00:01I try to be good to others
00:05Treat my fellow men like brothers and sisters
00:07That's the story I'm the hero in
00:10So how come I can't zero in
00:12On why this song sounds so sinister?
00:17Oh my god!
00:21I'm the villain in my own story
00:24I'm the witch in my own tale
00:28Though I insist I'm the protagonist
00:31It's clear that my soul is up for sale
00:34I'm the villain in my own story
00:38The bad guy in my TV show
00:41I'm the who in the whodunit
00:43When I go to hell, I'll run it
00:45As Satan's CFO
00:48He needs someone to do the books
00:50Actually, I shouldn't do that. I'm terrible with money
00:53But wait, how am I a villain?
00:55I give annually to UNICEF
00:59And just last week
01:01I helped a lady cross the street
01:03Who was super old and deaf
01:05Wait, where am I?
01:07Ah! A bird!
01:08I'm the villain in my own story
01:11I'm the bitch in the corner of the poster
01:15I'm the figure in the doorway
01:17Or the crackin' up in Norway
01:19God, who is this song's composer?
01:22It's like ridiculously sinister
01:24Like redonkulously sinister
01:30Well, well, well, looks like I've got you now, Valencia
01:35What do you want to do with me, you evil witch queen?
01:37I am but a humble yoga instructor
01:39Oh, what I want is your boyfriend
01:42Not Prince Josh
01:44Anything but Prince Josh
01:46Why are you doing this?
01:47I'm Kate Hudson
01:48We're doing the witch and the princess thing, okay?
01:50Just go with it
01:51Okay, so fine
01:52I'm the princess
01:53Why?
01:54Why are you doing this to me?
01:56Because I'm jealous of you and your life
01:59You're so skinny and Josh is so perfect
02:01And I want to take it all for myself
02:04And now I'll cook you into the traditional dish of Dinaguán
02:09And serve it to Josh's family
02:11No!
02:14No!
02:15No!
02:17No!
02:17No!
02:18Hey, shut up!
02:20I'm the villain in my own story
02:24My actions have gone way too far
02:27I told myself that I was Jasmine
02:31But I realize now I'm Jafar
02:35We're told love conquers all
02:38But that only applies to the hero
02:42Is the enemy
02:44What I'm meant to be
02:47Is being the villain
02:49My destiny
02:58Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
02:59Mondays at 8-7c on The CW
