00:08Objectively speaking, they have far more opportunities and resources than any previous
00:12generation in history. Yet, a growing mental health crisis looms, rooted in unrealistic
00:19expectations of themselves. I'm Elvira Berry, a writer, philosopher, and teacher. Today,
00:26we'll explore how to reset those expectations.
00:35Anxiety afflicting Generation Z stems from us, their parents. We grew up during the emergence
00:42of the Internet and the dismantling of many social constraints. As a result, many of us made
00:49breakthroughs our predecessors couldn't even imagine. Previous generations lived by
00:56necessity, not desire. The freedom to choose started with us, and we use it to elevate our
01:03lives to new heights. In a sense, we started from scratch, though that's not entirely true,
01:10and our children grew up hearing those stories.
01:19Now, let's put ourselves in the shoes of a Gen Z individual. They were likely never spanked. And
01:27even if their safety and well-being weren't always meticulously maintained, it was at least a priority.
01:34Every trophy was laid at their feet, and high hopes were pinned on them. With few or no siblings,
01:41the family's attention was squarely on them. Even if explicit demands for extraordinary
01:48achievements weren't made, they were certainly implied. After all, shouldn't they prove that
01:54their parents' efforts weren't in vain? On top of that, social media constantly
01:59bombards Gen Z with success stories. These stories are supposed to inspire. If I can do it,
02:06so can you. But in reality, they clip the wings of those who can see a path or feel strong
02:13enough
02:13to follow on. Worse yet, some personality types simply don't care about grand achievements.
02:25Young people face three simultaneous pressures. First, teens are wired to separate from their
02:32parents and stop listening to them. But given the current cost of living and the qualifications
02:38required for entry-level jobs, physical separation is often impossible. This unmet need creates deep
02:47subconscious discomfort. Second, if a teen's personality type dictates one thing, but society
02:55demands something entirely different, a breaking point will occur. Young people constantly compare
03:02themselves with others. They see their parents, who've risen from nothing to success, confident,
03:08strong and decisive, and assume they've always been that way. But what about them? They fall short.
03:21When Generation Z hears these stories of success, it appears as though the road to achievement was a
03:28straight line. First, I got into this school. Then I overcame this obstacle. Then I landed this job.
03:37But the reality was far more complicated. Stories of doubts, mistakes, and wasted resources are often left out.
03:46As a result, unrealistic expectations form along with the shame of not living up to them. To fix this,
03:54we need to redefine success and manage our expectations. Maintaining mental health means
04:03constantly organizing these aspects of our lives, which is why spiritual growth is so important.
04:15The first essential step is defining yourself clearly. A person is not defined by success or status,
04:22but by their interests and fears. On my website, elvirabari.com, you'll find a quiz that helps you
04:29understand who you truly are and why certain qualities form the foundation of your personality.
04:35The link is in the description below. The next step is realizing your unique path.
04:43Instinctively, we want to imitate others and achieve the same level of success to prove I am just as good
04:50as
04:51you. I can do it too. I'll explain why this happens in future videos, so be sure to subscribe to
04:57my channel.
04:58Mindless imitation is a surefire way to destroy your true self. A person's goals must align not with
05:05what's trendy, prestigious, or what their parents or social media friends are doing, but with what
05:12resonates with their personality type and purpose. A fulfilled life comes from knowing who you are,
05:18recognizing your value, and pursuing goals that matter to you. When this alignment happens,
05:25a realistic worldview and reasonable expectations follow.
05:34Here is an example. Andrew 19 is the only child of a loving family. He grew up in comfort, never
05:41knew
05:42a hardship and was given everything he could ever dream of. His parents are highly successful,
05:48intelligent, and talented people with abilities well above average. With their guidance, Andrew got into
05:55a prestigious university, but his grades were less than stellar. He worked hard but couldn't achieve
06:02excellence. Seeing his parents' disappointment was unbearable. His father couldn't understand why Andrew
06:09was struggling with basic things and his mother wondered how to boost his motivation and perseverance.
06:16Listening to their advice, Andrew began to hate himself. They had given him every chance, secured his
06:25future, yet he was squandering it all. The real source of his misery wasn't low self-esteem or incompetence,
06:32but an unrealistic story he was telling himself. Andrew failed to recognize that his father, his long-life
06:40role model, hadn't attended an elite university with a challenging program. His father studied at a
06:46provincial college in a new field with far lower standards. Twenty years ago, there was no social media
06:54and his dad didn't torment himself by constantly comparing himself to Steve Jobs or other stars.
07:01Andrew's father was fulfilling his purpose. But Andrew's path is his own. The world won't fall apart if
07:08Andrew admits that his own desires and needs matter too. However, his mental health may crumble if he doesn't
07:16shed the destructive stories poisoning his life. The best thing Andrew can do is adopt the following mindset.
07:23I'm not here to impress others or give them what they are missing. I accept myself as I am and
07:30I
07:31understand why I am this way. I have the right to make mistakes. My task is to realize my potential,
07:38what I've naturally been given. If someone doesn't like that, I listen to their opinion, but my life is
07:45about how I move forward to my goals, in my circumstances, not about fulfilling someone
07:52else's expectations. That's all for today. Subscribe and we'll continue exploring modern spirituality
07:59and how it helps us live better lives.
