound up driving to San Diego where his parents lived.
31:23I left the Sea Org at the end of 2005. Then we were gone and it seems like it would
31:29be a big relief, but really they did not make it easy after that.
31:32I didn't have an education. I never got a high school diploma, nor did any of the kids there. I
31:37don't have any savings. I had no idea how to drive. I barely knew how to cook.
31:42And so I was like entering a world of bogs. It was scary. Like everything I did, everywhere I went,
31:51I was like, do I look normal right now?
31:53I was like, just like all I could concentrate on was like trying to like not be a total weirdo.
31:58So and then as as hard as they made it, it was still a million times easier than being in
32:06the Sea Org there.
32:08Like at least we could watch TV. At least we could have a night off. At least I could eat
32:13regular food.
32:14And then we were just living with his parents and we actually started working at their jewelry company.
32:19We had no money at all, but we did have a job right away, which is more than a lot
32:24of people have when they leave the Sea Org.
32:32I think that I almost immediately started speaking out about Scientology.
32:38I thought that what they did was so wrong. And my parents didn't love that at first.
32:43And of course, neither did my ex-husband's parents.
32:47Eventually, like, yeah, I mean, they support me in whatever I do, but they just didn't want to have any
32:52more of their life go towards Scientology or be wasted by it.
32:57Or, you know, Scientology is notoriously litigious, harasses people.
33:02And they even like did crazy stuff. Like one time when I was at work and me and my ex
33:08-husband worked at the same place and he got a call and it was like, yeah, is this Dallas Hill?
33:15He was like, yes. And the person said, I'm a good Samaritan. I have a police scanner.
33:19You have two people who've been following you for weeks.
33:22And he was like, what? How do you know?
33:25And he said, yep, you went to this hairdresser. You went here. You went here.
33:29And I just want to make sure you know this.
33:33My neighbors would tell me that strange people came and spoke to them and just caused so much stress and
33:41strife within the family and so much distrust that it was it was horrible.
33:47So after I did a few media news programs about Scientology, I took a little bit of a break because
33:56I had kids and I was very determined to be the best parent I could be to make sure that
34:05my kids had a very different life than what I had growing up.
34:10It was like like I was actually psychotically obsessed with it, which is another weird way that like Scientology controls
34:18you because it's like you think you're getting out of their control, but you're doing it so hardcore that it's
34:23like you have to like go too far one way and then come back.
34:27But having my kids, knowing how much love they need, sort of learning what a normal life looks like and
34:39honestly being able to heal through like maybe I wasn't able to have that, but giving that to them made
34:46it made a huge difference to me.
34:47And it still does every day.
34:50Like it's the only like real unconditional love that I have experienced in my life.
34:55And so after I had them, I decided to write a book.
35:02My book is called Beyond Belief, My Secret Life Inside Scientology and My Heroine Escape.
35:08And it just details my Scientology experience from beginning to end.
35:14I have a YouTube channel where I talk about my experience in Scientology, but I also talk a lot about
35:20healing after the fact.
35:22But it is really important for me to get the message out that it's not just about crazy alien beliefs.
35:27It's all of the other things, the abuses, the making people go broke.
35:33The alien beliefs are the least of it.
35:40In Scientology, they believe Phaetans have godlike powers, that we created the universe, that we can like pew pew things
35:50at will and like read each other's mind.
35:52And the only reason we can't do that anymore is because of bad things that have happened to us.
35:58And only through Scientology can we regain these godlike powers.
36:04They believe everyone is a god.
36:05And so it seems harmless at first.
36:07It starts out kind of somewhat normal.
36:10And then the more you move up little by little, you learn more.
36:14You have to pay for everything in Scientology.
36:16And so every time you pay, you are invested.
36:20And you're recruiting new people in it.
36:22And soon it becomes where your family members are in it.
36:25Your friends are in it.
36:26You, how are you going to explain to yourself that you've now paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for nothing?
36:32So as you go up the levels and there's the operating Phaeton levels, there's one that's called OT3.
36:38That's the wall of fire.
36:39And at that level, you basically learn that Scientology believes that there's this evil galactic warlord named Xenu.
36:50They make like little references to alien stuff throughout Scientology, but it doesn't all come together until that point that
36:57that's what it's about.
36:58I never remember this story because it's so dumb.
37:01I don't know, he froze people in glycol and dumped them in a volcano and then shot them down to
37:08earth or something.
37:09And then somehow we got all these like miserable little Phaetons attached to our bodies and that's what's bringing us
37:17down.
37:17And so in order to get rid of them, you have to counsel, which Scientology's word is audit, yourself holding
37:25the cans of your own e-meter and telepathically speak to these things that are on your body.
37:31And get rid of them and that's the only way forward.
37:35And so the goal is to become a Phaeton or a spiritual being who can operate independently of matter, energy,
37:44space and time.
37:45And so at some point it's like, guess what?
37:48We believe in aliens and we know you've paid hundreds of thousands of dollars and you can't tell anyone.
37:54They believe, they teach you that if you find this out before you're ready, before you've done all the previous
38:00steps, like you will die or you will like turn crazy.
38:04You learn about it in like a locked room and all that sort of thing.
38:09So many of my family members knew about this, but you never, ever speak to each other about it or
38:15confirm it.
38:15When I learned about it on South Park, which is confirmed by my parents, yeah, this is really what it
38:20is.
38:21Like I was, it was shortly after I left Scientology and I was honestly still afraid.
38:25Like I was like, what if something happens to me?
38:29And so I tested on my ex-husband and he watched and he was fine.
38:35Well, we were both kind of scared, but it was like, oh my God.
38:38So you start at grade one, you address problems and then you address like bad things you've done.
38:45First, you'd start out with something called like the purification rundown where you're in a sauna for five hours a
38:51day.
38:52And they think that you're like sweating out your toxins.
38:54It's hard to be in a sauna for five hours a day.
38:56I was like getting bloody noses and all this stuff like it.
39:00And I had never like done any drugs.
39:02So it's very weird.
39:04But anyways, they want to like get the drugs out of your mind so they're not influencing your mind so
39:09you can continue on other levels.
39:11Then you get Dianetics where you address engrams.
39:14They believe that during moments of pain and unconsciousness, certain words that were said are now keeping you down, making
39:21you like have psychosomatic illness.
39:25So after that, then you achieve the state of clear, which is somebody who no longer has their reactive mind.
39:32And then you do the OT levels.
39:34So the OT levels, one through eight, those are the highest levels of Scientology, enlightenment and counseling.
39:44And then in Clearwater, you can do up to OT seven.
39:47And then only on the free winds, the cruise ship that's in like Curaçao or like the ABC islands, you
39:55can only go there to do OT eight.
39:58Like are at the end of completing every step.
40:00It's like, what have you achieved in this?
40:02Is there anything you would like to say?
40:05You know that you have to say something, but you don't always know what it is.
40:09So like just say at the end of that purification rundown in the sauna, it's like, wow, I feel like
40:14I'm freed from the harmful effects of drugs.
40:17You have to say that in a success story.
40:20Every day they ask you to write a success story.
40:21So I didn't do the OT levels.
40:23Like I got to Clear before the OT level.
40:27So it's like halfway up.
40:28It's one thing if an adult wants to join this weird cult, but it's really confusing when you're a kid
40:34and it's really messed up.
40:43So in a Scientology building, they usually have a receptionist and then they'll have classrooms and they'll have counseling rooms,
40:51which are very small, just enough to fit a desk.
40:54And then they'll have like in another area where it's like you'll learn all about Scientology.
40:59So they'll have these displays that are interactive and will have books and show you videos in a way that
41:04Scientology has decided is the best way to teach people about Scientology.
41:08In the churches that deliver the OT levels, those course rooms are like locked, like they're like you can't get
41:17in without a certain code and a key fob.
41:20And there's like very extreme security around those.
41:25So those course rooms, those have tables.
41:28A bunch of people can sit at them.
41:31And there's a supervisor who walks around with a clipboard looking at what people do.
41:36People aren't allowed to talk to each other and they give them checks on the e-meter to see if
41:42they've gone by words that they don't understand.
41:45You have to like ask to go to the bathroom if you need to go.
41:48I still ask to go to the bathroom randomly and I seem like a weirdo and you can't leave.
41:58And if you're late, you get in trouble.
42:01So the big blue building with the Scientology sign on it, the bottom floor has dining halls for the crew.
42:09And there's like a few offices.
42:11There's a security office that has that has access.
42:15Like they see all the cameras that are around the whole base.
42:17All the rest of that building, our crew live there.
42:20So it's dorms.
42:22And honestly, these speed runs that went on earlier this year, you know, Scientology whined and complained about how it
42:28was trespassing and all of that.
42:30Meanwhile, they have these signs that say all are welcome.
42:33It's like I feel proud of those kids for going in there, even if they're trolling, even if they're just
42:39like it's they're not doing it in a serious way.
42:42It's like showing people that this isn't like Scientology.
42:46Yes, it's seriously bad, but it's not a real religion.
42:54So one thing is that my priority is actually to stop people from being recruited into Scientology.
43:00Right now, Scientology has a big TikTok campaign going on, and they're showing up with their Dynetics booths in parks
43:07and certain like public locations trying to recruit people.
43:11It's hard to get someone out once they've been in.
43:45It's hard to get someone out once they've been in.