- 11 months ago
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🎈
FunTranscript
00:00Look up to the ocean, look up to the stars
00:03Now all about you believe when there's been no hope
00:09You can still believe, still believe in your dreams
00:16In your dreams
00:19In your dreams
00:22In your dreams
00:30Coincidence is a funny thing, you can be walking along, minding your own business
00:35When wallop, something totally unexpected happens
00:38Oh, sorry, no problem
00:41And even though it's not your fault, life can suddenly get a lot more complicated
00:45Excuse me
00:46Me
00:48Hi, I'm Anja, I'm from Sweden
00:52And I'm Svenja
00:53Don't tell me you're from Sweden too
00:55How did you guess?
00:57I'm a secret agent, I'm trained to spot these things
00:59Oh, it sounds like you're just the right person to ask them
01:01Can you tell us the way to the youth hostel, please?
01:05Oh, uh, absolutely
01:05It's straight down there
01:07Uh, turn left at the church
01:09Uh, straight through the roundabout
01:11The roundabout?
01:12Right in the next corner
01:13Right again
01:14Uh, and then you'll see a big old oak tree
01:16That's it
01:16Uh, okay
01:17You can't miss it
01:19Honest
01:19Your accent is, um, very unusual
01:22Do you actually live around here?
01:24Yep
01:24Just stop at the castle
01:26Oh, so
01:27Really?
01:28You must be a noble then
01:30Well, I wouldn't say that
01:32Baronet, perhaps?
01:34I wouldn't say that either
01:35It's okay, we understand
01:37You prefer not to talk about it, right?
01:39You know how it is
01:40Can't be too careful these days
01:42Thank you very much for the directions
01:45Baronet
01:45Ben, it's Ben
01:47Baronet Ben
01:48Cute name
01:49Hope you meet again, Baronet Ben
01:51Sure
01:51Have a nice day, girls
01:52Thank you
01:53Bye
01:54Bye
01:54Baronet Ben
01:57Pretty cool, eh?
01:59I know
01:59I could have told him the truth
02:00But I didn't exactly lie, did I?
02:03Anyway
02:03No harm done
02:04It's not like I'll ever see him again
02:07Baron?
02:10Excuse me, Baron
02:11I hope it isn't an emergency of some stuff, Marcus
02:14I'm not in the mood for emergencies
02:16It's, it's Stumpf
02:17Stumpf?
02:18The Society Towards Upholding Moral Property and Fortitude
02:21Stumpf
02:21Oh, that bunch of cracklers
02:24They should have been locked away years ago
02:26They want to speak to you
02:27They're not getting a donation from me
02:28You can tell them I said so
02:29They want to hire their castle for their annual conference
02:32They what?
02:33I believe they are extremely wealthy
02:35They might pay us a very good fee
02:38They might indeed, Marcus
02:40All right
02:42Let's see what they're offering
02:43Stumpf?
02:47Do we really want people like them here?
02:49Now, Lily
02:50We should be tolerant of others
02:51Even if their views differ from ours
02:53Different is one thing
02:54Being barking mad is another
02:56They shower in their clothes
02:58And think everyone should be asleep by 9pm
03:00Sounds like a fun group
03:01We should sign up, Ben
03:03Lily exaggerates
03:05It's true, they are conservative
03:07Prehistoric
03:08And their values are
03:09Objectionable
03:10But there's nothing wrong with wanting to live according to strict moral principles
03:14That's fine
03:15Let them do what they want
03:16But do they have to insist everyone else is the same?
03:19I know exactly what they mean
03:20We've got some people like that back home
03:22This is Radio Shock
03:25The station that tells the whole truth
03:27And nothing but the truth
03:29Good morning, Alan
03:31G'day, Jock
03:31What are we going to do with all these Muslims we've got here?
03:34Put them in a boat and send them back home
03:35That's what we should do with them, Alan
03:37Spot on, Jock
03:38And what about them Catholics?
03:39They should go too
03:40Protestants
03:41Hindus
03:42Buddhists
03:44Atheists
03:45Get rid of the lot
03:46And women
03:47And farmers
03:48And babies
03:49And people who write left-handed
03:51Anyone who isn't the same as us, Alan
03:54I'm not so sure about sending the women away, Jock
03:56Well, maybe we could keep one or two
03:58As long as they stay quiet and keep in the background
04:01Well, that sounds reasonable
04:02Oh, I'm a reasonable man, Alan
04:04The tragedy with this country is
04:06There aren't enough people like you and me
04:08Especially me
04:10Okay, so they're not that bad
04:13Actually, they're worse
04:15So, Lily, I expect you to be the perfect hostess
04:18Daddy, I think it's better if I'm not there
04:21I'll probably just laugh at them and insult them
04:24Of course you won't
04:25You'll be on your best behavior
04:27And Sam, I'd appreciate it if you'd help too
04:30Sure
04:31And remember, no one's asking you to accept their views
04:33But I want everyone dressed nicely and on your best behavior
04:36No music or teenage laughing and yelling
04:39That sounds like accepting their views to me
04:42It is a purely business arrangement
04:45Nothing more
04:46Yes, Daddy
04:46Very good
04:48I'm off to town for provisions
04:51You can start the preparations while I'm gone
04:53Not that I know much about this stuff
05:00But if we accept money from these stumpers
05:02Doesn't that mean we kind of support them?
05:04Anyway, yes
05:05But if we only did business with people we agreed with
05:08We'd never do any business at all
05:10So it's not a problem, then?
05:12It's only a problem if you think it's a problem
05:14If you don't think it's a problem
05:16Then it's not a problem
05:17Right
05:19Hi
05:28Remember us?
05:29Uh, yeah, of course
05:31We're sorry to intrude
05:32But we had a problem with the youth hostel
05:34So we're turning to you, Baronet
05:36We hope you can help
05:38Girls, I think I might have given you the wrong impression
05:41I'm not a baronet
05:42It's okay
05:43We won't talk to any paparazzi or gossip magazines
05:46You can trust us
05:47Me and my big mouth
05:50Normally I get into trouble when I open it
05:53This time I've landed in it because I didn't
05:55Okay, so what's the problem?
05:58We followed your directions to the youth hostel
06:00But we got lost
06:01And by the time we found it, it was full
06:03And there was nowhere else with any room in the village
06:05And then this rude man bumped into us in the supermarket
06:07And he got very cross
06:09And he told us to go back where we came from
06:10So we don't know what to do
06:11We thought maybe the castle has a spare room
06:15Just for one night
06:16And we'll pay, of course
06:17We won't be any trouble
06:19No
06:19What do I do?
06:23The Baron's not gonna like it
06:24But then he doesn't need to know, does he?
06:27And seeing it was me who got them lost
06:29I really should help them out
06:31You better come in
06:34Thank you so much
06:35You're a true baronet man
06:37Girls, read my lips
06:39I am not a baronet
06:42Got it?
06:43Whatever you say, man
06:44Sure
06:45Honey, Svenja, this is Marcus
06:52Hi
06:53Hi
06:54He'll confirm it for you
06:55Confirm what?
06:57That I'm not a baronet
06:58Well, go ahead, tell them
07:03Certainly, sir
07:04Sir, I mean, Ben
07:07Is not who you think he is
07:09Marcus, what are you doing?
07:11Polishing the silver, sir
07:12Okay
07:16Just remember
07:17I have a long memory, Marcus
07:19Listen
07:20The girls need a room for the night
07:22Any idea where we can put them?
07:23Not tonight
07:24The Baron's dinner
07:25It's my fault the girls are stuck
07:26I gave them wrong directions
07:27To the youth hostel
07:28Ben
07:28If the Stumpfs discover
07:30There's girls staying here alone
07:31They'll never agree to us
07:33Hosting their conference
07:34I'll make sure they stay in their rooms then
07:35This will be a real problem
07:37A problem is only a problem
07:39If you think it's a problem, right?
07:41There's a room at the far end of the south wing
07:49Top floor
07:49What do you think?
08:03It's perfect
08:04You're a lifesaver, Baronet Ben
08:06Look, I'm not the...
08:08Never mind
08:09Make yourself comfortable
08:10The bathroom's just down the stairs
08:11And I'll come back and collect you at dinner time, okay?
08:14Okay
08:14Thanks again
08:15There's no way the Stumps will find him up here
08:21And I'm sure the Baron won't mind helping out a couple of desperate backpackers
08:24Backpackers
08:27Backpackers should be banned
08:28These gruffy girls almost knocked me down in the supermarket with their ridiculous oversized
08:33Backpacks
08:33The Baron has had a nasty experience with a pair of backpackers today, Ben
08:38Norwegians or Swedes or something
08:40Typical Scandinavians
08:41Allowed to run riot across the whole of Europe
08:44No parental controls
08:45All the preparations for dinner going
08:49All in order, Baron
08:50Or
08:51It will be
08:52Right, Ben
08:54Now, Ben
08:56Tonight's guests
08:57Place a high value on traditional values
08:59Right
09:00So
09:00Best behaviour, please
09:01We need to show them
09:03That we run a proper, decent, well-ordered establishment
09:06Sure
09:06I am just remembered
09:09I better go iron, my shirt
09:11I'll do it now
09:12That boy's learning
09:16I think his time in Germany is really changing him for the better
09:19Inside, quick, Svenja
09:23Anya
09:24Where?
09:24Here
09:25What?
09:25How am Anya?
09:26So any of the side?
09:28Is something wrong?
09:29Yes
09:29We have a problem
09:30A seriously big one
09:31What's this problem you have, Ben?
09:33Perhaps we can help
09:34No, the best thing you can do is
09:35Ah, Svenja
09:36Svenja
09:38No
09:38Go back to your room, okay?
09:39Do you know where to find us?
09:40Yeah
09:41Hurry
09:41No, not there, Svenja
09:48Sorry, you can't go in there
09:50Very good
09:51Use the silver suit to read
09:52Nothing but the best for these guests
09:54Quick
09:55In here
09:57Ah, Ben
10:00Anything wrong?
10:03Uh, just thought I'd give the old chest a polish, Baron
10:06Commendable, but not now
10:08Please could change quickly
10:09Our stone for representatives have arrived
10:11What's going on?
10:15No time
10:15Go back to your room and join Anya
10:17I'll be there in two minutes
10:18Whatever you say, Baroness
10:19What's this problem you have, Baroness?
10:33Nothing we can't manage
10:34But it's very important that you stay in your room, okay?
10:37Don't come out unless I say it's okay to come out, okay?
10:39Is it us?
10:41Are we the problem?
10:42What do I tell them?
10:44That the Baron would kick them out?
10:46And that we've got a bunch of loony guests
10:47Who would explode if they saw them?
10:49There's no option
10:50I'll have to tell them the truth
10:52It's the plague
10:53Plague?
10:54The Black Death
10:54Not exactly
10:56I don't mean the plague plague
10:57I mean
10:58A rat plague
10:59Rats?
11:00Big ones
11:01That bite
11:01So you must stay in here for your own safety, okay?
11:04If you say so
11:05Okay
11:06Can we use a ballroom?
11:08Not a good idea
11:09Rats like water
11:11We really need to shower and change our clothes
11:13I'll bring a wash basin and soap, okay?
11:15Just don't move from here
11:17If I may say so
11:22The von Hasenburg family
11:24Has seen itself
11:26As a bestion of traditional moral values for centuries
11:30More soup, Baroness von Hasenburg?
11:35No, thank you
11:35Modesty, decency, good manners
11:38They are our watchwords here
11:39What is the castle's position on young people being out at night?
11:43Oh, we're against it
11:45We impose a strict 7.30 p.m. curfew on guests under the age of 21
11:49It's shocking how the young people run wild in the streets these days
11:53The stint in the army would do them all good
11:55I couldn't agree more
11:57What do you think, Lily?
11:59Well, Father, as you know, I don't think
12:02It's such a tiring habit
12:05I follow whatever you say with complete obedience
12:08Charming
12:10Splendid
12:11The world needs more young people like you, my dear
12:14Where's Ben?
12:17I'm on to it
12:19Watch it!
12:23Where have you been?
12:24Dinner started half an hour ago
12:26What are you doing with that?
12:28This
12:29It's a wash basin
12:32That much I figured
12:33It's for
12:34Look, it doesn't matter
12:35Get rid of it
12:36You need it to help serve the main course
12:38Now, Ben
12:39Hello, can I help you?
13:00We are looking for the bathroom
13:01Are you a stumpf?
13:03Guests of the baronet
13:05Baronet?
13:06What baronet?
13:07Baronet Ben
13:08Baronet Ben?
13:09Please
13:10We are desperate for a shower
13:11Rats don't scare us
13:12We've seen plenty in Africa
13:14Oh, good
13:16The bathroom
13:19Down there
13:20Second on the right
13:22Thank you
13:23Rats?
13:25Ben?
13:26Who are those girls?
13:31Girls?
13:32You must know them
13:33They seem to know you pretty well
13:34Baronet Ben
13:36Oh, right
13:38So you've met them then?
13:39Yes, I've met them
13:40Look, they have nowhere to stay
13:42So I
13:42They're not out of their room, are they?
13:44They're very much out of their room
13:46I just found them searching for the bathroom
13:47I told them to stay in their room
13:50I've got to get them back there
13:51But for the baron season
13:52Can't wait to hear all about your new title, baronet
13:55I'm sorry, but you must return to your room now
14:01The rats, remember?
14:02But I haven't had my shower
14:04Svenja
14:05Svenja
14:06Yeah?
14:08Anya, please return to your room now
14:16Anya?
14:26Svenja?
14:27Yeah?
14:28Is Anya back?
14:29No
14:30Ben?
14:31What are you doing?
14:32Sorry
14:33Svenja?
14:34Yeah?
14:35Is it on your back?
14:36Svenja?
14:37Yeah?
14:37Is it on your back?
14:38No
14:38Baronet Ben
14:39What are you doing?
14:40Sorry
14:41Marcus!
14:42One of the backpackers has escaped
14:43I can't find her anywhere
14:44The baronet's about to take the stumps on a tour
14:45He can't
14:46You'll have to stall them
14:47How?
14:48Any way you can
14:49As we still have time before it's dark
14:50Why don't we start our tour in the courtyard?
14:51Let's, uh, care for some more dessert, madam?
14:52No
14:53No
14:54Thank you
14:55Thank you
14:56Uh, fresh pot of coffee is in order then, yes?
14:58We take our coffee after the tour, thank you, Sophie
15:13Excuse me, Baron
15:15Yes, Marcus
15:16Uh, perhaps the guests should hear your celebrated account on the castle's history now, before they
15:23go on the tour
15:24Would give them excellent background
15:26What splendid idea, Marcus
15:27You brought them to tears, I thought you wanted to impress them
15:30On second thoughts, I might let the castle speak for itself
15:33If you'd like to follow me
15:36Oh, goodness
15:37I'm sorry
15:38Sam
15:39Sam
15:40Dear, what's going on?
15:43Please, stand back, everyone
15:45Give her some air
15:46I'll get cold water and a sponge
15:55No
15:57Anya
15:58Anya?
15:59Anya?
16:00Anya?
16:01Sven?
16:02Sophie?
16:03What are you doing here?
16:04One of your backpacker guests is wandering around the castle
16:08It's not one backpacker, they're both on the loose now
16:11You know what will happen if the shrimps run into them?
16:13Yes, my head will be on a spike over the main gate by sunrise
16:17Okay, we split up
16:18I'll search up here
16:19You take the ground floor
16:20If you find them, take them to the guest room at the top of the south wing and lock them in
16:25Sophie?
16:29Thanks
16:30Thank me after we find them
16:36Where am I?
16:37How do you feel dear?
16:38We see
16:39Her vital signs are all fine
16:41I suggest she just lie down for a while
16:45Lily, will you assist Sam to her room?
16:47Of course
16:48Oh, I don't know
16:50If I get up, I might faint again
16:53Marcus, give me a hand
16:55Come on, Marcus
16:57It would be nice to get it there before tomorrow
16:59Thank you all so much for your tolerance
17:01Shall we start the castle too then?
17:03Yes
17:04Perhaps this way
17:07Swedish backpackers staying here
17:09Ben invited them
17:11Tonight out of all nights as he met
17:13At least one of the girls is wandering around the castle somewhere
17:15They're girls?
17:16That's even worse
17:17That's why I fainted
17:18To delay the stoops tour of the castle
17:20Where did you not see this lost backpacker?
17:22Heading for the library
17:23Then let's find her
17:25This is the very room in which Katharina von Hasenburg
17:30Refused a kiss on the cheek from her betrothed
17:33Archduke Michael von Schleswig
17:35Until after they were married
17:37The original castle on this place
17:40What are you doing?
17:54You can't let this
17:55We're gonna take this
17:56And we're gonna go out
17:59Otto von Hasenburg believed in good manners at all times
18:02At all times
18:03It is said that he bowed to his father and mother whenever they met
18:10Yes, yes, yes, yes
18:18Come with me
18:19The castle stands as the beacon of decency for the reason
18:29We completely reject the rising tide of immorality
18:33Which threatens to engulf an asylum
18:41The von Hasenburg chronicles dating from the 12th century set out a code of moral values and good manners
18:47To which the family still adheres today
18:49Phew
18:57We didn't see any rats baronet
18:59Sophie, please tell them
19:01There are no rats
19:02And he's no baronet
19:04He's just plain Ben
19:06From Australia
19:07Hmm
19:08I think we were coming to this conclusion ourselves
19:10The more we saw of you
19:11The last we thought you were really a novel
19:13No offence Ben
19:15None taken on you
19:17Svenja
19:18Svenja
19:19Sorry
19:20Oh look
19:21There are these guests staying at the castle
19:22Very conservative guests
19:25And if they saw you wandering about
19:27They would get very upset
19:28Why didn't you just tell us that at the start?
19:30Panic
19:31I guess
19:32And stupidity
19:33Mainly
19:34Stupidity
19:35I think
19:36Never mind
19:37Look
19:38We promised to stay in our room
19:39If we can just finish our washing first
19:42Is that alright?
19:45Sure
19:46I'll stick with you guys and make sure you get back here safely
19:48And you better get back to the others
19:52So there we have it
19:53I can safely say not one whiff of scandal has ever sullied these castle walls
19:58Until now perhaps
19:59Pardon
20:00Is it useful for boys in this place
20:02To help girls wash their underwear?
20:05What?
20:07Isn't that the boy who is related to you, von Hasenburg?
20:11Yes, but only distantly
20:13From the girls?
20:18I have no idea
20:19So you allow young males in your care to spend time with females you don't know in your castle grounds
20:24No, I can assure you this is most irregular
20:27And we can assure you that the standard of behaviour is simply not good enough
20:32I said it's like some hours down it's better
20:34Very relax
20:35Fear not
20:36I'll get to the bottom of this
20:38Right now
20:43Come on guys teeth brushing wasn't part of the plan
20:45We need to get you back to your room pronto
20:47Two minutes down then you can shut the door and forget us till morning
20:50Ben!
20:51Explain yourself!
20:52What's going on here?
20:53Uh, Baron, it's uh, it's not as bad as it looks
20:57You!
20:58You!
20:59It's them!
21:00It's him!
21:01The horrible man from the supermarket!
21:02You assaulted me with your backpacks!
21:04What did I do to deserve this?
21:05Why are we playing host to these two freeloaders?
21:06They needed a room for the night
21:07Do you realise what the students are thinking?
21:08How am I ever going to explain this?
21:09You won't have to daddy, they've left
21:11Left?
21:12They said they'd seen enough
21:13This castle isn't where it pays for them after all
21:14So the conference
21:15You won't have to daddy, they've left
21:17Left?
21:18They said they'd seen enough
21:19This castle isn't where it pays for them after all
21:21So the conference
21:22Why do I bother?
21:23Don't worry Danny, we won't get our money
21:24But we won't have to put up with their silly moralising either
21:25We still have our pride
21:26Pride won't fix the plumbing, Lily
21:27They've left
21:28They've left
21:29Left?
21:30They said they'd seen enough
21:31This castle isn't where it pays for them after all
21:32So the conference
21:33Why do I bother?
21:34Don't worry Danny, we won't get our money
21:35But we won't have to put up with their silly moralising either
21:37We still have our pride
21:38Pride won't fix the plumbing, Lily
21:51Ben, I thought you were still out dealing with the rat plague
21:56Baron, I just wanted to say again how sorry I am
22:00If I could turn back the clock and restart yesterday completely, I would
22:03Thank you, Ben
22:04Alas, clocks only go one way as you know
22:07But I do have a suggestion that might help ease some of the pain
22:12Good morning, Baron
22:15Have you come to take me with your backpacks again?
22:18Actually, we've come to see if we can hire the castle
22:23I'm sorry?
22:24Our purpose in coming to this area was to find a base for our hiking club
22:28We need somewhere to house and feed 20 people for a week
22:31We spoke to Ben and he said, now that the stomps are not coming
22:35Perhaps we can take their place
22:37And we promise not to bump into you again with our backpacks in the supermarkets
22:40Or anywhere else
22:42Have I ever told you how much I like sweet little backpackers?
22:51Sophie, would you mind getting some drinks for our guests?
22:55Of course, Baron
22:56Sit, sit, sit
22:57Great save, bro, I'm impressed
23:02Thank you, Sam
23:03Keep this up and I might almost be prepared to tell people you're actually my brother
23:08You're too, too kind
23:11Okay, so you know and I know that things turning out was just an incredibly lucky coincidence
23:15But am I going to tell Sam that?
23:17No way!
23:19No way!