00:00And I had just found out that he's a great athlete, a brutal tackler.
00:05You know, some guys I play little tiny football.
00:07I didn't like it too much.
00:08I liked to watch it.
00:09I didn't love being tackled by large people.
00:16And I didn't like it.
00:17But I'm looking at him up and down and I'm studying him.
00:21And then I made the mistake.
00:23I told in fun.
00:24And I said, I looked at his ass and I've never done that with a man before.
00:30It's true.
00:33Off the record, women, yes, men, no.
00:35Okay.
00:42By the way, I looked at one hell of a beautiful ass before, Nicki Minaj.
00:51That's hard to miss.
00:55That's stand-up, Nicki.
00:57That's hard to miss.
01:08Okay.
01:09I'm going to get back to my story, Nicki.
01:11I hope Nicki wasn't insulted, but we love Nicki.
01:13She's been with us for a long time.
01:15By the way, so wait.
01:17So this is to show you how fake the news is.
01:22So I revealed the story to 30,000 people.
01:27And it's in Ohio.
01:28And I said, you know, he was a football player.
01:31And a few people said, yeah, he was an All-American.
01:33A few people do.
01:34The football, big football fans.
01:36But while he's speaking, you know, ladies and gentlemen, thank you.
01:39My name's John Houston.
01:40And I'm examining his body.
01:44And I said, his ass was like a big piece of muscle.
01:49His feet were massive.
01:51His hands, his fingers look like sausages.
01:54My hands aren't bad.
01:55But his fingers look like sausages.
01:59And then I looked at his neck.
02:01And I saw the neck.
02:03And I saw the strength.
02:04And then I patted him on the shoulder.
02:06And I hurt my hand because it was like hitting a piece of stuff.
02:09They said, this guy is much different.
02:11And I explained that.
02:12I said, when I said I looked at his ass and I said, the press went crazy the next day.
02:18They said, what's with Trump?
02:20All he wants to do is talk about a man's ass.
02:23There's something different about Trump.
02:25They didn't explain the whole football deal.
