- 1 hour ago
Itâs Valentineâs Day and Amanda is alone. At the office, Lyric is being flooded with gifts from her boyfriend. Amanda reminisces about Brad â who is at the center of the worst Valentineâs Day sheâs ever had.
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00:00Okay, I just thought we could wait until after dinner, but it's fine.
00:04Oh wait, Brad, open the card first.
00:11Happy Valentine's Day.
00:13Cool, I'll read it later.
00:14Wait, do you like the card?
00:16Yeah, sure, where'd you get it?
00:18I made it. It's us.
00:21Oh yeah, you're trying to be like a cartoonist or whatever.
00:28Oh my god, fuck yeah!
00:31I like that.
00:33Oh, it's hot!
00:34Kind of hurt.
00:36Die! Die! Die!
00:38I'm dead!
00:39Flamethrower!
00:41I really like it. So dead.
00:53Oh, look who got flowers. Where are these from?
01:00They're for you.
01:02Thor is really, he's going overboard this year, it's too much.
01:06I know.
01:07I have something for you.
01:09You do?
01:09Mm-hmm.
01:11Is that a Sandwich Guy sandwich?
01:14This is better than any tacky bullshit.
01:17I love you.
01:18And you'd have this too.
01:20You know I'm not above accepting a re-gift.
01:22Yep.
01:23Remember what happened last year?
01:24Oh my god, I forgot about that Brad guy.
01:26Oh, here!
01:28I didn't have time to wrap it.
01:30Well, it's kind of wrapped, right?
01:31Yeah.
01:32See what's in here.
01:36Oh, well now I finally smell good.
01:38That's what I figured.
01:39Yeah.
01:40Yeah.
01:41Is there something else in here?
01:42I feel like...
01:46Oh.
01:48Um...
01:49Brad, I don't...
01:52How is someone supposed to know that?
01:54What was I thinking?
01:56That's the question everyone wants to know, Amanda Banks.
02:00Why were you with that shitty asshole for so long?
02:03What were you thinking?
02:13So hey, I watched this cool TED talk about brains.
02:17Brains?
02:18Yeah.
02:18This woman had a stroke and the left hemisphere of her brain just went completely offline.
02:23It was really interesting.
02:24So the right hemisphere of the brain handles intuition.
02:27So it's weird that our society cares so much about hard proof and logic when there's this whole other side
02:32of ourselves that we ignore, you know?
02:37Yeah, that's the...
02:38That's the whole thing.
02:40For a communications major, I thought you'd like TED talks.
02:43Oh.
02:44Not when they're boring as shit.
02:47Totally.
02:48Oh.
02:48You're right.
02:49Yeah, it was really boring.
02:51Yeah.
02:51Brad was nice.
02:52Sometimes.
02:53And when you're in a committed relationship, you have to commit.
02:56It's not happy all the time.
02:59He also had those, like, lower ab lines, you know?
03:03Like, um, a magic mic?
03:05Yes.
03:06Got it.
03:07Besides, who would I be if I didn't totally over give to people who didn't deserve it?
03:11A man.
03:12Right.
03:13Oh, that feels amazing.
03:15Oh, keep doing what you're doing.
03:17Oh.
03:18Oh, I love you.
03:21What?
03:22What?
03:23Did you say love me?
03:25No, no, no.
03:25I said I love it when you pull my balls.
03:27No, no, no.
03:28But you said it.
03:28You said I love you.
03:30Well, you keep going.
03:31I'm gonna lose it.
03:31But I love you.
03:33And I lost it.
03:34It's actually kind of a relief to feel like I'm better off alone.
03:39Even though it is, let's say it together.
03:42The best Valentine's Day ever.
03:44The best Valentine's Day ever.
03:45Why?
03:46Because you're gonna spend it with me and Thor, and what are we gonna do?
03:48You're gonna love me.
03:49That's right.
03:50Who needs a boyfriend when you have friends like us who love you?
03:54You, for starters.
03:55I don't need Thor, okay?
03:57I just have Thor.
03:58And I'm on Thor.
04:00And Thor needs me, but it's not like in a needy way.
04:03It's more like in a way that makes me feel like...
04:06Needed.
04:06I was gonna say like I am by the balls, but needed sounds more...
04:10Selfless.
04:11I was gonna say philanthropic.
04:13Selfless.
04:14Also sounds like bullshit.
04:15Kind of, yeah.
04:16It does actually.
04:19So, is this like for work or is this a journal entry?
04:23Oh, it's just me reflecting on my deep emotional wounds that keep me stuck repeating the same
04:28patterns with terrible men.
04:30So, uh, journal entry.
04:32Alright, well I am glad you're not one of my three dates for tonight.
04:34Happy Valentine's Day.
04:36Gonna go get him a dickwit.
04:37Read it out.
04:41I have to say, I was such a huge fan of Feral Daryl growing up, so to get advice from
04:46you of all people...
04:47I'm sorry, what advice?
04:48Isn't that why you called me in?
04:54Mm-hmm.
05:01Okay.
05:03Um, what if I keep this one?
05:04Mm-hmm.
05:05Uh, yes, of course.
05:07I'd actually love your take.
05:08I've been feeling kind of blocked lately.
05:10You know what helps with that?
05:11What?
05:12Repetitive menial tasks.
05:14Hm?
05:14You're out of Fresca in the break room.
05:17Fresca.
05:17Right.
05:19Happy to help.
05:32Come on, just let me set you up with the guy.
05:35No, I'm giving up.
05:38I have had an unprecedented streak of shitty boyfriends.
05:41I need a tiny commemorative jersey for my vagina because we are retiring.
05:45Ew.
05:46Ugh.
05:46My own life doesn't even pass the Bechdel test.
05:49Which test is that?
05:50The one where you got labeled, like, introvert or feeling or pervert?
05:54Oh.
05:55Alison Bechdel is an artist who believes that two female characters should talk about something
05:59other than men.
06:00Well, you can talk about work.
06:02When you're done, I need you to pull all the character designs on the Letterman Project.
06:05Mm-hmm.
06:06Good idea.
06:07Yep, thank you.
06:08On our way.
06:09Yep.
06:12Okay.
06:13Anyway, so his name is Johan.
06:15I know him through Thor.
06:16We met at the Integratron.
06:17Just be adventurous.
06:18Do it.
06:19I'm adventurous.
06:20I just signed up to take a class at the Magic Annex tonight.
06:22Ooh.
06:23That's good.
06:24Magic is a major sausage fest.
06:27Not a lot of girls do it.
06:28No, no, no.
06:28I love magic.
06:30I'm the kid the tricks are for.
06:31So cute.
06:32And you know you do meet your soulmate when you do weird shit.
06:35I met Thor when we did naked disco yoga together at Burning Man.
06:38And I saw his happy baby.
06:40And it was, I couldn't look away.
06:43It was amazing.
06:44Anyway, I'm really excited for you to fuck a wizard tonight.
06:47Aw.
06:47It'll be magical.
06:50Who's ready for a show?
06:53The magic tricks don't work out.
06:55I happen to have a bit of a green thumb.
07:01Just a little tray here.
07:02Did I miss anything?
07:04Yeah, you missed the magic.
07:06Ah.
07:07There you go.
07:08Sir, take it home to the wife.
07:10I'll go get one.
07:15This is not as majestic as I have.
07:18Yeah, this is some BS.
07:20And that was magic.
07:25So, um, so how'd you do it?
07:27Uh, very well.
07:29Alright, for my next trick.
07:31Um.
07:31Yes, young lady?
07:32Yeah, should we be taking notes, or?
07:35Well, this is just level one.
07:36I can't be expected to give my secrets away just to any charlatan.
07:39You have to earn it.
07:40By paying $350 to the magic annex?
07:43Magic is not for sale!
07:45Oh.
07:45Okay.
07:46Write that down.
07:47But I am available for birthday parties and bar mitzvahs.
07:50So much for learning how to pull a rabbit out of my asshole.
07:53Actually, uh, it takes a lot more than a nice carrot.
07:57I mean, I could've teach you the secret if you want to ditch the annex with me.
08:01Grab a drink.
08:03Okay, okay, okay, get something else about me.
08:05Okay, um, you were born in America.
08:10Wow.
08:11That was amazing.
08:12It was Japan.
08:14But otherwise, you nailed it.
08:17Alright?
08:18Yo, but, okay, this might sound super cheesy, but meeting you tonight was magic.
08:25Yeah, that was super cheesy.
08:27Yeah, I thought so.
08:28You heard it when you came out of your mouth?
08:29Yeah, look, it didn't sound like that in my head, but now it came out extra cheesy.
08:32My bad.
08:33It was like Gorgonzola.
08:35I mean, I don't know, do you see you believe in all the fairytale magic bullshit then?
08:40Magic is just what we can't understand, right?
08:42Right.
08:43It's easy to believe in that.
08:49Oh, that's pretty...
08:50Yeah.
08:51It's good.
08:52I'm sorry.
08:52Oh, my God.
08:53Are you okay?
08:54I know.
08:54I just have some...
08:56Whoa.
08:57Wow, what did you eat today?
08:59Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
09:01That looks magically delicious.
09:02Did you eat a rainbow or something?
09:03Red, green, white.
09:05Wow.
09:05Ta-da.
09:06Did you have that in your mouth the whole time?
09:08Like, with the margarita in there?
09:09Yes, it was last night.
09:10I, like, swallowed it.
09:11So...
09:12That would be a great drug meal, honestly.
09:22This doesn't feel like a one-night stand.
09:24We should just get married.
09:28Um, yeah.
09:29Um, I know you're not supposed to say stuff like that.
09:32I sound crazy.
09:34No, you sound...
09:37Impulsive?
09:37That's a nice word for crazy.
09:40I don't know.
09:41You just make me wanna do the Sunday morning crossword puzzle together in bed.
09:46I mean, it's just...
09:49It feels like the beginning of something.
09:52God, this is, like, straight-up lady porn.
09:56We'll get married at the Magic Annex.
09:58Oh, God.
09:59That sounds terrible.
10:02Oh, my God.
10:03If you are not being serious, it's gonna be a huge mindfuck later.
10:07You know that?
10:09Also, if you're being serious, it's also a mindfuck.
10:13That guy sounds like a complete sociopath.
10:15I mean, who wants to get married on the first date?
10:17I think it's romantic.
10:19It's how it was for Thor and me on the first date.
10:22Just, like, love at first sight.
10:24Yeah.
10:25I don't know if it's moving too fast or if that's how it works, you know?
10:29I do feel like Woodland Creatures dressed me this morning.
10:32Yeah, I bet he does this at every Magic class.
10:34Hey, if you don't like whimsy and magic, then fuck you.
10:37Yeah, also, Amanda, just don't listen to Brayden.
10:40Obviously.
10:41Oh, well, have you checked his online shit?
10:43No, I haven't checked his online shit.
10:46Dating profiles, Facebook.
10:48Are you serious?
10:49You want to get murdered, right?
10:50Well, yeah, because everyone got murdered before Facebook.
10:54Hey, everyone, we don't need police anymore.
10:55We have Facebook.
10:58I should probably just look him up for safety.
11:01What's his ass name?
11:02I don't know.
11:03You're reckless.
11:05New Amanda.
11:10Hey.
11:11Hey.
11:12Hey.
11:13Hey, you're pacing.
11:14Are you nervous about something?
11:15No, I'm just waiting for Chris to pick me up for a second date.
11:19Oh, second date?
11:23It's Chris.
11:24Hi, Chris.
11:27You went for coffee.
11:32I'm sorry.
11:33You're going to marry the barista?
11:39Come on, Amanda, come on.
11:41You're a strong woman.
11:43You have 99% of the same DNA as Katy Perry.
11:46Hi.
11:47Rayden told me what happened.
11:48I'm sorry.
11:50I'm sorry.
11:51I'm sorry.
11:55Are you laughing and crying at the same time?
11:59I'm a mess.
12:00I can't come into work tomorrow.
12:02I'm just going to lie and tell Kathy I have cramps.
12:05Okay.
12:11Hello, Amanda.
12:13Lyric.
12:13Shit.
12:14I can see that you're distressed.
12:17But whatever this is, I think it's hilarious and she'll draw the shit out of it.
12:21Oh.
12:22And stop talking about it.
12:25Okay.
12:25Can you put this in recycling for me?
12:26Yeah.
12:31Was she there the whole time?
12:33Probably.
12:35I'm in the clear though, I think, right?
12:37Oh, Jesus.
12:45Do you like your beer?
12:46It's vegan.
12:47Are you sure it's vegan?
12:48It definitely has notes of clove and hoof.
12:50Okay.
12:51What if a deer like prance through a field of hops?
12:55Would that still be vegan?
12:56If the prancing was consensual, then yes, it would be vegan.
12:58There's no such thing as non-consensual prancing.
13:01You would be surprised.
13:02I will believe it when I see it.
13:03Sometimes deer feel pressured to prance.
13:05Oh my God.
13:05That's so sad.
13:06Yeah.
13:06It's a big deal.
13:07Okay.
13:08So you need to be real with me now.
13:09We've been dating long enough.
13:12When was the last time you cheated?
13:14Like broke down and ordered a pepperoni pizza?
13:18Uh, to be honest with you, the day before I became a vegan.
13:22Oh, stop it.
13:23No.
13:24No.
13:24I can't believe that I'm dating a vegan.
13:27I can't believe I'm dating a meat mountain.
13:30Gross.
13:31A what?
13:31I'm sorry.
13:32Vegan to me?
13:33Gross.
13:35Technically eating flesh is gross.
13:39Yeah.
13:40That's what's gross.
13:43Left.
13:44Left.
13:44Ooh, right on my face, girl.
13:47Speaking of gross.
13:48So is that icing soy?
13:51No.
13:51Good.
13:52So it gives you man boo.
13:54Cool.
13:55Cool insight, Brayden.
13:58Listen, I'm really sorry and I'm just, I'm going to be more supportive.
14:02It's just that vegan guys are more sensitive to animals than they are to people.
14:06So they're really just people haters and love costumes.
14:09I don't think he's that kind of vegan.
14:12Don't worry.
14:12I'm not a Jehovah's Witness vegan.
14:14I'm not going to try to convert you.
14:15Okay, well that's good.
14:16Cause I've been like imagining the burger that I'm going to eat after this date.
14:20It's just I know that for me it's tremendously improved my health.
14:23And I never get angry anymore.
14:25That's true.
14:26You are never angry.
14:27Yeah.
14:28Okay, well what about when they cancelled community?
14:30I had some goju berries and I felt better.
14:33Okay, what about injustice?
14:36Doesn't that make you angry?
14:37Do I have to be angry to recognize injustice?
14:39Yeah, I think you do.
14:41Alright, look, I don't like those things.
14:43But anger, it's just, it's not a crayon in my emotional coloring box.
14:48Alright, I'm just a happy person.
14:51Is that going to be okay?
14:53I honestly don't know.
14:56I take it all back.
14:57He actually sounds kind of great.
15:00Maybe he can lighten you up a little.
15:01Oh, he already has.
15:02He's so in the moment, you know?
15:05I feel like I've been trying new things since I met him.
15:08Jesus, just marry the guy already.
15:09God bless him.
15:11Or whatever bless him.
15:12Yeah.
15:12The moment.
15:13The moment bless him.
15:17Vic.
15:20Vic, are you sure you don't want to jump in?
15:22There's all sorts of awesome stuff in here.
15:24I found all of these vegetables.
15:26And look, that bread, well, that actually has some mold on it.
15:29Somebody should throw that away.
15:30Yeah, someone should.
15:35You want a beat?
15:36Oh, God.
15:38You okay, babe?
15:38Yeah, yeah, I just have a sensitive gag reflex.
15:40Okay, let me get this straight.
15:42So, he dines out of a dumpster.
15:45It's called freeganism.
15:47It's called freeganism?
15:48All it is is just reclaiming some discarded food.
15:51I know, it just seems a little homeless-y.
15:53Oh my God, are you homeless?
15:55He's homeless.
15:56No, he has a house.
15:58Wait, from dumpster diving and living in the moment he bought a house?
16:02No, he lives in a co-op.
16:04So, you found yourself a man with his own place?
16:06Well, he might have mentioned a couple roommates.
16:08How many is a couple?
16:1018.
16:12Oh.
16:13Oh, hey.
16:16Score.
16:17Wow, that's a lot of garbage food.
16:19Okay, look, he invited me over to dinner tonight.
16:22If I don't come home, you can put my face on a hemp milk carton or something.
16:28Here's your house-throwing gift.
16:31Oh God.
16:32It's trash.
16:33Do you get it?
16:35Yeah.
16:36Yeah.
16:38Hi.
16:42Cool place.
16:43One sec.
16:45Mm-hmm.
16:46I'm here for you, okay?
16:48I'm sorry.
16:48I gotta finish up my Reiki training this week, so you gotta hold on till then.
16:51Sorry, it's my best friend from college.
16:54She took the wrong kind of mushroom.
16:56Easy mistake.
16:57Here's what you're gonna do.
16:58Take some indica.
17:00Okay, not sativa.
17:02It's too thinky.
17:04She's not even making sense right now.
17:06Of course.
17:07Hello?
17:09Hello?
17:11Apparently she hung up.
17:12Oh, do you want to call her back?
17:13Uh, I don't really want to feed into her drama.
17:16You know, we're gonna have a great dinner.
17:17Wait till you see what I found.
17:18Well, is there someone that, um, could you check in on her?
17:21Oh, her shaman is in Peru, so probably not.
17:24Yeah, I meant more like a roommate or a friend or a medical professional.
17:30Listen, I've got this, okay?
17:31If she calls back and it gets worse, I'll just hop onto a plane and go to New York
17:36and she'll be okay.
17:37If you're so in love with plans and drama, then there you go.
17:41You happy?
17:42No, that's a terrible plan.
17:44Okay, I don't know what your deal is.
17:46I don't know if you had, like, a hamburger or if this is like a gluten thing,
17:50but this is all just bad food and super toxic energy.
17:54I'm sorry, I just can't.
17:56Well, what can't you do?
17:58I'm going through a lot of very real shit right now.
18:02So I can't, I can't cater to your negativity.
18:06My negativity?
18:07I'm not being negative.
18:09I'm just concerned about your friend, but I guess if you say it's okay-
18:13Look, I don't want to argue with you, okay?
18:14Okay?
18:15I just-
18:16Do you want to eat this lentil loaf or not?
18:20Maybe not.
18:22Honestly, if I'd stay with that guy, I would have killed myself.
18:26Yeah, but if girls killed themselves every time a guy was an asshole, there'd be nothing
18:31left in this world but, well, assholes, just like, bumping dicks against each other
18:38and trying to figure out how to reproduce.
18:41I love you.
18:43Did you just say that to the chicken or to me?
18:47Both.
18:48Okay.
18:50You give me a choice of anything, I'm going goat's tongue every time.
18:53I've never had goat's tongue before.
18:56I can't believe you've never had a goat's tongue.
18:57I didn't know people ate goat's tongue.
19:00Well, it's because they like to be taken out of their comfort zone when they eat food,
19:03which is really the point of it.
19:04Yeah, I'm definitely uncomfortable.
19:06I mean, but that's real Thai food for you.
19:08Yeah, and I'm really spilling out of this dress right now.
19:11It's so rewarding to be able to take you to authentic eateries.
19:16I can't tell you.
19:16Yeah, and who am I to deprive you of that pleasure?
19:20Hey, updated itinerary.
19:21Tomorrow night, my buddy is a sommelier at Barnyard.
19:24Well, I thought it was my turn to pick, but you know what?
19:27As long as I have a milkshake and fries, I'm cool.
19:31You don't want to put that garbage in your body.
19:33You literally have to know someone to get in there.
19:36So, I called in my chit.
19:37You called in your chit just for little old me?
19:40I did.
19:40Do you know why?
19:41Why?
19:42Because I have now deemed you chit-worthy.
19:58He pays for things?
20:00He insists on it.
20:01Ugh.
20:01See, men and women have different love languages.
20:04Men have to pay for things.
20:05They pick up the bill.
20:06It makes them feel manly, like they're taking care of you.
20:09You cannot rob them of that.
20:10They would feel emasculated.
20:12Look, there's absolutely no science to that.
20:14Alright, do you know how many times I've skipped out on the bill?
20:16And I still feel like a man.
20:18How is it your douchebaggery still surprises me?
20:21What?
20:22All I'm saying is if I'm not getting any woman candy,
20:24why should I have to pay for your $17 Cobb salad?
20:27Aren't you happy you have a real man?
20:29Yes.
20:29See, she has a mature man.
20:31A man who has multiple credit cards.
20:33A man who has a respectable career.
20:36A man who takes her places.
20:37He pays for things.
20:39In fact, he's probably been on a yacht.
20:41Probably.
20:42What is he, like 60?
20:4338, actually.
20:44Either way, get ready for his broken hips.
20:46Sounds like fun.
20:47It is.
20:48Well, there is one thing.
20:50Get masks.
20:51He's just kind of set in his ways.
20:55Well, he should be.
20:55He grew up during the Depression.
20:59You've really never seen Schindler's List.
21:01It's easily my favorite movie.
21:03I keep meaning to.
21:04It's just, it seems intense, you know?
21:07It is intense.
21:09It's history.
21:10You know, it happened.
21:12I have an idea.
21:14Oh my gosh, you're gonna love this.
21:15Hang on.
21:16What, whoa, whoa, whoa, what is this?
21:18Siddhartha?
21:18Yeah.
21:19Remedial Buddhism?
21:20I should loan you a copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra.
21:23That would be good to read for you.
21:25Yeah, I'll do that.
21:26Pick a card.
21:27Any card.
21:29Okay, you're trying to divert my attention.
21:31Yeah.
21:31But it's not gonna work.
21:33We have to watch this masterpiece.
21:35Okay, I just have a hard time watching movies about horrible things.
21:40Okay, but you gotta trust me.
21:42You're going to love it.
21:43And it's, it's gonna make you a better person.
21:47Okay.
21:48Okay?
21:49Okay.
21:49I promise.
21:52Crystal, our helicopter ride was amazing.
21:54Oh, oh, oh.
21:54I would be honored if you took my bouquet.
21:56Hold on.
21:57Christmas note.
21:58There you go.
21:59Oh my god!
21:59I got you. I know.
22:00Oh, I got you.
22:01I know. They're all barbarians.
22:02I know. I almost saw who went home. I'm recording it.
22:04It better be Jennifer. She's such a bitch.
22:07Do you know she peed on a homeless person and brags about it in every episode?
22:10Wait, wait, wait, wait. Amanda.
22:12Please tell me you're joking.
22:13No, I'm not joking. Jennifer should go home.
22:15Karen is there for the right reason.
22:17You actually and unironically enjoy watching that crap?
22:20Yes, I unironically love it. Is that a problem?
22:25That's... morbid.
22:27Excuse me?
22:28You enjoy watching people be manipulated and made fools of on national television. It's morbid.
22:34No, your favorite movie is about a genocide. That's morbid.
22:39That's art.
22:39No, you know what? No one needs to apologize for what they like.
22:42Someone should apologize for making that.
22:44Okay, no. Pop culture is important. It is a reflection of a...
22:48Okay, you don't have to get all soapboxy on me.
22:50I've been dying to show you this all day. Let's just do it.
22:57It's so black and white.
22:59I know.
23:01He movie raped you.
23:02I wouldn't use that word.
23:04Well, did you say no?
23:06Yes.
23:07And he made you watch it anyway.
23:10Schindler's List is his favorite movie.
23:11I mean, really, whose favorite movie is Schindler's List?
23:14Who really comes home after a long day and says,
23:16You know what? Let me kick back, grab a cup of cocoa,
23:19and snuggle up with my boo, and watch a bunch of innocent people die.
23:24Huh.
23:25Hmm.
23:26Hey, what does he think of your work?
23:29I haven't shown him yet.
23:30Okay, so you want to see this cartoon?
23:31Yeah, sure.
23:32So, my boss, Kathy, she's amazing.
23:35She created pretty much all my favorite kids' shows from the 90s.
23:38She said she sees potential in me, which I don't know.
23:41It's kind of hard to believe, but I still think it's...
23:43It's really, really awesome. Check this out.
23:46What's that?
23:47It's my portfolio.
23:49Cool.
23:50Is it just food, or...
23:52People don't realize what really goes into food photography.
23:55This one is part of a series I call Comfort Americana.
23:59I mean, sure, it's commercial, but it's still art.
24:08Addicted much?
24:09Oh, sorry.
24:10It's just my friend sending me dumb pictures of...
24:14Your pictures are great.
24:16Uh, the lighting and composition is very...
24:20Unspontaneous.
24:21See, you get it.
24:22That's what I like about you.
24:24Most people your age have this pie-in-the-sky idea about what it means to be an artist.
24:28I was smart enough to realize I'm not going to be the next Ansel Adams.
24:32So I got on track with something stable before it was too late, and you get that.
24:36What do I get, exactly?
24:39You're not going to be the next Walt Disney.
24:41And that's okay.
24:42You can still have a satisfying job in your field.
24:46It's good that you know your limitations.
24:48And that you're not just going to be a dreamer until it's way past cute.
24:52Way past cute.
24:54I know exactly what you mean.
24:56So no foreign film tonight?
24:58Yeah, not so much.
25:00Pick a card, any card.
25:01I'm not looking.
25:04Now put it back in the deck anywhere.
25:07Yeah, the whole Walt Disney thing.
25:10Can't unring that bell.
25:12Is this your card?
25:13No.
25:15And I started thinking, I can't be with someone who just gives up on his dreams like that and is
25:19okay with himself, you know?
25:21Yeah.
25:22Is this your card?
25:23No.
25:26Do you know those What You Love burgers with the bacon cheese fries baked into the buns?
25:31Yeah, so last night all I wanted was to eat one of those over the sink while watching Saved by
25:35the Bell reruns and be like,
25:37What happened to Lark Voorhees?
25:39And get special sauce stuck to my elbows and find myself genuinely adorable.
25:44And I could never do that with him.
25:46So I ended it.
25:48Oh.
25:50Is this your card?
25:52What the fuck?
25:54Yeah!
25:55How did you do that?
25:56Very well, thank you.
26:06How did you do that?
26:06Comics are a visual landscape of our inner life.
26:10Yeah, absolutely.
26:11So do you like it?
26:13No.
26:14These are just talking heads.
26:15You didn't utilize a space.
26:17It's completely stale.
26:18There's no movement.
26:19And what are you trying to say about dating anyway?
26:20That it just sucks?
26:21Yeah, it's really hard to think.
26:23Okay, that's too general.
26:24Okay.
26:24Why don't you focus on something you know to be true?
26:27Why is this girl, a.k.a. you, choosing to date these shitty guys?
26:32It's not that I, she's choosing, it's just...
26:36Because that's what you're doing.
26:37Mm-hmm.
26:37I don't know.
26:38It doesn't start that way.
26:39I just feel like I'm trapped in a horror movie.
26:43Well, people love watching horror movies.
26:45It's your choice whether you want to live in one.
26:51Try again.
26:53Now?
26:54Yes, now.
26:54Okay.
27:00Hey.
27:01Hey.
27:02Do you need me to call somebody?
27:03That thing's not cheap.
27:04What are you, what are you doing?
27:06I just...
27:07Hi.
27:08Are you okay?
27:09No, I'm not.
27:10I'm not okay.
27:11Come here.
27:12Come here.
27:12Come here.
27:13My love life's a joke.
27:15Kathy thinks I'm a joke.
27:16I'm a joke.
27:17No, Kathy's just tough.
27:18Alright, the fact that she's invested this much time in you already is a miracle.
27:22I just wanted it to be good.
27:24And it's not...
27:26It's not good.
27:27It's bad.
27:28It's bad.
27:29Come here.
27:30Come here.
27:31Look.
27:31All you gotta do is just kick it into high gear.
27:34Alright?
27:34It's like I always say.
27:35It's better to burn out than to fade away.
27:39Did you just steal a line from Kurt Cobain's suicide note?
27:43Uh, yes.
27:44Yes.
27:45But...
27:45Nirvana got me through high school, so...
27:48Well, Nirvana gets me through everything.
27:51Good.
27:52Now, get back to work.
27:55What?
27:57How'd she do that?
28:00Wizard.
28:01He said what?
28:02That doesn't even make sense to me.
28:03It's better to burn out than fade away.
28:05Why is everyone trying to make me listen to Ariana Grande?
28:07Okay.
28:08Now, first of all...