00:01I always felt really bad for those girls with eating disorders until I realized
00:06I was one of them. They say when you have an eating disorder you're the last
00:11person to know. An eating disorder is like termites. It slowly gnaws away at
00:16the structure until the floor collapses right from under you. I mean how could I
00:22have an eating disorder? I was a loud and proud feminist. I wasn't like Natalie
00:26Portman and Black Swan or a supermodel. I was happy. I was cool. I was tan. I was
00:32me. How did this happen? When did it start? I loved the water and going to
00:39swimming class. I cut my finger on purpose so I wouldn't have to be seen in a
00:44bathing suit. I went to the coolest camp for female filmmakers. I ate nothing but
00:50breath mints all summer. I lived in New York City and interned at a film company
00:56I made documentaries. I worked in an Italian restaurant and I dated Italian
01:01guys. I overdosed on the subway from diet pills. I got to go to Vietnam and study
01:10with the Women's Communist Union. I wouldn't finish a meal without taking a
01:15laxative. I could never ask for help because I thought I wasn't sick enough.
01:19I wasn't skinny enough to have an eating disorder. But after I puked up my entire
01:24birthday cake on my 27th birthday I just thought enough. The best medicine for my
01:29bulimia has been to talk about these issues honestly and openly and take away
01:34the shame. I don't need to figure this out all on my own. I want the skinny to serve
01:40as a catalyst for a larger conversation about food, body, shame and eating
01:45disorders. And to remind people and myself that if you struggle with self-hate you
01:50aren't weird or crazy or stupid and most of all you aren't alone. The struggle is
01:58real and it's fucking beautiful.
