00:01quite a while pal quite a while 10 10 years they had spent nearly 10 years waiting for this moment
00:11don herbert was speaking again recognizing voices his family feared he had forgotten
00:16his wife could barely believe what she was hearing then he asked one question within seconds the joy
00:23in that room gave way to tears but before we start smash the like button and make sure to subscribe
00:28if you haven't and hit that notification bell so that you won't miss any new stories on december 29
00:361995 firefighters in buffalo new york responded to a burning house don herbert went inside with his
00:42crew above them snow weighed on the roof of the old building don was working in the attic when the
00:47structure gave way burying him beneath debris his colleagues knew he was still inside they pushed
00:53toward the place where he had last been seen searching through the wreckage while the fire
00:57continued around them when they finally reached him they brought him out through an attic window
01:02don was alive but he had been deprived of oxygen for several minutes at the hospital his wife linda
01:08and their four sons faced a scene none of them could have prepared for the man who took the boys
01:13fishing
01:14and camping now lay unresponsive in intensive care don had joined the buffalo fire department in 1986
01:20and had earned honors for his service he had carried children out of a burning apartment and returned for
01:26the adults still trapped inside his family knew the risks of his work knowing those risks had not
01:32prepared them to stand beside his bed searching his face for any sign that he knew they were there
01:37linda spoke to him and watched for a response a movement of his hand a small reaction to her voice
01:43anything might mean he was finding his way back the injury had severely affected his brain and his vision
01:49was badly damaged too nobody could give her the answer she wanted whether the husband she knew would
01:54return to her their youngest son nicholas was still a small child the older boys had years of memories of
02:01their father before the fire nick had far fewer at first though they were all waiting for the same thing
02:06they wanted dad to wake up don eventually emerged from the initial coma and there were early attempts at
02:12rehabilitation for a time the family had something to build its hope around he could make limited
02:18responses and they could imagine those small gains becoming larger ones but his progress did not continue
02:25steadily his condition worsened and he spent much of the following years in a minimally conscious state
02:31with very limited awareness and communication he was not asleep without interruption for a decade
02:37he could be awake yet unable to hold an ordinary conversation or reliably connect with the people
02:44who loved him that distinction became the family's daily reality he moved to father baker manor a nursing
02:51facility in orchard park there he needed ongoing care and help with the basic tasks of living linda
02:58continued trying to find answers she consulted doctors and searched for information about brain injuries
03:04hoping to understand what might still be possible some conversations left her devastated there seemed
03:10to be little anyone could offer beyond the care he was already receiving yet his family still had to
03:15decide how to live through the next week the next birthday the next year don remained part of their lives
03:22even when they could not tell how much of those lives reached him linda tried to include him in family
03:27occasions birthdays arrived holidays came around and his sons kept growing their father could be
03:34there in his wheelchair while the conversations went on around him but the familiar exchange was
03:39missing the boys could tell him what they had been doing without knowing whether he understood
03:43for the older sons each visit brought the contrast between the father they remembered and the man in
03:49front of them for nick childhood itself was passing inside that uncertainty as he grew more of the father
03:56he knew came from other people's stories and the visits to the nursing home the years did not make
04:02those visits easy later the sons described how painful it remained to see their father so changed linda had
04:09to hold the family together while carrying her own grief and uncertainty she worked as a school crossing guard
04:15and continued looking for help for don life required decisions from her every day whether or not there
04:21had been any change in his condition the boys moved toward adulthood their voices deepened their futures
04:28began taking shape don's family could see time passing in one another they had no way to know how that
04:34passage of time existed for him by early 2005 nearly a decade had passed since the fire don's physician
04:42dr jamil ahmed adjusted his treatment using medicines intended to improve alertness and brain function
04:49there was no assurance that they would restore meaningful communication and the family had lived through too much
04:55uncertainty to know what to expect the treatment would later become part of the discussion about his
05:01remarkable improvement although it could not provide a certain explanation for everything that
05:06followed at the nursing home life continued then on april 30th something happened that was different
05:13from the small uncertain responses people had learned to watch for don wanted to speak to his wife it was
05:19a
05:19clear request directed towards someone who mattered to him staff contacted linda for years calls about
05:26her husband had concerned his condition his care and what he needed this time he was asking for her
05:32himself news traveled through the family and his sons hurried to the nursing home friends from the fire
05:38department came too they entered a room where the familiar routines had suddenly changed don was responding to
05:45the people around him he was talking with them after so much time searching for signs they were hearing
05:51his voice answer theirs the injury had left him with severe vision loss so their voices were especially
05:57important as people spoke he recognized familiar names and relationships conversations reached back to his
06:04firefighting days and the life he remembered before his injury one of the nurses lent the family a video camera
06:10allowing them to record the reunion those recordings would preserve something that had seemed almost
06:16impossible during the long years of limited response don taking part in a conversation with the people
06:21closest to him but as the family gathered around they began to realize that recognition did not mean
06:28he understood everything that had happened the difference became painfully clear with nicholas don
06:33remembered his youngest son as a little boy and the voice he heard now did not fit that memory when
06:39don reached out to feel how tall he was his hand went too low his family encouraged him to lift
06:45it
06:45higher the boy had grown while his father was unable to share those years with him don was beginning to
06:51meet the family they had become rather than only the family he remembered then came the question that
06:57revealed how differently he had experienced the missing time he asked how long have i been away
07:03according to his uncle simon manca don believed it had been about three months his relatives had to
07:09tell him it had been almost ten years until then the room had been absorbing the wonder of hearing him
07:15speak now they watched him absorb something far harder what had felt like a short absence had contained
07:21years of his children's lives don became deeply upset linda later explained that he felt as though he
07:27had abandoned them missing the years when the boys were growing up he had been gravely injured while serving his
07:33community his absence had never been a choice he wanted to know how the family had managed
07:38had linda been taken care of were the bills being paid how were his sons doing even while struggling
07:45to understand what had happened don was concerned about the people he had always wanted to protect
07:50his sons could finally answer him they told him about their lives their accomplishments and the
07:55people who had become important to them the older boys introduced girlfriends they shared stories
08:01including memories of hunting and tried to fill some of the enormous gap nick had the chance for a real
08:07conversation with his father don could hear that his sons were still close to their mother and to one
08:12another they had faced difficult years but they had come through them together the conversation
08:17continued for many hours reaching into the night it did not undo the injury or restore the lost years
08:24it gave them something they had been unable to count on time together in which they could speak
08:29and be understood they did not yet know how long this improvement would last the camera recorded the
08:35reunion but its deepest meaning belonged to the family they were talking to their husband and father
08:40again a week later they celebrated don's 44th birthday relatives gathered at the nursing home
08:47despite his blindness and the weakness that kept him in a wheelchair don threw a football with his sons
08:52a photograph from that birthday showed him surrounded by the boys linda would keep that portrait in
08:58her home the sons who had grown up during their father's illness were together beside him and this time
09:04he had been able to hear about their lives don never again sustained the same level of conversation as
09:10on that first remarkable day his communication fluctuated with periods of clearer response between quieter
09:17stretches later a fall at the nursing facility caused another head injury and complicated his progress
09:24in february 2006 don developed pneumonia and was taken to the hospital his family gathered around him once
09:32more on february 21st he passed away with linda and their four sons at his side he was 44. firefighters
09:40came to honor a colleague whose return to conversation had moved people far beyond buffalo for his wife and
09:46sons the loss was personal in ways no headline could hold now they had to say goodbye to the
09:52man they had briefly been able to speak with again linda later described that day in april as a gift
09:58whose meaning continued to unfold don had learned that his family was together and that the boys were
10:04finding their way his sons had been able to tell him about the people they were becoming two would
10:09serve as firefighters and two as police officers carrying their own responsibilities into the community
10:15their father had served
10:16you
