- 9 years ago
Ya know, Eric, we’ve been thinking a lot about you lately and… well, that’s why we wrote this list. Welcome to WatchMojo.com and today we’ll be counting down our picks for the Top 10 Eric Cartman Songs.
For this list, we’re “membering” some of the most indelible serenades featuring our favorite foulmouthed elementary student. These songs could be original pieces thought up by Cartman himself, or covers of timeless classics. Since some of these songs are a smidge unsavory, we’re adding a mature warning just to be safe.
For this list, we’re “membering” some of the most indelible serenades featuring our favorite foulmouthed elementary student. These songs could be original pieces thought up by Cartman himself, or covers of timeless classics. Since some of these songs are a smidge unsavory, we’re adding a mature warning just to be safe.
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00:00You know, Eric, we've been thinking a lot about you lately, and, well, that's why we wrote this list.
00:06Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today, we'll be counting down our picks for the top 10 Eric Cartman songs.
00:17Before we begin, we publish new videos every day, so be sure to subscribe for more great content.
00:22For this list, we're membering some of the most indelible serenades featuring our favorite foul-mouthed elementary student.
00:29These songs could be original pieces thought up by Cartman himself, or covers of timeless classics.
00:34Since some of these songs are a smidge unsavory, we're adding a mature warning just to be safe.
00:44Number 10, In the Ghetto
00:45In the Ghetto, on the cold and gray Chicago moon, another little baby child is born in the ghetto.
00:52When Stan, Kyle, and Eric make their way over to Kenny's house for a sleepover,
00:56Eric can't resist taking jabs at Kenny's impoverished neighborhood.
00:59Singing Elvis Presley's In the Ghetto, Eric takes delight in the melodic verve of his own voice,
01:04without any connoissance of his volume.
01:06Shh, Cartman!
01:08Getting shushed by Stan doesn't seem to stir any manners either.
01:11Eric's awful manners as a houseguest are slightly ironic,
01:14since he has no idea that he and the boys were actually sent over to Kenny's house
01:17to catch Kenny's dreaded chicken pox.
01:19Their moms want them to catch it while they're young.
01:22Oh, yeah.
01:23Catch what?
01:23Nothing.
01:24Come on in, I was just making dinner.
01:26Number 9, I'm not the poorest kid in school.
01:28Days looking brighter, gray skies are turning blue.
01:32Cause I'm not, he's not, he's not the poor kid at ski.
01:35Just tell Cartman that he's not the poorest kid at school, and the boy is stoked.
01:40After Kenny moves to another town,
01:41Eric learns with Butters that he's now the poorest kid at South Park Elementary.
01:45Suffice it to say that Cartman just can't even.
01:48What?
01:49While the arrival of the even less fortunate Jacob Hallery calls for the first version of this tune,
01:53Let's hear it for Jacob Hallery, guys!
01:54it's Kenny's return that allows for Cartman to really rejoice.
01:57His self-serving bliss gets his fingers snapping and his toes a-tapping.
02:01All that matters is no one thinks I'm a two.
02:04Cause I'm not, he's not, he's not, that's right, the poor kid at ski.
02:08And in true South Park fashion,
02:10this moment of levity is cut short by a giant reptilian bird that swoops down and kills poor Kenny,
02:14thus returning Cartman to his social status as the poorest kid in school.
02:19Oh, my mama's so poor she walks down the road with one shoe.
02:23Number 8.
02:24Somalian Pirates We
02:25We drink and we pillage and we do what we please.
02:29We get all that we want for free!
02:30Who could ever forget Cartman's rollicking high seas adventure with a band of Somalian pirates?
02:35It's these times of adventure when Cartman proves that his musical chops are as sharp as his cutlass.
02:40We'll brave the squalls and bust your balls!
02:43Somalian pirates, we!
02:44While pillaging and plundering the Indian Ocean with cutlasses and lightsabers,
02:48Cartman and his crew make time for a boisterous sea shanty that'll blow you down and rouse your spirits.
02:53Can we get a yo-ho-ho and a tricky-la-tee-doo?
02:55With a yo-ho-ho and a tricky-la-tee-doo being a dastardly pirate is like second nature for
03:01Eric Cartman.
03:02And although this song might have been more fitting for 17th century Caribbean pirates,
03:06Cartman's seafaring musical vigor landed him on a high note that would make a Jolly Roger grin.
03:10Arr!
03:11They'll cut off your cock and feed into a crock.
03:14Somalian pirates leave.
03:17Somalian pirates leave!
03:21Number 7.
03:22Finger Bang
03:22Finger bang!
03:24Bang bang!
03:25Hoping to become rich and famous, Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny hopped into the boy band bandwagon
03:31and formed the infamous Finger Bang.
03:33Wendy also joins the band, as does Stan's musical dad, Randy.
03:36Finger bang!
03:38Bang bang!
03:39Completely oblivious to the innuendo of the band's name,
03:42the fab fourth graders performed just one concert at the South Park Mall,
03:45singing their only song, also called Finger Bang.
03:48I'm gonna finger bang bang you into my life!
03:52Girl, you like to finger bang and it's alright!
03:55Although the band never quite soared to success the way Cartman imagined,
03:58it arguably paved the way for future musical endeavours,
04:01like his Christian rock band, Faith Plus One.
04:03And it's up to you to save me!
04:08Jesus, baby!
04:11Oh, holy night!
04:12Oh, holy night!
04:16The stars are brightly shining!
04:21Cartman's enchanting and majestic rendition of this Christmas classic is as heartwarming as it is hysterical.
04:27Likewise, Cartman is as clumsy as he is stupid, as he keeps forgetting the words throughout the song.
04:33Jesus was burnt and so I get presents!
04:39Dapperly dressed and accompanied by a chorus of Christmas angels,
04:42Cartman sings the story of baby Jesus.
04:59Christmas
04:59The result is comparable only to the sensation of soft, sweet honey being poured in your ear by a pair
05:04of fluttering turtle doves.
05:06The spirit of Christmas has been with the South Park boys in many seasons,
05:09with Cartman's adorable love for the holidays showcased when he sings along with good ol' Mr. Hankey aboard the poo
05:14-choo train.
05:15Poo poo train is my favourite thing, spreading Christmas joy as we ride and sing!
05:21Number 5. Give life a try
05:22Eric, we don't want you to die! Eric, give life a try!
05:27While poor Eric is having relationship troubles with Heidi, the rest of South Park is worried about distractive driving awareness.
05:33Plus, there's an idiot president who keeps tweeting stupid things that could cause World War 3.
05:37Bothered by everyone being distracted from serious issues, Cartman picks up the microphone and addresses the lack of attention he's
05:43getting.
05:43But Eric, we don't want you to die! You're so cute, we'd be sad at school!
05:48Later in the school auditorium, Tweek and Craig sing a song about putting down your phone while being president.
05:53Because if you're a president and you're constantly tweeting incoherent, childish drivel, then you probably shouldn't be a president.
05:59Put it down, don't be on your phone while being president!
06:04Cartman steps in once more with a freestyle rap, reminding people not to be distracted from his relationship issues.
06:09Oh, Cartman.
06:11And yet my future's so hazy, my girlfriend's making me crazy, but still I'm working so hard, you know just
06:15trying to hold on!
06:16Number 4. You and Cthulhu
06:18Hey Cthulhu, what's up?
06:20Yes, it is me, the Coon!
06:22Like most 4th graders, Cartman dreams of being a superhero and joining forces with the ruler of darkness, the evil,
06:28hate-filled Cthulhu.
06:30As the Coon, Cartman befriends the interdimensional destroyer of worlds and together they set off on a fantastic adventure to
06:36rid the world of all the things that Cartman hates.
06:38And what would this odd couple adventure be without a kick-ass anime-inspired theme song?
06:44Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu.
06:49Cartman's peppy little spirit soars as he rides the winged, tentacled Cthulhu on a worldwide crusade of blood and carnage.
06:54Together you will have so much fun, sending all my stupid friends to oblivion.
07:01You'll want to enjoy this song again and again as it brings back those beloved memories of Justin Bieber meeting
07:06his doom and being crushed into oblivion.
07:08Yep, that's him. So long Justin Bieber, you little douchebag!
07:13Number 3. Heat of the Moment
07:15My best friend in the whole world is Kenny McCormick and he's sick right now. He's real sick.
07:20Cartman rags on Kenny a lot, but deep down he really loves his muffled little friend.
07:24So much so that he speaks to Congress when Kenny falls terminally ill.
07:28In this heartfelt moment, an adorable, sniffling Cartman finds the right words in the timeless song by the 80s band
07:34Asia.
07:34It was the heat of the moment
07:39Telling me what your heart meant
07:41The heat of the moment
07:44Shown in your ass
07:47Members of Congress join in the chorus and begin to understand the importance of stem cell research.
07:51Then again, maybe it was just the hunger of the moment when Cartman totally didn't care about Kenny
07:55and instead used stem cells to make a Shakey's pizza.
07:59Wah wah
08:00It's my own Shakey's!
08:01It's still an awesome 80s throwback though.
08:03The heat of the moment
08:06Shown in your ass
08:09Number 2. Minorities at my water park
08:17Cartman loves his water park, but when he discovers it occupied with various ethnic peoples, he quickly spirals into a
08:23harrowing, disconsolate stupor of vexation.
08:26The tides have turned and he's become a minority within his own water park.
08:29Somehow though, through the woeful thicket of bewilderment, Cartman musters his feelings into the enduring ballad of our time.
08:35There are too many minorities
08:38Minorities
08:39Minorities
08:39At my water park
08:40My water park
08:42This was our land
08:43Our dream
08:44Our dream
08:45And they've taken it all away
08:47Cartman sings his fat little heart out, while his fat little hands struggle to grasp at the concept of different
08:52cultures coexisting within one water park.
08:55Cartman may be a naive little fourth grader, but you can't deny his talent for turning his sometimes narrow-minded
09:00views into shiny, musical pearls.
09:02God I'm asking please
09:04Get all of these
09:07Minorities
09:09Out of my
09:10Water park
09:13Before we reveal our final pick, here are a few honorable mentions.
09:17Can't read my, can't read my
09:19No he can't read my
09:20Poker face
09:22She's got to love nobody
09:25Look at me, I'm living free
09:27Free and clean amongst the sea people
09:29It's a beautiful day
09:31And I can't stop myself
09:34From smiling
09:35Number 1
09:36Kyle's mom's a bitch
09:37Will
09:38Don't do it Cartman
09:39In the South Park movie, Cartman's hatred of Kyle's mom is eloquently expressed in this fan-favorite musical number.
09:45I'm getting pretty sick of him calling my mom
09:47Will
09:47Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a
09:51stupid bitch and never worth a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys ain't care.
09:53When Cartman originally sang this on the small screen, it was when he was pissed off at Kyle's mom for
09:58ruining Christmas.
09:59But this time, she started a war with Canada, putting Terrence and Phillip in danger.
10:03Come on, you all know the words
10:04Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a mean
10:08old bitch and she's a stupid bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
10:11In the big screen rendition, Cartman capers around the playground and around the world with gusto and finesse, declaring what
10:17a big ol' bitch Kyle's mom is.
10:18Talk to kids around the world, it might go a little bit something like this
10:27This had to be our number one pick, simply because it captures the essence of Cartman's brazen persona.
10:33Cartman isn't just the musical virtuoso the world needs, he's the one it deserves.
10:37Oh, what a frightfully witty song.
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10:57day.
10:57You