00:00Honestly, to be honest, seeing other men of my shape and color actually with darker-skinned
00:05women made me realize, you know what I'm saying, you have to look outside of what's the normal.
00:14Type. You are going to get me in trouble.
00:18Energy is everything. A wonderful energy. Confidence. I love confidence.
00:23Love some curves. Can't go wrong with the ladies with the bodies.
00:28It's almost the same height as me. I don't know why.
00:31I don't know if we just communicated better face-to-face.
00:35Brown skin. Nice long hair. Very smart. Very, you know, courageous.
00:41Have a good relationship with their parents if possible. That would be great.
00:45You know, I think the stereotype for black communities is that, you know, black men, quote-unquote,
00:50want to go outside of their race typically to find a partner.
00:53And I think that stereotype is that stereotype because of the way that the media portrays black men often with
00:59other women.
01:00You grow up in these constructs and the sort of pervasive ideology of what beauty looks like is very consistent.
01:07They have a big butt, big breasts, all that kind of stuff.
01:10The lighter skin and, you know, long hair is like the ideal look or type for a black guy.
01:16I don't think that men are like consciously like, yo, I have to have this person.
01:20I think it's just like when you want to be successful, when you want, when you are a high achiever
01:25and you're going after something,
01:26like you do sort of have this expectation that whatever that person is going to compliment you represents that.
01:33It's almost like once you achieve a certain level of fame, echelon, respect, money or notoriety, you go up in
01:40class.
01:40And it's almost like they've shown you that class and whiteness are synonymous, right?
01:45You know, how many Kanye jokes are there like, some, some, some, you leave your a** for a white girl.
01:50It's not that your preference is to date a white woman, it's that you've been conditioned to believe that your
01:56success is dating a white woman.
01:58Growing up as a black boy, 15 years ago, you weren't really exposed to seeing other different races date each
02:04other.
02:05You probably, if you grew up mostly in a black neighborhood, you only really seen black couples dating each other.
02:12I'm Haitian and yeah, my parents has, you know, they have a preference because they were, you know, teaching me
02:19and informed me, I would say, you know, how to be cautious out there because, you know, when it comes
02:25to dating,
02:26some of us, you know, we suffer and, you know, based on who we date.
02:30I don't think anybody should be committed to their race when dating.
02:33I think one race is a construct. I think, I mean, it is, and it also can be deconstructed.
02:38And I think colorism is a construct and it can be deconstructed, you know, with consistent messaging, consistent ideology.
02:45I remember my, my first person I was friends with, you know, she was white.
02:52Her friend didn't really like me. The fact that I was, because of the color of my skin.
02:58And, you know, actually, you know, this didn't bother me at all because, you know, I actually grow to, you
03:06know, love my skin for who I am.
03:07Absolutely, I think colorism plays a role in dating.
03:11I think it really depends on who you are as a man and what you are interested in and what
03:17you personally want out of a relationship.
03:19Growing up, I think, you know, people often made comments to me like, oh, you're a light skin and if
03:24you're a light skin, you must date this kind of person.
03:26And only a light skin man would date X, Y, and Z woman.
03:29Honestly, to be honest, seeing other men of my shape and color actually with darker skinned women made me realize,
03:37you know, like it's, you know what I'm saying?
03:39You have to look outside of what's the normal thing to do.
03:45Nothing is perfect, you know, sometimes the person that you want, you really need in life is, you know, could
03:51be from a different race, from a different type, with a different, you know, perspective in life.
03:56So you have to think outside of the box.
03:59If I think back to who treated me really well and who treated me really terribly growing up and, you
04:05know, just being frank, it was the black women in my neighborhood that made me feel like, to be honest,
04:11like, you know, my clothes weren't cool enough.
04:13My stuff wasn't urban enough. My hair was too nappy and it wasn't in braids.
04:17And I think that had an effect on me when I hit puberty later.
04:20It was, it was not women of color that were my first girlfriends because of that.
04:25And I think it took some time for me to even grow past that.
04:28Whether they know it or not, they like sort of direct the blame or sort of anger or frustration at
04:33black men, per se.
04:34We all are growing, sort of coming up under these constructs, right?
04:39And like, whether you're black or white or whatever, you know, racism has been so pervasive in our society.
04:47Yeah, you can be black and still have those ideas in your mind, racist and colorist ideas.
04:54I don't have a racial preference with, with dating in the sense that I have dated every color of woman.
05:03But I will say that, speaking from experience, I think I have always connected better with women of color.
05:11Because I feel like they understand where I'm coming from in a way that a woman of, a non-woman
05:17of color would never be able to understand.
05:19I think, if a black woman dates a white woman, I believe he's giving up. He's not trying to.
05:25So it's like, at the same time, they're hard to deal with because they, they go through the worst.
05:29They have the, and it's thick, to be honest.
05:32One of their women, two, they're black. And it's hard to be both in this world.
05:36For that particular reason, if you're a black man, obviously, most likely would have a black mom.
05:43You've seen her go through the struggles in life. So we definitely, we want to go with somebody that's be
05:48strong.
05:49You know, can keep you on your toes at the same time, can, you know, give you that push.
05:55And I feel like a black woman is literally perfect for that.
05:58You know, fresh skinned women are beautiful. Black women are beautiful. White women are beautiful.
06:03It doesn't matter, you know, what kind of color of skin you have. And you are, you know, beautiful.
