- 4 hours ago
Jessi joins us for a live interview with Vanessa Bayer, of SNL and Trainwreck fame. Tune into our Facebook Live feed or RIOT channel to hear the comedic voice that gave Amy Schumer and Ira Glass a serious case of the giggles dish on growing up and taking charge.
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00:00:00Okay, and we're live! Hi everybody! Hi, Facebook Live!
00:00:06Thank you guys all for coming.
00:00:08My name is Julie Miller. I'm the creative director of Riot. Riot is
00:00:12Refinery29's digital comedy platform, so we're all really excited.
00:00:15It just launched in May, and so this is our first Riot Live event, and we couldn't be
00:00:19more excited, thrilled, humbled than to have, like, two of the funniest women
00:00:23in comedy, basically, in our presence tonight, Jessie Klein and Vanessa Bayer.
00:00:32It is an
00:00:33incredible honor, and we're launching You'll Grow Out of It, which
00:00:37is Jessie Klein's first book of essays. Yay!
00:00:43So, in this room full of fans of Jessie,
00:00:46I don't need to tell you guys that she is a Peabody and Emmy Award winning
00:00:49executive producer of Inside Amy Schumer. She is helping to
00:00:53transform the third season of Transparent as a writer.
00:00:57She has been, I would say, behind most of the
00:01:02funniest things of the 21st century.
00:01:06Whether it be, because she works like a hundred jobs, whether it be as an
00:01:10SNL writer, as a Comedy Central executive, as a stand-up comedian,
00:01:15and as a friend to basically everybody in the comedy world.
00:01:18So, thank you, Jessie, for being a huge part.
00:01:23And now, she's going to be a best-selling author as well.
00:01:26So, we're all really excited about that.
00:01:30And, Vanessa, thank you so much.
00:01:33When we were thinking of who could host the Q&A for this event tonight, the first name
00:01:39on the list was Vanessa Bayer, and we were just so excited that she agreed to do it.
00:01:44Although, it's hard to pass up an invitation from Jessie Klein.
00:01:48But, we love Vanessa in Trainwreck on SNL, when she plays Miley Cyrus, or if she plays Rachel from Friends.
00:01:57I am personally obsessed with Sound Advice, which I know some people who've worked on Sound Advice are here.
00:02:05Where she plays Janessa Slater, the media coach, and I hope that some of Janessa comes out tonight
00:02:10when they're doing their interview.
00:02:12So, yeah, we're really excited.
00:02:15You know, Riot, I think, is an interesting channel because it really celebrates
00:02:21women's voices that are both radical and relatable.
00:02:24And, I think that there's no better person than Jessie Klein to sort of exhibit that combination.
00:02:30So, in this book of essays, which you all, either if you haven't read it already,
00:02:34you'll read and you'll fall in love with every essay in the book.
00:02:40And, just probably see yourself in a lot of the work that she's written.
00:02:45So, thank you so much.
00:02:46I'm, like, going to get choked up.
00:02:47I'm getting emotional.
00:02:50But, just a little housekeeping.
00:02:51We are on Facebook Live.
00:02:53So, people at home, write in your comments and questions.
00:02:56We're going to be taking questions from you guys at the end,
00:02:58after Vanessa and Jessie do their little chat.
00:03:02And, also, books are for sale.
00:03:05If you click the link here or here or somewhere, the Amazon link,
00:03:09you can buy her book right now.
00:03:12Also, for the people in the room, you can buy the book in the back.
00:03:14Jessie's going to be signing them at the end.
00:03:16And, on with the show.
00:03:19So, here's a reading from Jessie Glenn.
00:03:30Hi.
00:03:31Oh, is that way too loud?
00:03:32Or, is that right?
00:03:34This feels okay?
00:03:35Because, for me, it feels real bad.
00:03:38And, a pen fell.
00:03:40And, also, I have already sweat pitted through here.
00:03:44But, like, I'm sure you can't see it on the internet.
00:03:47So, forget I said that.
00:03:50Thanks, all, for coming.
00:03:51I'm going to just read a little bit of a chapter called Poodle vs. Wolf.
00:04:00And, quickly, just thank you so much, Julie.
00:04:02And, thank you so much, Vanessa.
00:04:03And, everybody at Refinery29.
00:04:05Okay.
00:04:05A little Poodle vs. Wolf.
00:04:08One late night when I was working at SNL,
00:04:10I wandered out of my office for a break
00:04:12and saw that some random TV in the hallway
00:04:14was tuned to an interview with Angelina Jolie.
00:04:17I think it was with Charlie Rose
00:04:18who was shamelessly hitting on her.
00:04:20This is great.
00:04:20This is totally comfortable.
00:04:24Great.
00:04:25Even better.
00:04:27That's what it needed.
00:04:31Hitting on her as is his want when he interviews a pretty lady.
00:04:34I wandered over to watch, as did Emily, one of the senior writers there at the time,
00:04:38and an all-around hilarious and fabulous lady.
00:04:41We both stared at Angelina in awe.
00:04:43Isn't it amazing, Emily asked, that we're the same species she is.
00:04:48It doesn't even feel like we are the same species.
00:04:52I know, I said, and I continued the riff.
00:04:54It's like with dogs.
00:04:56A poodle and a wolf are both technically dogs.
00:04:59But based on appearances, it doesn't make any conceivable sense that they share a common ancestor.
00:05:04We decided that some women are poodles, and some women are wolves.
00:05:10And no matter what a wolf does, like put on makeup or a thong, it will still be a wolf.
00:05:13And no matter what a poodle does, like put on sweatpants, it will always be a poodle.
00:05:18Classic poodle wolf moment.
00:05:20I'm on my way to meet my friend Tracy for breakfast and decide to wear my new dress, which I
00:05:24love.
00:05:24A black dress with white butterflies in pockets from Agnes B.
00:05:28Which is a pricey French retail chain that represented the highest echelons of fanciness to me as a kid.
00:05:32I had never gone in, ever.
00:05:34But a couple of months earlier, I was drawn in by the butterfly dress, and looking in the mirror,
00:05:38I thought I looked really pretty and girly, like Zooey Deschanel, but from Europe.
00:05:42And decided to spend an ungodly amount of cash on this poodle feeling I had.
00:05:46So I enter the subway in my butterfly dress and start to walk slowly to the end of the platform,
00:05:51waiting for men's heads to turn, while I practice saying in my head,
00:05:54take a picture, it'll last longer, even though no one is looking.
00:05:58And then this other woman walks in right behind me, and everything changes.
00:06:02She is clearly a dancer, or a former dancer, but who cares, look at her.
00:06:06She has long, perfect legs that are all one tawny color,
00:06:09not a speckled mixture of winter greens and veiny blues like mine are.
00:06:13And she's wearing short jean shorts and a plain denim shirt,
00:06:16and her hair is sloppily piled on top of her head with a cheap clip.
00:06:19She is stunning.
00:06:20You can feel everyone's energy shift as all men on the platform cycle through their
00:06:24quick glance up, glance away thing that they think will keep them from being caught looking.
00:06:28We catch you looking. We always catch you looking.
00:06:31I then do the secret embarrassing thing of purposely getting on the same subway car as her
00:06:35so I can keep looking at a pretty person.
00:06:38I am not a lesbian, but looking at her gives me a feeling of pleasure.
00:06:42She is wearing red lipstick and looks basically like Mina Suvari
00:06:45at the exact moment in American Beauty that Kevin Spacey fantasizes
00:06:49about fucking her on a bed of rose petals.
00:06:52I hope it's okay to say that.
00:06:54I should have asked earlier.
00:06:55This woman is a classic poodle, by which I mean she is effortless.
00:06:59It doesn't matter what she is wearing as this woman isn't especially stylish.
00:07:03But because she's a poodle, she looks good in anything.
00:07:06She will always look like an ocean breeze short of donning a Nazi uniform on Halloween.
00:07:10And even then you'd forgive her just that one time because it's Halloween and she's so pretty.
00:07:14And that means she's a good person who didn't mean it.
00:07:17When someone is a poodle, you just want to be near her.
00:07:20My own attempt at poodleness suddenly seems like a silly farce.
00:07:23As it is obvious, I am just a wolf in poodles clothing.
00:07:28My butterfly Agnes B dress with pockets may as well be a Ziploc bag filled with old shrimp.
00:07:35Does this all sound too self-deprecating?
00:07:37Because I don't mean it to be.
00:07:39It's just that I am in awe of poodles.
00:07:40These magical lovely women who inherently radiate femininity.
00:07:44They are not necessarily the most beautiful women or even the prettiest.
00:07:48They just seem without trying at all to always be in sync with their yin quality.
00:07:52That's the girl one, right?
00:07:53Like an iPhone in constant communication with its cloud.
00:07:57If you're still confused about what a poodle is, just think about this.
00:08:00The girl from Ipanema was obviously written about a poodle.
00:08:04No one would ever write that song about a wolf.
00:08:07Famous poodle women, Angelina Jolie, Karen Knightley, Charlize Theron.
00:08:13She's not French.
00:08:16Famous wolf women, Helena Bonham Carter, Tina Fey, Jennifer Aniston.
00:08:22Jennifer Aniston is actually a very interesting example here.
00:08:25I have friends who think she is a poodle and argue that the reason she is a poodle is that
00:08:29she's beautiful.
00:08:30And she is very beautiful.
00:08:31But being beautiful is not what makes you a poodle or a wolf.
00:08:36There are millions of beautiful wolf women out there.
00:08:38It's how much of the beauty feels like work and like maintenance.
00:08:42Aniston is stunning, but I always have the impression that her beauty comes with an enormous price tag.
00:08:48Getting your hair to be the color of a sunbeam passing through a lion's mane doesn't come cheap.
00:08:54And yes, in Hollywood, everyone's beauty is expensive.
00:08:56But there are a few ladies who seem like they're keeping very high tabs permanently open at every groomer in
00:09:02town.
00:09:03And yes, Jennifer would be stunningly beautiful even if she did nothing.
00:09:06But it's the fact that she chooses to do everything that tells me she is a wolf.
00:09:13If you look at her high school yearbook picture where she has thick eyebrows and an ever so slightly bigger
00:09:17nose, you can see she felt like a wolf.
00:09:20I'm certain she still feels like one.
00:09:22She'd probably feel like a wolf no matter what happened in her life.
00:09:25Because once a wolf, always a wolf.
00:09:26But nothing will really make you feel like a wolf.
00:09:29Like your husband leaving you for a poodle.
00:09:34I have always clearly been a wolf.
00:09:36I grew up knowing nothing about manicures or pedicures or embellished bras.
00:09:40When I got my period at age 13 on Yom Kippur.
00:09:47My mother gave me that crazy elastic belt thingy that women used in the 50s with a weird pad that
00:09:52had extra fabric at both ends so you could tie it onto plastic clips that dangled from the belt.
00:09:57Most of the readers who would know what I'm talking about here are probably dead.
00:10:02My mom is here.
00:10:03I love my mom.
00:10:04But when I think about, when I think back on it really it was unavoidable.
00:10:07We were a wolf family.
00:10:09Poodle characteristics.
00:10:11Poodles are confident.
00:10:12Poodles are always late.
00:10:13Poodles laugh a lot.
00:10:18Wolf characteristics.
00:10:19Wolves need to eat more than poodles do.
00:10:22Both larger amounts and more frequently.
00:10:27I often wonder if I could wave a wand and magically transform myself from a wolf to a poodle.
00:10:32Would I?
00:10:32Most of me says no.
00:10:34I'm proud of being a wolf.
00:10:35My wolf upbringing is responsible for my personality, for my compassion for the rest of the pack.
00:10:41As a wolf I am a diamond in the rough.
00:10:43I crack jokes.
00:10:45My whole life is about trying, about speaking up in order to be seen, about howling with laughter or howling
00:10:51out how I see the world.
00:10:52But there is another part of me that immediately yells, yes, I would give anything to feel that poodle confidence.
00:10:59To feel comfortable as a woman like my body is my perfect home.
00:11:03To be the girl from Ipanema and sway down the street emitting an intoxicating hormone like a female deer spritzing
00:11:09the air from under my perky white tail.
00:11:12I'd love to be one of those women who sleeps naked, who never has to buy her own drink, who
00:11:17wears makeup only when she feels like it, who took ballet for years and still carries that motion in her
00:11:22bones, dancing down the street, never a bad angle, completely unselfconscious.
00:11:27Poodle versus wolf, you guys.
00:11:33And as a wolf, I am already dripping in sweat.
00:11:37So, but it's perfect.
00:11:38It illustrates the point.
00:11:39Okay, cool.
00:11:42What do we do now?
00:11:45Oh, thank you.
00:11:47We're gonna just move this podium out of the way and then invite up Vanessa.
00:11:53This is your song.
00:11:54This is stage right.
00:11:56Okay, cool.
00:11:58Okay.
00:12:04Okay.
00:12:05Okay.
00:12:05Well.
00:12:06Well.
00:12:06So, everyone got a taste.
00:12:09A little niblet.
00:12:12So, poodle versus wolf.
00:12:13Poodle versus wolf.
00:12:14What would you say I was?
00:12:15I think I'm probably, I think any girl that does comedy as well.
00:12:22I feel like comedy ladies are mostly wolves.
00:12:25Wolves.
00:12:26Yes.
00:12:27My, one thing that I found that doesn't line up for me with being a wolf is that I'm always
00:12:33late to things.
00:12:34Are you always late?
00:12:35Yes.
00:12:35Maybe you're more of a poodle than you know.
00:12:37So maybe I'm more of, are you guys having fun?
00:12:38Is this cool?
00:12:40Guys, are you hanging out of every word yet?
00:12:42Cool, cool.
00:12:43Is this cool?
00:12:43Okay, cool.
00:12:45So, your book made me laugh a lot.
00:12:47Thanks, Vanessa.
00:12:48So, let's talk about other things that make me laugh.
00:12:52Oh, my God.
00:12:53Have you read David Sedaris?
00:12:56Hilarious.
00:12:57So funny.
00:12:58When people fall but don't get hurt.
00:13:00Oh, my God.
00:13:01Oh, just like a real accident with no stakes.
00:13:05So, the book is great.
00:13:08Can you guys tell I'm very good at this?
00:13:11Yeah.
00:13:11This is perfect.
00:13:12So, I earmarked a few parts of the book, actually.
00:13:16Oh, I saw that it was earmarked.
00:13:17That I thought were really interesting.
00:13:18There's one part of the book where you talk about The Bachelor.
00:13:21Yes.
00:13:22And you're very into The Bachelor.
00:13:24That is a big understatement.
00:13:27Is anyone here watching The Bachelorette right now?
00:13:30If you're not clapping, you're lying.
00:13:31Everyone is watching.
00:13:33What's JoJo gonna do?
00:13:34Do you watch?
00:13:35You're watching.
00:13:35I don't really watch it, but it's because I watch so much TV that I feel like I'd become a
00:13:41full hermit if I watched.
00:13:43It is a lot of hours of the day.
00:13:45Yes.
00:13:46Sadly, I wish I could pretend, yeah, I watch a lot of quality TV and The Bachelor, but it's really
00:13:51just The Bachelor that I watch mainly on TV.
00:13:54That and your show.
00:13:55Oh, thank you.
00:13:57Yes.
00:13:57So, you were talking about how, you were saying if a bunch of comedy girls did The Bachelor.
00:14:04Yeah.
00:14:05Yeah.
00:14:06So, I do love The Bachelor.
00:14:08And it snuck up on me because, like, many people might have this feeling.
00:14:13I used to be like the person who's like, oh, that's like such a dumb show for dummies, for dumb,
00:14:18dumb dummies.
00:14:18Um, and then I watched it and I was like, oh, this is the happiest I think I've ever been.
00:14:24Um, and I watched the Juan Pablo season and that was what got me hooked in, if anyone's familiar with
00:14:30that, with that, um, creepazoid.
00:14:32But, um, uh, anyway, I, I started watching it and I, I was like, I feel like I would be
00:14:38amazing on this show.
00:14:40Um, like, cause no one's ever funny on it, ever.
00:14:44Um, and then I was like, what if there was just like a version of The Bachelor one season where
00:14:49instead of the women all being like same kind of woman that it always is, which is poodles.
00:14:53If there was a season of The Bachelor where all, like The Bachelor is just a regular bachelor, like the
00:14:58usual guy, like just like a dumb dummy hot guy.
00:15:01But then he is surprised to find that every bachelorette is just like a Jewish girl who went to a
00:15:07liberal arts college.
00:15:09And we're all like, we all arrive in like, you know, like a Volvo and we get out of the
00:15:14car and like our clogs and we're like, this is nuts, right?
00:15:18I'm so nervous.
00:15:20Um, yeah, I feel like that would be a genuinely good show.
00:15:24It would be so good.
00:15:25Let's do the show.
00:15:26And I feel like by the end of it, you wouldn't even care about The Bachelor.
00:15:30Everyone would just be like supporting each other and being like, he's garbage.
00:15:33Yeah, no, he's a full garbage bag.
00:15:36Should we just like make a frittata and like hang for a while?
00:15:40Yeah.
00:15:41It would be the best.
00:15:41We'd be so much more concerned that like the snacks were around.
00:15:45Yeah.
00:15:45Should we do like a Costco run?
00:15:48We did one yesterday.
00:15:49We should do another one right now.
00:15:50Now we were talking a little bit before this about how we're both very into free things.
00:15:55Oh, I love.
00:15:56Oh, like if I can get a thing without paying.
00:16:00It's amazing.
00:16:01Free snacks to me.
00:16:03There's nothing more important.
00:16:05Um, literally nothing.
00:16:05We were just upstairs and there were chips and it did go through my mind.
00:16:08I was like, should I take these chips?
00:16:11Put them in your bag?
00:16:12Yeah.
00:16:13You should totally take those chips.
00:16:14I, anytime I'm on set, I usually have, this is not a joke.
00:16:18It's, I'm going to kind of play it off.
00:16:19Like it's a joke, even though I already told you it's not, but I usually take a bag with
00:16:24me and I'm like, well, I guess I can put snacks in this bag.
00:16:27Yeah.
00:16:28And I, like I, when I was in Chicago doing, um, touring with second city, I got a reputation.
00:16:34It was like, Oh, don't leave, you know, as being loose with snacks, as being like,
00:16:40Oh, if you leave those waters, if you leave those waters there, Vanessa will take them.
00:16:44Well, the cutest thing also that happened, it was beyond just a free, it's a free thing,
00:16:50but no expectations.
00:16:52There was a bottle of, of rose wine and like someone had poured like several glasses just
00:16:58to have them ready for someone.
00:17:00And Vanessa was like, Ooh, is, Ooh, is anybody drinking wine?
00:17:05And, and I was like, yeah, these are for everyone.
00:17:06And then she reached one and she was like, Oh, did someone already drink from this one?
00:17:10And someone from this delightful company was like, Oh, can we pour you a fresh one?
00:17:15And she was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:17:16I just want this one, whether someone has started it or not.
00:17:20Like, no, I'm good.
00:17:22I don't want to be a diva.
00:17:22It's just the one that's near me.
00:17:24Um, but yeah, the free, there was free wine just now.
00:17:27And I love that.
00:17:29Ah, a free, a grape, a little cube of a cheddar cheese, any of it.
00:17:34Yeah.
00:17:35I was, I was just in France and I, and everyone was drinking.
00:17:38Oh, excuse me.
00:17:39Oh, I'm sorry.
00:17:40I was just in France.
00:17:42Does that, did everyone clock where Vanessa just was?
00:17:45France.
00:17:46But everyone was drinking rosé and there was rosé just now.
00:17:49And I feel like rosé is now like a woman's, like a, like a fancy, cute girl's drink.
00:17:53Yeah.
00:17:54Like a book club.
00:17:55It's like a, it is like a poodle drink.
00:17:56It's a little, well, I mean, I would agree with you except for how much of it I drink,
00:18:00which seems to confirm the wolfness.
00:18:03Um, I don't know.
00:18:05I just feel like it.
00:18:06Well, I think like, cause I drink white wine a lot and I always go for like, I, I always,
00:18:14I think I drink dorky wine.
00:18:15Like I'll like ask for a Chardonnay and everyone's like, get over yourself.
00:18:21Everyone's like, do you know what year it is?
00:18:23Do you have a brand?
00:18:24No, I, I don't know anything about wine.
00:18:28Me neither.
00:18:29There was, there was a wine last night that I was like, what kind of wine is this?
00:18:33And then you didn't even realize why you were asking.
00:18:35I know that is the thing of like looking at a wine list and just like, Oh, like what's
00:18:40good.
00:18:40And then in your head, you're like, literally any of it would be good for me.
00:18:43Yeah.
00:18:43I have no preferences.
00:18:46When waiters are like, do you want to dry or fruity?
00:18:48I'm always like, yes.
00:18:50Yeah.
00:18:52Correct.
00:18:52Does anyone really know?
00:18:54I mean, I think I say dry cause I feel like it's the right thing to say.
00:18:59Is dry, does it mean sweet?
00:19:01What does it mean?
00:19:02It doesn't make any sense because wine is wet.
00:19:06Yeah.
00:19:07Don't.
00:19:08So it does feel like a real reach.
00:19:09Whatever it means.
00:19:10Don't use dry.
00:19:12Like why did dry become a term to describe wine?
00:19:14Because this world is broken, Vanessa.
00:19:18Because the world is so screwed up right now.
00:19:21Yeah.
00:19:21And don't talk about the wine's body.
00:19:24Yeah.
00:19:24Ew.
00:19:25Oh my God.
00:19:26Hashtag.
00:19:27Take it back.
00:19:29What?
00:19:30I don't know what I'm saying.
00:19:31I'm so punchy right now.
00:19:33I am too.
00:19:34I actually had a mix just now of iced coffee, rosé and water that truly is making me feel
00:19:40like.
00:19:40Oh, not in one cup.
00:19:42No, no, no, no, no.
00:19:42Oh my gosh.
00:19:43I was about to be like.
00:19:45I did present it that way.
00:19:47Dude, it's a new thing I'm trying.
00:19:49It's iced coffee, rosé, a little Cheez Whiz and two Splendas.
00:19:58It's purr for summer.
00:20:00Anyways.
00:20:01Anyways.
00:20:02Well.
00:20:03What's that?
00:20:06I feel like, by the way, I just invented a really dope drink.
00:20:09Yes, you did.
00:20:10Let's try it after this.
00:20:12Absolutely.
00:20:13Is there Cheez Whiz here?
00:20:14I'll go into a fury if that drink's not ready when we're done.
00:20:18Everything else I know is here.
00:20:20Yeah.
00:20:20Everything is totally here.
00:20:22Okay.
00:20:22There's a car filled with, there's a little mini car at the back of this room filled
00:20:27with soda.
00:20:28Also, can I say something about Refinery29?
00:20:30Please.
00:20:30I think we're on the same page about this.
00:20:32I think like, we were saying how everyone here is so cute.
00:20:37So cute.
00:20:38So cute.
00:20:39And like, how do you do it?
00:20:41You have to keep it up every day.
00:20:43Everyone here is so perfectly adorable.
00:20:46It's too much.
00:20:47I liked it and I was like, ooh, the cute receptionist.
00:20:50And then I was like, ooh, the other.
00:20:52Yes.
00:20:52Like, it's just cute and cute.
00:20:54Isn't it exhausting, you guys?
00:20:55Like, don't you ever want to just like be like, I'm, you know, I'm gonna have the wrong
00:20:59accessory.
00:21:00No accessory.
00:21:01Yeah.
00:21:01God forbid.
00:21:02No.
00:21:03Not wearing my ear cuff today.
00:21:05Yeah.
00:21:05I don't care.
00:21:06Brown hair.
00:21:07I don't care.
00:21:08That's what you say, right?
00:21:12That's what I say.
00:21:13Right.
00:21:13We don't care.
00:21:15I couldn't care more.
00:21:16I care so much.
00:21:17But it just, anyways, everyone looks great, but.
00:21:18So good.
00:21:19I feel like I could come here, like on a surprise date, like an undercover boss.
00:21:24And everyone would look like, you know what I mean?
00:21:26Like, I guess this is an event day.
00:21:29No.
00:21:29I don't think that's what it is.
00:21:30Every day is.
00:21:30I think everyone's this cute every day.
00:21:32Every day is an event day.
00:21:33I feel that very strong.
00:21:34I do too.
00:21:35I feel that energy very strongly.
00:21:36I was saying, I think, this is gonna make me sound like an old spinster, but I was saying
00:21:41that I think probably the common denominator is youth.
00:21:45Yes.
00:21:45There's like a lot of youth here.
00:21:47One thing that is really cute is being 23.
00:21:52It's like one of the cutest things you can have on is your 23-ness.
00:21:59It's so cute.
00:22:00Yeah.
00:22:00It's really.
00:22:02Although we were both talking about the fact that when we were 23, speaking purely just
00:22:07for myself, I was like a full garbage bag of, I didn't know how to, I mean, I can't,
00:22:15will you fill in while I try to think of how to describe what I wore when I was 23?
00:22:18I'm just saying, let me just say like that I had such tight curls.
00:22:24And just the tightest.
00:22:26Like if someone did my hair.
00:22:27Yeah.
00:22:28Ugh.
00:22:29Yeah.
00:22:30Cause also you don't know what you want and I'll, by the way, that sounds so elitist.
00:22:34Like when I would get my hair done and I never did when I was in my early twenties,
00:22:37but you already dropped the France bomb.
00:22:40So I'm just saying you just don't, you just, whatever.
00:22:45I didn't have, I mean, God, yeah.
00:22:47I was basically like a feral, like a raccoon, like, like tipping over garbage cans for like
00:22:55old capri pants or whatever.
00:22:58Although that's very much back on trend.
00:23:00I also like, I feel like when I was in Chicago, if I like got a shirt from anthropology,
00:23:06there's a whole thing about anthropology in here.
00:23:07But if I got a shirt from anthropology, I'd be like, well, I guess I'm kind of running
00:23:11the world when it comes to style.
00:23:13Like I just would like wear the same anthropology shirt and be like, hey, you guys can all go
00:23:17fuck yourselves.
00:23:20But really?
00:23:21A hundred, oh my God.
00:23:22If I had on an anthropology dress at that age, I would set up like a velvet rope line
00:23:29for men to get on to propose.
00:23:32Cause I'm like, you clock that I have on like an $88 anthropology dress.
00:23:36So I'm like a pretty high status.
00:23:40Exactly.
00:23:41Exactly.
00:23:42I still feel that way.
00:23:43Very much like that.
00:23:45Totally.
00:23:45This is not really in the past.
00:23:46And like a, and like a ballet flat.
00:23:51A ballet flat.
00:23:51Cause it's hard to walk if you have heels on.
00:23:53Oh, and then just like a super chunk necklace.
00:23:56Yeah.
00:23:56I still, I feel like I, to this moment, I don't deserve jewelry from anthropology.
00:24:02Like I, I don't deserve it.
00:24:04But you know what?
00:24:05I feel like speaking of chunky necklaces.
00:24:07Yeah.
00:24:08Let's get to it.
00:24:09Not to go.
00:24:10Do you, do you watch?
00:24:11Let's tackle it.
00:24:12Do you watch Real Housewives?
00:24:13Who was I just, do you watch Real Housewives of New York?
00:24:15I go in and out.
00:24:16I go in and out.
00:24:17Um, there is a housewife who wears so many chunky necklaces and I've, I don't want to,
00:24:25I've met her at Barry's bootcamp.
00:24:27Uh, do you not want to name names?
00:24:28By the way, I have, I have 10 classes left at Barry's bootcamp.
00:24:31Where do you think you are?
00:24:31If anyone wants them, I can never go back.
00:24:34Ooh, what happened?
00:24:36Well, I started going and there is a teacher there that I did really like, but, but it,
00:24:41I would have nightmares about it.
00:24:43Like an hour before I'd wake up, I'd see that I had an hour left to sleep and just have
00:24:47nightmares about Barry's bootcamp for an hour and then go.
00:24:51And then like, finally someone was like, you know, you don't have to go.
00:24:54Right.
00:24:54And I was like, you know, this is an elective thing as a grownup that you paid for to do.
00:24:59Yes.
00:24:59Yeah.
00:25:00But anyways, yeah, there's like, you can, you chunky necklaces are not always, well,
00:25:06we talked, I mean, you were anyways, I don't know what my point is, but no, I, I'm hearing
00:25:10you loud and clear and, um, re Barry's bootcamp.
00:25:15I've never done Barry's bootcamp, but I did try to do bar method bar.
00:25:21This is discussed.
00:25:22This is a chapter in the book that made me laugh so hard.
00:25:24Um, if anyone here done bar or the other one, I've done physique 57 57 or any of the
00:25:33ones.
00:25:34Yeah.
00:25:34Yeah.
00:25:34A few of them.
00:25:35There's a few of them.
00:25:36And they're the ones where you are, the idea is that you're going to sculpt the perfect
00:25:42ass and that you're going to do it by being, pretending you're like in ballet training and
00:25:47holding onto a bar and you just stand there and you just go up, down, up, down, up, down
00:25:52for like 1 billion times in 45 minutes.
00:25:56And I tried to do this and I, I honestly like saw my life flash before my eyes.
00:26:02But what was crazy is that every other woman there is, is nailing it.
00:26:07Not missing a beat.
00:26:07Women who are four times as old as I am are there.
00:26:10Pregnant women.
00:26:11Pregnant women, women, women in hospice who have just jumped out to like keep it tight
00:26:17in those final days on a drip.
00:26:21Well, and you make this point.
00:26:22There's an article.
00:26:23I mean, there's a chapter about this in the book and you make this point that like it be,
00:26:27you realize that all these women who look so amazing who live in New York and I'm sure
00:26:31elsewhere, the reason they they're working so hard.
00:26:35So hard.
00:26:35And it makes you so sad because you're like the whole thing.
00:26:39There's something very sad.
00:26:41Well, I will never do, I, let me start a sentence with, I used to go to the gym.
00:26:47And yeah, when I, I was like, whatever, in my thirties and I was like, I have a gym membership
00:26:52and I go twice a week, whether I need it or not.
00:26:56And I get on the elliptical and I crush it for 35 minutes.
00:27:00Why am I not seeing changes?
00:27:02By the way.
00:27:04And then I was like, but I'm on the elliptical 35 minutes twice a week.
00:27:10Like why is anything loose?
00:27:13And then I went to bar method for the first time and I was like, Oh, this is what it
00:27:19takes.
00:27:19And what did you say about the elliptical in this book?
00:27:22I can't remember what it was, but.
00:27:24Oh, wait.
00:27:25For women who go to bar method, doing the elliptical is basically like their nap.
00:27:30Like if they're tired, it's like, I guess I'll go on the elliptical.
00:27:32Yeah.
00:27:33I feel like a trainer said that to me or something was like the elliptical, like you might as
00:27:36well.
00:27:37It's nothing.
00:27:37Like eat a cake.
00:27:38What a bummer, right?
00:27:40You burn more calories.
00:27:41Digesting.
00:27:41If anyone goes on the elliptical, keep doing it.
00:27:43Don't listen.
00:27:44But like, it just is such a bummer that you're like.
00:27:47It's such a bummer.
00:27:47But you can't, then you have to.
00:27:49Thank God I have the best personality.
00:27:56I just want to read magazines on the elliptical.
00:27:59Oh, reading a magazine on the elliptical is one of the great joys.
00:28:04Who wore it best?
00:28:06Who wore it best?
00:28:06Why am I not on this?
00:28:08Have you been on the machine where it goes like, your legs go like, kind of like that?
00:28:14Or like.
00:28:15Oh, I try the one where your legs go out.
00:28:18It's so hard to balance.
00:28:19I.
00:28:20It's a dangerous machine, I would say.
00:28:22It's a dangerous machine.
00:28:23It's not okay for common use.
00:28:25Yes.
00:28:26Yeah.
00:28:26It's your leg.
00:28:27You're doing, you get on it and you go.
00:28:29You're sort of wheeling out.
00:28:31Yeah.
00:28:31Yeah.
00:28:31You go like that.
00:28:32But I don't, is anyone really using that?
00:28:34No.
00:28:35Nobody uses it.
00:28:35When I use it.
00:28:36It should be.
00:28:37I think I'm using it for show.
00:28:39Like at the gym.
00:28:39Cause it's, I actually don't even belong anymore.
00:28:41But it's in the front.
00:28:44And I feel like I'm just doing it to be like.
00:28:46See.
00:28:49Gotcha.
00:28:51It seems, but I remember when I saw that machine and I looked at the diet, the diagram
00:28:56on it, where I was like, oh, my legs do that.
00:28:59As someone who has a butt that is very much shaped like a quadrangle or a trapezoid, I
00:29:06guess, is a quadrangle.
00:29:07That's a type of an angle.
00:29:09Yeah.
00:29:10Pull the plug.
00:29:13No, I just, it's very rom, romzoidal.
00:29:17And I was like, this seems like it would hit.
00:29:19Yeah.
00:29:20This would shave the corners down.
00:29:21That I want to shave down.
00:29:23Yeah.
00:29:24I want to, you know, you want to shave the corners of your butt down.
00:29:27Yeah.
00:29:28Right?
00:29:33I need you so much right now.
00:29:36Don't you die on me, Vanessa.
00:29:39Don't you die on me, girl.
00:29:41Shave my butt down.
00:29:41Here's what I was going to, this is what I want to ask you too.
00:29:44Yes.
00:29:45I'm the subject of gyms.
00:29:46Mmm.
00:29:46I don't know if you belong to a gym that has a juice bar in it.
00:29:50No.
00:29:52No, I've never afforded that.
00:29:54Who buys juice at the gym?
00:29:55Because it's so intimidating.
00:29:56It is very intimidating.
00:29:59It's always very green and very expensive.
00:30:01It feels like no one here is relating to that because I didn't really get a reaction.
00:30:04But every time I've gone to like buy a juice at an Equinox, it's like-
00:30:09Oh, what's that?
00:30:09Sorry, I named you.
00:30:11Yeah.
00:30:11No, you earned it.
00:30:12Every time I've gone to-
00:30:13But I don't belong-
00:30:14But like, it's-
00:30:15They're always like-
00:30:17They're always like, do you have cash?
00:30:19And I'm like, what?
00:30:20What?
00:30:24Wait, they ask if you have cash?
00:30:26I don't know.
00:30:26I just-
00:30:27At the juice bar?
00:30:27Just put it on the thing.
00:30:29Like-
00:30:29But they don't take a credit card?
00:30:31You know?
00:30:31They always like make me feel like I can't get juice there.
00:30:35I do-
00:30:38I-
00:30:39You know, I only-
00:30:41I've never fully belonged at UNS, but I-
00:30:44I had a guest membership at UNS once.
00:30:47I was like subletting somewhere and I-
00:30:49So I-
00:30:50For three months I went to that gym.
00:30:52And the person who served the juice, I just remember being-
00:30:56They were so beautiful.
00:30:57Yeah.
00:30:57And I was so intimidated.
00:30:59And I-
00:31:00I made the most like, disgusting, shameless attempts to try to like, be their cool friend.
00:31:09When I would go buy a juice.
00:31:10What did you-
00:31:11What would you do?
00:31:11I'd just be like, hey, what's up?
00:31:13Or, hi, what kind of juice do you have to-
00:31:18I don't know.
00:31:19I just- I just wanted to seem like I fit in there.
00:31:23Oh my God.
00:31:24And it did not work.
00:31:25It's- that's how I always feel.
00:31:27It's like when you feel your personality being so big and you just feel like around a cool, quiet person.
00:31:33Yeah.
00:31:33Where they're just like-
00:31:34Somebody's energy is just at rest.
00:31:36Yes.
00:31:37That's-
00:31:38Half of the interactions I have with people, I'm like, hey-
00:31:43Hello!
00:31:46Yeah.
00:31:47Very much that.
00:31:48I can't- and also I'm a Scorpio, so I guess I'm supposed to be mysterious.
00:31:55Like, I remember being a kid and reading, like, about Scorpios being mysterious and being like, I guess I'm mysterious.
00:32:03Being like, should I not be telling everyone everything?
00:32:07I-
00:32:07What is your sign, Jessie?
00:32:10I-
00:32:10Wow, I thought you'd never ask.
00:32:13Yes.
00:32:13Um, I am a Leo, and when-
00:32:18Yes!
00:32:19There you are.
00:32:20I-
00:32:20Always cool.
00:32:21Um, I-
00:32:23Uh, yeah, when you, like-
00:32:25Growing up, I was like, what am I?
00:32:27I'm a Leo.
00:32:27What's that?
00:32:28And the description of Leo is-
00:32:30It's always like, you're a narcissistic asshole.
00:32:34You only care about yourself, and pretty much, um, you need to, like, learn to care about others.
00:32:41And I was like, oh, I feel pretty shy and unwanted.
00:32:44But anyway, um, yeah, like, some- some of the signs seem to get, like, more of a bad rap.
00:32:49Yeah.
00:32:49Yeah.
00:32:49But mysterious seems like a good descriptor.
00:32:52Yeah, that's me.
00:32:52I feel like you are pretty mysterious.
00:32:53Yeah, I'm always like-
00:32:54Like, what's going on in there?
00:32:57Yeah, I'm a closed book.
00:32:59Yeah.
00:32:59Like-
00:33:00Is that a thing?
00:33:02Like a murky water that runs-
00:33:05Yeah.
00:33:05Very deep.
00:33:06Yeah.
00:33:06Is that a- not a murky water.
00:33:08A murky?
00:33:08That sounds bad.
00:33:11I don't know.
00:33:12What else?
00:33:13Um, where are we-
00:33:16Oh, are we going too long?
00:33:18No, you're good.
00:33:18You're like, no, you have seven hours left.
00:33:21Believe it or not, you've- that's been one minute.
00:33:23Wait, is there-
00:33:25Okay, okay.
00:33:27So let's talk- let's go back- let's revisit the book, right?
00:33:30Yeah.
00:33:30Yeah, let's get into the book.
00:33:32Okay, um-
00:33:33It's important.
00:33:33Okay, the book-
00:33:34Yeah, I know.
00:33:36Do you want me to hold your microphone while you flip?
00:33:37Or you can do it.
00:33:38Oh, um-
00:33:40Oh, gosh.
00:33:41Well, there's so much funny stuff in here.
00:33:44Um, the- the bath was interesting to me.
00:33:47You make a very interesting point with the bath.
00:33:50Um, yeah.
00:33:51Please, please-
00:33:52I don't like them.
00:33:53I don't- I don't- um, I don't like taking a bath.
00:33:56Um, I- um, I've never liked taking baths.
00:33:59It feels like, um, you're sort of making, like, the world's saddest soup out of yourself.
00:34:06Um, and like, I don't know, it just- like, when you take a bath, I don't- I think
00:34:11- I think this is what it is for everyone, but you take a bath, and that was like your
00:34:15get clean time, but then after the bath, you have to shower.
00:34:17Yeah.
00:34:18Right?
00:34:19Yeah.
00:34:20Oh, God.
00:34:20I was really about to be like, am I dangling here?
00:34:22Um, and so it's like, why did I just waste all that time, that clean-up time?
00:34:27Yeah.
00:34:27Doing that, but it feels like with- and I, like, love Oprah, but Oprah, the obsession- she-
00:34:35I mean, I've read, like, Oprah's like- she refers to bathing as her hobby.
00:34:41Like, that's her hobby.
00:34:43Um, and she loves it, and it's like your lady time to, like, do you in the bath.
00:34:50And it just, I don't know, it always feels gross to me, and I- my theory is just that,
00:34:54like, I don't know, it feels like women are trained to love the bath, because, in fact, like, we don't
00:35:01really have another room to go to in the house, usually, because, like, at some point, whatever, you're married, and
00:35:06you have kids, and everyone else is taking up that space, and you're supposed to just, like, love being in
00:35:11the water.
00:35:13Um, I don't know, but I- I mean, I get it, if people like them, I guess.
00:35:16Like I said, and you make a point in the book, which is true, which is, like, men don't-
00:35:19it's not really a thing that men-
00:35:21No.
00:35:22Do, like, they don't escape to the bath.
00:35:24No.
00:35:24It, like, feels like-
00:35:25They have a man cave.
00:35:26Yeah.
00:35:27Yeah, with their tools.
00:35:28Yeah.
00:35:29And cars?
00:35:31I don't know what's in a man cave.
00:35:32I feel like if you are really rich, you can put cars in-
00:35:35The man cave's probably in a big run.
00:35:40Agreed.
00:35:40Fully agreed.
00:35:41Yeah, I don't know.
00:35:42Um, I don't want to- I mean, no judgments.
00:35:44But that was an interesting- um, that was very interesting to me, and made me laugh a lot.
00:35:49Thank you, Vanessa.
00:35:51Gee, I really feel like I want to hold your microphone, because-
00:35:53No.
00:35:55This looks natural, I feel like.
00:35:56No, no, no.
00:35:57Very poodle.
00:35:58I feel like I look really good doing this.
00:36:00Um, what- so, okay, so, so, anyways, I just- I truly- this- I know I said
00:36:06this at the beginning,
00:36:06this book really did make me laugh out loud.
00:36:08Thank you so much, Vanessa.
00:36:09I think, like, if someone was, like, um, you know, saw it, they'd be like, oh, she- something's wrong.
00:36:19Um, that compliment from Vanessa means everything, because I- I am very obsessed with her.
00:36:25I'm gonna go with talking about you like you're not here.
00:36:27Whoa.
00:36:27And I feel like Vanessa is kind of the funniest woman in the world, am I right?
00:36:31Give it up.
00:36:32No, I really- it's so crazy to me.
00:36:35I just, like, when I wrote this book, there's- it took a really long time, because I'm a very
00:36:38slow writer, and I spend a lot of time on the internet not writing, and, um, but there
00:36:43was a certain point at which, while I was writing it, I forgot that anyone would ever read it.
00:36:48I was just like, oh, this is something I'm writing.
00:36:50I forgot the other half.
00:36:51And so it's very- it's very rewarding to hear that.
00:36:55Oh, thank you.
00:36:56That's, you know.
00:37:00You're welcome.
00:37:00Sorry, you guys.
00:37:01Get out of here.
00:37:02Yeah.
00:37:02Um, no, no, no.
00:37:03This is good.
00:37:03This is good content.
00:37:05Um, oh.
00:37:06Okay, we're gonna-
00:37:07She was-
00:37:08That got the-
00:37:10No, thank you.
00:37:13Well, okay, so now we're gonna take some questions-
00:37:16Yes.
00:37:17We will.
00:37:18From-
00:37:19From-
00:37:20Uh-
00:37:21Whose question is burning them up?
00:37:23Okay.
00:37:24Oh, so we're gonna take them from-
00:37:25Oh.
00:37:26Oh, nice.
00:37:27From-
00:37:27From Facebook Live.
00:37:28Wonderful.
00:37:28Let's see how I-
00:37:29Ooh, look, an iPad.
00:37:30Okay.
00:37:31Okay.
00:37:32So here-
00:37:34Okay.
00:37:35Okay.
00:37:35Um, so this is-
00:37:37These are-
00:37:37These are some questions.
00:37:38I'm gonna take questions from-
00:37:40Good.
00:37:42Uh, Facebook Live.
00:37:43Facebook Live.
00:37:44The thing we're on.
00:37:45Facebook Live.
00:37:47Okay.
00:37:49Um, okay, here's-
00:37:50Okay.
00:37:50Okay.
00:37:51Uh, Jessica Mann wants to know-
00:37:54Yes.
00:37:55How long did it take you to write You'll Grow Out of It?
00:37:58Great question, Jessica.
00:38:00Um, it took about three years from typing word one to typing the last word, but of that three years,
00:38:11I think two years were internet time.
00:38:14Googling.
00:38:15That's gonna be funny.
00:38:16Just, yeah.
00:38:17So really a year, but it should, but it stretched out, because I wasted a lot of time.
00:38:23But that's, like, not to go off topic, but like, and this is gonna make me sound like
00:38:28an old lady again, but like, if the internet was around when I was like, in high school,
00:38:32like, I wouldn't have graduated.
00:38:34Oh, no.
00:38:34I, no, I would have, I think I would-
00:38:37I mean, it was kind of around-
00:38:37I'd have bed sores.
00:38:39Yeah.
00:38:39I would just have not moved.
00:38:40Yeah.
00:38:42I don't know how many, I don't know how these girls are putting themselves together and leaving
00:38:45the house with all this content.
00:38:47It's too much.
00:38:48Oh, my gosh.
00:38:48Okay.
00:38:49Sydney Cobell.
00:38:50Sydney.
00:38:51Writes, I'm a huge fan of all of your work.
00:38:54You do so much.
00:38:56It sounds like I'm mocking her.
00:38:59Sorry, I'm doing, like, these little, like, you.
00:39:03These little, like, biting impressions.
00:39:06Okay.
00:39:06You do so much.
00:39:08Can it be difficult to balance all of your separate projects?
00:39:13Um, no, it's not really that difficult because there actually are not as many as there would
00:39:20appear.
00:39:21Um, no, I, um, I, is it hard?
00:39:24Uh, occasionally.
00:39:26There were moments, there are times where it feels like somehow, but again, it's mostly
00:39:30because of my own, um, procrastination that things get into a bit of a clump sometimes.
00:39:36I let things clump up.
00:39:37But if I just did the, you know, like, the thing you're supposed to do where you write
00:39:41every day and, you know, make a time and sit and have discipline, um, it wouldn't clump
00:39:48up so much.
00:39:49But, yeah, occasionally.
00:39:51But I, I like to have more than one thing to work on at a time because, um, you work
00:39:56on
00:39:56one and then you're like, ugh, I hate this.
00:39:58This sucks.
00:39:59And then you go to the other one.
00:40:00Yeah.
00:40:00And then you get to, ugh, this sucks.
00:40:02And then you go to the other one.
00:40:02I'm like, oh, this one wasn't so bad.
00:40:04Yeah.
00:40:04Yeah.
00:40:05Great.
00:40:05Yeah.
00:40:06That's, who asked that?
00:40:07Sydney?
00:40:08Sydney.
00:40:08Great question.
00:40:09And Sydney, I'm sorry if it sounded like I was doing an impression on you.
00:40:11I think you owe Sydney a real policy.
00:40:14Okay.
00:40:15Um, here, Courtney, um, Palestina.
00:40:19Why are you?
00:40:20I just feel like I am not making fun of your last name.
00:40:23I just was saying, I was trying to.
00:40:25That's a lot of syllables.
00:40:25I was trying to enunciate.
00:40:27Yeah.
00:40:27Wants to know, is there anything in your career that you still want to tackle?
00:40:31What is your next passion project?
00:40:33Perfect.
00:40:33Ooh.
00:40:34Is there anything I still want to tackle?
00:40:36I think you've done it all.
00:40:38Sorry.
00:40:39Sorry.
00:40:40You got so much vocal fry.
00:40:42Like, you've done it all.
00:40:44Um, as, um, um, yeah, I, um, I, there are other things I think I would like to do, but
00:40:51I, um, it has been so all encompassing doing the book and then occasionally doing like things
00:40:57where I'd go to an office and work on someone else's thing that, um, I haven't thought about
00:41:01the next thing very much, but I'm hoping to think about that thing very soon.
00:41:07Do I seem like a Scorpio right now?
00:41:09I was just going to say, I was just going to say you're acting like a Scorpio.
00:41:14Um, I wish I was hiding anything, but there's literally nothing in there.
00:41:19That's how I always feel.
00:41:22Um, uh, Abby Nathan asks, who are your favorite comedians?
00:41:30Heroes.
00:41:31Okay.
00:41:35Um, comedians and heroes.
00:41:39Vanessa Bear.
00:41:40Um.
00:41:41That's so sweet.
00:41:44Oh, um, I, I love 80 Bryant on the show as well.
00:41:49Um, a lot of the huge Tina Fey.
00:41:52Yeah.
00:41:53Amy Poehler, Amy Schumer.
00:41:56Um, Janine Garofalo was like a big hero of mine when I was, um, growing up and watching
00:42:02standup on TV.
00:42:03I just was obsessed with her.
00:42:05Yeah.
00:42:05She had this one HBO special where she basically was in like pajama shorts and like a flannel
00:42:11and I was like, that's for me.
00:42:15Um, and yeah, I don't know, Chris Rock and Louis CK and like a lot of, yeah, a lot of
00:42:21those
00:42:21people.
00:42:22Is that answer to that question?
00:42:24That's enough.
00:42:26That'll do, pig.
00:42:28That'll do.
00:42:30Um, okay.
00:42:31Ashley Trimble writes, what's harder?
00:42:37Writing a book or doing standup?
00:42:41Ooh.
00:42:41Ooh, um, they are both hard.
00:42:46Um, I feel like they would come easier to someone else.
00:42:50Um, um, I think, um, they're, they're hard and enjoyable in different ways.
00:42:57Writing a book again for me with the internet time takes a long time.
00:43:02Stand up.
00:43:02There's the immediate gratification and you get kind of constant feedback as we're getting
00:43:07now.
00:43:08Right.
00:43:08Where there's moments where we're like, it's hitting.
00:43:10Yeah.
00:43:10And then moments where we're like, are we out of time?
00:43:13Um, and you kind of constantly are like, this is working.
00:43:16And then with the book, you're just kind of in it alone and you are just like, this could
00:43:20just be a real pile of paper cups that no one will ever care about.
00:43:25Um, so yeah, you're just a little more unsure and that can be very frightening.
00:43:30Yeah.
00:43:30Not having the constant checking in.
00:43:32Checking in.
00:43:33Yeah.
00:43:34Well, I think that's all the, um, Facebook questions we're going to take.
00:43:41Is there anything else that you want to say, you know, uh, about the book?
00:43:46Uh, career, the future project, um, literally no.
00:43:56And, um, no, we're going to take questions from here.
00:43:59Oh, from the audience.
00:44:01From the real people.
00:44:02Those were real also, I hope.
00:44:04Oh, so there are people here.
00:44:06If they're not real, they did, those robots made up great names.
00:44:09Those bots.
00:44:12Sorry for calling you guys robots.
00:44:14First I impersonate you and then I call you robots.
00:44:16Okay.
00:44:17Okay.
00:44:17So now we're going to take some questions from the audience.
00:44:19From the people here.
00:44:21Okay.
00:44:22Chi-okay.
00:44:23Chi-okay.
00:44:25Um, yes.
00:44:29What was the first comedy project you ever did?
00:44:32What was the first comedy project I ever did?
00:44:36Um, my first, um, well, I, so I worked at Comedy Central in development for a long time.
00:44:43That was, like, my first job, my first real job out of college.
00:44:47I also worked at a video store and I temped.
00:44:50Um, you're welcome.
00:44:52Uh, but then my, my first comedy writing job was I worked on, um, a show called the Showbiz
00:44:59Show with David Spade.
00:45:00Also, you're welcome.
00:45:02Um, that was on Comedy Central and, um, it was great.
00:45:05It was, like, this perfect first job.
00:45:07David Spade was super lovely and funny.
00:45:09I adored him.
00:45:11Yeah.
00:45:11He's awesome.
00:45:12He's so great.
00:45:12He's so great.
00:45:13And, like, genuinely a delightful.
00:45:15He was one of my, I met him at the SNL 40th.
00:45:17I was like, he's one of the, my favorite people that I've met, like, as.
00:45:21He's the best.
00:45:21He's so great.
00:45:23Yeah.
00:45:23He, we had a moment.
00:45:25Truly.
00:45:25I know, I know.
00:45:26Now it's getting back to sounding like sarcasm.
00:45:29But he, I just loved him.
00:45:31We had a quick, I don't know why.
00:45:33I would not have predicted we'd get into David Spade stories, but I was, we, he took the
00:45:37writers to dinner and, um, I was wearing, because it was many years ago, I was wearing
00:45:43a very treasured swatch of mine.
00:45:46Like a swatch watch.
00:45:47And, um, he was like, oh, where did, he was like, what's with, what's with your watch?
00:45:53I think it had a frog on it.
00:45:55It was, like, blue and I was, like, over 30 with a green frog on my watch.
00:45:59And I was, my, I was like, oh, my boyfriend at the time, I was like, my boyfriend gave
00:46:03it to me.
00:46:04Uh, and he just, he just, like, looked at him and he just went, get rid.
00:46:12And it was very much needed advice.
00:46:14He was not wrong.
00:46:16Amazing.
00:46:17By the way, my first phone was a swatch phone.
00:46:19Remember the swatch phones where you could see through them?
00:46:21Oh, not only do you remember it, I thought of it, I think of it every morning.
00:46:25Yeah, the see-through where you can see what's going on.
00:46:28Which is, like, it's all fake wires, right?
00:46:30Like, it's all colorful, like, fake wires that don't do anything.
00:46:34But you're like, whoa, and the bottom and the top.
00:46:37I thought this was going to fall.
00:46:38No, no, no.
00:46:39The bottom of the phone and the top of the phone both work like phones.
00:46:42It's basically two phones.
00:46:44Well, there's your love of free stuff.
00:46:46Two phones for the price of one phone.
00:46:49Great.
00:46:50Awesome.
00:46:51Nobody knows what we're talking about.
00:46:53Nope, nope, nope.
00:46:53Okay.
00:46:54Who else has a question?
00:46:57Okay, kind of a quiet...
00:46:59Cheeky, do you have another one?
00:47:01Does anyone...
00:47:02Oh, my cousin Brooke.
00:47:03We're only going to calm people that we know.
00:47:08Of course.
00:47:10When did you know you were funny?
00:47:13Great question.
00:47:19There was not, like, an aha moment of I'm funny.
00:47:23But I was noticing in high school that I wasn't becoming particularly attractive.
00:47:31But I was, like, time to lean on something else.
00:47:34And so I tried being funny.
00:47:38And that seemed to go better than relying on the other parts.
00:47:45So, yeah, I think, like, in college I auditioned for a sketch group.
00:47:51Yeah, oh, Rishi from college.
00:47:54We went to...
00:47:55The only people that we know are here.
00:47:58And everyone's like, are they in their house?
00:48:01We went to Vassar College.
00:48:03And there was a sketch group called Laughingstock.
00:48:05And I auditioned for it.
00:48:06And I got in.
00:48:07And I was like, well, that feels like a big vote of confidence.
00:48:13How many more questions?
00:48:16Unless there's...
00:48:17Oh, here's a question.
00:48:19What a great...
00:48:25That's a great question.
00:48:26Yeah, how becoming a mom...
00:48:27I just...
00:48:28For the Facebook.
00:48:29Can I say something so humiliating?
00:48:32Which was, as she was asking that question,
00:48:33I honestly thought she said, how's becoming a model?
00:48:37And I was like, oh, but I'm not a model.
00:48:41She asked, how becoming a mom affected your writing.
00:48:46Not a model.
00:48:46Not a model.
00:48:46Yeah, you didn't ask about me becoming a model because I'm not one.
00:48:50How did...
00:48:50That is actually...
00:48:51By the way, you look gorgeous tonight.
00:48:53Thank you so much.
00:48:54So many people helped.
00:48:55But thank you.
00:48:56As do you.
00:48:57I love your red lip.
00:48:58Also, thank you.
00:49:00It feels like it's really spreading all over my face, but...
00:49:03It's not.
00:49:04It's perfectly where it is.
00:49:06Okay.
00:49:06No, that is a really genuinely good question.
00:49:10I think I'm still figuring it out.
00:49:12I have a son who's just turned one, and he is the bomb.
00:49:16And, you know, I think you learn a lot about patience when you have a baby because it's just very
00:49:27nonstop.
00:49:27And it also doesn't leave a lot of time.
00:49:30So, like, all that time I used to spend on the internet, suddenly that is not there as much.
00:49:35And I want to spend time with my kid, and that leaves a shorter amount of time, in a good
00:49:39way sometimes, to write.
00:49:41And it just, it kind of, it focuses the attention on, like, getting it done.
00:49:45And, but, yeah, I'm kind of, it's still kind of new.
00:49:49Check back in.
00:49:51Yeah.
00:49:53Oh, we've got one over here.
00:49:56Yes.
00:49:58Are you going to go back to, I'm saying it for Facebook.
00:50:01Are you going to go back to stand-up at some point?
00:50:03I would very much like to.
00:50:05There was a moment I was trying to do stand-up when I was pregnant, and then there was a
00:50:10moment when I was about seven months pregnant where I was a very large pregnant person.
00:50:16And I'm not, I mean, you're supposed to be big when you're pregnant.
00:50:19It's not self-deprecating.
00:50:21Objectively, I was enormous.
00:50:23Like, if you, there's, like, pictures of me and Amy Schumer at our premiere party for Thursdays, and you were
00:50:29like, oh, that person's going to give birth any day.
00:50:31And it was, like, month six.
00:50:34But, anyway, I tried to go up on stage, and I was, like, trying to talk, and I was, like,
00:50:39oh, I can't very much breathe.
00:50:41So I decided to take a break, but I really miss it, and I'm going, I think I'm going to
00:50:45try and do a little more soon.
00:50:47This feels like a nice soft landing into it in some ways.
00:50:51Yes.
00:50:52Yes.
00:50:53Yeah.
00:50:53Yeah.
00:50:54Yes.
00:50:54Oh, over here.
00:50:55Yes.
00:50:56Yes.
00:50:56Does getting an Emmy change your writing style or the way you feel about yourself?
00:51:01Yeah, I'm going to repeat it, because it's kind of what I mean.
00:51:03Yeah, no, for the people.
00:51:04Did getting an Emmy change your writing style or the way you feel about yourself?
00:51:09I, like, I've never gotten an Emmy, but I would think, like, it doesn't matter, but.
00:51:16You're correct.
00:51:17Vanessa, you're so right.
00:51:18I don't think it would affect me.
00:51:19It's, like, about you.
00:51:20It's, like, it doesn't matter what other people think.
00:51:21No, and, in fact, great question, and there is a chapter in the book entitled Dog Shit
00:51:28in which I describe how that feeling remained both before and after the Emmy.
00:51:35It was very awesome to win one and was really exciting and unbelievable, but, no, writing
00:51:44style, definitely, no, and how I feel about myself, sadly, no.
00:51:51No, all the same, anxiety and sweating disorders.
00:51:57Yeah, I don't know.
00:51:58It's awesome in that moment, and then you just kind of keep on dealing with yourself, I think.
00:52:03Ooh.
00:52:04Right, Vanessa?
00:52:05I mean, I don't know, but, like, I would think of that.
00:52:08Do you, no, but, like, you will, but, like.
00:52:11Well, and it doesn't matter.
00:52:12No, no, no, no, it's not a measure of anything.
00:52:14It kind of, like, resonates with me, is that it doesn't matter?
00:52:20Oh, my God.
00:52:22Oh.
00:52:23Anybody else?
00:52:24You'll get one.
00:52:25Well, I don't, I don't care.
00:52:28How do you look at one, though?
00:52:29Well, I'm, you know.
00:52:30I feel pretty confident about it.
00:52:32Oh, well, well, I don't know.
00:52:35Any other questions?
00:52:37We're, um, we're sweating a lot.
00:52:42Yes.
00:52:43This is kind of a little bit more serious.
00:52:45It's, like, people keep saying that it's such a great time for, like, female comedians.
00:52:49Like, how does that make you feel to hear?
00:52:52People keep saying it's such a great time for female comedians.
00:52:56That's a great question.
00:52:57How does it make you feel?
00:52:58How does it make you feel?
00:52:59Do you want to answer first?
00:53:00I'm going to think while you talk.
00:53:01I want to know what you think.
00:53:04It's interesting because I think if you are a female comedian, you're, like, I guess.
00:53:11Right?
00:53:11Right.
00:53:12Like, you don't feel like, yeah, we're really, because there's still is, like, it feels like
00:53:17there's still a thing of, like, if this female comedy goes well, that's good for, and you're
00:53:21like, really?
00:53:22Yeah.
00:53:22If this, this, like, it feels like every time a female comedy comes out, people are, like,
00:53:26you better go.
00:53:26This is it for women.
00:53:27Yeah.
00:53:27If it works, women works.
00:53:28If it doesn't work, women don't work.
00:53:29Go buy 20 tickets.
00:53:30Throw them in the garbage.
00:53:31Whether you see it or not.
00:53:32But buy them.
00:53:33Or it'll never happen again.
00:53:34And meanwhile, like, you know, like, male comedy people or whatever, directors are, like,
00:53:42pooping out another turd.
00:53:44And everyone's like, this will be amazing.
00:53:47No worries.
00:53:49Yeah.
00:53:50I do.
00:53:50I, yes.
00:53:51Yes.
00:53:52Like, you said.
00:53:53Yeah.
00:53:53It feels a little, it feels like, I think in some ways that is true, but I think in other
00:53:59ways it's, like, the fact that people keep being like, it's great for women now, right?
00:54:04Right.
00:54:04Like, I guess.
00:54:06Yeah.
00:54:06It's, like, I've sweated through my underwear, so how great is it?
00:54:11Um, I, uh.
00:54:15That's actually kind of the perfect, yeah.
00:54:18Yeah.
00:54:19Um, I, I do, I mean, yeah, it does, I, I mean, definitely now more than ever.
00:54:26There are, I mean, it is great that there are so many, I think the fact that there are
00:54:29so many women writing and creating shows, um, that is something that was not happening.
00:54:34I don't know, 10 years ago in terms of the numbers, uh, that's a big deal.
00:54:39Women kind of, I think, feeling like, um, there's space to, to write stuff and that story
00:54:45is about women are not in any way trivial.
00:54:49Yeah.
00:54:49They're just, they're, they're your story.
00:54:52They don't, they're not, can I say less than?
00:54:55Right.
00:54:56Yeah.
00:54:56Well, and I just hope that, like, I feel like when we really, when it's really a good time
00:55:00for women in comedy, it won't even be like a thing.
00:55:03Like, women in comedy won't be like a, it will just be like people in comedy.
00:55:08But, like, you're right, it is, like, so talked about of, like, women in comedy and
00:55:11you're like, if you have to say, you know what I mean?
00:55:14Yeah.
00:55:14The fact that it's still a topic probably means it's not as awesome as it could be.
00:55:20Yeah.
00:55:21We have to make everyone laugh again.
00:55:23Uh, oh.
00:55:30How do you balance, like, marketing yourself and putting yourself out there and doing the
00:55:35business side of things while being funny and using the level of necessary, like, self-experation?
00:55:44i'm gonna repeat it great so it's something i'm not gonna say it as eloquently as you but it's
00:55:49something like how do you like brand yourself and like kind of market yourself while still like
00:55:55being a comedian and like being self-deprecating and is that generally and now i like took you
00:56:00away from the real original question no i it was good because then i got to think while it was
00:56:04repeated um i uh luckily i have um probably not as much as i should have uh i mean i
00:56:12am a pretty
00:56:12late bloomer i'm old and um i uh i've never really thought about the marketing of myself um
00:56:22and i that's probably a good thing for people to do i i don't think that's a positive i think
00:56:28it's
00:56:28important to kind of own your space and kind of announce yourself i was never very good at that
00:56:34um and just really focused more on the self-deprecation um and i feel super lucky that
00:56:41i've i've just uh like sitting here thanks to everybody who's a part of this um i've i really
00:56:48i more than i should probably just kind of hope that the kindness of strangers will kick in
00:56:53to that part of it so yeah i would say i bet you would agree with this though i think
00:56:59that there is
00:57:00a real thing with saying you like also have to learn to say no to things is like the biggest
00:57:05way you sort
00:57:05of right yeah that i think that's a big thing for like that is a big thing and it that
00:57:10is like a
00:57:11moment that did feel like a big milestone although i still i don't know in the last like year or
00:57:16two
00:57:16and i've said no to a job i'll like be on the phone with my agent doing like a final
00:57:21note first i wring
00:57:22my hands about it for weeks even if it's something real like like could pass how i am about like
00:57:27i die
00:57:28yeah and then i hang up and like i'll just like retch into like a garbage belly what did i
00:57:36just do
00:57:36and it really it's like not a big deal but it's very hard to say no because i'm very i
00:57:42don't know i
00:57:42worry about money and stuff totally totally yeah like and what if this is a thing that i need not
00:57:47even jobs like everything like there's so much stuff i feel like once you're like successful or
00:57:54run around but um i just feel like there's like a lot of things you have to say no to
00:57:58to sort of
00:57:59like protect yourself yeah while you still want to like be having fun and um yeah you know stealing
00:58:06food and stuff yeah that's yeah you don't want to miss up miss up on any free food don't want
00:58:12to
00:58:12miss up on any free food don't say no yeah i think that's the real takeaway
00:58:20okay one more
00:58:25ooh um don't give spoilers i can't yeah i actually probably shouldn't um yeah i uh i have known um
00:58:34jill soloway who's the very brilliant creator of that show uh for a long time and um she was super
00:58:41sweet to have me come on board that show as um what's known as a consulting producer and so i
00:58:46came
00:58:47in like three days a week and i worked on uh part of what does a consulting producer do um
00:58:52a lot of
00:58:53free food a lot of free food um in my mind you just stand and you go like mm-hmm
00:59:00i like a little
00:59:00that seems good jeffrey tambor you're figuring it out you seem to have a handle on this more of that
00:59:11um yeah but i think i i would be like um i yeah i can't i can't reveal any but
00:59:17really but that what
00:59:18what what is consulting producer yeah um uh this is so boring that's my but in the right
00:59:24the writers guild union it's just yeah i used to wonder the same thing i was like who's that genius
00:59:32um it's just like uh there are all of these like um tiers of credits um that are part of
00:59:39like the
00:59:40writers guild system that are fairly meaningless in terms of how they sound but it just has to do
00:59:44with how much free food you get because to me it's like yeah it's like the person at a fashion
00:59:49magazine
00:59:50he's like in out yeah swipe left swipe right but okay so it's it's just writing it's all writing
00:59:59yeah great nibbling writing a little snack a little writing nosh that is i guess my dream
01:00:06so i can't more keep going is there more cheese yeah um well great uh i think we all know
01:00:15what a
01:00:15consulting producer is and thank you so much you're a scorpio very mysterious
01:00:23um yeah thank you vanessa thank you jesse thank you julie thank you refinery 29
01:00:31and the internet and face yeah face my facebook facebook yeah right facebook
01:00:42thank you so much um that was awesome another round for vanessa and jesse
01:00:50um so i just want to say facebook live buy the book and you can click the link and then
01:00:55everybody
01:00:55here it's for sale in the back and jesse will be signing and we should all have some drinks and
01:01:00some music and that's it thanks for coming get your free free drinks and free food