00:00How do you go from being best friends with someone,
00:02to then dating them, to then breaking up,
00:04and then being friends again?
00:06It's very difficult and sometimes very uncomfortable.
00:10It's weird.
00:12Hey everybody, it's me Empress,
00:14and today we're gonna talk about
00:15how to be friends with your ex.
00:17This is 100% unprofessional, 100% unqualified,
00:21but it is solely based on my personal experiences
00:24and from what I've learned.
00:25You can't do it, you can't do it.
00:27I think society as a whole really pushes us
00:30to be in romantic relationships,
00:32but I think it's worth re-examining
00:33what you really want out of life
00:35and what really makes you happy.
00:36In my personal experience,
00:37remaining friends with an ex is incredibly difficult,
00:40and it's not for everyone.
00:41A couple of my really great relationships
00:43came from dating my best friend,
00:45but I was not able to maintain a friendship
00:47after we broke up.
00:48I actually, I still live with my ex-girlfriend,
00:51and we're still best friends.
00:52I get a lot of questions about it,
00:54but we were able to keep a good friendship
00:56because first, we stopped spending
00:59quite so much time together.
01:01You guys did break up,
01:02and you broke up for a reason,
01:04and unfortunately, with the relationship breaking up,
01:07the friendship ended as well.
01:08Acknowledge the fact that if you broke it off,
01:10they get to dictate when the friendship starts,
01:12and vice versa.
01:13You need to take time for yourself.
01:15It could be a week, a month, or even a year.
01:17You need to do what's best for you first.
01:19You gotta let it go to let it grow.
01:21You also must allow the feelings to completely disappear.
01:25Always really consider how important
01:28someone's friendship is to you.
01:29And then from there, you can decide
01:31how you want to rekindle the friendship.
01:33If you're only hanging out with them
01:35because you're thinking something's gonna be happening again,
01:37you're not being fair to yourself.
01:38It's important to take your own feelings into consideration,
01:41but you should always be considerate
01:42of other people's feelings.
01:43And if it hurts them for you to be around,
01:46but they're still kind of hanging out
01:48because they're hoping something's gonna happen again,
01:50that's you being a bad friend.
01:51Just don't be an asshole.
01:53So if either of you are still hurt,
01:55you need to give each other space.
01:56Set boundaries.
01:57Communicate with each other.
01:58Don't bring up stuff from the past.
02:00Don't try to get back with them.
02:01It may evolve.
02:02The friendship might happen.
02:03But just prepare yourself that it might be different
02:06than what it originally was.
02:08I know that you're probably having
02:09a lot of feelings right now.
02:10You're confused.
02:11You feel like you just lost your relationship
02:13and your best friend at the same time.
02:15It sucks.
02:16Trying to be friends again
02:17after breaking up with your friend
02:18really, really sucks.
02:20You have to acknowledge
02:21that it's emotionally difficult
02:22and you have to deal with that.
02:24Focus on your goals.
02:25Focus on what makes you happy.
02:26Focus on everything that you didn't get a chance
02:28to focus on while you were in that relationship.
02:31You should start hanging out with other friends
02:33who maybe you didn't spend as much time with
02:35when you were in your relationship.
02:37Maybe go out and make some new friends.
02:39Friendships, to me,
02:40are the most valuable relationships in my life
02:42and I feel like they're the longest lasting
02:44and the ones that hold me together.
02:46Those people are going to be really important
02:48in working through your feelings
02:50with someone other than your ex.
02:52You might need to delete their phone number.
02:54You might need to, like,
02:55not go to the places that you guys used to hang out at.
02:57Don't think that that person may come crawling back.
03:00Don't wait on it.
03:01It might not be the same friendship afterwards,
03:03but that's totally okay
03:04because friendships grow and change anyways.
03:06Just remember that everything's going to be okay.
03:09Be a good person to yourself
03:10and be a good friend to them.
03:11This is your time, your time to shine.
03:14It is all about you.
