00:00For you as someone immersed in this world, have you been surprised by anything that's emerged or has it been
00:05not surprising?
00:06Oh, gosh, that's a great question.
00:08I would say after the last five years and everything that I have dealt with and found out just on
00:14my own research and really digging and trying to find the truth, there's nothing really that surprises me that's in
00:22there.
00:23There is actually so much more that could have gone into this documentary.
00:27There is so much more that is relevant.
00:31So many stories, so many people that wanted to come forward, but really either felt too fearful for their safety
00:39to speak or, you know, maybe they're they're being silenced through NDAs or the law.
00:46Unfortunately, there's there's a lot of people that wanted to talk and share their stories.
00:51So, yeah, a lot more could have gone in into that into into it.
00:55And so I think it's really important for people to share their stories.
00:59And I hope that this is really opened the conversation now for the reality of where the organization is and
01:09where we need to go from here with the changes that have to happen.
01:13Even if these pageants overall want to continue and actually operate as they say they are, they say and are
01:22profiting off of women under the idea that they are empowering women.
01:26But with current operations, if those don't change, I see it just as predatory as of right now.
01:35Absolutely. Yeah, I was really struck by what you shared in the doc about how you said when you were
01:4017, you were pressured into getting lipo.
01:43That was kind of dangerous, right?
01:45Yeah, that was a conversation that I had, you know, preparing for these types of moments.
01:53I mean, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity is what they say.
01:56And, you know, my background, where I'm from, I didn't really have a my childhood was rough, to be quite
02:03honest.
02:03I had a lot of adversity.
02:05There's a lot of themes of abuse and sexual abuse and a lot of things going on in the household
02:12and in my childhood.
02:13And so for me, I knew at a young age I wanted to get out and make a better life
02:17for myself.
02:18And like many others, I was very heavily influenced by media and what was going on in the world back
02:25then.
02:26And I took an, you know, I took the an application out for the military and an application out for
02:32a pageant.
02:32And I was like, one of these ways I'm going to get out of out of here and create a
02:36better life for myself.
02:37But you have to it is a lifestyle when you're preparing.
02:42And so I always knew that I wanted to compete for Miss USA 2008.
02:47I wanted to be Miss USA 2008.
02:50And so I was doing absolutely everything in my power to prepare for that.
02:56And so, you know, when your mentors and people are telling you to do certain things, I wanted it so
03:02bad.
03:02And I was willing to do anything it took to create a better life for myself.
03:07And I saw Miss Universe as that outlet.
03:10So were you explicitly told, like, your only chance to win this is to get lipo?
03:15Or, like, how did that sort of, you know, come about?
03:18No, I was not explicitly told that way.
03:20I think overall, in general, a lot of women and girls feel pressure to do things, you know, to their
03:27body.
03:27And at that time, like, think about how the world really was and how we talked about women in the
03:34media in general.
03:35And also back then, the, you know, fuller figured women were considered a size six.
03:43A size six back then was considered a fuller figured woman.
03:46That's insane.
03:47You know, I can fit into a size six now.
03:51That's crazy.
03:51You know, so really the time period and discussions of body image was a lot different then.
04:00And so, yeah, I wasn't explicitly told to do that.
04:08It was a bigger conversation of what needed to happen for my preparation.
04:14And I needed to lose that inch.
04:17And it was recommended to me that maybe liposuction was the answer since my diets and all my training and
04:24nothing else that I was doing was working to lose that one inch.
04:30So I thought that was my only option at that point.
04:36Absolutely.
04:37And you said you got scars from it.
04:38Do you still have them?
04:39I do still have scars from it.
04:41Yes.
04:41I did not heal well.
04:43I met the surgeon at an after party for Miss Universe, actually, you know, and I was I was with
04:51my team at that time.
04:53And I did not actually have the procedure until after my 18th birthday.
04:58But I I worked like four jobs and saved up for the summer until I turned 18.
05:06So I could actually have the procedure done and not ask, you know, for parental or any sort of, you
05:13know, permission.
05:13So I could legally just do it on my own.
05:15But I didn't tell anyone that I actually did it.
05:17I didn't want anyone to know.
05:19I wanted everyone to think that, oh, I just worked really hard and I lost that one inch, you know,
05:26but it was incredibly dangerous only and it was for one inch.
05:31I didn't have any body fat on me, literally still a teenager, a size two at five ten, you know,
05:39one hundred and twenty five pounds.
05:41And but, you know, I was told, like, you know, there are certain expectations and there are common things that
05:49girls will get like veneers or things like this.
05:51Like there's a lot of things that are really common that girls will get.
05:55And I do think that those conversations are oftentimes happening in as teens, because if they're starting as teens, you
06:03know, but again, you've got to really think about what the environment was.
06:09We had a swimsuit competition, a bikini competition for the teen division in the early 2000s, you know.
06:17So we were very much being judged on our bodies and it was much more focused on on that.
06:25The organization has moved into more inclusivity now, you know, but back then, not so much.
06:32And that's the thing is the organization has always had the power to do this.
06:38They have always had the power to set the tone for beauty standards.
06:42They are the one of the leading biggest brands in the world that is most influential to beauty, to young
06:51women and girls.
06:52So they have always had the power to make these changes and be inclusive.
06:58And so if they are, you know, claiming that they're empowering women, we need to see it through their actions
07:05as well.
07:05And if they really wanted to empower women, these changes should have been made long before all the controversies came
07:13out.
07:14Absolutely.
07:15Now, you also mentioned in the documentary, like sort of wondering in retrospect, like if you are groomed and if
07:21there was a culture of grooming.
07:23Talk to me a little bit about that.
07:26Yeah, so about grooming, I feel that at the end of the day, violence against women is not always physical.
07:37And so there's a lot of things where the lines get blurred.
07:42Now, when you mentioned that like lines are blurred, is it like I think you also said like when you
07:47were sort of a young teen, you had to like share a room with an older male handler.
07:51Was that right?
07:52Yeah, so I'm going to, I would love to discuss more of that in detail.
07:57Unfortunately, right now, some of those things I can't discuss in more detail.
08:01I hope one day I will be soon.
08:04Because of NDAs?
08:07I can't say more.
08:09I would love to.
08:10I'm hoping soon because my First Amendment right is something I will not budge on.
08:16So I'm working on getting total clearance on that.
