😊Click to download the app to watch all episodes for free: https://reelslink.com/marketing/VAQvcf
📺Click ReelShort site link to watch 🔖https://www.reelshort.com/full-episodes/worth-the-chase-6aac8371968c52e4da007358
📢Notice: Alpha-Plot is an officially authorized publisher of ReelShort content.
power read on Worth the Chase — the plainest imbalance I've watched this month.
He's about to be famous. Money, a contract, a future with doors in it. She's the girl next door with a part-time job and a decision to make alone.
So when she keeps quiet, it isn't a fair trade. It's one person absorbing a cost because the other's life is worth more — and she believes that.
The show never corrects her. That's what makes it uncomfortable. It just lets you watch her shrink her own future to keep his intact.
When he finds out years later, he isn't angry. He's horrified at the arithmetic he never knew about.
✨ What worked:
- Nobody in the story calls it unfair. You do.
- Her decision is never presented as heroic.
✨ Bottom line: the most expensive thing in this show is an assumption.
Who was really being protected here?
— AP, plotting your next binge 🐺
#WorthTheChase, #PowerShift, #Athlete, #AllTooLate, #ReelShort
📺Click ReelShort site link to watch 🔖https://www.reelshort.com/full-episodes/worth-the-chase-6aac8371968c52e4da007358
📢Notice: Alpha-Plot is an officially authorized publisher of ReelShort content.
power read on Worth the Chase — the plainest imbalance I've watched this month.
He's about to be famous. Money, a contract, a future with doors in it. She's the girl next door with a part-time job and a decision to make alone.
So when she keeps quiet, it isn't a fair trade. It's one person absorbing a cost because the other's life is worth more — and she believes that.
The show never corrects her. That's what makes it uncomfortable. It just lets you watch her shrink her own future to keep his intact.
When he finds out years later, he isn't angry. He's horrified at the arithmetic he never knew about.
✨ What worked:
- Nobody in the story calls it unfair. You do.
- Her decision is never presented as heroic.
✨ Bottom line: the most expensive thing in this show is an assumption.
Who was really being protected here?
— AP, plotting your next binge 🐺
#WorthTheChase, #PowerShift, #Athlete, #AllTooLate, #ReelShort
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:05I
00:00:06What the hell? I
00:00:08Thought you liked me
00:00:09But you wanted this you thought wrong. I could never be with a loser like you
00:00:15Bullshit. I have known you since we were seven. I know when you're lying. You don't know me. I
00:00:21Want to be with a real star. That's that's Jonah
00:00:25You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is
00:00:32I
00:00:32Can see you know, I thought you cared about me
00:00:36I guess I had your back room
00:00:39I
00:00:42Didn't think you had that kind of spice in your collards. Yeah, where were we?
00:00:49Oh, what the fuck? Wait a minute. Are the rumors true? Are you actually pregnant?
00:00:56Oh
00:00:58You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me
00:01:00You trashy psycho bitch
00:01:03Carson's dodged a bomb
00:01:09That day
00:01:11My final act of love for my best friend
00:01:14Was convincing him I hated him
00:01:17So he'd never come looking for me again
00:01:20But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be
00:01:31Oh
00:01:31Let me in please
00:01:33Carson
00:01:34Drunk on a Monday night
00:01:37God
00:01:38Seriously, how do you want?
00:01:51Yeah
00:01:52What the hell?
00:01:54Put that away
00:01:55I don't want to see my best friends
00:01:57You know
00:01:58What?
00:01:59Carson?
00:02:00Baby?
00:02:01Where are you?
00:02:03Call the horse, call the horse
00:02:04Yeah
00:02:05No, it's okay
00:02:06No, don't
00:02:06Why are you invoking the secret life or death code word on your girlfriend?
00:02:14You know that's actually for like, life or death situations
00:02:17Ex-girlfriend and this is serious, we're going to strip your opinion that you freaking ambushed on me
00:02:22You know how I get when we don't fuck
00:02:29Open this door now, do not keep your girlfriend waiting
00:02:51I swear to god, I will wake everyone in this entire fucking building up
00:03:02Oh
00:03:05Hi Lily
00:03:07My boyfriend better not be in your cave, you nasty little troll
00:03:11I could have sworn I heard Carson's voice in here
00:03:15He's, he's oral, over at his house
00:03:20Are you having a stroke?
00:03:22Why so nervous, Collins?
00:03:24Could it be that you...
00:03:27Um, uh, I was talking to him on FaceTime
00:03:31And it was on speakerphone, that's probably why you heard him
00:03:35He was saying how he can't wait to have the se- have sex
00:03:41Have sex with you
00:03:44Glad you know your place, bitch
00:03:49I just hope you know that he's doing charity work by being friends with you
00:03:56You might just be the worst liar I've ever had the privilege of relying on
00:04:01Or under, I mean
00:04:03Get out, get out, get out
00:04:07Uh, you know, I still don't know why you...
00:04:13Since when have I, your best friend of a million years ever made you nervous
00:04:17You barely made it through that
00:04:22Hey!
00:04:23That's my...
00:04:23I put my...
00:04:24I put my belt on that
00:04:26I...
00:04:27I...
00:04:27Just...
00:04:28Put this on
00:04:35I got this
00:04:37Damn, he looks hot in those
00:04:41Well, it, uh, it worked, didn't it?
00:04:44You're welcome
00:04:45Yes, you're amazing
00:04:46I'm Tom
00:04:52Oh, God, I...
00:04:57I can't believe I just saw my first penis
00:05:00It was yours
00:05:04Thoughts?
00:05:05Because personally, I enjoyed what I saw down in your penis
00:05:09Carson, did you...
00:05:10Did you really just say that?
00:05:12Ryan
00:05:14Come on
00:05:15Answer
00:05:16Or...
00:05:17Or you can just tell me to leave
00:05:18But you're not exactly doing that either
00:05:21It...
00:05:21It's...
00:05:23It's...
00:05:23Leave
00:05:24And you need to...
00:05:25Nice
00:05:28It's...
00:05:28Nice
00:05:29And you need to leave
00:05:30So you think it's nice
00:05:33Ryan Collins, that is...
00:05:35Bold
00:05:35You just admitted that my penis is nice
00:05:38Shut up
00:05:41Just to be clear
00:05:43You want me to leave
00:05:45Even though you think
00:05:46That I am being very nice
00:05:50Stop
00:05:51Oh, God
00:06:00Let's go
00:06:00And you have to do
00:06:19To be honest
00:06:21And you've got to leave
00:06:21And you can't eat
00:06:21You don't want to stay
00:06:21They are all around
00:06:21And you want to stay
00:06:21This is a good thing
00:06:23Please.
00:06:24Please.
00:06:25Of course, we...
00:06:27We can't.
00:06:29Why not?
00:06:30Because you're a little drunk and you're hiding
00:06:34from your evil, psycho baby, ex-girlfriend,
00:06:37and you're a big football star and I'm just your dorky best friend
00:06:40and there's no way that you seriously want me.
00:06:42I like you.
00:06:44Gons.
00:06:46I'm very serious about how much I like you.
00:06:49Have you ever wondered what it would feel like if...
00:06:53there was something more?
00:06:56Only every day since I was seven.
00:06:59I've even thought about him being my first.
00:07:02But I never thought it could actually happen.
00:07:05Maybe.
00:07:18Maybe.
00:07:20Holy shit, Gons.
00:07:23I can't believe you've been hiding this from me.
00:07:38I've never done this before.
00:07:40I know.
00:07:44I promise I'll take care of you.
00:07:46I told you that I'm not that type
00:07:49I need to do my life somewhere
00:07:56I'm making up for one more chance
00:07:58I know you gotta tear it away
00:08:01I know you gotta tear it away
00:08:01I know you made me the same
00:08:02Keep the gist and break your space
00:08:05I'm just waiting in your place
00:08:06Yeah...
00:08:12Did I really just lose my virginity to my best friend?
00:08:21How'd you run to practice?
00:08:22Come find me on the field later tonight?
00:08:30I've loved Carson as long as I can remember.
00:08:35Does last night mean he feels the same?
00:08:38After the semester, he leaves for the most elite training camp.
00:08:42If you want something more, he's probably gonna ask now.
00:08:58So... about last night?
00:09:00Oh God. Does he regret it?
00:09:03Uh, yeah. About last night.
00:09:06Look, if... if you think it was a mistake...
00:09:09A mistake?
00:09:12Collins, you can never be a mistake.
00:09:13Well, you were... you were really drunk, and it's probably obvious that I've...
00:09:18Liked you forever, and I just didn't know if you want to be more than us.
00:09:25What did you just say?
00:09:27I said I want to be more than friends.
00:09:30I like you.
00:09:32Collins.
00:09:33For real.
00:09:34I like you too, Cars.
00:09:37I just...
00:09:38What if this changes things between us?
00:09:41I don't want to lose my best friend.
00:09:45Well...
00:09:45Well, we've still got a few months since I leave.
00:09:48Okay?
00:09:50We can take it slow.
00:10:07I've wanted him since forever, and now he's finally mine.
00:10:14So what? Your period's three weeks late, and you've been throwing up every day.
00:10:18That doesn't mean jack squat.
00:10:24Positive.
00:10:29How am I supposed to tell my best friend that I'm pregnant with his baby?
00:10:34I don't know.
00:10:35But you have to, right? He's leaving soon.
00:10:46I don't know.
00:10:51Dude.
00:10:53It's so obvious that you're with for Ryan.
00:10:55Since the moment that we were kids on a playground, man.
00:10:59You know, I guess I just never really thought that you'd feel the same way about a dumb jock.
00:11:04Yeah.
00:11:07I know I have to leave sooner than I thought, but am I going away party?
00:11:11I'm gonna finally ask her.
00:11:13She needs to know how bad I want this.
00:11:24Watch it, Argo.
00:11:25You can't even walk straight.
00:11:31No.
00:11:33Ow!
00:11:34Ow!
00:11:38Oh my god.
00:11:40Ryan the troll might actually be pregnant?
00:11:43Aw, but who's gonna guard the bridge?
00:11:46Pregnant?
00:11:47Someone actually put their dick in that?
00:11:49Did he have to wear a blindfold or a paper bag?
00:11:53Give that back.
00:11:54Give that back.
00:11:54I will.
00:11:55When you tell me who your baby daddy is.
00:11:57I can't tell her the baby's Carson's.
00:12:00Her ex?
00:12:01She would kill me.
00:12:05Oh my god.
00:12:07You don't even remember?
00:12:08You're such a slut.
00:12:09Ew.
00:12:11I'm gonna call you...
00:12:12Ghana Ryan.
00:12:15Maybe you should get tested for STD's dress.
00:12:18That's one test you'll actually pass.
00:12:23For somebody who dresses like a fugly Amish bitch, but probably has the body count of a stripper?
00:12:28I've got some girls.
00:12:30Expose her, Lily.
00:12:31Let's show everyone what Ryan's got for sale.
00:12:40Not much.
00:12:42Oh, but don't worry.
00:12:43Maybe this little guy can make you some cash.
00:12:47Ew.
00:12:47So trashy.
00:12:50Aw, are you crying?
00:12:52Is it cause your bestie Carson isn't here to save you?
00:12:55Well, newsflash.
00:12:56He's moving across the country to be an NFL star.
00:13:00What?
00:13:00No.
00:13:01No, he's staying right here in North Cardiff.
00:13:04Oh.
00:13:05You don't know.
00:13:06He's training with the NFL champions.
00:13:08He's gonna be gone the whole fall semester and the whole summer.
00:13:13I bet he's so excited to finally get away from this whale.
00:13:15She just sucks up all the air.
00:13:17Daddy.
00:13:18The whole summer?
00:13:20Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat team moms dragging them down.
00:13:24Not like you'd even stand a chance.
00:13:26Yeah, have you seen NFL wags?
00:13:28Perfect tits, perfect tents.
00:13:31You're already bloating.
00:13:32Oh my god, imagine the flab and stretch marks nine months from now.
00:13:37Just drop out, Ryan.
00:13:41That was so close.
00:13:43Carson, you're going off to practice with NFL players and here I am.
00:13:54Love is bright.
00:13:55If I distract Carson with this baby, I'll stop him from becoming the all-star he's capable of being.
00:14:02I'll destroy everything he's ever worked for.
00:14:08Your father can never find out about you.
00:14:13He needs to leave and never come back.
00:14:17Woo!
00:14:18Come on!
00:14:20Let's go!
00:14:22To Carson!
00:14:26The youngest player in history to travel an NFL team.
00:14:30Yeah.
00:14:31Yeah.
00:14:32Your career is like set, man.
00:14:34How does it feel?
00:14:35Speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed.
00:14:38All right?
00:14:39All right?
00:14:40All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right?
00:14:41Woo!
00:14:42Of course, I wouldn't be here without my team.
00:14:45Woo!
00:14:46Woo!
00:14:47But I also owe this win to my best friend, Ryan Collins.
00:14:53Yes.
00:14:53You've stood by my side since all you kids.
00:14:56Woo!
00:14:56For every win, every loss, every stupid dream I've ever had.
00:15:05Carson!
00:15:07Carson!
00:15:09What happened?
00:15:11Talk to me.
00:15:12Sleep.
00:15:15I freakin' have one job.
00:15:17To throw the ball, and I blew it.
00:15:22Everybody was counting on me and I blew it.
00:15:25I blew it because I'm an idiot.
00:15:27No.
00:15:28Hey, breathe, Carson.
00:15:30Breathe.
00:15:31Hey.
00:15:32You're the youngest captain in our school's history.
00:15:36You are perfect.
00:15:3899% of the time.
00:15:42On and off.
00:15:44Yeah.
00:15:49You're not embarrassed.
00:15:52Everybody's going to bore me.
00:15:53I blew the homecoming game.
00:15:55You're my best friend, stupid.
00:15:57I mean, yeah, sure, you're going to make it to the NFL one day.
00:16:00But I'd still be best friends with you, even if you were the water boy.
00:16:14That night, you said we were best friends.
00:16:19Ryan, I want to be so much more than that.
00:16:22There's no doubt.
00:16:24No question in my mind.
00:16:27Well, except for one.
00:16:30Oh, shit.
00:16:35Will you marry me, Ryan Collins?
00:16:40Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat teen moms dragging them down.
00:16:45I'm so sorry, Carson.
00:16:48You're my best friend.
00:16:50That's why I'm doing this.
00:17:02Ryan, what the hell?
00:17:04I thought you liked me.
00:17:06I thought you wanted this.
00:17:08You thought wrong.
00:17:09I could never be with a loser like you.
00:17:11That's bullshit.
00:17:13I've known you since we were seven.
00:17:15I know when you're lying.
00:17:16You don't know me.
00:17:18I want to be with a real star.
00:17:20That's Jonah.
00:17:22You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is.
00:17:28I can see that.
00:17:30You know, I thought you cared about me.
00:17:33I guess I had your back.
00:17:38I didn't think you had that kind of spice in you, Collins.
00:17:41Nah.
00:17:43Where were we?
00:17:45Whoa!
00:17:46Whoa!
00:17:47What the fuck?
00:17:48Wait a minute.
00:17:50Are the rumors true?
00:17:51Are you actually pregnant?
00:17:54Oh, you're trying to fuck me and baby trap me.
00:17:57You trashy, psycho bitch.
00:18:00Carson's dodged a bomb.
00:18:06That day, my final act of love for my best friend was convincing him I hated him, so he'd never
00:18:16come looking for me again.
00:18:17But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be.
00:18:48Carson, Carson!
00:18:50You led your team to their first NCAA championship in 50 years, and now every college in the nation wants
00:18:56you on their team.
00:18:57Where are you going?
00:18:59Georgia?
00:18:59Oregon?
00:19:00Boise?
00:19:01Texas?
00:19:02Ryan?
00:19:04Ryan, you need to come look at this!
00:19:06Please, hold.
00:19:07Okay.
00:19:09Oh, you need a diaper.
00:19:19Hey!
00:19:21I know you and Carson didn't leave on the best of terms, but isn't it good for Charlie to see
00:19:25your dad?
00:19:25For all?
00:19:26She'll know.
00:19:27I found her dad at a random sperm bank.
00:19:30Got it?
00:19:31Are you sure you're ready for school on Monday?
00:19:33You haven't slept in like four months.
00:19:35I can't give Charlie the life she deserves, working a minimum wage job.
00:19:39I need to get my pre-med degree.
00:19:41And you're not afraid of seeing you-know-who?
00:19:43Carson?
00:19:45No, no way.
00:19:47It's my guts.
00:19:48He's gotten an offer from every single Big Ten school for his senior season.
00:19:53There's no way that he'd come back to lame-ass middle of nowhere in North Cardiff.
00:19:58Actually, I'll be going back to my roots.
00:20:01I'll be spending my senior season at the University of North Cardiff.
00:20:11Ryan, put that away.
00:20:12Your baby is fine.
00:20:14You won't be.
00:20:15You make me drink alone tonight.
00:20:17Shut up!
00:20:20You're going to be drinking alone regardless.
00:20:23Babies can't drink tequila, remember?
00:20:25Come on, you're still a milk.
00:20:26And you haven't gone out since Charlie was born, so you have to have fun with me.
00:20:30Girls.
00:20:31Okay, fine.
00:20:32I'll stay.
00:20:33You don't need to watch over your drunk ass.
00:20:37Isn't there supposed to be a weight limit at frat parties?
00:20:42Why don't you go home and breastfeed your little brat?
00:20:45She might shed a few pounds.
00:20:47I see you still don't have any hobbies, Lily.
00:20:49Oh, like you do?
00:20:50Still no dad in the picture, I'm guessing.
00:20:53He dodged a bullet.
00:20:54You're really pudgy.
00:20:56You look like my mom before she started her diet.
00:20:59Leave her alone.
00:20:59You know, I heard the most interesting rumor today.
00:21:03I heard that someone very important is transferring back for his senior year.
00:21:08In fact, I think he's here now.
00:21:12Hope you don't embarrass yourself, Mama.
00:21:16Who's here?
00:21:43Oh, my God.
00:21:45Freddy Krueger.
00:21:47I was going to make fun of your saggy ass breasts, but this is so much grosser.
00:21:51Let go of my skirt.
00:21:53Or why?
00:21:54Hey, everyone.
00:21:56Who wants to see Ryan's awesome new party trip?
00:22:00No.
00:22:03Who wants to see a human cow get milk?
00:22:12Oh, my God.
00:22:14She's actually leaking milk.
00:22:16Milk!
00:22:16Gross!
00:22:17Who wants to see Ryan's nasty-ass cow trick again?
00:22:21Milk that cow!
00:22:23Milk that cow!
00:22:24Milk that cow!
00:22:26Milk that cow!
00:22:35Oh, my God.
00:22:36What's going on?
00:22:37Carson, he can't find out I had his child like this.
00:22:41Collins?
00:22:50Is that what I think it is?
00:23:00Ryan, what the hell?
00:23:02I thought you liked me.
00:23:04But you wanted this.
00:23:05You thought wrong.
00:23:06I could never be with a loser like you.
00:23:09That's bullshit.
00:23:10I've known you since we were seven.
00:23:13I know when you're lying.
00:23:14You don't know me.
00:23:15I want to be with a real star.
00:23:18That's Jonah.
00:23:20You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is.
00:23:26I can see that.
00:23:28You know, I thought you cared about me.
00:23:31I guess I had your background.
00:23:34Wow.
00:23:36I didn't think you had that kind of spice in you, Collins.
00:23:39Now, where were we?
00:23:42Whoa!
00:23:44Whoa, what the fuck?
00:23:46Wait a minute.
00:23:47Are the rumors true?
00:23:49Are you actually pregnant?
00:23:52You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me.
00:23:55You trashy, psycho bitch.
00:23:58Carson's dodged a bomb.
00:24:04That day, my final act of love for my best friend was convincing him I hated him.
00:24:12So he'd never come looking for me again.
00:24:15But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be.
00:24:25Collins, let me in, please.
00:24:27Carson?
00:24:28Drunk on a Monday night?
00:24:31Oh, my God.
00:24:33Seriously, what do you want?
00:24:46What?
00:24:47What the hell?
00:24:48Put that away.
00:24:50I don't want to see my best friends if you know what.
00:24:53Carson, baby, where are you?
00:24:57Call me, horse.
00:24:58Call me, horse.
00:24:58Yeah.
00:24:59No, okay.
00:25:00Don't.
00:25:04Why are you invoking the secret life-or-death code word on your girlfriend?
00:25:09You know, that's actually for, like, life-or-death situations.
00:25:12Ex-girlfriend.
00:25:13And this is serious.
00:25:14We're going to strip your apartment.
00:25:15Then she freaking ambushed me.
00:25:17You know how I get when we don't fuck.
00:25:23Open this door now.
00:25:25Do not keep your girlfriend waiting.
00:25:27I swear to God, I will wake everyone in this entire fucking building up.
00:26:02My boyfriend better not be in your cave, you nasty little troll.
00:26:06I could have sworn I heard Carson's voice in here.
00:26:09Uh, he's...
00:26:10He's oral.
00:26:11Oh, over.
00:26:13Over at his house.
00:26:15Are you having a stroke?
00:26:15Why so nervous, Conce?
00:26:18Could it be that you...
00:26:21Um, uh...
00:26:23I was talking to him on FaceTime.
00:26:26And it was on speakerphone.
00:26:27That's probably why you heard him.
00:26:30He was saying how he can't wait to have sex with you.
00:26:39I'm glad you know your place, bitch.
00:26:44I just hope you know that he's doing charity work by being friends with you.
00:26:51You might just be the worst liar I've ever had the privilege of going on or under, maybe.
00:26:57Get out!
00:26:58Get out!
00:26:59Get out!
00:27:05You know, I still don't know why you...
00:27:07Since when have I, your best friend of a million years, ever made you nervous?
00:27:11You barely made it through that.
00:27:16Hey!
00:27:17That's my...
00:27:18I put my...
00:27:19I put my doll on that!
00:27:21I...
00:27:22I...
00:27:22Put this on!
00:27:30Damn, I've gotten this.
00:27:32Damn, he looks hot in those.
00:27:36Well, it, uh...
00:27:37It worked, didn't it?
00:27:39You're welcome.
00:27:40Yes, you're amazing.
00:27:41I'm Tom.
00:27:50Oh, God, I...
00:27:51I can't believe it just...
00:27:53I saw my first penis.
00:27:55It was yours.
00:27:58Thoughts?
00:28:00Because personally, I enjoyed what I saw down in your pain.
00:28:03Carson, did you...
00:28:05Did you really just say that?
00:28:08Ryan...
00:28:08Come on, answer.
00:28:11Or you can just tell me to leave, but you're not exactly doing that either.
00:28:16It's...
00:28:17It's...
00:28:18Leave.
00:28:18You need tonight.
00:28:22It's...
00:28:23Nice.
00:28:23And you need to leave.
00:28:25So you think it's nice.
00:28:27Ryan Collins, that is bold.
00:28:30You just admitted that my penis is nice.
00:28:32Shut up.
00:28:35So, just to be clear,
00:28:38you want me to leave
00:28:39even though you think that I have been very nice.
00:28:45Oh, God.
00:28:49Oh, God.
00:28:56Oh, God.
00:28:57Oh, God.
00:29:01Oh, God.
00:29:02Oh, God.
00:29:03Oh, God.
00:29:03Oh, God.
00:29:04Oh, God.
00:29:04Oh, God.
00:29:04Oh, God.
00:29:05Oh, God.
00:29:05Oh, God.
00:29:06Oh, God.
00:29:08Oh, God.
00:29:17Please.
00:29:19Please.
00:29:20Please.
00:29:20Carson, we...
00:29:22We can't.
00:29:23Why not?
00:29:24Because you're a little drunk and you're hiding from your evil, psycho baby, ex-girlfriend
00:29:31and you're a big football star and I'm just your dorky best friend and there's no way
00:29:35that you seriously want me.
00:29:37I like you.
00:29:38Gons.
00:29:40I'm very serious about how much I like you.
00:29:43I think you ever wondered what it would feel like if there was something more?
00:29:50Only every day since I was seven.
00:29:53I've even thought about him being my first.
00:29:56But I never thought it could actually happen.
00:29:59Maybe.
00:30:15I don't know.
00:30:15Oh my shit, Alex.
00:30:17I can't believe you've been hiding this from me.
00:30:32I've never done this before.
00:30:35I know.
00:30:39I promise I'll take care of you.
00:31:06Did I really just lose my virginity to my best friend?
00:31:15How'd you run to practice?
00:31:17Come find me on the field later tonight?
00:31:25I've loved Carson as long as I can remember.
00:31:30Does last night mean he feels the same?
00:31:32After the semester, he leaves for the most elite training camp.
00:31:36If he wants something more, he's probably gonna ask now.
00:31:53So... about last night?
00:31:55Oh God. Does he regret it?
00:31:58Uh, yeah. About last night.
00:32:01Look, if... if you think it was a mistake...
00:32:04A mistake?
00:32:06Oh, so you can never be a mistake.
00:32:08Well, you were... you were really drunk and it's probably obvious that I've...
00:32:12Liked you forever and I just...
00:32:15I didn't know if you wanted to be more than...
00:32:16I didn't know if you wanted to be more than...
00:32:20What didn't you just say?
00:32:22I said I want to be more than friends.
00:32:25I like you.
00:32:27Cause...
00:32:27For real.
00:32:28I...
00:32:29I...
00:32:30I like you too, Carson.
00:32:31I just...
00:32:33What if this changes things between us?
00:32:36I don't want to lose my best friend.
00:32:39Well...
00:32:39Look, we've still got a few months since I leave.
00:32:43Okay?
00:32:44We can take a stalk.
00:33:02I've wanted him since forever.
00:33:04And now he's finally mine.
00:33:08So what, your period three weeks late when you've been throwing up every day?
00:33:13That doesn't mean Jack squat.
00:33:19Positive.
00:33:23How am I supposed to tell my best friend that I'm pregnant with his baby?
00:33:29I don't know.
00:33:30But you have to, right?
00:33:31He's leaving soon.
00:33:46Dude.
00:33:47It's so obvious that you're whipped for Ryan.
00:33:50Since the moment that we were kids on a playground, man.
00:33:53You know, I guess I just never really thought that she'd feel the same way about a dumb jock.
00:33:59Fuck yeah.
00:34:02I know I have to leave sooner than I thought, but...
00:34:04Am I going away party?
00:34:05I'm gonna finally ask her.
00:34:08She needs to know how bad I want this.
00:34:18Watch it, Argo.
00:34:19Ugh, you can't even walk straight.
00:34:26No.
00:34:27Ow!
00:34:32Oh my god.
00:34:35Ryan the troll might actually be pregnant?
00:34:38Aw, but who's gonna guard the bridge?
00:34:40Pregnant?
00:34:41Someone actually put their dick in that?
00:34:43Did he have to wear a blindfold or a paper bag?
00:34:47Give that back!
00:34:49Give that back!
00:34:49I will!
00:34:49When you tell me who your baby daddy is.
00:34:52I can't tell her the baby's Carson's.
00:34:54Her ex?
00:34:56She would kill me.
00:35:00Oh my god!
00:35:01You don't even remember?
00:35:03You're such a slut!
00:35:04Ew!
00:35:06I'm gonna call you...
00:35:07Ghana Ryan.
00:35:09Maybe you should get tested for STDs, Trish.
00:35:13That's one test you'll actually pass.
00:35:17For somebody who dresses like a fugly Amish bitch,
00:35:20but probably has the body count of a stripper?
00:35:22You've got some nerve.
00:35:24Expose her, Lily.
00:35:25Let's show everyone what Ryan's got for sale.
00:35:35Not much.
00:35:36Oh, but don't worry.
00:35:38Maybe this little guy can make you some cash.
00:35:41Ew!
00:35:42So trashy.
00:35:44Aw, are you crying?
00:35:46Is it cause your bestie Carson isn't here to save you?
00:35:49Well, newsflash.
00:35:51He's moving across the country to be an NFL star.
00:35:54What the...
00:35:55No!
00:35:56He's staying right here in North Cardiff.
00:35:59Oh.
00:36:00You don't know.
00:36:01He's training with the NFL champions.
00:36:03He's gonna be gone the whole fall semester and the whole summer.
00:36:07I bet he's so excited to finally get away from this whale.
00:36:10She just sucks up all the air.
00:36:11Daddy.
00:36:14Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat, teen moms driving them down.
00:36:19Not like he'd even stand a chance.
00:36:21Yeah. Have you seen NFL wags?
00:36:23Perfect tits, perfect tents.
00:36:25You're already bloating.
00:36:26Oh my god, imagine the flab and stretch marks nine months from now.
00:36:32Just drop out, Ryan.
00:36:36That was so close.
00:36:38Carson, you're going off to practice with NFL players and here I am.
00:36:44No!
00:36:48Love is right.
00:36:50If I distract Carson with this baby, I'll stop him from becoming the all-star he's capable of being.
00:36:56I'll destroy everything he's ever worked for.
00:37:03Your father can never find out about you.
00:37:08He needs to leave and never come back.
00:37:12Woo!
00:37:13Come on!
00:37:14Go!
00:37:17To Carson!
00:37:21The youngest player in history to travel NFL team.
00:37:25Yeah.
00:37:27Your career is like set, man.
00:37:29How does it feel?
00:37:30Speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed.
00:37:33All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
00:37:36Of course, I wouldn't be here without my team.
00:37:39Woo!
00:37:40But I also owe this win to my best friend.
00:37:45Ryan Collins.
00:37:47You've stood all my sides into your jeans.
00:37:50For every win,
00:37:52every loss,
00:37:55every stupid dream I've ever had.
00:37:59Carson.
00:38:02Carson.
00:38:03What happens?
00:38:05What happens?
00:38:05Talk to me.
00:38:07Sleep.
00:38:10I freaking have one job.
00:38:12To throw the ball.
00:38:14And I blew it.
00:38:17Everybody's counting on me and I blew it.
00:38:19I blew it because I'm an idiot.
00:38:22No, hey, breathe, Carson.
00:38:25Breathe, okay?
00:38:27You're the youngest captain in our school's history.
00:38:30You are perfect.
00:38:3399% of the time.
00:38:35On and off the field.
00:38:44You're not embarrassed?
00:38:46Everybody's gonna ignore me.
00:38:48I blew the homecoming game.
00:38:49You're my best friend, stupid.
00:38:52I mean, yeah, sure, you're gonna make it to the NFL one day,
00:38:55but I'd still be best friends with you,
00:38:58even if you were the water boy.
00:39:08That night,
00:39:10you said we were best friends.
00:39:13But Ryan, I want to be so much more than that.
00:39:16There's no doubt.
00:39:18No question in my mind.
00:39:21Well,
00:39:23except for one.
00:39:25Oh, my.
00:39:29Will you marry me, Ryan Collins?
00:39:35Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat,
00:39:38team moms driving them down.
00:39:40I'm so sorry, Carson.
00:39:42You're my best friend.
00:39:44That's why I'm doing this.
00:39:56Ryan, what the hell?
00:39:59I thought you liked me.
00:40:01I thought you wanted this.
00:40:02You thought wrong.
00:40:03I could never be with a loser like you.
00:40:05That's bullshit.
00:40:07I've known you since we were seven.
00:40:09I know when you're lying.
00:40:11You don't know me.
00:40:12I want to be with a real star.
00:40:15That's, that's Jonah.
00:40:17You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is.
00:40:23I can see that.
00:40:24You know, I thought you cared about me.
00:40:27I guess I had your background.
00:40:31Wow.
00:40:33I didn't think you had that kind of spice in you, Collins.
00:40:36Nah.
00:40:37Where were we?
00:40:39Whoa!
00:40:40Whoa, what the fuck?
00:40:43Wait a minute.
00:40:44Are the rumors true?
00:40:45Are you actually pregnant?
00:40:49You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me.
00:40:52You trashy, psycho bitch.
00:40:54Carson's dodged a bomb.
00:41:01That day, my final act of love for my best friend was convincing him I hated him.
00:41:09So he'd never come looking for me again.
00:41:12But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be.
00:41:33I don't know.
00:41:35I don't know.
00:41:39I don't know.
00:41:42I don't know.
00:41:43I don't know.
00:41:44Carson!
00:41:45You led your team to their first NCAA championship in 50 years, and now every college in the nation
00:41:50wants you on their team.
00:41:52Where are you going?
00:41:53Georgia?
00:41:54Oregon?
00:41:55Boise?
00:41:55Texas?
00:41:57Ryan?
00:41:59Ryan, you need to come look at this!
00:42:00Please, hold.
00:42:02Okay.
00:42:04Ugh, you need a diaper.
00:42:14Hey!
00:42:15I know you and Carson didn't leave on the best of terms, but isn't it good for Charlie to see
00:42:19your dad?
00:42:20For all?
00:42:20She'll know.
00:42:22I found her dad at a random sperm bank.
00:42:25Got it?
00:42:26Are you sure you're ready for school on Monday?
00:42:28You haven't slept in like four months.
00:42:29I can't give Charlie the life she deserves working a minimum wage job.
00:42:33I need to get my pre-med degree.
00:42:35And you're not afraid of seeing you know who?
00:42:37Carson?
00:42:40No.
00:42:40No way.
00:42:41It's my guts.
00:42:43He's gotten an offer from every single Big Ten school for his senior season.
00:42:47And there's no way that he'd come back to lame ass middle of nowhere in North Cardiff.
00:42:53Actually, I'll be going back to my roots.
00:42:56I'll be spending my senior season at the University of North Cardiff.
00:43:06I need to put that away.
00:43:07Your baby is fine.
00:43:08You won't be if you make me drink alone tonight.
00:43:11Oh, shut up!
00:43:14You're going to be drinking alone regardless.
00:43:17Babies can't drink tequila, remember?
00:43:20Come on, you're still a milk.
00:43:21And you haven't gone out since Charlie was born, so you have to have fun with me.
00:43:24Where else?
00:43:26Okay, fine.
00:43:27I'll stay.
00:43:28You only need to watch over your drunk ass.
00:43:31Isn't there supposed to be a weight limit at frat parties?
00:43:36Why don't you go home and breastfeed your little brat?
00:43:40She might shed a few pounds.
00:43:41I see you still don't have any hobbies, Lily.
00:43:43Oh, like you do?
00:43:45Still no dad in the picture, I'm guessing.
00:43:47He dodged a bullet.
00:43:49You're really pudgy.
00:43:50You looked like my mom before she started her diet.
00:43:53Leave her alone.
00:43:55You know, I heard the most interesting rumor today.
00:43:58I heard that someone very important is transferring back for his senior year.
00:44:02In fact, I think he's here now.
00:44:07Hope you don't embarrass yourself, Mama.
00:44:10Who's here?
00:44:35What are you doing?
00:44:36Hey!
00:44:38Oh my god!
00:44:40Freddy Krueger!
00:44:41I was going to make fun of your saggy-ass breasts, but this is so much grosser!
00:44:46Let go of my skirt!
00:44:47Or what?
00:44:48But hey everyone, who wants to see Ryan's awesome new party train?
00:44:57Who wants to see a human cow get milked?
00:45:06Oh my gosh, she's actually leaking milk!
00:45:11Gross! Who wants to see Ryan's nasty ass cow drink again?
00:45:17Milk back cow! Milk back cow! Milk back cow! Milk back cow!
00:45:30Oh my god, Carson, he can't find out I had his child like this.
00:45:35Collins?
00:45:44Is that what I think it is?
00:45:54Ryan, what the hell?
00:45:56I thought you liked me.
00:45:58I thought you wanted this.
00:46:00You thought wrong.
00:46:01I could never be with a loser like you.
00:46:03That's bullshit.
00:46:05I've known you since we were seven.
00:46:07I know when you're lying.
00:46:08You don't know me.
00:46:10I want to be with a real star.
00:46:12That's, that's Jonah.
00:46:14You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is.
00:46:21I can see that.
00:46:22You know, I thought you cared about me.
00:46:25I guess I had your back room.
00:46:28Wow.
00:46:31I didn't think you had that kind of spice in you, Collins.
00:46:34Nah.
00:46:35Where were we?
00:46:37Whoa!
00:46:38Whoa, what the fuck?
00:46:40Wait a minute.
00:46:42Are the rumors true?
00:46:43Are you actually pregnant?
00:46:46Ugh.
00:46:47You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me.
00:46:49You trashy, psycho bitch.
00:46:52Carson's dodged a bomb.
00:46:58That day, my final act of love for my best friend was convincing him I hated him.
00:47:07So he'd never come looking for me again.
00:47:10But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be.
00:47:20What?
00:47:20Collins, let me in, please.
00:47:22Carson?
00:47:23Drunk?
00:47:24On a Monday night?
00:47:26God.
00:47:27Seriously.
00:47:28What do you want?
00:47:41What the hell?
00:47:42Let's put that away.
00:47:44I don't want to see my best friend's funeral.
00:47:47What?
00:47:48Carson?
00:47:49Baby?
00:47:50Where are you?
00:47:51Tell me who's got my horse.
00:47:54Don't.
00:47:54Okay.
00:47:55Don't.
00:47:59Why are you invoking the secret life or death code word on your girlfriend?
00:48:03You know, that's actually for, like, life or death situations.
00:48:06Ex-girlfriend is serious.
00:48:08We're going to strip your apartment and then she freaking ambushed on me.
00:48:11You know how I get when we don't fuck.
00:48:18Open this door now.
00:48:19Do not keep your girlfriend waiting.
00:48:22Oh.
00:48:24Oh.
00:48:27Are you harsh?
00:48:32You grinding on me is nothing.
00:48:34Grinding?
00:48:36Who's grinding?
00:48:41Can you get us?
00:48:42Go away, please.
00:48:44Open the door now!
00:48:45Or I swear to God I will wake everyone in this entire fucking building up!
00:48:52Hmm.
00:48:54Hi, Lily.
00:48:56My boyfriend better not be in your cave, you nasty little troll.
00:49:00I could have sworn I heard Carson's voice in here.
00:49:03Uh, he's...
00:49:05He's oral...
00:49:07Over...
00:49:07Over at his house.
00:49:09Are you having a stroke?
00:49:11Why so nervous, Kongs?
00:49:13Could it be that you...
00:49:16Um, uh...
00:49:17I was talking to him on FaceTime.
00:49:20And it was on speakerphone.
00:49:22That's probably why you heard him.
00:49:24He was saying how he can't wait to have sex...
00:49:30Have sex with you.
00:49:33Glad you know your place, bitch.
00:49:38I just hope you know that he's doing charity work by being friends with you.
00:49:45You might just be the worst liar I've ever had the privilege of relying on.
00:49:50Or under, I mean.
00:49:52Get out! Get out! Get out!
00:49:56Ugh.
00:50:00You know, I still don't know why you...
00:50:01Since when have I, your best friend of a million years, ever made you nervous?
00:50:06You barely made it through that.
00:50:08Uh...
00:50:11Hey!
00:50:12That's my...
00:50:12I put my...
00:50:13I put my...
00:50:13I put my help on that!
00:50:15I...
00:50:16I...
00:50:16I...
00:50:17Put this on!
00:50:24Yeah, I'm gonna get on this.
00:50:26Tim, he looks hot in those.
00:50:30Well, uh...
00:50:31It worked!
00:50:32Didn't it?
00:50:33You're welcome.
00:50:34Yes, you're amazing.
00:50:35You're amazing.
00:50:36Up top.
00:50:45Oh, God, I...
00:50:46I can't believe I just saw my first penis.
00:50:50It was yours.
00:50:53Thoughts?
00:50:55Personally, I enjoy what I saw down on your penis.
00:50:58Carson!
00:50:58Did you...
00:50:59Did you really just say that?
00:51:02Ryan...
00:51:03Come on...
00:51:04Answer.
00:51:06Or you can just tell me to leave, but you're not exactly doing that either.
00:51:09It...
00:51:10It's...
00:51:12It's...
00:51:12Leave.
00:51:13You need to nice.
00:51:16It's nice, and you need to leave.
00:51:19So you think it's nice?
00:51:22Ryan Collins, that is bold!
00:51:24You just admitted that my penis is nice.
00:51:27Shut up.
00:51:28Wait, me.
00:51:30Stop.
00:51:31Just to be clear, you want me to leave even though you think that I had a very nice...
00:51:39Stop.
00:51:40Oh, God.
00:51:41Jonathan.
00:51:41I can't believe you...
00:51:44Can't believe you...
00:51:50You just...
00:51:52Don't believe you.
00:51:53That's what I can do.You're
00:51:57I...
00:51:57I can't
00:52:01believe you, man. You're right,
00:52:03you're right. You're right.
00:52:03You need to be
00:52:03guilty. I'm too guilty.
00:52:06I'm too guilty...
00:52:09People... You can't
00:52:10You're right. You're
00:52:10right, you're
00:52:11right. No, or you're right.
00:52:11Please.
00:52:15Marston, we...
00:52:16We can't.
00:52:18Why not?
00:52:19Because you're a little drunk,
00:52:21and you're hiding from your evil psycho baby ex-girlfriend,
00:52:26and you're a big football star,
00:52:28and I'm just your dorky best friend,
00:52:29and there's no way that you seriously want me.
00:52:31I like you.
00:52:33Collins.
00:52:34I'm very serious about how much I like you.
00:52:37Have you ever wondered what it would feel like if...
00:52:42or something more?
00:52:44Only every day since I was seven.
00:52:48I've even thought about him being my first,
00:52:51but I never thought it could actually happen.
00:52:54Maybe.
00:53:09Holy shit, Collins.
00:53:12I can't believe you've been hiding this from me.
00:53:27I've never done this before.
00:53:29I know.
00:53:33I promise I'll take care of you.
00:54:01Did I really just lose my virginity to my best friend?
00:54:10How'd you run to practice?
00:54:12Come find me on the field later tonight?
00:54:19I've loved Carson as long as I can remember.
00:54:24Does last night mean he feels the same?
00:54:27After the semester, he leaves for the most elite training camp.
00:54:31If he wants something more, he's probably gonna ask now.
00:54:35No.
00:54:46So...
00:54:48About last night?
00:54:49Oh, God.
00:54:51Does he regret it?
00:54:52Uh, yeah.
00:54:54About...
00:54:54Last night.
00:54:55Look, if...
00:54:57If you think it was a mistake, I...
00:54:58A mistake?
00:55:00Uh-huh.
00:55:01So you can let me bring him to sleep?
00:55:02Well, you were...
00:55:04You were really drunk, and it's probably obvious that I've...
00:55:07Liked you forever, and I just...
00:55:09I didn't know if you wanted to be more than...
00:55:14What didn't you just say?
00:55:16I said I want to be more than friends.
00:55:19I like you.
00:55:21Collins.
00:55:22For real.
00:55:23I like you too, Collins.
00:55:26I just...
00:55:27What if this changes things between us?
00:55:31I don't want to lose my best friend.
00:55:33Mom.
00:55:34Look, we've still got a few months, most always.
00:55:37Okay?
00:55:39We can take a stop.
00:55:56I've wanted him since forever.
00:55:58And now he's finally mine.
00:56:03So what, your period three weeks late, and you've been throwing up every day?
00:56:07That doesn't mean jack squat.
00:56:13Positive.
00:56:18How am I supposed to tell my best friend that I'm pregnant with his baby?
00:56:23I don't know.
00:56:24But you have to, right?
00:56:26He's leaving soon.
00:56:26Yeah.
00:56:27You're the one who killed him.
00:56:33What do you want?
00:56:41Dude...
00:56:41...it's so obvious that you went for riot.
00:56:44Since the moment that we were kids on a playground, man.
00:56:48You know, I guess I just never really thought that she'd feel the same way about a dumb jock.
00:56:56I know I have to leave sooner than I thought, but at my going away party, I'm going to finally
00:57:00ask her.
00:57:02She means not how bad I want this.
00:57:13Watch it, Akko. You can't even walk straight.
00:57:20No.
00:57:22Ow. Ow.
00:57:27Oh, my God. Ryan the troll might actually be pregnant?
00:57:32Oh, but who's going to guard the bridge?
00:57:35Pregnant? Someone actually put their dick in that?
00:57:38Did he have to wear a blindfold or a paper bag?
00:57:42Give that back.
00:57:43I will.
00:57:44When you tell me who your baby daddy is.
00:57:46I can't tell her the baby's Carson's. Her ex?
00:57:50Yes. She would kill me.
00:57:54Oh, my God. You don't even remember? You're such a slut.
00:57:59Ew.
00:58:00I'm going to call you Ghana-Ryan.
00:58:04Maybe you should get tested for STDs, Trish. That's one test you'll actually pass.
00:58:12For somebody who dresses like a fugly Amish bitch, but probably has the body count of a stripper?
00:58:17You've got some nerve.
00:58:19Expose her, Lily.
00:58:20Let's show everyone what Ryan's got for sale.
00:58:29Not much.
00:58:31Oh, but don't worry. Maybe this little guy can make you some cash.
00:58:35Ew. So trashy.
00:58:39Oh, are you crying?
00:58:41Is it because your bestie Carson isn't here to save you?
00:58:44Well, newsflash. He's moving across the country to be an NFL star.
00:58:48What? No.
00:58:50No, no. He's staying right here in North Cardiff.
00:58:53Oh.
00:58:54You don't know.
00:58:55He's training with the NFL champions.
00:58:57He's going to be gone the whole fall semester and the whole summer.
00:59:01I bet he's so excited to finally get away from this whale.
00:59:04She just sucks up all the air.
00:59:06Daddy.
00:59:07Oh, summer.
00:59:09Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat teen moms dragging them down.
00:59:13Not like you'd even stand a chance.
00:59:15Yeah. Have you seen NFL wags?
00:59:17Perfect tits, perfect tens.
00:59:20You're already bloating.
00:59:21Oh my god. Imagine the flab and stretch marks nine months from now.
00:59:26Just drop out, Ryan.
00:59:30That was so close.
00:59:32Carson, you're going off to practice with NFL players and here I am.
00:59:43Lily's right.
00:59:44If I distract Carson with this baby, I'll stop him from becoming the all-star he's capable of being.
00:59:51I'll destroy everything he's ever worked for.
00:59:58Your father can never find out about you.
01:00:02He needs to leave and never come back.
01:00:07Come on!
01:00:09Let's go!
01:00:11To Carson!
01:00:16The youngest player in history to train with NFL team.
01:00:19Yeah.
01:00:21Lily, your career is like set, man.
01:00:23How does it feel?
01:00:24Speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed.
01:00:27All right?
01:00:28All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
01:00:31Woo!
01:00:31Of course, I wouldn't be here without my team.
01:00:34Woo!
01:00:35But I also owe this win to my best friend.
01:00:40Ryan Collins.
01:00:42You've stood by my side since I'm a kid.
01:00:45For every win,
01:00:47every loss,
01:00:49every stupid dream I've ever had.
01:00:56Carson, Carson, what happened, talk to me, it's me, I freaking had one job, to throw
01:01:07the ball, and I blew it, everybody's counting on me and I blew it, I blew it because I'm
01:01:15an idiot, no, hey, breathe, Carson, breathe, okay, you're the youngest captain in our school's
01:01:24history, you are perfect, 99% of the time, on and off the field, you're not embarrassed,
01:01:41everybody's gonna ignore me, I blew the homecoming game, you're my best friend, stupid, I mean,
01:01:47yeah, sure, you're gonna make it to the NFL one day, but I'd still be best friends with
01:01:52you, even if you were the water boy, that night, you said we were best friends, why not, I want
01:02:09to be so much more than that, there's no doubt, no question in my mind, well, except for
01:02:18one, will you marry me, Ryan Collins, guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat teen moms
01:02:33dragging them down, I'm so sorry, Carson, you're my best friend, that's why I'm doing
01:02:40this, Ryan, what the hell, I thought you liked me, I thought you wanted this, you thought
01:02:57wrong, I can never be with a loser like you, that's bullshit, I have known you since we
01:03:03were seven, I know when you're lying, you don't know me, I want to be with a real star, that's,
01:03:09that's Jonah, you'll never be half the man or athlete that he, I can see that, you know,
01:03:19I thought you cared about me, I guess I had your back room, wow, I didn't think you had
01:03:28that kind of spice in you, Collins, nah, where were we, whoa, whoa, what the fuck, wait a minute,
01:03:39are the rumors true, are you actually pregnant, you're trying to fuck me if baby trapped me,
01:03:46you trashy, psycho bitch, Carson's dodged a bomb, that day, my final act of love for my best
01:04:00friend was convincing him I hated him, so he'd never come looking for me again, but I was wrong
01:04:08about how stubborn Carson Blake could be,
01:04:37Carson, Carson, Carson, you led your team to their
01:04:41first NCAA championship in 50 years, and now every college in the nation wants you on
01:04:45their team, where are you going, Georgia, Oregon, Boise, Texas,
01:04:52Ryan, Ryan, you need to come look at this, please hold, okay, oh, you need a diaper,
01:05:09hey, I know you and Carson didn't leave on the best of terms, but isn't it good for Charlie to
01:05:13see
01:05:14your dad, for all, she'll know, I found her dad at a random sperm bank, got it, are you sure
01:05:20you're
01:05:21ready for school on Monday, you haven't slept in like four months, I can't give Charlie the life
01:05:25she deserves working a minimum wage job, I need to get my pre-med degree, and you're not afraid
01:05:30of seeing you know who, Carson, no, no way, it's my guts, he's gotten an offer from every single
01:05:40Big Ten school for his senior season, there's no way that he'd come back to lame-ass middle of
01:05:46nowhere North Cardiff, actually, I'll be going back to my roots, I'll be spending my senior season
01:05:52at the University of North Cardiff, put that away, your baby is fine, you won't be, you make me drink
01:06:05alone tonight, you're gonna be drinking alone regardless, babies can't drink tequila, remember,
01:06:14come on, you're still a milk, and you haven't gone out since Charlie was born, so you have to have
01:06:18fun
01:06:18with me, we're off, okay fine, I'll stay, only to watch over your drunk ass, isn't there supposed
01:06:27to be a weight limit at frat parties, why don't you go home and breastfeed your little brat, she
01:06:34might shed a few pounds, so you still don't have any hobbies, Lily, oh like you do, still no dad
01:06:40in the picture, I'm guessing, he dodged a bullet, you're really pudgy, you looked like my mom
01:06:46before she started her diet, leave her alone, you know, I heard the most interesting rumor
01:06:51today, I heard that someone very important is transferring back for his senior year, in
01:06:57fact, I think he's here now, hope you don't embarrass yourself, mama, who's here?
01:07:31hey, oh my god, Freddy Krueger,
01:07:35I was going to make fun of your saggy ass breasts, but this is so much grosser, let go
01:07:41of my skirt, or what, hey everyone, who wants to see Ryan's awesome new party tree, who wants
01:07:52to see a human cow get milked, oh my god, she's actually leaking milk, gross, who wants to see Ryan's
01:08:08nasty ass cow drink again, milk bad cow, milk bad cow, milk bad cow, milk bad cow, oh my god,
01:08:25Carson, he can't find out I had his child like this, columns?
01:08:39Is that what I think it is?
01:08:42Is that what I think it is?
01:08:43I think it is.