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A waiter at a cafe unexpectedly inherits a large sum of money and continues working. Before long, he falls in love with his boss's daughter.
#romance #musical #family #comedy #B&W

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🎈
Fun
Transcript
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00:05:47OF ALL THE WAITERS
00:05:48WE'VE EVER
00:05:48HAD IN THIS CAFÉ
00:05:49YOU'RE THE CLUMBIES
00:05:50THE MOST
00:05:51STUPID
00:05:51THE MOST
00:05:52YOU'RE JUST A FOOL
00:05:54I'M SORRY
00:05:56AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING
00:05:57WITH THAT FANCY COAT ON?
00:05:59WHERE'S YOUR WORKING COAT?
00:06:00YOU'RE THE ONE
00:06:01HAS TO BE CLEANED
00:06:02WHY IT WAS JUST CLEANED
00:06:03WELL IT
00:06:04STILL HAS A SPOT ON IT
00:06:05OH I DON'T BELIEVE YOU
00:06:07ALBERT
00:06:07YOU THINK THAT FANCY COAT
00:06:08MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A GENTLEMAN
00:06:10WELL IT DOESN'T
00:06:11YOU'RE A WAITER
00:06:12and no matter what you wear, you'll always look like a waiter.
00:06:14Well, I won't wear the other ghost.
00:06:16You're discharged.
00:06:17Again?
00:06:19Well, when do we eat?
00:06:22Waiter! Waiter!
00:06:23Come back here, because you haven't a chance.
00:06:25Don't worry, don't worry.
00:06:29What's the use of a master ghost
00:06:30to wet himself into another?
00:06:33Why, if the roost can't fret about
00:06:36something he should forget about?
00:06:39What's the use to raise the news
00:06:41whenever clouds begin to gather?
00:06:43Kings, as well as clowns,
00:06:46all have their hopes endowed.
00:06:48It's a great life
00:06:49if you don't wiggle, you're a great guy.
00:06:52If you won't wiggle, if you don't lose heart,
00:06:55the hardest part is the first hundred years.
00:06:58It's a great life
00:07:00if you stick to it, yes, a great life
00:07:02with a kick to it.
00:07:04If you come up strong, it won't be on
00:07:06till the sunshine appears.
00:07:09If you let him be few,
00:07:11Mr. Gloom is not too cold.
00:07:14Get him, never let him.
00:07:16Use the well-known stranglehold.
00:07:18Oh, it's a great life.
00:07:20If you don't wiggle, you're a great guy.
00:07:23If you won't wiggle, if you do,
00:07:25oh, well, what the heck,
00:07:26it's still a great life.
00:07:29It's a great life if you don't wiggle,
00:07:31you're a great guy.
00:07:32If you won't wiggle, if you don't lose heart,
00:07:35the hardest part is the first hundred years.
00:07:38It's a great life if you stick to it, yes, a great life
00:07:42with a kick to it.
00:07:44If you come up strong, it won't be on
00:07:46till the sunshine appears.
00:07:49If you let him be few, oh, Mr. Gloom will not be cold.
00:07:53And get him, never let him.
00:07:56Use the well-known stranglehold.
00:07:58Oh, it's a great life.
00:08:00If you won't weaken, you're a great guy.
00:08:02If you won't weaken, if you do, oh, well,
00:08:05what the heck, it's still a great life.
00:08:12Good morning.
00:08:13Can I speak to the proprietor, please?
00:08:15Oh, Papa, did anyone like to speak with you?
00:08:17Yes, madame.
00:08:17I want to find out something about your waiter, Albert.
00:08:20Yes, madame.
00:08:21My reason is, we've been engaged for three months.
00:08:24But he refuses to marry me until he makes more money.
00:08:27Now, if you don't intend to raise his salary,
00:08:29I shall have to get him another job somewhere.
00:08:32I'm sure I don't intend to wait forever, either.
00:08:34Oh, but my dear lady, Albert is very well paid.
00:08:36Oh, but Papa, you mean very much overpaid.
00:08:38But all he gets is 300 francs.
00:08:40But he gets 500 francs.
00:08:42500.
00:08:42500.
00:08:43500.
00:08:44500.
00:08:46The dirty liar.
00:08:48And to think of me falling for it.
00:08:50Ha!
00:08:50What a sap I am.
00:08:52I ought to know by now that every man's a liar.
00:08:55But wait.
00:08:56Wait till I get a hold of him.
00:08:58Ha!
00:08:58Just wait.
00:09:00Well, goodbye.
00:09:01Oh!
00:09:02Are you a musician?
00:09:03Yeah.
00:09:04What other?
00:09:04My daughter wants to learn to sing and play.
00:09:07Are you a teacher?
00:09:09I'm the best teacher in Paris.
00:09:11Oh, what a liar.
00:09:13We have a piano upstairs.
00:09:15Oh, a very good one.
00:09:16And now you'll try out her voice.
00:09:18Yes?
00:09:18And I'll see you just as soon as I return from the barbershop.
00:09:22Ha!
00:09:22Ha!
00:09:24Oh, Paul.
00:09:25Paul, and Robert again.
00:09:27He'll love again?
00:09:28No, no, no.
00:09:29They told me there was a beautiful lady here for breakfast, Albert.
00:09:33Beautiful?
00:09:34Oh, but they told you nothing.
00:09:36She was magnificent.
00:09:38Ah, if I were rich.
00:09:41Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
00:09:43Did she like you?
00:09:46No, she didn't even look at me.
00:09:48She doesn't seem to like weather.
00:09:50But she was great.
00:09:53She reminded me of those ladies I saw in the garden my father used to keep for Count Caspian
00:09:58when I was a child.
00:10:00That marvelous garden with the fountain and the great pool in the middle.
00:10:05And the ladies, those lovely ladies, walking around in their silk gowns with their tiny parasols.
00:10:15And nothing else to do all day, just to walk, walk around.
00:10:20Oh, don't stop.
00:10:23Oh, but, Paul, I'm going a long way.
00:10:26I smell it in the air.
00:10:28And that's why they're not like me.
00:10:29I'm not one of them.
00:10:30They may take lessons and lessons and lessons and lessons.
00:10:36They will always be common people.
00:10:38And I am the son of a gardener.
00:10:56Are you really going to marry that waiter?
00:10:59Why not?
00:10:59Try this.
00:11:14I can't imagine anyone wanting to marry a waiter.
00:11:18Try this.
00:11:26And that waiter of all the waiters.
00:11:29La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:11:35Oh, good morning, sir. Good morning, sir.
00:11:37You're looking wonderful this morning, sir.
00:11:39I hope, sir, you're feeling as well as you look, sir.
00:11:41I'm feeling awful.
00:11:42Oh, I am so sorry, sir.
00:11:44Don't fear, it will help a lot.
00:11:46Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
00:11:47Oh, I beg your pardon, sir.
00:11:49But there's an American of some kind, sir, waiting to see you, sir.
00:11:52He says it's most important, sir.
00:11:54Does this American look prosperous?
00:11:55Oh, no, sir. He's dressed extremely poorly, sir.
00:11:58He must be rich. Bring him in, meet me.
00:12:00Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
00:12:03Right in here, sir. Right in here.
00:12:06This is Mr.
00:12:08Spannock is the name.
00:12:09Howdy.
00:12:10Good morning, sir. Good morning.
00:12:11Will you kindly take it here?
00:12:12It's a beautiful morning, sir.
00:12:14I don't like your air.
00:12:16It's cologne.
00:12:17It's hot air.
00:12:18It's no good.
00:12:19Now in my...
00:12:20Forgive me, sir.
00:12:21You wish to see me about something very important.
00:12:23You're right. I do.
00:12:24I want you to find someone for me at once.
00:12:26Find somebody?
00:12:27Yes, a waiter.
00:12:29His name is Albert Loryflop.
00:12:31And where shall I find him?
00:12:32Don't ask me. I'm asking you.
00:12:34And you mean to say that he's just a waiter?
00:12:37Well, as waiters come and go, he's some waiter.
00:12:39He's just been left to a million francs.
00:12:41A million francs, sir?
00:12:43Oh, I beg your pardon, sir.
00:12:44But, uh, was the name Albert Loryflop?
00:12:47I telephoned the waiters' union and see if they know of such a waiter.
00:12:50Yes, sir.
00:12:51Then make it snappy.
00:12:52I can't get out of Paris quick enough.
00:12:53Yes, sir.
00:12:54Leave it to me, sir.
00:12:55Right away, sir.
00:12:56Leave it to me, sir.
00:12:56You have the papers with you.
00:12:58Oh, yes.
00:12:59Here they are.
00:13:05Oh, Count Caspion.
00:13:07Mm-hmm.
00:13:08The Count and I were great pals.
00:13:10We took trips around the world together.
00:13:12I see.
00:13:14Now, this waiter, Albert, was the son of the Count's gardener.
00:13:19Uh-huh.
00:13:20At least, he was supposed to be.
00:13:22Yes, yes.
00:13:22And, for all I know, he was.
00:13:25Well, of course he was.
00:13:27Oh, of course.
00:13:28Of course.
00:13:29Mr. Philbert!
00:13:30Mr. Philbert!
00:13:32Mr. Philbert!
00:13:33What the devil?
00:13:34Who is it?
00:13:35I have great news.
00:13:36I've got to see you at once.
00:13:37Now you won't try to stop me from marrying Yvonne.
00:13:39Now I am rich, and I can make you rich.
00:13:41We can both make a fortune at the time of two hours.
00:13:43Have you gone crazy?
00:13:45Have I?
00:13:46I'll show you how crazy I am.
00:13:48Listen to this.
00:13:49The idea is to, uh...
00:13:51Come on.
00:13:52We've got to be alone.
00:13:53But I'm all sure.
00:13:54Never mind the show.
00:13:56We have no time to lose.
00:13:57The idea is this.
00:13:58This morning at the lawyer's office, now, here's what has happened.
00:14:01Your waiter, Albert, has just inherited one million francs.
00:14:04A million francs, yes.
00:14:05Oh, what lucky.
00:14:06And lucky for us, too.
00:14:07We're going to get 400,000 francs out of that million.
00:14:10I'll say that'll help some.
00:14:11But I don't understand.
00:14:13If Albert really has a million francs, how is that going to help me?
00:14:16Because Albert will never continue to be a waiter if he has a million francs.
00:14:19No, he'll just quit.
00:14:21Of course.
00:14:21But before he quits, we'll get him to sign a long contract that will have a great raise in salary.
00:14:26A great raise in salary?
00:14:27Yes.
00:14:27Oh, no, no, no.
00:14:28Don't worry.
00:14:28You won't even have to pay him a cent.
00:14:30But he will have to pay you 400,000 francs when he quits.
00:14:33But if Albert is so rich, why should he sign such a contract?
00:14:36Because he's going to sign the contract before he knows he's rich.
00:14:39But won't Albert be suspicious when I offer him this tremendous raise in salary?
00:14:43Ah, I thought of that, too.
00:14:45So while I'm drawing up the contract, you get him drunk.
00:14:48Right.
00:14:49Now.
00:14:49All right.
00:14:50Let's go.
00:14:51Period.
00:14:51Quick.
00:14:53Have you forgotten your position altogether?
00:14:55Come on.
00:14:56Fill the glasses.
00:14:57Come on.
00:14:57All right.
00:14:58All right.
00:14:58I'll fill the glasses.
00:14:59All right.
00:15:00All right.
00:15:00All right.
00:15:00Well, I wish you remembered to see your face.
00:15:02Let me ask you one minute.
00:15:03Please hang your head.
00:15:04Charlie, you're going to hang your head.
00:15:05I'm sorry.
00:15:06You're going to hang your head.
00:15:07Oh, look what you've done.
00:15:10I'm sorry.
00:15:10Look at my face.
00:15:11Oh, I hate you.
00:15:13Oh.
00:15:16I'm sorry.
00:15:17Get out of here.
00:15:18Get out of here.
00:15:18You're here.
00:15:19I will.
00:15:19Don't fire.
00:15:20I quit.
00:15:21Oh, no.
00:15:23Papa.
00:15:23Papa.
00:15:24Papa.
00:15:26I just shocked, Albert, and I wanted to leave here at once.
00:15:28Don't worry.
00:15:29Don't worry.
00:15:30No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:15:31Papa.
00:15:32Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:15:33He must not go.
00:15:35But I don't understand you here.
00:15:38He threw a bunch of water at me.
00:15:40Oh, but water, my child.
00:15:42What's a little water?
00:15:43I'm all wet.
00:15:44Just one of Albert's little jokes.
00:15:46He's so playful.
00:15:47Papa, you don't understand.
00:15:49You go to your room, my child, and change your dress.
00:15:51Papa.
00:15:52Go to your room.
00:15:53Oh.
00:16:04What did you do, Albert?
00:16:06Throw a pitcher of water at her?
00:16:08How funny.
00:16:09Oh, no, I don't want to say.
00:16:11Oh, but you must, Albert.
00:16:13You must.
00:16:13I'm sick of being treated like a fool.
00:16:16No, no, no, no.
00:16:17We like you.
00:16:18She hurts me.
00:16:20Oh, never mind her.
00:16:23You put on your fancy coat.
00:16:25Yes?
00:16:25Hmm?
00:16:26I'm going to show you how much I like you.
00:16:31You are going to do a job for me that no waiter ever did for me before.
00:16:37Here.
00:16:39Here.
00:16:39Here is the key to the wine cellar.
00:16:43Go down there and test the wine.
00:16:47I mean, I want every barrel tested.
00:16:51I will not have any bad wine in my cellar.
00:16:55You understand?
00:16:56Hmm?
00:16:57There will be a lot of tests in you.
00:16:59All right, Albert.
00:17:01You help yourself.
00:17:03Hmm?
00:17:05All right.
00:17:07I will.
00:17:09For your sake.
00:17:19In the wine cellar.
00:17:21By the time we are ready for him, he is sure to be drunk.
00:17:24It will be easy to fool him.
00:17:26Good.
00:17:26How long did you make the contract for?
00:17:2915 years?
00:17:30No.
00:17:3120 years.
00:17:31Oh.
00:17:32And listen to how well I did it.
00:17:34Yes, yes, yes.
00:17:35A mutual understanding that if either one of the parties break this contract,
00:17:40that one must pay to the other one a sum of 400,000 francs.
00:17:47And when we split the 400,000, I can marry Ivan.
00:17:51Oh.
00:17:51Oh, dear, dear, dear.
00:17:53I hope it tastes a lot of barrels.
00:17:55Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear.
00:18:03I love you, too, too.
00:18:15I love you, too.
00:18:19I love you, too.
00:18:20Oh, now, Miss Burgundy.
00:18:25You're the last of the whole family that's left to taste.
00:18:30All your sisters are fine and healthy.
00:18:37Don't disappoint me.
00:18:39Hmm?
00:18:40And remember this.
00:18:43If wine doesn't flow through your veins like it ought to,
00:18:49you go right out in the ash can.
00:18:53Boom.
00:19:02Oh, Miss Burienzie.
00:19:09Oh, you are the flower of your family.
00:19:17You are, you are ideal.
00:19:21Will I ever find the girl in my mind, oh, the girl who is my ideal.
00:19:40How have you seen her dream, and yet she may.
00:19:46Albert, the boss.
00:19:48Albert, the boss, that's me.
00:19:50Oh, Albert.
00:19:51The boss.
00:19:52Never address me differently.
00:19:54Say it.
00:19:57Go and wash the dishes.
00:20:00And Filibert sent me to get you.
00:20:02Filibert?
00:20:03Yes, Filibert.
00:20:05Ah, Filibert.
00:20:07Let's go.
00:20:07No, no, he mustn't see you like this.
00:20:10But he's my friend.
00:20:11No, he'll be wild.
00:20:12He loves me.
00:20:13He'll fire you.
00:20:14He loves me.
00:20:16Now wait a minute.
00:20:19Filibert!
00:20:22Filibert!
00:20:24Filibert!
00:20:26Filibert!
00:20:27Filibert!
00:20:30Filibert!
00:20:39Filibert!
00:20:40Filibert!
00:20:40And a dance!
00:20:43Oh, they're both drunk.
00:20:45Oh, hi, hi, hi, hi.
00:20:47Oh, hi, hi, hi.
00:20:48And now, Albert, I'm really going to show you how much I like you.
00:20:52Yes, you are getting 6,000 francs a year.
00:20:55Yes.
00:20:56Bless you.
00:20:56Ah, but now it's going to be different.
00:20:59Oh, yes.
00:21:01It is too much.
00:21:02No, no, no, no.
00:21:03It is not enough.
00:21:04I am going to raise you to 10,000 francs a year.
00:21:08Oh, no.
00:21:09Yes, it's all right, Albert.
00:21:11I am glad to do it.
00:21:13Oh, no.
00:21:14I want, I want 20,000 a year.
00:21:18But Albert.
00:21:19But Albert.
00:21:20And if you are with me, I'll make it, I'll make it 50.
00:21:24You know, I accept 20,000.
00:21:27See, I'll change this.
00:21:29I'll change it.
00:21:30I wish I was drunk.
00:21:32And now, there's nothing left to do but sign.
00:21:36Here is the contract.
00:21:37Sign here.
00:21:38Where?
00:21:40Where?
00:21:41There?
00:21:42No.
00:21:43There, there, there.
00:21:46There, there, there.
00:21:48Albert.
00:21:50Aren't you going to read it first?
00:21:52No.
00:21:53You.
00:21:55You, you read it.
00:21:57I can think better when I listen.
00:22:01You, you, you, you'd better sit down.
00:22:05I, I'll do the thinking.
00:22:07He thinks I'm drunk.
00:22:09No.
00:22:10No.
00:22:11I'm just gay.
00:22:13That's all.
00:22:14He, he, he, he, he.
00:22:15Oh!
00:22:16Give on!
00:22:17He, he, he, it's a fine contract, Albert.
00:22:20He'll get 20,000 francs for 20 years.
00:22:24But there's one thing I don't understand.
00:22:26Don't be silly.
00:22:27It's all right.
00:22:28What is, what is it you don't understand?
00:22:30Oh.
00:22:30Well, here, this, this forfeit clause.
00:22:33It says, if you were discharged, Mr. Filibert must, must pay you 400,000 francs.
00:22:40Yes?
00:22:41Well, but if you, if you break the contract, you must pay Mr. Filibert 400,000 francs.
00:23:01Oh, but Paul, Paul, he, he, he's falling in my favor.
00:23:06Why, why should I, I want to, to leave Filibert?
00:23:09And how, how could I pay him if I did?
00:23:14Oh, Paul, Paul.
00:23:16Oh, don't be silly.
00:23:18Oh, I'm sure Filibert wants me to have all the best of it.
00:23:23Don't you, sweetheart?
00:23:24That's the whole idea of it.
00:23:27That, that's the whole idea of it.
00:23:32And now, let's find it.
00:23:36Right here.
00:23:37There.
00:23:38Oh.
00:23:40There.
00:23:41Oh, there's something about it that seems funny to me.
00:23:46Ah!
00:23:47Ah!
00:23:48Just who I'm looking for!
00:23:50Your water's right away over at my office.
00:23:52Oh, no.
00:23:52No, no, no.
00:23:53I don't want trouble today.
00:23:55No, no.
00:23:56No, it must be Edwiga.
00:23:57She wants to sue me.
00:23:59No, no, no, no.
00:24:00It's great news.
00:24:02Good news?
00:24:03It's wonderful news.
00:24:06All right.
00:24:08I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll breeze over.
00:24:12Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:24:15I feel, I feel like, like flying.
00:24:19Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:24:20Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:24:25I have come to tell you some wonderful news.
00:24:28Then you did this George Albert.
00:24:30Oh, no, no.
00:24:31That's unimportant.
00:24:34Chado has asked to marry you.
00:24:36Oh.
00:24:37And I have told him that I will be proud to have him for my son-in-law.
00:24:42But I thought you wanted me to marry a rich man.
00:24:45That's just it.
00:24:46Chado is rich.
00:24:48He has just made 400,000 francs.
00:24:52I'm rich.
00:24:53I'm rich.
00:24:54I'm rich.
00:24:55I'm a millionaire.
00:24:56Where is my money?
00:24:57Here are the papers.
00:24:58But my money, my money, where is it?
00:25:00I want to touch it.
00:25:01I want to look at it.
00:25:03There's a letter on the bank.
00:25:04Oh, ho, ho, ho.
00:25:05What a day.
00:25:06What a day.
00:25:07Where is my hat?
00:25:08I've lost my hat.
00:25:09Never mind.
00:25:09I'll buy a hundred hats.
00:25:11I'll buy you a hat.
00:25:12Oh, ho, ho.
00:25:13I'm a millionaire.
00:25:14Oh, ho, ho.
00:25:17Oh, ho.
00:25:18Oh, ho.
00:25:18Oh, I beg your pardon.
00:25:18I beg your pardon.
00:25:20My beautiful lady.
00:25:22You don't recognize me, but I recognize you.
00:25:25I'll buy you a hat.
00:25:26I'm a millionaire, madame.
00:25:28I'm a millionaire.
00:25:29Oh, ho.
00:25:30Oh, ho.
00:25:31Wait a minute.
00:25:33I'm a millionaire.
00:25:35I'm a millionaire.
00:25:37I'm a millionaire.
00:25:38I'm a millionaire.
00:25:39Yes, I'm a millionaire.
00:25:40Good morning, everybody.
00:25:42Who wants a hat?
00:25:43I'll buy everybody a hat.
00:25:45I'm rich as a millionaire.
00:25:47Here is the wheel on the bank.
00:25:49Here is the letter for the cash.
00:25:52Have you ever seen a millionaire?
00:25:53How it's made?
00:25:54Look at this.
00:25:55Hey, here I'm a millionaire.
00:25:57Oh, ho.
00:26:00Oh, ho.
00:26:01Kiss me.
00:26:02Kiss me.
00:26:03I'm a millionaire.
00:26:04We are millionaires.
00:26:05Yvonne, Yvonne, kiss me.
00:26:06I'll tell you.
00:26:07But you don't understand.
00:26:08I'm rich.
00:26:09Keep away from me.
00:26:09But I'm not a waiter here.
00:26:11I'm a millionaire.
00:26:12Well, that's who I take.
00:26:13You don't believe it, eh?
00:26:14Well, it's true.
00:26:17You used to laugh about Tom Gaspion, eh?
00:26:20You never did it.
00:26:21I saw him.
00:26:22Well, you'll believe it now.
00:26:23He's left me a million francs.
00:26:25And you're first than ever.
00:26:27Ha, ha, ha.
00:26:28And you're about to discharge me, eh?
00:26:29Poor girl.
00:26:30She has fired me for the last time.
00:26:33Now I'm going.
00:26:34No, no, no, Albert.
00:26:35A contract.
00:26:36If you go now, you will have to pay Mr. Philbert
00:26:38200,000 francs.
00:26:40Oh, but Mr. Philbert won't hold me to that.
00:26:42Would you, Mr. Philbert?
00:26:43But Albert, a contract is a contract.
00:26:48Oh, I see.
00:26:51You're a crook, eh?
00:26:53You're a crook.
00:26:53How dare you call my father a crook?
00:26:55Yes, and a cheap crook, too.
00:26:57Oh, but don't worry.
00:26:58I won't grab Albert.
00:27:00I will pay.
00:27:02Hey, pay for what?
00:27:03Are you crazy?
00:27:04Ha, ha, ha.
00:27:05Anything to get out of here.
00:27:07Goodbye and good riddles.
00:27:08Goodbye.
00:27:09And give my regards to Cadot.
00:27:11And when you get married, let me know.
00:27:13And I'll send you a rattle.
00:27:15You can't laugh at Mr. Cadot anymore.
00:27:17He didn't make a million francs today,
00:27:19but he made 400,000.
00:27:21And he really made it.
00:27:23The biggest fool in the world can inherit money,
00:27:25but it takes brains to make it.
00:27:28Cadot made 400,000 francs today?
00:27:32Yes, he did.
00:27:33Didn't he, Papa?
00:27:36Oh, I see.
00:27:38It was his idea.
00:27:40What are you talking about now?
00:27:42Why don't you go?
00:27:43And now, now that he's got 400,000,
00:27:46you will marry him.
00:27:46Why not?
00:27:47Even you mustn't marry him.
00:27:48Oh, mustn't I?
00:27:49You'll be unhappy.
00:27:50Let me alone.
00:27:51He's no good.
00:27:52Get out of here.
00:27:53Get out of here.
00:28:02Well, goodbye, Albert.
00:28:05I hope you have a happy time spending your money.
00:28:10I'm not going.
00:28:12What?
00:28:12No, sir.
00:28:13Not a chance.
00:28:14I won't be bitten by you, Cruz.
00:28:16I'll keep my million francs.
00:28:17And I'll make you pay me 20,000 more every year.
00:28:20For 20 years.
00:28:22Ha, ha.
00:28:22I'll be here every day.
00:28:24I'll be the millionaire waiter.
00:28:51I'll be the millionaire waiter.
00:28:54Here we are.
00:28:55Good evening, madam.
00:28:56Good evening.
00:28:56I ordered a table.
00:28:57Yes, sir.
00:28:58Right here, sir.
00:28:59No, no.
00:29:00I want one of these tables.
00:29:02No, no, my dear.
00:29:02Not very.
00:29:03Too noisy.
00:29:04Too noisy.
00:29:04Oh, self-waring.
00:29:05No one will see you here.
00:29:07You don't know me.
00:29:08Everybody will see me here.
00:29:09Well, you're not everybody to me.
00:29:10Sit down.
00:29:11Now, you'll do exactly what I say, or it's good night.
00:29:14Good night.
00:29:15Good night.
00:29:16Good night.
00:29:38Good night.
00:29:42Good night.
00:29:42Good night.
00:29:42Good night.
00:29:43Good night.
00:29:45Good night.
00:29:46Good night.
00:29:47Good night.
00:29:47Good night.
00:29:48Good night.
00:29:48Good night.
00:29:48Good night.
00:29:49Good night.
00:29:49Good night.
00:29:49Good night.
00:29:54thing happens to him.
00:29:56Thank you, dear.
00:29:57Wait a minute for the coach, please.
00:29:58Put this in it.
00:30:00Albert, what's that?
00:30:01This is an alarm clock.
00:30:03This will turn every morning at 6.30.
00:30:07And that will give me half an hour to get to the little cafe
00:30:10every day for 20 years from 7 a.m. till 7 p.m.
00:30:16Oh, no, no.
00:30:17These groups won't have any of my money.
00:30:19No.
00:30:20Now, come on, boy.
00:30:21Come on.
00:30:34Oh, boy.
00:30:35Look!
00:30:36My beautiful lady!
00:30:39There.
00:30:43Oh, look at the beautiful thing!
00:30:47I've got to speak to her!
00:30:49I've got to speak to her!
00:30:51Wait a minute, Albert.
00:30:52I've left you a week to go.
00:30:54Now, listen.
00:30:55Now, work.
00:30:56Now, work.
00:31:17Well, well, well.
00:31:19Good week.
00:31:20Yes.
00:31:21I'm being annoyed.
00:31:22Oh, sir.
00:31:23No, no, no.
00:31:23But I know this lady.
00:31:25This is the third time today that I've run into her.
00:31:27Take him away.
00:31:28Look always.
00:31:29No, no.
00:31:29And the second time I really ran into her.
00:31:32Don't you remember when we bumped together in the lawyer's office?
00:31:35We did what together?
00:31:37We bumped.
00:31:38Like this.
00:31:39Boom.
00:31:39Oh.
00:31:40You see?
00:31:41She knows me.
00:31:43Let's see.
00:31:44You have just left a million friends.
00:31:46Yes.
00:31:46Of course.
00:31:47Well, this is delightful.
00:31:49Oh, madam.
00:31:50This is a...
00:31:51Sir, sir.
00:31:51The priest is on his dishes.
00:31:53I only.
00:31:54Yes, sir.
00:31:54And champagne, sir.
00:31:55Yes, sir.
00:31:56Hurry up.
00:31:57We're hungry.
00:31:59What's the matter with these waiters?
00:32:01Oh, waiters the same.
00:32:02They're just a lot of fools.
00:32:04But what a fool I am not to recognize you.
00:32:08Yes, of course.
00:32:09So stupid of me.
00:32:10And you say we saw each other once before today?
00:32:13Uh-huh.
00:32:14You didn't see me.
00:32:15I saw you.
00:32:17I saw you and admired you from a great distance.
00:32:22How charming.
00:32:23And you say you came into this fortune only today?
00:32:26Yes, right.
00:32:27This morning I woke up just a...
00:32:30Just a man of moderate means.
00:32:33And now all this wealth.
00:32:35Oh, how marvelous.
00:32:37What are your fans?
00:32:38We travel, of course.
00:32:39Of course.
00:32:40Of course.
00:32:40Of course.
00:32:41No, I won't.
00:32:42I won't either.
00:32:44At least for 20 years.
00:32:4520 years?
00:32:46Why?
00:32:47Because I want to see Paris first.
00:32:51You don't want to miss anything, do you?
00:32:54Oh, yes.
00:32:54No, I won't.
00:32:55I want everything.
00:32:58And when do you begin this quest for everything?
00:33:03Just as soon as I can find a guide.
00:33:07What kind of a guide, my friend?
00:33:13Whom...
00:33:13Whom would you suggest?
00:33:16If I were you?
00:33:17If you were me.
00:33:18Oh, somewhat like me.
00:33:22If I were you.
00:33:24Then...
00:33:26Then if I were you,
00:33:29I would be a guide.
00:33:57Just a minute, Paul.
00:34:11How did we get here?
00:34:13So soon.
00:34:14So this is where you live?
00:34:16Yes, sir.
00:34:18But I hardly recognize it.
00:34:20Everything looks so different.
00:34:28Luke.
00:34:29Daylight.
00:34:30Yes, dear.
00:34:32Our first night has come and gone.
00:34:35It was a pretty night.
00:34:36Wasn't this?
00:34:37So pretty.
00:34:38And there will be more nights?
00:34:41Oh, so many more.
00:34:43And days, Albert.
00:34:44I will meet you for lunch tomorrow.
00:34:46For lunch.
00:34:48For lunch.
00:34:50Don't you want me to?
00:34:51Yes, of course, of course.
00:34:54What's that?
00:34:55It's an alarm clock.
00:34:58Is it early one of your neighbors getting up?
00:35:01At 6.30.
00:35:03Where shall we meet?
00:35:05For lunch.
00:35:05For what?
00:35:06For lunch.
00:35:07Well, what do I have to do for lunch?
00:35:10Who do I have to have lunch with?
00:35:12You know it.
00:35:13Who is it, Paul?
00:35:17The American ambassador.
00:35:20Yes, of course.
00:35:21How charming.
00:35:22I would love to meet him, dear.
00:35:23Well, I'll see what I can do about this,
00:35:25because he's a very busy man.
00:35:27Well, then we'll meet afterwards.
00:35:28About 3.
00:35:29And take a drive.
00:35:313.
00:35:31Oh, I wish I could, darling.
00:35:33Well, what do you have to do then?
00:35:34Well, at 3 o'clock,
00:35:35you have a very important engagement.
00:35:39What's his name, Paul?
00:35:41The Spanish ambassador.
00:35:44Yes, of course.
00:35:45Well, my dear.
00:35:47You see, I'm in constant touch with diplomats.
00:35:49I'm not one myself,
00:35:51but I always keep in touch with them, that's all.
00:35:53I'm very disappointed.
00:35:55So am I, dear.
00:35:56Well, then I probably can't meet you until tea time.
00:35:58Tea time.
00:35:59Fine.
00:36:00Around 7.
00:36:01No, Albert.
00:36:02Around 5.
00:36:02Oh.
00:36:04Now, don't tell me you have to meet any ambassadors around 5.
00:36:08No, of course, of course.
00:36:09But I have to meet somebody at 5.
00:36:12I have to meet somebody.
00:36:14Oh, my memory is getting terrible.
00:36:16Who is it, Paul?
00:36:20I don't know.
00:36:23Oh, well.
00:36:25Don't go away hungry, darling.
00:36:27I know, but...
00:36:28Darling.
00:36:29If you don't want me, why don't you say so?
00:36:31Oh, but aren't we going to have a nice dinner together?
00:36:34At your apartment?
00:36:35Yes.
00:36:36Where do you live?
00:36:39I live...
00:36:40Well, dear, will you have to ask all that?
00:36:43No, no, no.
00:36:45No, but I've just moved, you see.
00:36:47And with my memory, you don't expect me to remember that, eh?
00:36:51No, dear, I don't.
00:36:52But it's probably the new apartment the Chinese ambassador just moved out of.
00:36:58No.
00:36:59No.
00:36:59It just moved in.
00:37:01You see, we are great friends.
00:37:03We live together.
00:37:05Good night, darling.
00:37:06I'll phone you.
00:37:19But, Albert, now...
00:37:20Oh, shut up.
00:37:21You're a great help with your ambassador.
00:37:23Oh, don't be cross.
00:37:25I did my best.
00:37:26All right.
00:37:27Don't worry.
00:37:27But we've got to find an apartment immediately.
00:37:30Yes, we must.
00:37:31Oh, Paulie, that's been a beautiful night, eh?
00:37:33And look at that beautiful dawn, how still it is.
00:37:36Paris has crashed into bed, and is asleep at last.
00:37:41Oh, come on.
00:37:42It's time to go to work.
00:37:44Oh.
00:37:44Oh, oh.
00:37:48We look in the sunshine, I feel.
00:37:52If you let him meet you, this room will lock you cold.
00:37:59Get in there, lady.
00:38:01You're the one who's trying to hold.
00:38:04It's a nice life.
00:38:06If you don't, we can use a nice job.
00:38:09If you walk, we can use a nice job.
00:38:12Hey, you.
00:38:15It's still a nice life.
00:38:17I told you on Monday you could have one drawer for your shirt.
00:38:23On Tuesday they're in the flower box.
00:38:26On Wednesday I nearly poured soup in your silk hat.
00:38:32On Friday there isn't enough room left for a spoon.
00:38:35All right.
00:38:36All right.
00:38:37Keep your shirt on.
00:38:39Ow.
00:38:41Ow.
00:38:41Say, what do you birds think you're doing?
00:38:43Oh.
00:38:45To be a bird.
00:38:47We've just a nest.
00:38:53You take Mr. Philibert's breakfast to it.
00:38:57Yes.
00:39:01No.
00:39:03It can't be done.
00:39:15Good morning, sir.
00:39:19Your breakfast, sir.
00:39:24Where's Albert?
00:39:25Very busy.
00:39:32Good morning.
00:39:34Oh, what a terrible sight you are to my eyes.
00:39:37Oh, but I have good news.
00:39:39I really have.
00:39:40Ivan, I have great news.
00:39:42Oh, really?
00:39:43Yes.
00:39:43Really, really.
00:39:47We are going to get that money from Albert.
00:39:49Oh.
00:39:49Is he going to break the contract?
00:39:51He sure to.
00:39:52He's living the hands that kill.
00:39:54Work all day, play all night.
00:39:55Ha!
00:39:56In another week he'll be a nervous wreck.
00:39:57Where did you see him?
00:39:58Last night at the nightclub.
00:40:00He was having supper with one of the most beautiful women in Paris.
00:40:03Oh, I give him credit for that, all right.
00:40:06Lots of men would like to have that woman.
00:40:08And he belongs to him, all right.
00:40:11Well, my dear Colonel, let us hope that she will weaken him.
00:40:14It's a great life if you don't weaken.
00:40:17You're a great guy if you won't weaken.
00:40:20If you don't lose half the hardest part is the first hundred years.
00:40:24There's a lot of gas in there for breakfast this morning.
00:40:26And you better get busy, Albert, or you'll break your contract.
00:40:29I've got to get busy, all right.
00:40:31I've got to think of some scheme that will get me out of here.
00:40:35And I can't get out soon enough.
00:40:37I'm always in danger that she'll find out that I'm a waiter, and then I'll lose her.
00:40:42Sure.
00:40:43Heh.
00:40:44It's a great life if you don't.
00:40:47Oh, Paul.
00:40:49Paul.
00:40:51I've got an idea.
00:40:53All I have to do is to make them fire me.
00:40:57Why, of course if they fire me.
00:40:58I don't have to pay.
00:41:01Oh, you just watch me.
00:41:04Oh, ho, ho.
00:41:07Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
00:41:09Good morning.
00:41:10Good morning.
00:41:11Good morning.
00:41:12Good morning.
00:41:13And good morning.
00:41:15Never mind the good mornings.
00:41:16I'm not here to talk.
00:41:17I'm here to eat.
00:41:18Yes, sir.
00:41:18I'll be right with you.
00:41:30Well, what are you doing now?
00:41:31Why did we come here?
00:41:33Wake up.
00:41:33Wake up.
00:41:34Albert, what are you doing?
00:41:35Don't you realize this is breakfast?
00:41:36Oh, yes.
00:41:37Yes.
00:41:37How stupid of me.
00:41:39What would I have for breakfast?
00:41:41You bring me radishes, salmon grapes.
00:41:44Wake up.
00:41:44Oh, wait up.
00:41:45Oh, I understand your little game now, Albert, but it won't work.
00:41:48So you refuse to wait on these people.
00:41:50Well, that means that you've broken the contract.
00:41:52So sit still and play your cards and I will wake up.
00:41:55No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:41:56I will wait on them.
00:41:57I will do it, sir.
00:41:58I bet you will.
00:41:59I bet you will.
00:41:59Wake up.
00:42:00Wake up.
00:42:00Coming, sir.
00:42:01Coming.
00:42:01What's the matter with you?
00:42:02When I call, waiter, I want action.
00:42:04I'm sorry, sir.
00:42:05I am sorry.
00:42:07What will you have, sir?
00:42:08Well, let's see here.
00:42:09How about a watermelon to start with?
00:42:11Yes, sir.
00:42:12We have no watermelons today.
00:42:13What did you say?
00:42:14I said, sir, that we have nothing but bananas.
00:42:16And when I think of it, sir, yes, sir, we have no bananas.
00:42:20We have no bananas today.
00:42:21Why, what are you talking about?
00:42:22Distinctly says watermelon on the menu here.
00:42:25So it is.
00:42:26Oh, my mistake, sir.
00:42:27My mistake.
00:42:28Raspberries for two.
00:42:30That's enough.
00:42:31We will go somewhere where we can have breakfast.
00:42:33Oh, Mr. Brando, Mr. Brando.
00:42:35Oh, sir.
00:42:43Well, do we get any service here?
00:42:44What is this?
00:42:45Right away, sir.
00:42:46What will you have?
00:42:47I want a cognac and a large coffee.
00:42:48Immediately.
00:42:49Yes, sir.
00:43:03Look what you're doing, you fool.
00:43:05Provider.
00:43:05Provider.
00:43:06What is it?
00:43:06Well, look for yourself.
00:43:08But, Albert, you're using the wrong glasses.
00:43:10No, no, but I'm doing you a great favor, sir.
00:43:13A favor?
00:43:14What are you talking about?
00:43:15Yes.
00:43:15I'm giving you a large cognac because it's hot water, you see?
00:43:20And I'm giving you a small coffee because this morning the coffee has been made out of tobacco juice.
00:43:25Out!
00:43:25I've had enough.
00:43:26Open, Mr. Johnson.
00:43:27I want another word.
00:43:29I want another word.
00:43:29And I apologize to your waiter.
00:43:30If it wasn't for his honesty, I would have been cheated.
00:43:32And I've spread the news that the little cafe is a dirty duck.
00:43:37Oh!
00:43:37Take your apron off at once.
00:43:39You're fired!
00:43:40Great!
00:43:41Hooray!
00:43:41No, no, no, no.
00:43:42I didn't fire you.
00:43:43Oh, very well.
00:43:44Then I will continue with my duties.
00:43:46Oh, Albert, I want to see you as you should be.
00:43:48Oh, but don't worry.
00:43:49You've seen nothing yet.
00:43:51Oh, don't, don't, don't, don't.
00:43:57Ladies and gentlemen, I will recommend these nice hors d'oeuvres.
00:44:02They're delicious.
00:44:03Who will have some?
00:44:05Here I come, everybody!
00:44:07Hey, hey.
00:44:09Albert!
00:44:10Albert!
00:44:11Oh, oh, oh!
00:44:14Oh, no, no.
00:44:15Oh, no, no, my Kitty!
00:44:17I said experiment!
00:44:18Oh, no, please.
00:44:19Oh, no, please, madam.
00:44:21I can assure you that he just...
00:44:27I'll bring you back for this.
00:44:29Will you have your breakfast now, sir?
00:44:31No, you scandal!
00:44:33You crook!
00:44:34Oh, you should eat something, Mr. Philber.
00:44:36Get out of my shop!
00:44:38Very well, I'm fired!
00:44:39No, no, no! I didn't fire you!
00:44:42Go down to the kitchen!
00:44:44All right, sir. Then I'll see you at lunch.
00:44:55Oh, I'm ruined! I'm ruined!
00:44:58Well, how is everything going?
00:45:00Oh, get out of here! Get out of here!
00:45:01I'm going crazy! I can't stand it!
00:45:04Oh, my dear, will you look around you!
00:45:06Not a single soul for breakfast!
00:45:08Albert has driven them all out!
00:45:10He did everything but some chairs at them!
00:45:12Oh, we're ruined! We're ruined!
00:45:14I've got another idea!
00:45:15Mr. Phillips!
00:45:16Oh, get him out of here before I kill him!
00:45:18But you must listen!
00:45:19I told you that Albert was in love with a beautiful woman!
00:45:22Well, we'll tell him that enough he behaves.
00:45:24People tell her that he's just awake!
00:45:26That will stop him! Don't worry about that!
00:45:28Get out of here! We'll tell him at once!
00:45:30Yes, I'll call him!
00:45:31No, wait a minute!
00:45:32Listen, it would frighten him a lot more if we tell him when they're together!
00:45:35Papa, we'll go to that nightclub tonight!
00:45:38She's right!
00:45:38And unless he promises to behave,
00:45:40it'll give me the greatest pleasure to tell her all about him!
00:45:42Oh, no, my dear chato!
00:45:43You haven't a chance!
00:45:44The pleasure will be mine!
00:45:46No, you're wrong, Papa!
00:45:47I am the one that's going to tell her!
00:45:49I am the one!
00:46:09Oh, yes.
00:46:14Uh, did you call me Miss Yvonne?
00:46:16Yes!
00:46:16I continue to ask you something.
00:46:17I want to ask you something!
00:46:18Yes, Miss Yvonne!
00:46:18Is Albert gone?
00:46:19bonne Legacy.
00:46:20Yes, Miss Yvonne.
00:46:20I understand he goes to a nightclub every night with a woman.
00:46:24Yes, Miss Hiron.
00:46:25And do you think he'll be there tonight?
00:46:27Yes, I'm sure he will.
00:46:29He loves it there.
00:46:30Well, he won't love it tonight, Paul.
00:46:32I'm going to tell her he's a waiter.
00:46:34Yes.
00:46:35Yes, I knew you'd tell her just as soon as you found it out.
00:46:39How did you know it?
00:46:41Because I knew you'd be so jealous.
00:46:43Jealous?
00:46:44Of course.
00:46:45What am I jealous about?
00:46:47Because you love him.
00:46:49Love him?
00:46:50Of course.
00:46:52Love him?
00:46:53And all I've ever done is to fight him.
00:46:55Of course.
00:46:56Because you love him.
00:46:58But when he sees you dressed up like that,
00:47:02I think he'll realize the only reason he ever fought with you is because he loves you.
00:47:10Ain't love funny?
00:47:16Phil.
00:47:28Ali.
00:47:29Oh, my God.
00:47:31Oh, my God.
00:47:37Oh, my God.
00:47:39Oh.
00:47:49Yes, always waiting. I wish I had a lover I didn't have to wait for. I'm very tired of it.
00:47:54And is he mysterious as ever? Just the same. I know no more about him than I did the first
00:47:58day I met him.
00:47:59What he does in the daytime, I wish I knew. And he simply refuses to tell you.
00:48:03I never saw a man so tired. And every morning at 6.30, I almost go crazy.
00:48:09I can't get you. He was still born. That alarm clock.
00:48:16Say, how would you like to meet that banker friend of Pluvius? You know, he's ridiculously rich.
00:48:21You mustn't be too generous. Well, so long. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. See you later.
00:48:32She's got here. She's got here. What about your friend? Is she coming?
00:48:37No, dear. No chance. She's leaving here, my dear.
00:48:40But listen, I'm talking to you. I'm telling you something. I won't stand for it. I tell you, I won't
00:48:44stand for it.
00:48:45What is the trouble? What is it?
00:48:47I won't sing over there. It's two near the main entrance.
00:48:50How do you expect me to sing standing in a draft from the street?
00:48:53Table's one here. Well, look for some place under the stairs.
00:48:56Under the stairs? Say, why don't you put me in the cellar?
00:48:59If you don't do as I say, I'll throw you out.
00:49:02You and who else?
00:49:04Hello. How is it?
00:49:06Wonderful as you look tonight.
00:49:07Delighted to see you, Mr. Pluvius.
00:49:08Here. I want you to meet our friend, Mr. Gaston.
00:49:11How do you do, Mr. Gastonet?
00:49:13Won't you join us?
00:49:15Sorry, but I'm waiting for a friend.
00:49:16Now, you wouldn't keep a lady waiting, would you, Mr. Gastonet?
00:49:19I wouldn't, Dad.
00:49:20Hello.
00:49:24Hello.
00:49:27Mr. Lollifont. This is Mr. Gastonet.
00:49:29How do you do, Mr. Lollifont?
00:49:33Hello, darling.
00:49:34Couldn't you manage to come a little later?
00:49:36Oh, let's not quarrel tonight, darling.
00:49:39I'm too tired.
00:49:41Oh, last night you weren't tired.
00:49:42Oh, but tonight I must sleep on my feet.
00:49:46What will you have, sir?
00:49:48A waiter.
00:49:50Send me a waiter.
00:49:52Very good, sir.
00:49:54I don't like that manager.
00:49:56I hate managers.
00:49:58They remind me of proprietors.
00:50:00What's that to get mad about?
00:50:02Because I hate proprietors.
00:50:04Oh, right. What of it?
00:50:08Good evening, sir.
00:50:09Good evening.
00:50:10Good evening.
00:50:11What would you like tonight?
00:50:13Croquettes, liberalize?
00:50:15Croquettes?
00:50:15No.
00:50:16No, you can't keep your croquettes.
00:50:19Someday I will tell you what they put in them.
00:50:21No, no.
00:50:22Scramble eggs.
00:50:23Yes, sir.
00:50:24And no cheese.
00:50:25No cheese, sir?
00:50:25No cheese.
00:50:27Those old pieces of rotten cheese that have to be cooked to live again.
00:50:32Asparagus sticks.
00:50:33Yes, sir.
00:50:34And after that, some cold meat, perhaps.
00:50:37Cold meat?
00:50:38Oh, cold meat.
00:50:40You mean the meat that the dirty cook puts in the dirty plate with his dirty fingers?
00:50:45No, no, no, no.
00:50:47You're disgusting.
00:50:48And so is the meat.
00:50:50Beg pardon, sir.
00:50:51I wish you could stay our kitchen.
00:50:52Oh, no.
00:50:53Oh, no.
00:50:54I don't want to see any kitchen.
00:50:57Yes, sir.
00:51:26I've kept you, my dear.
00:51:27Albert.
00:51:29Where is he?
00:51:30Over there.
00:51:32Go right over and tell him.
00:51:35I don't feel like it now.
00:51:37Hmm?
00:51:37I do.
00:51:39My revenge is here.
00:51:42I'll forgive you, Miss John, darling.
00:51:44Just chill out.
00:51:44I'm all right, dear.
00:51:45I'll feel much better now.
00:51:48Good evening, Albert.
00:51:53My old friend, Mr. Philibert.
00:51:56Yes, your old friend, Mr. Philibert.
00:52:00Well, how is everything?
00:52:03Everything is going to be all right.
00:52:05I think, for me, what do you think?
00:52:10Oh, but you haven't introduced me to your friend.
00:52:13Oh, no.
00:52:14I'm sorry.
00:52:14Miss Berger, I want you to meet my old friend, Mr. Philibert.
00:52:18How do you do?
00:52:19Oh, so pleased to meet you.
00:52:21I'll be right back, darling.
00:52:22Albert.
00:52:22No, I have a very scientific matter to explain to this man.
00:52:26I'll be right back.
00:52:29He has a very scientific matter to explain to me.
00:52:34Oh, that's funny.
00:52:37That's a good one.
00:52:41Mr. Philibert, first of all, I want to ask you a question.
00:52:45Yes, Albert.
00:52:46What is it you want to know?
00:52:48Well, I want to ask you if you ever got a punch right on the nose.
00:52:54Now, the scientific difference between a punch landing on half of the nose
00:52:59or on the whole of the nose is amazing.
00:53:03You see, a blow, a blow landing on the side of the nose
00:53:07often pushes the nose over to the other side of the face.
00:53:11But a blow landing right on the nose leaves nothing of the nose at all.
00:53:16But that is not all.
00:53:18Along with the disappearance of the nose,
00:53:21there is a sensation absolutely unique.
00:53:25And it can only be felt to be realized.
00:53:29You see?
00:53:30So now, if you will excuse me, I'll hurry back
00:53:32because this lady thinks that I am a gentleman.
00:53:39Did you meet me, darling?
00:53:41Albert!
00:53:43The man you just spoke to, what is he doing?
00:53:55Yes, what is he doing?
00:54:00Don't you play any wrong notes.
00:54:02Don't play off this.
00:54:02And as long as you're writing, it might just as well play as you're writing.
00:54:05What are you going to sing?
00:54:06A beautiful song called Cuckoo in Springtime.
00:54:09Oh, that sounds terrible.
00:54:11Can't you sing something else?
00:54:12Say, don't you tell me what to sing.
00:54:14I've been singing Cuckoo for 25 years.
00:54:16I'm too old a bird to have you tell me where to get off.
00:54:19Well, go ahead and get it over with.
00:54:21All right, but get that face of yours out of my sight and I'll start.
00:54:24Come on now, everybody ready.
00:54:25I'm sorry I've been such a bore, darling.
00:54:27But now I'm going to be different.
00:54:29We'll talk of nothing but guilty.
00:54:31We'll stay here all night.
00:54:33All night long.
00:54:41Let's go.
00:54:41But darling, I haven't finished my supper.
00:54:43We'll go somewhere else.
00:54:44That voice drives me crazy.
00:54:46You go first.
00:54:46Albert, you must calm yourself.
00:54:48Waiter.
00:54:48Yes, madame.
00:54:49What is...
00:54:50No, dear.
00:54:50I was calling the waiter.
00:54:51Yes, madame.
00:54:52Go and tell that singer to stop singing.
00:54:54There's a very important man here.
00:54:55And her singing makes him extremely nervous.
00:54:57Albert, dear, sit down.
00:54:59Sit down.
00:54:59Albert, what is the matter?
00:55:01That voice?
00:55:02Don't you realize, darling, if you're not careful, you'll get nervous.
00:55:05If you're asking Albert here, please.
00:55:07That voice.
00:55:07Now, darling.
00:55:09Wait a minute.
00:55:10Say, just who is this important man I'm making nervous?
00:55:13Show him to me.
00:55:14Albert.
00:55:16Excuse me, darling.
00:55:17I forgot to wash my hands.
00:55:19Oh, my God.
00:55:22Albert.
00:55:23Albert.
00:55:24What are you doing here?
00:55:27I'm working, of course.
00:55:28Oh, what a lovely coincidence.
00:55:30I'm a singer here, and you're a waiter here.
00:55:34Isn't that lovely?
00:55:36But, Albert, there are too many pretty women here to suit me.
00:55:39I warn you, don't you let me catch you flirting.
00:55:41Oh, you won't.
00:55:42You won't.
00:55:43If I can help it.
00:55:44Albert seems very nervous tonight.
00:55:46Oh, he's terribly nervous.
00:55:47And I'm tired of sitting alone.
00:55:49May I join you now?
00:55:50Please.
00:55:50Won't you?
00:55:52And there'll be room for Albert, too.
00:55:53Uh, waiter.
00:55:54They're calling you.
00:55:55No, no.
00:55:56That is not my table.
00:55:58Albert.
00:55:59Come on.
00:56:01Who is that woman calling you so familiarly?
00:56:03I don't know.
00:56:04Just a woman.
00:56:05Who?
00:56:06A woman.
00:56:09Did you call, dear?
00:56:10You said enough to that poor singer.
00:56:12You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
00:56:13Sit down.
00:56:14No, I think I'd better go and apologize.
00:56:16No, no, don't bother.
00:56:17Sit down.
00:56:18Sit down.
00:56:19Don't pull me down.
00:56:20Perhaps she doesn't like the present cup thing.
00:56:22Oh, that's absurd.
00:56:23I think you're all very charming.
00:56:25Then why don't you sit down?
00:56:28I'm going to sit down.
00:56:31I'm going to sit down.
00:56:34Albert!
00:56:35I'll be right back.
00:56:37Were you going to sit down with those guests?
00:56:38Don't be absurd.
00:56:39I heard that woman tell you to sit down.
00:56:41No, you know, you know, there'll be drunk, you see?
00:56:43And the thing is very cute for a waiter to sit down.
00:56:46I forbid you to sit down.
00:56:48I forbid you to stand around like this.
00:56:50Now go ahead and sing.
00:56:51Yes, she has a beautiful voice.
00:56:53Oh, I beg pardon.
00:56:54I didn't notice that you were talking to her.
00:56:57Why is that manager so polite to you?
00:56:59I saved his life tonight.
00:57:00You almost fell on the stove.
00:57:02Albert!
00:57:03There's that woman calling you again.
00:57:05I will have to go.
00:57:06And you'd better go and sing.
00:57:11Well, what will you have now?
00:57:13What?
00:57:14Albert, I'll give you one more chance.
00:57:16If you don't sit down, I'll get up.
00:57:18And you'll never see me again.
00:57:21Did you try the brandy here?
00:57:23It's one of the best.
00:57:25All right.
00:57:27One more chance.
00:57:29It's a good evening, eh?
00:57:32Cook!
00:57:33Oh, I've got a cramp in my leg.
00:57:35Oh, darling.
00:57:36You're so terribly nervous tonight, dear.
00:57:40Take your hands off of his head.
00:57:41Who are you talking to?
00:57:43I'm talking to you.
00:57:44I'm telling you to take your hands off that waiter.
00:57:47Waiter?
00:57:47Yes, waiter.
00:57:49Albert!
00:57:49What's she talking about?
00:57:50Stand up.
00:57:51No, I'd rather sit down.
00:57:52But Albert, she calls you a waiter.
00:57:54She's crazy with the heat.
00:57:55You're crazy with the heat.
00:57:56Crazy with the heat, eh?
00:57:57I'll show you.
00:57:58Where's the manager?
00:58:00Well, she's a mission therapist, Albert Lourifloch.
00:58:02He's the most famous man about town.
00:58:03She's mistaken him for somebody else.
00:58:05Why, of course she has.
00:58:06I don't know.
00:58:07Why, everybody knows Albert Lourifloch.
00:58:08He's one of the most famous, many parents.
00:58:11This girl knows all about him.
00:58:12Tell that blonde thing she's making love to a waiter.
00:58:15I wouldn't tell that blonde thing anything.
00:58:17What do I tell what she does?
00:58:18How dare you call me a blonde thing?
00:58:19I'll call you worse than that.
00:58:21She's bad enough, but you're, you're maybe right.
00:58:23What?
00:58:23This thing works for a living, but you, you'll take every cent he has, and then do you know
00:58:27what you'll do?
00:58:29You'll kick him out in the street and forget he was ever alive.
00:58:32Albert, do you hear what she's saying?
00:58:34Get up and throw her out.
00:58:35Come on.
00:58:36Say, say, leave her alone.
00:58:41Come on, I'll take you home.
00:58:42I don't need you.
00:58:44I'll get home by night's night.
00:58:45No, I'll take you home.
00:58:46Let me go.
00:58:54Good morning.
00:58:55Good morning.
00:58:57I'm in a hurry, sir.
00:58:59Very well, sir.
00:59:06Just a moment.
00:59:09Uh, thank you, sir.
00:59:13Albert.
00:59:14Albert.
00:59:15Wake up.
00:59:16Go away.
00:59:18Wake up, Albert.
00:59:19Say, say, leave that girl alone.
00:59:24Drunk again.
00:59:27The, the, the door.
00:59:30Yes, sir.
00:59:32Albert, you gotta get up.
00:59:34Wait a minute.
00:59:35Wait a minute.
00:59:36Wait a minute.
00:59:38To lose, do you know what time it is?
00:59:40No.
00:59:41Why didn't the clock ring?
00:59:42Where is it?
00:59:43Oh, I don't see it.
00:59:45Oh, somebody has stolen it.
00:59:47It's another flood against me.
00:59:49Come in.
00:59:51What have you got?
00:59:53Two gentlemen are appalling, sir.
00:59:55Oh, it's probably the police.
00:59:58Mr. Henri Plouvier, General de Carradet.
01:00:02What shall I tell the gentleman, sir?
01:00:04Tell them I've gone out of town.
01:00:08Mr. Lorifant.
01:00:10Mr. Lorifant.
01:00:12Mr. Lorifant.
01:00:16I want you to meet General de Carradet.
01:00:18My dear, sir.
01:00:19Very good, General.
01:00:19We are here on a very solemn mission.
01:00:21The General will explain.
01:00:22Mr. Lorifant.
01:00:23Would you like a chair, General?
01:00:26Please.
01:00:27Mr. Lorifant.
01:00:28I have come here with Mr. Plouvier on behalf of our friend, Mr. Gastonet.
01:00:33Last night, or this morning to be exact, you grossly insulted Mr. Gastonet.
01:00:38And, as one gentleman to another, he expects satisfaction.
01:00:41Oh, dear.
01:00:44A duel, General?
01:00:46A duel.
01:00:48You don't mean with sword?
01:00:50No, I do not.
01:00:51Oh, good.
01:00:52I mean with guns.
01:00:53Oh.
01:00:54The place elected for this duel is Versailles.
01:00:57The time, six o'clock tomorrow morning.
01:00:58We will dispense for the meeting of the seconds until we meet at the field.
01:01:03Mr. Plouvier and myself will second Mr. Gastonet.
01:01:06And we hope that the seconds you choose will be equally distinguished.
01:01:10We'll bid you good morning, sir.
01:01:12And await your pleasure.
01:01:19May I await our pleasure?
01:01:26Oh, Paul, Paul, what am I going to do?
01:01:29I never found a pistol in my life.
01:01:30Neither have I.
01:01:32We couldn't hit them between us.
01:01:34And seconds.
01:01:35Where shall I find any seconds?
01:01:37I'll be one of your seconds, Albert.
01:01:40That ought to help.
01:01:41Oh, Albert.
01:01:43Did you think of a way I could get out of it?
01:01:45No, I thought of a second second.
01:01:48Aren't you thoughtful?
01:01:49Pierre, the cook, will be your second, Albert.
01:01:53A couple of hot seconds.
01:01:55We ought to do well.
01:01:56But Pierre is an old soldier.
01:01:58He'll teach you how to shoot.
01:02:00But what are you so enthusiastic about?
01:02:03Where do you think I'm going tomorrow?
01:02:05Me and my second.
01:02:07Well, speak in a second, you'd better hurry.
01:02:09You'll be late to the little cafe.
01:02:11You're right.
01:02:12Don't let me be late.
01:02:14It looks like my last day.
01:02:16My last day.
01:02:22One.
01:02:23Two.
01:02:25Three.
01:02:30Now watch me, Albert.
01:02:32And remember,
01:02:34the most important thing in a duel
01:02:37is not to shoot first,
01:02:39but to aim straight.
01:02:42Now see how slow I aim the gun
01:02:45before I fire.
01:02:54Bang.
01:02:57Now, see?
01:03:00Pierre, Pierre,
01:03:01why do you keep aiming at me?
01:03:03The duel's over.
01:03:05What's the difference?
01:03:06It ain't loaded.
01:03:06Oh, all right, good.
01:03:10If he shoots first,
01:03:12what's the use of me shooting at all?
01:03:15Listen, dumb bell.
01:03:16He's a banker.
01:03:18You're a waiter.
01:03:19Is that right?
01:03:20That's right.
01:03:22All right.
01:03:23Now that means
01:03:24that at best,
01:03:26you're both a couple of rotten shots.
01:03:28Speed ain't gonna mean a thing.
01:03:31It's the guy
01:03:31that takes
01:03:32the longest time
01:03:34to aim the gun
01:03:35going to bring home the baker.
01:03:38Oh, yes.
01:03:39Yes, I see what you mean.
01:03:41All right.
01:03:41Now let me see you do it, Albert.
01:03:44Don't let me see you do it
01:03:46one second faster than I did.
01:03:49Take your places.
01:03:50What are you doing?
01:03:51Good morning.
01:03:54Albert,
01:03:54what are you doing with that gun?
01:03:56I'm going to find a duel
01:03:58tomorrow morning.
01:03:59I still will.
01:04:00Tomorrow morning.
01:04:02That's funny.
01:04:04What's funny about it?
01:04:05Because it's a good joke.
01:04:07But it's time to stop fooling
01:04:08and get to work.
01:04:10And get to work
01:04:11after I've done any of the practicing.
01:04:13There's a waiter.
01:04:14You need plenty of practice.
01:04:15Suppose you start on these tablecloths.
01:04:23I don't believe you.
01:04:29Pleasure.
01:04:30Oh, Albert.
01:04:32Are you ready?
01:04:33Well, stop shoving me.
01:04:34Ready.
01:04:35I can't hardly wait.
01:04:38One, two, three.
01:04:42Take your time.
01:04:43I'd like to take a shot
01:04:45at something right now.
01:04:47Stop talking
01:04:48and take your time.
01:04:49And I could hit anything.
01:04:55Only one hand on it.
01:04:57I'd have to be in his shoes tomorrow.
01:05:00Aim and take your time.
01:05:02Ha, ha.
01:05:03Just watch me.
01:05:08Fire.
01:05:09Bang.
01:05:15Hey.
01:05:17I guess it was loaded.
01:05:20And look where I hit.
01:05:21I missed him by a mile.
01:05:30Well, we're here first anyway.
01:05:33Hmm?
01:05:34And something tells me
01:05:35we're going to leave last.
01:05:36Don't worry, Albert.
01:05:37Nothing can go wrong
01:05:39if you take your time.
01:05:46He's having a good time, eh?
01:05:48Yes, I see.
01:05:50I see.
01:05:51What do you see?
01:05:53I don't see anything.
01:05:55This will probably be the spot.
01:05:57Don't you think
01:05:58that I'm right, Paul?
01:05:59Ah, I didn't hear
01:06:01what you said.
01:06:02I said this would be the spot.
01:06:05No, no, I won't do it here.
01:06:07What's the matter with it?
01:06:09I don't like the looks of it.
01:06:10Why not?
01:06:11It's the most level
01:06:12patch of ground around here.
01:06:14That's the trouble with it.
01:06:16It's too level.
01:06:17It would be much better
01:06:18if it was more, uh, hilly.
01:06:20I suppose, Albert,
01:06:22you would rather fight
01:06:22behind a tree.
01:06:23I will, if he will.
01:06:34Gentlemen, gentlemen.
01:06:38Good morning, gentlemen.
01:06:40Good morning, gentlemen.
01:06:41Hello.
01:06:42Where is your other second?
01:06:43Right over there.
01:06:45Uh, good morning.
01:06:47Mr. Orifan,
01:06:48kindly introduce me
01:06:49to your seconds.
01:06:50General de Carodegg,
01:06:52this is Mr. Pierre Bourdin.
01:06:53How do you do, sir?
01:06:55How do you do, sir?
01:06:56General de Carodegg,
01:06:57this is Mr. Paul Michel.
01:06:59How do you do, sir?
01:07:00I'm glad to meet you, General.
01:07:02Gentlemen,
01:07:03I want you to meet Mr. Blubier
01:07:05and Mr. Gastonet.
01:07:07Gentlemen.
01:07:08Gentlemen.
01:07:08Gentlemen.
01:07:10Mr. Orifan.
01:07:12I want you to meet
01:07:13Dr. Lott, you may.
01:07:15Uh, greetings,
01:07:16Mr. Orifan.
01:07:17Oh, doctor.
01:07:18Uh, gentlemen.
01:07:19Gentlemen.
01:07:20Uh, gentlemen.
01:07:21Gentlemen.
01:07:22Gentlemen.
01:07:22Gentlemen.
01:07:22Uh, gentlemen.
01:07:24Gentlemen.
01:07:25Huh?
01:07:26Gentlemen.
01:07:33What do we do next?
01:07:34Take your time, Albert.
01:07:35That's all you've got to do.
01:07:36Take your time.
01:07:38Uh, Mr. Bourdin.
01:07:39Come in, General.
01:07:42I'm going.
01:07:43No, no, Albert.
01:07:44It won't do any good now.
01:07:45It's too late.
01:07:46I could run faster
01:07:47than anybody on this field.
01:07:49Uh, they might shoot you
01:07:50in the bank.
01:07:51Albert.
01:07:52Albert.
01:07:53I've just learned
01:07:54from the General
01:07:55that the banker
01:07:56is not the man
01:07:56that I thought he was.
01:07:58You mean to say
01:07:59that he's afraid?
01:08:00Afraid?
01:08:00I should say not.
01:08:02Before he settled down
01:08:02in the banking business,
01:08:03he was an officer
01:08:04in the 22nd who's ours.
01:08:06And this will make
01:08:06his sixth duel.
01:08:08Oh.
01:08:09Therefore,
01:08:09you must forget everything
01:08:10that I told you yesterday.
01:08:12Your only chance
01:08:12is to shoot first.
01:08:14You cannot afford
01:08:14to lose a second.
01:08:16Hold me up.
01:08:17Mr. Bourdin!
01:08:18Right away, General.
01:08:20Remember, Albert,
01:08:21your only chance
01:08:22is speed.
01:08:25My only chance
01:08:26is gone.
01:08:28My only chance
01:08:29is to face it
01:08:30bravely.
01:08:31That's all.
01:08:39What's this, Doctor?
01:08:41Uh, band-aids,
01:08:42Mr. Lauriton.
01:08:43Oh.
01:08:45And what's these, Doctor?
01:08:47Uh, faucets.
01:08:48What are faucets for?
01:08:50Uh, faucets
01:08:50are what we proved
01:08:52for the bullet whistle.
01:08:53Ah, yes.
01:08:54Of course.
01:08:54Of course.
01:08:56And here we have
01:08:57the ether,
01:08:58stretchers,
01:08:59in fact,
01:09:00everything we need
01:09:01for the wounded man.
01:09:03Hmm.
01:09:03That's nice, eh?
01:09:05Mr. Lauriton,
01:09:06everything is ready.
01:09:07Your chief second
01:09:08has your pistol.
01:09:09He will give you
01:09:10your final instructions.
01:09:11Oh.
01:09:12One thing more,
01:09:13Mr. Lauriton.
01:09:13Yeah.
01:09:14The name
01:09:15and address
01:09:16of your nearest
01:09:17relative.
01:09:19Albert!
01:09:20Albert!
01:09:21Albert!
01:09:22Who is this girl?
01:09:24Yvonne.
01:09:24Yes, Yvonne.
01:09:25You didn't expect me,
01:09:26did you?
01:09:26What are you talking about?
01:09:27Who are you?
01:09:27How dare you come here
01:09:28and interrupt these gentlemen?
01:09:29Oh, gentlemen.
01:09:30These gentlemen,
01:09:31you say.
01:09:31Well, that's just
01:09:31the reason I'm here.
01:09:33You see this gentleman here?
01:09:34Oh, you'd have you all
01:09:35believe he's a gentleman,
01:09:36but he isn't.
01:09:37He's just a waiter.
01:09:38A waiter?
01:09:39What is she talking about?
01:09:40I'm talking about this waiter.
01:09:42My father's the proprietor
01:09:43of the little cafe,
01:09:44and Albert is our waiter.
01:09:45Is that the truth?
01:09:47Well, what of it?
01:09:49What of it?
01:09:49He admits it.
01:09:50He admits it.
01:09:51What of it?
01:09:52Why, you miserable,
01:09:53masquerading worm?
01:09:54You ought to be strung
01:09:55up to the nearest tree.
01:09:56How dare you come here
01:09:57and associate yourself
01:09:58with a gentleman?
01:09:59How dare you?
01:10:00General, this is unbelievable.
01:10:02I never showed a Scotty
01:10:03in my life.
01:10:04Oh, poor Albert.
01:10:05He did so want
01:10:05to be a gentleman.
01:10:06Get out of here.
01:10:07Get out of my sight.
01:10:09You mean to say
01:10:10that the duel is off?
01:10:11Of course it's off.
01:10:12You think I would fight
01:10:13with a waiter?
01:10:19But I'm not a waiter.
01:10:21A reason from the little cafe.
01:10:22And now let me tell you
01:10:24what I think of you.
01:10:25You're facing a man again.
01:10:27And take that.
01:10:29I have a kill!
01:10:30Come on, get your gun.
01:10:32Face it!
01:10:32Albert, you don't understand.
01:10:35Ready.
01:10:38Go!
01:10:41Albert!
01:10:43Albert!
01:10:44Albert, Albert, come on to you!
01:10:45I don't care, let me go!
01:10:46Albert!
01:10:50Yvonne!
01:10:51Yvonne!
01:10:52Doctor, quick!
01:10:53Help!
01:10:53Help!
01:10:54Yvonne!
01:10:55Oh, boy, for she loves me.
01:10:57She loves me.
01:10:58Can't you see?
01:10:58She loves me.
01:11:00Yvonne!
01:11:01Doctor!
01:11:01Come on, quick, quick!
01:11:03Quick!
01:11:05Why, yes!
01:11:05Hey!
01:11:06Hey, you!
01:11:06But Albert,
01:11:07hadn't we better
01:11:08ask them first?
01:11:09Oh, they don't know.
01:11:10They're gentlemen.
01:11:11Hey!
01:11:12Stop that!
01:11:13You'll pay for this?
01:11:14Sure I will.
01:11:15How much do you want,
01:11:16General?
01:11:17Four hundred thousand?
01:11:19Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:11:24Oh, you do love me, eh?
01:11:26I don't love you.
01:11:26You do love me.
01:11:27I don't.
01:11:28But if you don't love me,
01:11:28what did you think?
01:11:29I didn't think.
01:11:30No, no, you didn't think.
01:11:31No, you just went to sleep, eh?
01:11:33I, I just, you just, you just,
01:11:35You just, just a minute.
01:11:36Just a minute.
01:11:40I've always been crazy about you.
01:11:42How dumb you were not to know it.
01:11:43Oh, Yvonne, Yvonne, I'm so happy.
01:11:46I'm so happy.
01:11:46But don't call me dumb.
01:11:49Coo-coo, coo-coo,
01:11:53I wish I was a coo-coo-doo.
01:11:57Coo-coo, coo-coo, coo-coo, coo-coo, coo-coo, coo-coo, you go.
01:12:06Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
01:12:16Oh, uh, uh, uh!
01:12:20Wonderful!aney