00:00It seems like having kids is the worst career move a woman can make.
00:03Of course having a child is a beautiful, fulfilling experience.
00:07You think you know love, and I know people say this all the time.
00:09When she was born, I was like, this is the most, like, incredible thing that's ever happened.
00:13The connection I had with her when I was giving birth was something that I've never felt before.
00:18The fact that you get to love somebody unconditionally in that way and not even care if they love you
00:22back, you just love them so much.
00:23But in the U.S., it's also a costly, painful experience that illustrates that we have a major bias against
00:30working moms.
00:31Working moms make 4% less than women without kids.
00:34Low-income moms are hit even harder, making 6% less than women without kids.
00:39And this wage gap happens for every kid that you have.
00:41The U.S. is the only developed country without paid leave.
00:44The motherhood penalty is real.
00:47And it's not fair.
00:48We should be encouraging families to have as many kids as they want.
00:51Just like these countries that actually pay you to have them.
00:58So, what do you do if you want to have kids but you don't want to be penalized your whole
01:02career just because you live in the U.S.?
01:05Just have one.
01:06Mothers with only one kid face a smaller motherhood penalty.
01:09They have more time and energy to focus on their goals outside the home.
01:13And kids actually get more time and attention from their parents.
01:16Some studies even suggest that moms with only one kid are happier.
01:20So, why aren't more families doing this?
01:23It turns out the minute a woman has a baby, she's pressured to have another one.
01:27Immediately.
01:28As if shit wasn't hard enough.
01:29A lot of parents feel guilty for only having one child.
01:32The culture tells you to.
01:33People say it's selfish.
01:35Have you really thought about that?
01:36Oh, you'll change your mind.
01:38Strangers will say to me, oh, you wouldn't do that to your child.
01:41So, I asked a bunch of working moms on Facebook if they had ever received pressure to have a second
01:46child.
01:47Here's what they said.
01:48Yes, mostly from younger moms reminding me that my time was almost up.
01:51Everyone insisted that the kid should be close together and that every kid needs a sibling.
01:56I got pressure from everyone, no lie.
01:58My son was handed to me in the labor room.
02:00A nurse asked me, so are you ready to have another baby?
02:03I only had my child for 20 minutes at that point.
02:05Apparently, no one wants that kid to be alone.
02:07So, is having only one kid solving the motherhood penalty?
02:11Of course not.
02:12What solves the motherhood penalty is paid family leave and affordable child care
02:16so that parents can have as many kids as they want without being penalized.
02:19Which, by the way, is pretty fucking basic.
02:21But in a culture that doesn't support working moms, being one and done kind of seems like a pretty good
02:26coping mechanism.
02:27At least until our country's policies reflect reality, which is that women have both careers and kids.
02:33Obviously.
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