00:13Once upon a time, there were three little pigs.
00:17The first little pig built his house of straws.
00:20Straw? Oh, that sounds so good. I can almost taste it.
00:24Do you mind? I'm trying to tell a story.
00:28The second pig built his house of sticks.
00:32Oh, boy. Nice, tasty sticks.
00:34Hey, back off, goat boy. Eating is my thing.
00:37I could out-eat you any day of the week, sister.
00:41And the third pig built his house of bricks.
00:45Bricks? That seems overly protective.
00:48What is Mr. Morrida hiding from?
00:51What?
00:52The third pig wanted a strong house, for he knew...
00:56Wait! What's the fourth pig's house made of?
00:58There is no fourth pig.
01:00Whoa!
01:01The third pig, however, knew that in the nearby woods, there lived a big, bad wolf.
01:08Wolf? Make some room, shorty.
01:10What's so bad about a wolf?
01:11This story needs a horse with, uh, muscles and sunglasses.
01:16Charisma.
01:16Oh, very well.
01:18Once upon a time, the big, bad horse, who had lovely muscles and sunglasses and charisma,
01:26was eaten by the big, bad wolf.
01:29This is not funny!
01:31May I continue now?
01:32Fine. Forget me. Go on.
01:34One day, the wolf came to call, and the first little pig ran into his house of straw.
01:40Now, wait a minute.
01:41Is this the story with all the huffing and the puffing and the...
01:49Blowing the house down?
01:53Oh, yeah. I know the one you mean.
01:55And then the cow jumps over the green cheese moon.
01:57Then she's rescued from hostile beings by Grace Rogers of the 21st Dynasty.
02:03But she meets her match against the big, bad, monster horse, Buxilla.
02:10That's right! Everybody runs from the huff daddy.
02:12Let's go, Wolfie! You want a piece of me?
02:15No, no, no. Stop it. Stop that. Stop it.
02:18This is absolute rubbish. I've never heard...
02:21Wow! That was the most awesome story ever.
02:27Well, it's always been my opinion that the classics could do with a bit of embellishment to lighten things up
02:34a bit.
02:34Now, then. Jack and the Beanstalk.
02:38Once upon a time.
02:39Yeah!
02:54You
02:55You
