00:00Our long national nightmare is over.
00:03Letterman is retiring.
00:07Paul and I have been doing this for 33 years.
00:09That's 6,028 shows.
00:12It's beginning to look like I'm not gonna get the Tonight Show.
00:14I don't think so.
00:16This is it! This is the final episode!
00:18I'm Jon Stewart. I'm dumb. I'm stupid.
00:21So long, Jackass.
00:23And the Tony goes to...
00:25Rachel Berry and Jane Austen sings!
00:32In three, two...
00:34Good evening.
00:35You're a newsman, Don. I never tell you otherwise.
00:38You pussed me in the face!
00:40Okay, but you're back in 30.
00:41Folks, if this is your first time tuning into the Colbert Report,
00:44I have some terrible news.
00:47War's over. The other side won.
00:51Tommy.
00:53Did you fall asleep again?
00:56See?
00:58Safety.
01:03I have to look to your future.
01:07I can't let go.
01:16Jackie?
01:18Jackie?
01:19How about you?
01:20I'd like to make a toast.
01:22When we worked here, together,
01:25we fought, scratched, and clawed
01:29to make people's lives a tiny bit better.
01:37Someone's having a piano delivered by helicopter.
01:40It's coming right this way.
01:42That's the kind of extravagant thing Charlie would do.
01:44And...
01:49Winning.
01:53We'll...
01:55meet again
01:56Don't know where
01:59Don't know when
02:01But I know we'll meet again some sunny day
02:08We'll meet again
02:11Don't know where, don't know when
02:15But I know we'll meet again some sunny day
02:23So I say to you tonight, friends, the best defense against
02:26is vigilance. So if you smell something,
02:30say something
