00:00I quit drinking a little over nine months ago and back then I thought I was
00:04alone you know I thought I was some very like special case that nobody else was
00:08going through and then after I put out the song I started getting you know
00:11messages from people who connected with it.
00:20I just started thinking you know I was like what's the most relatable thing is a
00:25real experience something you actually went through and I was like why not write
00:29about that I was young and fragile when the liquor too cold came as a friend but
00:41it left us of all and if we could come back to the very first sip clean up the
00:52wound that the booze bandaged. I moved to the US when I was 15 on my own from Peru I
01:01kind of just left everything everything behind around the same time I just kind
01:06of like started relying on alcohol because you know I didn't really have
01:09anybody I guess I'd clean up the one that the booze bandage it's kind of like I
01:13wish I would have known earlier that I should have just dealt with my feelings
01:16or certain things I was going through rather than just using alcohol as to
01:23cope with it.
01:23Two fits of whiskey start the night off
01:29I'd get drunk with the moon go to bed with the sun next morning the taste of
01:39familiar regret zip on the poison slow that's what you get.
01:48When I was getting towards the end of my drinking I was drinking two bottles of
01:55fireball a day pretty much just throughout the whole day it's pretty bad.
01:58It's less alcohol percentage in a whiskey bottle but it's still technically they
02:02call it whiskey so that's where that line came from.
02:05But the craving is worse than last night If I don't quit soon it'll claim me for life
02:19I'm scared to try one more time Cause when I relapse it feels like crying
02:30When you're pretty much doing everything drunk that kind of becomes normal and it's
02:37can be very intimidating to live a life where that's not part of it.
02:42You know you don't have the thing that made you confident or you don't have the
02:45thing that helped you talk to people or the thing that you know kind of made the
02:50bad feelings go away.
02:51I know that it can be relatable to other people and so it can be scary and
02:55intimidating to just get that that's the main thing that kind of stops free
02:58people from getting sober.
02:59There was a time when drinking felt like making love
03:07Now that woman wants more but I've had enough
03:13I'm weary and I'm a fool for falling in temptation
03:20It pulls all my strings and dilutes the hesitation
03:27When you first start drinking it's you know it's amazing especially when you're an alcoholic
03:32you know it's the first few years it's like you're just young your body can take it
03:36After a few years of like really abusing it it just you don't really get drunk anymore
03:41It's just kinda you just get numb and sad and so that's why that line goes you know like
03:47There was a time when drinking felt like making love
03:50Now the bottle wants more off of me but it doesn't feel the same anymore
03:55I don't trust the bottle or it's intentions for my life
04:04Wakes up the ghost that my father left behind
04:10And if I must return to my old deranged waist
04:17Get rid of the body before the snow goes to waste
04:24I love my dad I love my parents we're in good
04:27We have a good relationship but you know like not every parent's perfect you know
04:32Not everybody's born knowing how to be a parent and I feel like
04:35Everybody is going through that
04:37I don't think I know a single person that's had a perfect relationship with their parents
04:41I can finally feel like I'm like actually myself
04:45I don't just look in the mirror and just think that I'm being some version that's drunk
04:50You feel confident that all the things that you're doing you're doing sober
04:53So it's definitely the best decision I've ever made
04:56And I keep going for the rest of my life
05:01I always kind of sang a little bit like you know like everybody sings a karaoke and stuff like here
05:07and there
05:07But I didn't really start leaning into it and just like embracing my baritone voice up until like yeah
05:12Maybe two and a half three years ago that I was just like I'm just gonna lean all the way
05:17in to what
05:19My natural voice is
