- 11 years ago
Insults are always funny… assuming you're not the one being insulted. Join http://www.WatchMojo.com as we count down our picks for yet another Top 10 Funniest Movie Insults.
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00:05Insults are always funny.
00:09The price is wrong, bitch.
00:11Assuming you're not the one being insulted.
00:13Get up there, snowball!
00:15Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we're counting down our picks for yet another Top 10 Funniest Movie Insults.
00:22Where did you get those clothes? At the toilet store?
00:25For this list, we're taking a look at more ill-mannered comments designed to disparage the receiver and humor the
00:32audience.
00:33I don't know who it is.
00:34We don't know who it is.
00:35I'm Schmidt. My pants are full of duty.
00:38Yeah!
00:39Whether they're set in anger or in jest, whether they're speeches, rants, or part of short conversations, they can all
00:45make this list.
00:46You are literally too stupid to insult.
00:50As long as they're meant to belittle someone else.
00:53We're very compatible.
00:55As long as he keeps his mouth shut.
00:57Anyway.
00:58If you didn't see a big screen insult you thought should be on the list, be sure to check out
01:02our first two lists of the Top 10 Funniest Movie Insults.
01:05Why am I even listening to you to begin with?
01:08You're a virgin who can't drive.
01:10Number 10.
01:12You ass turd monkey f***er.
01:14Hamlet 2.
01:15School cannot allow the exhibition of Hamlet 2.
01:18Sometimes, the most random obscenities can amount to the most memorable insults.
01:22In Hamlet 2, drama teacher Dana Marsh plans to put on a musical that will turn heads and make Shakespeare
01:29turn in his grave.
01:30It's called Hamlet 2.
01:33A sequel to Hamlet by Shakespeare?
01:36Yes.
01:37When the principal tries to shut the play down, Dana tells off his boss while also working through some repressed
01:43daddy issues.
01:44You never believed in me, daddy!
01:46I hate you!
01:47He caps off his outburst with a final slur that will appeal to any censored artist.
01:52His foul words might hurt the principal, but the cafeteria door hurts Dana's fingers even more.
01:57And if you don't like it, then tough titties, you ass turd monkey f***er!
02:02Number 9.
02:03There's a name for you ladies.
02:05The women.
02:06Oh, I'll get over that.
02:07Women do.
02:08They have to.
02:09Given all the gossiping and cheating that takes place in the women, it's only appropriate that the movie would end
02:15with somebody being referred to as a bitch.
02:18I beg your pardon?
02:19However, back in 1939, it wasn't exactly considered orthodox for ladies to use such a word in movies.
02:25All recorded their nasty little discs in the most awful sounding language.
02:28Misses.
02:29Through well-constructed dialogue and clever innuendos, though, writers could present coarse language in a genteel manner.
02:36A nice little bout between a couple of lady palookas.
02:38Beaten by her frenemies, Crystal retreats back to the perfume counter, but not before getting the last laugh.
02:45Well, girls, looks like it's back to the perfume counter for me.
02:49She doesn't blatantly say it, but we know what she means.
02:52There's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society.
02:55Outside of a kennel.
02:57Number 8.
02:58Frigid Bitch, Legally Blonde.
03:00It's a costume party.
03:01You probably wouldn't want to come.
03:02Where bitch might have been taboo way back when.
03:05It's now part of our everyday vocabulary.
03:09Well, I've never actually met the woman, but my daughter tells me she can be quite the little bitch.
03:14Even Harvard students use this five-letter word, and Elle Woods utilizes it to great effect in Legally Blonde.
03:20You bitch!
03:23When rival Vivian tricks Elle into believing a fellow student is having a costume party, she shows up in Playboy
03:29bunny attire.
03:30Thanks for inviting me, girls. This party is super fun.
03:33Turns out the invite actually said dress casually.
03:36While embarrassed, Elle keeps her head high and burns the frigid Vivian.
03:41If being a lawyer didn't work out, she always could have majored in insults.
03:45When I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.
03:52Number 7.
03:54Pralines and Dick, Wayne's World.
03:56Give me a flashlight, Russell.
03:58Garth Algar is such a simple, humble guy that it's kind of hard to imagine him insulting anyone, even if
04:03it's behind his or her back.
04:05However, even Garth can't think of anything nice to say about the backstabbing Benjamin, who has no friends.
04:11What are you gonna do? You gonna be Benjamin's monkey boy the rest of your life? Is that it?
04:16Garth perfectly sums Benjamin up by defining him as an ice cream flavor.
04:21Benjamin is no one's friend.
04:23It's one of many classic one-liners from Wayne's World.
04:27But, why we still can't buy a Pralines and Dick cone at our local ice cream parlor is beyond us.
04:33Wait, maybe not.
04:35If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be Pralines and Dick.
04:42Number 6.
04:43Ass Like Chewed Bubblegum, Full Metal Jacket.
04:46I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor.
04:49If you're a cinema trivia nut, you know that R. Lee Ermey improvised most of his sadistic insults in Full
04:55Metal Jacket.
04:56Did your parents have any children that lived?
04:59Sir, yes sir.
04:59I bet they regret that. You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.
05:04Considering Ermey was an actual drill instructor during the Vietnam War, he was born to play Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.
05:11Sir, I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have
05:14the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach around.
05:17The question is, which of his insults should we single out here?
05:20Sir, no sir!
05:22How tall are you, Private?
05:23Sir, five foot nine, sir!
05:25Five foot nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
05:27There are so many quotable ones, but none packs a greater punch than Hartman's comparison of Private Pyle's buttock to
05:34150 pounds of chewed bubblegum.
05:37Your ass looks like about 150 pounds of chewed bubblegum, Pyle, you know that?
05:41But at least Pyle knows how to take severe criticism. Errr, not.
05:46Didn't mommy and daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?
05:53Number five, go shave your back now, Mean Girls.
05:57You are a mean girl! You're a bitch!
06:00War is hell, but high school's no cakewalk either. It's full of jerky guys and mean girls.
06:07That's where you're going, fat ass.
06:11As new student Katie wanders through the cafeteria, she's blindsided by an obscene survey.
06:16Can you answer a few questions?
06:18Okay.
06:19Is your muffin buttered?
06:21Regina George is there, though, to solidify her titles of Queen Bee and Queen of Insults.
06:27My what? Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeez?
06:31Only Tina Fey could pen such a hysterically bitchy line as Regina condemns Jason,
06:36sending him away with his head hanging low and his hairy back hunched.
06:40Do you want to have sex with him? No, thank you.
06:44Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now.
06:47After he's done shaving his back, he can go help shave a fellow student's mom's chest.
06:52Nice to meet you.
06:53Nice wig, Janice. What's it made of?
06:55Your mom's chest hair!
06:56Number four, Shitlocks, The Nutty Professor.
07:00Y'all give it up for my man, Reggie Warren. Give it up!
07:04Usually it's the stand-up comedian who attacks the audience.
07:07But sometimes a heckler can be even funnier than the comic.
07:10Look at this is with a woman too.
07:13Oh no! Who is sucking whose titties over here?
07:18After the overweight, insecure Sherman Klump is transformed into the thin, smooth buddy love,
07:24The Nutty Professor gets revenge by roasting Dave Chappelle's Reggie.
07:28Look at Reggie's gums and teeth. Looked like his mother had a affair with Mr. Ed.
07:33Showing no restraint, Buddy takes shots at everything from Reggie's fat mama to his shitty haircut.
07:39You flippin' on me! Oh, you flippin' on Reggie!
07:44Buddy's insulting words and the piano lid hit Reggie pretty hard.
07:48Hey, ah! Oh, God damn it!
07:51Ladies and gentlemen, me and Reggie want to send one out to a very special lady in the house tonight.
07:57It goes to show that as hilarious as Chappelle is, you never want to try to upstage Eddie Murphy.
08:03Already I heard of dreadlocks, but shitlocks?
08:07That's not your hair! Take that pile of shit off your head!
08:10Number 3. No, your face does. Tommy Boy.
08:14It's nice to see you again, Mr. Insult. Say, have you seen Richard anywhere?
08:18Chris Farley and David Spade always made for an endearing comedic pair with one as the bumbling buffoon and the
08:24other as the sardonic smart aleck.
08:26You know, a lot of people go to college for seven years.
08:29I know. They're called doctors.
08:30Their winning chemistry is best represented in Tommy Boy as the guys set out on a sales trip and wonderfully
08:37work off each other in the process.
08:38Try an association, like, uh, let's say the average person uses 10% of their brain. How much do you
08:44use? 1.5%.
08:46Tommy obviously isn't the best salesman, and his colleague's sarcastic comments don't boost his confidence.
08:52The rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin.
08:55This particular retort is pretty straightforward, but it perfectly encompasses the playful relationship these comedians shared on screen and in
09:03real life.
09:04Hey, does this suit make me look fat? No, no, no. Your face does.
09:06Number 2. 30-year-old sprinkler, 22 Jump Street.
09:11Bring it!
09:12I'm ready.
09:13Every campus has that one stuck-up girl who thinks she's superior and lets everyone else know it.
09:19F***ing learn how to hit!
09:22In MC State University's case, that student is Mercedes.
09:26This blonde prude naturally doesn't approve of her dorm mate fornicating, especially with a guy who looks significantly older.
09:34I'm just saying it's like all fun and games, and then you wake up in bed next to a 40
09:38-year-old freshman.
09:39I'm 19, so...
09:40Judgmentally hovering over the couple before they even wake up, Mercedes lets Schmidt know that he's too old to be
09:46a 19-year-old freshman and way too old to be hooking up with college students.
09:50You're like the loudest climaxer I've ever heard. It was like the sound of like a 30-year-old sprinkler
09:56finally going off for the first time.
09:58Saying everything in stone-faced monotone, it's a lesson in Hilarious Insults 101.
10:03Nice to meet you.
10:05Before our top pick tells us off, here are a few honorable mentions.
10:09I won that! I remember. Your first talkie.
10:12Yeah, what did you ever win? A pie-eating contest?
10:15What do you think of him?
10:18He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless steaming pile of cow dung!
10:24Figuratively speaking.
10:25You're in big trouble, though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
10:29You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
10:33No!
10:37Oi, f***ing ice. Who's speaking to you? He asked him, didn't he?
10:42F***ing ice.
10:44I love that one, Earl. I'll have to remember that one next time I'm climbing off your mom.
10:48For 20 bucks, I'll call the guy a chicken f***er.
10:52Easy ride.
10:54Easy ride. Easy ride. Easy ride.
10:56Easy ride.
10:57License and registration?
10:59Chicken f***er?
11:01Number 1.
11:02Not even interesting enough to make me sick.
11:05The Witches of Eastwick.
11:07Are you trying to seduce me?
11:09I wouldn't dream of seducing you, Alexandra.
11:13This rant from the Witches of Eastwick is like 10 epic insults for the price of one.
11:18Although Daryl Van Horn views himself as God's gift to the world,
11:21Alexandra believes otherwise.
11:23What is it that you think you're doing?
11:27Being as direct with you as I know how.
11:30I thought you might appreciate it.
11:32Tired of Daryl's egotism and seductions, she tells him off with a laundry list of his many negatives.
11:38I would love to f*** you.
11:41Alexandra's remarks are warranted, as Daryl is, in fact, the devil, and likely deserves even harsher words.
11:47Anyway, I always like a little pussy after lunch. What do you say?
11:51As repulsed as Alexandra might be by Daryl, she's not immune to his charms.
11:56You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid.
12:05You have no taste, a lousy sense of humor, and you smell.
12:09You're not even interesting enough to make me sick.
12:11While his cons outweigh his pros, Daryl is just too tempting for Alexandra to resist.
12:21Do you agree with our list?
12:22Sir, yes, sir!
12:23What hilarious insult broke your funny bone?
12:26How do we look? Chubby?
12:29Please politely leave your response in the comments section.
12:32And for more entertaining top tens published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.
12:38Toodaloo, mother f***er!
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12:48you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you...
12:49you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you...
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12:52you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you... you
12:53You