SPECIAL NEW YEARS MESSAGE: Putting off Procrastination!

Stefan Molyneux

Stefan Molyneux digs into procrastination, tracing it back to childhood and the way it creates a master-slave setup in how people see their own freedom. He points out that resentment builds up from tasks forced on someone early on, leading to a habit of pushing back against anything that feels like an order. Molyneux stresses seeing choices for what they are and viewing those tasks as chances instead of duties. When he talks about owning up to one's own wants, it helps people take back control, changing how they handle what needs doing and easing the drag of putting things off.  Remastered from https://fdrpodcasts.com/966/procrastination  SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux  Follow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1  GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK! https://peacefulparenting.com/  Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!  Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!  You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!  See you soon! https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2025

Transcript

00:00Hi, everybody. I hope that you're doing well. It's Devan Molyneux from Free Domain Radio.

00:04I'm going to do the long-awaited and oft-requested video on procrastination,

00:10and here, if you like, you can insert your own joke about how long it has taken me to get

00:15to the video on procrastination. But the reason for that is that it is a very complicated topic,

00:24and you would hope so, because if you do suffer from problems with procrastination,

00:29it would kind of be a bummer if it turned out to be something pretty easy to solve.

00:34So I'm going to take a swing at running you through at least my theory as to how procrastination

00:41develops within us, why it is so paralyzing and so hard to overcome, and why it is that

00:46the more we work to overcome procrastination, the worse it seems to get. And I have certainly

00:53suffered from my own problems with procrastination in my life, and so I thought I would share with

00:58you the approaches or the understanding that I have about it and the ways in which I've

01:05overcome it, and now I don't really suffer from it too much anymore.

01:10So I'm going to start off with a fairly startling statement, which, with any luck, I will be able

01:16to back up with some examples, and perhaps you will find as relevant within your own life.

01:21And that statement is that fundamentally we suffer from procrastination, or we have tendencies

01:28towards procrastination, because as children we are treated as slaves.

01:36Because as children we are treated as slaves. And let me explain sort of what I mean by that,

01:42and we'll see if we can't make a little bit of sense out of it.

01:45So, when we look at just a pure slave relationship, the old historical southern

01:52pick cotton on the back 40 kind of slave relationship, we've got the master up here and the slave down

01:57here. Well, the way that it really works in that situation, of course, is a top-down situation.

02:02The master tells the slave what to do, orders the slave to do something. The slave has no capacity

02:11or practical ability to be able to resist or oppose the orders of the master. The master says,

02:21go do X, and the slave just goes and does it, and doesn't have the ability to say no,

02:27or to negotiate, or to provide alternatives, or to express preferences in any way, shape, or form.

02:32If he tries to do that, then he's going to get attacked or punished by the master.

02:39And this, sadly, is all too common, and I would say it's pretty much the default position for

02:47children. When we're children, we are simply told what to do. We are ordered around, we are managed,

02:55we are ordered to perform certain chores, to obey, to sit still, to do our homework, to be just ordered.

03:02What to do. And we're not consulted in any way, shape, or form. And we get little sort of

03:08inconsequential consults like, would you like hot dogs or hamburgers for dinner? But our preferences,

03:13our foundational, fundamental preferences are not consulted when we're children. So,

03:19I'm just finishing up a book called Real-Time Relationships, The Philosophy of Love,

03:25which I've written two books before, on truth, the truth, and evolution, which is primarily about

03:29your relationship with your parents in the past, and other authority figures. And then,

03:34I wrote a book called Universally Preferable Behavior, A Rational Proof of Secular Ethics,

03:39which is about your relationship with virtue and reality in the present. This book is about your

03:44relationship with yourself and others in the future. So, it's sort of swinging the spotlight

03:48from the past over towards the future, so you're not driving by looking in the rearview mirror.

03:53And in that book, I'll just sort of mention a little thing that I talk about here to highlight

03:58what it is that I mean. So, when I say that our preferences or our feelings were not consulted

04:03when we were children, what I mean is that your local pizza parlor will sort of ask you from time

04:10to time, if you've ever been part of one of these surveys, you know what I mean. They'll ask you from

04:13time to time and say, what kind of pizza do you like? How soon do you want it? What kind of

04:20toppings do you want? All of this kind of market research is done in order to try and tailor

04:25the pizza experience to your particular preferences or tastes. And this also occurs with children. So,

04:33if you are a toy manufacturer, you do massive amounts of playtesting with children. You do

04:39massive amounts of research to figure out what the children like, what the children want,

04:44so that you can tailor toys that will work for them. You don't just sit there to the children and say,

04:49you will like and play with these toys, damn it. So, when we want to interact with people in a

04:57positive way, we ask them what they want. We negotiate with them. And when the pizza parlor

05:01says, what do you want? And the recipients say, I want all the pizza I could ever eat for free.

05:07Well, they say, well, we can't do that. It's a negotiation based on reality. It's not just a

05:12top-down ordering, but there's mutual consultation that's involved. So, when we understand that children's

05:20needs, wishes, and desires are consulted by toy manufacturers and other people, then we can

05:26understand that this is all possible. So, compared to your experience within your family and your

05:35experience within your school, compare that to the toy manufacturer or the pizza place or

05:39any software vendor, whoever it is that asks you for your opinion about things and tries to tailor

05:44what they offer to your particular desires, from a realistic standpoint, from a what is possible

05:50standpoint, imagine that your mom or your dad sits down with you and asks the following, and again,

05:57this is from the upcoming book, Real-Time Relationships, sits down across with you and says,

06:02listen, I wanted to get your feedback on my parenting. I wanted to know what is working for

06:11you in my parenting and what is not working for you, what you like and what you don't like,

06:16what you find productive, what you find not productive, what you find useful, what you find

06:20frustrating or irritating. So, obviously, I tell you not to eat the third candy bar. Do you generally

06:26understand, even if you don't like it in the moment, do you generally understand later why I say that,

06:31or are you just kind of obeying orders? The negative feedback that I give you or even the

06:38punishments, the timeouts, do they work for you? Do they make sense? Or are you just doing it because

06:43I'm telling you to do it? Or does it make sense to you what it is that I'm asking you to do? Even if

06:47it doesn't in the moment, like later on, does it make sense? Is there any way that I could improve

06:53your experience of being my child? Is there any way that I could become a better parent for you?

06:59And what I mean by that is, if you could imagine the best conceivable possible parent for you,

07:05what would that look like? If you could choose any parent in the world, would you choose me or would

07:10you choose someone else? If you would choose someone else, why? Help me understand how I could

07:15improve my parenting and improve your experience of being my child. Do you see that you've never been

07:24asked that? Do your parents never asked you that? Do you see how we consult our customers

07:29on toys and pizzas and software and airline flights and all these sorts of things? We consult

07:38other adults, children and so on, on their preferences in this area. But we do not consult

07:43our own children, or as children, we are not consulted by our parents, on how the family experience can be

07:50improved. This can happen with adult parents as well. Your adult parents can say to you,

07:55how do you feel when I call? Do you feel like we're having a good relationship? Is there anything

07:59that I could do to improve the relationship? Is there anything that you want that I'm not providing

08:03or that I am providing that you don't want? And that kind of honest feedback. We consult people on

08:08pizza. We don't consult people on parenting. That's very sad. And this has a lot to do with

08:14procrastination, as I'll get to shortly. If we look at something like your education as well,

08:20you went to school, let's say you went to public school, like the majority of people did. And

08:23when your teacher, did your teacher ever sit down with you and say, listen, is there any way

08:29that my teaching could be improved for you? When I teach you, do you feel like I'm just asking you to

08:35do things and you don't know why? Or does it make sense to you? Am I awakening a desire and joy,

08:40a desire for and joy in knowledge in you? Or are you just kind of going through the motions

08:45because you've got to do it, right? Is there any way that my teaching, that my class, the structure,

08:52that the topics, that the approaches, could it be improved in any way, shape or form to make your

08:57learning experience more enjoyable? And think about that. That's what I'm talking about when I'm

09:04talking about that we are treated as slaves, as children, because our desires, our feedback,

09:10our preferences in a foundational, in a fundamental way, are never consulted, are constantly rejected.

09:18And if you understand that you never had that conversation with your parents,

09:22and that you never had that conversation with your teacher, you can understand just how little

09:28your needs, your preferences, your desires were taken into account. And when you think about it,

09:33and you really think about it, that's astounding. That's astounding that we would apply that kind of

09:40objective feedback and request for information for every conceivable service except for the most

09:45important ones, which are parenting and education for children. So with that in mind, let's have a look

09:53towards how this affects the question or the issue of the problem of procrastination.

10:00When a slave master tells a slave what to do, orders a slave to do something,

10:08the slave resents it, of course, just as any human being resents being treated as an object,

10:13being treated as a machine, being ordered what to do with no account of the slave's feelings or

10:21preferences or desires. And the reason I've talked about this in the book on universally preferable

10:25behavior, the reason, of course, is that the slave master is saying, my feelings are really,

10:31really important. My desire to get you to do something is really important. So feelings

10:35are really important. Ah, but your feelings as a slave, completely unimportant, inconsequential,

10:43negative, I don't want to hear about them, I don't want to know them, just do it, damn it.

10:47Feelings are very important. Feelings are completely unimportant. Feelings are very valuable

10:53and must be obeyed. Feelings are not at all important and must be suppressed, ignored,

10:59I don't want to know. This is the contradiction that's involved, of course, in ordering people

11:02to do stuff. My preferences, my wants, my desires are absolutes. Yours don't exist, don't have any

11:08value, I don't want to know. That's the hypocrisy that's involved in this kind of relationship.

11:12And that's why we feel resentment, right? So, when the slave master orders the slave to do something,

11:19the slave can't say no, because he'll be punished, right? The slave can't refuse, the slave can't

11:24negotiate, the slave can't fight back, the slave can't reject the order, because the slave will be

11:29punished for doing that. But that doesn't mean that the resentment goes away. In fact, that makes the

11:35resentment worse, actually. So, what recourse, what option does the slave have when the slave is

11:42ordered to do something, to express the resentment? Everything we feel, we get expressed. It gets

11:47expressed in one form or another. Everything we feel, all of our experiences get expressed in one

11:52form or another, whether we like it or not. That's why it's so important to make these things conscious.

11:56So, we have some control over our reactions, can manage them more productively.

11:59Okay. Well, I'll tell you that the slave's resentment at being ordered about manifests itself

12:07in passive aggression. What I mean by that is, if the slave master orders the slave to do something,

12:14the slave, who is not allowed to negotiate or to respond, will simply do it badly. The slave will

12:23make mistakes. The slave will postpone. The slave will act stupid, act like a retarded child.

12:32The slave will break something. The slave will do it in an unproductive way. And that is how the

12:41slave's passive aggression goes back up against the slave owner. Because the slave feels frustrated at

12:49being ordered around. And since that feeling is going to manifest itself, the way that that feeling

12:53manifests itself is the slave then makes the slave master frustrated by doing a bad job.

12:59Right? So, the slave master says, you know, move these rocks. And so, the slave moves them afoot.

13:07And the slave master comes back and says, no, move the rocks over there. Right? And then the slave will

13:12move the rocks over there. And then we'll do nothing more. No initiative, no entrepreneurship,

13:16no thinking, no feedback, just becomes a passive, empty bag of muscle and bone that will accept

13:24orders but do nothing more. What this means, of course, is that the slave master actually

13:28becomes a kind of slave. Right? The slave master becomes a kind of slave. And because he's got

13:34to order the slave to do every little thing. And he's got to constantly check up on what the slave is

13:38doing. Because the only way that the slave can express a desire for freedom or can express his resentment

13:44is to be inefficient. So, slaves are always inefficient. That's why it doesn't work

13:48economically. Just order people what to do. And they express their resentment and frustration by

13:52making you resentful and frustrated by driving you crazy. So, to translate this into a typical

13:59teenage scenario, let's say you've got a mom who just tells you to do stuff and then gets angry

14:05if and when you don't do it. And so, you're sitting there on your Xbox and playing Halo 9 million or

14:12something and your mom comes in and says, hey, take out the garbage. Well, what do you feel?

14:18Master, slave, bang. You feel resentment, of course. Of course. It would be mad to not feel

14:26resentment, but be very unhealthy. It would mean that you'd be completely broken. So, you feel

14:31resentment and what do you do? You say, in a minute. Right? And if your mom is particularly aggressive,

14:38then you might roll your eyes. Yeah, okay. In a minute. Oh, geez. Take a pill. Take a chill pill,

14:44mom. Right? You're going to respond to her aggression and order by putting things off,

14:52by doing it badly, by making it really frustrating for her to order you to do something. Right?

14:58You are going to respond to the frustration and humiliation that you feel from this top-down

15:03hierarchy by flipping it and making it really frustrating and annoying for your mom to do

15:08this. So, you're going to say, in a minute, right? You're going to keep playing your game. Maybe you

15:11start a new game or whatever. And your mom's going to have to come back. Hey, take out the garbage.

15:15Yeah, mom, relax. I'm just about to do it. Right? This is the game that slaves and masters play.

15:20And it's an ugly, vicious, unending game unless you make it conscious and break the cycle.

15:27So, this resentment, this balking, this passive aggression, this doing things badly, this delay,

15:32this feigned stupidity that occurs from a slave perspective is foundational to the problem of

15:39procrastination. Because when you live in a master-slave relationship, as we all did in schools and

15:46almost all of us did in families, then what happens is, any time there's a goal, you resent it.

15:53Right? Any time. Because you have had your, quote, goals set by other people, not generated organically

16:00and spontaneously from your preferences or pleasures. Now, this is not the normal state of things at all.

16:08At all. Even remotely, even closely.

16:10I, when I was a teenager, I taught in a daycare for a couple of years. And I had a class of like

16:1935 to 10-year-olds. And I found invariably, invariably, when I treated them with respect

16:26and asked them to do something and told them why, it was a forest of volunteer hands. You couldn't tell

16:33these children what to do. They'd just grudgingly do it if you forced them and then resentfully,

16:37passive-aggressively do it badly and you'd end up more frustrated. I'll do it myself. Right?

16:42But when you treat children with respect and you ask them, you know, tell them why it's important

16:47and so on, then they want to be, you know, the big person like the adult and do the right thing

16:51and help. I've had children, my nieces, when I was very, when they were very young and a three-year-old,

16:57she wanted to help me fold my laundry. And I took her, I had to take her to do my laundry

17:01because I didn't have laundry in the house. She like wanted to, she got irritated if I didn't let

17:06her help. Our default position as children is to want to help, to want to contribute, to want to

17:10do things. Just coming back from the Miami Symposium, Christina and I were at the airport

17:16and we saw a guy hauling off these suitcases from the carousel and his daughter was there and she was

17:24like four years old and she was like, she wanted to help. She wanted to carry one of these suitcases.

17:30She wanted to contribute, right? And she got irritated when he sort of tried to say, look,

17:35they're too heavy, this and that, right? So, we ended up having to let her try and then, oh,

17:39can I help? And, you know, the children want to help, they want to contribute. So, how is it that

17:44we get turned from people with that kind of, and the children from that kind of initiative who want

17:48to help, who want to contribute, who want to participate, who want to be part of the running of

17:52the household? How do we turn from that to being these balky, passive-aggressive, don't want to put it

17:57off, do a bad job kind of people? Well, the way that we end up like that is that we're ordered

18:02around all the time and our needs are not consulted and we resent being treated like animals, like

18:07robots, like machines, like objects. And we don't like being dominated, mistrusted and bullied and

18:12dictated to. Who would? Who with any shred of self-esteem would want that or enjoy that?

18:20So, the reason that we end up with procrastination is that every to-do feels like an order that we

18:27want to put off, that we want to passive-aggressively resist. So, everything, going to school, getting

18:34an education, going to college, getting a job, filling out form, anything that we have to do that

18:41is even remotely unpleasant, puts us back in that phase of just being bang, ordered around, which we

18:49then resent and put off and postpone and we evade and we distract ourselves by playing video games or

18:55watching movies or doing anything other than the things which are kind of piling up that need to

18:59be done. Because we never were able to maintain and sustain that desire to participate and to work

19:06and to get things done because we were, bam, just bullied around and ordered around when we were

19:11children. Now, this doesn't just occur in the parent-child relationship, of course, or in the teacher-student

19:17relationship, but it occurs very strongly, of course, in marital relations or boyfriend-girlfriend

19:25relations. So, we see this kind of stuff all the time where the husband's sitting there wanting to

19:30relax or something and the wife comes in. It could be the reverse. I'm just going with the stereotype.

19:35And the wife comes in and says, I thought I told you to do the dishes. And it's aggressive or hostile.

19:40And the husband is like, yeah, in a sec, right? And then the wife is, you know, feels stymied,

19:47paralyzed, frustrated. He wants the dishes to get done, doesn't want to do them herself because

19:51she doesn't want to reinforce him not doing the dishes. But at the same time, she doesn't want

19:54to push it because it'll end up in a fight, right? So, he feels attacked and diminished. So, by saying

19:59in a minute and then mocking or attacking her for if she raises the stakes and becomes more stressed,

20:05he's simply reinfecting her with what he feels infected by through her diminishment of him,

20:10through her attack and through her negativity, right? Because the moment we own somebody else's

20:15initiative, we turn them into a slave. The moment we say, hey, you should want to do this. You better

20:20do that. You got to do this. You got to do that. Then we're substituting our bullying with the implicit

20:25punishment that that involves. Our bullying for their initiative just turns them into a slave. It means

20:31that they will do it badly. They won't want to do it. We'll constantly have to remind them

20:35we will get ever-escalating frustration. I mean, controlling other human beings just doesn't

20:38work. It just doesn't work. It just doesn't work. I mean, unless you got a gun, right? You're the

20:44government, right? So, the husband will eventually get up. Oh, fine, you know, and I'll go and do the

20:51dishes and he'll do with loud sighs and unpleasant noises and maybe he'll drop a dish or maybe he'll just

20:57do it badly. So, she's got to come and check the dishes to make sure that they're clean and she'll

21:01hand them back to him and he'll, right? This is just doing the goddamn dishes, people. And this is

21:06the kind of fight and control and humiliation and passive aggression and resentment that these

21:12simple actions can generate. Why? Because we're raised as slaves. Because our initial desire to

21:18participate and contribute to the family is crushed and snuffed out by being bullied and ordered around

21:24without any requests or preferences, right? Or those false preferences, you know, like, would you like to do

21:30the dishes or take out the garbage, you know? Whenever you order people to do something, you're

21:35automatically assuming that they're lazy and dishonest and that they won't want to do it. And you say,

21:40well, I have to order him to do the dishes because he won't get up and do the dishes, right? It's like, I

21:46would say that he doesn't want to get up and do the dishes because he was ordered around by his parents

21:50and now you're ordering him around. He hasn't solved anything and does not produce a happy and harmonious

21:57and contented relationship. So, that having been said, we sort of get that master-slave thing that

22:03we end up with procrastination, tendencies towards procrastination because we're just ordered around

22:08when we're children and told what to do. How do we break that cycle? Well, I'll just spend a few

22:15minutes on it. I don't want to make this too long. I just spend a few minutes on it. And if you're really

22:18curious, just let me know and I'll go into it in more detail. But there's a great secret, of course,

22:24life, which completely deflates the tensions that we have around procrastination. Would you like me

22:30to tell you? Shall I whisper to you? It's a great secret. It's a wonderful secret about life. And

22:35when you get the secret, you will absolutely start unraveling the whole Gordian knot of procrastination

22:39and other difficulties that you have within your life. Okay, let's come in a little close for this

22:45one because it's very important. The great secret, the great secret of life, the way to unravel and undo

22:53procrastination, my friends, is this. It's very simple. The great secret is you don't got to do

22:59squat. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to do anything at all. You don't have to get

23:09out of bed in the morning. You don't have to eat. You don't have to go to bed at night. You don't have

23:16to wear clothing. You don't have to shower. You don't have to get an education. You don't have to get

23:19a job. You don't have to do anything. I mean, you're bound by gravity. That's not much of a

23:30choice. And if you don't do things, negative consequences may occur. But so what? You don't

23:36have to go to the dentist. Maybe you'll get gingivitis and maybe you'll lose some teeth and

23:39maybe... But you don't have to go to the dentist. You don't have to fill out forms. You don't have to

23:46get a new driver's license. You don't have to do your dishes. You don't have to pay your rent.

23:50You don't have to go to school. You don't have to do any of it. Any of it. There's no have to

23:57anywhere in the universe of any kind. Not a single shred of a must or have to anywhere. You don't have

24:08to be nice to your wife. You don't have to be married. You don't have to take care of your

24:11children. You don't have to do anything. Isn't that nice? There is no master after you

24:27leave home. There's no... I mean, even with this, you don't have to do what your parents

24:32say. It's just that they'll get mad and they'll punish you and whatever. But you don't have to

24:36do anything. You don't have to do anything. I get up every morning and I say, well, what

24:41do I want to do? I want to do a video. I want to write an article. I want to pick my nose

24:47and watch soap operas. I want to eat bonbons. What do I want to do? I don't have to do anything.

24:53Even when I was getting up and going to work, I would wake up and say, do I want to go to

24:58work today? I don't have to. I don't have to at all. I don't have to get out of bed. I can

25:04sleep in till noon if I want. There may be consequences to that. I lose my job, but I

25:09don't have to. Because the moment that we externalize these have-tos, we set up

25:15enslavement for ourselves, which then becomes resentment and procrastination. The moment we

25:22set up the have-tos, I've got to finish this education. I've got to write that exam. No,

25:27you don't. You really, truly, seriously, and genuinely don't. You don't. There's no

25:36have-tos. There's no got-tos. There's no compulsions anywhere in your life. You don't

25:41have to pay your taxes. There'll be consequences. But so what? You don't have to pay your taxes.

25:46You don't have to eat. The consequence, you'll get hungry. You don't have to drink. The consequence,

25:48you'll get thirsty. But you don't have to do anything. If you're in school, you can walk

25:53out tomorrow. You can go and hitchhike to New Orleans and live as a panhandler. You

26:00can do anything that you want. Anything! The next five minutes, the next day, the next

26:06year, the next decade, the rest of your life is a completely blank canvas, and you

26:12can write in it anything. Anything, anything, anything that you want. Anything. You don't

26:18have to do anything. And once you get that, then procrastination just dries up and blows

26:27away. Just dries up and blows away. Not tomorrow, not the habit that takes some unraveling. But

26:37through that act of saying, my future is a blank canvas. I can write anything, do anything

26:43that I want. I can become a clown. I can become an astronaut. I can do nothing. I can

26:48find some kind friend and live on his couch. Or whatever. Anything. You don't have to do

26:53anything. Once you recognize that life is a blank canvas, and you can write whatever

26:57you want into the next five minutes, or five years, or 50 years, once you get and understand

27:05that, then there's nothing to put off. Because everything that you do then becomes your choice,

27:12your preference. I go to the dentist because I don't want teeth problems. It's my choice. Nobody's

27:18saying, go to the dentist or else, or I'll punish you. No, it's my choice. It's my choice. Once

27:23things become your choice, once you reawaken and reown your capacity to choose based on your own

27:28preferences, without have-tos coming, clouding in from everywhere else, once you get that process

27:33underway, there's nothing to put off because you're actually choosing things. You're actually

27:38making those decisions. You're not just letting other people's expectations and desires and wants

27:43and anxieties bully you into X, Y, and Z, which then, the moment that you force yourself to do

27:48something, you immediately generate the slave resentment. Immediately and irrevocably. It's

27:52unstoppable. The moment you force yourself to do something, the moment you make yourself

27:57gotta do something because, because, because. The moment you've got to do something, boom,

28:02boom, slave resentment, procrastination, annoyance, frustration, self-castigation,

28:08self-abuse. Inevitable. Can't be stopped. You can throw yourself off a cliff. You can't avoid

28:13gravity. You can choose to bully yourself to do things or to internalize other people's

28:17expectations. Boom. You just get slave resentment. Immediately, irrevocably. Can't be stopped.

28:22That is the inevitable cause and effect relationship. So, if you want to deal with the problem

28:28of procrastination, first of all, you need to recognize that it's not natural. It's not natural

28:37to procrastinate. It is an artificial scar tissue that results from being controlled and bullied

28:43when you were a child, in school, in church, at home, in your extended family, from not being

28:51consulted, from not being treated with respect. It's a sad, sad situation that results from this

28:57kind of control and bullying. So, if you understand that procrastination is a slave,

29:04passive-aggressive response to being ordered around, and you're an adult, then it's very

29:14simple. Since procrastination is a slave response, if you want to stop procrastinating, stop being

29:22a slave. And if you want to stop being a slave, that means stop ordering yourself around, and

29:27recognize there's nothing you have to do. Anything that you do is your choice. There's

29:34no order. There's no one ordering you around. There's nothing you have to do. Make your own

29:39choices. When you own and make your own choices based on what you actually want,

29:43then you are free, and you don't have to postpone anything. Because what you're choosing is your

29:51life and your preference, and we don't postpone pleasure. We may defer it for a short time for

29:57the sake of greater pleasure later on, like going to the dentist. But you won't procrastinate,

30:02because you are loving what you're doing. You are living in your preferences, your desires,

30:08not taking orders from other people, from the past, from history, from ghosts, from ancestors,

30:12from family, from parents, from schools, from governments, from churches, from popes.

30:16Your choices. Your choices. And when you own your choices, you won't procrastinate, because it's

30:22your life. And we don't put off that which is pleasurable to us, which we live richly in the

30:27moment. So I hope that this helps. Thank you so, so much for watching. As always, you guys make this

30:35conversation what it is. And I hugely appreciate your attention, generosity, financial support,

30:39participation in this conversation. Thank you so much. And I hope this has been helpful.

30:44Please do let me know what you think.

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